Named characters

Major entities (proper, common)

FAC

120 home/Home
72 the room/The room
24 the library
21 the hall/the Hall/The hall
15 the school - room
13 there
13 the house
11 his home
9 the garden
9 church

GPE

7 the village/The village
4 the metropolis
4 the town
2 the nearest town
2 his country
2 there
1 a small straggling village
1 the ill - fated one he had chosen for my husband
1 that country
1 the kingdom

LOC

26 the world
15 sea
9 land
9 the sea
9 the beach
8 the island
5 earth
5 shore
4 Heaven
4 the shore

PER

157 her mother/Her mother
126 her aunt/Her aunt
110 mamma/Mamma
87 his mother/His mother
79 her husband/Her husband
77 her father/Her father/her Father
70 his father/His father
69 my dear/My dear
59 her brother
56 papa

ORG

2 his regiment
2 the ministry
1 the home government
1 the government
1 an establishment for youths of high rank
1 the navy
1 schools to attend
1 the little flotilla which accompanied him
1 government

VEH

16 the carriage/The carriage
10 the boat
5 a ship
4 a carriage
4 his ship
4 a boat
3 the vessel
3 the ship
2 My ship/my ship
2 his own ship/His own ship

Text

In [a very beautiful part of [Wales]_1-wales]_{250-a very beautiful part of wales} , between [the northern boundaries of [Glamorgan]_2-glamorgan]_{251-the northern boundaries of glamorgan} and [the southeastern of [Carmarthenshire]_{3-carmarthenshire}]_{252-the southeastern of carmarthenshire} , there stood , some twenty or thirty years ago , [a small straggling village]_{253-a small straggling village} . [Its]_{253-a small straggling village} locality was so completely concealed that the appearance of [a gentleman]_{254-a gentleman} 's carriage , or , in fact , [any vehicle superior to a light spring - cart]_{255-any vehicle superior to a light spring - cart} , was of such extremely rare occurence as to be dated , in the annals of [Llangwillan]_{4-llangwillan} , as a remarkable event , providing [the simple villagers]_{256-the simple villagers} with amusing wonderment for weeks . [The village]_{257-the village} was scattered over the side of [a steep and rugged hill]_{258-a steep and rugged hill} ; and on the east , emerging from [a thick hedge of yews and larches]_{259-a thick hedge of yews and larches} , peeped forth [the picturesque old church , whose tin - coated spire , glittering in the faintest sunshine]_{260-the picturesque old church , whose tin - coated spire , glittering in the faintest sunshine} , removed all appearance of gloom from the thick trees , and seemed to whisper , whatever darkness lingered round , light was always shining there . [The churchyard]_{261-the churchyard} , which [the yews and larches]_{262-the yews and larches} screened , was [a complete natural garden]_{263-a complete natural garden} , from the lowly cottage flowers , planted by loving hands over many [a grassy grave]_{264-a grassy grave} , and so hallowed that not [a child]_{265-a child} would pluck them , however tempted by their luxuriance and beauty . [A pretty cottage , whose white walls were covered with jasmine , roses , and honeysuckle]_{266-a pretty cottage , whose white walls were covered with jasmine , roses , and honeysuckle} , marked the humble residence of [the village minister , who though in worldly rank only [a poor curate]_{268-a poor curate} , from [his]_{267-the village minister , who though in worldly rank only a poor curate , from his spiritual gifts} spiritual gifts]_{267-the village minister , who though in worldly rank only a poor curate , from his spiritual gifts} deserved a much higher grade . [A gurgling stream]_{269-a gurgling stream} ran leaping and sparkling over [the craggy hill]_{270-the craggy hill} till it formed a deep , wide bed for itself along [the road]_{271-the road} leading to [the nearest town]_{272-the nearest town} , embanked on one side by a tall leafy hedge , and on the other by rich grass and meadow flowers . By the side of [this stream]_{273-this stream} [groups of village children]_{274-groups of village children} were continually found , sometimes reaching for some particular flower or insect , or floating pieces of wood with a twig stuck upright within them as tiny fleets ; but this amusement had given place the last ten days to the greater excitement of watching the progress of [a miniature frigate]_{275-a miniature frigate} , the workmanship of [a young lad who had only very lately become an inmate of [the village]_{257-the village}]_{276-a young lad who had only very lately become an inmate of the village} . All had been at length completed , sails , ropes , and masts , with a degree of neatness and beauty , showing not only ingenuity but observation ; and one lovely summer evening the ceremony of launching took place . For a few minutes [she]_{276-a young lad who had only very lately become an inmate of the village} tottered and reeled amid [the tiny breakers]_{278-the tiny breakers} , then suddenly regained [her]_{276-a young lad who had only very lately become an inmate of the village} equilibrium and dashed gallantly along . A loud shout burst from [the group]_{279-the group} , from all save [the owner]_{280-the owner} , [a beautiful boy of some twelve years]_{281-a beautiful boy of some twelve years} , who contented [himself]_{280-the owner} with raising [his]_{280-the owner} slight figure to its full height , and looking proudly and triumphantly round [him]_{280-the owner} . One glance would suffice to satisfy that [his]_{280-the owner} rank in life was far superior to that of [[his]_{280-the owner} companions]_{282-his companions} , and that [he]_{280-the owner} condescended from circumstances , not from choice , to mingle with [them]_{282-his companions} . So absorbed was the general attention that the very unusual sound of carriage - wheels was unremarked until close beside [them]_{282-his companions} , and then so astounding was the sight of [a private carriage]_{283-a private carriage} and [the coachman]_{284-the coachman} 's very simple question if [that road]_{285-that road} led to [the village]_{257-the village} , that all hung back confused . [The owner of the little vessel]_{287-the owner of the little vessel} , however , answered proudly and briefly in the affirmative . " And can [you]_{290-the boy} direct [me]_{288-a lady} , [[my]_{288-a lady} good boy]_{3415-my good boy} , "_{[288-a lady]} inquired [a lady]_{288-a lady} , looking from the window , and smiling kindly at [the abashed group]_{289-the abashed group} " to [the residence of [Mrs. Fortescue]_{73-mrs. fortescue}]_{3416-the residence of mrs. fortescue} , it is out of [the village]_{257-the village} , is it not ? "_{[288-a lady]} " [Mrs. Fortescue]_{73-mrs. fortescue} ! "_{[290-the boy]} repeated [the boy]_{290-the boy} eagerly and gladly , and [his]_{290-the boy} cap was off [his]_{290-the boy} head in a moment , and the bright sunshine streamed on a face of such remarkable beauty , and withal so familiar , that though [the lady]_{291-the lady} bent eagerly forward to address [him]_{290-the boy} , emotion so choked [her]_{291-the lady} voice that [the lad]_{292-the lad} was enabled to reply to [her]_{291-the lady} inquiry , and direct [the coachman]_{284-the coachman} to [the only inn of [the village]_{257-the village}]_{294-the only inn of the village} , and [they]_296-they had driven off before words returned . [The boy]_{290-the boy} looked eagerly after [them]_296-they , then desiring one of [[his]_{290-the boy} companions]_{282-his companions} to meet [the lady]_{291-the lady} at [the inn]_{300-the inn} , and guide [her]_{291-the lady} to [the cottage]_{301-the cottage} , caught up [[his]_{290-the boy} little vessel]_{302-his little vessel} , and darted off across [some fields]_{303-some fields} which led by [a shorter cut]_{304-a shorter cut} to [the same place]_{305-the same place} . [It]_306-it was [a very humble dwelling]_{307-a very humble dwelling} , so surrounded by hills that [their]_296-they shadow always seemed to overhang [it]_306-it : yet within , the happy temper of [a poor widow]_{308-a poor widow} and [[her]_{308-a poor widow} daughter]_{309-her daughter} kept up a perpetual sunshine . Three weeks previous to the evening [we]_310-we have mentioned , [a lady]_{288-a lady} and [two children]_{312-two children} had arrived at [Llangwillan]_{4-llangwillan} , unable to proceed farther from the severe indisposition of [the former]_{313-the former} . [They]_296-they were unattended , and [the driver]_{314-the driver} only knew that [their]_296-they destination was [Swansea]_5-swansea ; [he]_{314-the driver} believed [they]_296-they had been shipwrecked off [Pembroke]_6-pembroke , and that [the poor lady]_{315-the poor lady} was very ill when [she]_{315-the poor lady} commenced [her]_{315-the poor lady} journey , but the curious inquiries of [the villagers]_{316-the villagers} could elicit nothing more . [Mr. Myrvin]_{74-mr. myrvin} , with characteristic benevolence , devoted [himself]_{74-mr. myrvin} to insuring , as far as [he]_{74-mr. myrvin} could , the comfort of [the invalid]_{317-the invalid} ; had [her]_{315-the poor lady} removed from [the inn]_{300-the inn} to [[Widow Morgan]_{75-widow morgan} 's cottage]_{319-widow morgan 's cottage} , confident that [there]_320-there [she]_{315-the poor lady} would at least be nursed with tenderness and care , and so near [him]_{74-mr. myrvin} as to permit [his]_{74-mr. myrvin} constant watchfulness . But a very few days too sadly convinced [him]_{74-mr. myrvin} , not only that [her]_{315-the poor lady} disease was mortal , but that [his]_{74-mr. myrvin} presence and gentle accents irritated instead of soothed . Ill - temper and self - will seemed to increase with the weakness , which every day rendered [her]_{315-the poor lady} longing to continue [her]_{315-the poor lady} journey more and more futile . It was some days before [she]_{315-the poor lady} could even be persuaded to write to [the relative [she]_{315-the poor lady} was about to seek]_{321-the relative she was about to seek} , so determined was [she]_{315-the poor lady} that [she]_{315-the poor lady} would get well ; and when the letter was forwarded , and long before an answer could have been received ( for twenty years ago there were no railroads to carry on epistolary communication as now ) , fretfulness and despondency increased physical suffering , by the determined conviction that [she]_{315-the poor lady} was abandoned , [[her]_{315-the poor lady} children]_{322-her children} would be left uncared for . In vain [Mr. Myrvin]_{74-mr. myrvin} assured [her]_{315-the poor lady} of the impossibility yet to receive a reply , that the direction might not even have been distinct enough , for [her]_{315-the poor lady} memory had failed [her]_{315-the poor lady} in dictating it ; [she]_{315-the poor lady} knew [she]_{315-the poor lady} was deserted , [she]_{315-the poor lady} might have deserved it , but [[her]_{315-the poor lady} [Edward]_76-edward]_{323-her edward} was innocent , and it was very hard on [him]_76-edward . As self - will subsided in physical exhaustion , misery increased . A restless torturing remembrance seemed to have taken possession of [her]_{315-the poor lady} , which all the efforts of [the earnest clergyman]_{324-the earnest clergyman} were utterly ineffectual to remove . [She]_{315-the poor lady} would not listen to the peace [he]_{324-the earnest clergyman} proffered , and so painfully did [his]_{324-the earnest clergyman} gentle eloquence appear to irritate instead of calm , that [he]_{324-the earnest clergyman} desisted , earnestly praying , that [[her]_{315-the poor lady} sister]_{325-her sister} might answer the letter in person , and by removing anxiety prepare the mind for better thoughts . One object alone had power to bring something like a smile to that altered but still most beautiful countenance , conquer even irritation , and still create intervals of pleasure — it was [[her]_{315-the poor lady} son]_{326-her son} , [the same beautiful boy [we]_328-we have already noticed , and whose likeness to [herself]_{315-the poor lady}]_{327-the same beautiful boy we have already noticed , and whose likeness to herself} was so [extraordinary that it would have been almost too feminine a beauty , had it not been for the sparkling animated expression of every feature]_{329-extraordinary that it would have been almost too feminine a beauty , had it not been for the sparkling animated expression of every feature} , and the manly self - possession which characterized [his]_{324-the earnest clergyman} every movement . That [he]_{324-the earnest clergyman} should be [[his]_{324-the earnest clergyman} mother]_{330-his mother} 's idol was not very surprising , for the indiscreet and lavish indulgence which had been [his]_{324-the earnest clergyman} from birth , had not yet had power to shake [his]_{324-the earnest clergyman} doating fondness for [[his]_{324-the earnest clergyman} mother]_{330-his mother} , or interfere with [her]_{330-his mother} happiness by the visible display of the faults which [her]_{330-his mother} weakness had engendered . Caressingly affectionate , open - hearted , generous , and ever making [her]_{330-his mother} [his]_{324-the earnest clergyman} first object , perhaps even [a more penetrating mother]_{332-a more penetrating mother} would have seen nothing to dread but all to love . [His]_{324-the earnest clergyman} uncontrolled passion at the slightest cross , [his]_{324-the earnest clergyman} haughty pride and indomitable will toward all save [her]_{330-his mother} , but increased [her]_{330-his mother} affection . And when [he]_{324-the earnest clergyman} was with [her]_{330-his mother} , which [he]_{324-the earnest clergyman} was very often , considering that [a sick close room]_{333-a sick close room} would have been utterly repugnant to [him]_{324-the earnest clergyman} had [it]_{333-a sick close room} not contained [[his]_{324-the earnest clergyman} mother]_{330-his mother} , [Mrs. Fortescue]_{73-mrs. fortescue} was actually happy . But it was a happiness only increasing [her]_{330-his mother} intensity of suffering when [[her]_{330-his mother} son]_{326-her son} was absent . Hide it from [herself]_{330-his mother} as [she]_{330-his mother} might , the truth would press upon [her]_{330-his mother} that [she]_{330-his mother} was dying , and [[her]_{330-his mother} darling]_{336-her darling} must be left to the care of relations indeed , but [utter strangers to [him]_{324-the earnest clergyman}]_{337-utter strangers to him} , and unlikely to treat [him]_{324-the earnest clergyman} as [she]_{330-his mother} had done . [She]_{330-his mother} knew that [he]_{324-the earnest clergyman} had , what [strict disciplinarians]_{338-strict disciplinarians} , as [she]_{330-his mother} chose to regard [[her]_{330-his mother} sister]_{325-her sister} and [[her]_{330-his mother} husband]_{340-her husband} , would term and treat as serious faults , while [she]_{330-his mother} felt [them]_341-them actually virtues ; and agony for [him]_{324-the earnest clergyman} in the dread of what [he]_{324-the earnest clergyman} might be called upon to endure , would deluge [her]_{330-his mother} pillow with passionate tears , and shake [her]_{330-his mother} slight frame as with convulsion . The day [we]_342-we have mentioned , [Edward]_76-edward had been absent longer than usual , and toward evening [Mrs. Fortescue]_{73-mrs. fortescue} awoke from a troubled sleep to brood over these thoughts , till [they]_343-they had produced [their]_343-they usual effect in tears and sobs , the more painful to witness from the increasing physical incapacity to struggle with [them]_343-they . [A little girl , between ten and eleven years old]_{344-a little girl , between ten and eleven years old} , was seated on a low wooden stool , half concealed by the coarse curtain of the bed , employed in sewing some bright gilt buttons on a blue jacket . It seemed hard work for those small , delicate hands ; but [she]_{344-a little girl , between ten and eleven years old} did not look up from [her]_{344-a little girl , between ten and eleven years old} task till roused by the too familiar sound of [[her]_{344-a little girl , between ten and eleven years old} mother]_{345-her mother} 's suffering , and then , as [she]_{344-a little girl , between ten and eleven years old} raised [her]_{344-a little girl , between ten and eleven years old} head , and flung back the heavy and somewhat disordered ringlets , the impulse seemed to be to spring up and try to soothe , but a mournful expression quickly succeeded , and [she]_{344-a little girl , between ten and eleven years old} sat several minutes without moving . At length , as [Mrs. Fortescue]_{73-mrs. fortescue} 's sobs seemed almost to suffocate [her]_{344-a little girl , between ten and eleven years old} , [the child]_{346-the child} gently bent over [her]_{344-a little girl , between ten and eleven years old} , saying , very timidly , " Dear mamma , shall [I]_{346-the child} call [widow Morgan]_{75-widow morgan} , or can [I]_{346-the child} get any thing for [you]_{344-a little girl , between ten and eleven years old} ? "_{[346-the child]} and , without waiting for a reply , save the angry negative to the first question , [she]_{344-a little girl , between ten and eleven years old} held a glass of water to [[her]_{344-a little girl , between ten and eleven years old} mother]_{345-her mother} 's lips and bathed [her]_{344-a little girl , between ten and eleven years old} forehead . After a few minutes [Mrs. Fortescue]_{73-mrs. fortescue} revived sufficiently to inquire where [Edward]_76-edward was . " [He]_76-edward has gone down to [the stream]_{3418-the stream} to launch [[his]_76-edward little frigate]_{3419-his little frigate} , [mamma]_3420-mamma , and asked [me]_{73-mrs. fortescue} to fasten these buttons on [his]_76-edward jacket , to make it look like [a sailor]_{3421-a sailor} 's meanwhile ; [I]_{73-mrs. fortescue} do not think [he]_76-edward will be very long now . "_{[73-mrs. fortescue]} [Mrs. Fortescue]_{73-mrs. fortescue} made no rejoinder , except to utter aloud those thoughts which had caused [her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} previous paroxysm , and [[her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} little girl]_{348-her little girl} , after a very evident struggle with [her]_{348-her little girl} own painful timidity , ventured to say : " But why should [you]_{73-mrs. fortescue} fear so much for [Edward]_76-edward , [dear mamma]_{3422-dear mamma} ? [Every body]_{3423-every body} loves [him]_76-edward and admires [him]_76-edward , so [I]_{348-her little girl} am sure [[my]_{348-her little girl} aunt]_{3424-my aunt} and [uncle]_3425-uncle will . "_{[348-her little girl]} " [[Your]_{3422-dear mamma} aunt]_{3426-your aunt} may for [my]_{73-mrs. fortescue} sake , but [she]_{3426-your aunt} will not love or bear with [his]_76-edward childish faults as [I]_{73-mrs. fortescue} have done ; and [[your]_{3422-dear mamma} uncle]_{3427-your uncle} is such [a harsh , stern man]_{3428-a harsh , stern man} , that there is little hope for [his]_76-edward forbearance with [my]_{73-mrs. fortescue} poor [Edward]_76-edward . And [he]_76-edward is so frank and bold , [he]_76-edward will not know how even to conceal [his]_76-edward boyish errors , and [he]_76-edward will be punished , and [his]_76-edward fine spirit broken , and who will be there to shield and soothe [him]_76-edward ! "_{[73-mrs. fortescue]} " [I]_{350-her child} may be able sometimes , [mamma]_3420-mamma , and indeed , indeed , [I]_{350-her child} will whenever [I]_{350-her child} can , "_{[350-her child]} replied [[her]_349-her child]_{350-her child} , with affecting earnestness . " [I]_{350-her child} love [him]_76-edward so very , very much , and [I]_{350-her child} know [he]_76-edward is so much better than [I]_{350-her child} am , that it will be very easy to help [him]_76-edward whenever [I]_{350-her child} can . "_{[350-her child]} " Will [you]_3420-mamma promise [me]_{73-mrs. fortescue} , [Ellen]_113-ellen , will [you]_3420-mamma really promise [me]_{73-mrs. fortescue} to shield [him]_76-edward , and save [him]_76-edward from harshness whenever it is in [your]_3420-mamma power , "_{[73-mrs. fortescue]} exclaimed [Mrs. Fortescue]_{73-mrs. fortescue} , so eagerly , that [she]_{73-mrs. fortescue} half raised [herself]_{73-mrs. fortescue} , and pressed [Ellen]_113-ellen to [her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} with an appearance of affection so unusual , and a kiss so warm , that that moment never passed from [the child]_{346-the child} 's mind , and the promise [she]_{73-mrs. fortescue} gave was registered in [her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} own heart , with a solemnity and firmness of purpose little imagined by [[her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} mother]_{345-her mother} , who when [she]_{73-mrs. fortescue} demanded it , conceived neither its actual purport nor extent ; [she]_{73-mrs. fortescue} only felt relieved that [Edward]_76-edward would have some one by [him]_76-edward , to love [him]_76-edward and enable [him]_76-edward to conceal [his]_76-edward errors , if [he]_76-edward should commit any . Had [she]_{73-mrs. fortescue} studied and known the character of [Ellen]_113-ellen as [she]_{73-mrs. fortescue} did that of [[her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} son]_{326-her son} , that promise would perhaps never have been asked ; nor would [she]_{73-mrs. fortescue} so incautiously and mistakenly have laid so great a stress upon concealment , as the only sure means of guarding from blame . From [her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} childhood [Mrs. Fortescue]_{73-mrs. fortescue} had been [a creature of passion and impulse]_{354-a creature of passion and impulse} , and maternity had unhappily not altered one tittle of [her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} character . In what manner , or at what cost , [Ellen]_113-ellen might be enabled to keep that promise , never entered [her]_113-ellen mind . It had never been [her]_113-ellen wo nt , even in days of health , to examine or reflect , and present weakness permitted only the morbid indulgence of one exaggerated thought . For several minutes [she]_{73-mrs. fortescue} lay quite silent , and [Ellen]_113-ellen resumed [her]_113-ellen seat and work , [her]_113-ellen temples throbbing , [she]_113-ellen knew not why , and a vain longing to throw [her]_113-ellen arms round [[her]_113-ellen mother]_{345-her mother} 's neck , and entreat [her]_113-ellen only for one more kiss , one other word of love ; and the consciousness that [she]_113-ellen dared not , caused the hot tears to rush into [her]_113-ellen eyes , and almost blind [her]_113-ellen , but [she]_113-ellen would not let them fall , for [she]_113-ellen had learned long ago , that while [Edward]_76-edward 's tears only excited soothing and caresses , [hers]_113-ellen always called forth irritation and reproof . " Joy , joy ! [Mother]_3430-mother , [darling]_3431-darling ! "_[76-edward] exclaimed an eager voice , some minutes afterward , and [Edward]_76-edward bounded into [the room]_{356-the room} , and throwing [himself]_76-edward by [[his]_76-edward mother]_{330-his mother} 's side , kissed [her]_{330-his mother} pale cheek again and again . " Such joy ! [[My]_76-edward ship]_{3432-my ship} sailed so beautifully , [I]_76-edward quite longed for [you]_76-edward to see it , and [you]_76-edward will one day when [you]_76-edward get well and strong again ; and [I]_76-edward know [you]_76-edward will soon now , for [I]_76-edward am sure [aunt Emmeline]_78-emmeline will very soon come , and then , then , [you]_76-edward will be so happy , and [we]_3433-we shall all be happy again ! "_[76-edward] [Mrs. Fortescue]_{73-mrs. fortescue} pressed [him]_76-edward closer and closer to [her]_{330-his mother} , returning [his]_76-edward kisses with such passionate fondness , that tears mingled with them , and fell upon [his]_76-edward cheek . " Do n't cry , [mamma]_3420-mamma , [dear]_3435-dear ! indeed , indeed , [[my]_{330-his mother} aunt]_{3424-my aunt} will soon come . Do [you]_76-edward know [I]_{330-his mother} think [I]_{330-his mother} have seen [her]_{3424-my aunt} and spoken to [her]_{3424-my aunt} , too ? "_{[330-his mother]} " Seen [her]_{3424-my aunt} , [Edward]_76-edward ? [You]_{330-his mother} mean [you]_76-edward have dreamed about [her]_{3424-my aunt} , and so fancy [you]_76-edward have seen [her]_{3424-my aunt} ; "_{[330-his mother]} but the eager , anxious look [she]_{330-his mother} fixed upon [him]_76-edward evinced more hope than [her]_{330-his mother} words . " No , no , [mamma]_3420-mamma ; as [we]_3438-we were watching [[my]_{330-his mother} ship]_{3432-my ship} , [a carriage]_{3440-a carriage} passed [us]_3438-we , and [a lady]_{288-a lady} spoke to [me]_{330-his mother} , and asked [me]_{330-his mother} the way to [the cottage where [you]_76-edward lived]_{3442-the cottage where you lived} , and [I]_{330-his mother} am sure it is [aunt Emmeline]_78-emmeline from [her]_78-emmeline smile . "_{[330-his mother]} " It can not be , "_{[330-his mother]} murmured [[his]_76-edward mother]_{330-his mother} , sadly ; " unless — "_{[330-his mother]} and [her]_{330-his mother} countenance brightened . " Did [she]_78-emmeline speak to [you]_76-edward , [Edward]_76-edward , as if [she]_78-emmeline knew [you]_76-edward , recognized [you]_76-edward , from [your]_76-edward likeness to [me]_{330-his mother} ? "_{[330-his mother]} " No , [mamma]_3420-mamma , there was no time , [the carriage]_{3444-the carriage} drove off again so quickly ; but , hush ! [I]_76-edward am sure [I]_76-edward hear [her]_78-emmeline voice down [stairs]_3445-stairs , "_[76-edward] and [he]_76-edward sprung up from the bed and listened eagerly . " Yes , yes , [I]_76-edward am right , and [she]_78-emmeline is coming up ; no , it 's only [widow Morgan]_{75-widow morgan} , but [I]_76-edward am sure it is [[my]_76-edward aunt]_{3424-my aunt} by [your]_{330-his mother} face , "_[76-edward] [he]_76-edward added , impatiently , as [Mrs. Morgan]_{79-widow morgan} tried by signs to beg [him]_76-edward to be more cautious , and not to agitate [[his]_76-edward mother]_{330-his mother} . " Why do n't [you]_{330-his mother} let [her]_78-emmeline come up ? "_[76-edward] and springing down [the whole flight of stairs]_{360-the whole flight of stairs} in two bounds , [he]_76-edward rushed into [the little parlor]_{361-the little parlor} , caught hold of [the lady]_{291-the lady} 's dress , and exclaimed , " [You]_{330-his mother} are [[my]_76-edward aunt]_{3424-my aunt} , [[my]_76-edward own dear aunt]_{3448-my own dear aunt} ; do come up to [mamma]_80-mamma , [she]_78-emmeline has been wanting [you]_76-edward so long , so very long , and [you]_76-edward will make [her]_78-emmeline well , [dear aunt]_{3449-dear aunt} , will [you]_76-edward not ? "_[76-edward] " Oh , that [I]_{291-the lady} may be allowed to do so , [dear boy]_{3450-dear boy} ! "_{[291-the lady]} was the painfully agitated reply , and [she]_{291-the lady} hastened up [the stairs]_{363-the stairs} . But to [Edward]_76-edward 's grief and astonishment , so little was [he]_76-edward conscious of [[his]_76-edward mother]_{330-his mother} 's exhausted state , the sight of [[his]_76-edward aunt]_{365-his aunt} , prepared in some measure as [she]_{365-his aunt} was , seemed to bring increase of suffering instead of joy . There was a convulsive effort for speech , a passionate return of [[her]_{291-the lady} sister]_{325-her sister} 's embrace , and [she]_{365-his aunt} fainted . [Edward]_76-edward in terror flung [himself]_76-edward beside [her]_{365-his aunt} , entreating [her]_{365-his aunt} not to look so pale , but to wake and speak to [him]_76-edward . [Ellen]_113-ellen , with a quickness and decision , which even at that moment caused [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} to look at [her]_113-ellen with astonishment , applied the usual restoratives , evincing no unusual alarm , and [a careless observer]_{368-a careless observer} might have said , no feeling ; but it was only a momentary thought which [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} could give to [Ellen]_113-ellen , every feeling was engrossed in the deep emotion with which [she]_{365-his aunt} gazed on the faded form and altered face of that still beloved though erring one : who , when [she]_{365-his aunt} had last beheld [her]_113-ellen , thirteen years previous , was bright , buoyant , lovely as [the boy beside [them]_370-them]_{369-the boy beside them} . [Her]_{365-his aunt} voice yet , more than the proffered remedies , seemed to recall life , and after a brief interval the choking thought found words . " [[My]_{365-his aunt} father]_{3451-my father} ! [[my]_{365-his aunt} father]_{3451-my father} ! Oh , [Emmeline]_78-emmeline [I]_{365-his aunt} know that [he]_{3451-my father} is dead ! [My]_{365-his aunt} disobedience , [my]_{365-his aunt} ingratitude for all [his]_{3451-my father} too indulgent love , killed [him]_{3451-my father} — [I]_{365-his aunt} know it did . But did [he]_{3451-my father} curse [me]_{365-his aunt} , [Emmeline]_78-emmeline ? did all [his]_{3451-my father} love turn to wrath , as it ought to have done ? did — "_{[365-his aunt]} " [Dearest Eleanor]_{82-dearest eleanor} , "_{[81-mrs. hamilton]} replied [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , with earnest tenderness , " dismiss such painful thoughts at once ; [[our]_370-them poor father]_{3453-our poor father} did feel [your]_{82-dearest eleanor} conduct deeply , but [he]_{3453-our poor father} forgave it , would have received [[your]_{82-dearest eleanor} husband]_{3454-your husband} , caressed , loved [you]_{82-dearest eleanor} as before , had [you]_{82-dearest eleanor} but returned to [him]_{3453-our poor father} ; and so loved [you]_{82-dearest eleanor} to the last moment , that [your]_{82-dearest eleanor} name was the last word upon [his]_{3453-our poor father} lips . But this is no subject for [such youthful auditors]_{3455-such youthful auditors} , "_[371-her] [she]_371-her continued , interrupting [herself]_371-her , as [she]_371-her met [Edward]_76-edward 's bright eyes fixed wonderingly upon [her]_371-her face , and noticed the excessive paleness of [Ellen]_113-ellen 's cheek . " [You]_113-ellen look weary , [[my]_371-her love]_{3456-my love} , "_[371-her] [she]_371-her said , kindly , drawing [[her]_371-her niece]_{372-her niece} to [her]_371-her , and affectionately kissing [her]_113-ellen . " [Edward]_76-edward has made [his]_76-edward own acquaintance with [me]_371-her , why did [you]_113-ellen not do so too ? But go now into [the garden]_{3457-the garden} for a little while , [I]_371-her am sure [you]_113-ellen want fresh air , and [I]_371-her will take [your]_113-ellen place as [nurse mean while]_{3458-nurse mean while} . Will [you]_113-ellen trust [me]_371-her ? "_[371-her] And the kind smile which accompanied [her]_371-her words gave [Ellen]_113-ellen courage to return [her]_113-ellen kiss , but [she]_113-ellen left [the room]_{356-the room} without speaking . [Edward]_76-edward required more persuasion ; and the moment [he]_76-edward was permitted [he]_76-edward returned , seated [himself]_76-edward on a stool at [[his]_76-edward aunt]_{365-his aunt} 's feet , laid [his]_76-edward head on [her]_{365-his aunt} lap , and remained for nearly an hour quite silent , watching with [her]_{365-his aunt} the calm slumbers which had followed the agitating conversation between [them]_375-them . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} was irresistibly attracted toward [him]_76-edward , and rather wondered that [Ellen]_113-ellen should stay away so long . [She]_{365-his aunt} did not know that [Edward]_76-edward had spent almost the whole of that day in the joyous sports natural to [his]_76-edward age , and that it had been many weary days and nights since [Ellen]_113-ellen had quitted [[[her]_113-ellen mother]_{345-her mother} 's room]_{377-her mother 's room} . On leaving [the cottage]_{301-the cottage} , [Ellen]_113-ellen hastily traversed [the little garden]_{379-the little garden} , and entered [a narrow lane]_{380-a narrow lane} , leading to [[Mr. Myrvin]_{74-mr. myrvin} 's dwelling]_{381-mr. myrvin 's dwelling} . [Her]_113-ellen little heart was swelling high within [her]_113-ellen , and the confinement [she]_113-ellen had endured , the constant control [she]_113-ellen exercised for fear [she]_113-ellen should add to [[her]_113-ellen mother]_{345-her mother} 's irritation , combined with the extreme delicacy of natural constitution , had so weakened [her]_113-ellen , as to render the slightest exertion painful . [She]_113-ellen had been so often reproved as fretful and ill - tempered , whenever in tears , that [she]_113-ellen always checked and concealed them . [She]_113-ellen had been so frequently told that [she]_113-ellen did not know what affection was , that [she]_113-ellen was so inanimate and cold , that though [she]_113-ellen did not understand the actual meaning of the words , [she]_113-ellen believed [she]_113-ellen was different to [any one else]_{383-any one else} , and was unhappy without knowing why . Compared with [[her]_113-ellen brother]_{384-her brother} , [she]_113-ellen certainly was neither [a pretty nor an engaging child]_{385-a pretty nor an engaging child} . Weakly from [her]_113-ellen birth , [her]_113-ellen residence in [India]_7-india had increased constitutional delicacy , and while to a watchful eye the expression of [her]_113-ellen countenance denoted constant suffering , [the heedless and superficial observer]_{386-the heedless and superficial observer} would condemn it as peevishness , and so unnatural to [a young child]_{387-a young child} , that nothing but confirmed ill - temper could have produced it . The soft , beautifully - formed black eye was too large for [her]_113-ellen other features , and the sallowness of [her]_113-ellen complexion , the heavy tresses of very dark hair , caused [her]_113-ellen to be remarked as [a very plain child]_{388-a very plain child} , which in reality [she]_113-ellen was not . [Accustomed to hear beauty extolled above every thing else]_{389-accustomed to hear beauty extolled above every thing else} , beholding it in [[her]_113-ellen mother]_{345-her mother} and [brother]_391-brother , and imagining it was [Edward]_76-edward 's great beauty that always made [him]_76-edward so beloved and petted , [an evil - disposed child]_{392-an evil - disposed child} would have felt nothing but envy and dislike toward [him]_76-edward . But [Ellen]_113-ellen felt neither . [She]_113-ellen loved [him]_76-edward devotedly ; but that [any one]_{393-any one} could love [her]_113-ellen , now that [the only one who ever had]_{394-the only one who ever had} — [[her]_113-ellen idolized father]_{395-her idolized father} — was dead , [she]_113-ellen thought impossible . Why [her]_113-ellen heart and temples beat so quickly as [she]_113-ellen left [[[her]_113-ellen mother]_{345-her mother} 's room]_{377-her mother 's room} — why the promise [she]_113-ellen had so lately made should so cling to [her]_113-ellen mind , that even [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} 's arrival could not remove it — why [she]_113-ellen felt so giddy and weak as to render walking painful , [the poor child]_{399-the poor child} could not have told , but , unable at length to go farther , [she]_113-ellen sat down on [a grassy bank]_{400-a grassy bank} , and believing [herself]_113-ellen quite alone , cried bitterly . Several minutes passed and [she]_113-ellen did not look up , till a well - known voice inquired : — " [Dear Ellen]_113-ellen , what is the matter ? What has happened to grieve [you]_113-ellen so to - day ? wo n't [you]_113-ellen tell [me]_113-ellen ? "_[113-ellen] " Indeed , indeed , [I]_{402-a fine lad of sixteen} do not know , [dear Arthur]_{84-arthur hamilton} ; [I]_{402-a fine lad of sixteen} only feel — feel — as if [I]_{402-a fine lad of sixteen} had not so much strength as [I]_{402-a fine lad of sixteen} had a few days ago — and , and [I]_{402-a fine lad of sixteen} could not help crying . "_{[402-a fine lad of sixteen]} " [You]_113-ellen are not well , [Ellen]_113-ellen , "_{[401-her companion]} replied [[her]_113-ellen companion]_{401-her companion} , [a fine lad of sixteen]_{402-a fine lad of sixteen} , and [[Mr. Myrvin]_{74-mr. myrvin} 's only son]_{403-mr. myrvin 's only son} . " [You]_113-ellen are looking paler than [I]_{74-mr. myrvin} ever saw [you]_113-ellen before ; let [me]_{74-mr. myrvin} call [[my]_{74-mr. myrvin} father]_{3451-my father} . [You]_113-ellen know [he]_{3451-my father} is always pleased when [he]_{3451-my father} sees [you]_113-ellen , and [he]_{3451-my father} hoped [you]_113-ellen would have been to [us]_3460-us before to - day ; come with [me]_{74-mr. myrvin} to [him]_{3451-my father} now . "_{[74-mr. myrvin]} " No , [Arthur]_{84-arthur hamilton} , indeed [I]_404-i can not ; [he]_{3451-my father} will think [I]_404-i have forgotten all [he]_{3451-my father} said to [me]_404-i the last time [I]_404-i saw [him]_{3451-my father} , and , indeed , [I]_404-i have not — but [I]_404-i — [I]_404-i do not know what is the matter with [me]_404-i to - day . "_[404-i] And , in spite of all [her]_404-i efforts to restrain [them]_405-them , the tears would burst forth afresh ; and [Arthur]_{84-arthur hamilton} , finding all [his]_{84-arthur hamilton} efforts at consolation ineffectual , contented [himself]_{84-arthur hamilton} with putting [his]_{84-arthur hamilton} arm round [her]_404-i and kissing [them]_405-them away . A few minutes afterward [[his]_{84-arthur hamilton} father]_{406-his father} appeared . " In tears , [[my]_{406-his father} dear [Ellen]_113-ellen]_{3461-my dear ellen} ! "_{[406-his father]} [he]_{406-his father} said , kindly ; " [[your]_113-ellen mother]_{3462-your mother} is not worse , [I]_{406-his father} hope ? "_{[406-his father]} " [I]_{346-the child} do not know , [sir]_3463-sir , "_{[346-the child]} replied [the child]_{346-the child} , as well as [her]_404-i tears would permit ; " [she]_{3462-your mother} has been very ill just now , for [her]_{3462-your mother} faint was longer than usual . "_{[406-his father]} " Did any thing particular occasion it ? "_{[406-his father]} " [I]_{406-his father} think it was seeing [[my]_{406-his father} aunt]_{3424-my aunt} . [Mamma]_80-mamma was very much agitated before and afterward . "_{[406-his father]} " [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} has arrived then ! [I]_{74-mr. myrvin} am rejoiced to hear it , "_{[74-mr. myrvin]} replied [Mr. Myrvin]_{74-mr. myrvin} , gladly . Then sitting down by [Ellen]_113-ellen , [he]_{406-his father} took one of [her]_113-ellen hands in [his]_{406-his father} , and said , kindly , " Something has grieved [[my]_{406-his father} little girl]_{3465-my little girl} this evening ; [I]_{406-his father} will not ask what it is , because [you]_113-ellen may not like to tell [me]_{406-his father} ; but [you]_113-ellen must not imagine evils , [Ellen]_113-ellen . [I]_{406-his father} know [you]_113-ellen have done , and are doing , the duty of [a good , affectionate child]_{3466-a good , affectionate child} , nursing [[your]_113-ellen suffering mother]_{3467-your suffering mother} , bearing with intervals of impatience , which [her]_{3467-your suffering mother} invalid state occasions , and giving up all [your]_113-ellen own wishes to sit quietly by [her]_{3467-your suffering mother} . [I]_{406-his father} have not seen [you]_113-ellen , [[my]_{406-his father} child]_{3468-my child} , but [I]_{406-his father} know [those who have]_{3469-those who have} , and this has pleased [me]_{406-his father} , and , what is of much more consequence , it proves [you]_113-ellen have not forgotten all [I]_{406-his father} told [you]_113-ellen of [[your]_113-ellen Father]_{3470-your father} in [Heaven]_8-heaven , that [even a little child]_{3471-even a little child} can try to love and serve [Him]_{3470-your father} . "_{[406-his father]} " But have [you]_{406-his father} not told [me]_113-ellen [those who are good]_{3472-those who are good} are always happy ? "_[113-ellen] inquired [Ellen]_113-ellen ; " then [I]_113-ellen can not be good , though indeed [I]_113-ellen try to be so , for [I]_113-ellen do not think [I]_113-ellen am happy , for [I]_113-ellen can never laugh and sing and talk as [Edward]_76-edward does . "_[113-ellen] " [You]_113-ellen are not in such strong health as [[your]_113-ellen brother]_{3473-your brother} , [[my]_{406-his father} dear little girl]_{3474-my dear little girl} , and [you]_113-ellen have had many things to make [you]_113-ellen unhappy , which [Edward]_76-edward has not . But [you]_113-ellen must try and remember that even if it please [God]_85-god that sometimes [you]_113-ellen should be more sorrowful than [other children]_{3475-other children} , [He]_85-god loves [you]_113-ellen notwithstanding . [I]_{406-his father} am sure [you]_113-ellen have not forgotten the story of [Joseph]_86-joseph that [I]_{406-his father} told [you]_113-ellen a few Sundays ago . [God]_85-god so loved [him]_86-joseph , as to give [him]_86-joseph the power of foretelling future events , and enabling [him]_86-joseph to do a great deal of good , but when [he]_86-joseph was taken away from [[his]_86-joseph father]_{406-his father} and sold as [a slave]_{3477-a slave} and cast into prison among [cruel strangers]_{3478-cruel strangers} , [he]_86-joseph could not have been very happy , [Ellen]_113-ellen . Yet still , young as [he]_86-joseph was , little more than [a child]_{265-a child} in those days , and thrown among [those who did not know right from wrong]_{3480-those who did not know right from wrong} , [he]_86-joseph remembered all that [[his]_86-joseph father]_{406-his father} had taught [him]_86-joseph , and prayed to [God]_85-god , and tried to love and obey [Him]_86-joseph ; and [God]_85-god was pleased with [him]_86-joseph , and gave [him]_86-joseph grace to continue good , and at last so blessed [him]_86-joseph , as to permit [him]_86-joseph to see [[his]_86-joseph dear father]_{3482-his dear father} and [darling brother]_{3483-darling brother} again . "_{[406-his father]} " But [Joseph]_86-joseph was [[his]_86-joseph father]_{406-his father} 's favorite child , "_[113-ellen] was [Ellen]_113-ellen 's sole rejoinder ; and the tears which were checked in the eagerness with which [she]_113-ellen had listened , seemed again ready to burst forth . " [He]_86-joseph must have been happy when [he]_86-joseph thought of that . "_[113-ellen] " [I]_{74-mr. myrvin} do not think so , [[my]_{74-mr. myrvin} dear]_{3485-my dear} [Ellen]_113-ellen , "_{[74-mr. myrvin]} replied [Mr. Myrvin]_{74-mr. myrvin} , more moved than [he]_{74-mr. myrvin} chose to betray , " for being [[his]_86-joseph father]_{406-his father} 's favorite first excited the dislike and envy of [[his]_86-joseph brothers]_{3487-his brothers} , and caused [them]_{3487-his brothers} to wish to send [him]_86-joseph away . There was no excuse indeed for [their]_{3487-his brothers} conduct ; but perhaps if [Joseph]_86-joseph had always remained near [[his]_86-joseph father]_{406-his father} [he]_86-joseph might have been spoiled by too great indulgence , and never become as good as [he]_86-joseph afterward was . Perhaps in [[his]_86-joseph solitary prison]_{3489-his solitary prison} [he]_86-joseph might even have regretted that [[his]_86-joseph father]_{406-his father} had not treated [them]_{3487-his brothers} all alike , as then the angry feelings of [[his]_86-joseph brothers]_{3487-his brothers} would not have been called forth . So [you]_3492-you see , being a favorite will not always make [us]_3493-we happy , [Ellen]_113-ellen . It is indeed very delightful to be loved and caressed , and if [we]_3493-we try to do [our]_3493-we duty and love as much as [we]_3493-we can , even if [we]_3493-we are not sure of being loved at first , [we]_3493-we may be quite certain that [we]_3493-we shall be loved and happy at last . Do [you]_3492-you understand [me]_{74-mr. myrvin} , [[my]_{74-mr. myrvin} child]_{3468-my child} ? "_{[74-mr. myrvin]} The question was almost needless , for [Ellen]_113-ellen 's large eyes had never moved from [his]_408-his face , and their expression was so full of intelligence and meaning , that the whole countenance seemed lighted up . " Then do [you]_408-his think [mamma]_3420-mamma will recover ? "_[113-ellen] [she]_113-ellen eagerly exclaimed ; " will [she]_3420-mamma ever love [me?—oh]_408-his , if [I]_113-ellen thought so , [I]_113-ellen could never , never be naughty again ! "_[113-ellen] " [She]_3420-mamma will love [you]_3492-you , [[my]_{74-mr. myrvin} dear]_{3485-my dear} [Ellen]_113-ellen , "_{[74-mr. myrvin]} replied [Mr. Myrvin]_{74-mr. myrvin} , now visibly affected , " [I]_{74-mr. myrvin} can not , [I]_{74-mr. myrvin} dare not tell [you]_3492-you that [she]_3420-mamma will recover to love [you]_3492-you on [earth]_3497-earth , but if indeed it be [God]_85-god 's will that [she]_3420-mamma should go to [Him]_85-god , [she]_3420-mamma will look down on [you]_3492-you from Heaven and love [you]_3492-you far more than [she]_3420-mamma has done yet , for [she]_3420-mamma will know then how much [you]_3492-you love [her]_3420-mamma . "_{[74-mr. myrvin]} " And will [she]_3420-mamma know if [I]_113-ellen do all [she]_3420-mamma wishes — if [I]_113-ellen love and help [Edward]_76-edward ? "_[113-ellen] asked [Ellen]_113-ellen , in a low , half - frightened voice ; and little did [Mr. Myrvin]_{74-mr. myrvin} imagine how vividly and how indelibly [his]_{74-mr. myrvin} reply was registered in [the child]_{346-the child} 's memory . " It is a question none can answer positively , [Ellen]_113-ellen , but it is [my]_{74-mr. myrvin} own firm belief , that [the beloved ones [we]_3499-us have lost]_{3498-the beloved ones we have lost} are permitted to watch over and love [us]_3499-us still , and that [they]_{3498-the beloved ones we have lost} see [us]_3499-us , and are often near [us]_3499-us , though [we]_3499-us can not see [them]_{3498-the beloved ones we have lost} . But even to help [Edward]_76-edward , "_{[74-mr. myrvin]} [he]_{74-mr. myrvin} continued somewhat anxiously , " [you]_76-edward must not be tempted — "_{[74-mr. myrvin]} [He]_{74-mr. myrvin} was interrupted by the appearance of [a stranger]_{410-a stranger} , who addressing [him]_{74-mr. myrvin} courteously , apologized for [his]_{74-mr. myrvin} intrusion , and noticing [the children]_{411-the children} , inquired if both were [his]_{74-mr. myrvin} . [Mr. Myrvin]_{74-mr. myrvin} replied that [he]_{74-mr. myrvin} could only lay claim to one ; [the little girl]_{412-the little girl} was [Miss Fortescue]_{87-miss fortescue} . " And [my]_{74-mr. myrvin} name is [Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , so [I]_{74-mr. myrvin} think [I]_{74-mr. myrvin} have [an uncle]_{3500-an uncle} 's privilege , "_{[74-mr. myrvin]} was the reply ; and [Ellen]_113-ellen , to [her]_113-ellen astonishment , received an affectionate embrace from [the unknown relative , whom [[her]_113-ellen mother]_{345-her mother} 's ill - judged words had taught [her]_113-ellen actually to dread]_{413-the unknown relative , whom her mother 's ill - judged words had taught her actually to dread} . [Mr. Myrvin]_{74-mr. myrvin} gladly welcomed [him]_{413-the unknown relative , whom her mother 's ill - judged words had taught her actually to dread} , and , in the interest of the conversation which followed , forgot the lesson [he]_{74-mr. myrvin} had been so anxious to impress upon [Ellen]_113-ellen . [Arthur]_{84-arthur hamilton} accompanied [her]_113-ellen to the garden gate , and [the gentlemen]_{415-the gentlemen} soon afterward entered [the cottage]_{301-the cottage} together . Days merged into weeks , and still [Mrs. Fortescue]_{73-mrs. fortescue} lingered ; but [her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} weakness increasing so painfully from alternate fever and exhaustion that to remove [her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} was impossible . It was the first time that [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had ever been separated from [[her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} children]_{322-her children} , and there were [many disagreeables attendant on nursing [a beloved invalid]_{419-a beloved invalid} in [that confined cottage]_{420-that confined cottage}]_{418-many disagreeables attendant on nursing a beloved invalid in that confined cottage} ; and with only those little luxuries and comforts that could be procured ( and even these were obtained with difficulty , for [the nearest town]_{272-the nearest town} was twenty miles distant ) , but not a selfish or repining thought entered [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's mind . It was filled with thankfulness , not only that [she]_113-ellen was permitted thus to tend [a sister , whom neither error , nor absence , nor silence]_{422-a sister , whom neither error , nor absence , nor silence} could estrange from [her]_113-ellen heart , but that [she]_113-ellen was spared long enough for [her]_113-ellen gentle influence and enduring love to have some effect in changing [her]_113-ellen train of thought , calming that fearful irritability , and by slow degrees permitting [her]_113-ellen to look with resignation and penitent hope to that hour which no human effort could avert . That [Mr. Myrvin]_{74-mr. myrvin} should seek [[Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's society]_{423-mrs. hamilton 's society} and delight in conversing with [her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} , [Mrs. Fortescue]_{73-mrs. fortescue} considered so perfectly natural , that the conversations which took place in [[her]_113-ellen sick room]_{424-her sick room} , whenever [she]_113-ellen was strong enough to bear them , excited neither surprise nor impatience . Different as [she]_113-ellen was , willfully as [she]_113-ellen had always neglected the mild counsels and example of [[her]_113-ellen sister]_{325-her sister} , the years of separation and but too often excited self - reproach had fully awakened [her]_113-ellen to [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's superiority . [She]_113-ellen had never found any one at all like [her]_113-ellen — so good and holy , yet so utterly unassuming ; and the strong affection , even the deep emotion in one usually so controlled , with which [[her]_113-ellen sister]_{325-her sister} had met [her]_113-ellen , naturally increased these feelings . " Ah , [you]_{74-mr. myrvin} and [Emmeline]_78-emmeline will find much to converse about , "_[113-ellen] had been [her]_113-ellen address to [Mr. Myrvin]_{74-mr. myrvin} , on [his]_{74-mr. myrvin} first introduction to [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} . " Talk as much as [you]_{74-mr. myrvin} please , and do not mind [me]_113-ellen . With [Emmeline]_78-emmeline near [me]_113-ellen , [I]_113-ellen can restrain irritability which must have frightened [you]_{74-mr. myrvin} away . [I]_113-ellen know [she]_78-emmeline is right . Oh , would to [God]_85-god [I]_113-ellen had always been like [her]_78-emmeline ! "_[113-ellen] and the suffering betrayed in the last words was a painful contrast with the lightness of [her]_113-ellen previous tone . [Mr. Myrvin]_{74-mr. myrvin} answered soothingly , and for the first time [his]_{74-mr. myrvin} words were patiently received . From listening listlessly , [Mrs. Fortescue]_{73-mrs. fortescue} , by slow degrees , became interested in the conversations between [him]_{74-mr. myrvin} and [Mr.]_427-mr. and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , and so a change in sentiments was gradually wrought , which by any other and harsher method of proceeding would have been sought for in vain . One evening as [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} sat watching the faded countenance of [[her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} patient]_{428-her patient} , and recalling those days of youth and buoyancy , when it seemed as if neither death nor care could ever have assailed [one so bright and lovely]_{429-one so bright and lovely} , [Edward]_76-edward , before [he]_76-edward sought [his]_76-edward favorite stream , threw [his]_76-edward arms round [her]_113-ellen neck , and pressed [his]_76-edward rosy lips on [her]_113-ellen cheek , as thus to wish [her]_113-ellen good - by . " [He]_76-edward will repay [you]_76-edward for all [your]_76-edward care , [dearest [Emmeline]_78-emmeline]_{3501-dearest emmeline} , "_{[330-his mother]} [[his]_76-edward mother]_{330-his mother} said , with a heavy sigh , as [he]_76-edward left [the room]_{356-the room} ; " [I]_{330-his mother} know [he]_76-edward has what [you]_76-edward and [[your]_76-edward husband]_{3454-your husband} will think faults , but , oh , for [my]_{330-his mother} sake , do not treat [him]_76-edward harshly ; [his]_76-edward noble spirit will be broken if [you]_76-edward do ! "_{[330-his mother]} " [Dearest Eleanor]_{82-dearest eleanor} , dismiss all such fears . Am [I]_{330-his mother} not [a mother]_{3503-a mother} equally with [yourself]_76-edward ? and do [you]_76-edward think when [[your]_76-edward children]_{3504-your children} become [mine]_{330-his mother} [I]_{330-his mother} shall show any difference between [them]_{3504-your children} and [my]_{330-his mother} own ? [You]_76-edward would trust [me]_{330-his mother} even in former years , surely [you]_76-edward will trust [me]_{330-his mother} now ? "_{[330-his mother]} " Indeed , indeed , [I]_{330-his mother} do ; [you]_76-edward were always kind and forbearing with [me]_{330-his mother} , when [I]_{330-his mother} little deserved it . But [[my]_{330-his mother} poor [Edward]_76-edward]_{3505-my poor edward} , it is so hard to part with [him]_76-edward , and [he]_76-edward loves [me]_{330-his mother} so fondly ! "_{[330-his mother]} and a few natural tears stole down [her]_432-her cheek . " And [he]_76-edward shall continue to love [you]_76-edward dearest [Eleanor]_{82-dearest eleanor} ; and oh , believe [me]_{330-his mother} , all that [you]_76-edward have been to [him]_76-edward [I]_{330-his mother} will be . [I]_{330-his mother} have won the devoted affection of all [[my]_{330-his mother} own darlings]_{3506-my own darlings} , and [I]_{330-his mother} do not fear to gain the love of [yours]_76-edward ; and then it will be an easy task to make [them]_{3506-my own darlings} happy as [my]_{330-his mother} own . "_{[330-his mother]} " [Edward]_76-edward 's love [you]_76-edward will very quickly obtain , if it be not [yours]_76-edward already ; but [Ellen]_113-ellen [you]_76-edward will have more trouble with . [She]_113-ellen is [a strange , cold , unlovable child]_{3507-a strange , cold , unlovable child} . "_{[330-his mother]} " Are the dispositions of [[your]_76-edward children]_{3504-your children} so unlike ? [I]_{330-his mother} should not have fancied [Ellen]_113-ellen cold ; [she]_113-ellen is timid , but that [I]_{330-his mother} thought would wear off when [she]_113-ellen knew [me]_{330-his mother} better . "_{[330-his mother]} " It is not timidity ; [I]_{330-his mother} never knew [her]_113-ellen otherwise than cold and reserved from [her]_113-ellen birth . [I]_{330-his mother} never could feel the same toward [her]_113-ellen as [I]_{330-his mother} did toward [Edward]_76-edward , and therefore there must be something in [Ellen]_113-ellen to prevent it . "_{[330-his mother]} [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} did not think so , but [she]_433-she answered gently , " Are [you]_76-edward quite sure , [[my]_433-she dear]_{3485-my dear} [Eleanor]_{82-dearest eleanor} , that [you]_76-edward have equally studied the characters of both [[your]_76-edward children]_{3504-your children} ? because [you]_76-edward know there are some cases which require more study and carefulness than others . "_[433-she] " [I]_{73-mrs. fortescue} never was fond of studying any thing , [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , as [you]_76-edward may remember , "_{[73-mrs. fortescue]} replied [Mrs. Fortescue]_{73-mrs. fortescue} , painfully trying to smile , " and therefore [I]_{73-mrs. fortescue} dare say [I]_{73-mrs. fortescue} have not studied [[my]_{73-mrs. fortescue} children]_{3511-my children} as [you]_76-edward have [yours]_76-edward . Besides , [you]_76-edward know [I]_{73-mrs. fortescue} always thought , and still think , the doctrine of [mothers]_3512-mothers forming the characters of [[their]_3512-mothers children]_{3513-their children} , and all that [good people]_{3514-good people} say about the importance of early impressions , perfectly ridiculous . The disposition for good or bad , loving or unloving , is theirs from the moment of [their]_{3504-your children} birth , and what human efforts can alter that ? Why , the very infancy of [[my]_{73-mrs. fortescue} children]_{3511-my children} was different ; [Edward]_76-edward was always laughing , and animated , and happy ; [Ellen]_113-ellen fretful and peevish , and so heavy that [she]_113-ellen never seemed even to know when [I]_{73-mrs. fortescue} entered [the room]_{356-the room} , while [Edward]_76-edward would spring into [my]_{73-mrs. fortescue} arms , and shout and laugh only to see [me]_{73-mrs. fortescue} . Now what conduct on [my]_{73-mrs. fortescue} part could have done this ? Surely [I]_{73-mrs. fortescue} was justified in feeling differently toward such opposite dispositions ; and [I]_{73-mrs. fortescue} know [I]_{73-mrs. fortescue} never made more difference between [them]_3517-them than — than papa did between [us]_3518-us , [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , and [I]_{73-mrs. fortescue} have had greater reason to be partial ; [you]_78-emmeline were always better than [I]_{73-mrs. fortescue} was . "_{[73-mrs. fortescue]} [She]_434-she ceased , from exhaustion , but the flush which had risen to [her]_434-she temples , and the trembling hands evinced the agitation always called for by the mention of [[her]_434-she father]_{435-her father} , which [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , with earnest tenderness , endeavored to soothe . " [I]_434-she must speak , [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , "_[434-she] [she]_434-she continued , natural impetuosity for the moment regaining ascendency ; " how did [I]_436-she repay [[my]_436-she fond father]_{3519-my fond father} 's partiality ? [his]_{3519-my fond father} too great indulgence ? Did [I]_436-she not bring down [his]_{3519-my fond father} gray hairs with sorrow to the grave ? Did [I]_436-she not throw shame and misery upon [him]_{3519-my fond father} by [my]_436-she conduct to [the ill - fated one [he]_{3519-my fond father} had chosen for [[my]_436-she husband]_{3521-my husband}]_{3520-the ill - fated one he had chosen for my husband} ? Did [I]_436-she not?—oh , [[my]_436-she God]_{3522-my god} , [[my]_436-she God]_{3522-my god} ! [Death]_88-death may indeed be merciful!—my [Edward]_76-edward might do the same by [me]_436-she ! "_[436-she] and , shuddering violently , [she]_436-she hid [her]_436-she face on [[her]_436-she sister]_{325-her sister} 's bosom . It was long before [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} could calm that fearful agitation , long before [her]_436-she whispered words of heavenly hope , and peace , and pardon — if indeed [she]_436-she believed — could bring comfort ; but [they]_438-they did at length , and such fearful paroxysms returned at longer and longer intervals , and at length ceased , in the deep submission and clinging trust to which [she]_436-she was at last permitted to attain . Though [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} was detained six weeks at [Llangwillan]_{4-llangwillan} , [her]_436-she devoted attendance on [[her]_436-she sister]_{325-her sister} prevented any thing more than occasional observation of [the children]_{411-the children} so soon about to be committed to [her]_436-she care . That [Edward]_76-edward was most engaging , and riveted [her]_436-she affection at once , and that [Ellen]_113-ellen was unlike [any child [she]_436-she had ever known or seen]_{441-any child she had ever known or seen} , [she]_436-she could not but feel , but [she]_436-she was not one to decide on a mere feeling . [Her]_436-she present mournful task prevented all actual interference with [them]_{411-the children} , except the endeavor by kindly notice to win [their]_{411-the children} confidence and love . [[His]_76-edward mother]_{330-his mother} 's illness and [[his]_76-edward uncle]_{443-his uncle} 's presence , besides , for the present , [his]_76-edward perfect freedom with regard to employment , had deprived [Edward]_76-edward of all inclination to rebel or exert [his]_76-edward self - will , and [Mr.]_444-mr. and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} both felt that [he]_76-edward certainly had fewer faults , than was generally the consequence of unlimited indulgence . Whether [Ellen]_113-ellen 's extreme attention to [[her]_113-ellen mother]_{345-her mother} , [her]_113-ellen silent but ever ready help when [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} required it , proceeded from mere cold duty , or really had its origin in affection , [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} could not satisfactorily decide . [[Her]_436-she sister]_{325-her sister} had avowed partiality , but that neglect and unkindness could have been shown to such an extent by [a mother]_{3503-a mother} as to create the cold exterior [she]_436-she beheld , was so utterly incomprehensible , so opposed to every dictate of maternal love , which [she]_436-she knew so well , that [she]_436-she actually could not even imagine it . [She]_436-she could believe in the possibility of a preference for [one child]_{449-one child} more than another , but not in utter neglect and actual dislike . [She]_436-she could imagine that [Ellen]_113-ellen 's love for [[her]_113-ellen mother]_{345-her mother} might be less warm than [Edward]_76-edward 's , believing , as [she]_436-she did , that [a parent]_{451-a parent} must call for [a child]_{265-a child} 's affection , not be satisfied with leaving all to Nature ; but if it were not love that dictated [Ellen]_113-ellen 's conduct , it was strange and almost unnatural , and so unpleasing , that [so young a child]_{453-so young a child} should have such an idea of duty . But these were only passing thoughts ; cost what trouble it might , [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} determined [she]_436-she would understand [[her]_436-she niece]_{372-her niece} as [she]_436-she did [[her]_436-she own children]_{455-her own children} . But though to [[her]_436-she [Ellen]_113-ellen]_{456-her ellen} was a riddle , to [[her]_436-she sister]_{325-her sister} Nature was resuming [her]_436-she sway , too late , alas ! for all , save [the mother]_{458-the mother} 's own reproaches . [Her]_{458-the mother} weakness had become such that days would pass when speech , save a few whispered words , was impossible ; but [she]_{458-the mother} would gaze upon [[her]_{458-the mother} child]_{350-her child} , as hour after hour [she]_{458-the mother} would sit by the bed , resisting all [Edward]_76-edward 's entreaties , and sometimes even [[her]_{458-the mother} aunt]_{367-her aunt} 's to go and play , and long to fold [her]_{350-her child} to [her]_{350-her child} heart , and confess [she]_{350-her child} had been cruelly unjust , and that [she]_{350-her child} did love [her]_{350-her child} now almost as much as [Edward]_76-edward , but [she]_{350-her child} was much too weak to do more than feel . And [Ellen]_113-ellen remained unconscious of the change , except that now and then , as [she]_113-ellen would bring [her]_113-ellen nourishment or bend over to bathe [her]_113-ellen forehead , [[her]_113-ellen mother]_{345-her mother} would , as if involuntarily , kiss [her]_113-ellen cheek and murmur some caressing word . And [Ellen]_113-ellen longed to cling to [her]_113-ellen neck and say how much [she]_113-ellen loved [her]_113-ellen , but [she]_113-ellen did not dare and [she]_113-ellen would hurry out of [the room]_{356-the room} to conceal [her]_113-ellen tears , instead of returning the caress , thus unhappily confirming the idea of natural coldness . Even the comfort of sitting by [[her]_113-ellen mother]_{345-her mother} was at length denied [her]_113-ellen . [Mrs. Fortescue]_{73-mrs. fortescue} became so alarmingly and painfully ill , that [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} felt it an unnecessary trial for [[her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} children]_{322-her children} to witness it , especially as [they]_{322-her children} could be no comfort to [her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} , for [she]_{73-mrs. fortescue} did not know [them]_{322-her children} . The evening of the fourth day [she]_{73-mrs. fortescue} recovered sufficiently to partake of the sacrament with [[her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} sister]_{325-her sister} and [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , and then entreat that [[her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} children]_{322-her children} might be brought to [her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} . [She]_{73-mrs. fortescue} felt [herself]_{73-mrs. fortescue} , what [the physician]_{467-the physician} had imparted to [[her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} sister]_{325-her sister} , that the recovery of [her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} senses would in all human probability be followed in a few hours by death , and [her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} last thoughts were on [them]_469-them . [Edward]_76-edward , full of glee at being permitted to see [her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} again , bounded joyfully into [the room]_{356-the room} , but the fearful change in that beloved face so startled and terrified [him]_76-edward , that [he]_76-edward uttered a loud cry , and throwing [himself]_76-edward beside [her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} , sobbed upon [her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} bosom . [Mrs. Fortescue]_{73-mrs. fortescue} was fearfully agitated , but [she]_{73-mrs. fortescue} conjured [[her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} sister]_{325-her sister} not to take [him]_76-edward from [her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} , and [her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} heavy eyes wandered painfully round [the room]_{356-the room} in search of [Ellen]_113-ellen . " Come to [me]_{73-mrs. fortescue} , [Ellen]_113-ellen , [I]_{73-mrs. fortescue} have done [you]_113-ellen injustice , [[my]_{73-mrs. fortescue} sweet child]_{3524-my sweet child} , "_{[73-mrs. fortescue]} [she]_{73-mrs. fortescue} murmured in a voice that [Ellen]_113-ellen never in [her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} life forgot , and [she]_{73-mrs. fortescue} clung to [her]_113-ellen in silent agony . " [I]_{73-mrs. fortescue} have not done [my]_{73-mrs. fortescue} duty to [you]_113-ellen , [I]_{73-mrs. fortescue} know — [I]_{73-mrs. fortescue} feel [I]_{73-mrs. fortescue} have not , and it is too late now to atone . [I]_{73-mrs. fortescue} can only pray [God]_85-god to bless [you]_113-ellen , and raise [you]_113-ellen up [a kinder parent]_{3525-a kinder parent} than [I]_{73-mrs. fortescue} have been ! Bless , bless [you]_113-ellen both . "_{[73-mrs. fortescue]} Faintness overpowered [her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} , and [she]_{73-mrs. fortescue} lay for several minutes powerless , in [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's arms . [Edward]_76-edward , in passionate grief , refused to stir from the bed ; and [Ellen]_113-ellen , almost unconsciously , sunk on [her]_113-ellen knees by [Mr. Myrvin]_{74-mr. myrvin} . " [[My]_113-ellen own sister]_{3526-my own sister} , bless [you]_113-ellen — for all [you]_113-ellen have been to [me]_113-ellen — all [you]_113-ellen will be to [[my]_113-ellen children]_{3511-my children} — may [they]_{3511-my children} repay [you]_113-ellen better than [I]_113-ellen have done , [Emmeline]_78-emmeline ! [You]_113-ellen are right , there is but one hope , [[our]_3528-our Saviour]_{3529-our saviour} , for [the sinner]_{3530-the sinner} — it is [mine]_113-ellen — "_[113-ellen] were the broken sentences that , in a voice which was scarcely audible , and uttered at long intervals , escaped [Mrs. Fortescue]_{73-mrs. fortescue} 's lips , and then [her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} head sunk lower on [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's bosom , and there was a long , long silence , broken only by [Edward]_76-edward 's low and half - suffocated sobs . And [he]_76-edward knew not , guessed not , the grief that was impending . [He]_76-edward only felt that [[his]_76-edward mother]_{330-his mother} was worse , not better , as [he]_76-edward had believed [she]_{330-his mother} would and must be , when [[his]_76-edward aunt]_{365-his aunt} arrived . [He]_76-edward had never seen death , though [Ellen]_113-ellen had and [he]_76-edward had passionately and willfully refused either to listen or to believe in [[his]_76-edward uncle]_{443-his uncle} 's and [Mr. Myrvin]_{74-mr. myrvin} 's gentle attempts to prepare [him]_76-edward for [his]_76-edward loss . Terrified at the continued silence , at the cold heavy feel of [[his]_76-edward mother]_{330-his mother} 's hand , as , when [Mr. Myrvin]_{74-mr. myrvin} and [the widow]_{477-the widow} gently removed [her]_{330-his mother} from the still - supporting arm of [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , it fell against [his]_76-edward , [he]_76-edward started up , and clinging to [[his]_76-edward aunt]_{365-his aunt} , implored [her]_{365-his aunt} to speak to [him]_76-edward , to tell [him]_76-edward why [[his]_76-edward mother]_{330-his mother} looked so strange and white , [her]_{330-his mother} hand felt so cold , and why [she]_{330-his mother} would not speak to and kiss [him]_76-edward , as [she]_{330-his mother} always did , when [he]_76-edward was grieved . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} raised [her]_{330-his mother} head from [[her]_{330-his mother} husband]_{340-her husband} 's shoulder , and struggling with [her]_{330-his mother} own deep sorrow , [she]_{330-his mother} drew [[her]_{330-his mother} orphan nephew]_{481-her orphan nephew} closer to [her]_{330-his mother} , and said , in a low , earnest voice , " [[My]_{330-his mother} [Edward]_76-edward]_{3531-my edward} , did [you]_76-edward not hear [[your]_76-edward mother]_{3462-your mother} pray [God]_85-god to bless [you]_76-edward ? "_{[330-his mother]} [The child]_{346-the child} looked at [her]_{330-his mother} inquiringly . " [That good God]_{3533-that good god} has taken [her]_{3462-your mother} to [Himself]_{3533-that good god} , [[my]_{346-the child} love]_{3456-my love} ; [He]_{3533-that good god} has thought it better to remove [her]_{3462-your mother} from [us]_3535-us , and take [her]_{3462-your mother} where [she]_{3462-your mother} will never know pain nor illness more . "_{[346-the child]} " But [she]_{3462-your mother} is lying there , "_[76-edward] whispered [Edward]_76-edward , in a frightened voice , and half hiding [his]_76-edward face in [[his]_76-edward aunt]_{365-his aunt} 's dress , " [she]_{3462-your mother} is not taken away . Why will [she]_{3462-your mother} not speak to [me]_76-edward ? "_[76-edward] " [She]_{3462-your mother} can not speak , [[my]_{346-the child} sweet boy]_{3536-my sweet boy} ! the soul which enabled [her]_{3462-your mother} to speak , and smile , and live , was [God]_85-god 's gift , and it has pleased [Him]_{3533-that good god} to recall it . "_{[346-the child]} " And will [she]_{3462-your mother} never , never speak to [me]_76-edward again ? will [she]_{3462-your mother} never kiss [me]_76-edward — never call [me]_76-edward [[her]_{3462-your mother} own darling]_{3537-her own darling} , beautiful [Edward]_76-edward again ? "_[76-edward] [he]_76-edward almost screamed in passionate grief , as the truth at length forced itself upon [him]_76-edward . " [Mamma]_80-mamma , [mamma]_3420-mamma , [[my]_76-edward own dear]_{3539-my own dear} , pretty , good mamma , oh ! do not go away from [me]_76-edward — or let [me]_76-edward go with [you]_80-mamma — let [me]_76-edward die too ; [no one]_{3540-no one} will love [me]_76-edward and kiss [me]_76-edward as [you]_80-mamma have done . "_[76-edward] And even the natural awe and terror of death gave way before [his]_76-edward grief ; [he]_76-edward clung to the body of [[his]_76-edward mother]_{330-his mother} so passionately , so convulsively , that it required actual force to remove [him]_76-edward . And for hours [[his]_76-edward aunt]_{365-his aunt} and [sister]_486-sister watched over and tried to soothe and comfort [him]_76-edward in vain ; [he]_76-edward would only rouse [himself]_76-edward angrily to ask [Ellen]_113-ellen how [she]_113-ellen could know what [he]_76-edward felt ; [she]_113-ellen had never loved [[their]_487-their mother]_{488-their mother} as [he]_76-edward had — [she]_113-ellen did not know what [he]_76-edward had lost — [she]_113-ellen could not feel as [he]_76-edward did , and then relapse into tears and sobs . [Ellen]_113-ellen did not attempt reply . [She]_113-ellen thought , if it were such pain to [her]_113-ellen to lose [[her]_113-ellen mother]_{345-her mother} , who had only the last few weeks evinced affection for [her]_113-ellen , it must indeed be still more suffering to [him]_76-edward ; and though [his]_76-edward angry words grieved and hurt [her]_113-ellen ( for [she]_113-ellen knew [she]_113-ellen did love [[her]_113-ellen mother]_{345-her mother} most fondly , [her]_113-ellen idea of [her]_113-ellen own extreme inferiority acquitted [her]_113-ellen unconsciously of all injustice toward [her]_113-ellen , and made [her]_113-ellen believe that [she]_113-ellen had loved [Edward]_76-edward best only because [he]_76-edward was so much better than [herself]_113-ellen ) , [his]_76-edward very grief caused [her]_113-ellen to love and admire [him]_76-edward still more , and to believe that [she]_113-ellen really did not feel as much as [he]_76-edward did . And yet before [they]_491-they quitted [Llangwillan]_{4-llangwillan} , which [they]_491-they did the second day after [Mrs. Fortescue]_{73-mrs. fortescue} 's funeral , [Edward]_76-edward could laugh and talk as usual — except when any object recalled [[his]_76-edward mother]_{330-his mother} ; and [poor Ellen]_113-ellen felt that though [she]_113-ellen had fancied [she]_113-ellen was not happy before , [she]_113-ellen was much more unhappy now . [Her]_113-ellen fancy naturally vivid , and rendered more so from [her]_113-ellen having been left so much to [herself]_113-ellen , dwelt morbidly on all that had passed in [[her]_113-ellen mother]_{345-her mother} 's illness , on every caress , every unusual word of affection , and on [Mr. Myrvin]_{74-mr. myrvin} 's assurance that [she]_113-ellen would love [her]_{345-her mother} in Heaven ; the promise [she]_113-ellen had made to love and help [Edward]_76-edward returned to [her]_113-ellen memory again and again , and each time with the increased determination to keep it solemnly . It was not for [[her]_113-ellen mother]_{345-her mother} 's sake alone , and connected only with [her]_113-ellen ; perhaps , had it not been for the careful instructions of [[her]_113-ellen father]_{435-her father} , whom , as [we]_496-we shall presently see , [she]_113-ellen had cause almost to idolize , [Ellen]_113-ellen might have become indifferent to [[her]_113-ellen mother]_{345-her mother} and envious of [Edward]_76-edward . But [his]_{435-her father} repeated instructions , under all circumstances to love , cherish , and obey [[her]_113-ellen mother]_{345-her mother} had been indelibly engraved , and heightened natural feeling . [She]_113-ellen believed that to keep the promise , which had so evidently pleased [[her]_113-ellen mother]_{345-her mother} , would be also obeying [[her]_113-ellen father]_{435-her father} , and this double incentive gave it a weight and consequence , which , could [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} have known it , would have caused [her]_113-ellen great anxiety , and urged its removal . But [Ellen]_113-ellen had been too long accustomed to hide every thought and feeling to betray that which , child as [she]_113-ellen was , [she]_113-ellen believed sacred between [herself]_113-ellen and [[her]_113-ellen mother]_{345-her mother} . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} watched [her]_113-ellen in silence , and trusted to time and care to do [their]_502-their work ; and by enabling [her]_113-ellen to understand [her]_113-ellen character , permit [her]_113-ellen to guide it rightly . The morning of [their]_502-their intended departure was bright and sunny , and before even [widow Morgan]_{79-widow morgan} was moving , [Ellen]_113-ellen had quitted [her]_113-ellen little bed and was in [the churchyard]_{261-the churchyard} by [[[her]_113-ellen mother]_{345-her mother} 's grave]_{505-her mother 's grave} . [She]_113-ellen sat there thinking so intently , that [she]_113-ellen did not know how time passed , till [she]_113-ellen was roused by [her]_113-ellen favorite [Arthur Myrvin]_{89-arthur myrvin} 's voice . " Up so early , [Ellen]_113-ellen , why , [I]_{89-arthur myrvin} thought [I]_{89-arthur myrvin} should have been first , to show [you]_113-ellen [I]_{89-arthur myrvin} had not forgotten [my]_{89-arthur myrvin} promise . "_{[89-arthur myrvin]} And [he]_{89-arthur myrvin} displayed some choice flower - roots , which [he]_{89-arthur myrvin} commenced planting round [the grave]_{506-the grave} . " [Dear Arthur]_90-arthur , how very kind [you]_113-ellen are ; but [you]_113-ellen look so sad — what is the matter ? Does not [Mr. Myrvin]_{74-mr. myrvin} like [you]_113-ellen to do this — pray do n't , then . "_{[89-arthur myrvin]} " No , no , [Ellen]_113-ellen , [[my]_{89-arthur myrvin} father]_{3451-my father} said [I]_{89-arthur myrvin} was right , and that [he]_{89-arthur myrvin} would take care of the flowers also [himself]_{89-arthur myrvin} . [I]_{89-arthur myrvin} am only sorry [you]_113-ellen are going away , and to live so differently to what [we]_3542-we do — [you]_113-ellen will quite forget [me]_{89-arthur myrvin} . "_{[89-arthur myrvin]} " Indeed , indeed [I]_90-arthur shall not , [dear Arthur]_90-arthur ; [I]_90-arthur can never forget those who have been so kind to [me]_90-arthur as [you]_113-ellen and [dear Mr. Myrvin]_{74-mr. myrvin} . [I]_90-arthur would much rather stay here always with [you]_113-ellen , than go among [strangers]_{3543-strangers} again , but [I]_90-arthur heard [[my]_90-arthur aunt]_{3424-my aunt} say last night , that perhaps [Mr. Myrvin]_{74-mr. myrvin} would let [you]_113-ellen come and see [us]_507-us sometimes — and [you]_113-ellen will like that , will [you]_113-ellen not ? "_[90-arthur] [Arthur]_90-arthur did not seem quite sure whether [he]_90-arthur would like it or not ; but [they]_507-us continued talking till [his]_90-arthur task was completed , and [Arthur]_90-arthur , at [Ellen]_113-ellen 's earnest request , for [she]_113-ellen suddenly feared [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} would be displeased at [her]_113-ellen having staid out so long , returned with [her]_113-ellen to [the cottage]_{301-the cottage} ; the silent kiss , however , which [she]_113-ellen received , when [Arthur]_90-arthur explained what had detained [them]_507-us , reassured [her]_113-ellen , and bound [her]_113-ellen yet closer to [the kind relative]_{510-the kind relative} , whom , if timidity had permitted , [she]_113-ellen would already have so loved . The novelty of [his]_90-arthur situation , the rapid and pleasant movement of [[his]_90-arthur uncle]_{443-his uncle} 's carriage , the idea of the new relations [he]_90-arthur was about to meet , and an unconfessed but powerful feeling of [his]_90-arthur own increased consequence in being so nearly connected with wealth and distinction , all had their effect upon [Edward]_76-edward , and [his]_76-edward eye sparkled and [his]_76-edward cheek glowed , as if all sorrow had entirely passed away ; not that [he]_76-edward had ceased to think of [[his]_76-edward mother]_{330-his mother} , for the least reference to [her]_{330-his mother} would fill [his]_76-edward eyes with tears and completely check [his]_76-edward joy — but still delight predominated . [Ellen]_113-ellen felt more and more the wish to shrink into [her]_113-ellen self , for the farther [they]_513-they left [Llangwillan]_{4-llangwillan} , the more painfully [she]_113-ellen missed [Mr. Myrvin]_{74-mr. myrvin} and [[his]_{74-mr. myrvin} son]_{514-his son} , and the more [she]_113-ellen shrunk from encountering [strangers]_{3543-strangers} . [Edward]_76-edward [she]_113-ellen knew would speedily find [companions to love]_{516-companions to love} , and to be loved by , and [he]_76-edward would think still less of [her]_113-ellen . [[Her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} would soon be surrounded by [[her]_{367-her aunt} own children]_{455-her own children} , and then how could [she]_{367-her aunt} expect to win [her]_{367-her aunt} love ? And [Ellen]_113-ellen looked intently and silently out from the carriage - window — [[her]_113-ellen uncle]_{519-her uncle} believed on the many - flowered hedge and other objects of interest by which [they]_520-they passed — [[his]_{74-mr. myrvin} wife]_{521-his wife} imagined to hide a tear that trembled in [her]_{521-his wife} eyes , but which [she]_{521-his wife} had determined should not fall . In order clearly to understand the allusions of the previous chapters , and the circumstances which had formed the different characters of [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} and [Mrs. Fortescue]_{73-mrs. fortescue} , it will be necessary to take a retrospective glance on [their]_520-they early lives . Should it be uninteresting to [the more youthful of [[our]_523-we readers]_{524-our readers}]_{522-the more youthful of our readers} , [we]_523-we will beg [them]_{522-the more youthful of our readers} to proceed at once to " Traits of Character , "_{[78-emmeline]} but to [[their]_{522-the more youthful of our readers} elder relatives]_{525-their elder relatives} , [we]_523-we hope the matter will prove of sufficient interest to obtain perusal . [Emmeline]_78-emmeline and [Eleanor Manvers]_91-eleanor were [the daughters of [Lord Delmont]_{92-lord delmont}]_{526-the daughters of lord delmont} , [a nobleman whose title and rank were rather burdensome than otherwise]_{527-a nobleman whose title and rank were rather burdensome than otherwise} , from the want of sufficient means to keep [them]_{526-the daughters of lord delmont} up as inclination and position warranted . [Lady Delmont]_{93-lady delmont} , whose energetic yet gentle character would have greatly ameliorated the petty vexations of [[her]_{93-lady delmont} husband]_{340-her husband} , died when [Emmeline]_78-emmeline was only seven , [Eleanor]_91-eleanor five , and [Charles]_94-charles , [[her]_{93-lady delmont} only boy]_{529-her only boy} [an infant of but three years old]_{530-an infant of but three years old} . [A widow lady]_{531-a widow lady} , [Mrs. Harcourt]_{95-mrs. harcourt} by name , had been selected by [Lady Delmont]_{93-lady delmont} , in [her]_{93-lady delmont} last illness , as [instructress and guardian of [[her]_{93-lady delmont} daughters]_{533-her daughters}]_{532-instructress and guardian of her daughters} . [Her]_{93-lady delmont} wishes , always laws to [[her]_{93-lady delmont} doating husband]_{534-her doating husband} , were promptly fulfilled , and [Mrs. Harcourt]_{95-mrs. harcourt} , two months after [[her]_{95-mrs. harcourt} friend]_{535-her friend} 's death , assumed the arduous and responsible duties for which [her]_{95-mrs. harcourt} high character well fitted [her]_{95-mrs. harcourt} . With [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , though there were naturally some faults to correct , an indolence and weakness to overcome , and apparently no remarkable natural aptitude for acquirement , [her]_78-emmeline task was comparatively easy , for [[her]_78-emmeline pupil]_{536-her pupil} had the capabilities , not only of affection but of reverence , to a very great extent , and once loving and respecting [Mrs. Harcourt]_{95-mrs. harcourt} , not a command was neglected nor a wish unfulfilled . [Eleanor]_91-eleanor , on the contrary , though so gifted that teaching might have been a complete labor of love — by self - will , violent passions , and a most determined want of veneration , even , of common respect , a resolute opposition from [her]_91-eleanor earliest years to the wishes of [Mrs. Harcourt]_{95-mrs. harcourt} , because [she]_{95-mrs. harcourt} was merely [a governess]_{537-a governess} , so much [her]_{95-mrs. harcourt} inferior in rank , rendered the task of education one of the most difficult and painful that can be conceived — increased from the injudicious partiality of [Lord Delmont]_{92-lord delmont} . It was not indeed the culpable negligence and dislike which [Eleanor]_91-eleanor afterward displayed toward [her]_91-eleanor own , but originating in the fancy that [Mrs. Harcourt]_{95-mrs. harcourt} was unjust , and [Emmeline]_78-emmeline was [her]_78-emmeline favorite . [Lord Delmont]_{92-lord delmont} was one of [those unfortunately weak , irresolute characters , that only behold the surface of things , and are therefore utterly incapable of acting either with vigor or judgment]_{538-those unfortunately weak , irresolute characters , that only behold the surface of things , and are therefore utterly incapable of acting either with vigor or judgment} . When [he]_{92-lord delmont} did venture into the precincts of [[[his]_{92-lord delmont} daughters]_{539-his daughters} ' apartments]_{540-his daughters ' apartments} , [he]_{92-lord delmont} generally found [Eleanor]_91-eleanor in sobs and tears , and [Emmeline]_78-emmeline quietly pursuing [her]_78-emmeline daily duties . That [Mrs. Harcourt]_{95-mrs. harcourt} often entreated [his]_{92-lord delmont} influence with [[her]_{95-mrs. harcourt} younger pupil]_{541-her younger pupil} , to change [her]_{95-mrs. harcourt} course of conduct , [he]_{92-lord delmont} never remembered longer than the time [her]_{95-mrs. harcourt} expostulations lasted . Once or twice indeed [he]_{92-lord delmont} did begin to speak seriously , but [Eleanor]_91-eleanor would throw [her]_91-eleanor arms round [his]_{92-lord delmont} neck and kiss [him]_{92-lord delmont} , call [him]_{92-lord delmont} every endearing name , and beg [him]_{92-lord delmont} not to look so much like grave , cross [Mrs. Harcourt]_{95-mrs. harcourt} , or [she]_91-eleanor should think [she]_91-eleanor had indeed [no one]_{3540-no one} to love [her]_91-eleanor ; and [her]_91-eleanor beautiful eyes would swell with tears , and [her]_91-eleanor voice quiver , so that [[her]_91-eleanor gratified father]_{543-her gratified father} would forget all [his]_{543-her gratified father} reproof , and give [her]_91-eleanor some indulgence to make up for the injustice and harshness [she]_91-eleanor encountered in [the school - room]_{544-the school - room} . [Her]_91-eleanor power once thus experienced , of course , was never resigned . [[Her]_91-eleanor father]_{435-her father} 's appearance in [[their]_546-their study]_{547-their study} was always the signal for [her]_91-eleanor tears , which [she]_91-eleanor knew would confirm all [his]_{435-her father} ideas of [Mrs. Harcourt]_{95-mrs. harcourt} 's unjust partiality . And this idea was strengthened as [they]_546-their grew older , and [masters]_548-masters for various accomplishments somewhat lightened [Mrs. Harcourt]_{95-mrs. harcourt} 's actual labors . [Emmeline]_78-emmeline 's steady application , and moderate abilities were lost sight of in the applause always elicited by [[her]_78-emmeline younger sister]_{549-her younger sister} ; whose natural gifts alike in music , languages , and drawing had full play , directly [she]_{549-her younger sister} was released , even in part , from the hated thralldom of [her]_{549-her younger sister} governess.—Lord [Delmont]_{92-lord delmont} had been accustomed to hear [Eleanor]_91-eleanor 's beauty extolled , and now the extraordinary versatility and brilliancy of [her]_{549-her younger sister} talents became the theme of every tongue . [Professors]_{550-professors} are naturally proud of [a pupil who does them more than justice]_{551-a pupil who does them more than justice} , and [Miss Eleanor Manvers]_91-eleanor was in consequence held up in [very many families]_{552-very many families} , whom [Lord Delmont]_{92-lord delmont} only casually knew , and spoken of by very many again to [him]_{435-her father} , knowing [his]_{435-her father} weak point , and thus seeking to curry favor . [Mrs. Harcourt]_{95-mrs. harcourt} was the only one from whom [he]_{435-her father} never heard [Eleanor]_91-eleanor 's praises , and [the only one]_{553-the only one} , who spoke in praise of [Emmeline]_78-emmeline . It must then be willful blindness on [her]_78-emmeline part ; and [the father]_{554-the father} felt indignant , but in spite of [himself]_{554-the father} had too much real respect for [her]_78-emmeline , individually , to do more than redouble [his]_{554-the father} indulgence to [Eleanor]_91-eleanor . [Emmeline]_78-emmeline could not complain of [[her]_78-emmeline father]_{435-her father} 's neglect , for [he]_{435-her father} was both kind and affectionate to [her]_78-emmeline ; but [she]_78-emmeline did sometimes wish [she]_78-emmeline could be quite sure that [he]_{435-her father} loved [her]_78-emmeline as much as [[her]_78-emmeline sister]_{325-her sister} ; and [her]_78-emmeline deep affections , unsuspected by [[her]_78-emmeline father]_{435-her father} , rejected and laughed at by [Eleanor]_91-eleanor , twined [themselves]_{558-themselves} closer and closer round [Mrs. Harcourt]_{95-mrs. harcourt} , and [[her]_{95-mrs. harcourt} brother]_{384-her brother} [Charles]_94-charles , on whom [she]_{95-mrs. harcourt} actually doted , and who returned [her]_{95-mrs. harcourt} affection with one quite as fond and warm as [a happy , laughter - loving , frank - hearted boy]_{560-a happy , laughter - loving , frank - hearted boy} had it in [his]_{560-a happy , laughter - loving , frank - hearted boy} power to bestow ; yet even [his]_{435-her father} holidays were times of as much suffering as joy to [[his]_{435-her father} sister]_{561-his sister} , from the violent quarrels which were continually taking place between [him]_{435-her father} and [Eleanor]_91-eleanor . [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , happy in [herself]_78-emmeline and [Mrs. Harcourt]_{95-mrs. harcourt} 's companionship , could endure [Eleanor]_91-eleanor 's determined supremacy , and , except where [her]_78-emmeline conscience disapproved , yielded to [her]_78-emmeline . But this could not be expected from [Charles]_94-charles , who , despite [[his]_94-charles elder sister]_{562-his elder sister} 's gentle entreaties , would stand up for what [he]_94-charles called [her]_91-eleanor rights , and declare that , when [he]_94-charles was at [home]_563-home , [Miss Eleanor]_91-eleanor should not lord it over [the whole family]_{564-the whole family} . [Eleanor]_91-eleanor would of course quarrel first with [him]_94-charles and then appeal to [[her]_91-eleanor father]_{435-her father} , who without hearing the case would give [her]_91-eleanor right , and harshly condemn [Charles]_94-charles , whose high spirit revolted ; and unable to bear with [[his]_94-charles father]_{406-his father} 's weakness of character , as [he]_{406-his father} ought to have done , would answer disrespectfully ; and words succeeded words till [Charles]_94-charles in a desperate passion would seek [[Emmeline]_78-emmeline 's chamber]_{567-emmeline 's chamber} , and [[his]_94-charles father]_{406-his father} , though [he]_{406-his father} actually deeply loved and was very proud of [[his]_{406-his father} son]_{514-his son} , wished that the holidays were over , and [Charles]_94-charles safe again at [school]_570-school . Trifling as domestic disputes may seem in description , they never fail in their painful reality to banish all lasting happiness . [Emmeline]_78-emmeline could bear that [[her]_78-emmeline father]_{435-her father} should prefer [Eleanor]_91-eleanor to [herself]_78-emmeline , but that [he]_{435-her father} should be unjust to [[her]_78-emmeline darling]_{336-her darling} [Charles]_94-charles , and that [Charles]_94-charles should increase this evil by dispute and self - will , tried [her]_78-emmeline severely , and obliged [her]_78-emmeline often and often to fly to the solitude of [[her]_78-emmeline own chamber]_{573-her own chamber} , lest [her]_78-emmeline temper also should fail , and , to defend [[her]_78-emmeline brother]_{384-her brother} , [she]_78-emmeline should forget [her]_78-emmeline duty to [[her]_78-emmeline father]_{435-her father} . But with [her]_78-emmeline , [Mrs. Harcourt]_{95-mrs. harcourt} 's lessons had indeed been blessed . The spirit of true , heartfelt piety , which [she]_{95-mrs. harcourt} had sought to instill into [her]_{95-mrs. harcourt} youthful charge , even more by the example of [her]_{95-mrs. harcourt} daily life than by precepts , had become [Emmeline]_78-emmeline 's , young as [she]_78-emmeline still was , and enabled [her]_78-emmeline not only to bear up against the constant petty annoyances of [[her]_78-emmeline home]_{576-her home} , but the heavy trial sustained in the death of [Mrs. Harcourt]_{95-mrs. harcourt} , just as [she]_78-emmeline was looking forward to [her]_78-emmeline entrance into [the gay world]_{577-the gay world} , under [her]_78-emmeline maternal guardianship , and [her]_78-emmeline parting with [[her]_78-emmeline brother]_{384-her brother} , who , not two months afterward , left [her]_78-emmeline to fulfill [his]_{384-her brother} darling wish of going to [sea]_579-sea . At eighteen , then , [Emmeline Manvers]_78-emmeline became [the mistress of [[her]_78-emmeline father]_{435-her father} 's establishment]_{580-the mistress of her father 's establishment} , and had to encounter alone , not only the suffering of bereavement — in which , though [Lord Delmont]_{92-lord delmont} sincerely respected [Mrs. Harcourt]_{95-mrs. harcourt} , [he]_{92-lord delmont} could not sympathize , and at which , after the first shock and momentary remorse for [her]_78-emmeline own conduct to [so true a friend]_{582-so true a friend} , [Eleanor]_91-eleanor , if [she]_91-eleanor did not actually rejoice , felt so very greatly relieved as to be irritated and angry at [Emmeline]_78-emmeline 's quiet sorrow — but the separation from [[her]_78-emmeline brother]_{384-her brother} and all the cares and disagreeables of such strict economy at [home]_563-home , as would permit the sustaining a proper position in [society]_585-society , so that the necessity of economy should not even be suspected . It was this regard of appearances which so chafed and pained [Emmeline]_78-emmeline 's upright and independent spirit . Not that [Lord Delmont]_{92-lord delmont} , even for appearances , would go beyond [his]_{92-lord delmont} income ; but still there were obliged concealments and other petty things which [[his]_{92-lord delmont} daughter]_{586-his daughter} could not bear . [Mrs. Harcourt]_{95-mrs. harcourt} 's trial — [a widow]_{587-a widow} , compelled not only to teach for a subsistence , but to part with [[her]_{95-mrs. harcourt} only child , who had been adopted by [a married sister]_{589-a married sister} , living in [Italy]_9-italy]_{588-her only child , who had been adopted by a married sister , living in italy} — appeared to [Emmeline]_78-emmeline 's ideas of truth and honor preferable to appearing richer than [they]_590-they really were . But on this subject , even less than on any other , [she]_{95-mrs. harcourt} knew there was no chance of sympathy , and so [she]_{95-mrs. harcourt} devoted all the energies of [her]_{95-mrs. harcourt} matured and well - regulated mind to correcting the evil as much as it lay in [her]_{95-mrs. harcourt} individual power ; and in the year which [her]_{95-mrs. harcourt} earnest entreaties prevailed on [[her]_{95-mrs. harcourt} father]_{435-her father} to permit [her]_{95-mrs. harcourt} remaining in quiet retirement , before [she]_{95-mrs. harcourt} entered [the world]_{592-the world} , [Lord Delmont]_{92-lord delmont} was astonished at the greater comfort and increase of dignity which pervaded [[his]_{92-lord delmont} establishment]_{593-his establishment} . [He]_{92-lord delmont} never had chosen [Mrs. Harcourt]_{95-mrs. harcourt} to interfere with [his]_{92-lord delmont} household concerns , believing that [he]_{92-lord delmont} conducted them [himself]_{92-lord delmont} , when in reality [he]_{92-lord delmont} was completely governed by [[his]_{92-lord delmont} housekeeper]_{594-his housekeeper} and [steward]_595-steward . [[Mrs. Harcourt]_{95-mrs. harcourt} 's penetration]_{596-mrs. harcourt 's penetration} had seen and regretted this , and had endeavored so to guide and instruct [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , that when [she]_78-emmeline became old enough to claim [her]_78-emmeline right as [mistress]_597-mistress , the evil should be remedied . Could [she]_78-emmeline have looked down on [the child of [her]_78-emmeline love]_{598-the child of her love} , [she]_78-emmeline would indeed have rejoiced at the beautiful fruition of [her]_78-emmeline labors . [Lord Delmont]_{92-lord delmont} was not astonished and delighted only , a feeling of respect toward [[his]_{92-lord delmont} gentle , [[his]_{92-lord delmont} truthful child]_{600-his truthful child}]_{599-his gentle , his truthful child} entered [his]_{92-lord delmont} heart , such as [he]_{92-lord delmont} had experienced toward none , save [[her]_{600-his truthful child} mother]_{345-her mother} . [Emmeline]_78-emmeline would indeed have thought all [her]_78-emmeline toils repaid , could [she]_78-emmeline have known this , but the very feeling prevented the display of that caressing affection [he]_{92-lord delmont} still lavished on [Eleanor]_91-eleanor , and the tears of [[his]_{92-lord delmont} elder girl]_{602-his elder girl} often fell thick and fast from the painful longing for one similar caress , one evidence on [his]_{92-lord delmont} part , that , though neither so beautiful , nor talented , nor engaging as [Eleanor]_91-eleanor , [she]_78-emmeline could yet minister to [his]_{92-lord delmont} comfort and increase [his]_{92-lord delmont} happiness . But [Emmeline]_78-emmeline 's strong feeling of religion , while it enabled [her]_78-emmeline to bear up against care and the constant and most painful feeling of loneliness , rendered the trial of beholding [[her]_78-emmeline sister]_{325-her sister} 's willful course of error , if possible , still more severe . [She]_78-emmeline knew that all [her]_78-emmeline affectionate counsels were worse than useless , that though [Eleanor]_91-eleanor could be even caressingly affectionate when it served [her]_78-emmeline purpose , would even listen to [her]_78-emmeline at the moment of suffering from some too hasty impulse , [she]_78-emmeline had no lasting influence . And this became more and more evident as [Eleanor]_91-eleanor became [the almost constant companion of [the Marchioness Lascelles]_{97-the marchioness lascelles}]_{604-the almost constant companion of the marchioness lascelles} , [[their]_605-their only female relative]_{606-their only female relative} . It was the evil influence of [this lady]_{607-this lady} which had so increased [Eleanor]_91-eleanor 's natural repugnance to [Mrs. Harcourt]_{95-mrs. harcourt} 's gentle sway , that for full two years before [the latter]_{608-the latter} 's death the flattery of [Lady Lascelles]_{98-lady lascelles} and [Eleanor]_91-eleanor 's passionate entreaties had prevailed on [Lord Delmont]_{92-lord delmont} to permit [[his]_{92-lord delmont} daughter]_{586-his daughter} being more with [her]_91-eleanor than with [[her]_91-eleanor sister]_{325-her sister} and [governess]_{611-governess} . [Lady Lascelles]_{98-lady lascelles} was [a woman of [the world]_{592-the world}]_{612-a woman of the world} , utterly heartless , highly distinguished , and supremely fashionable . At [[her]_{98-lady lascelles} house]_{614-her house} all the ton of [the beau monde]_{615-the beau monde} congregated , and scandal , frivolity , and esprît were the prevailing topics , diversified with superficial opinions of the literature , arts , and politics of the day , and various sentimental episodes , which [the lady of the house]_{616-the lady of the house} endured for the sake of variety . Here [Eleanor]_91-eleanor , even at fourteen , was made [a popular idol]_{617-a popular idol} ; [her]_91-eleanor extreme beauty , [her]_91-eleanor vivacity , [her]_91-eleanor talents , [her]_91-eleanor sharpness of repartee , all were admired , extolled , and encouraged . At seventeen [she]_91-eleanor was introduced and initiated into all the mysteries of an ultra - fashionable life , and very speedily added to [her]_91-eleanor other accomplishments all the arts of a finished and heartless coquette . With [Lady Lascelles]_{98-lady lascelles} for [[her]_{98-lady lascelles} chaperon]_{618-her chaperon} , it was not very surprising that [Emmeline Manvers]_78-emmeline shrunk in pain and dread from [her]_78-emmeline introduction into society ; but yet [she]_78-emmeline knew [her]_78-emmeline social duties too well to refuse , and , by an affectation of superior sanctity , which of course would have been the charge leveled against [her]_78-emmeline , throw a sneer upon those holy feelings and spiritual principles which had become part of [her]_78-emmeline very being . [She]_78-emmeline entered into society , but the isolation to a heart like [hers]_78-emmeline of [the coteries of [Lady Lascelles]_{98-lady lascelles} and [[her]_{98-lady lascelles} friends]_{620-her friends}]_{619-the coteries of lady lascelles and her friends} , was indeed most painful , and aggravated by the constant dread which the contemplation of [Eleanor]_91-eleanor 's reckless career could not but occasion . But [Emmeline]_78-emmeline 's trial of loneliness was happily not of very long duration . At a ball , which was less exclusive than the assemblages of [Lady Lascelles]_{98-lady lascelles} , the attention of [both sisters]_{621-both sisters} was attracted to [a young nan]_{622-a young nan} , by name [Arthur Hamilton]_{84-arthur hamilton} — [Eleanor]_91-eleanor , from [his]_{622-a young nan} distinguished appearance and extreme reserve , [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , by the story attached to [his]_{622-a young nan} name . [[His]_{622-a young nan} father]_{406-his father} had so distinguished [himself]_{406-his father} in the amelioration of [the peasantry and working classes in [various parts of [England]_10-england]_{625-various parts of england}]_{624-the peasantry and working classes in various parts of england} , in addition to various services of a private and confidential nature from [the home government]_{626-the home government} to the courts abroad , that a viscountcy was offered to [his]_{406-his father} acceptance . The message from [royalty]_627-royalty reached [him]_{406-his father} on [his]_{406-his father} death - bed , and though , from the faint and flickering accents with which [he]_{406-his father} replied to the intended honor , it seemed as if [he]_{406-his father} declined it , it was attributed to the natural feelings of [a dying man]_{628-a dying man} , seeing the utter nothingness of earthly honors , and the title was generously proposed to [[his]_{406-his father} son]_{514-his son} . But [Arthur Hamilton]_{84-arthur hamilton} had not been [the pupil and friend of [[his]_{622-a young nan} father]_{406-his father} in vain]_{630-the pupil and friend of his father in vain} . With a calm dignity and uncompromising independence , [he]_{406-his father} declared that [he]_{406-his father} had neither claim nor heirship to the reward of [[his]_{406-his father} father]_{406-his father} 's services ; that [he]_{406-his father} believed [[his]_{406-his father} parent]_{633-his parent} would [himself]_{633-his parent} have refused it , preferring the honorable distinction of being [an untitled English gentleman]_{634-an untitled english gentleman} , to the unvalued honor of [a newly - created lordship]_{635-a newly - created lordship} . [He]_{406-his father} respectfully thanked [the government]_{636-the government} for the honor [they]_{636-the government} intended , but decisively refused it — that [his]_{406-his father} dearest inheritance was [[his]_{406-his father} father]_{406-his father} 's name . Of course this most extraordinary decision was canvassed again and again in [the fashionable world]_{638-the fashionable world} , meeting there with very little appreciation , because it sprang from much higher feelings than [the world]_{592-the world} could comprehend . By [many]_640-many [he]_{406-his father} was imagined very little removed from insane — by others as actuated by some ulterior motive , which would be sure to display itself some day — by all regarded with curiosity — by [some few]_{641-some few} with earnest , quiet , heartfelt admiration : and of this number was not only [Emmeline Manvers]_78-emmeline , but [[her]_78-emmeline father]_{435-her father} ; who , though weak and yielding , was not worldly , and could admire honorable independence , even while [some of [[his]_{406-his father} friends]_{644-his friends}]_{643-some of his friends} succeeded in persuading [him]_{406-his father} that in this case it nearly reached romance . [Arthur Hamilton]_{84-arthur hamilton} was a star creating a sensation ; it signified little to [Eleanor Manvers]_91-eleanor why or wherefore , but [she]_91-eleanor fully resolved to conquer [him]_{84-arthur hamilton} and chain [him]_{84-arthur hamilton} , as [she]_91-eleanor had already done innumerable others , victim to [her]_91-eleanor charms . [His]_{84-arthur hamilton} very reserve deepened [her]_91-eleanor ardent longing , and the difficulty only strengthened [her]_91-eleanor resolution , but [she]_91-eleanor tried in vain ; for the first time [she]_91-eleanor was completely and entirely foiled , and [she]_91-eleanor disliked [him]_{84-arthur hamilton} accordingly — a dislike increasing to actual abhorrence — when the truth at length forced itself upon [her]_91-eleanor , that [he]_{84-arthur hamilton} admired , conversed with , evidently sought [the society of [[her]_91-eleanor sister]_{325-her sister} , whom [she]_91-eleanor chose to charge with deceit and underhand dealing , with all the violence of angry passion and mortified defeat]_{645-the society of her sister , whom she chose to charge with deceit and underhand dealing , with all the violence of angry passion and mortified defeat} . [Emmeline]_78-emmeline bore the storm calmly , for [her]_78-emmeline conscience perfectly acquitted [her]_78-emmeline . [She]_91-eleanor was not indeed indifferent to [Arthur Hamilton]_{84-arthur hamilton} , but [she]_91-eleanor had tried hard to prevent the ascendency of affection , for [she]_91-eleanor had heard that [he]_{84-arthur hamilton} still mourned the loss of [a beloved one to whom [he]_{84-arthur hamilton} had been for many years engaged]_{647-a beloved one to whom he had been for many years engaged} . And deep was [her]_91-eleanor thankful joy , and unexpected indeed the intensity of [her]_91-eleanor happiness , when six months after [their]_648-their first introduction [he]_{84-arthur hamilton} related to [her]_91-eleanor the heavy trial of [his]_{84-arthur hamilton} early life , and concluded by asking [her]_91-eleanor if [she]_91-eleanor could indeed accept a heart which had so loved another , but which was now entirely [her]_91-eleanor own , and happier than [he]_{84-arthur hamilton} had once believed it ever could be . The very frankness of [his]_{84-arthur hamilton} avowal increased the feelings of reverence and regard [he]_{84-arthur hamilton} had already inspired , and to the great delight , and no little pride of [Lord Delmont]_{92-lord delmont} , [[his]_{84-arthur hamilton} elder daughter]_{649-his elder daughter} , who had been by [[Lady Lascelles]_{98-lady lascelles} ' coterie so overlooked and neglected , who had been by many for years considered a mere foil to the beauty and talent of [[her]_91-eleanor younger sister]_{549-her younger sister}]_{650-lady lascelles ' coterie so overlooked and neglected , who had been by many for years considered a mere foil to the beauty and talent of her younger sister} , was united before [she]_91-eleanor was twenty , to [a man who — however [his]_{84-arthur hamilton} high principles might have excited laughter as high - flown romance , [his]_{84-arthur hamilton} unbending integrity and dislike of the pleasures and amusements , but too often the sole pursuit of [the wealthy]_{653-the wealthy}]_{652-a man who — however his high principles might have excited laughter as high - flown romance , his unbending integrity and dislike of the pleasures and amusements , but too often the sole pursuit of the wealthy} , exposed [him]_{84-arthur hamilton} to the charge of severity and eccentricity — was yet sought , and [his]_{84-arthur hamilton} connection deemed a most desirable partie by all and [every family who had [marriageable daughters]_{655-marriageable daughters}]_{654-every family who had marriageable daughters} . [Eleanor]_91-eleanor 's unfounded dislike toward [Arthur Hamilton]_{84-arthur hamilton} did not decrease when [he]_{84-arthur hamilton} became [[her]_91-eleanor brother - in - law]_{656-her brother - in - law} ; [she]_91-eleanor chose to believe that [he]_{84-arthur hamilton} had injured [her]_91-eleanor by being [the only one who had remained proof against all the fascinations [she]_91-eleanor had thrown in [his]_{84-arthur hamilton} way]_{657-the only one who had remained proof against all the fascinations she had thrown in his way} . Even in [her]_91-eleanor childhood , if [any one]_{393-any one} chanced to notice [Emmeline]_78-emmeline more than [herself]_91-eleanor , it was considered a mortal offense , and [the person who had so offended]_{659-the person who had so offended} was scarcely spoken to again . Therefore that [Emmeline]_78-emmeline should be married before [herself]_78-emmeline , and to [the man [she]_78-emmeline intended to captivate , but not to love , or [we]_661-we d]_{660-the man she intended to captivate , but not to love , or we d} , was an offense visited upon [[her]_78-emmeline sister]_{325-her sister} by the withdrawal of [her]_78-emmeline speech for six months , and on [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} by an insulting haughtiness of demeanor toward [him]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , at which [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} only smiled ; and , to [her]_91-eleanor extreme annoyance , [she]_91-eleanor found that even as [she]_91-eleanor had failed to fascinate , [she]_91-eleanor equally failed to offend . [He]_{81-mrs. hamilton} would speak to [her]_91-eleanor , would treat [her]_91-eleanor with courtesy , and the quiet familiarity of [an older relative]_{663-an older relative} — and more , actually remonstrate with [her]_91-eleanor conduct whenever [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} thought it wrong . It was the recollection of this time , yet more than actual present feeling , which had occasioned the mistaken impressions [she]_91-eleanor had infused into both [[her]_91-eleanor children]_{322-her children} , of the extreme severity and harshness of [[their]_{322-her children} uncle]_{665-their uncle} , thoughtlessly indeed , for the present was always all to [her]_91-eleanor , and if [she]_91-eleanor did think that [they]_{322-her children} might one day be under [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} charge , [she]_91-eleanor little imagined the unhappiness and mischief which [their]_{322-her children} supposition of [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} unbending sternness might engender . To [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , the change in [her]_78-emmeline young life was so marvelous , so complete — care , anxiety , loneliness , that sinking of the whole frame and heart , from the absence of appreciation and social kindness , had so departed , leaving in [their]_{322-her children} stead such an intensity of quiet domestic happiness , that it was long before [her]_78-emmeline full heart could believe it reality , and rest secure . [She]_78-emmeline had always longed for one to reverence , to cling to , and [[her]_78-emmeline husband]_{340-her husband} gave [her]_78-emmeline room for both . As [[his]_{340-her husband} betrothed]_{667-his betrothed} , even before [their]_{322-her children} marriage , [she]_78-emmeline had been introduced to very different society to that of [the marchioness]_{668-the marchioness} ; [she]_78-emmeline beheld [him]_{340-her husband} reverenced , loved , appealed to by [the wisest and the best men]_{669-the wisest and the best men} , often older than [himself]_{340-her husband} . That [this man]_{670-this man} should so love , cherish , and actually reverence [her]_78-emmeline — no wonder that under the magic of such feelings [her]_78-emmeline character matured , displaying such engaging and unsuspected qualities , that even [[her]_78-emmeline husband]_{340-her husband} often looked at [her]_78-emmeline with astonishment , playfully asking [her]_78-emmeline if [she]_78-emmeline could be the same calm , almost too quiet , and seemingly too cold [[Emmeline]_78-emmeline Manvers whom [he]_{340-her husband} had first seen]_{672-emmeline manvers whom he had first seen} . [Her]_78-emmeline very talents , which had seemed worthless , compared to [[her]_78-emmeline sister]_{325-her sister} 's , were called forth by [[her]_78-emmeline husband]_{340-her husband} . [She]_78-emmeline found that [her]_78-emmeline voice and [her]_78-emmeline touch on either piano or harp , could give [him]_{340-her husband} exquisite pleasure , and this once discovered , [she]_78-emmeline made such improvement as almost to surprise [herself]_78-emmeline . [She]_78-emmeline found the sketches taken from the various lovely spots in the vicinity of [[their]_675-their noble seat]_{676-their noble seat} , and in which [Devonshire]_{11-devonshire} abounds , delighted [him]_{340-her husband} , and when [Eleanor]_91-eleanor did visit [Oakwood]_12-oakwood , [she]_78-emmeline was astounded at the various beautiful drawings , which evinced the employment of that leisure which [she]_78-emmeline had declared must be even to the quiet [Emmeline]_78-emmeline a horrid bore . To [Lord Delmont]_{92-lord delmont} the change in [[his]_{92-lord delmont} daughter]_{586-his daughter} was much more astonishing than to [[her]_78-emmeline husband]_{340-her husband} . [He]_{340-her husband} was very often at [Oakwood]_12-oakwood ( particularly when [a little grandson was added to the happy party]_{679-a little grandson was added to the happy party} ) , for [[his]_{340-her husband} home under [Eleanor]_91-eleanor 's extravagant and heedless management]_{680-his home under eleanor 's extravagant and heedless management} had lost all the comfort that [Emmeline]_78-emmeline had bestowed . [He]_{340-her husband} had begun , too , to discover that [[his]_{340-her husband} darling]_{681-his darling} , [his]_{340-her husband} still favorite [Eleanor]_91-eleanor , was not faultless . [Emmeline]_78-emmeline 's generous assistance and determination to spare [[her]_78-emmeline father]_{435-her father} all discomfort had concealed [Eleanor]_91-eleanor 's personal extravagance from [him]_{340-her husband} ; but after [her]_78-emmeline marriage , as [Eleanor]_91-eleanor 's fashionable amusements increased , so did the quantity and amount of [her]_91-eleanor bills , which , as [the young lady]_{683-the young lady} did not seem inclined to settle them , were sent to [[her]_{683-the young lady} father]_{435-her father} . [Lord Delmont]_{92-lord delmont} was painfully startled , and with [his]_{92-lord delmont} usual want of judgment spoke to [Eleanor]_91-eleanor at the very moment that [he]_{92-lord delmont} felt most angry ; unaccustomed to reproof from [him]_{92-lord delmont} , [she]_91-eleanor retorted with equal passion , and a violent altercation ensued , which ended in [Eleanor]_91-eleanor ordering [the carriage]_{3444-the carriage} and driving to [Lady Lascelles]_{98-lady lascelles} , declaring [she]_91-eleanor could not think of returning [home]_563-home , till [[her]_{683-the young lady} father]_{435-her father} had sufficiently recovered [his]_{435-her father} senses for [her]_91-eleanor to do so in safety . The interference of [Emmeline]_78-emmeline at length succeeded in restoring peace , but [Lord Delmont]_{92-lord delmont} 's eyes had been rudely opened , and , as is unhappily too often the case with those weak characters where over - indulgence of childhood , has occasioned those annoyances of ungoverned youth , [he]_{92-lord delmont} became irritable and sometimes even harsh with [Eleanor]_91-eleanor , which conduct threw [her]_91-eleanor still more with [Lady Lascelles]_{98-lady lascelles} . As to joining society with [Mr.]_688-mr. and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , when [they]_689-they were in [London]_13-london , [Eleanor]_91-eleanor would not hear of it . But to [[her]_91-eleanor sister]_{325-her sister} 's great joy , and some surprise , [she]_91-eleanor accepted an invitation to [Oakwood]_12-oakwood a short time after [little Percy]_99-percy 's birth ; and , still more surprising , condescended to make [herself]_91-eleanor agreeable . The [London]_13-london season had tired [her]_91-eleanor , and [she]_91-eleanor thought [she]_91-eleanor might just as well be dull on [the banks of [the Dart]_{14-the dart}]_{691-the banks of the dart} in August and September as in [some stupid watering - place]_{692-some stupid watering - place} . [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , despite [her]_91-eleanor dislike , which [she]_91-eleanor cared not to avow , [she]_91-eleanor found could be at least very entertaining ; [[her]_91-eleanor father]_{435-her father} was more like [[his]_{435-her father} former self]_{694-his former self} , [[her]_91-eleanor sister]_{325-her sister} far more delightful and lovely than [she]_91-eleanor ever thought [she]_91-eleanor could be , and [[her]_91-eleanor nephew]_{696-her nephew} certainly [a pretty little plague]_{697-a pretty little plague} . Then [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had a beautiful horse entirely for [her]_91-eleanor use , and [she]_91-eleanor rode exceedingly well , and was greatly admired . [She]_91-eleanor was seized with an exploring mania , and dragged [Emmeline]_78-emmeline to [every old ruin and dark wood within ten miles of [Oakwood]_12-oakwood]_{698-every old ruin and dark wood within ten miles of oakwood} . Altogether the impression [she]_91-eleanor left behind [her]_91-eleanor , after a two months ' visit , was such as to ease [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's great anxiety , more especially as it appeared from certain private conversations , that [her]_91-eleanor affections were for the first time really engaged , and [Emmeline]_78-emmeline had always fondly hoped that when that should be the case , [Eleanor]_91-eleanor would become [a very different person]_{699-a very different person} . Alas ! penetrative as [she]_91-eleanor was , [she]_91-eleanor had not yet learned [[her]_91-eleanor sister]_{325-her sister} 's character ; simply because utter heartlessness in [any woman [she]_91-eleanor could not comprehend]_{701-any woman she could not comprehend} . [Her]_91-eleanor visit to [[her]_91-eleanor father]_{435-her father} in [London]_13-london , in the winter , removed all [their]_703-their rising hopes , and caused such increased and intense anxiety , as so to injure [her]_91-eleanor already delicate health that [[her]_91-eleanor husband]_{340-her husband} bore [her]_91-eleanor back to [Oakwood]_12-oakwood a full month before [they]_703-their had originally intended . Whether or not [Eleanor]_91-eleanor loved [Lord Fitzclair]_{100-fitzclair} , it was impossible to determine ; but that [he]_{100-fitzclair} devotedly , passionately loved [her]_91-eleanor , was only too evident , not only to [the world]_{592-the world} , but to [herself]_91-eleanor ; and this once confirmed , [she]_91-eleanor left no method untried to torment , and so , as [she]_91-eleanor declared , to try if [his]_{100-fitzclair} affections were worth having . [He]_{100-fitzclair} was half [an Italian]_{706-an italian} , and had inherited all the strong , fierce passions of [that country]_{707-that country} , without one atom of self - control . [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} knew [him]_{100-fitzclair} well , far better than [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} knew [himself]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , and conjured [him]_{100-fitzclair} to withdraw from the society of one who could never make [him]_{100-fitzclair} happy , and whose capricious conduct was so likely to render [him]_{100-fitzclair} desperate and miserable : [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} reasoned , entreated in vain . " [She]_91-eleanor only wants to try the strength of [my]_{81-mrs. hamilton} love , "_{[81-mrs. hamilton]} was [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} sole reply ; " and were [she]_91-eleanor to torment health and life away , it will never change — [she]_91-eleanor will be [mine]_{81-mrs. hamilton} yet . "_{[81-mrs. hamilton]} And to the astonishment of [Mr.]_708-mr. and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , two months afterward [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} proposed in form , and actually was accepted , with the sole condition that [their]_709-their engagement should be kept secret till it should please [Eleanor]_91-eleanor to name the wedding day , which could not be at least for six or eight months . This engagement might have eased anxiety , but the condition increased it , especially , as instead of coming to [Oakwood]_12-oakwood , as [Emmeline]_78-emmeline had asked and hoped , the latter part of the summer and autumn was to be spent in [Cheltenham]_{15-cheltenham} with a very gay party , in which [Eleanor]_91-eleanor was still of course the star . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} entered [the nursery]_{710-the nursery} one morning earlier than usual , for [[her]_711-her infant]_{712-her infant} had not been well the night before , and [she]_711-her had already experienced the care as well as the joy of [a mother]_{3503-a mother} . [[Her]_711-her babe]_{714-her babe} was better , and as [he]_{714-her babe} lay smilingly and happily in [her]_711-her lap , and watched the eager movements of [[his]_{714-her babe} brother]_{715-his brother} , [she]_711-her was only sensible of pleasure . [The nurse]_{716-the nurse} had arranged the chairs in a long line , that [Master Percy]_99-percy might , with [their]_{716-the nurse} help , walk the whole length of [the large and airy room]_{717-the large and airy room} . The feat mightily pleased [the little gentleman , who , having acquired the venerable age of fifteen months , liked better to feel [his]_{718-the little gentleman , who , having acquired the venerable age of fifteen months , liked better to feel his feet than crawl on the floor , or be carried about on any limbs but his own} feet than crawl on the floor , or be carried about on any limbs but [his]_{718-the little gentleman , who , having acquired the venerable age of fifteen months , liked better to feel his feet than crawl on the floor , or be carried about on any limbs but his own} own]_{718-the little gentleman , who , having acquired the venerable age of fifteen months , liked better to feel his feet than crawl on the floor , or be carried about on any limbs but his own} . Every two or three paces [he]_{718-the little gentleman , who , having acquired the venerable age of fifteen months , liked better to feel his feet than crawl on the floor , or be carried about on any limbs but his own} stood nearly alone , and burst into a loud merry laugh , which was always echoed by a crow of joy from [[his]_{718-the little gentleman , who , having acquired the venerable age of fifteen months , liked better to feel his feet than crawl on the floor , or be carried about on any limbs but his own} little brother]_{719-his little brother} . " Take care , [Percy]_99-percy , love , do n't fall and frighten [mamma]_3420-mamma , "_{[720-his young mother]} said [[his]_{718-the little gentleman , who , having acquired the venerable age of fifteen months , liked better to feel his feet than crawl on the floor , or be carried about on any limbs but his own} young mother]_{720-his young mother} , who was watching [him]_{718-the little gentleman , who , having acquired the venerable age of fifteen months , liked better to feel his feet than crawl on the floor , or be carried about on any limbs but his own} with such pleasure as to send for [[his]_{718-the little gentleman , who , having acquired the venerable age of fifteen months , liked better to feel his feet than crawl on the floor , or be carried about on any limbs but his own} father]_{406-his father} to share it . When [[her]_{720-his young mother} son]_{326-her son} , to prove how well [he]_{326-her son} obeyed [her]_{720-his young mother} commands to take care , stood for a second without any support , and then ran quite alone across [the room]_{356-the room} , and with a yet louder laugh hid [his]_{326-her son} rosy face in [her]_{720-his young mother} lap . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} fondly kissed the little nestling head , and at that moment [[her]_{720-his young mother} husband]_{340-her husband} entered [the room]_{356-the room} . " [Dearest Arthur]_{101-dearest arthur} , "_{[720-his young mother]} [she]_{720-his young mother} eagerly exclaimed , " [I]_{720-his young mother} was actually foolish enough to send for [you]_{101-dearest arthur} . [Herbert]_102-herbert seems quite well ; [I]_{720-his young mother} was , it seems , needlessly alarmed , and [Percy]_99-percy has this moment — "_{[720-his young mother]} [She]_{720-his young mother} stopped in sudden terror , for there was an expression on [[her]_{720-his young mother} husband]_{340-her husband} 's countenance of such unusual agitation , that though [he]_{340-her husband} tried to smile when [he]_{340-her husband} heard [her]_{720-his young mother} words , [she]_{720-his young mother} could not conquer [her]_{720-his young mother} alarm , more than to say , in a caressing voice to [[her]_{720-his young mother} little boy]_{727-her little boy} — " Will not [Percy]_99-percy run to [papa]_3546-papa , and ask [him]_{340-her husband} why [he]_{340-her husband} looks so sad ? "_{[720-his young mother]} [The child]_{346-the child} looked up in [her]_{720-his young mother} face , and then , as [[his]_{346-the child} father]_{406-his father} held out [his]_{406-his father} arms to [him]_{346-the child} , let go [[his]_{346-the child} mother]_{330-his mother} 's dress , and obeyed [her]_{720-his young mother} . [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} caught [him]_{346-the child} to [his]_{346-the child} heart , held [him]_{346-the child} for above a minute , kissed [him]_{346-the child} fondly , and left [the nursery]_{710-the nursery} without uttering a single word . " Let [me]_{732-the head nurse} take [Master Herbert]_102-herbert , [ma'am]_3547-ma'am , "_{[732-the head nurse]} said [the head nurse]_{732-the head nurse} respectfully , for [she]_{732-the head nurse} saw that [[her]_{732-the head nurse} mistress]_{733-her mistress} 's unexpressed alarm had nearly overpowered [her]_{732-the head nurse} ; and in a few minutes [Emmeline]_78-emmeline was with [[her]_78-emmeline husband]_{340-her husband} , whose agitation was so excessive , that even [[his]_{340-her husband} wife]_{521-his wife} 's presence , for the moment , had scarcely power to calm [him]_{340-her husband} . The tale was soon told . [Eleanor]_91-eleanor 's conduct since [her]_91-eleanor engagement had been such as to excite the displeasure , not of [[her]_91-eleanor father]_{435-her father} alone , but actually of [the marchioness]_{668-the marchioness} ; who , though [a weak and worldly woman , had yet some idea of propriety]_{738-a weak and worldly woman , had yet some idea of propriety} . As a near relation of [Lord Delmont]_{92-lord delmont} , [Eleanor]_91-eleanor 's engagement with [Lord Fitzclair]_{100-fitzclair} was of course told to [her]_91-eleanor , and again and again [she]_91-eleanor warned [her]_91-eleanor that [she]_91-eleanor was going too far , and might lose [[her]_91-eleanor lover]_{739-her lover} before [she]_91-eleanor was aware of it ; but [Eleanor]_91-eleanor only laughed at [her]_91-eleanor , and at last won [her]_91-eleanor over to the belief that it was certainly better to cure [Fitzclair]_{100-fitzclair} of [his]_{100-fitzclair} jealous tendency before marriage than afterward . [Lord Delmont]_{92-lord delmont} 's reproofs [she]_91-eleanor was wo nt to silence , by invariably making them the signal of mortifying and annoying [Lord Fitzclair]_{100-fitzclair} still more than usual . Yet still at times [she]_91-eleanor relented , and so strengthened the love [she]_91-eleanor had excited , so enhanced [her]_91-eleanor own fascinations , that all the agony [he]_{100-fitzclair} had endured and was still , [he]_{100-fitzclair} knew , to endure , by an incomprehensible contradiction , riveted [her]_91-eleanor power and hastened [his]_{100-fitzclair} own doom . Weak in all things but [his]_{100-fitzclair} love , [he]_{100-fitzclair} could not demand as [his]_{100-fitzclair} actual right the publication of [their]_740-their engagement . [Eleanor]_91-eleanor vowed if [he]_{100-fitzclair} did till [she]_91-eleanor permitted [him]_{100-fitzclair} , [she]_91-eleanor would have nothing more to say to [him]_{100-fitzclair} . [She]_91-eleanor knew , though [she]_91-eleanor did not say it , that once made known , a chain would be thrown round [her]_91-eleanor actions , which [she]_91-eleanor did not choose to endure . And [father]_741-father , [lover]_742-lover , and [friend]_743-friend , all feeling [she]_91-eleanor was wrong , and [the first and last]_{744-the first and last} repeatedly telling [her]_91-eleanor so , had yet neither of [them]_745-them the resolution to contend with [her]_91-eleanor , and compel the proper course . A month of [their]_740-their visit to [Cheltenham]_{15-cheltenham} so passed , when [Eleanor]_91-eleanor 's attention was arrested by [a new actor on the scene]_{746-a new actor on the scene} . [She]_91-eleanor had begun to tire of [[her]_91-eleanor present satellites]_{747-her present satellites} , and [a young military captain , whose furlough from [India]_7-india]_{748-a young military captain , whose furlough from india} had just expired , and [whose pale face , somewhat melancholy expression , and very elegant figure]_{749-whose pale face , somewhat melancholy expression , and very elegant figure} , presented a new subject for conquest impossible to be resisted ; and it was unhappily , only too easily achieved . [She]_91-eleanor made no secret of [her]_91-eleanor admiration , speaking of [him]_{748-a young military captain , whose furlough from india} in such terms to [[her]_91-eleanor intended husband]_{750-her intended husband} as to excite anew every jealous feeling . It was easy for [Captain Fortescue]_{104-captain fortescue} to discover [Fitzclair]_{100-fitzclair} was [[his]_{104-captain fortescue} rival]_{751-his rival} ; but believing [himself]_{748-a young military captain , whose furlough from india} decidedly the object of [Eleanor]_91-eleanor 's preference , [he]_{748-a young military captain , whose furlough from india} increased [his]_{748-a young military captain , whose furlough from india} attentions , little imagining the storm [he]_{748-a young military captain , whose furlough from india} was exciting , the more fearful from its determined suppression . [Lord Delmont]_{92-lord delmont} interfered several times , not only by reproaches to [Eleanor]_91-eleanor , but by determined coldness to [[her]_91-eleanor new suitor]_{752-her new suitor} . Finding at length that [her]_91-eleanor encouragement actually neared a criminal extent , and after a desperately stormy interview , [he]_{92-lord delmont} solemnly declared that if [she]_91-eleanor did not dismiss [Captain Fortescue]_{104-captain fortescue} at once , [he]_{92-lord delmont} would shame [her]_91-eleanor in the face of [the whole world]_{753-the whole world} , by proclaiming [her]_91-eleanor engagement with [the young marquis]_{754-the young marquis} . [Eleanor]_91-eleanor in equal anger , declared that if [he]_{92-lord delmont} threatened , so too could [she]_91-eleanor ; and if [he]_{92-lord delmont} tormented [her]_91-eleanor any more [she]_91-eleanor would prevent all publication of [her]_91-eleanor engagement , by [herself]_91-eleanor snapping it asunder , and pledging [her]_91-eleanor faith to [Captain Fortescue]_{104-captain fortescue} . This was too much even for [Lord Delmont]_{92-lord delmont} . Declaring if [she]_91-eleanor did so , [a father]_{755-a father} 's heaviest malediction should fall on [her]_91-eleanor head , [he]_{92-lord delmont} hastily left [her]_91-eleanor ; and [Eleanor]_91-eleanor very composedly went to prepare for an excursion on horseback with [Fortescue]_{104-captain fortescue} , [Fitzclair]_{100-fitzclair} and [others]_756-others . When [Lord Delmont]_{92-lord delmont} 's passions were once roused , even [his]_{92-lord delmont} ordinarily slender judgment entirely forsook [him]_{92-lord delmont} , and [he]_{92-lord delmont} did that which at another time , knowing [Fitzclair]_{100-fitzclair} as [he]_{92-lord delmont} did , [he]_{92-lord delmont} would have shrunk from . [He]_{92-lord delmont} sought [him]_{92-lord delmont} , while still exasperated , upbraided [him]_{92-lord delmont} for [his]_{92-lord delmont} weakness in permitting [Eleanor]_91-eleanor 's unprincipled conduct , and warned [him]_{92-lord delmont} that , if [he]_{92-lord delmont} did not adopt some strong measures to prevent it , [he]_{92-lord delmont} would certainly lose [her]_91-eleanor entirely . [The young man]_{757-the young man} heard [him]_{92-lord delmont} without reply ; but [his]_{757-the young man} face grew livid , and [he]_{757-the young man} clenched [his]_{757-the young man} hand till the blood started from the nails , and in this mood of concentrated passion joined the riding party . The exercise itself is , to some temperaments , unusually exciting , and the determined coldness of [Eleanor]_91-eleanor to [himself]_{757-the young man} , and the eagerly - received devotion of [Fortescue]_{104-captain fortescue} , maddened [him]_{757-the young man} . [He]_{757-the young man} demanded an interview with [her]_91-eleanor on [their]_758-their return [home]_563-home , struggled to speak calmly , expostulated , and , finally , reproached . [Eleanor]_91-eleanor , already irritated ; and , beyond all , that [[her]_91-eleanor lover]_{739-her lover} , in general so obsequious and humble , should dare to call [her]_91-eleanor to account for mere amusement , combined with the recollection of [Captain Fortescue]_{104-captain fortescue} 's flattering vows and willing homage , excited [her]_91-eleanor to an extent of which [she]_91-eleanor was [herself]_91-eleanor unconscious , inasmuch as [she]_91-eleanor firmly believed , whatever [she]_91-eleanor might say then , a few soft words would speedily obliterate . [She]_91-eleanor told [him]_{757-the young man} that really [his]_{757-the young man} jealous temperament was beyond all endurance ; that [he]_{757-the young man} certainly must intend [her]_91-eleanor to despise and abhor [him]_{757-the young man} ; and that the contrast [he]_{757-the young man} presented to [Captain Fortescue]_{104-captain fortescue} was such as to make [her]_91-eleanor most heartily wish to put an end to [their]_761-their engagement , as [she]_91-eleanor felt quite sure it must only end in misery for [both]_762-both ; and , without waiting for a reply , [she]_91-eleanor haughtily brushed by [him]_{757-the young man} , and disappeared . Of the extent of [Fitzclair]_{100-fitzclair} 's passion [Eleanor]_91-eleanor had not the least idea , and this is saying a great deal , for [she]_91-eleanor generally exaggerated [her]_91-eleanor own power . [She]_91-eleanor believed [she]_91-eleanor had inflicted pain , but not as much as [he]_{757-the young man} deserved ; and determined that [she]_91-eleanor would torment [him]_{757-the young man} yet more at the ball that evening . But to [her]_91-eleanor extreme mortification , [he]_{757-the young man} did not appear , and there was a vague dread on [her]_91-eleanor spirits as [she]_91-eleanor retired for the night , which prevented any thing like rest . [His]_{757-the young man} absence had excited surprise in all , especially [Lady Lascelles]_{98-lady lascelles} , who knew that to leave [Eleanor]_91-eleanor entirely to the attentions of [young Fortescue]_{104-captain fortescue} was so unprecedented as to bode no good . But the wildest conjectures were far from reality . The very next morning all [Cheltenham]_{15-cheltenham} was thrown into the most painful excitement by the incomprehensible and most extraordinary fact of the suicide of [Lord Fitzclair]_{100-fitzclair} ; by what occasioned , plunged into such mystery that nothing but sudden aberration of mind was imagined , a belief justified by the very peculiar temperament and manners of [the young nobleman]_{763-the young nobleman} during [his]_{757-the young man} sojourn with [them]_764-them . [His]_{757-the young man} will , a valuable present , with a few lines of regard to [[his]_{757-the young man} faithful attendant]_{765-his faithful attendant} , and a letter addressed to [Arthur Hamilton]_{84-arthur hamilton} , Esq . , were the sole evidences that the awful deed had not been committed without some preparation ; but as that was often the case with madness itself , it excited no remark . The state of [Eleanor]_91-eleanor 's mind when these awful tidings were communicated to [her]_91-eleanor , which they were by [[her]_91-eleanor father]_{435-her father} , in [his]_{435-her father} agitation and anger , without the least preparation , [we]_767-we leave [[our]_767-we readers]_{524-our readers} to imagine . [Hardened]_106-hardened , heartless , willful as [she]_91-eleanor was , [she]_91-eleanor was still [a woman]_{769-a woman} , and [a very young one]_{770-a very young one} , and till [Captain Fortescue]_{104-captain fortescue} appeared , had loved , as far as it was in [her]_91-eleanor nature , [Lord Fitzclair]_{100-fitzclair} . To believe that [she]_91-eleanor had nothing to do with [his]_{757-the young man} miserable end was an attempt so vain and hollow , that even [she]_91-eleanor shrunk from the hopeless struggle to realize it ; remorse in all its torturing , unmitigated anguish took possession of [her]_91-eleanor , but instead of leading [her]_91-eleanor to penitence , and thence the hope of peace , it urged [her]_91-eleanor to a course of action from which [she]_91-eleanor imagined there was no withdrawing ; and which must in time , by removing [her]_91-eleanor from all painful associations , lessen [her]_91-eleanor present misery . For three days and nights [she]_91-eleanor never quitted [[her]_91-eleanor own apartment]_{771-her own apartment} , and then joined [her]_91-eleanor usual circles without the smallest evidence of the internal agony which was still [hers]_91-eleanor . It was very easy to displace paleness by artificial roses , and [her]_91-eleanor gay smiles and joyous sallies were tempered only by a judiciously - expressed horror when the late event was discussed before [her]_91-eleanor , supposed natural to [one who had known [him]_{757-the young man} so intimately]_{772-one who had known him so intimately} ; but the hours of loneliness which followed this conduct in society were terrible indeed . By a strange contrariety of feeling , [her]_91-eleanor better nature longed for [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , and [her]_91-eleanor artificial , which had , alas ! only too forcibly become [her]_91-eleanor natural self , felt as if [she]_91-eleanor would leave [the kingdom]_{773-the kingdom} rather than encounter the mild , sorrowful glance of those penetrating eyes . [Lord Delmont]_{92-lord delmont} was [himself]_{92-lord delmont} in a most pitiable condition ; even minor evils had always been great to [him]_{92-lord delmont} , and the effect of this , the wish to take [Eleanor]_91-eleanor away from [Captain Fortescue]_{104-captain fortescue} 's increased and annoying attentions , and yet the dread that doing so would connect [her]_91-eleanor with [Fitzclair]_{100-fitzclair} 's death , so distracted [him]_{92-lord delmont} as to render [him]_{92-lord delmont} really ill — information which instantly brought [Mr.]_774-mr. and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} to [Cheltenham]_{15-cheltenham} . [Some young wives]_{775-some young wives} and [mothers]_3512-mothers might have felt it hard that [their]_{775-some young wives} domestic enjoyment should so continually have been disturbed and annoyed from the faults of [others]_756-others ; but [Emmeline]_78-emmeline had been accustomed to trace every thing that created personal suffering to the highest source , and feel that it was good for [her]_78-emmeline , or it would not be ; a conviction that enabled [her]_78-emmeline to bear with and still to love [the erring one that was the visible cause of pain]_{778-the erring one that was the visible cause of pain} . [Eleanor]_91-eleanor was at a gay ball the night of [her]_91-eleanor arrival , and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} requested [she]_91-eleanor might not be informed of it till the following day . About half an hour before [her]_91-eleanor usual hour of rising after such scenes , [she]_91-eleanor entered [[[her]_91-eleanor sister]_{325-her sister} 's room]_{780-her sister 's room} . All around [her]_91-eleanor lay the ornaments of the previous evening , looking so strange , gaudy , and faded in [the darkened room]_{781-the darkened room} , and judged by the calmer feelings of the morning . A sensation of intense depression crept over [Emmeline]_78-emmeline as [she]_78-emmeline gazed , increasing as [she]_78-emmeline looked on the face of [the sleeper , which , divested of its unnatural bloom , looked so fearfully wan and haggard]_{782-the sleeper , which , divested of its unnatural bloom , looked so fearfully wan and haggard} . [Her]_91-eleanor beautiful hair lay in tangled masses on [her]_91-eleanor damp brow , and as [Emmeline]_78-emmeline gently tried to remove it , [Eleanor]_91-eleanor started and awoke . " Is it already time to get up ? "_[91-eleanor] [she]_91-eleanor said languidly , and only half unclosing [her]_91-eleanor eyes ; " [I]_91-eleanor feel as if [I]_91-eleanor had not slept at all . Am [I]_91-eleanor dreaming ? "_[91-eleanor] [she]_91-eleanor added , starting up , " or have [I]_91-eleanor slept in one place , and awoke in another ? Am [I]_91-eleanor at [Oakwood]_12-oakwood ? "_[91-eleanor] " No , dearest [Eleanor]_91-eleanor ; will [you]_91-eleanor not welcome [me]_91-eleanor to [Malvern House]_{16-malvern house} ? "_[91-eleanor] The voice , the look , seemed to thrill through [her]_91-eleanor ; [her]_91-eleanor temples were throbbing , [her]_91-eleanor heart weighed down , as it always was when [she]_91-eleanor first awoke , with an undefinable sense of guilt and pain ; [she]_91-eleanor tried to be cold , proud , reserved , but it would not do , and [she]_91-eleanor suddenly flung [her]_91-eleanor arms round [[her]_91-eleanor sister]_{325-her sister} 's neck , and burst into agonized tears . It was a most unexpected greeting , and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} argued hopefully from it . Alas ! the unwonted softening only lasted one brief half hour . [She]_91-eleanor left [her]_{325-her sister} at [[Eleanor]_91-eleanor 's entreaty]_{784-eleanor 's entreaty} while dressing , and when [she]_91-eleanor returned , though [the reckless girl]_{785-the reckless girl} told [her]_91-eleanor with a half smile that [she]_{785-the reckless girl} was ready for [her]_{785-the reckless girl} lecture , for [she]_{785-the reckless girl} could only have come from [Oakwood]_12-oakwood to give [her]_{785-the reckless girl} one ; and that however severe [her]_{785-the reckless girl} words might be , [she]_{785-the reckless girl} could not alter [her]_{785-the reckless girl} tone , that must be kind , in spite of [herself]_{785-the reckless girl} . Yet [Emmeline]_78-emmeline could not succeed in convincing [her]_91-eleanor how wrongly , how cruelly [she]_{785-the reckless girl} had acted . [Eleanor]_91-eleanor would persist that [she]_91-eleanor was not in the least to blame , and that [poor Fitzclair]_{100-fitzclair} 's fearful end was only owing to [his]_{100-fitzclair} own violent passions ; in fact , that [he]_{100-fitzclair} must have been out of [his]_{100-fitzclair} mind , and that , though it was certainly very dreadful , [she]_91-eleanor had perhaps escaped a very terrible doom ; but speak as [she]_91-eleanor might , [Emmeline]_78-emmeline was not deceived as to the agony [she]_91-eleanor was actually enduring . Finding , however , that all [her]_91-eleanor gentle efforts were useless , that even the perusal of [Fitzclair]_{100-fitzclair} 's brief lines to [[her]_91-eleanor husband]_{340-her husband} — which [Eleanor]_91-eleanor insisted on seeing , and in which [he]_{100-fitzclair} deplored [his]_{100-fitzclair} madness in not having followed [his]_{100-fitzclair} advice , and flown from [her]_91-eleanor presence , and bade [him]_{100-fitzclair} take [his]_{100-fitzclair} forgiveness to [her]_91-eleanor , and say , that the means [he]_{100-fitzclair} had adopted would , [he]_{100-fitzclair} trusted , dissolve [their]_787-their engagement to [her]_91-eleanor satisfaction — had no effect , save in causing [her]_91-eleanor to turn so deadly pale , that [[her]_91-eleanor sister]_{325-her sister} was convinced nothing but an almost supernatural effort of pride preserved [her]_91-eleanor from fainting . [She]_{325-her sister} desisted ; hoping against hope that [Eleanor]_91-eleanor would yet repent and become [a different being]_{789-a different being} . [She]_91-eleanor knew harshness would only harden , and so [she]_91-eleanor tried to prevail on [[her]_91-eleanor father]_{435-her father} to treat [her]_91-eleanor as usual , but this [Lord Delmont]_{92-lord delmont} could not do . It is strange how often [we]_791-we find [those parents who have been over - indulgent to childhood , unusually harsh to the faults of youth]_{792-those parents who have been over - indulgent to childhood , unusually harsh to the faults of youth} . [Weak characters]_{793-weak characters} , also , when driven to anger , are always more violent than firmer ones ; and , certainly , [Eleanor]_91-eleanor 's continued haughtiness and coldness , as if [she]_91-eleanor were [the injured one]_{794-the injured one} , did not tend to calm [him]_{435-her father} . And [his]_{435-her father} angry feelings were unfortunately but too soon aggravated by a proposal in form from [Captain Fortescue]_{104-captain fortescue} for the hand of [Eleanor]_91-eleanor . Without a moment 's delay [he]_{435-her father} dispatched a decided and almost insulting refusal to [the young soldier]_{795-the young soldier} , and then sought [[his]_{435-her father} daughter]_{586-his daughter} , and vented on [her]_{586-his daughter} the anger and vexation which overpowered [him]_{435-her father} , upbraiding [her]_{586-his daughter} not only with the death of [Fitzclair]_{100-fitzclair} , but for having dared so to encourage [young Fortescue]_{104-captain fortescue} as to give [him]_{435-her father} courage for [his]_{435-her father} audacious proposal . To [his]_{435-her father} astonishment , [he]_{435-her father} was heard without any attempt at reply ; but [he]_{435-her father} would have been startled , could [he]_{435-her father} have seen the pallid cheek , compressed lip , and clenched hand with which , when [he]_{435-her father} had left [her]_{586-his daughter} , [Eleanor]_91-eleanor muttered — " [Father]_107-father , if it be sin to leave [you]_107-father , be it on [your]_107-father own head . [I]_91-eleanor would have wedded with [your]_107-father consent , had [you]_107-father permitted it ; but now [my]_91-eleanor destiny is fixed . There is no peace in [England]_10-england : at least let [me]_91-eleanor be spared the agony of breaking another loving heart . "_[91-eleanor] Nearly three weeks rolled on , and [Eleanor]_91-eleanor 's extraordinary submission , and even in some degree withdrawal from society ( for which [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's arrival was a good excuse ) , caused [[her]_91-eleanor father]_{435-her father} 's irritation against [her]_91-eleanor almost entirely to subside . That [she]_91-eleanor passed several hours each day apart from [[her]_91-eleanor sister]_{325-her sister} , excited no surprise . [Emmeline]_78-emmeline was thankful even for [her]_91-eleanor change of deportment , but nothing confidential ever again passed between [them]_799-them . That reports were floating about , connecting the names of [Miss Manvers]_91-eleanor and [the late Lord Fitzclair]_{100-fitzclair} , seemed little heeded by [Eleanor]_91-eleanor , though they caused natural vexation to [[her]_91-eleanor family]_{800-her family} . About this time an invitation arrived for [Eleanor]_91-eleanor from [a lady of rank , slightly known to [[her]_91-eleanor father]_{435-her father} , and living ten miles from [Cheltenham]_{15-cheltenham} in [a beautiful villa]_{803-a beautiful villa} , at which [she]_91-eleanor expected [a select party of [fashionables]_{805-fashionables}]_{804-a select party of fashionables} to ruralize for a week or two]_{801-a lady of rank , slightly known to her father , and living ten miles from cheltenham in a beautiful villa , at which she expected a select party of fashionables to ruralize for a week or two} . There was nothing in the note to excite the dread that weighed on [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's spirits , as [Eleanor]_91-eleanor carelessly threw it to [her]_91-eleanor for [her]_91-eleanor perusal , but [she]_91-eleanor would not express it , as [Lord Delmont]_{92-lord delmont} seemed inclined that [Eleanor]_91-eleanor should accept it , knowing that [the lady]_{291-the lady} was much too exclusive for [Captain Fortescue]_{104-captain fortescue} to join [[her]_91-eleanor guests]_{807-her guests} , and believing that [Eleanor]_91-eleanor 's apparent indifference to the visit originated from that cause . Telling [her]_91-eleanor [he]_{435-her father} was so gratified by [her]_91-eleanor having devoted so many evenings to [[her]_91-eleanor sister]_{325-her sister} , [he]_{435-her father} added , [she]_91-eleanor had [his]_{435-her father} full consent to go if [she]_91-eleanor liked , as [he]_{435-her father} could better spare [her]_91-eleanor than when [Emmeline]_78-emmeline returned to [Oakwood]_12-oakwood . [She]_91-eleanor quietly thanked [him]_{435-her father} , but evinced no particular pleasure . The day before [her]_91-eleanor intended departure , [the sisters]_{809-the sisters} were sitting together , and [little Percy , who now ran firmly without any falls]_{810-little percy , who now ran firmly without any falls} , was playing about [the room]_{356-the room} . [He]_{810-little percy , who now ran firmly without any falls} had already displayed a high spirit and passionate temper , with [their]_{809-the sisters} general accompaniment , self - will , even in trifles , that [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} felt would render [her]_91-eleanor task a trying one ; but [she]_91-eleanor was as firm as [she]_91-eleanor was gentle , and faced the pain of contradicting [[her]_91-eleanor darling]_{336-her darling} bravely : — " Do not touch that , [Percy]_99-percy , love , "_[91-eleanor] [she]_91-eleanor said , as [[her]_91-eleanor little boy]_{727-her little boy} stretched out [his]_{727-her little boy} hand toward a beautiful but fragile toy , that stood with other nick - nacks on a low table . [The child]_{346-the child} looked laughingly and archly toward [her]_91-eleanor , and withdrew [his]_{727-her little boy} hand , but did not move from the table . " Come here , [Percy]_99-percy , [you]_99-percy have not played with these pretty things for a long time ; "_[91-eleanor] and [she]_91-eleanor took from [her]_91-eleanor work - box some gayly colored ivory balls , which had been [his]_{346-the child} favorite playthings , but just at present they had lost [their]_{809-the sisters} charm , and [the young gentleman]_{815-the young gentleman} did not move . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} knelt down by [him]_{815-the young gentleman} , and said quietly : " [[My]_{81-mrs. hamilton} Percy]_{3548-my percy} will not disobey [mamma]_3420-mamma , will [he]_{815-the young gentleman} ? "_{[81-mrs. hamilton]} " [Me]_{815-the young gentleman} want that ; "_{[815-the young gentleman]} [he]_{815-the young gentleman} replied , in the pretty coaxing tone of infancy ; and [he]_{815-the young gentleman} twined [his]_{815-the young gentleman} little round arms caressingly round [her]_91-eleanor neck . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} felt very much tempted to indulge [him]_{815-the young gentleman} , but [she]_91-eleanor resisted it . " But that is not a fit plaything for [you]_{815-the young gentleman} , love ; besides , it is not [mine]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , and [we]_3550-we must not touch what is not [ours]_3550-we . Come and see if [we]_3550-we can not find something just as pretty , that [you]_{815-the young gentleman} may have . "_[91-eleanor] And after some minutes ' merry play in [her]_91-eleanor lap [[his]_{815-the young gentleman} mother]_{330-his mother} hoped [he]_{815-the young gentleman} had forgotten it ; but [the little gentleman]_{817-the little gentleman} was not , [he]_{815-the young gentleman} thought , to be so governed . The forbidden plaything was quietly grasped , and [he]_{815-the young gentleman} seated [himself]_{815-the young gentleman} on the ground , in silent but triumphant glee . Surprised at [his]_{815-the young gentleman} sudden silence , [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} looked toward [him]_{815-the young gentleman} . It was [his]_{815-the young gentleman} first act of decided disobedience , and [she]_91-eleanor knew [she]_91-eleanor must not waver . Young as [he]_{815-the young gentleman} was , [he]_{815-the young gentleman} had already learned to know when [she]_91-eleanor was displeased , and when [she]_91-eleanor desired [him]_{815-the young gentleman} very gravely to give [her]_91-eleanor the toy , [he]_{815-the young gentleman} passionately threw it down , and burst into a violent fit of crying . [[His]_{815-the young gentleman} nurse]_{818-his nurse} took [him]_{815-the young gentleman} struggling from [the room]_{356-the room} , and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} quietly resumed [her]_91-eleanor work ; but there was such an expression of pain in [her]_91-eleanor countenance , that [Eleanor]_91-eleanor exclaimed , " [Emmeline]_78-emmeline ! [I]_91-eleanor have been watching [you]_78-emmeline for the last half hour , and [I]_91-eleanor can not comprehend [you]_78-emmeline . Do explain [yourself]_78-emmeline . "_[91-eleanor] " [I]_{81-mrs. hamilton} will if [I]_{81-mrs. hamilton} can ; "_{[81-mrs. hamilton]} and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} looked up , and smiled . " Why would [you]_78-emmeline not let [that poor little Percy]_{3551-that poor little percy} have that toy ? "_{[81-mrs. hamilton]} " Because it would have been encouraging [his]_{3551-that poor little percy} touching or taking every thing [he]_{3551-that poor little percy} sees , whether proper for [him]_{3551-that poor little percy} or not . "_[91-eleanor] " But [he]_{3551-that poor little percy} could not understand that . "_[91-eleanor] " Not now , perhaps ; but [I]_{81-mrs. hamilton} wish [him]_{3551-that poor little percy} to know that when [I]_{81-mrs. hamilton} speak , [he]_{3551-that poor little percy} must obey [me]_{81-mrs. hamilton} . It is , [I]_{81-mrs. hamilton} think , a mistaken doctrine , that [we]_3552-we ought to give [children]_{3553-children} a reason for all [we]_3552-we desire [them]_{3553-children} to do . Obedience can then never be prompt , as it ought to be . And , in fact , if [we]_3552-we wait until [they]_{3553-children} are old enough to understand the reasons for a command , the task will be much more difficult , from the ascendency which willfulness may already have obtained . "_{[81-mrs. hamilton]} " But then why were [you]_78-emmeline so cruel as to send [the poor child]_{399-the poor child} up - [stairs]_3445-stairs ? Was it not enough to take the toy from [him]_{3551-that poor little percy} ? "_[91-eleanor] " Not quite ; for [him]_{3551-that poor little percy} to remember that [he]_{3551-that poor little percy} must not touch it again . "_[91-eleanor] " And do [you]_78-emmeline really think [he]_{3551-that poor little percy} will not ? "_{[81-mrs. hamilton]} " [I]_91-eleanor can only hope so , [Eleanor]_91-eleanor ; but [I]_91-eleanor must not be disheartened if [he]_{3551-that poor little percy} do . [He]_{3551-that poor little percy} is [an infant]_{3556-an infant} still , and [I]_91-eleanor can not expect [him]_{3551-that poor little percy} to learn such a difficult lesson as obedience in one , two , or six lessons . "_[91-eleanor] " And will [he]_{3551-that poor little percy} love [you]_91-eleanor as much as if [you]_91-eleanor had given it to [him]_{3551-that poor little percy} ? "_[91-eleanor] " Not at the moment , perhaps , but when [he]_{3551-that poor little percy} is older [he]_{3551-that poor little percy} will love [me]_{81-mrs. hamilton} more . And it is that hope which reconciles [me]_{81-mrs. hamilton} to the pain which refusing to indulge [him]_{3551-that poor little percy} costs [me]_{81-mrs. hamilton} now . "_{[81-mrs. hamilton]} " And voluntarily [you]_91-eleanor will bear the pain which had almost brought tears into the eyes of [the severe and stoical Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} ! "_[91-eleanor] exclaimed [Eleanor]_91-eleanor . " It was a foolish weakness , [[my]_91-eleanor dear]_{3485-my dear} [Eleanor]_91-eleanor , for which [[my]_91-eleanor husband]_{3521-my husband} would have chidden [me]_91-eleanor ; but there must be pain to [a mother]_{3503-a mother} if called upon to exert authority , when inclination so strongly points to indulgence . "_[91-eleanor] " Well , if ever [I]_{81-mrs. hamilton} have any thing to do with [children]_{3553-children} , [I]_{81-mrs. hamilton} certainly shall not be half as particular as [you]_91-eleanor are , [Emmeline]_78-emmeline . [I]_{81-mrs. hamilton} really can not imagine what harm gratifying [myself]_{81-mrs. hamilton} and [Percy]_99-percy could possibly have done . "_{[81-mrs. hamilton]} " If ever [you]_91-eleanor have [children]_{3553-children} , [[my]_{81-mrs. hamilton} dear]_{3485-my dear} [Eleanor]_91-eleanor , may [you]_91-eleanor have strength of mind and self - control sufficient to forget self , and refuse the gratification of the present moment for the welfare of future years ! "_{[81-mrs. hamilton]} [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} spoke impressively , and something , either in [her]_820-her words or tone , caused the blood to rush into [Eleanor]_91-eleanor 's cheeks , and [she]_820-her hastily walked to the window ; then , as abruptly returning , [she]_820-her kissed [[her]_820-her sister]_{325-her sister} , a very rare token of affection , and declaring [she]_820-her was much too good for [her]_820-her to understand , quitted [the room]_{356-the room} . The following day , dressed for [her]_820-her visit , and only waiting for [the carriage]_{3444-the carriage} , [Eleanor]_91-eleanor , accompanied by [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} and [[her]_820-her little boys]_{824-her little boys} , entered [the same apartment]_{825-the same apartment} . Though not in general fond of nursing , [Eleanor]_91-eleanor had taken [Herbert]_102-herbert in [her]_91-eleanor arms , and was playing with [him]_102-herbert with unusual fondness ; [Percy]_99-percy , who had not seen the tempting plaything since [his]_99-percy banishment the preceding day , the moment [his]_99-percy eye caught it , to the astonishment of [Eleanor]_91-eleanor , ran up to [[his]_102-herbert mother]_{330-his mother} , and lisping , " [Me]_99-percy no touch that — [Percy good boy]_{3563-percy good boy} now , "_[99-percy] held up [his]_102-herbert little face lovingly to [hers]_91-eleanor , and with a very pardonable feeling of delight , [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} lifted [him]_102-herbert up and covered [him]_102-herbert with kisses . The feelings which thrilled through [Eleanor]_91-eleanor at that moment [she]_91-eleanor might indeed have found it difficult to explain , but [she]_91-eleanor was so conscious of a change of countenance as to hide [her]_91-eleanor face on [Herbert]_102-herbert 's head . It might have been obedience and disobedience brought so suddenly and strangely in contrast — and who were [the actors]_{827-the actors} ? [an infant]_{3556-an infant} and [herself]_91-eleanor . For a minute [she]_91-eleanor recovered , stricken with sudden and agonized remorse ; but it was too late , [she]_91-eleanor had gone too far , and the announcement of [the carriage]_{3444-the carriage} was a relief from that bitter moment of painful indecision . Placing [[her]_91-eleanor baby nephew]_{830-her baby nephew} in [[his]_102-herbert nurse]_{818-his nurse} 's arms , [she]_91-eleanor said , caressingly , " Will not [Percy]_99-percy give [Lina]_108-lina some of those kisses as well as [mamma]_3420-mamma ? "_[91-eleanor] [The child]_{346-the child} threw one little arm round [her]_91-eleanor neck , and the other round that of [[his]_{346-the child} mother]_{330-his mother} , and then burst into a merry laugh at thus seeing [himself]_{346-the child} as it were a link between [them]_834-them . Never had it seemed to [Eleanor]_91-eleanor that [she]_91-eleanor had loved and admired [[her]_91-eleanor sister]_{325-her sister} as [she]_91-eleanor did at that moment ; all the neglect , unkindness , [she]_91-eleanor had shown [her]_91-eleanor , all the sarcasm and satire , of which , either before or behind [her]_91-eleanor , [she]_91-eleanor had so often made [her]_91-eleanor the victim , combined with an intense , but how painfully vain longing to have resembled [her]_91-eleanor in the remotest degree , rather than be the character which had never before appeared so degraded , so hateful — almost overpowered [her]_91-eleanor — a convulsive sob escaped [her]_91-eleanor as [she]_91-eleanor clasped [Emmeline]_78-emmeline in a close embrace , and almost choked [her]_91-eleanor hurried good - by ! [Lord Delmont]_{92-lord delmont} and [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} were in [the hall]_{836-the hall} , and [the former]_{313-the former} was surprised and delighted at the warmth with which [[his]_{313-the former} usually reckless child]_{838-his usually reckless child} returned [his]_{313-the former} kiss and farewell ; [the carriage]_{3444-the carriage} drove off leaving unusual hope and cheerfulness behind [it]_{3444-the carriage} . Alas ! in one short fortnight every rising hope was blighted , [Emmeline]_78-emmeline 's momentary dread fulfilled , and [Lord Delmont]_{92-lord delmont} experiencing , in all [its]_840-its agony , How sharper than a serpent 's tooth it is , To have [a thankless child]_{841-a thankless child} " From the moment [Arthur Hamilton]_{84-arthur hamilton} returned to [Cheltenham]_{15-cheltenham} with the painful intelligence that [he]_{84-arthur hamilton} had arrived at [Leith]_17-leith only in time to witness the departure of the beautiful vessel which contained [Captain Fortescue]_{104-captain fortescue} and [the exquisitely lovely bride who had , it seemed , turned the heads of all the usually quiet Scotsmen who had seen [her]_78-emmeline]_{3565-the exquisitely lovely bride who had , it seemed , turned the heads of all the usually quiet scotsmen who had seen her} , [Lord Delmont]_{92-lord delmont} gradually sunk . The agony of losing [her]_78-emmeline forever — for so [he]_{92-lord delmont} regarded [her]_78-emmeline departure for , and residence in [India]_7-india for an indeterminate time — conquered every other feeling . [Her]_78-emmeline conduct had caused emotions of anguish far too deep for the relieving sensation of anger . The name of [the lady from whose house and by whose connivance [she]_78-emmeline had eloped]_{3566-the lady from whose house and by whose connivance she had eloped} , [he]_{92-lord delmont} was never heard to breathe ; but , if ever casually mentioned before [him]_{92-lord delmont} , every feature would become convulsed , and [he]_{92-lord delmont} would instantly leave [the room]_{356-the room} . Often and often [he]_{92-lord delmont} accused [his]_{92-lord delmont} own harshness as the cause of driving [her]_78-emmeline from [him]_{92-lord delmont} , and then came , with overwhelming bitterness , the thought that if [he]_{92-lord delmont} lately had been harsh , surely the recollection of all the indulgent fondness [he]_{92-lord delmont} had shown demanded some gratitude in return . If [she]_78-emmeline had but written , had but expressed one wish for [his]_{92-lord delmont} continued love , one regret for [his]_{92-lord delmont} present pain ! But no letter came , and the contending but all - depressing emotions so completely undermined a constitution never very strong , and already worn by care , that when another and still heavier trial came , [he]_{92-lord delmont} sunk at once beneath it . Though [Eleanor]_91-eleanor had been [his]_{92-lord delmont} favorite , [his]_{92-lord delmont} feelings of pride and hope had greatly centered in [[his]_{92-lord delmont} son]_{514-his son} , whose career , in five years ' active service on board [a man - of - war]_{3569-a man - of - war} , had been such as to raise [him]_{514-his son} already to a lieutenancy , and excite every gratifying emotion , not only in [[his]_{514-his son} immediate family]_{3570-his immediate family} , but in a large circle of [admiring friends]_{3571-admiring friends} . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's love for [[her]_78-emmeline brother]_{384-her brother} had naturally increased , strong as it always had been , even in childhood — and the visits which [Charles]_94-charles had been enabled to make to [Oakwood]_12-oakwood , brief in duration as [they]_3573-they were compelled to be , had always been fraught with heartfelt , joyous happiness , not only to [herself]_78-emmeline but to [[her]_78-emmeline husband]_{340-her husband} . The pain and anxiety attendant on [Eleanor]_91-eleanor 's elopement , and the dread of its effects on [Lord Delmont]_{92-lord delmont} , had for two or three months been the sole subject of thought ; but at length , and , like a fearful flash bringing a new sorrow to light , it pressed upon [them]_3573-they that it was long after the period that intelligence of [Charles]_94-charles ought to have been received . Still hoping against hope , not only [the Delmont family]_{3575-the delmont family} , but [all who had [friends]_3577-friends and [relatives]_{3578-relatives} on board [the Leander]_{110-the leander}]_{3576-all who had friends and relatives on board the leander} , imagined that [she]_91-eleanor might have drifted from [her]_91-eleanor course , or been engaged on some secret and distant expedition , but that intelligence concerning [her]_91-eleanor would and must soon come . Alas ! after months of agonizing suspense , information was received that several planks and masts , bearing evidence of fire as well as water , and some sea - chests , bearing names , only too soon recognized as those of [some of [the Leander]_{3580-the leander} 's crew]_{3579-some of the leander 's crew} , had been cast off [the coast of [Barbary]_19-barbary]_{3581-the coast of barbary} , and there could be no more doubt that death or slavery — that fearful slavery which the bombardment of [Algiers]_20-algiers had so displayed to [European]_109-european eyes — was the portion of [all those beloved ones , for whom so many aching hearts and eyes had watched and wept in vain]_{3582-all those beloved ones , for whom so many aching hearts and eyes had watched and wept in vain} . It was a trial so terrible that [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} felt at first as if even submission had departed from [her]_91-eleanor ; and [she]_91-eleanor could almost have rebelled in spirit against the inscrutable decree , that had consigned [one so free from vice and evil , so full of happiness and worth]_{3583-one so free from vice and evil , so full of happiness and worth} , to a doom so terrible . Much as [she]_91-eleanor had loved and reverenced [[her]_91-eleanor husband]_{340-her husband} before , [she]_91-eleanor seemed never to have felt [his]_{340-her husband} worth and tenderness till then . It was [his]_{340-her husband} sympathy , [his]_{340-her husband} strength , that recalled [her]_91-eleanor to a sense of [her]_91-eleanor duty , and gave [her]_91-eleanor power to endure , by a realization once more of that submissiveness to [a Father]_{755-a father} 's will , which had never before failed [her]_91-eleanor . But time , though it softened the first anguish , had no power over the memories of [this brother]_{3586-this brother} , not even when the increasing cares and joys of maternity so fully engrossed [her]_91-eleanor , that the present and the future of [[her]_91-eleanor children]_{322-her children} appeared to have banished all of [her]_91-eleanor own past . [Lord Delmont]_{92-lord delmont} did not survive the mournful tidings of the certain wreck of [the Leander]_{110-the leander} above two months ; but [his]_{92-lord delmont} released spirit did not meet that of [[his]_{92-lord delmont} son]_{514-his son} . [Charles]_94-charles was not dead . [He]_94-charles toiled as [a slave]_{3477-a slave} long years in living death , before there was even a partial amelioration of [his]_94-charles sufferings . But no tidings of [him]_94-charles ever came , [a young child of three years old]_{3590-a young child of three years old} , [a distant branch of [the Manvers family]_{3592-the manvers family}]_{3591-a distant branch of the manvers family} , became [Lord Delmont]_{92-lord delmont} . Years rolled on , and [[Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's lot]_{3593-mrs. hamilton 's lot} was so full of tranquil happiness , so fraught with the innumerable daily joys of [a loving wife]_{3594-a loving wife} and [devoted mother]_{3595-devoted mother} , that [her]_91-eleanor prayer was ever rising for guidance , and gratitude , that prosperity might not unfit [her]_91-eleanor for the dark days of trial and adversity , when they should come . That [she]_91-eleanor had cares as well as joys could not be otherwise , when so intensely anxious to bring up [[her]_91-eleanor children]_{322-her children} with more regard to [their]_{322-her children} spiritual and moral welfare , than even the cultivation of [their]_{322-her children} intellect . [She]_91-eleanor was one of [those who thought still more of the training of the heart than of the mind , believing that were the first properly awakened , the latter]_{3597-those who thought still more of the training of the heart than of the mind , believing that were the first properly awakened , the latter} would need little incitement to exertion . [Two girls]_{3598-two girls} had been [the sole addition to [[her]_91-eleanor family]_{800-her family}]_{3599-the sole addition to her family} . One other wish , and one of many years ' standing , [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had it in [her]_91-eleanor power to fulfill . From childhood [she]_91-eleanor had been accustomed to think of [Lucy Harcourt]_111-lucy as one , to whom it might one day be in [her]_91-eleanor power to return the heavy debt of gratitude [she]_91-eleanor owed [[her]_91-eleanor mother]_{345-her mother} ; [she]_91-eleanor had been accustomed to correspond with [her]_111-lucy from very early years ; [Mrs. Harcourt]_{95-mrs. harcourt} delighting in creating a mutual interest between [[her]_{95-mrs. harcourt} pupil]_{536-her pupil} and [the child from whom circumstances had so sadly separated [her]_{95-mrs. harcourt}]_{3603-the child from whom circumstances had so sadly separated her} . When therefore an event of a very painful nature to [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} 's individual feelings compelled [her]_{112-miss harcourt} — as the only hope of regaining peace , and strengthening [her]_{112-miss harcourt} for the arduous duty of instruction , which [she]_{112-miss harcourt} knew , as [a single woman]_{3604-a single woman} , was [her]_{112-miss harcourt} sole source of independent subsistence — [she]_{112-miss harcourt} had no scruple in accepting that friendship which [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had so warmly proffered . A very few days of personal intercourse sufficed for mutual conviction , that correspondence had not deceived in the favorable impressions of either . [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} found , indeed , the friend [her]_{112-miss harcourt} aching spirit needed ; and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , long before the months of repose which [she]_{112-miss harcourt} had insisted should forestall the commencement of exertion were over , rejoiced in the conviction that [the daughter of [[her]_{112-miss harcourt} beloved]_{3606-her beloved} and [regretted friend]_{3607-regretted friend} was indeed well - fitted for that position in [[her]_{112-miss harcourt} family]_{800-her family} — [[her]_{112-miss harcourt} helper]_{3609-her helper} in the moral and intellectual training of [[her]_{112-miss harcourt} daughters]_{533-her daughters} — which [her]_{112-miss harcourt} vivid fancy had often pictured as so filled]_{3605-the daughter of her beloved and regretted friend was indeed well - fitted for that position in her family — her helper in the moral and intellectual training of her daughters — which her vivid fancy had often pictured as so filled} . [They]_{533-her daughters} were indeed but [infants]_3611-infants when [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} arrived ; but [Mr.]_3612-mr. and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} found means to overrule the honorable scruples which , on the part of [Lucy]_111-lucy , seemed at first against [their]_{533-her daughters} plan , and in [her]_111-lucy gradually returning health and peace , [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} not only rejoiced , but felt gratefully thankful that the wish of so many years ' standing , and which had seemed so little likely to be fulfilled , was absolutely accomplished , and [she]_{112-miss harcourt} could prove how deeply [she]_{112-miss harcourt} had loved and mourned [[her]_{112-miss harcourt} truly maternal friend]_{3613-her truly maternal friend} . It is astonishing how often , if an earnest , heartfelt desire for the gratification of some good feeling or for the performance of some good deed be steadily and unvaryingly held before [us]_3614-we , without any regard to its apparent impossibility , its accomplishment is at length obtained . It is supposed to be only done so in books , but this is a mistaken supposition , arising from the simple fact of [individuals]_{3615-individuals} so often forgetting [their]_{3615-individuals} own past , and failing steadily to pursue one object , regardless of the lapse of years . If [they]_{3615-individuals} looked into [themselves]_{3615-individuals} more often and more carefully , if [they]_{3615-individuals} sought consistency in desire and pursuit , [they]_{3615-individuals} would often be startled at [their]_{3615-individuals} connection , and that it is not so useless to wish and seek , when both are of such a nature as can be based on and strengthened by prayer , as it may seem . Human life presents as many startling connections and contingencies as romance — only , as [the actors not the observers of [this world]_{3617-this world} 's busy scene]_{3616-the actors not the observers of this world 's busy scene} , [we]_3614-we can not trace [them]_{3616-the actors not the observers of this world 's busy scene} as [we]_3614-we do in books . The thought of [Eleanor]_91-eleanor was the only dark shade in [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's life . [She]_{112-miss harcourt} had written to [her]_91-eleanor often , but communication with [India]_7-india was not then what it is now , and [her]_{112-miss harcourt} letters might not have reached [their]_{3615-individuals} destination ; especially as being in active service , [Captain Fortescue]_{104-captain fortescue} was [himself]_{104-captain fortescue} constantly changing [[his]_{104-captain fortescue} quarters]_{3618-his quarters} . Whatever the cause ( for [Eleanor]_91-eleanor 's letters , [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} thought , might also have miscarried ) , [she]_{112-miss harcourt} heard nothing of [her]_91-eleanor till the hurried epistle commenced by [[her]_{112-miss harcourt} sister]_{325-her sister} , and finished by [Mr. Myrvin]_{74-mr. myrvin} , brought the startling intelligence that [she]_{112-miss harcourt} was [a widow]_{587-a widow} and dying , unable to reach [Oakwood]_12-oakwood , where [she]_{112-miss harcourt} had hoped at least to have sufficient strength to bring [[her]_{112-miss harcourt} children]_{322-her children} , and implore for [them]_{322-her children} protection and love and conjuring [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} to come to [her]_{112-miss harcourt} without delay . The letter , imperfectly directed , had been days on its journey , and it was with the most melancholy forebodings [Mr.]_3622-mr. and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had started for [Llangwillan]_{4-llangwillan} . But though it was not till many years after [Edward]_76-edward and [Ellen Fortescue]_113-ellen became [inmates of [[her]_{112-miss harcourt} family]_{800-her family}]_{3623-inmates of her family} that [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} became acquainted with all the particulars of [their]_{322-her children} childhood , it is necessary that [[our]_3625-our readers]_{524-our readers} should be rather more enlightened ; otherwise the character of [Ellen]_113-ellen may be to [them]_{524-our readers} as unnatural and as incomprehensible as it was to [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} . That [Eleanor]_91-eleanor could realize true happiness in a marriage entered into only because [she]_91-eleanor could not bear the torture of [her]_91-eleanor own thoughts , and [her]_91-eleanor constant dread of [the world]_{592-the world} 's contumely , was not likely . At first , indeed , it was a very delightful thing to find [herself]_91-eleanor the object not only of devotion to [[her]_91-eleanor husband]_{340-her husband} ( whom , could [she]_91-eleanor entirely have forgotten [Fitzclair]_{100-fitzclair} , [she]_91-eleanor might have really loved ) , but a still more brilliant star in [India]_7-india than [she]_91-eleanor had even been in [England]_10-england . Though [Captain Fortescue]_{104-captain fortescue} was often engaged in marches and countermarches , where [Eleanor]_91-eleanor sometimes , though very rarely , accompanied [him]_{104-captain fortescue} , still there were intervals of rest for [him]_{104-captain fortescue} in [the larger cities]_{3630-the larger cities} , where [[his]_{104-captain fortescue} wife]_{521-his wife} ever shone pre - eminent . For the first three or four years , the pride [he]_{104-captain fortescue} felt in seeing [her]_{521-his wife} so universally admired , in the greater attention [he]_{104-captain fortescue} received for [her]_{521-his wife} sake , compensated for , or concealed the qualities , which , as [[a soldier]_{3632-a soldier} 's wife]_{3633-a soldier 's wife} , [he]_{104-captain fortescue} had fondly believed [she]_{521-his wife} would possess . But as [his]_{104-captain fortescue} health , always delicate , became more and more undermined , and compelled [him]_{104-captain fortescue} to relinquish society , at least in a great measure , and to look for the quiet pleasures of domestic life , [he]_{104-captain fortescue} found , and bitter was that first awakening , that [his]_{104-captain fortescue} wishes , [his]_{104-captain fortescue} comfort , were of no importance . [She]_91-eleanor could not resign the pleasures of society — of still being enabled to pursue the dangerous amusement of [her]_91-eleanor girlhood ( though so guardedly that not a rumor against [her]_91-eleanor ever found breath ) , for the dullness of [[her]_91-eleanor home]_{576-her home} . Yet still [he]_{104-captain fortescue} loved [her]_91-eleanor ; and when [Eleanor]_91-eleanor , with all the fascinating playfulness of [her]_91-eleanor former self , would caress and try to persuade [him]_{104-captain fortescue} to go out with [her]_91-eleanor , and not sit moping at [home]_563-home , and that if [he]_{104-captain fortescue} would , [she]_91-eleanor would behave just as [he]_{104-captain fortescue} liked , and if [he]_{104-captain fortescue} did not care to see [her]_91-eleanor surrounded , as [she]_91-eleanor knew [she]_91-eleanor was , by red coats , [she]_91-eleanor would dismiss [them]_3636-them all , and devote [herself]_91-eleanor to [him]_{104-captain fortescue} — but indeed [she]_91-eleanor could not stay at [home]_563-home — [he]_{104-captain fortescue} would feel that it would be cruel indeed to chain [such a being]_{3638-such a being} to [his]_{104-captain fortescue} side , and sometimes make the exertion ( for which [he]_{104-captain fortescue} was little fitted ) to accompany [her]_91-eleanor ; at others , with kind words and indulgent love , permit [her]_91-eleanor to follow [her]_91-eleanor own wishes , and remain alone . But little did [he]_{104-captain fortescue} think the real reason that [Eleanor]_91-eleanor could not rest in quiet at [home]_563-home . The recollection of [Lord Fitzclair]_{100-fitzclair} was at such times so fearfully vivid , that the very agony [she]_91-eleanor had endured when first told of [his]_{104-captain fortescue} fearful end would return in all its intensity ; the thought : Had [[her]_91-eleanor father]_{435-her father} really cursed [her]_91-eleanor for [her]_91-eleanor disobedience , and was it that forever hovering round [her]_91-eleanor , preventing any thing like lasting happiness . And yet , by a strange contradiction , while the idea of [[her]_91-eleanor father]_{435-her father} 's curse shook [her]_91-eleanor whole frame at times with convulsive sobs , pride , that most fatal ingredient of [her]_91-eleanor character , utterly prevented all attempt on [her]_91-eleanor part to communicate with [[her]_91-eleanor relations]_{3642-her relations} . [She]_91-eleanor said , as [they]_3643-they had made no effort to conciliate , [she]_91-eleanor would not ; and yet the longing for [Emmeline]_78-emmeline sometimes became actually painful . [Eleanor]_91-eleanor was never intended for the heartless , reckless being [she]_91-eleanor had tried to become . It was a constant and most terrible struggle between the good and evil parts of [her]_91-eleanor nature , and though the evil triumphed — in the determination that nothing should change [her]_91-eleanor course of action , nothing compel [her]_91-eleanor to acknowledge [she]_91-eleanor had ever been in the wrong , and was really not the perfect creature which flattery was ever ready to pour into [her]_91-eleanor ear — the good had yet so much power as to make [her]_91-eleanor miserable , by the conviction , that [she]_91-eleanor was not what [she]_91-eleanor might have been — that [she]_91-eleanor never could be happy — that every pleasure was hollow , every amusement vain . Again and again the memories of [Emmeline]_78-emmeline 's gentle , sustaining , ever active piety would come before [her]_91-eleanor , as if beseeching [her]_91-eleanor to seek the only fount of peace ; but so terrible was the self - reproach , the anguish which the thought called up , that [she]_91-eleanor always turned from it with a shudder , resolved that religion was never meant for such as [herself]_91-eleanor , and that its restrictions should never enter [her]_91-eleanor mind , or its dictates pass [her]_91-eleanor lips . With the awakening intelligence of [[her]_91-eleanor son]_{326-her son} , however , there seemed one pleasure not wholly hollow — one enjoyment without the shadow of alloy ; and [she]_91-eleanor grasped it with an avidity and a constancy , that in a character generally so wavering and inconsistent was almost incredible . That [[her]_91-eleanor son]_{326-her son} was from [his]_{326-her son} earliest infancy the image of [herself]_91-eleanor , might have added strength to the feeling ; but the intense love , almost idolatry , [she]_91-eleanor felt toward [him]_{326-her son} , increasing with [his]_{326-her son} growth , did much toward banishing the unpleasant feelings of remorse and home - sickness . [She]_91-eleanor devoted [herself]_91-eleanor to [[her]_91-eleanor boy]_{3646-her boy} , not judiciously indeed , for [she]_91-eleanor was not one to practice self - denial in education ; and as [Edward]_76-edward 's disposition was not one to cause [her]_91-eleanor annoyance , even from over - indulgence , there was not even the check of [his]_76-edward ill - temper or rudeness toward [herself]_91-eleanor , to whisper the fearful evil [she]_91-eleanor was engendering . What was the emotion which had so riveted [her]_91-eleanor to [[her]_91-eleanor son]_{326-her son} , it might have been difficult to ascertain ; it could scarcely have been the mere instinct of maternity , for then it would have extended to [[her]_91-eleanor daughter]_{309-her daughter} ; but as complete as was [her]_91-eleanor indulgence to [Edward]_76-edward , so was [her]_91-eleanor neglect of [Ellen]_113-ellen . [Colonel Fortescue]_{114-colonel fortescue} ( for [he]_{114-colonel fortescue} had gradually attained that rank ) had borne , without complaint , neglect of [himself]_{114-colonel fortescue} ; nay , it had not had power in the least degree to diminish [his]_{114-colonel fortescue} love , though it might have awakened [him]_{114-colonel fortescue} to the consciousness that [[his]_{114-colonel fortescue} wife]_{521-his wife} was indeed not perfect . [Her]_{521-his wife} devotion to [Edward]_76-edward , even undertaking the toilsome task of instruction , had delighted [him]_{114-colonel fortescue} ; for , at first , having been much from [home]_563-home , [he]_{114-colonel fortescue} was not conscious of the lonely fate of [[his]_{114-colonel fortescue} little girl]_{3651-his little girl} ; but when the truth became evident , that [she]_{521-his wife} was an object almost of dislike — that [she]_{521-his wife} was left entirely to the tender mercies of [a hireling]_{3652-a hireling} , and [Eleanor]_91-eleanor only alluded to [her]_{521-his wife} , to contrast [her]_{521-his wife} peevishness and stupidity with [Edward]_76-edward 's happiness and intellect , all [the father]_{554-the father} was roused within [him]_{114-colonel fortescue} , and , for the first time , [he]_{114-colonel fortescue} felt and expressed serious displeasure . [He]_{114-colonel fortescue} acknowledged that [[his]_{114-colonel fortescue} son]_{514-his son} might , indeed , be superior in beauty and talent , but [he]_{114-colonel fortescue} would not allow that [Ellen]_113-ellen 's affections were less warm , or [her]_113-ellen temper less capable of guidance . To [him]_{114-colonel fortescue} , and to [all who had in the least attended to childhood]_{3655-all who had in the least attended to childhood} , [Ellen]_113-ellen 's face , even from infancy , expressed not ill - temper , but suffering . Continually ill , for [she]_113-ellen inherited [[her]_113-ellen father]_{435-her father} 's constitution , [the poor little infant]_{3657-the poor little infant} was constantly crying or fretful ; which [Eleanor]_91-eleanor ; never having known what illness was , attributed at once to a naturally evil temper which annoyed [her]_113-ellen . [The nurse]_{716-the nurse} , as ignorant as [she]_{716-the nurse} was obsequious , adopted the same opinion ; and , before [she]_{716-the nurse} was even three years old , harshness , both by [nurse]_3659-nurse and [mother]_3430-mother , had been constantly used , to make [Ellen]_113-ellen as good a child as [[her]_{716-the nurse} brother]_{384-her brother} . In vain did [the colonel]_{3662-the colonel} , when [he]_{3662-the colonel} became aware of this treatment , remonstrate that it was the illness of [the poor child]_{399-the poor child} — neither obstinacy nor ill - temper : [[his]_{3662-the colonel} wife]_{521-his wife} would not understand [him]_{3662-the colonel} , and at length [he]_{3662-the colonel} sternly and peremptorily declared , that as [she]_{521-his wife} had [her]_{521-his wife} will with [Edward]_76-edward , [he]_{3662-the colonel} would have [his]_{3662-the colonel} with [Ellen]_113-ellen , and that no chastisement should be inflicted . If [she]_{521-his wife} did wrong , [he]_{3662-the colonel} was to be told of it , and if necessary [he]_{3662-the colonel} would reprove [her]_{521-his wife} , but [he]_{3662-the colonel} would allow no other interference . [Mrs. Fortescue]_{73-mrs. fortescue} made not the least objection , believing that as [[her]_{521-his wife} husband]_{340-her husband} had thus taken [her]_{521-his wife} in charge , [she]_{521-his wife} was exonerated from all blame if [she]_{521-his wife} left [her]_{521-his wife} entirely to [him]_{3662-the colonel} . Only too quickly did [the poor child]_{399-the poor child} discover that [the lovely being whom [she]_{521-his wife} called [mother]_3430-mother]_{3667-the lovely being whom she called mother} , and whom [she]_{521-his wife} loved so fondly , had no love , no caress for [her]_{521-his wife} . Repeated punishment , though it had only extended to [her]_{521-his wife} fifth year , had completely crushed the gentle , tender spirit , that had required such judicious nursing ; and combined with physical suffering , instead of deadening the feelings , as in some dispositions it would have done , had rendered them morbidly acute — an effect which constant loneliness naturally deepened . [[Her]_{521-his wife} father]_{435-her father} 's love and caresses had caused [her]_{521-his wife} to cling to [him]_{3662-the colonel} so passionately , that every word [he]_{3662-the colonel} said , every request [he]_{3662-the colonel} made [her]_{521-his wife} , was treasured and thought upon , when [he]_{3662-the colonel} was away from [her]_{521-his wife} , with a tenacity [many]_640-many would have fancied unnatural in [a child]_{265-a child} . [He]_{3662-the colonel} taught [her]_{521-his wife} , though [his]_{3662-the colonel} heart often bled as [he]_{3662-the colonel} did so ( for what claim had [[her]_{521-his wife} mother]_{345-her mother} upon the feelings [he]_{3662-the colonel} sought to inculcate ) , to love , honor , and obey [[her]_{521-his wife} mother]_{345-her mother} in all things ; that if [she]_{521-his wife} did so , [she]_{521-his wife} would be as happy as [Edward]_76-edward in time , and [Ellen]_113-ellen , though [she]_113-ellen did not understand [him]_{3662-the colonel} , obeyed ; but [Colonel Fortescue]_{114-colonel fortescue} little imagined the evil which was accruing from these very natural lessons . [Ellen]_113-ellen learned to believe that , as [[her]_113-ellen mother]_{345-her mother} never noticed [her]_113-ellen , except in accounts of anger or irritation , it must be [her]_113-ellen own fault . [She]_113-ellen longed to be beautiful and buoyant as [Edward]_76-edward ; and that [she]_113-ellen was neither , marked [her]_113-ellen in [her]_113-ellen own young mind as so inferior , it was no wonder [[her]_113-ellen mother]_{345-her mother} could not caress or love [her]_113-ellen . Had [Edward]_76-edward presumed on [his]_76-edward favoritism , and been unkind or neglectful , [she]_113-ellen might , perhaps , have envied more than [she]_113-ellen loved [him]_76-edward ; but [his]_76-edward disposition was naturally so noble , so open - hearted , so generous , that [he]_76-edward always treated [her]_113-ellen with affection , and would share with [her]_113-ellen [his]_76-edward playthings and sweets , even while [he]_76-edward could not but believe [her]_113-ellen in all things [[his]_76-edward inferior]_{3676-his inferior} ; and that as such , of course , [her]_113-ellen wishes could never cross with [his]_76-edward . [Poor child]_{3677-poor child} , [she]_113-ellen scarcely knew what it was to wish , except that [she]_113-ellen might cling to [[her]_113-ellen mother]_{345-her mother} as [she]_113-ellen did to [[her]_113-ellen father]_{435-her father} , and that [she]_113-ellen could but be good and beautiful enough to win [her]_113-ellen love ! The lesson of concealment of every feeling is but too easily and too early learned . Tears do not flow even from childhood , when always rudely checked , and angrily reproved . Affection can not display itself unless called forth ; and so the very outward seeming of [children]_{3553-children} is more in [a parent]_{451-a parent} 's hand than [mere superficial observers]_{3682-mere superficial observers} may believe : and [Mrs. Fortescue]_{73-mrs. fortescue} blamed and disliked the cold inanimate exterior which [she]_{73-mrs. fortescue} had never tried to warm . [Ellen]_113-ellen 's extreme difficulty in acquiring knowledge , compared with [Edward]_76-edward 's extraordinary quickness , only confirmed [her]_113-ellen painful conviction of [her]_113-ellen great inferiority , the impossibility of [her]_113-ellen ever winning love — and the consequent increased intensity of [her]_113-ellen affection for [[her]_113-ellen father]_{435-her father} and [brother]_391-brother , who loved [her]_113-ellen notwithstanding . That [the child]_{346-the child} [herself]_{346-the child} could not have defined these sensations is true , but that they had existence , even before [she]_113-ellen was nine years old , and that they influenced many years of [her]_113-ellen after - life , causing error and suffering , and rendering [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's task one of pain and difficulty , before these mistaken influences could be eradicated , is equally so . The power over early years is so immense , its responsibility so extensive , its neglect or abuse may indeed make [the earnest thinker]_{3686-the earnest thinker} tremble ; less , perhaps , for the actual amount of general evil , for that circumstances in after life are sometimes graciously permitted to avert , but for individual suffering and individual joy — and especially is this the case in the training of [girls]_3687-girls . More enduring in [their]_3687-girls very fragility than [boys]_3688-boys , [they]_3687-girls may be compared to those precious metals which fire and water and pressure have no power to break , but simply to draw out to a thinner and thinner thread , dwindling more and more , but to its last spider - woven fineness capable of tenuity and vitality . While [boys]_3688-boys , like [men]_3690-men , are often crushed at once — the frame of [the one]_{3691-the one} and the spirit of [the other]_{3692-the other} equally unable to endure . The displeasure of [[her]_113-ellen husband]_{340-her husband} , [his]_{340-her husband} reproaches for [her]_113-ellen conduct to [Ellen]_113-ellen , by causing some degree of annoyance , increased [Mrs. Fortescue]_{73-mrs. fortescue} 's feelings of dislike toward [the object who had caused it]_{3694-the object who had caused it} , and this was soon afterward heightened by self - reproach . A malignant fever broke out in [the British settlement where [Colonel Fortescue]_{114-colonel fortescue} was stationed]_{3695-the british settlement where colonel fortescue was stationed} ; [[his]_{114-colonel fortescue} wife]_{521-his wife} and [children]_{3553-children} were with [him]_{114-colonel fortescue} , and , dreadfully alarmed , [Eleanor]_91-eleanor determined to remove with [[her]_91-eleanor children]_{322-her children} to [some less unhealthy spot]_{3699-some less unhealthy spot} . [The colonel]_{3662-the colonel} willingly consented ; but before [their]_3701-their hasty preparations were concluded [Ellen]_113-ellen sickened . Alarm for [Edward]_76-edward , however , so engrossed [the mother]_{458-the mother} , that [she]_{458-the mother} appeared incapable of any other thought . In vain [Colonel Fortescue]_{114-colonel fortescue} urged that [[his]_{114-colonel fortescue} son]_{514-his son} would be safe with [the friends who had promised to take charge of [him]_{114-colonel fortescue} , and who were on the point of leaving [the city]_{3705-the city}]_{3704-the friends who had promised to take charge of him , and who were on the point of leaving the city} ; that there were none on whom [he]_{114-colonel fortescue} could depend so to tend [the little sufferer]_{3706-the little sufferer} as not to require a guiding head , and [she]_{458-the mother} knew how impossible it was for [him]_{114-colonel fortescue} to be with [[his]_{114-colonel fortescue} child]_{3707-his child} as [his]_{114-colonel fortescue} heart prompted . [He]_{114-colonel fortescue} urged , entreated , commanded in vain , [Mrs. Fortescue]_{73-mrs. fortescue} was inexorable . [She]_{73-mrs. fortescue} declared that the idea of [[her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} son]_{326-her son} being away from [her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} at such a time would drive [her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} mad ; and as for duty , [one child]_{449-one child} demanded [her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} care as much as another ; that [[her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} husband]_{340-her husband} might not care about thus exposing [her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} to infection , but [she]_{73-mrs. fortescue} really thought , for [Edward]_76-edward 's sake , it was [her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} duty to take care of [herself]_{73-mrs. fortescue} . It might be nothing to [the colonel]_{3662-the colonel} or [Ellen]_113-ellen whether [she]_{73-mrs. fortescue} lived or died , but to [Edward]_76-edward it was a great deal ; and so as [she]_{73-mrs. fortescue} must choose between [them]_3712-them , [she]_{73-mrs. fortescue} would go with [him]_76-edward who loved [her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} best , and who would be miserable without [her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} . The haughty , angry tone with which [she]_{73-mrs. fortescue} spoke , the unjust taunt , roused every indignant feeling , and [Colonel Fortescue]_{114-colonel fortescue} said more in that moment of irritation than [he]_{114-colonel fortescue} could have believed possible . But it only awakened the cold , sustaining pride which [Eleanor]_91-eleanor always called to [her]_91-eleanor aid when conscience smote [her]_91-eleanor , and [she]_{73-mrs. fortescue} departed with [[her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} son]_{326-her son} , hardening every better feeling , and rousing anger against [[her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} husband]_{340-her husband} and [child]_3715-child to conquer the suffering of self - reproach . But when many miles from [the city of death]_{3716-the city of death} , and there were no fears for [Edward]_76-edward , anxiety and wretchedness so assailed [her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} , that pride itself gave way . To communicate with [the infected city]_{3717-the infected city} was difficult , and very infrequent , and again and again did [she]_{73-mrs. fortescue} wish that [she]_{73-mrs. fortescue} had remained . During the continuance of [Ellen]_113-ellen 's illness [[her]_113-ellen father]_{435-her father} 's anguish was indeed terrible . Every leisure moment [he]_{114-colonel fortescue} spent by [her]_113-ellen side , moistening [her]_113-ellen parched lips , bathing [her]_113-ellen burning forehead , and listening to the plaintive accents of delirium with an acuteness of suffering , that injured [his]_{114-colonel fortescue} own health more than [he]_{114-colonel fortescue} had the least idea of . [The attendants]_{3719-the attendants} were really both kind and skillful , but [the colonel]_{3662-the colonel} fancied , when [he]_{114-colonel fortescue} was not with [her]_113-ellen , [she]_113-ellen was neglected , and in still greater suffering ; and the struggle between [his]_{114-colonel fortescue} duties and [[his]_{114-colonel fortescue} child]_{3707-his child} was almost more than [he]_{114-colonel fortescue} could bear . [He]_{114-colonel fortescue} had never been [a religious man]_{3722-a religious man} — never known what it was to pray , except in the public services of [[his]_{114-colonel fortescue} regiment]_{3723-his regiment} , but now prayer , earnest , heartfelt , poured from [him]_{114-colonel fortescue} , and the thankfulness to [God]_85-god , which so overpowered [him]_{114-colonel fortescue} , when [she]_113-ellen was pronounced out of danger , as to compel [him]_{114-colonel fortescue} to weep like [a child]_{265-a child} , planted a sense of [a Father]_{755-a father} 's infinite love and infinite compassion within [him]_{114-colonel fortescue} , which was [his]_{114-colonel fortescue} sole sustainer the short remainder of [his]_{114-colonel fortescue} life . [Eleanor]_91-eleanor 's letters , few as they were , had in some degree softened [his]_{114-colonel fortescue} anger toward [her]_113-ellen ; but as [he]_{114-colonel fortescue} beheld the ravages of disease on [[his]_{114-colonel fortescue} poor child]_{3726-his poor child} 's face and form , rendering [her]_113-ellen still less attractive than [she]_113-ellen had been , and perceived that bodily weakness had extended to [her]_113-ellen mind , and often and often forced tears from [her]_113-ellen eyes and momentary complainings , [he]_{114-colonel fortescue} trembled lest [Eleanor]_91-eleanor should find still more to dislike and reprove ; and often [his]_{114-colonel fortescue} heart bled as [Ellen]_113-ellen would ask with tears , for [[her]_113-ellen dear mamma]_{3727-her dear mamma} , adding , plaintively , "_[80-mamma] [Mamma]_80-mamma never kisses [me]_0-i or loves [me]_0-i as [she]_80-mamma does [Edward]_76-edward ; but [I]_0-i like to be near [her]_80-mamma , and look at [her]_80-mamma dear beautiful face , and wish [I]_0-i was good and pretty enough for [her]_80-mamma to love [me]_0-i . Why does [she]_80-mamma never come to [me?—and]_{842-me?—and} why may [I]_0-i not go to [her]_80-mamma ? " And what could [the colonel]_{3662-the colonel} reply , except that [[her]_113-ellen mother]_{345-her mother} feared [Edward]_76-edward would take the infection , and therefore [she]_113-ellen was obliged to go with [him]_{3662-the colonel} to [some place of safety]_{3730-some place of safety} ? And [[his]_{3662-the colonel} child]_{3707-his child} was satisfied , repeating so fondly [her]_113-ellen delight that [[her]_113-ellen dear]_{3732-her dear} , dear [Edward]_76-edward had been saved from being as ill as [she]_113-ellen was , that [[her]_113-ellen father]_{435-her father} clasped [her]_113-ellen closer and closer to [his]_{435-her father} heart , feeling the intrinsic beauty of a disposition that , instead of repining that [she]_113-ellen was left alone to suffer , could rejoice that [[her]_113-ellen brother]_{384-her brother} had been spared . [Colonel Fortescue]_{114-colonel fortescue} obtained a few weeks ' leave , that [he]_{114-colonel fortescue} might take [[his]_{114-colonel fortescue} child]_{3707-his child} to [the sea - side]_{3736-the sea - side} as recommended , ere [she]_113-ellen joined [[her]_113-ellen mother]_{345-her mother} . And alone with [him]_{114-colonel fortescue} , gradually regaining a moderate degree of strength , [Ellen]_113-ellen was very happy ; but such bright intervals were indeed few and far between . There was no change in [[her]_113-ellen mother]_{345-her mother} 's conduct toward [her]_113-ellen , when reunited . [Her]_113-ellen heart had , indeed , risen to [her]_113-ellen lips as [she]_113-ellen again beheld [the child so nearly lost]_{3739-the child so nearly lost} ; and had [she]_113-ellen followed impulse , [she]_113-ellen would have clasped [her]_{3707-his child} in [her]_113-ellen arms and wept over [her]_{3707-his child} , but that would have seemed tacitly to acknowledge that [she]_113-ellen had been wrong , and had suffered from it ; and so [she]_113-ellen refrained , causing suffering to [herself]_113-ellen , anguish to [[her]_113-ellen child]_{350-her child} , and pain to [[her]_113-ellen husband]_{340-her husband} , all from that fell demon , pride . [She]_113-ellen only chose to remember that it was [Ellen]_113-ellen who had been the cause of [[her]_113-ellen husband]_{340-her husband} 's anger — [Ellen]_113-ellen , the constant subject of contention between [them]_3743-them — [Ellen]_113-ellen , always causing the pang of self - reproach : and so how was it possible that [she]_{340-her husband} could love [her]_113-ellen ? About a year after [Ellen]_113-ellen 's dangerous illness , when [she]_113-ellen was nearly ten , and [Edward]_76-edward just eleven , [Colonel Fortescue]_{114-colonel fortescue} was ordered to take command of some troops to be stationed at [a fort]_{3744-a fort} , whose vicinity to [some hostile natives]_{3745-some hostile natives} rendered [it]_{3744-a fort} rather [a post of danger]_{3746-a post of danger} . [The wives and children of [the officers]_{3748-the officers}]_{3747-the wives and children of the officers} were permitted to accompany [them]_{3748-the officers} , if [they]_{3747-the wives and children of the officers} wished it , and , except in [[the colonel]_{3662-the colonel} 's own family]_{3750-the colonel 's own family} , there had been no hesitation in [their]_{3748-the officers} choice . [The colonel]_{3662-the colonel} was strangely and painfully depressed as with some vague dread , and all [his]_{3662-the colonel} affection for [[his]_{3662-the colonel} wife]_{521-his wife} had returned with such force as to make [him]_{3662-the colonel} shrink in unusual suffering from the idea of leaving [her]_{521-his wife} ; and conquering reluctance , for [he]_{3662-the colonel} felt as if [she]_{521-his wife} would not accede , [he]_{3662-the colonel} implored [her]_{521-his wife} to accompany [him]_{3662-the colonel} , confessing [he]_{3662-the colonel} felt ill and unhappy , and shrank from a separation . [[His]_{3662-the colonel} wife]_{521-his wife} looked at [him]_{3662-the colonel} with astonishment ; [he]_{3662-the colonel} had never asked nor thought of such a thing before , [she]_{521-his wife} said , in [their]_{3748-the officers} many brief partings , and [she]_{521-his wife} really could not understand [him]_{3662-the colonel} . [The place]_{3754-the place} was decidedly unhealthy , and [Edward]_76-edward must not be exposed to its malaria ; besides which , [she]_{521-his wife} had promised [him]_{3662-the colonel} to go to a juvenile ball , which was given by [an English family of rank]_{3755-an english family of rank} , in a fortnight 's time , and [she]_{521-his wife} could not possibly disappoint [him]_{3662-the colonel} ; and why [[her]_{521-his wife} husband]_{340-her husband} should wish for [her]_{521-his wife} in such a place [she]_{521-his wife} could not imagine , but [she]_{521-his wife} knew [she]_{521-his wife} should die of terror before [she]_{521-his wife} had been [there]_320-there a week . Not a word did [the colonel]_{3662-the colonel} utter in reply , but [he]_{3662-the colonel} felt as if an ice - bolt had struck [his]_{3662-the colonel} heart and frozen it at once . [He]_{3662-the colonel} fixed [his]_{3662-the colonel} eyes upon [her]_{521-his wife} , with a strange , sad , reproaching look , which haunted [her]_{521-his wife} till [her]_{521-his wife} death , and turning from [her]_{521-his wife} , sought [the room where [Ellen]_113-ellen was preparing [her]_113-ellen lessons for the joyful hour when [he]_{3662-the colonel} could attend to [her]_{521-his wife}]_{3759-the room where ellen was preparing her lessons for the joyful hour when he could attend to her} . As [she]_{521-his wife} sprung toward [him]_{3662-the colonel} with a cry of glee , [he]_{3662-the colonel} clasped [her]_{521-his wife} to [his]_{3662-the colonel} bosom , without the power of uttering a sound , save a groan so deep and hollow , that [the child]_{346-the child} 's unusual glee was checked , and [she]_{521-his wife} clung to [him]_{3662-the colonel} in terror ; and when [he]_{3662-the colonel} could tell [her]_{521-his wife} that [he]_{3662-the colonel} was about to leave [her]_{521-his wife} , and for an indefinite time , [her]_{521-his wife} passionate grief seemed almost to comfort [him]_{3662-the colonel} , by its strong evidence of [her]_{521-his wife} childish love . "_{[842-me?—and]} Let [me]_0-i go with [you]_843-you , [papa]_3546-papa , [dear papa]_{845-dear papa} ! oh ! [I]_0-i will be so good — [I]_0-i will not give [you]_843-you any trouble , indeed , indeed [I]_0-i will not . Pray , pray , take [me]_0-i with [you]_843-you , [dear]_3435-dear , [dear papa]_{845-dear papa} ? " And [she]_{521-his wife} looked in [his]_{3662-the colonel} face so beseechingly , that [the colonel]_{3662-the colonel} had no strength to resist , and fondly kissing [her]_{521-his wife} , [he]_{3662-the colonel} promised that if [Mrs. Cameron]_{115-mrs. cameron} would permit [her]_{521-his wife} to join [[her]_{521-his wife} little family]_{3762-her little family} , [she]_{521-his wife} should go with [him]_{3662-the colonel} : and , to [Ellen]_113-ellen 's intense thankfulness , the permission was willingly accorded . [Mrs. Fortescue]_{73-mrs. fortescue} had indeed replied , when [[her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} husband]_{340-her husband} briefly imparted [his]_{3662-the colonel} intention , that [he]_{3662-the colonel} certainly must intend [Ellen]_113-ellen to be ill again , by exposing [her]_113-ellen to such an unhealthy climate ; and that if [she]_113-ellen were , [he]_{3662-the colonel} must not be angry if [she]_{3662-the colonel} refused to go and nurse [her]_113-ellen , as it would be all [his]_{3662-the colonel} weak indulgence , and no fault of [hers]_{73-mrs. fortescue} . [The colonel]_{3662-the colonel} made no answer , and irritated beyond measure at [his]_{3662-the colonel} manner , [Eleanor]_91-eleanor parted from [[her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} husband]_{340-her husband} in coldness and in pride . The fortnight passed , and [Mrs. Fortescue]_{73-mrs. fortescue} felt as if [her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} own youth were indeed renewed , the longings for universal admiration again [her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} own ; but now it was only for [[her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} son]_{326-her son} , and [her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} triumph was complete ; many and lovely were the youthful beings called together on that festive night , seeming as if [England]_10-england had concentrated [her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} fairest and purest offspring in [that far distant land]_{3767-that far distant land} ; but [Edward]_76-edward , and [[his]_76-edward still lovely mother]_{3768-his still lovely mother} , outshone [them]_3769-them all . That [she]_{73-mrs. fortescue} was [herself]_{73-mrs. fortescue} admired as much , if not more , than [she]_{73-mrs. fortescue} had ever been in [her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} palmy days of triumph , [Eleanor]_91-eleanor scarcely knew ; [her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} every feeling was centered in [[her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} boy]_{3646-her boy} , and consequently the supercilious haughtiness which had so often marred [her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} beauty in former days was entirely laid aside , and maternal pride and pleasure gratified to the utmost , added a new charm to [her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} every movement and every word . [She]_{73-mrs. fortescue} heard the universal burst of admiration which greeted [her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} , as to oblige [Edward]_76-edward [she]_{73-mrs. fortescue} went through a quadrille with [him]_76-edward , and never in [her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} whole career had [she]_{73-mrs. fortescue} felt so triumphant , so proud , so joyous . During the past fortnight [she]_{73-mrs. fortescue} had often been tormented by self - reproach , and [[her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} husband]_{340-her husband} 's look had disagreeably haunted [her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} ; but this night not a fleeting thought of either [the colonel]_{3662-the colonel} or [Ellen]_113-ellen entered [her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} mind , and [her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} pleasure was complete . Tired with dancing , and rather oppressed with the heat , [Eleanor]_91-eleanor quitted [the crowded ball - room]_{3773-the crowded ball - room} , and stood for a few minutes quite alone in a solitary part of [the verandah]_{3774-the verandah} , which , covered with lovely flowers , ran round [the house]_{3775-the house} . The music in [the ball - room]_{3776-the ball - room} sounded in the distance as if borne by the night breeze in softened harmony over [the distant hills]_{3777-the distant hills} . The moon was at the full , and lit up nearly [the whole garden]_{3778-the whole garden} with the refulgence of a milder day . At that moment a cold chill crept over the heart and frame of [Eleanor]_91-eleanor , causing [her]_91-eleanor breath to come thick and gaspingly . Why , [she]_{73-mrs. fortescue} knew not , for there was nothing visible to cause it , save that , in one part of [the garden]_{3457-the garden} , a cluster of dark shrubs , only partly illuminated by the rays of the moon , seemed suddenly to have assumed the shape of a funeral bier , covered with a military pall . At the same moment the music in [the ball - room]_{3776-the ball - room} seemed changed to the low wailing plaint and muffled drums , the military homage to some mighty dead . And if it were indeed but excited fancy , it had a strange effect , for [Eleanor]_91-eleanor fainted on the marble floor . That same afternoon [Colonel Fortescue]_{114-colonel fortescue} , with [some picked men]_{3781-some picked men} , had set off to discover the track of [some marauding natives , who for some days had been observed hovering about the neighborhood]_{3782-some marauding natives , who for some days had been observed hovering about the neighborhood} . Military ardor carried [him]_{114-colonel fortescue} farther than [he]_{114-colonel fortescue} intended , and it was nearly night , when entering [a narrow defile]_{3783-a narrow defile} , [a large body of [the enemy]_{3785-the enemy}]_{3784-a large body of the enemy} burst upon [them]_3786-them , and a desperate contest ensued . [The defile]_{3787-the defile} was so hemmed in with rock and mountain , that though not very distant from [the fort]_{3788-the fort} , the noise of the engagement had not been distinguished . [Captain Cameron]_{116-captain cameron} was quietly sitting with [[his]_{116-captain cameron} wife]_{521-his wife} and [elder children]_{3790-elder children} , awaiting without any forebodings the return of [the colonel]_{3662-the colonel} . Though it was late , [Ellen]_113-ellen 's fears had been so visible , that [Mrs. Cameron]_{115-mrs. cameron} could not send [her]_113-ellen to bed ; [the child]_{346-the child} seemed so restless and uneasy that [the captain]_{3793-the captain} had tried to laugh [her]_113-ellen out of [her]_113-ellen cowardice , as [he]_{3793-the captain} called it , declaring that [[her]_113-ellen father]_{435-her father} would disown [her]_113-ellen if [she]_113-ellen could not be more brave . Hasty footsteps were at length heard approaching , and [Ellen]_113-ellen started from [her]_113-ellen seat and sprung forward , as the door opened ; but it was not [the colonel]_{3662-the colonel} , only [a sergeant]_{3796-a sergeant} , who had accompanied [him]_{3793-the captain} , and whose face caused [Captain Cameron]_{116-captain cameron} to exclaim , in alarm , "_[843-you] How now , [Sergeant Allen]_{117-sergeant allen} , returned , and alone ; what has chanced ? " "_[843-you] The worst those brown devils could have done ! " was the energetic reply . "_[843-you] [We]_848-we 've beaten [them]_849-them , and [we]_848-we will beat [them]_849-them again , [the villains]_{850-the villains} ! but that will not bring [him]_{117-sergeant allen} back — [captain]_851-captain — [captain]_851-captain — [the colonel]_{3662-the colonel} 's down ! " [The captain]_{3793-the captain} started from [his]_{3793-the captain} chair , but before [he]_{3793-the captain} could frame another word , [Ellen]_113-ellen had caught hold of [the old man]_{3798-the old man} 's arm , and wildly exclaimed , "_{[851-captain]} Do [you]_851-captain mean — do [you]_851-captain mean , pray tell [me]_0-i , Sergeant Allen!—Have [the natives]_{854-the natives} met [[papa]_3546-papa 's troop]_{856-papa 's troop} , and have [they]_{856-papa 's troop} fought?—and — is [he]_{117-sergeant allen} hurt — is [he]_{117-sergeant allen} killed ? " [The man]_{3799-the man} could not answer [her]_113-ellen — for [her]_113-ellen look and tone , [he]_{3799-the man} afterward declared to [[his]_{3799-the man} comrades]_{3800-his comrades} , went through [his]_{3799-the man} heart , just for all [the world]_{592-the world} like a saber cut ; and for the moment neither [Captain]_{116-captain cameron} nor [Mrs. Cameron]_{115-mrs. cameron} could address [her]_113-ellen . The shock seemed to have banished voice from all , save from [the poor child]_{399-the poor child} principally concerned . "_[113-ellen] Stay with [me]_0-i , [[my]_0-i dear]_{3485-my dear} [Ellen]_113-ellen ! " [Mrs. Cameron]_{115-mrs. cameron} at length said , advancing to [her]_113-ellen , as [she]_{115-mrs. cameron} stood still clinging to [the sergeant]_{3803-the sergeant} 's arm : "_[113-ellen] [the captain]_{3793-the captain} will go and meet [[your]_113-ellen father]_{3470-your father} , and if [he]_{3470-your father} be wounded , [we]_860-we will nurse [him]_{3470-your father} together , [dearest]_861-dearest ! Stay with [me]_0-i . " "_[0-i] No , no , no ! " was the agonized reply ; "_[0-i] let [me]_0-i go to [him]_{3470-your father} , [he]_{3470-your father} may die before [they]_862-they bring [him]_{3470-your father} here , and [I]_0-i shall never feel [his]_{3470-your father} kiss or hear [him]_{3470-your father} bless [me]_0-i again . [He]_{3470-your father} told [me]_0-i [he]_{3470-your father} should fall in battle — oh ! [Mrs. Cameron]_{115-mrs. cameron} , pray let [me]_0-i go to [him]_{3470-your father} ? " And [they]_862-they who knew all which [that father]_{3804-that father} was to [[his]_{3804-that father} poor [Ellen]_113-ellen]_{3805-his poor ellen} , could not resist that appeal . [The sergeant]_{3803-the sergeant} said [the colonel]_{3662-the colonel} was not dead , but so mortally wounded [they]_862-they feared to move [him]_{3470-your father} . It was a fearful scene . Death in its most horrid form was all around [her]_113-ellen ; [her]_113-ellen little feet were literally deluged in blood , and [she]_113-ellen frequently stumbled over the dusky forms and mangled and severed limbs that lay on the grass , but neither sob nor cry escaped [her]_113-ellen till [she]_113-ellen beheld [[her]_113-ellen father]_{435-her father} . [[His]_{435-her father} men]_{3809-his men} had removed [him]_{435-her father} from the immediate scene of slaughter , and tried to form a rough pallet of military cloaks , but the ghastly countenance , which the moon 's light rendered still more fixed and pallid , the rigidity of [his]_{435-her father} limbs , all seemed to denote [they]_862-they had indeed arrived too late , and that terrible stillness was broken by the convulsed and passionate sobs of [the poor child]_{399-the poor child} , who , flinging [herself]_{399-the poor child} beside [him]_{435-her father} , besought [him]_{435-her father} only to open [his]_{435-her father} eyes , to look upon [her]_{399-the poor child} once more , to call [her]_{399-the poor child} [[his]_{435-her father} darling]_{681-his darling} , and kiss [her]_{399-the poor child} once , only once again : and it seemed as if [her]_{399-the poor child} voice had indeed power to recall the fluttering soul . The heavy eyes did unclose , the clenched hand relaxed to try and clasp [[his]_{435-her father} child]_{3707-his child} , and [he]_{435-her father} murmured feebly — "_{[115-mrs. cameron]} How came [you]_863-you here , [[my]_0-i poor darling [Ellen]_113-ellen]_{864-my poor darling ellen} ? are [friends]_3577-friends here?—is that [Cameron]_{115-mrs. cameron} 's voice ? " [The captain]_{3793-the captain} knelt down by [him]_{435-her father} and convulsively pressed [his]_{435-her father} hand , but [he]_{435-her father} could not speak . "_{[115-mrs. cameron]} God bless [you]_{115-mrs. cameron} , [Cameron]_{115-mrs. cameron} ! Take [[my]_0-i poor child]_{866-my poor child} to [[her]_{866-my poor child} mother]_{345-her mother} — implore [her]_{345-her mother} — to — and it is to - night , this very night — [she]_{345-her mother} and [[my]_0-i boy]_{868-my boy} are happy — and [I]_0-i — and [[my]_0-i poor [Ellen]_113-ellen]_{869-my poor ellen} — " A fearful convulsion choked [his]_{868-my boy} voice , but after a little while [he]_{868-my boy} tried to speak again — "_[113-ellen] [[My]_0-i poor child]_{866-my poor child} , [I]_0-i have prepared [you]_{866-my poor child} for this ; but [I]_0-i know [you]_{866-my poor child} must grieve for [me]_0-i . Take [my]_0-i blessing to [[your]_{866-my poor child} brother]_{3473-your brother} , tell [him]_{3473-your brother} to protect — love [[your]_{866-my poor child} mother]_{3462-your mother} , [darling]_3431-darling ! [she]_{3462-your mother} must love [you]_{866-my poor child} at last — a ring — [my]_0-i left hand — take it to [her]_{3462-your mother} — oh ! how [I]_0-i have loved [her]_{3462-your mother} — God have mercy on [her]_{3462-your mother} — on [[my]_0-i poor children]_{874-my poor children} ! " [He]_{3473-your brother} tried to press [his]_{3473-your brother} lips again on [Ellen]_113-ellen 's cheek and brow , but the effort was vain — and at the very moment [Mrs. Fortescue]_{73-mrs. fortescue} had stood transfixed by some unknown terror , [[her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} husband]_{340-her husband} ceased to breathe . It was long before [Ellen]_113-ellen rallied from that terrible scene . Even when the fever which followed subsided , and [she]_113-ellen had been taken , apparently perfectly restored to health , once more to [[her]_113-ellen mother]_{345-her mother} and [brother]_391-brother , its recollection so haunted [her]_113-ellen , that [her]_113-ellen many lonely hours became fraught with intense suffering . [Her]_113-ellen imagination , already only too morbid , dwelt again and again upon the minutest particular of that field of horror ; not only [[her]_113-ellen father]_{435-her father} , but the objects which , when [her]_113-ellen whole heart was wrapped in [him]_{435-her father} , [she]_113-ellen seemed not even to have seen . The ghastly heaps of dead , the severed limbs , the mangled trunks , the gleaming faces all fixed in the distorted expressions with which [they]_{874-my poor children} died — the very hollow groans and louder cry of pain which , as [she]_113-ellen passed through [the field]_{3818-the field} , had fallen on [her]_113-ellen ear unheeded , returned to [the poor child]_{399-the poor child} 's too early awakened fancy so vividly , that often and often it was only a powerful though almost unconscious effort that prevented the scream of fear . [[Her]_113-ellen father]_{435-her father} 's last words were never forgotten ; [she]_113-ellen would not only continue to love [[her]_113-ellen mother]_{345-her mother} because [he]_{435-her father} had desired [her]_113-ellen to do so , but because [he]_{435-her father} had so loved [her]_113-ellen , and on [her]_113-ellen first return [home]_563-home this seemed easier than ever to accomplish . [Mrs. Fortescue]_{73-mrs. fortescue} , tortured by remorse and grief , had somewhat softened toward [the child who had received the last breath of [[her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} husband]_{340-her husband}]_{3823-the child who had received the last breath of her husband} ; and could [Ellen]_113-ellen have overcome the reserve and fear which so many years of estrangement had engendered , and given vent to the warmth of [her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} nature , [Mrs. Fortescue]_{73-mrs. fortescue} might have learned to know , and knowing , to love [her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} — but it was then too late . So torturing were [Mrs. Fortescue]_{73-mrs. fortescue} 's feelings when [she]_{73-mrs. fortescue} recalled the last request of [[her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} husband]_{340-her husband} , and [her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} cruel and haughty refusal ; when that which had seemed so important , a juvenile ball — because not to go would disappoint [Edward]_76-edward — became associated with [his]_76-edward fearful death , and sunk into worse than nothing — [she]_{73-mrs. fortescue} had parted with [him]_76-edward in anger , and it proved forever;—that even as [England]_10-england had become odious to [her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} , twelve years before , so did [India]_7-india now ; and [she]_{73-mrs. fortescue} suddenly resolved to quit it , and return to [the relatives [she]_{73-mrs. fortescue} had neglected so long , but toward whom [she]_{73-mrs. fortescue} now yearned more than ever]_{3826-the relatives she had neglected so long , but toward whom she now yearned more than ever} . [She]_{73-mrs. fortescue} thought and believed such a complete change would and must bring peace . Alas ! what change will remove the torture of remorse ? Though incapable of real love , from [her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} studied heartlessness , it was impossible for [her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} to have lived twelve years with one so indulgent and fond as [Colonel Fortescue]_{114-colonel fortescue} , without realizing some degree of affection , and [his]_76-edward unexpected and awful death roused every previously dormant feeling so powerfully , that [she]_{73-mrs. fortescue} was astonished at [herself]_{73-mrs. fortescue} , and in [her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} misery believed that the feeling had only come , to add to [her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} burden — for what was the use of loving now ? and determined to rouse [herself]_{73-mrs. fortescue} , [she]_{73-mrs. fortescue} made every preparation for immediate departure , but [she]_{73-mrs. fortescue} was painfully arrested . [The selfish mother]_{3827-the selfish mother} had fled from the couch of [[her]_{3827-the selfish mother} suffering child]_{3828-her suffering child} , and now [a variation of the same complaint]_{3829-a variation of the same complaint} laid [her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} on a bed of pain . It was a desperate struggle between life and death ; but [she]_{73-mrs. fortescue} rallied , and insisted on taking [her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} passage for [England]_10-england some weeks before [[her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} medical attendant]_{3830-her medical attendant} thought it advisable . The constant struggle between the whisperings of good and the dominion of evil , which [her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} whole life had been , had unconsciously undermined a constitution naturally good ; and when to this was added a malignant disease , though brief in itself , the seeds of a mortal complaint were planted , which , ere the long voyage was concluded , had obtained fatal and irremediable ascendency , and occasioned those sufferings and death which in [our]_3831-our first chapters [we]_3831-our described . To [Edward]_76-edward , though the death of [[his]_76-edward father]_{406-his father} had caused [him]_76-edward much childish grief , still more perhaps from sympathy with the deep suffering of [[his]_76-edward mother]_{330-his mother} , than a perfect consciousness of [his]_76-edward own heavy loss , the manner in which [he]_76-edward died was to [him]_76-edward a source of actual pride . [He]_76-edward had always loved the histories of [heroes]_3834-heroes , military and naval , and gloried in the idea that [[his]_76-edward father]_{406-his father} had been one of [them]_3834-heroes , and died as [they]_3834-heroes did , bravely fighting against superior numbers , and in the moment of a glorious victory . [He]_76-edward had never seen death , and imagined not all the attendant horrors of such a one ; and how that [Ellen]_113-ellen could never even hear the word without shuddering [he]_76-edward could not understand , nor why [she]_113-ellen should always so painfully shrink from the remotest reference to that night , which was only associated in [his]_76-edward mind with emotions of pleasure . In the tedious voyage of nearly six months ( for five - and - twenty years ago the voyage from [India]_7-india to [England]_10-england was not what it is now ) , the character of [Edward]_76-edward shone forth in such noble coloring as almost to excuse [[his]_76-edward mother]_{330-his mother} 's idolatry , and win for [him]_76-edward the regard of [passengers]_{3837-passengers} and [crew]_3838-crew . [Captain Cameron]_{116-captain cameron} had impressed on [his]_76-edward mind that [he]_76-edward now stood in [[his]_76-edward father]_{406-his father} 's place to [[his]_76-edward mother]_{330-his mother} and [sister]_486-sister ; and as the idea of protecting is always a strong incentive to manliness in [a boy]_{3842-a boy} , however youthful , [Edward]_76-edward well redeemed the charge , so devoting [himself]_76-edward not only to [[his]_76-edward mother]_{330-his mother} , but to [Ellen]_113-ellen , that [her]_113-ellen affection for [him]_76-edward redoubled , as did [her]_113-ellen mistaken idea of [his]_76-edward vast superiority . [His]_76-edward taste had always pointed to the naval in preference to the military profession , and the voyage confirmed it . Before [he]_76-edward had been a month on board [he]_76-edward had become practically [an expert sailor]_{3844-an expert sailor} — had learned all the technical names of the various parts of [a ship]_{3845-a ship} , and evinced the most eager desire for the acquirement of navigation . Nor did [he]_76-edward fail in [the true sailor]_{3846-the true sailor} spirit , when , almost within sight of [England]_10-england , a tremendous storm arose , reducing [the vessel]_{3847-the vessel} almost to a wreck , carrying [her]_{3847-the vessel} far from [her]_{3847-the vessel} destined moorings , and compelling [her]_{3847-the vessel} , after ten days ' doubt whether or not [she]_{3847-the vessel} would reach [land]_3848-land in safety , to anchor in [Milford Haven]_{21-milford haven} , there to repair [her]_{3847-the vessel} injuries , ere [she]_{3847-the vessel} could be again seaworthy . [The passengers]_{3849-the passengers} [here]_3850-here left [her]_{3847-the vessel} , and [Mrs. Fortescue]_{73-mrs. fortescue} [, whose illness the terrors of the storm had most alarmingly increased]_{3851-, whose illness the terrors of the storm had most alarmingly increased} , was conveyed to [Pembroke]_6-pembroke in an almost exhausted state ; but once on [land]_3848-land [she]_{3847-the vessel} rallied , resolved on instantly proceeding to [Swansea]_5-swansea , then cross to [Devonshire]_{11-devonshire} , and travel direct to [Oakwood]_12-oakwood , where [she]_{3847-the vessel} had no doubt [[her]_{3847-the vessel} sister]_{325-her sister} was . But [her]_{3847-the vessel} temper was destined to be tried still more . [The servant who had accompanied [her]_{3847-the vessel} from [India]_7-india]_{3854-the servant who had accompanied her from india} , [an Englishwoman]_{3855-an englishwoman} , tired out with the fretful impatience of [Mrs. Fortescue]_{73-mrs. fortescue} during the voyage , and disappointed that [she]_{3847-the vessel} did not at once proceed to [London]_13-london , demanded [her]_{3847-the vessel} instant discharge , as [she]_{3847-the vessel} could not stay any longer from [[her]_{3847-the vessel} friends]_{620-her friends} . The visible illness of [[her]_{3847-the vessel} mistress]_{733-her mistress} might have spared this unfeeling act , but [Eleanor]_91-eleanor had never shown feeling or kindness to [[her]_91-eleanor inferiors]_{3858-her inferiors} , and therefore , perhaps , had no right to expect [them]_{3858-her inferiors} . [Her]_91-eleanor suppressed anger and annoyance so increased physical suffering , that had it not been for [[her]_91-eleanor children]_{322-her children} [she]_91-eleanor must have sunk at once ; but for [their]_{322-her children} sakes [she]_91-eleanor struggled with that deadly exhaustion , and set off the very next morning , without [any attendant]_{3860-any attendant} , for [Swansea]_5-swansea . [They]_{322-her children} were not above thirty miles from [this town]_{3861-this town} when , despite [her]_91-eleanor every effort , [Mrs. Fortescue]_{73-mrs. fortescue} became too ill to proceed . There was no appearance of [a town or village]_{3862-a town or village} , but [the owners of [a half - way house]_{3864-a half - way house} , pitying the desolate condition of [the travelers]_{3865-the travelers}]_{3863-the owners of a half - way house , pitying the desolate condition of the travelers} , directed [the postboy]_{3866-the postboy} to [the village of Llangwillan]_{3867-the village of llangwillan} ; which , though out of [the direct road and four or five miles distant]_{3868-the direct road and four or five miles distant} , was yet [the nearest place of shelter]_{3869-the nearest place of shelter} . And never in [her]_91-eleanor whole life had [Mrs. Fortescue]_{73-mrs. fortescue} experienced such a blessed sensation of physical relief , as when the benevolent exertions of [Mr. Myrvin]_{74-mr. myrvin} had installed [her]_91-eleanor in [[widow Morgan]_{79-widow morgan} 's humble dwelling]_{3870-widow morgan 's humble dwelling} , and by means of soothing medicine and deep repose in some degree relieved the torture of a burning brain and aching frame . Still [she]_91-eleanor hoped to rally , and obtain strength sufficient to proceed ; and bitter was the anguish when the hope was compelled to be relinquished.—With all that followed , [[our]_3871-we readers]_{524-our readers} are already acquainted , and [we]_3871-we will , therefore , at once seek the acquaintance of [[Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's own family]_{3873-mrs. hamilton 's own family} , whose "_{[3462-your mother]} Traits of Character " will , [we]_3871-we hope , illustrate other and happier [home]_563-home influences than those of indiscreet indulgence and culpable neglect . The curtains were drawn close , the large lamp was on the table , and a cheerful fire blazing in the grate ; for though only September , [the room]_{356-the room} was sufficiently large , and the evenings sufficiently chill , for a fire to add greatly to [its]_{356-the room} aspect of true English comfort . There were many admirable pictures suspended on the walls , and well - filled book - cases , desks , and maps , stands of beautiful flowers , and some ingenious toys , all seeming to proclaim [the apartment]_{3876-the apartment} as the especial possession of [the young party who were this evening busily engaged at the large round table which occupied the centre of [the room]_{356-the room}]_{3877-the young party who were this evening busily engaged at the large round table which occupied the centre of the room} . [They]_{3873-mrs. hamilton 's own family} were only four in number , but what with a large desk piled with books and some most alarming - sized dictionaries , which occupied [the elder of [the two lads]_{3880-the two lads}]_{3879-the elder of the two lads} , the embroidery frame of [the elder girl]_{3881-the elder girl} , the dissected map before [[her]_91-eleanor sister]_{325-her sister} , and two or three books scattered round [the younger boy]_{3883-the younger boy} , the table seemed so well filled that [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} had quietly ensconced [herself]_{112-miss harcourt} in [[her]_{112-miss harcourt} own private little corner]_{3884-her own private little corner} , sufficiently near to take an interest , and sometimes join in the conversation of [her]_{112-miss harcourt} youthful charge ; but so apart as to be no restraint upon [them]_{3873-mrs. hamilton 's own family} , and to enable [her]_{112-miss harcourt} to pursue [her]_{112-miss harcourt} own occupations of either reading , writing , or working uninterruptedly . Could [poor Mrs. Fortescue]_{73-mrs. fortescue} have glanced on [the happy group]_{3885-the happy group} , [she]_{73-mrs. fortescue} certainly might have told [[her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} sister]_{325-her sister} , with some show of justice , that there was such an equal distribution of interesting and animated expression ( which is the great beauty of youth ) , that [she]_{73-mrs. fortescue} could not have known the trial of having such [a heavy , dull , unhappy child]_{3887-a heavy , dull , unhappy child} as [Ellen]_113-ellen . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , indeed , [we]_3888-we rather think , would not have considered such a trial , except as it proved ill - health and physical pain in [the little sufferer]_{3706-the little sufferer} ; and , perhaps [her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} increased care and tenderness ( for such with [her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} would have been the consequence of the same cause which had created [[her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} sister]_{325-her sister} 's neglect ) might have removed both the depression of constant but impalpable illness , and the expression of heaviness and gloom . Certain it is , that [[her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} own Herbert]_{3891-her own herbert} had , with regard to delicate health , given [her]_{73-mrs. fortescue} more real and constant anxiety than [Eleanor]_91-eleanor had ever allowed [herself]_91-eleanor to experience with [Ellen]_113-ellen ; but there was nothing in [the boy]_{290-the boy} 's peculiarly interesting countenance to denote the physical suffering [he]_{290-the boy} very often endured . Care and love had so surrounded [his]_{290-the boy} path with blessings , that [he]_{290-the boy} was often heard to declare , that [he]_{290-the boy} never even wished to be as strong as [[his]_{290-the boy} brother]_{715-his brother} , or to share [his]_{290-the boy} active pleasures , [he]_{290-the boy} had so many others equally delightful . Whether it was [his]_{290-the boy} physical temperament , inducing a habitude of reflection and studious thought much beyond [his]_{290-the boy} years , or whether the unusually gifted mind worked on the frame , or the one combined to form the other , it would be as impossible to decide with regard to [him]_{290-the boy} as with [hundreds of others like [him]_{290-the boy}]_{3894-hundreds of others like him} ; but [he]_{290-the boy} certainly seemed , not only to [[his]_{290-the boy} parents]_{3895-his parents} , but to [[their]_{3895-his parents} whole household]_{3896-their whole household} , and to [every one who casually associated with [him]_{290-the boy}]_{3897-every one who casually associated with him} , to have more in [him]_{290-the boy} of [heaven than earth]_{3898-heaven than earth} ; as if indeed [he]_{290-the boy} were only lent , not given . And often , and often [[his]_{290-the boy} mother]_{330-his mother} 's heart ached with its very intensity of love , causing the unspoken dread — how might [she]_{330-his mother} hope to retain one so faultless , and yet so full of every human sympathy and love ! The delicate complexion , beautiful color of [his]_{290-the boy} cheeks and lips , and large soft , very dark blue eye , with its long black lash , high , arched brow , shaded by glossy chestnut hair , were all so lit up with the rays of mind , that though [his]_{290-the boy} face returned again and again to the fancy of [those who had only once beheld it]_{3900-those who had only once beheld it} , [they]_{3900-those who had only once beheld it} could scarcely have recalled a single feature , feeling only the almost angelic expression of the whole . [[His]_{290-the boy} brother]_{715-his brother} , as full of mirth and mischief , and as noisy and laughter - loving as [Herbert]_102-herbert was quiet and thoughtful , made [his]_{290-the boy} way at once , winning regard by storm , and retaining it by [his]_{290-the boy} frank and generous qualities , which made [him]_{290-the boy} a favorite with [young and old]_{3902-young and old} . Even in [his]_{290-the boy} hours of study , there was not the least evidence of reflection or soberness . As [a child]_{265-a child} [he]_{290-the boy} had had much to contend with , in the way of passion , pride , and self - will ; but [his]_{290-the boy} home influence had been such a judicious blending of indulgence and firmness on the part of both [[his]_{290-the boy} parents]_{3895-his parents} , such a persevering inculcation of a strong sense of duty , religious and moral , that at fifteen [his]_{290-the boy} difficulties had been all nearly overcome ; and , except when occasional acts of thoughtlessness and hasty impulse lured [him]_{290-the boy} into error and its painful consequences , [he]_{290-the boy} was as happy and as good [a lad]_{3905-a lad} as even [[his]_{290-the boy} anxious mother]_{3906-his anxious mother} could desire . [The elder of [[his]_{290-the boy} two sisters]_{3908-his two sisters}]_{3907-the elder of his two sisters} resembled [him]_{290-the boy} in the bright , dark , flashing eye , the straight intellectual brow , the rich dark brown hair and well - formed mouth ; but the expression was so different at present , that it was often difficult to trace the likeness that actually existed . Haughtiness , and but too often ill - temper , threw a shade over a countenance , which when happy and animated was not only attractive then , but gave a fair promise of great beauty in after years . The disposition of [Caroline Hamilton]_120-caroline was in fact naturally so similar to that of [[her]_120-caroline aunt]_{367-her aunt} , [Mrs. Fortescue]_{73-mrs. fortescue} , that [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's task with [her]_120-caroline was not only more difficult and painful in the present than with any of the others , but [her]_120-caroline dread of the future at times so overpowering , that it required all [[her]_120-caroline husband]_{340-her husband} 's influence to calm [her]_120-caroline , by returning trust in [Him]_{340-her husband} , who had promised to answer all who called upon [Him]_{340-her husband} , and would bless [that mother]_{3911-that mother} 's toils which were based on , and looked up alone , to [His]_{340-her husband} influence on [[her]_120-caroline child]_{350-her child} , and guidance for [herself]_120-caroline . [The blue - eyed , fair - haired , graceful , little Emmeline]_{3913-the blue - eyed , fair - haired , graceful , little emmeline} , not only [the youngest of [the family]_{3915-the family}]_{3914-the youngest of the family} , but , from [her]_{3913-the blue - eyed , fair - haired , graceful , little emmeline} slight figure , delicate , small features , and childish manner , appearing even much younger than [she]_{3913-the blue - eyed , fair - haired , graceful , little emmeline} was , was indeed a source of joy and love to all , seeming as if sorrow , except for [others]_756-others , could not approach [her]_{3913-the blue - eyed , fair - haired , graceful , little emmeline} . [She]_{3913-the blue - eyed , fair - haired , graceful , little emmeline} had indeed much that required a carefully guiding hand , in a yielding weakness of disposition , indolent habit in learning , an unrestrained fancy , and its general accompaniment , over - sensitiveness of feeling , but so easily guided by affection , and with a disposition so sweet and gentle , that a word from [[her]_{3913-the blue - eyed , fair - haired , graceful , little emmeline} mother]_{345-her mother} was always enough . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had little fears for [her]_{3913-the blue - eyed , fair - haired , graceful , little emmeline} , except , indeed , as for the vast capability of individual suffering which such a disposition engendered , in those trials which it was scarcely possible [she]_{3913-the blue - eyed , fair - haired , graceful , little emmeline} might hope to pass through life without . There was only one safeguard , one unfailing comfort , for a character like [hers]_{3913-the blue - eyed , fair - haired , graceful , little emmeline} , and that was a deep ever - present sense of religion , which untiringly , and yet more by example than by precept , [[her]_{3913-the blue - eyed , fair - haired , graceful , little emmeline} parents]_{3918-her parents} endeavored to instill . Greatly , indeed , would both [Mr.]_3919-mr. and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} have been astonished , had [they]_{3918-her parents} been told that [the little girl]_{412-the little girl} , [Ellen Fortescue]_113-ellen , who to both was such an enigma , and who was seemingly in all things so utterly unlike [their]_{3918-her parents} Emmeline , was in natural disposition exactly the same ; and that the vast difference in present and future character simply arose from the fact , that the early influences of [the one]_{3691-the one} were sorrow and neglect , and of the other , happiness and love . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i wonder whether [mamma]_3420-mamma and [papa]_3546-papa will really come [home]_563-home to - night ; " observed [Caroline]_120-caroline , after several minutes of unbroken silence , all seemingly so engrossed in [their]_{3918-her parents} own occupations as to have no inclination to speak . "_[878-they] And if [they]_878-they do , [I]_0-i wish [we]_879-we could know the exact time , [I]_0-i do so hate expecting and being disappointed . " "_{[880-my sage sister]} Then neither wonder nor expect , [[my]_0-i sage sister]_{880-my sage sister} , " replied [Percy]_99-percy , without , however , raising [his]_99-percy head or interrupting [his]_99-percy writing ; "_{[880-my sage sister]} and [I]_0-i will give [you]_{880-my sage sister} two capital reasons for [my]_0-i advice . Firstly , wonder is the offspring of ignorance , and has two opposite effects on [my]_0-i sex and on [yours]_{880-my sage sister} . With [us]_879-we it is closely connected with philosophy , for [we]_879-we are told in ' wonder all philosophy begins , in wonder it ends , and adoration fills up the interspace ; ' but with [you]_{880-my sage sister} , [poor weak creatures]_{881-poor weak creatures} , the only effect it produces is increased curiosity , of which [you]_{880-my sage sister} have naturally a more than adequate supply . Secondly , if [you]_{880-my sage sister} begin to wonder and expect , and speculate as to the ayes and noes of a contingency to - night , [you]_{880-my sage sister} will not cease talking till [mamma]_3420-mamma really does appear ; and then good - by to [my]_0-i theme , for to write while [your]_{880-my sage sister} tongue is running , is impossible . So pray , take [my]_0-i advice , on consideration that [you]_{880-my sage sister} have had as good a sermon from [me]_0-i as [[my]_0-i reverend brother]_{883-my reverend brother} [Herbert]_102-herbert can ever hope to give . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i do not think [mamma]_80-mamma and [papa]_3546-papa will be quite satisfied if [he]_{883-my reverend brother} do not give [us]_879-we a much better one , even the very first time [he]_{883-my reverend brother} attempts it ; " rejoined [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , with a very arch look at [[her]_78-emmeline brother]_{384-her brother} . "_{[880-my sage sister]} What , [you]_{880-my sage sister} against [me]_0-i , [Miss Emmy]_121-emmy ! and beginning to talk too . [You]_{880-my sage sister} forget what [an important personage]_{885-an important personage} [I]_0-i am , during [papa]_3546-papa 's absence especially ; and that as such , [I]_0-i am not to be insulted with impunity . So here goes — as a fresh exercise for [your]_{880-my sage sister} patience ! " And [he]_99-percy mingled all the fixed and unfixed parts of [her]_78-emmeline map in most bewildering confusion , regardless of [her]_78-emmeline laughing entreaty to let [them]_3923-them alone . "_{[880-my sage sister]} [You]_{880-my sage sister} have tried a very bad way to keep [me]_0-i quiet , [Percy]_99-percy , " continued [Caroline]_120-caroline ; "_{[880-my sage sister]} [you]_{880-my sage sister} must either explain why [wonder]_887-wonder may not equally have the same good effect on [us]_888-us as on [you]_{880-my sage sister} , or retract [your]_{880-my sage sister} words entirely . [You]_{880-my sage sister} know [you]_{880-my sage sister} would not have expressed such a contemptuous opinion , if [mamma]_3420-mamma had been present . " "_{[880-my sage sister]} [[My]_0-i mother]_{890-my mother} is such [a very superior person]_{891-a very superior person} , that when [she]_{890-my mother} is present [her]_{890-my mother} superiority extends over [her]_{890-my mother} whole sex , [Caroline]_120-caroline ; even [you]_120-caroline are safe , because , as [[her]_{890-my mother} child]_{350-her child} , it is to be hoped that one of these days [you]_120-caroline may be something like [her]_3420-mamma : exactly , [I]_0-i do not expect — [two such woman as [[my]_0-i mother]_{890-my mother}]_{893-two such woman as my mother} can not exist . " "_{[880-my sage sister]} As if [your]_{880-my sage sister} opinion were of such importance , [Percy]_99-percy , " replied [Caroline]_120-caroline haughtily ; "_{[880-my sage sister]} it really is very little consequence to [me]_0-i whether [you]_{880-my sage sister} think [me]_0-i like [mamma]_3420-mamma or not . " "_{[880-my sage sister]} It is to [me]_0-i , though , " rejoined [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , earnestly ; "_[0-i] [I]_0-i would rather be like [mamma]_3420-mamma than like [any body else]_{897-any body else} , and [I]_0-i should like [Percy]_99-percy to think [I]_0-i was , because then [he]_99-percy would love [me]_0-i still more . " "_[99-percy] Bravo , [my]_0-i little Em . ; spoken almost as well as [I]_0-i could [myself]_0-i , and , as a reward , as soon as this most annoying piece of erudition is accomplished , [I]_0-i will help [you]_898-you with [your]_898-you map why , [you]_898-you silly little thing , [you]_898-you have put [Kamschatka]_{22-kamschatka} as [the terra firma of [South America]_{23-south america}]_{899-the terra firma of south america} ; no doubt that ice and snow would be very welcome there , but how [the Americans]_{900-the americans} would stare to see [the fur - clad Kamschatkans such near neighbors]_{901-the fur - clad kamschatkans such near neighbors} . That 's it , go on , puzzle away till [I]_0-i can help [you]_898-you . And [you]_898-you [Miss Caroline]_122-caroline , retain [your]_898-you contempt of [my]_0-i opinion , and may [you]_898-you never repent it . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i thought [you]_0-i told [me]_0-i not to talk , [Percy]_99-percy , " replied [[his]_99-percy sister]_{561-his sister} ; "_[0-i] and [I]_0-i should like to know who is talking the most , [you]_0-i or [I]_0-i ? [You]_0-i will not finish what [you]_0-i are doing before the bell rings for prayers , if [you]_0-i go on in this way . " "_[0-i] That proves how little [you]_0-i know the extent of [my]_0-i powers . [I]_0-i have only to make a clean copy of these learned reflections . Why , in the name of [all the gods]_{902-all the gods} , were there [such provokingly clever people]_{903-such provokingly clever people} as [Seneca]_123-seneca , [Cicero]_124-cicero , [Pliny]_125-pliny , and [a host of others]_{904-a host of others} ! or , if [they]_{903-such provokingly clever people} must be wise , why did [they]_{903-such provokingly clever people} not burn all the written wisdom , instead of leaving it as a means of torture in the hands of [learned pedagogues]_{905-learned pedagogues} , [yclept schoolmasters]_{906-yclept schoolmasters} , and as a curse on [those poor unfortunates whose noddles are not wise enough to contain it]_{907-those poor unfortunates whose noddles are not wise enough to contain it} . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i should be very sorry if [all the ancient authors]_{908-all the ancient authors} were thus annihilated , " observed [Herbert]_102-herbert , looking up from [his]_102-herbert book with a bright smile . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i should lose a great deal of enjoyment even now , and still more by - and - by , when [I]_0-i know more . " "_{[909-my dear fellow]} Ay , but [[my]_0-i dear fellow]_{909-my dear fellow} , [your]_{909-my dear fellow} head is not quite so like a sieve as [mine]_0-i . [Yours]_{909-my dear fellow} receives , contains , digests , and sends forth the matter improved by [your]_{909-my dear fellow} own ideas ; but as for [mine]_0-i , the matter undoubtedly enters , but runs out again , and only leaves behind that which is too large and gross to pass through . No , no , [Bertie]_102-herbert , [your]_{909-my dear fellow} head and [mine]_0-i are not related even in the twentieth degree of consanguinity , however nearly connected [[their]_910-their masters]_{911-their masters} may be . Hush ! not a word ; [I]_0-i have only one line more ; what [a wise man that was to be sure]_{912-a wise man that was to be sure} , who said ' Otiosum esse quam nihil agere'—better to be idle than doing nothing . Do n't shake [your]_{909-my dear fellow} head and laugh , [Emmy]_121-emmy . [Vale]_126-vale : never did [I]_0-i say good - by so willingly . Hurrah ! [mamma]_3420-mamma and [papa]_3546-papa may come [home]_563-home when [they]_916-they like now . Cast [your]_{909-my dear fellow} eyes over it [Herbert]_102-herbert ; just tell [me]_0-i if it look correct , and then vale books — vale pens — vale desk for to - night ! " [He]_{909-my dear fellow} placed [his]_{909-my dear fellow} writing on [[his]_{909-my dear fellow} brother]_{715-his brother} 's open bunk , threw [his]_{909-my dear fellow} dictionary and grammar high in air , and dexterously caught them as they fell , piled up [his]_{909-my dear fellow} books , closed [his]_{909-my dear fellow} desk , and then , with a comical sigh of relief , flung [himself]_{909-my dear fellow} full length on a sofa . "_{[909-my dear fellow]} Now that [you]_{909-my dear fellow} have finished [your]_{909-my dear fellow} task , [Percy]_99-percy , perhaps [you]_{909-my dear fellow} will have the kindness to inform [us]_917-us why at this time of the evening [you]_{909-my dear fellow} have been writing Latin ? " inquired [Caroline]_122-caroline . "_{[909-my dear fellow]} And open [my]_0-i wound afresh ! However , it is quite right that [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} should know that , if [I]_0-i am ill from over - study to - morrow , it is [her]_{112-miss harcourt} doing . " "_{[112-miss harcourt]} [Mine]_{112-miss harcourt} ! " answered [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} , laughing ; "_{[112-miss harcourt]} pray explain [yourself]_{909-my dear fellow} , [young man]_{918-young man} , for [I]_0-i am so perfectly innocent as not even to understand [you]_{909-my dear fellow} . " "_{[909-my dear fellow]} Did [you]_{909-my dear fellow} not this morning give [me]_0-i a message to [Lady Helen Grahame]_{127-lady helen} ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i did ; [you]_{909-my dear fellow} passed [[her]_{127-lady helen} house]_{614-her house} on [your]_{909-my dear fellow} way to [[Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} 's]_{920-mr. howard 's} . " "_{[909-my dear fellow]} Well , then , if [you]_{909-my dear fellow} had not given [me]_0-i the message , much as [I]_0-i felt disinclined to pore over musty books and foolscap paper , from the extreme loveliness of the morning , [I]_0-i should have nerved [myself]_0-i to go straight on to [the Rectory]_{24-the rectory} . [Lady Helen]_{127-lady helen} was not visible , so [I]_0-i tarried , believing [your]_{909-my dear fellow} message of vital importance , and [Annie]_129-annie came to [me]_0-i — by - the - by , what [a little woman]_{921-a little woman} [that child]_{922-that child} is ; [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , [you]_{909-my dear fellow} are a baby to [her]_129-annie . [I]_0-i wonder [she]_129-annie condescends to associate with [you]_{909-my dear fellow} . " "_[129-annie] [I]_0-i do not think [she]_129-annie is at all fond of [me]_0-i — [Caroline]_122-caroline is [[her]_129-annie friend]_{535-her friend} , " replied [Emmeline]_78-emmeline ; "_{[122-caroline]} but what can [Annie]_129-annie have to do with [your]_{909-my dear fellow} Latin ? " "_[129-annie] A great deal — for [she]_129-annie talked and [we]_924-we walked , and time walked too , and by the time [I]_0-i had seen [Lady Helen]_{127-lady helen} , it was two hours later than [I]_0-i ought to have been with [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} . On [I]_0-i went , feeling not particularly comfortable ; but though it is clear logic that if [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} had not sent [me]_0-i to [Lady Helen]_{127-lady helen} 's [I]_0-i should not have been led into temptation , [I]_0-i was magnanimous enough not to mention [her]_{127-lady helen} , but to lay the whole blame of [my]_0-i non - appearance , on [my]_0-i own disinclination for any study but that of nature . [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} looked grave and sorrowful — [I]_0-i wish to heaven [he]_{128-mr. howard} was more like [any other schoolmaster]_{925-any other schoolmaster} ; that look and tone of [his]_{128-mr. howard} are worse than any rod!—and to redeem [my]_0-i lost time in the morning , [I]_0-i was desired to write a Latin theme on a letter of [Pliny]_125-pliny 's this evening . And now that [I]_0-i have satisfied all [your]_926-your inquiries , please satisfy [mine]_0-i . Is there any chance of [mamma]_3420-mamma 's coming [home]_563-home to - night ? " "_[3420-mamma] Every probability , " replied [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} . "_[3420-mamma] It only depends on [[your]_926-your cousin]_{929-your cousin} , who is so very delicate , that if [she]_{929-your cousin} were too fatigued , [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} would remain at [Exeter]_25-exeter to - night , and proceed here early to - morrow . " "_{[81-mrs. hamilton]} Well , [[my]_0-i little cousin]_{930-my little cousin} , though [I]_0-i have not the pleasure of knowing [you]_{930-my little cousin} , [I]_0-i hope [you]_{930-my little cousin} will be so kind as to let [mamma]_3420-mamma come on to - night , for [we]_932-we have been too long without [her]_3420-mamma , and [I]_0-i long to resign to papa [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} robes of office , for they sit mightily like borrowed plumes upon [me]_0-i . [Mamma]_80-mamma writes of [Ellen]_113-ellen and [Edward]_76-edward — [I]_0-i wonder what they are like ! Come , [Tiny]_130-tiny , paint them for [me]_0-i — [your]_130-tiny fertile fancy generally fills up the shadow of a name . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i can not , [Percy]_99-percy , for [I]_0-i am afraid [my]_0-i pictures would not be agreeable . " "_[0-i] Not agreeable ! " repeated [Percy]_99-percy and [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} together . "_[0-i] Why not ? " [Emmeline]_78-emmeline hesitated , then answered ingenuously , "_[0-i] [We]_932-we are so very , very happy together , that [I]_0-i do not feel quite sure that [I]_0-i am glad [[my]_0-i cousins]_{933-my cousins} are going to live with [us]_932-we . " "_[130-tiny] What ! are [you]_130-tiny afraid [I]_0-i shall love [Ellen]_113-ellen more than [you]_130-tiny , [Emmy]_121-emmy ? " exclaimed [[her]_0-i brother]_{384-her brother} , starting up and sitting on [her]_0-i chair ; "_[130-tiny] do not be alarmed , [Tiny]_130-tiny ; [no cousin]_{934-no cousin} shall take [your]_130-tiny place . " "_[130-tiny] Indeed [I]_0-i am not afraid of that , [Percy]_99-percy , [dear]_3435-dear , " [she]_0-i replied , looking so fondly in [his]_99-percy face , that [he]_99-percy gave [her]_0-i a hearty kiss . "_[99-percy] [I]_0-i can not tell why [I]_0-i should feel half sorry that [they]_936-them are coming , but [I]_0-i am quite sure [I]_0-i will do all [I]_0-i can to make [them]_936-them happy . " "_[0-i] [You]_130-tiny could not do otherwise if [you]_130-tiny were to try , [Tiny]_130-tiny . Come , [Caroline]_122-caroline , what say [you]_122-caroline ? [We]_937-we have all been thinking about [them]_936-them , so [we]_937-we may as well give [each other]_{938-each other} the benefit of [our]_937-we thoughts . " "_{[122-caroline]} Suppose [I]_0-i do not feel inclined to do so ? " "_[0-i] Why [we]_937-we must all believe [you]_122-caroline are ashamed of [them]_936-them , " replied [Percy]_99-percy quickly , "_{[122-caroline]} and if [you]_122-caroline are , [I]_0-i know who has made [you]_122-caroline so . [I]_0-i would lay any wager , the whole time [you]_122-caroline have been with [Lady Helen Grahame]_{127-lady helen} , since [mamma]_3420-mamma has been away , [she]_3420-mamma has been talking of nothing else — look , look , [she]_3420-mamma is blushing — [I]_0-i am right . " "_[3420-mamma] And if [she]_3420-mamma did , " replied [Caroline]_122-caroline , very much provoked , "_[3420-mamma] [she]_3420-mamma said nothing that [I]_0-i am ashamed of repeating . [She]_3420-mamma knew [[my]_0-i aunt]_{3424-my aunt} before [she]_3420-mamma went to [India]_7-india , and [I]_0-i am sure if [[her]_3420-mamma children]_{322-her children} are like [her]_3420-mamma , [they]_{322-her children} will be [no agreeable additions to [[our]_943-our family]_{944-our family}]_{942-no agreeable additions to our family} . " "_{[127-lady helen]} Bravo , [Caroline]_122-caroline ! [you]_122-caroline really are [an apt pupil]_{945-an apt pupil} ; [Lady Helen]_{127-lady helen} 's words and manner completely ! but [you]_122-caroline may have one comfort ; [children]_{3553-children} are not always like [[their]_{3553-children} parents]_{947-their parents} , and if [they]_{3553-children} are as unlike [Lady Helen]_{127-lady helen} 's description of [[my]_0-i poor aunt]_{948-my poor aunt} ( which by the way [she]_{127-lady helen} had no right to give , nor [you]_122-caroline to listen to ) as [you]_122-caroline are at this moment unlike [mamma]_3420-mamma , [we]_943-our shall get on capitally , and need have no fears about [them]_{3553-children} . " "_[99-percy] [Percy]_99-percy [you]_99-percy are intolerably disagreeable ! " "_[99-percy] Because [I]_0-i speak the sad , sober truth ? [Caroline]_122-caroline , do pray , get rid of that dawning ill temper , before [mamma]_3420-mamma comes ; it will not be a pleasant welcome [home]_563-home . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i am not ill - tempered , [Percy]_99-percy : [I]_0-i suppose [I]_0-i may have [my]_0-i own opinion of [Ellen]_113-ellen and [Edward]_76-edward , as well as all of [you]_99-percy , " replied [[his]_99-percy sister]_{561-his sister} angrily . "_[0-i] But do not let it be [an unkind one]_{952-an unkind one} , without knowing [them]_{3553-children} , [dear Caroline]_122-caroline , " observed [Herbert]_102-herbert gently ; "_{[122-caroline]} it is so very difficult to get rid of a prejudice when once it has entered [our]_953-we minds , even when [we]_953-we know and feel that it is a wrong one . [I]_0-i am sure if [we]_953-we only thought how sad it is that [they]_{3553-children} have neither [father]_741-father nor [mother]_3430-mother to love [them]_{3553-children} , and are coming all among [strangers]_{3543-strangers} — born in [a strange land]_{957-a strange land} too — [we]_953-we should find quite enough to think kindly about , and leave all wonder as to what [they]_{3553-children} will be like , till [we]_953-we know [them]_{3553-children} . [I]_0-i dare say [we]_953-we shall often have to bear and forbear , but that [we]_953-we have to do with [each other]_{938-each other} , and it will only be [one brother]_{959-one brother} and [sister]_486-sister more . " "_{[391-brother]} [Brother]_391-brother and [sister]_486-sister ! [I]_0-i am sure [I]_0-i shall not think of [them]_{3553-children} so , [Herbert]_102-herbert , however [you]_102-herbert may . [[My]_0-i father]_{3451-my father} might have been [a nobleman]_{964-a nobleman} , and who knows any thing of [theirs]_{3553-children} ? " "_{[122-caroline]} [Caroline]_122-caroline , how can [you]_122-caroline be so ridiculous ! " exclaimed [Percy]_99-percy , with a most provoking fit of laughter . "_{[122-caroline]} [[Their]_{3553-children} father]_{965-their father} served and died for [[his]_{965-their father} king]_{966-his king} — as [[our]_967-our grandfather]_{968-our grandfather} did ; and had [he]_{965-their father} lived might have been offered a title too — and [[their]_{3553-children} mother]_{488-their mother} — really [I]_0-i think [you]_122-caroline are very insulting to [mamma]_3420-mamma : [[[her]_3420-mamma sister]_{325-her sister} 's children]_{972-her sister 's children} [I]_0-i should imagine quite as high in rank as [ourselves]_967-our ! " "_{[122-caroline]} And even if [they]_{3553-children} were not — what would it signify ? " rejoined [Herbert]_102-herbert . "_{[122-caroline]} [Dear Caroline]_120-caroline , pray do not talk or think so ; it makes [me]_0-i feel so sorry , for [I]_0-i know how wrong it is — [we]_967-our might have been in [their]_{3553-children} place . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i really can not fancy any thing so utterly impossible , " interrupted [Caroline]_120-caroline , "_[0-i] so [you]_0-i may spare the supposition , [Herbert]_102-herbert . " "_{[102-herbert]} It is no use , [Bertie]_102-herbert ; [you]_102-herbert must bring the antipodes together , before [you]_102-herbert and [Caroline]_120-caroline will think alike , " interposed [Percy]_99-percy , perceiving with regret the expression of pain on [[his]_99-percy brother]_{715-his brother} 's face , and always ready to guard [him]_99-percy either from physical or mental suffering , feeling instinctively that , from [his]_99-percy extraordinary mind and vivid sense of duty , [he]_99-percy was liable to the latter , from many causes which other natures would pass unnoticed . [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} did not join the conversation . It had always been [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's wish that in [their]_{3553-children} intercourse with [each other]_{938-each other} , [[her]_{112-miss harcourt} children]_{322-her children} should be as unrestrained as if [they]_{322-her children} had been alone . Had [Caroline]_120-caroline 's sentiments received encouragement , [she]_{112-miss harcourt} would have interfered ; but the raillery of [Percy]_99-percy and the earnestness of [Herbert]_102-herbert , [she]_{112-miss harcourt} knew were more likely to produce an effect than any thing like a rebuke from [herself]_{112-miss harcourt} , which would only have caused restraint before [her]_{112-miss harcourt} in future . It was through this perfect unrestraint that [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had become so thoroughly acquainted with [the several characters of [[her]_{112-miss harcourt} children]_{322-her children}]_{3931-the several characters of her children} . That [Caroline]_120-caroline 's sentiments caused [her]_{112-miss harcourt} often real pain was true , but it was far better to know [them]_{322-her children} , and endeavor to correct and remove [them]_{322-her children} , by causing education to bear upon the faults [they]_{322-her children} revealed , than to find [them]_{322-her children} concealed from [her]_{112-miss harcourt} by the constant fear of words of reproof . To remove [Herbert]_102-herbert 's unusual seriousness , [Percy]_99-percy continued , laughingly — "_{[102-herbert]} [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} , what are [your]_{112-miss harcourt} thoughts on this momentous subject ? It is no use asking [Herbert]_102-herbert 's , [we]_973-we all know [them]_974-them without [his]_102-herbert telling [us]_973-we ; but [you]_{112-miss harcourt} are almost the principally concerned of [the present party]_{975-the present party} , for [Ellen]_113-ellen will bring [you]_{112-miss harcourt} the trouble of [another pupil]_{976-another pupil} . " "_[113-ellen] [I]_0-i shall not regret it , [Percy]_99-percy ; but only shall rejoice if [I]_0-i can in any way lessen [[your]_99-percy mother]_{3462-your mother} 's increased charge . As for what [[your]_99-percy cousins]_{978-your cousins} will be like , [I]_0-i candidly tell [you]_99-percy , [I]_0-i have scarcely thought about it . [I]_0-i have no doubt [we]_973-we shall find [them]_{978-your cousins} strange and shy at first ; but [we]_973-we must do all [we]_973-we can to make [them]_{978-your cousins} feel [they]_{978-your cousins} are [no strangers]_{979-no strangers} . " "_[121-emmy] And now , then , it only remains for the right honorable [me]_0-i to speak ; and really [Emmy]_121-emmy and [Herbert]_102-herbert and [you]_99-percy have told [my]_0-i story , and left [me]_0-i nothing . [I]_0-i do not know whether [I]_0-i am pleased or not , but [I]_0-i am very sorry for [them]_{978-your cousins} ; and it will be capital if [this Master [Edward]_76-edward]_{980-this master edward} turns out [a lad of spirit and mischief]_{981-a lad of spirit and mischief} , and not over - learned or too fond of study — one , in fact , that [I]_0-i can associate with , without feeling such a painful sensation of inferiority as [I]_0-i do when in company with [[my]_0-i right reverend brother]_{982-my right reverend brother} . " "_[99-percy] [Dear Percy]_99-percy , do not call [me]_0-i [reverend]_983-reverend , " said [Herbert]_102-herbert , appealingly : "_{[983-reverend]} [I]_0-i feel it almost a mockery now , when [I]_0-i am so very far from being worthy to become [a clergyman]_{984-a clergyman} . " "_[99-percy] [You]_99-percy are [a good fellow]_{985-a good fellow} , [Bertie]_102-herbert ; and [I]_0-i will not tease [you]_99-percy , if [I]_0-i can help it — but really [I]_0-i do not mean it for mockery ; [you]_99-percy know , or ought to know , that [you]_99-percy are better now than [half the clergymen who have taken orders]_{986-half the clergymen who have taken orders} , and as much superior to [me]_0-i in goodness as in talent . " "_[0-i] Indeed [I]_0-i know no such thing , [Percy]_99-percy ; [I]_0-i am not nearly so strong in health as [you]_99-percy are , and am therefore , naturally more fond of quiet pleasures : and as for talent , if [you]_99-percy were as fond of application as of frolic , [you]_99-percy would leave [me]_0-i far behind . " "_[99-percy] Wrong , [Bertie]_102-herbert , quite wrong ! but think of [yourself]_99-percy as [you]_99-percy please , [I]_0-i know what [every body]_{3423-every body} thinks of [you]_99-percy . Hush ! is that the sound of [a carriage]_{3440-a carriage} , or only the wind making love to the old oaks ? " "_[99-percy] The wind making love , [Percy]_99-percy ! " repeated [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , laughing ; "_[0-i] [I]_0-i neither hear that , nor the carriage wheels kissing the ground . " "_[0-i] Well done , [Tiny]_130-tiny ! [my]_0-i poetry is beaten hollow ; but there — there — [I]_0-i am sure it is [a carriage]_{3440-a carriage} ! " and [Percy]_99-percy bounded from the table so impetuously as nearly to upset it , flung back the curtain , and looked eagerly from the window . [Herbert]_102-herbert closed [his]_102-herbert book to listen ; [Emmeline]_78-emmeline left [her]_78-emmeline nearly - completed map , and joined [Percy]_99-percy ; [Caroline]_120-caroline evidently tried to resume serenity , but , too proud to evince it , industriously pursued [her]_120-caroline work , breaking the thread almost every time that [she]_120-caroline drew out the needle . "_[0-i] It is nothing , [Percy]_99-percy ; how could [you]_99-percy disappoint [us]_990-us so ? " said [Herbert]_102-herbert , in a tone of regret . "_[0-i] [[My]_0-i good fellow]_{991-my good fellow} , [you]_99-percy must be deaf — listen ! nearer and louder — and , look there , [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , through those trees , do n't [you]_99-percy see something glimmering ? that must be the lamp of [the carriage]_{3444-the carriage} . " "_[99-percy] Nonsense , [Percy]_99-percy , it is a glowworm . " "_[99-percy] A glowworm ! why , [Em]_121-emmy . , the thought of seeing [mamma]_3420-mamma has blinded [you]_99-percy . What glowworm ever came so steadily forward ? No ! there is no mistake now . [Hurrah]_133-hurrah , it is [the carriage]_{3444-the carriage} ; here [Robert]_102-herbert , [Morris]_134-morris , [Ellis]_135-ellis , all of [you]_99-percy to [the hall]_{836-the hall} ! to [the hall]_{836-the hall} ! [The carriage]_{3444-the carriage} is coming down [the avenue]_{998-the avenue} . " And with noisy impatience , [the young gentleman]_{815-the young gentleman} ran into [the hall]_{836-the hall} , assembled [all the servants [he]_{815-the young gentleman} had named]_{3935-all the servants he had named} , and others too , all eager to welcome [the travelers]_{3865-the travelers} ; flung wide back the massive door , and [he]_{815-the young gentleman} and [Herbert]_102-herbert both were on the steps several minutes before [the carriage]_{3444-the carriage} came in sight . If more than the preceding conversation were needed to reveal the confidence and love with which [Mr.]_3938-mr. and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} were regarded by [[their]_3939-their children]_{3513-their children} , the delight , the unrestrained expressions of affection , with which by every one of [the young party]_{3941-the young party} [they]_{3513-their children} were received , would have evinced it still more clearly . [Herbert]_102-herbert was very speedily on [his]_102-herbert favorite seat , a low stool at [[his]_102-herbert mother]_{330-his mother} 's feet . [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , for that one half hour at least , assumed [her]_78-emmeline still unresigned privilege , as the youngest and tiniest , to quietly slip in [her]_78-emmeline lap ; [Percy]_99-percy was talking to [[his]_99-percy father]_{406-his father} , making [Edward]_76-edward perfectly at [home]_563-home , saying many kind words to [Ellen]_113-ellen , and caressing [[his]_99-percy mother]_{330-his mother} , all almost at the same moment . [Caroline]_120-caroline was close to [[her]_120-caroline father]_{435-her father} , with [her]_120-caroline arm round [his]_{435-her father} neck ; and [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} was kindly disrobing [Ellen]_113-ellen from [her]_113-ellen many wraps , and making [her]_113-ellen lie quietly on a sofa near [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} ; who , even in that moment of delightful reunion with [her]_113-ellen own , had yet time and thought , by a few judicious words , to remove the undefinable , but painful sensation of loneliness , which was creeping over [the poor child]_{399-the poor child} as [she]_113-ellen gazed on [[her]_113-ellen bright , happy - looking cousins]_{3949-her bright , happy - looking cousins} ; and thought if to [[her]_113-ellen own mother]_{3950-her own mother} [Edward]_76-edward 's beauty and happiness had made [him]_76-edward so much more beloved than [herself]_113-ellen , what claim could [she]_113-ellen have on [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} ? [Ellen]_113-ellen could not have said that such were the thoughts that filled [her]_113-ellen eyes with tears , and made [her]_113-ellen heart so heavy ; [she]_113-ellen only knew that much as [she]_113-ellen had loved [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} during the journey , [her]_113-ellen kiss and kind words at that moment made [her]_113-ellen love [her]_{367-her aunt} more than ever . Never had there been a happier meal at [Oakwood]_12-oakwood than the substantial tea which was speedily ready for [the travelers]_{3865-the travelers} . So much was there to hear and tell : [Percy]_99-percy 's wild sallies ; [Caroline]_120-caroline 's animated replies ( [she]_120-caroline had now quite recovered [her]_120-caroline temper ) ; [Herbert]_102-herbert 's gentle care of [Ellen]_113-ellen , by whom [he]_102-herbert had stationed [himself]_102-herbert ( even giving up to [her]_113-ellen [his]_102-herbert usual seat by [[his]_102-herbert mother]_{330-his mother} ) ; [Emmeline]_78-emmeline 's half shy , half eager , efforts to talk to [[her]_78-emmeline cousins]_{3955-her cousins} ; [Mr.]_3956-mr. and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's earnest interest , all combined , long before the meal was concluded , to make [Edward]_76-edward feel perfectly at [his]_76-edward ease , and very happy , and greatly to remove [Ellen]_113-ellen 's unacknowledged dread . The time passed so quickly , that there was a general start when the prayer bell sounded , though it was nearly two hours after the usual time . "_[133-hurrah] Are [you]_999-you prepared for to - night , [[my]_0-i boy]_{868-my boy} ? " [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} asked of [Herbert]_102-herbert , as [they]_3957-they rose to adjourn to [the library]_{3958-the library} , where , morning and evening , it had been the custom of [the Hamilton family]_{3959-the hamilton family} for many generations , to assemble [[their]_{3959-the hamilton family} whole household]_{3896-their whole household} for family devotion . "_[3546-papa] Yes , [papa]_3546-papa ; [I]_0-i was not quite sure whether [you]_999-you would arrive to - night . " "_[3546-papa] Then [I]_0-i will not resume [[my]_0-i office]_{1002-my office} till to - morrow , [Herbert]_102-herbert , that [I]_0-i may have the gratification of hearing [you]_102-herbert officiate , " replied [[his]_{868-my boy} father]_{406-his father} , linking [[his]_{406-his father} son]_{514-his son} 's arm in [his]_{406-his father} , and affectionately glancing on the bright blush that rose to [the boy]_{290-the boy} 's cheek . There was a peculiar sweetness in [Herbert Hamilton]_102-herbert 's voice , even in speaking ; and as [he]_102-herbert read the service of the lessons for the evening , adding one or two brief explanations when necessary , and more especially when reading , or rather praying , the beautiful petitions appropriated to family worship , there was an earnest solemnity of tone and manner , presenting a strange contrast , yet beautiful , combining with the boyish form and youthful face , on which the lamp , suspended over the reading - desk shed such a soft and holy light . The occasional prayer which was added to the usual evening service , was always chosen by [the reader]_{3964-the reader} ; and [Mr.]_3965-mr. and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} were surprised and affected at the earnestness with which [[their]_3966-their almost angel boy]_{3967-their almost angel boy} selected and read over one peculiarly bearing on the events of that evening ; the introduction of [[their]_3966-their orphan relatives]_{3968-their orphan relatives} , for compassion and blessing on [them]_{3968-their orphan relatives} , and grace for increased kindness and forbearance in [their]_3966-their intercourse with [one another]_{3969-one another} — [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} , [[his]_102-herbert brother]_{715-his brother} and [sisters]_3971-sisters , knew well to what [he]_102-herbert alluded , and [all but one]_{3972-all but one} responded with earnestness and truth . [Caroline]_120-caroline could not enter into [Herbert]_102-herbert 's feelings even at that moment : it was a great effort to prevent a feeling of irritation , believing that [he]_102-herbert directly pointed at [her]_120-caroline , and determining that as neither [he]_102-herbert nor [any one else]_{383-any one else} had any right to interfere with [her]_120-caroline private thoughts , and that [they]_3966-their could do harm to none while confined to [her]_120-caroline own breast , [she]_120-caroline resolved not to overcome [them]_3966-their , and so could not join with any fervor in the prayer . To [Edward]_76-edward all was strange . While the graces of [his]_76-edward body and mind had been most sedulously cultivated , [he]_76-edward had never been taught even the public ordinances of religion , much less its inward spirit . [[His]_76-edward mother]_{330-his mother} had often and often felt a pang of reproach , at thus neglecting that which an inward voice would whisper was most essential ; but [she]_{330-his mother} was wo nt to silence the pang by the determined idea , that [she]_{330-his mother} was neither worthy nor able to give [him]_76-edward such solemn lessons , and that it would come by instinct to [him]_76-edward in after years . There was time enough for [him]_76-edward to think of such things . [He]_76-edward had been now and then to [church]_3975-church , but it was a mere form , regarded as a weary duty , from which [he]_76-edward escaped whenever [he]_76-edward could . The present scene , then , completely bewildered [him]_76-edward . [He]_76-edward had always fancied [himself]_76-edward superior to [any of [the boys [he]_76-edward had associated with]_{3977-the boys he had associated with}]_{3976-any of the boys he had associated with} ; but as [he]_76-edward looked at and listened to [Herbert]_102-herbert , who seemed at most only two years older than [himself]_76-edward , [he]_76-edward became sensible of a very strange and disagreeable , but a very decided feeling of inferiority : and then , too , it was so incomprehensible [the servants all joining [them]_{3978-the servants all joining them}]_{3978-the servants all joining them} , [a class of people whom in [India]_7-india [he]_76-edward had been taught so to consider [his]_76-edward inferiors]_{3979-a class of people whom in india he had been taught so to consider his inferiors} , that even to speak with [them]_{3979-a class of people whom in india he had been taught so to consider his inferiors} was a species of degradation ; and [he]_76-edward was destined to be still more surprised , for before [they]_{3978-the servants all joining them} left [the library]_{3958-the library} , [he]_76-edward heard [[his]_76-edward aunt]_{365-his aunt} and [uncle]_3425-uncle address [them]_{3978-the servants all joining them} all , and say a few kind words , and make inquiries after [[their]_{3978-the servants all joining them} families]_{3983-their families} to each . To [Ellen]_113-ellen that evening service recalled some of [Mr. Myrvin]_{74-mr. myrvin} 's instructions , and seemed to help [her]_113-ellen to realize those new thoughts and feelings , which [she]_113-ellen had learned , for the first time , in [Wales]_1-wales . [[Her]_113-ellen father]_{435-her father} had , indeed , the last year of [his]_{435-her father} life tried to give [her]_113-ellen some ideas of religion ; but having only so very lately begun to think seriously [himself]_{435-her father} , [he]_{435-her father} felt diffident and uncertain of [his]_{435-her father} own powers , and so left an impression more of awe toward the subject than of love , which to a disposition such as [Ellen]_113-ellen 's was unfortunate . A very short time sufficed for [Percy]_99-percy and [Emmeline]_78-emmeline to introduce [[their]_{3978-the servants all joining them} cousins]_{3985-their cousins} to all the delights and mysteries of [[their]_{3978-the servants all joining them} dear old home]_{3986-their dear old home} : and [Oakwood Hall]_{26-oakwood hall} was really [a place for imagination to revel in]_{3987-a place for imagination to revel in} . [It]_{26-oakwood hall} was [a large castelated mansion , fraught with both the associations of the past , and the comforts of the present]_{3988-a large castelated mansion , fraught with both the associations of the past , and the comforts of the present} . The injuries which [the original mansion]_{3989-the original mansion} had received during the civil war of [Charles I.]_{136-charles i.} , had , when [the family]_{3915-the family} returned at the Restoration , caused [much of [the old house]_{3992-the old house}]_{3991-much of the old house} to be pulled down , and replaced with [larger rooms]_{3993-larger rooms} , and greater conveniences for [a modern dwelling - house]_{3994-a modern dwelling - house} , retaining , however , quite sufficient of the past to throw interest around [it]_{3989-the original mansion} . [The wings]_{3995-the wings} were still flanked with turrets , which were [Percy]_99-percy 's and [Emmeline]_78-emmeline 's delight ; and the many stair - cases , leading into all sorts of nooks and corners — and [the small and most uncomfortable rooms]_{3996-the small and most uncomfortable rooms} , because some of [them]_{3996-the small and most uncomfortable rooms} happened to be hung with tapestry , and had those small narrow windows sunk in deep recesses — were pronounced by both far more enjoyable than the beautiful suite of rooms forming [the center of [the mansion]_{3998-the mansion}]_{3997-the center of the mansion} , and [the dwelling of [the family]_{3915-the family}]_{3999-the dwelling of the family} . These were only saved from being disagreeably modern — [Percy]_99-percy would declare — by their beautiful richly - polished oaken panels , and by the recesses which the large windows still formed , making almost a room by [themselves]_{4001-themselves} . [The hall]_{836-the hall} , too , with [its]_{836-the hall} superb sweep of staircase and broad carved oaken balustrade , leading to a gallery above , which opened on [the several sleeping apartments]_{4003-the several sleeping apartments} , and thus permitting the full height of [the mansion]_{3998-the mansion} , from base to roof , to be visible from [the hall]_{836-the hall} . Tho doors visible in [the gallery]_{4006-the gallery} opened mostly on [dressing - rooms]_{4007-dressing - rooms} , or private sitting - rooms , which led to [the large , airy sleeping - rooms , to which [the servants]_{4009-the servants} had access by back stair - cases leading from [[their]_{4009-the servants} hall]_{4010-their hall}]_{4008-the large , airy sleeping - rooms , to which the servants had access by back stair - cases leading from their hall} ; and so leaving the oaken staircase and gallery entirely to the use of [the family]_{3915-the family} , and of many a game of noisy play had that gallery been the scene . There had been [a beautiful little chapel adjoining [the mansion]_{3998-the mansion}]_{4012-a beautiful little chapel adjoining the mansion} , but [it]_{4012-a beautiful little chapel adjoining the mansion} was mercilessly burned to the ground by [the infatuated Puritans]_{4014-the infatuated puritans} , and never restored ; [the venerable old church of [the village]_{257-the village}]_{4015-the venerable old church of the village} henceforth serving [[the family]_{3915-the family} of [the hall]_{836-the hall}]_{4018-the family of the hall} . Situated on [the banks of [the Dart]_{14-the dart}]_{691-the banks of the dart} , whose serpentine windings gave [it]_{3998-the mansion} the appearance of [a succession of most lovely lakes]_{4021-a succession of most lovely lakes} , Nature had been so lavish of [her]_4022-her beauties in [the garden and park]_{4023-the garden and park} , especially in the magnificent growth of the superb oaks , from which [the estate]_{4024-the estate} took its name , that it was not much wonder [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , always [an intense lover of nature]_{4025-an intense lover of nature} , should have become so attached to [[her]_4022-her home]_{576-her home} , as never to feel the least inclination to leave [it]_{576-her home} . [She]_4022-her did not wish [[her]_4022-her girls]_{4027-her girls} to visit [London]_13-london till a few months before [Caroline]_120-caroline was old enough to be introduced , to give [them]_{4027-her girls} then finishing masters ; and to that time [she]_4022-her of course always looked , as demanding from [her]_4022-her part of the year to be spent in [town]_4028-town . The career of [Eleanor]_{127-lady helen} , the recollections of the frivolity and error into which [her]_{127-lady helen} own early youth had been thrown , had given [her]_{127-lady helen} not only a distaste , but an actual dread of [London]_13-london for [[her]_4022-her girls]_{4027-her girls} , till such principles and associations had been instilled which would enable [them]_{4027-her girls} to pass through the ordeal of successive seasons without any change of character or feeling . [[Her]_4022-her sons]_{4030-her sons} , since [their]_{4030-her sons} tenth year , had more than once accompanied [[their]_{4030-her sons} father]_{965-their father} to [the metropolis]_{4032-the metropolis} ; but though these visits were always sources of enjoyment , especially to [Percy]_99-percy , [they]_{4027-her girls} never failed to return with unabated affection to [[their]_{4027-her girls} home]_{4033-their home} , and to declare there was no place in [England]_10-england like [it]_{4033-their home} . [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , though in neither profession nor business , was far from being [an idle man]_{4034-an idle man} . [[His]_{81-mrs. hamilton} own estate]_{4035-his own estate} was sufficiently large , and contained a sufficient number of dependents , for whose mortal and immortal welfare [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} was responsible , to give [him]_{81-mrs. hamilton} much employment ; and in addition to this , the home interests and various aspects of [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} country]_{4036-his country} were so strongly entwined with [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} very being — that , though always refusing to enter Parliament , [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} was [the prompter and encourager of many a political movement , having for its object amelioration of the poor , and improvement of the whole social system ; closely connected with which , as [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} was , [they]_{4027-her girls} gave [him]_{81-mrs. hamilton} neither public fame nor private emolument]_{4037-the prompter and encourager of many a political movement , having for its object amelioration of the poor , and improvement of the whole social system ; closely connected with which , as he was , they gave him neither public fame nor private emolument} . [He]_{81-mrs. hamilton} acted in all things from the same single - hearted integrity and high honor which caused [him]_{81-mrs. hamilton} to refuse the title proffered to [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} father]_{406-his father} . [[Her]_4039-her husband]_{340-her husband} 's connection with [many celebrated characters]_{4041-many celebrated characters} , and [her]_4039-her own correspondence , and occasional visits from [[her]_4039-her friends]_{620-her friends} to [Oakwood]_12-oakwood , prevented [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's interest from too complete concentration in [[her]_4039-her home]_{576-her home} , as , in [her]_4039-her first retirement , [many]_640-many feared . [She]_4039-her had , too , [some friends near [her]_4039-her , whose society gave [her]_4039-her both pleasure and interest]_{4045-some friends near her , whose society gave her both pleasure and interest} ; and [many acquaintances who would have visited more than [she]_4039-her felt any inclination for , had [she]_4039-her not had the happy power of quietly pursuing [her]_4039-her own path]_{4046-many acquaintances who would have visited more than she felt any inclination for , had she not had the happy power of quietly pursuing her own path} , and yet conciliating all . [The Rev. William Howard]_{137-the rev. william howard} had accepted [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's eagerly - proffered invitation to become [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} rector]_{4047-his rector} , and undertake the education of [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} boys]_{4048-his boys} , from very peculiar circumstances . [He]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had been minister of [a favorite church in one of [the southern towns]_{4050-the southern towns}]_{4049-a favorite church in one of the southern towns} , and [master of [an establishment for [youths of high rank]_{4053-youths of high rank}]_{4052-an establishment for youths of high rank} , in both which capacities [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had given universal satisfaction]_{4051-master of an establishment for youths of high rank , in both which capacities he had given universal satisfaction} . The reprehensible conduct of [some of [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} pupils]_{4055-his pupils}]_{4054-some of his pupils} , carried on at first so secretly as to elude [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} knowledge , at length became so notorious as to demand examination . [He]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had at first refused all credence , but when proved , by the confused replies of all , and half confession of some , [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} briefly and emphatically laid before [them]_{4054-some of his pupils} the enormity of [their]_{4054-some of his pupils} conduct , and declared that , as confidence was entirely broken between [them]_{4054-some of his pupils} , [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} would resign the honor of [their]_{4054-some of his pupils} education , refusing to admit [them]_{4054-some of his pupils} any longer as [members of [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} establishment]_{593-his establishment}]_{4056-members of his establishment} . In vain [the young men]_{4058-the young men} implored [him]_{81-mrs. hamilton} to spare [them]_{4058-the young men} the disgrace of such an expulsion ; [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} was inexorable . This conduct , in itself so upright , was painted by [the smarting offenders]_{4059-the smarting offenders} in such colors , that [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} gradually but surely found [[his]_{128-mr. howard} school]_{4060-his school} abandoned , and [himself]_{128-mr. howard} so misrepresented , that a spirit less self - possessed and secure in its own integrity must have sunk beneath it . But [he]_{128-mr. howard} had [some true friends]_{4061-some true friends} , and none more active and earnest than [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} . A very brief residence at [Oakwood Rectory]_{27-oakwood rectory} removed even the recollection of the injustice [he]_{128-mr. howard} had experienced ; and [he]_{128-mr. howard} [himself]_{128-mr. howard} , as [pastor]_4062-pastor and [friend]_743-friend , proved a treasure to high and low . [Ten other youths]_{4064-ten other youths} , [sons of [the neighboring gentry]_{4066-the neighboring gentry}]_{4065-sons of the neighboring gentry} , became [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} pupils]_{4055-his pupils} , [[their]_{4064-ten other youths} fathers]_{4068-their fathers} gladly following in [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's lead . About a mile and a half across [the park]_{4069-the park} was [Moorlands]_28-moorlands , [the residence of [Lady Helen Grahame]_{127-lady helen} , whose name had been so often mentioned by [the young Hamiltons]_{138-the young hamiltons}]_{4070-the residence of lady helen grahame , whose name had been so often mentioned by the young hamiltons} . [[Her]_{127-lady helen} husband]_{340-her husband} [Montrose Grahame]_{139-montrose grahame} , had been [[Arthur Hamilton]_{84-arthur hamilton} 's earliest friend]_{4072-arthur hamilton 's earliest friend} , at [home]_563-home , at college , and in manhood . [Lady Helen]_{127-lady helen} [the youngest daughter of [a marquis]_{4075-a marquis}]_{4074-the youngest daughter of a marquis} , had been intimate with [Emmeline]_78-emmeline and [Eleanor Manvers]_91-eleanor from childhood , and had always admired and wished to resemble [the former]_{313-the former} , but always failed , [she]_{127-lady helen} believed , from being constituted so differently ; [others]_756-others might have thought from [her]_{127-lady helen} utter want of energy and mental strength . The marriage at first appeared likely to be a happy one , but it was too soon proved the contrary . [Grahame]_{127-lady helen} was [a man of strict , perhaps severe principles]_{4078-a man of strict , perhaps severe principles} ; [[his]_{139-montrose grahame} wife]_{521-his wife} , though [she]_{521-his wife} never did any thing morally wrong , scarcely knew the meaning of the word . Provoked with [himself]_{139-montrose grahame} for [his]_{139-montrose grahame} want of discrimination , in imagining [Lady Helen]_{127-lady helen} so different to the being [she]_{127-lady helen} really was ; more than once discovering [she]_{127-lady helen} did not speak the exact truth , or act with the steady uprightness [he]_{139-montrose grahame} demanded , [his]_{139-montrose grahame} manner became almost austere ; and , in consequence , becoming more and more afraid of [him]_{139-montrose grahame} , [Lady Helen]_{127-lady helen} sunk lower and lower in [his]_{139-montrose grahame} esteem . [Two girls]_{3598-two girls} and [a boy]_{3842-a boy} were the fruits of this union . [Lady Helen]_{127-lady helen} had made a great many excellent resolutions with regard to [their]_{3598-two girls} rearing and education , which [she]_{127-lady helen} eagerly confided to [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , but when the time of trial came , weakness and false indulgence so predominated , that [Grahame]_{127-lady helen} , to counteract these evil influences , adopted a contrary extreme , and , by a system of constant reserve and severity , became an object of as much terror to [[his]_{139-montrose grahame} children]_{4082-his children} as [he]_{139-montrose grahame} was to [[his]_{139-montrose grahame} wife]_{521-his wife} . But [he]_{139-montrose grahame} did not pursue this conduct without pain , and never did [he]_{139-montrose grahame} visit [Oakwood]_12-oakwood without bitter regret that [[his]_{139-montrose grahame} home]_{4084-his home} was not the same . [Mr. and Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had often tried to alter the aspect of affairs at [Moorlands]_28-moorlands ; the former , by entreating [Grahame]_{127-lady helen} to be less severe ; the latter , by urging [Lady Helen]_{127-lady helen} to a firmer mode of conduct . But those friendly efforts were as yet entirely useless . [Grahame]_{127-lady helen} became [a member of Parliament , which took [[his]_{139-montrose grahame} family]_{4086-his family} to [London]_13-london]_{4085-a member of parliament , which took his family to london} for five or six months in the year — a particularly agreeable change to [Lady Helen]_{127-lady helen} , who then associated with [[her]_{127-lady helen} sisters]_{4087-her sisters} , whose families were conducted much on the same fashion as [her]_{127-lady helen} own , but unfortunately only increasing the discomfort of [Moorlands]_28-moorlands when [they]_{4086-his family} returned to [it]_28-moorlands . And this was the more to be regretted , from the fact that both [Grahame]_{127-lady helen} and [[his]_{139-montrose grahame} wife]_{521-his wife} were full of good intentions , and had [the one]_{3691-the one} been more yielding , and [the other more firm]_{4090-the other more firm} , there might have been no small share of happiness for [both]_762-both . But heavy as [Lady Helen]_{127-lady helen} thought [her]_{127-lady helen} trial in the want of [[her]_{127-lady helen} husband]_{340-her husband} 's confidence and love , and which [she]_{127-lady helen} had greatly brought upon [herself]_{127-lady helen} , it was light in comparison with that of [Mrs. Greville]_{140-mrs. greville} , [another near neighbor]_{4093-another near neighbor} and valued friend of [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} . [She]_{127-lady helen} had loved and married [a man whose winning manners and appearance , and an ever - varying flow of intelligent conversation]_{4094-a man whose winning manners and appearance , and an ever - varying flow of intelligent conversation} , had completely concealed , till too late , [his]_{139-montrose grahame} real character . Left at a very early age [[his]_{139-montrose grahame} own master]_{4095-his own master} , with a capital estate and large fortune ; educated at [a very large public school , at which [he]_{139-montrose grahame} learned literally nothing but vice]_{4096-a very large public school , at which he learned literally nothing but vice} , and how effectually to conceal it ; courted and flattered wherever [he]_{139-montrose grahame} went , [he]_{139-montrose grahame} became vain , overbearing , and extravagant ; with no pursuit but that of gambling in all its varieties , even hunting and shooting could not be thoroughly enjoyed without some large bets depending on the day 's sport : [his]_{139-montrose grahame} thoughts from boyhood were so completely centered in self , that [he]_{139-montrose grahame} had affection for nothing else . [He]_{139-montrose grahame} had indeed fancied [he]_{139-montrose grahame} loved [Jessie Summers]_141-jessie , when [he]_{139-montrose grahame} had so successfully wooed [her]_141-jessie ; but the illusion was speedily dispelled , and repeatedly [he]_{139-montrose grahame} cursed [his]_{139-montrose grahame} folly for plaguing [himself]_{139-montrose grahame} with [a wife]_{4097-a wife} . [[His]_{139-montrose grahame} first child]_{4098-his first child} , too , was [a girl]_{4099-a girl} and that annoyed [him]_{139-montrose grahame} still more ; and when , the next year , [a boy]_{3842-a boy} was granted , [he]_{139-montrose grahame} certainly rejoiced , but it was such rejoicing as to fill [[his]_{139-montrose grahame} wife]_{521-his wife} 's heart with an agony of dread ; for [he]_{139-montrose grahame} swore [he]_{139-montrose grahame} would make [[his]_{139-montrose grahame} boy]_{4102-his boy} as jovial a spirit as [himself]_{139-montrose grahame} , and that [her]_{521-his wife} namby - pamby ideas should have nothing to do with [him]_{139-montrose grahame} . It was indeed a difficult and painful task [Mrs. Greville]_{140-mrs. greville} had to perform . Though [[her]_{521-his wife} husband]_{340-her husband} would spend weeks and even months at a time away , the impressions [she]_{521-his wife} so earnestly and prayerfully sought to instill into [[her]_{521-his wife} son]_{326-her son} 's heart were , or appeared to be , completely destroyed by [[her]_{521-his wife} husband]_{340-her husband} 's interference the whole time of [his]_{139-montrose grahame} sojourn at [[his]_{139-montrose grahame} home]_{4084-his home} . It was [his]_{139-montrose grahame} pleasure to thwart [her]_{521-his wife} every plan , laugh at [her]_{521-his wife} fine notions , make a mockery of all that was good , and holy , and self denying ; and all in the presence of [[his]_{139-montrose grahame} children]_{4082-his children} ; succeeding in making [Alfred]_142-alfred frequently guilty of disrespect and unkindness , but failing entirely with [Mary]_143-mary , who , though of such a fragile frame and gentle spirit that [[her]_143-mary father]_{435-her father} 's visits almost always caused [her]_143-mary a fit of illness , so idolized [her]_143-mary suffering but never murmuring mother , that [she]_143-mary only redoubled [her]_143-mary attention and respect whenever [she]_143-mary saw [her]_143-mary more tried than usual . This conduct , of course , only made [her]_143-mary an object , equally with [[her]_143-mary mother]_{345-her mother} , of [[her]_143-mary father]_{435-her father} 's sneers and taunts , but [she]_143-mary bore it with the true spirit of [a martyr]_{4111-a martyr} . Suffering was doing for [her]_143-mary what [Herbert Hamilton]_102-herbert was naturally — making [her]_143-mary spiritual and thoughtful far beyond [her]_143-mary years , and drawing [her]_143-mary and [Herbert]_102-herbert together with such a bond of mutual reverence and sympathy , that to talk to [him]_102-herbert was [her]_143-mary greatest consolation , and to endeavor to lessen [her]_143-mary sorrows one of [his]_102-herbert dearest pleasures . [Alfred]_142-alfred was not naturally [an evil - disposed boy]_{4112-an evil - disposed boy} , and when [[his]_142-alfred father]_{406-his father} was from [home]_563-home seldom failed either in respect or obedience . [Mrs. Greville]_{140-mrs. greville} possessed the rather rare combination of extreme submissiveness with a natural dignity and firmness , which enabled [her]_{140-mrs. greville} to retain the reverence and sympathy of [[her]_{140-mrs. greville} friends]_{620-her friends} and [[her]_{140-mrs. greville} household]_{4116-her household} , without once stooping to receive [their]_{620-her friends} pity . It was generally supposed by those who did not know [her]_{140-mrs. greville} personally , that [she]_{140-mrs. greville} was [one of those too soft and self - denying characters who bring on [themselves]_{620-her friends} the evils [they]_{620-her friends} deplore]_{4117-one of those too soft and self - denying characters who bring on themselves the evils they deplore} ; but this in [Mrs. Greville]_{140-mrs. greville} 's case was a very great mistake . It was impossible to associate even casually with [her]_{140-mrs. greville} , without feeling intuitively that [she]_{140-mrs. greville} suffered deeply , but the emotion such conviction called was respect alone . As anxious and as earnest [a parent]_{451-a parent} as [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} [herself]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , [Mrs. Greville]_{140-mrs. greville} failed not to inculcate the good in both [[her]_{140-mrs. greville} children]_{322-her children} , and still more forcibly , when [they]_{322-her children} became old enough to observe , by example than by precept . But with [Alfred]_142-alfred there must have been an utter hopelessness as to the fruit of [her]_{140-mrs. greville} anxious labors , had [she]_{140-mrs. greville} not possessed that clinging , single - hearted trust which taught [her]_{140-mrs. greville} that no difficulty should deter from a simple duty , and that nothing was too hard for [Him]_142-alfred who — if [He]_142-alfred saw that [she]_{140-mrs. greville} shrunk not from the charge and responsibility which , in permitting [her]_{140-mrs. greville} to become [a mother]_{3503-a mother} , [he]_142-alfred had given , and did all [she]_{140-mrs. greville} could to counteract those evil influences , for the removal of which [she]_{140-mrs. greville} had no power — would , in [His]_142-alfred own good time , reward , if not on [earth]_3497-earth — with [Him]_142-alfred in [Heaven]_4122-heaven ; and so untiringly , as unmurmuringly , [she]_{140-mrs. greville} struggled on . The part of the day which to [Emmeline Hamilton]_78-emmeline was the happiest of all , was that in which [she]_{140-mrs. greville} and [Caroline]_120-caroline , and now , of course , [Ellen]_113-ellen , were with [[their]_4123-their mother]_{488-their mother} alone . Not that [she]_{140-mrs. greville} particularly liked the very quiet employment of plain work , which was then [their]_4123-their usual occupation , but that [she]_{140-mrs. greville} could talk without the least restraint , either about [her]_{140-mrs. greville} lessons , or [her]_{140-mrs. greville} pleasures , or [her]_{140-mrs. greville} thoughts , and the stories or histories [she]_{140-mrs. greville} had been reading , and if [she]_{140-mrs. greville} thought wrong [no one]_{3540-no one} ever corrected [her]_{140-mrs. greville} so delightfully so impressively as "_[3420-mamma] [mamma]_3420-mamma . " The mornings , from three to four hours , according as [their]_4123-their age and studies required , were always under the control of [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} , with such visits from [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} as gave an increased interest to exertion , and such interruption only as permitted [their]_4123-their practice and lessons in music , which three times a week [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had as yet [herself]_{81-mrs. hamilton} bestowed . The dressing - bell always rung at half - past three , and dinner was at four , to allow [the lads]_{4126-the lads} return from [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} 's , whose daily lessons commenced at nine and concluded at three . From half - past one to half - past three , in the very short days , was devoted to recreation , walking , or driving , and in the longer , to [Emmeline]_78-emmeline 's favorite time — an hour at work with [[her]_78-emmeline mother]_{345-her mother} , and the remainder to the preparation of lessons and exercises for the next day , which in the winter occupied from five to six . From six to seven in the same generally gloomy season [they]_4123-their read aloud some entertaining book with [[their]_4123-their mother]_{488-their mother} and [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} , and seven was the delightful hour of a general reunion at tea , and signal for such recreation till nine as [they]_4123-their felt inclined for ; [[their]_4123-their brothers]_{4129-their brothers} having been employed for [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} part of the time between dinner and tea , with sufficient earnestness to enjoy the rest and recreation afterward , quite as buoyantly and gladly as [[their]_4123-their sisters]_{4130-their sisters} ; and many a merry dance enlivened [their]_4123-their winter evenings . In the summer , of course , this daily routine was frequently varied by most delightful excursions in [the country]_{4131-the country} . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} earnestly longing to implant a love of Nature and all its fresh , pure associations in the minds of [[her]_{345-her mother} children]_{322-her children} while yet young , knowing that once obtained , the pleasures of [the world]_{592-the world} would be far less likely to obtain too powerful dominion . That which [the world]_{592-the world} often terms romance , [she]_{345-her mother} felt to be a high , pure sense of poetry in [the Universe]_{29-the universe} and in Man , which [she]_{345-her mother} was quite as anxious to instill as [many mothers]_{4135-many mothers} to root out . [She]_{345-her mother} did not believe that to cultivate the spiritual needed the banishment of the matter of fact ; but [she]_{345-her mother} believed , that to infuse [the latter]_{608-the latter} with the former would be [their]_4123-their best and surest preventive against all that was low and mean ; [their]_4123-their best help in the realization of a constant unfailing piety . For the same reason [she]_{345-her mother} cultivated a taste for the beautiful , not only in [[her]_{345-her mother} girls]_{4027-her girls} , but in [[her]_{345-her mother} boys]_{4138-her boys} — and beauty , not in arts and nature alone , but in character . [She]_{345-her mother} did not allude to beauty of merely the high and striking kind , but to the lowly virtues , struggles , faith , and heroism in [the poor]_{4139-the poor} — [their]_{4139-the poor} forbearance and kindness to [one another]_{3969-one another} — marking something to admire , even in the most rugged and surly , that at first sight would seem so little worthy of notice . It was gradually , and almost unconsciously , to accustom [[her]_{345-her mother} daughters]_{533-her daughters} to such a train of thought and sentiment , that [she]_{345-her mother} so particularly laid aside one part of the day to have [them]_{533-her daughters} with [her]_{345-her mother} alone ; ostensibly , it was to give part of [their]_{533-her daughters} day to working for [the many poor , to whom gifts of ready - made clothing]_{4142-the many poor , to whom gifts of ready - made clothing} are sometimes much more valuable than money ; but the education of that one hour [she]_{345-her mother} knew might , for the right cultivation of the heart , do more than the mere teaching of five or six , and that education , much as [she]_{345-her mother} loved and valued [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} , [she]_{345-her mother} had from the first resolved should come from [her]_{345-her mother} alone . To [Emmeline]_78-emmeline this mode of life was so happy , [she]_{345-her mother} could not imagine any thing happier . But [Caroline]_120-caroline often and often envied [[her]_120-caroline great friend]_{4143-her great friend} [Annie Grahame]_129-annie , and believed that occasional visits to [London]_13-london would make [her]_120-caroline much happier than remaining all the year round at [Oakwood]_12-oakwood , and only with [[her]_120-caroline own family]_{4144-her own family} . [She]_120-caroline knew the expression of such sentiments would meet no sympathy at [home]_563-home , and certainly not obtain [their]_{533-her daughters} gratification , so [she]_120-caroline tried to check them , except when in company with [Annie]_129-annie and [Lady Helen]_{127-lady helen} ; but [[her]_120-caroline mother]_{345-her mother} knew [them]_{533-her daughters} , and , from the discontent and unhappiness [they]_{533-her daughters} so often engendered in [[her]_{345-her mother} child]_{350-her child} , caused [her]_{345-her mother} both pain and uneasiness . But [she]_{345-her mother} did not waver in [her]_120-caroline plans , because only in [Emmeline]_78-emmeline [they]_{533-her daughters} seemed to succeed : nor did [she]_{345-her mother} , as perhaps [some over - scrupulous mothers]_{4148-some over - scrupulous mothers} would have done , check [Caroline]_120-caroline 's association with [Miss Grahame]_{145-miss grahame} . [She]_120-caroline knew that those principles must be indeed of little worth , which could only actuate in retirement , and when free from temptation . That to prevent intimacy with all , except with those of whom [she]_120-caroline exactly approved , would be impossible , if [she]_120-caroline ever meant [[her]_120-caroline daughters]_{533-her daughters} to enter [the world]_{592-the world} ; and therefore [she]_120-caroline endeavored so to obtain [their]_{533-her daughters} unrestrained confidence and affection , as to be regarded , both now and when [they]_{533-her daughters} were [young women]_{4151-young women} , as [[their]_{533-her daughters} first , best , and truest friend]_{4152-their first , best , and truest friend} ; and that end obtained , intimacies with [[their]_{533-her daughters} young companions]_{4153-their young companions} , however varied [their]_{533-her daughters} character , [she]_120-caroline felt would do no permanent harm . "_[3420-mamma] Dear , [dear mamma]_{3422-dear mamma} ! " exclaimed [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , one morning about a week after [[her]_78-emmeline parents]_{3918-her parents} ' return , and dropping [her]_78-emmeline work to speak more eagerly , "_{[3422-dear mamma]} [you]_1005-you can not think how delightful it does seem to have [you]_1005-you at [home]_563-home again ; [I]_0-i missed this hour of the day so very much ; [I]_0-i did not know how much [I]_0-i loved it when [I]_0-i always had it , but when [you]_1005-you were away , every time the hour came [I]_0-i missed [you]_1005-you , and longed for [you]_1005-you so much that — [I]_0-i am afraid [you]_1005-you will think [me]_0-i very silly — [I]_0-i could not help crying . " "_[0-i] Why , how [Percy]_99-percy must have laughed at [you]_1005-you , [Emmy]_121-emmy ! " "_[99-percy] Indeed , [he]_99-percy did not , [mamma]_3420-mamma ; [I]_0-i think [he]_99-percy felt half inclined to cry too , the first day or two that [he]_99-percy came [home]_563-home from [[Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} 's]_{920-mr. howard 's} , and could not rush up into [[your]_1005-you dressing - room]_{1010-your dressing - room} , as [he]_99-percy always does . [He]_99-percy said it was a very different thing for [you]_1005-you to go from [home]_563-home , than for [him]_99-percy to go to [London]_13-london , and [he]_99-percy did not like it at all ; nor [Herbert]_102-herbert , nor [Caroline]_120-caroline , neither ; though [they]_1012-they did not say so much about it . " "_[1012-they] [I]_0-i did not miss [mamma]_3420-mamma after the first , quite so much as [you]_3420-mamma did , [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , " replied [[her]_78-emmeline sister]_{325-her sister} , ingenuously ; "_[3420-mamma] because when [Lady Helen]_{127-lady helen} returned from [London]_13-london , [she]_{127-lady helen} made [me]_0-i go [there]_320-there so often , and as [I]_0-i know [you]_1005-you never refuse [me]_0-i that indulgence , [mamma]_3420-mamma , and [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} did not object , [I]_0-i was glad to do so . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i have only one objection [[my]_0-i dear]_{3485-my dear} [Caroline]_120-caroline , and [I]_0-i think [you]_120-caroline know what that is . " "_{[120-caroline]} That whenever [I]_0-i am with [Annie]_129-annie [I]_0-i think and wish more about going to [London]_13-london , [mamma]_3420-mamma ; [I]_0-i am afraid [I]_0-i do ; but indeed [I]_0-i try to think that [you]_120-caroline must know what is better for [me]_0-i , and try not to be discontented , though sometimes [I]_0-i know [I]_0-i do not succeed , " and [her]_0-i eyes filled with tears . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i am satisfied that [you]_120-caroline endeavor to trust [my]_0-i experience , [my]_0-i love ; [I]_0-i am quite aware of all the difficulties [you]_120-caroline have to encounter in doing so , and therefore [your]_120-caroline most trifling conquest of self is a great source of comfort to [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i [myself]_0-i should feel that the pain of increased discontent , and so of course increased difficulty in conquering its constant accompaniment , ill temper , would more than balance the pleasure of [Annie]_129-annie 's society , and so not indulge in the one so often at the expense of the other ; but of that [you]_120-caroline are [yourself]_120-caroline [the best judge]_{1018-the best judge} , and [you]_120-caroline know in such a case [I]_0-i always permit [you]_120-caroline to be [a free agent]_{1019-a free agent} . But what has become of [Mary]_143-mary , [Emmeline]_78-emmeline ? [I]_0-i begged [Mrs. Greville]_{140-mrs. greville} to let [you]_120-caroline be as much together as possible during [my]_0-i absence ; did not [[her]_{140-mrs. greville} society]_{1020-her society} afford [you]_120-caroline some pleasure ? " "_{[140-mrs. greville]} Oh , yes , [mamma]_3420-mamma , a great deal ; but unfortunately [Mr. Greville]_{146-mr. greville} was at [home]_563-home almost all the time [you]_120-caroline were away , and [poor Mary]_143-mary could not often leave [[her]_143-mary mother]_{345-her mother} , and [I]_0-i do n't feel as if it were quite right for [me]_0-i to go so often [there]_320-there , when [he]_{146-mr. greville} is at [home]_563-home . [I]_0-i am sure [Mrs. Greville]_{140-mrs. greville} and [Mary]_143-mary must both feel still more uncomfortable when [any one]_{393-any one} is there to see how unkind [he]_{393-any one} is , and hear the cruel things [he]_{393-any one} says . Oh , how [I]_0-i do wish [I]_0-i could make poor [Mary]_143-mary more happy ! " "_{[140-mrs. greville]} [She]_{140-mrs. greville} would tell [you]_120-caroline that affection is a great comfort to [her]_{140-mrs. greville} , [Emmy]_121-emmy . " "_[121-emmy] [Yours]_1027-you and [Herbert]_102-herbert 's may be , [mamma]_3420-mamma , because [you]_1027-you are both so much better and wiser than [I]_0-i am ; but [I]_0-i can do so little , so very little . " "_[1027-you] [You]_1027-you can be and are a great source of interest to [her]_{140-mrs. greville} , [[my]_0-i dear]_{3485-my dear} ; and when [we]_1030-we wish very much to make [another person]_{1031-another person} happy , [you]_1027-you may be quite sure that the most trifling act gives pleasure ; but [Ellen]_113-ellen looks very much as if [she]_113-ellen would like to know who [this Mary]_{1032-this mary} is , that is so tried — suppose [you]_1027-you tell [her]_113-ellen . " [Emmeline]_78-emmeline eagerly obeyed , painting [[her]_78-emmeline friend]_{535-her friend} in such glowing colors , that [Ellen]_113-ellen felt , however tried [she]_113-ellen might be , [a person so good and holy]_{4157-a person so good and holy} must be happy , notwithstanding ; besides , to be loved so by [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} and [Herbert]_102-herbert , discovered to [her]_113-ellen mind such superior qualities , that [she]_113-ellen almost wondered how [Emmeline]_78-emmeline could speak of [her]_113-ellen so familiarly , and think of [her]_113-ellen as [[her]_113-ellen own particular friend]_{4158-her own particular friend} . But the conversation on [her]_113-ellen , and then on other topics , so interested [her]_113-ellen , that [she]_113-ellen was almost as sorry as [[her]_113-ellen cousin]_{4159-her cousin} , when it was interrupted by a visit from [Lady Helen Grahame]_{127-lady helen} and [[her]_{127-lady helen} daughter]_{309-her daughter} . "_[1027-you] Returned at length , dearest [Emmeline]_78-emmeline ! " was [the former]_{313-the former} 's lively greeting , and evincing far more warmth of manner than was usual to [her]_113-ellen . "_[1027-you] Do [you]_78-emmeline know , [the banks of [the Dart]_{14-the dart}]_{691-the banks of the dart} have seemed so desolate without [their]_{691-the banks of the dart} guardian spirit , that the very flowers have hung [their]_{691-the banks of the dart} heads , and the trees are withered ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i rather think the change of season , and not [my]_0-i absence , has been the cause of these melancholy facts , " replied [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , in the same tone ; "_[0-i] but even [London]_13-london will not change [your]_78-emmeline kind thoughts for [me]_0-i , [Helen]_{127-lady helen} . " "_{[127-lady helen]} Nay , [I]_0-i must follow the example of [[my]_0-i neighbors]_{1034-my neighbors} , rich and poor , whom [you]_78-emmeline may appeal to as to the fact of [your]_78-emmeline absence causing terrible lamentation ; ask [this naughty little girl]_{1035-this naughty little girl} too , who scarcely ever came to see [me]_0-i , because [she]_{1035-this naughty little girl} had so many things to do to please [mamma]_3420-mamma ; but forgive [me]_0-i , " [she]_0-i added , more seriously , as [she]_0-i glanced on the deep mourning of [[her]_0-i friend]_{535-her friend} , and indeed of [all the group]_{4163-all the group} ; "_{[78-emmeline]} what a cold , heartless being [you]_78-emmeline must believe [me]_0-i to run on in this way , when there has been so sad a cause for [your]_78-emmeline absence — poor [Eleanor]_{127-lady helen} ! " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i trust [we]_1037-we may say happy [Eleanor]_{127-lady helen} , [[my]_0-i dear [Helen]_{127-lady helen}]_{1038-my dear helen} ; mercy has indeed been shown to [her]_{127-lady helen} and to [me]_0-i — but [we]_1037-we will talk of this another time . [Annie]_129-annie , " [she]_0-i continued , addressing [Miss Grahame]_{145-miss grahame} , who was already deep in conversation with [Caroline]_120-caroline , "_[129-annie] [I]_0-i have [another little girl]_{1039-another little girl} to introduce to [you]_129-annie , whom [I]_0-i hope [you]_129-annie will be as friendly with as with [Caroline]_120-caroline and [Emmeline]_78-emmeline . " [The young lady]_{683-the young lady} turned round at the words , but [her]_{683-the young lady} sole notice of [Ellen]_113-ellen , who had come timidly forward , was a haughty stare , a fashionable courtesy , and a few unintelligible words , which caused [Emmeline]_78-emmeline to feel so indignant , that it was with difficulty [she]_{683-the young lady} kept silence , and made [Ellen]_113-ellen so uncomfortable , that it was with even more than [her]_113-ellen usual shyness , [she]_113-ellen received [Lady Helen]_{127-lady helen} 's proffered hand . "_{[78-emmeline]} And why not introduce [her]_{1039-another little girl} to [me]_0-i too , [Emmeline]_78-emmeline ? [I]_0-i knew [[your]_129-annie mother]_{3462-your mother} when [she]_{3462-your mother} was little older than [you]_129-annie are , [[my]_0-i dear]_{3485-my dear} ; so [I]_0-i hope [you]_129-annie will learn to know and to like [me]_0-i as fast as [you]_129-annie can . " [Ellen]_113-ellen might have found courage to reply for there was an interest attached to [all who had known [[her]_113-ellen mother]_{345-her mother}]_{4165-all who had known her mother} ; but as [she]_113-ellen raised [her]_113-ellen eyes to speak , [she]_113-ellen again encountered [Annie]_129-annie 's rude and disagreeable stare , and the words died on [her]_113-ellen lips . [The young party]_{3941-the young party} were , however , soon all in [the garden]_{3457-the garden} , for [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} never made any scruple in dismissing [[her]_{345-her mother} children]_{322-her children} , when [she]_{345-her mother} wished to speak on subjects [she]_{345-her mother} did not choose [them]_{322-her children} to hear ; and [she]_{345-her mother} was anxious so to relate [Eleanor]_{127-lady helen} 's illness and change of sentiment , as to remove the impressions which [her]_{345-her mother} early career had left on [Lady Helen]_{127-lady helen} 's memory . "_[129-annie] It must be nearly time for [[my]_0-i brothers]_{1042-my brothers} to be returning ; shall [we]_1043-we go and look for [them]_{1042-my brothers} , [Ellen]_113-ellen ? [I]_0-i dare say [Edward]_76-edward will have a great deal to tell [you]_113-ellen , " was [Emmeline]_78-emmeline 's affectionate address , as [Annie]_129-annie and [Caroline]_120-caroline turned in a different direction ; and generally judging [others]_756-others by [herself]_{345-her mother} , [she]_{345-her mother} thought that being [Edward]_76-edward 's first day of regular attendance on [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} , [Ellen]_113-ellen would like to know all about it as soon as possible , and [they]_{1045-your new cousins} proceeded accordingly . "_[76-edward] Well , how do [you]_1044-you like [[your]_1044-you new cousins]_{1045-your new cousins} , what are [they]_{1045-your new cousins} like ? " inquired [Miss Grahame]_{145-miss grahame} , the moment [she]_0-i had [Caroline]_120-caroline entirely to [herself]_0-i . "_[76-edward] [Edward]_76-edward [I]_0-i think [I]_0-i may like very much ; [he]_76-edward is so affectionate and so good - natured , and as merry and full of fun as [Percy]_99-percy . And [he]_76-edward is so handsome , [Annie]_129-annie , [I]_0-i think even [you]_129-annie would admire [him]_76-edward . " "_[129-annie] Then altogether [he]_76-edward must be very unlike [[his]_76-edward sister]_{561-his sister} . [I]_0-i never saw [a girl]_{4099-a girl} so plain , and [I]_0-i am sure [she]_{4099-a girl} looks as if no fun could exist near [her]_{4099-a girl} . " "_[80-mamma] [Mamma]_80-mamma says [we]_1048-we must remember how short a time has elapsed since [poor aunt]_{1049-poor aunt} 's death , and also that [Ellen]_113-ellen is not strong enough to be very lively . " "_[113-ellen] That does not at all account for [her]_{4099-a girl} looking cross . [I]_0-i am sure [she]_{4099-a girl} has nothing to be ill - tempered about ; there are [few girls in [her]_{4099-a girl} situation who would have made one of [[your]_129-annie family]_{1051-your family} , as [she]_{4099-a girl} will be]_{1050-few girls in her situation who would have made one of your family , as she will be} . [Mamma]_80-mamma said it would be a very anxious thing for [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} . " "_[80-mamma] [Mamma]_80-mamma did seem to think so , " replied [Caroline]_120-caroline , thoughtfully ; "_[80-mamma] but [I]_0-i fancy [you]_0-i are wrong , [Annie]_129-annie . [Ellen]_113-ellen has not yet given any proof of ill - temper . " "_[113-ellen] [She]_113-ellen has had no time , [[my]_0-i dear]_{3485-my dear} ; but [no one]_{3540-no one} can be deceived by such a face . [[My]_0-i cousin]_{1054-my cousin} , [Lady Adelaide Maldon]_{147-lady adelaide maldon} , told [me]_0-i [she]_{1054-my cousin} could always judge [people]_1055-people by [their]_1055-people faces . But do [you]_0-i like [her]_113-ellen as well as [[her]_113-ellen brother]_{384-her brother} , [Caroline]_120-caroline ? " "_[0-i] Ask [me]_0-i that question this day month , [[my]_0-i dear]_{3485-my dear} [Annie]_129-annie ; [I]_0-i can not answer [you]_129-annie now , for [I]_0-i really do not know . [I]_0-i certainly do not see any thing particularly striking in [her]_113-ellen yet — [I]_0-i do not understand [her]_113-ellen ; [she]_113-ellen is so dreadfully shy or timid , and so very inanimate , [one]_1058-one can not tell whether [she]_113-ellen is pleased or sorry . To tell [you]_129-annie the real truth , [I]_0-i am afraid [I]_0-i shall not like [her]_113-ellen . " "_[0-i] Why afraid ? " "_[0-i] Because [mamma]_3420-mamma would be so sorry were [she]_3420-mamma to know it . [I]_0-i know [she]_3420-mamma wishes [us]_1060-us to love [one another]_{3969-one another} . " "_[3420-mamma] Nonsense , [Caroline]_120-caroline . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} can not be so unreasonable as to expect [you]_120-caroline to love [every body alike]_{1062-every body alike} . " "_{[81-mrs. hamilton]} [Mamma]_80-mamma is never unreasonable , " replied [Caroline]_120-caroline , with spirit ; "_[80-mamma] and [I]_0-i do wish , [Annie]_129-annie , [you]_129-annie would treat [Ellen]_113-ellen exactly as [you]_129-annie do [us]_1060-us . " "_[129-annie] Indeed , [I]_0-i shall not . What is [[Colonel Fortescue]_{114-colonel fortescue} 's daughter]_{1063-colonel fortescue 's daughter} to [me]_0-i ? Now do n't be angry , [Caroline]_120-caroline , [you]_120-caroline and [I]_0-i are [too old friends]_{1064-too old friends} to quarrel for nothing : [I]_0-i shall certainly hate [Ellen]_113-ellen altogether , if [she]_113-ellen is to be a subject of dispute . Come , look kind again ; " and the caress with which [she]_0-i concluded restored [Caroline]_120-caroline 's serenity , and other subjects were discussed between [them]_1060-us . [Annie Grahame]_129-annie was a few months younger than [Caroline Hamilton]_120-caroline ( who was nearly thirteen , ) but from having been emancipated from [the nursery and school - room]_{4171-the nursery and school - room} at a very early age , and made [[her]_129-annie mother]_{345-her mother} 's companion and confidant in all [her]_129-annie home vexations — very pretty and engaging — [she]_129-annie was very much noticed , and [her]_129-annie visits to [her]_129-annie titled relations in [London]_13-london , by causing [her]_129-annie to imitate [their]_1060-us fashionable manners , terms of speech , thoughts on dress , and rank , & c. , made [her]_129-annie [a woman]_{769-a woman} many years before [her]_129-annie time ; and though to [[Lady Helen]_{127-lady helen} 's family]_{4174-lady helen 's family} and to [Lady Helen]_{127-lady helen} [herself]_{127-lady helen} this made [her]_129-annie still more agreeable , from becoming so very companionable ; to [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , and to [all , in fact , who loved childhood for childhood]_{4175-all , in fact , who loved childhood for childhood} 's sake , it was a source of real regret , as banishing all the freshness and artlessness and warmth which ought to have been the characteristics of [her]_129-annie age . [[Her]_129-annie father]_{435-her father} was [the only one of [[her]_129-annie own family]_{4144-her own family} who did not admire — and so tried to check — this assumption of fine ladyism , on the part of [[his]_{435-her father} daughter]_{586-his daughter}]_{4177-the only one of her own family who did not admire — and so tried to check — this assumption of fine ladyism , on the part of his daughter} ; but it was not likely [he]_{435-her father} could succeed , and [he]_{435-her father} only estranged from [him]_{435-her father} the affections of [[his]_{435-her father} child]_{3707-his child} . [Annie Grahame]_129-annie had [a great many fashionable acquaintances in [London]_13-london]_{4181-a great many fashionable acquaintances in london} , but [she]_129-annie still regarded [Caroline Hamilton]_120-caroline as [[her]_129-annie favorite friend]_{4182-her favorite friend} . Why , [she]_129-annie could not exactly tell , except that it was so very , very delightful to have some one in [the country]_{4131-the country} to whom [she]_129-annie could dilate on all the pleasures of [London]_13-london , display [her]_129-annie new dresses , new music , drawings , work , & c. ( not however considering it at all necessary to mention that [her]_129-annie work and drawings were only half [her]_129-annie own , and [Caroline]_120-caroline was much too truthful [herself]_120-caroline to imagine it , and [[her]_120-caroline mother]_{345-her mother} too anxious to retain that guileless simplicity to enlighten [her]_120-caroline , as [she]_120-caroline was well capable of doing ) . [Annie]_129-annie 's quick eye discovered that at such times [Caroline]_120-caroline certainly envied [her]_120-caroline , and [she]_120-caroline imagined [she]_120-caroline must be [a person of infinite consequence to excite such a feeling]_{4185-a person of infinite consequence to excite such a feeling} , and this was such a pleasant sensation , that [she]_120-caroline sought [Caroline]_120-caroline as much as possible during [their]_4186-their stay at [Moorlands]_28-moorlands . Of [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , indeed , [she]_120-caroline stood in such uncomfortable awe , though [that lady]_{4187-that lady} never addressed [her]_120-caroline except in kindness , that as [she]_120-caroline grew older , it actually became dislike ; but this only increased [her]_120-caroline intimacy with [Caroline]_120-caroline , whom [she]_120-caroline had determined should be as unlike [[her]_120-caroline mother]_{345-her mother} as possible ; and as this friendship was the only one of [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} daughter]_{586-his daughter} 's sentiments which gave [Mr. Grahame]_{148-mr. grahame} unmixed satisfaction , [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} encouraged it by bringing [them]_4186-their together as often as [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} could . [Emmeline]_78-emmeline and [Ellen]_113-ellen , meanwhile , had pursued [their]_4186-their walk in silence , both engrossed with [their]_4186-their own thoughts ( for [that children of eleven years , indeed , of any age]_{4190-that children of eleven years , indeed , of any age} , do not think , because when asked what [they]_{4190-that children of eleven years , indeed , of any age} are thinking about , [their]_{4190-that children of eleven years , indeed , of any age} answer is invariably "_[1065-she] Nothing , " is one of those mistaken notions which modern education is , [we]_4191-we hope , exploding ) . [Emmeline]_78-emmeline was so indignant with [Annie]_129-annie that [she]_78-emmeline felt more sure than ever that [she]_78-emmeline did not and could never like [her]_129-annie . "_[1065-she] [She]_1065-she is always talking of things [mamma]_3420-mamma says are of such little consequence , and is so proud and contemptuous , and [I]_0-i am afraid [she]_1065-she does not always tell the exact truth . [I]_0-i wonder if it is wrong to feel so toward [her]_1065-she ; one day when [I]_0-i am quite alone with [mamma]_3420-mamma , [I]_0-i will ask [her]_1065-she , " was the tenor of [her]_0-i meditations . But [Ellen]_113-ellen , though [Annie]_129-annie 's greeting had caused [her]_113-ellen to shrink still more into [herself]_113-ellen , and so produced pain , was not thinking only of [her]_113-ellen . The whole of that hour 's intimate association with [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had puzzled [her]_113-ellen ; [she]_113-ellen had doted on [[her]_113-ellen father]_{435-her father} — [she]_113-ellen was sure [she]_113-ellen loved [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} almost as dearly , but could [she]_113-ellen ever have given words to that affection as [Emmeline]_78-emmeline had done , and as [Edward]_76-edward always did ? and so , perhaps , after all , [she]_113-ellen did not feel as [they]_4194-they did , though the wish was so strong to caress [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} , and sit as close and lovingly by [her]_{367-her aunt} as [Herbert]_102-herbert and [Emmeline]_78-emmeline and even [Edward]_76-edward did , that its very indulgence seemed to give [her]_113-ellen pain . Then [Caroline]_120-caroline 's confession too — could [she]_113-ellen ever have had courage to confess the indulgence of a feeling which [she]_113-ellen knew to be wrong — and all [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} had said both to [Caroline]_120-caroline and [Emmeline]_78-emmeline so fastened on [her]_113-ellen mind as to make [her]_113-ellen head ache , and [she]_113-ellen quite started when a loud shout sounded near [them]_4197-they . "_[0-i] It is only [Percy]_99-percy , " said [Emmeline]_78-emmeline laughing ; "_[99-percy] [I]_0-i dare say [he]_99-percy and [Edward]_76-edward are running a race or having some sort of fun . " And so [they]_4197-they were ; laughing , shouting , panting , [they]_4197-they came full speed , darting in and out the trees in every variety of mathematical figures [their]_4197-they ingenuity could frame ; but as soon as [Percy]_99-percy 's restless eye discovered [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , [he]_99-percy directed [his]_99-percy course toward [her]_78-emmeline , exclaiming , "_[149-holla] [Holla]_149-holla , [Edward]_76-edward , stop running for to - day : come here , and let [us]_1068-us be sober . Why , [Tiny]_130-tiny , what brings [you]_130-tiny and [Ellen]_113-ellen out now ? It is not [your]_130-tiny usual time . " "_[113-ellen] [Ellen]_113-ellen , [Ellen]_113-ellen , [I]_0-i have had such a happy day ; [I]_0-i like [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} more than ever ( [he]_{128-mr. howard} had only seen [him]_{128-mr. howard} twice before . ) [I]_0-i am sure [I]_0-i shall get on with [him]_{128-mr. howard} , and [he]_{128-mr. howard} will teach [me]_0-i astronomy and navigation too , so [I]_0-i shall not be ashamed to go to [sea]_579-sea next year ; [I]_0-i shall learn so much first . " "_{[128-mr. howard]} Let [me]_0-i walk [home]_563-home with [you]_130-tiny , [dear [Edward]_76-edward]_{1071-dear edward} , and do tell [me]_0-i every thing [you]_130-tiny have done and are going to do , " asked [Ellen]_113-ellen , clinging to [his]_130-tiny arm , and looking in [his]_130-tiny face with such an expression that there was little trace of ill - temper . [Emmeline]_78-emmeline meanwhile had made [[her]_78-emmeline brother]_{384-her brother} a party in [her]_78-emmeline indignation against [Annie]_129-annie 's pride , which [he]_130-tiny termed insolence , vowing [he]_130-tiny would make [her]_78-emmeline feel it . And as [they]_4199-they came in sight of [her]_78-emmeline and [Caroline]_120-caroline , [he]_130-tiny called out to [Ellen]_113-ellen , who , all [her]_113-ellen timidity returning , tried to draw [Edward]_76-edward into another walk . "_[130-tiny] Not [there]_320-there , not there , [Miss Nelly]_91-eleanor , [you]_91-eleanor are not going to cut [me]_0-i in that fashion . [You]_91-eleanor have talked quite enough to [Edward]_76-edward and must now come to [me]_0-i . [Edward]_76-edward , there 's [mamma]_3420-mamma ; off with [you]_76-edward to tell [your]_76-edward tale of delight to [her]_3420-mamma . " And [Edward]_76-edward did not wait a second bidding , leaving [Ellen]_113-ellen to [Percy]_99-percy , who threw [his]_99-percy arm affectionately round [her]_113-ellen , and began talking to [her]_113-ellen so amusingly that [she]_113-ellen could not help laughing , and so devoted did [he]_76-edward appear to [her]_113-ellen , that [he]_76-edward had only time to greet [Miss Grahame]_{145-miss grahame} , with a very marked and polite bow , and passed on . [He]_76-edward wished to provoke , and [he]_76-edward succeeded , for [Annie]_129-annie was always particularly pleased when [the handsome , spirited Percy Hamilton]_150-percy paid [her]_129-annie any attention , and that [he]_76-edward should be so devoted to [[his]_76-edward little pale , disagreeable - looking cousin]_{4200-his little pale , disagreeable - looking cousin} , as not even to give [her]_113-ellen a word , annoyed [her]_129-annie as much as [he]_76-edward desired . [Edward]_76-edward 's hasty progress to [[his]_76-edward aunt]_{365-his aunt} was slightly checked at seeing [a stranger]_{410-a stranger} with [her]_{365-his aunt} , but when [he]_76-edward was introduced [he]_76-edward made [his]_76-edward bow with so much of [[his]_76-edward mother]_{330-his mother} 's grace , that , combined with the extraordinary likeness , and [her]_{365-his aunt} feelings already interested in [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's account of [[her]_{365-his aunt} sister]_{325-her sister} 's sufferings and death , [Lady Helen]_{127-lady helen} could not for the moment speak except to exclaim , "_[3420-mamma] Oh , how that look recalls the past ! [I]_0-i could almost fancy poor [Eleanor]_{127-lady helen} [herself]_{127-lady helen} stood before [me]_0-i . " "_{[127-lady helen]} Did [you]_1074-you — did [you]_1074-you know [[my]_0-i mother]_{890-my mother} madam ? " said [Edward]_76-edward , with so much eagerness that [his]_76-edward cheeks crimsoned and [his]_76-edward voice trembled.—"Were_[1074-you] [you]_1074-you one of [mamma's"—but]_{4205-mamma's"—but} [he]_76-edward could not finish the sentence , and leaning [his]_76-edward head against [[his]_76-edward aunt]_{365-his aunt} , [he]_76-edward burst into tears . "_{[127-lady helen]} [Poor child]_{3677-poor child} ! " said [Lady Helen]_{127-lady helen} pityingly , as [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} pressed [him]_76-edward closer to [her]_{127-lady helen} , and stooped down to kiss [his]_76-edward forehead without speaking ; and that sudden and unexpected display of feeling contrasted with [Ellen]_113-ellen 's painful shyness , stamped at once and indelibly [Lady Helen]_{127-lady helen} 's opinion of [the two orphans]_{4207-the two orphans} . A few days more brought [Mrs. Greville]_{140-mrs. greville} and [Mary]_143-mary to welcome [[their]_{4207-the two orphans} friends]_{4208-their friends} , and [Ellen]_113-ellen had again the pain of being introduced to [strangers]_{3543-strangers} ; but this time it was only the pain of [her]_113-ellen own shyness , for could [she]_113-ellen have overcome that feeling , [she]_113-ellen might have felt even pleasure . As it was , the gentle voice and manner with which [Mrs. Greville]_{140-mrs. greville} addressed [her]_{127-lady helen} , and the timid yet expressive glance of [Mary]_143-mary , told of such sympathy and kindness , that [she]_{127-lady helen} felt attracted toward both , and could quite enter into [Emmeline]_78-emmeline 's enthusiastic admiration of [[her]_78-emmeline friend]_{535-her friend} ; not , however , believing it possible that [she]_78-emmeline [herself]_78-emmeline could ever be worthy to win [Mary]_143-mary 's regard . Taught from such a very early age to believe [herself]_78-emmeline so far inferior to [Edward]_76-edward , such characters as [Herbert]_102-herbert and [Mary]_143-mary appeared to [her]_78-emmeline so exalted , that it was quite impossible [they]_4211-they could ever think of [her]_78-emmeline ; the constant little acts of unobtrusive kindness that [[her]_78-emmeline cousin]_{4159-her cousin} showed [her]_78-emmeline , [she]_78-emmeline attributed to [his]_{4159-her cousin} extreme goodness , not from the most trifling merit in [herself]_78-emmeline . [She]_78-emmeline did indeed love [him]_{4159-her cousin} very dearly , [the best next to [[her]_78-emmeline aunt]_{367-her aunt}]_{4213-the best next to her aunt} ; but so much of reverence mingled with it , that [she]_78-emmeline was almost more reserved with [him]_{4159-her cousin} than with the others . But [Herbert]_102-herbert was naturally reserved [himself]_102-herbert in words , and so [he]_102-herbert did not think any thing about it , except to wish and endeavor to make [[his]_102-herbert little cousin]_{4215-his little cousin} happier than [she]_78-emmeline seemed . When contrasting [Mary Greville]_143-mary with [Annie Grahame]_129-annie , as [she]_78-emmeline was rather fond of doing , [Emmeline]_78-emmeline became so afraid [she]_78-emmeline was disliking the latter more than [she]_78-emmeline ought to do , that [she]_78-emmeline never rested till [she]_78-emmeline made an opportunity to confess all [her]_78-emmeline feelings to [[her]_78-emmeline mother]_{345-her mother} , and beg [her]_{345-her mother} to tell [her]_{345-her mother} if they were very wrong , and if [she]_{345-her mother} ought to like [her]_{345-her mother} . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i am not so unconscionable as to expect [you]_1077-you to like [every one with whom [you]_1077-you associate , [[my]_0-i dear little girl]_{3474-my dear little girl}]_{1078-every one with whom you associate , my dear little girl} , " replied [[her]_78-emmeline mother]_{345-her mother} , fondly , for there was something in [Emmeline]_78-emmeline 's guileless confidence irresistibly claiming love . "_[1077-you] All [we]_1080-we have to do when [we]_1080-we find nothing that exactly sympathizes with [our]_1080-we own feelings , or [our]_1080-we own ideas of right and wrong , is to try and find out some reason for [their]_1081-them being so different ; some circumstance that may have exposed [them]_1081-them to greater temptations and trials , for [you]_1082-you know [I]_0-i have often told [you]_1082-you pleasure and amusements , if too much indulged in , are a much greater trial to some than sorrow and pain . Now [Annie]_129-annie has had a great many more temptations of this kind than [you]_1082-you or [Mary]_143-mary , and [we]_1080-we can not expect one so very young entirely to resist [them]_1081-them . " "_[3420-mamma] Do [you]_1077-you mean , [mamma]_3420-mamma , [her]_129-annie going out so much in [London]_13-london ? " "_[1084-love] Yes , [love]_1084-love ; [she]_129-annie is very much noticed , and so perhaps thinks a little more of appearance and dress and pleasure than is quite necessary . " "_[129-annie] But [Lady Helen]_{127-lady helen} need not take [her]_129-annie out so much , if [she]_{127-lady helen} did not like . Do [you]_1077-you think [she]_{127-lady helen} is quite right to do so ? " asked [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , very thoughtfully . "_[1077-you] [We]_1080-we must never pronounce judgment on [other people]_{1085-other people} 's actions , [[my]_0-i little girl]_{3465-my little girl} . [I]_0-i think it better not to interrupt [your]_{3465-my little girl} present quiet and [I]_0-i hope happy life , and therefore [I]_0-i do not take [you]_{3465-my little girl} or [Caroline]_120-caroline to [London]_13-london ; but [Mr. Grahame]_{148-mr. grahame} is obliged to be [there]_320-there for several months , and [Lady Helen]_{127-lady helen} very naturally would not like to be separated either from [him]_{148-mr. grahame} or [[her]_{127-lady helen} children]_{322-her children} . And then [she]_{127-lady helen} has such [a large family]_{1089-a large family} , and [Annie]_129-annie so many young relations , that [you]_{3465-my little girl} see [Lady Helen]_{127-lady helen} could not keep [[her]_{127-lady helen} children]_{322-her children} quite as free from temptation as [I]_0-i do mine , and [we]_1091-we should be more sorry for [Annie]_129-annie than blame [her]_129-annie individually , however [we]_1091-we may not like [her]_129-annie faults . Do [you]_{3465-my little girl} understand [me]_0-i , [[my]_0-i dear]_{3485-my dear} ? " "_[3420-mamma] Oh , yes , [mamma]_3420-mamma , and [I]_0-i am so glad [I]_0-i took courage to tell [you]_3420-mamma all [I]_0-i felt . [I]_0-i am afraid [I]_0-i have encouraged many unkind thoughts about [her]_129-annie , and [I]_0-i am quite sorry now , for [I]_0-i see [she]_129-annie can not help [them]_1094-them as much as [I]_0-i thought [she]_129-annie could . [I]_0-i do not think [I]_0-i could ever make [her]_129-annie [[my]_0-i friend]_{1095-my friend} , but [I]_0-i will try very much not to dislike and avoid [her]_129-annie . " "_[0-i] And that is all that is required of [you]_3420-mamma , [[my]_0-i love]_{3456-my love} . When [I]_0-i tell [you]_3420-mamma that [[our]_1097-we Father]_{1098-our father} in [Heaven]_8-heaven commands [us]_1097-we to love [one another]_{3969-one another} , and to avoid all unkindness in thought and deed , [I]_0-i do not mean that [He]_{1098-our father} desires [us]_1097-we to love all alike , because [He]_{1098-our father} knew it would be neither for [our]_1097-we happiness nor good that it should be so , but only to prevent the too great influence of prejudice and dislike . [We]_1097-we might think such feelings can do no harm , because only confined to [our]_1097-we own minds , but [they]_1100-they would be sure gradually to lead [us]_1097-we to taking pleasure in listening to [their]_1100-they dispraise , and joining in it , and to seeing and talking only of [their]_1100-they faults , forgetting that if [we]_1097-we had been circumstanced exactly as [they]_1100-they are , [we]_1097-we might have been just the same : and this is the feeling [David]_151-david condemns in one of the Psalms [we]_1097-we read this morning . Are [you]_1101-you tired of listening to [me]_0-i , [dearest]_861-dearest , or shall [we]_1097-we read it over again together ? " [Emmeline]_78-emmeline 's only answer was to run eagerly for [her]_78-emmeline little Bible , and with glowing cheeks and sparkling eyes listen to [[her]_78-emmeline mother]_{345-her mother} , as [she]_0-i turned to the fifteenth Psalm , and reading it through , particularly pointed out the third verse , and so explained it , as easily and happily to satisfy [[her]_0-i child]_{350-her child} as to the Divine authority for all that [she]_0-i had said , and to stamp them still more forcibly on [her]_78-emmeline memory . "_[1101-you] And now [I]_0-i do not mean to talk to [you]_1101-you any more , [[my]_0-i darling]_{1103-my darling} , " [she]_0-i said , kissing the little earnest face upturned to [hers]_0-i . "_[0-i] [You]_1101-you have heard quite enough to think about , and [I]_0-i am sure [you]_1101-you will not forget it , so go and play ; [Ellen]_113-ellen must be wondering what has become of [you]_1101-you . " And again full of glee , [the happy child]_{4220-the happy child} bounded away , exclaiming , as [she]_0-i did so , "_[113-ellen] [Poor Annie]_152-annie , [I]_0-i am glad [I]_0-i am not exposed to such temptations , for [I]_0-i am sure [I]_0-i should not be able to resist [them]_1104-them either . " But though [any one who had seen [her]_0-i the next half hour]_{4221-any one who had seen her the next half hour} might have fancied that a serious thought or sober task could not approach [her]_0-i , neither the conversation nor the Psalm was forgotten ; with [Herbert]_102-herbert 's explanatory assistance , [she]_0-i not only found the Psalm , but committed it to memory ; and the second Sunday after [her]_0-i conversation with [[her]_0-i mother]_{345-her mother} , repeated it so correctly and prettily to [[her]_0-i father]_{435-her father} , as to give [her]_0-i the delight of [his]_{435-her father} caressing approbation . Learning correctly by rote was always [her]_0-i greatest trial , for [her]_0-i vivid fancy and very versatile powers occasioned [her]_0-i actual lessons to be considered such drudgery , as to require a great effort on [her]_0-i part to retain them . The sense , indeed , if [she]_0-i understood it , [she]_0-i learned quickly enough ; but [she]_0-i preferred [her]_0-i own language to [any one]_{393-any one} 's else , and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had some difficulty in making [her]_0-i understand that in time of study [she]_0-i required correctness , and not fancy ; and that the attention which was necessary to conquer the words as well as the sense of the lesson , was much more important and valuable , however disagreeable it might seem , than the facility of changing the language to something prettier than the original . When , therefore , as in the present case , [she]_0-i voluntarily undertook , and conquered really a difficult task for [a little lively girl]_{4225-a little lively girl} , [[her]_0-i parents]_{3918-her parents} had no scruple in giving the only reward [she]_0-i cared for — [their]_{3918-her parents} approbation . It was in the bestowal of praise [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} was compelled to be almost painfully guarded . [She]_0-i found that the least expression of unusual approbation caused [Caroline]_120-caroline to relax in [her]_120-caroline efforts , thinking [she]_120-caroline had done quite enough , and perniciously increasing [her]_120-caroline already too exalted ideas of [herself]_120-caroline . While to [Emmeline]_78-emmeline it was the most powerful incentive to a continuance in improvement , and determined conquest of [her]_78-emmeline faults . There was constantly a dread on [the mother]_{458-the mother} 's heart , that [Caroline]_120-caroline would one day accuse [her]_{458-the mother} of partiality , from the different measure of [her]_{458-the mother} approbation which [she]_{458-the mother} was compelled to bestow ; and yet painful as it was to persevere under such an impression , the future welfare of both was too precious to be risked for the gratification of the present . [She]_0-i was watching with delight [Emmeline]_78-emmeline 's unrestrained enjoyment of [[her]_0-i father]_{435-her father} 's caresses and lively conversation , in which [Percy]_150-percy as usual joined — for [Tiny]_130-tiny , as [he]_150-percy chose to call [her]_0-i , was [his]_150-percy especial pet and plaything — when [she]_0-i was startled by a low and evidently suppressed sob near [her]_0-i ; [Ellen]_113-ellen was bending over a book of Bible - stories which [Herbert]_102-herbert had lent [her]_113-ellen , and [her]_113-ellen long ringlets completely concealed [her]_113-ellen face ; [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} and [Caroline]_120-caroline both looked up surprised , but a rapid sign from [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} prevented [their]_4229-their making any remark . [Herbert]_102-herbert fixed [his]_102-herbert eyes pityingly on [[his]_102-herbert little cousin]_{4215-his little cousin} as if wishing but not liking to address [her]_113-ellen . [Edward]_76-edward was [the only one of [the party]_{4232-the party} who moved]_{4231-the only one of the party who moved} . [He]_150-percy was busily engaged in examining [a large [Noah]_153-noah 's ark]_{4233-a large noah 's ark} , and speculating as to its resemblance to [a ship]_{3845-a ship} , and its powers of floating , but after a few minutes ' apparent thought [he]_150-percy left [it]_{4233-a large noah 's ark} , and sitting down on [Ellen]_113-ellen 's chair , put [his]_150-percy arm round [her]_113-ellen , and begged [her]_113-ellen to find a picture of [Noah]_153-noah 's ark , and see if it were at all like the toy . Cheered by [his]_150-percy affection , [she]_113-ellen conquered with a strong effort the choking in [her]_113-ellen throat , and turned to the page , and tried to sympathize in [his]_150-percy wonder if it really were like the vessel in which [Noah]_153-noah was saved , and where [he]_150-percy could have put all the animals . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} joined [them]_{4232-the party} , and without taking more notice of [Ellen]_113-ellen 's very pale cheeks and heavy eyes , than gently to put back the thick tresses that seemed to annoy [her]_113-ellen by their weight , gave [them]_{4232-the party} so much interesting information on the subject , and so delighted [Edward]_76-edward with allowing [him]_76-edward to drag down several books from [the library]_{3958-the library} to find out all [they]_{4232-the party} said about it , that two hours slipped away quite unconsciously ; and [Ellen]_113-ellen 's very painful feeling had been so soothed , that [she]_113-ellen could smile , and join [Emmeline]_78-emmeline in making all the animals walk in grand procession to [[their]_{4232-the party} temporary dwelling]_{4236-their temporary dwelling} . But [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} did not forget [the child]_{346-the child} 's involuntary evidence of suffering , and vainly tried to imagine what at that moment could have caused it . [Herbert]_102-herbert seemed to think about it , too , for the next day [she]_{561-his sister} heard [him]_102-herbert ask [Edward]_76-edward — "_[1105-he] If [he]_1105-he knew why [[his]_1105-he sister]_{561-his sister} always looked so sad ? if [he]_1105-he thought it was because [she]_{561-his sister} was not yet reconciled to [Oakwood]_12-oakwood ? " "_[1105-he] It is not that , " was [Edward]_76-edward 's reply : "_[1105-he] [she]_{561-his sister} has always looked and seemed sad , as long as [I]_0-i can remember [her]_{561-his sister} . One reason may be , [she]_{561-his sister} was always ill in [India]_7-india , and [papa]_3546-papa was often telling [me]_0-i how very much [she]_{561-his sister} suffered , and how patiently [she]_{561-his sister} bore it ; and then , too , [she]_{561-his sister} knew [I]_0-i was [poor mamma 's favorite]_{1108-poor mamma 's favorite} , ( [his]_1105-he voice trembled ) , and that used to make [her]_{561-his sister} very unhappy ; but [I]_0-i do not know why [she]_{561-his sister} is so very sad now , unless [she]_{561-his sister} is ill again , and that [no one]_{3540-no one} can tell , for [she]_{561-his sister} never will complain . " "_{[561-his sister]} Was [[your]_0-i sister]_{1110-your sister} such [a constant sufferer]_{1111-a constant sufferer} then ? " inquired [[his]_76-edward aunt]_{365-his aunt} . "_{[561-his sister]} Come here , and tell [me]_0-i all [you]_0-i can about [her]_{561-his sister} [Edward]_76-edward . [I]_0-i wish [I]_0-i could know more about both [your]_0-i lives in [India]_7-india . " [Edward]_76-edward , with eager willingness , communicated all [he]_76-edward knew , though , from [his]_76-edward being so constantly with [[his]_76-edward mother]_{330-his mother} , and [Ellen]_113-ellen so much left with [[her]_113-ellen father]_{435-her father} and [herself]_113-ellen , that all was little enough ; adding , however , that after [her]_113-ellen very dangerous illness , when [she]_113-ellen was eight years old , [he]_76-edward perfectly well remembered hearing [some celebrated physician]_{4241-some celebrated physician} say to [[his]_76-edward father]_{406-his father} [she]_113-ellen would probably feel the effects of it all [her]_113-ellen life . "_[0-i] It was a very long time before [mamma]_80-mamma permitted [me]_0-i to see [her]_1112-she , " added [Edward]_76-edward , "_[80-mamma] and when [I]_0-i did , [I]_0-i remember being almost frightened , [she]_1112-she was so altered , so pale , and thin , and weak ; and then [she]_1112-she was very ill after [poor papa]_{1113-poor papa} 's death ; but since then [she]_1112-she has never complained , and never kept [her]_1112-she bed ; but [I]_0-i know [she]_1112-she is often in pain , for when [I]_0-i have touched [her]_1112-she forehead sometimes , it has burnt [my]_0-i hand like fire . " This childish explanation certainly told [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} more than [she]_113-ellen had known before ; but that [Ellen]_113-ellen had witnessed the fearful scene of [[her]_113-ellen father]_{435-her father} 's death was still concealed . [Edward]_76-edward , as [he]_76-edward grew older , though [he]_76-edward did not know why , seemed to shrink from the subject , particularly that [he]_76-edward had been at a ball the same awful night . A few days afterward , as [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} was crossing [the large hall]_{4244-the large hall} on [her]_113-ellen way to [the school - room]_{544-the school - room} — for so , spite of [Percy]_150-percy 's determination that [it]_{544-the school - room} should receive the more learned and refined appellation of [studio]_4246-studio , it was still called — [she]_113-ellen overheard [Caroline]_120-caroline 's voice , exclaiming in angry impatience — "_[0-i] Indeed , [I]_0-i shall not , [I]_0-i have enough to do with [my]_0-i own lessons , without attending to [other people]_{1085-other people} 's . It is [your]_1115-your idleness , [Ellen]_113-ellen , not the difficulty of [your]_1115-your lesson ; for [I]_0-i am sure it is easy enough . " "_[0-i] For shame , [Caroline]_120-caroline ! " was [Emmeline]_78-emmeline 's indignant reply "_[113-ellen] [She]_113-ellen is not idle , and [I]_0-i am sure [her]_113-ellen lesson is not so easy ; [I]_0-i wish [I]_0-i could explain it properly . " "_{[120-caroline]} [You]_120-caroline know [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} [herself]_{112-miss harcourt} said [she]_{112-miss harcourt} was careless or idle to - day , and [she]_{112-miss harcourt} must know . [I]_0-i am not going to lose [my]_0-i hour of recreation to help those who wo n't help [themselves]_{1116-themselves} . " "_[1115-your] How can [you]_1115-your be so ill - natured , so unkind ! " began [Emmeline]_78-emmeline ; but [Ellen]_113-ellen 's beseeching voice interrupted [her]_78-emmeline — "_[1115-your] Do not quarrel with [[your]_120-caroline sister]_{1110-your sister} on [my]_0-i account , [dearest [Emmeline]_78-emmeline]_{3501-dearest emmeline} ; [I]_0-i dare say [I]_0-i am very stupid , but [my]_0-i head does feel confused to - day ; pray do not mind [me]_0-i , [dear Emmy]_121-emmy ; go with [Caroline]_120-caroline , [aunt Emmeline]_78-emmeline will not like [your]_120-caroline remaining in . " [Caroline]_120-caroline had already quitted [the room]_{356-the room} , and in [her]_120-caroline haste ran against [[her]_120-caroline mother]_{345-her mother} , who [she]_120-caroline instantly perceived had heard all [she]_120-caroline said . With a deep blush , [she]_120-caroline turned as to re - enter [the school - room]_{544-the school - room} , but [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} stopped [her]_120-caroline — "_{[78-emmeline]} No , " [she]_0-i said , gravely , "_{[78-emmeline]} if [you]_120-caroline are only to act kindly for fear of [my]_0-i reproof , it will do no good either to [yourself]_120-caroline or [Ellen]_113-ellen . [I]_0-i could scarcely have believed it possible [you]_120-caroline should so have spoken , had [I]_0-i not heard it . Go and amuse [yourself]_120-caroline as [you]_120-caroline intended ; [I]_0-i rather think had [you]_120-caroline given up a little of [your]_120-caroline time to help [[your]_120-caroline cousin]_{929-your cousin} , [you]_120-caroline would have experienced more real pleasure than [you]_120-caroline will now feel all day . " "_{[3422-dear mamma]} [Dear mamma]_{3422-dear mamma} , will [you]_{3422-dear mamma} help [Ellen]_113-ellen ? " asked [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , very timidly , for though at [Ellen]_113-ellen 's reiterated entreaty [she]_78-emmeline had left [her]_78-emmeline , [she]_78-emmeline felt it almost disrespect to run across [the hall]_{836-the hall} while [[her]_78-emmeline mother]_{345-her mother} was speaking ; and the thought suddenly crossed [her]_78-emmeline that , as [she]_78-emmeline was quite sure [Ellen]_113-ellen was not idle though [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} thought [she]_113-ellen was , [[her]_78-emmeline mother]_{345-her mother} , by assisting [her]_78-emmeline , might save [her]_78-emmeline from increased displeasure . "_{[3422-dear mamma]} Yes , dearest , if necessary ; [I]_0-i have heard enough to satisfy [me]_0-i that [you]_1121-you would if [you]_1121-you could ; and so [I]_0-i will , for [your]_1121-you sake . " And [Emmeline]_78-emmeline ran away , quite happy , to try all [she]_78-emmeline could to soothe [Caroline]_120-caroline , whose self - reproach had as usual terminated in a fit of ill - temper and anger against [Ellen]_113-ellen , instead of against [herself]_120-caroline . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} entered [the school - room]_{544-the school - room} , and stood by [Ellen]_113-ellen so quietly that [the child]_{346-the child} did not perceive [her]_78-emmeline . [Her]_113-ellen attention was completely absorbed in [her]_113-ellen book ; but after a few minutes [she]_0-i suddenly pushed it from [her]_113-ellen , and exclaiming almost passionately : "_[0-i] [I]_0-i can not learn it , try all [I]_0-i can ! and [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} will be so very , very angry"—and [she]_0-i gave way , for the first time since [her]_0-i arrival at [Oakwood]_12-oakwood , to a violent burst of tears . "_{[112-miss harcourt]} What is this very , very difficult lesson , [[my]_0-i little [Ellen]_113-ellen]_{1122-my little ellen} ! " inquired [[her]_0-i aunt]_{367-her aunt} , kindly taking one hand from [her]_{367-her aunt} face . "_[113-ellen] Tell [me]_0-i , and [we]_1123-we shall be able to learn it together , perhaps . " "_[113-ellen] Oh , no , no ! it is because [I]_0-i am so very stupid ; [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} has explained it to [me]_0-i twice , and [I]_0-i know , [I]_0-i know , [I]_0-i ought to understand it — but — " "_{[112-miss harcourt]} Well , then , never mind it to - day . [We]_1123-we can all learn much better some days than [others]_756-others , [you]_113-ellen know ; and [I]_0-i dare say to - morrow [you]_113-ellen will be able to conquer it . " "_[0-i] But [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} is already displeased , and [she]_{112-miss harcourt} will be still more so , if [I]_0-i leave it without [her]_{112-miss harcourt} permission , " replied [the sobbing girl]_{4256-the sobbing girl} , longing , but not daring , to throw [her]_{4256-the sobbing girl} arms round [[her]_{4256-the sobbing girl} aunt]_{367-her aunt} 's neck , and lean [her]_{4256-the sobbing girl} aching head against [her]_{4256-the sobbing girl} bosom . "_{[112-miss harcourt]} Not if [I]_0-i beg a reprieve , " replied [[her]_{4256-the sobbing girl} aunt]_{367-her aunt} , smiling ; "_[0-i] but [you]_113-ellen must not let it make [you]_113-ellen so very unhappy , [Ellen]_113-ellen . [I]_0-i am afraid it is not only [your]_113-ellen lesson , but that [you]_113-ellen are ill , or unhappy about something else . Tell [me]_0-i , [dearest]_861-dearest , what can [I]_0-i do to make [you]_113-ellen more happy , more at [home]_563-home ? " "_[0-i] Oh , nothing , nothing ! " replied [Ellen]_113-ellen , struggling with [her]_113-ellen tears . "_[0-i] Indeed [I]_0-i am happier than [I]_0-i ever thought [I]_0-i could be ; [I]_0-i must be very ungrateful to make [you]_113-ellen think [I]_0-i am unhappy , when [you]_113-ellen are so good and so kind . [My]_0-i head ached to - day , and that always makes [me]_0-i feel a wish to cry ; but indeed [I]_0-i am not unhappy , and never when [you]_113-ellen kiss [me]_0-i and call [me]_0-i [[your]_113-ellen Ellen]_{1127-your ellen} , whatever [I]_0-i may feel when [you]_113-ellen are not by ; " and , as if frightened at [her]_113-ellen own confession , [she]_113-ellen hid [her]_113-ellen face in [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} 's dress . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} lifted [her]_113-ellen into [her]_0-i lap , and kissed [her]_113-ellen without speaking . "_[113-ellen] [You]_113-ellen must learn to love [me]_0-i more and more then , [[my]_0-i [Ellen]_113-ellen]_{1128-my ellen} , " [she]_0-i said , after a pause , "_[113-ellen] and when [you]_113-ellen are feeling ill or in pain , [you]_113-ellen must not be afraid to tell [me]_0-i , or [I]_0-i shall think that [you]_113-ellen only fancy [you]_113-ellen love [me]_0-i . " "_[0-i] Oh , no , it is not fancy ; [I]_0-i never loved [any one]_{393-any one} as [I]_0-i do [you]_113-ellen — except [papa]_3546-papa — [[my]_0-i own darling]_{1131-my own darling} , [good papa]_{1132-good papa} ! " the word was almost choked with sobs . "_[3546-papa] [He]_3546-papa used to fondle [me]_0-i and praise [me]_0-i , and call [me]_0-i [[his]_3546-papa darling]_{681-his darling} [Ellen]_113-ellen , as [uncle Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} did [Emmeline]_78-emmeline last Sunday ; and when [I]_0-i was ill , so ill [they]_1134-they said [I]_0-i should die , [he]_3546-papa never left [me]_0-i , except when [his]_3546-papa military duties called [him]_3546-papa away ; and [he]_3546-papa used to nurse [me]_0-i , and try to amuse [me]_0-i , that [I]_0-i might forget pain and weakness . Oh , [I]_0-i shall never , never forget that dreadful night ! " and [she]_0-i closed [her]_0-i eyes and shuddered , as the horrid scene of blood and death flashed before [her]_0-i . "_[3546-papa] What dreadful night [[my]_0-i poor child]_{866-my poor child} ? " inquired [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , soothingly , after doubting whether or not it would be better for [Ellen]_113-ellen to pursue such an evidently painful theme , and no longer requiring an explanation of [her]_113-ellen emotion the previous Sabbath . "_[3546-papa] The night [poor papa]_{1113-poor papa} was killed;—oh , there were so many horrid forms on the grass , [the natives]_{854-the natives} and [[poor papa]_{1113-poor papa} 's own men]_{1139-poor papa 's own men} , and [they]_1140-they looked so ghastly in the moonlight , and the grass was covered with blood and limbs and heads that had been shot off ; and there were such cries and groans of pain — [I]_0-i see it , [I]_0-i hear it all again so often before [I]_0-i go to sleep , and when [my]_0-i head feels as it does to - day , and fancy [I]_0-i hear [poor papa]_{1113-poor papa} 's last words and feel [his]_{1113-poor papa} kiss as [he]_{1113-poor papa} lay bleeding , bleeding slowly to death and [his]_{1113-poor papa} voice was so strange , and [his]_{1113-poor papa} lips so cold ! " "_{[1113-poor papa]} But how came [you]_{866-my poor child} in such a dreadful scene , [[my]_0-i poor [Ellen]_113-ellen]_{869-my poor ellen} ? who could have permitted [such a little child]_{1143-such a little child} to be [there]_320-there ? " "_[1145-they] Because [I]_0-i wished it so very much ; [I]_0-i knew [he]_{1113-poor papa} would die before [they]_1145-they could bring [him]_{1113-poor papa} to [me]_0-i , and [I]_0-i did so want to feel [his]_{1113-poor papa} kiss and hear [his]_{1113-poor papa} voice once more . Oh , [aunt Emmeline]_78-emmeline ! shall [I]_0-i never see [him]_{1113-poor papa} again ? [I]_0-i know [he]_{1113-poor papa} can not come to [me]_0-i ; but shall [I]_0-i , oh , shall [I]_0-i ever be good enough to go to [him]_{1113-poor papa} ? " And [she]_0-i looked up in [[her]_0-i aunt]_{367-her aunt} 's face with such a countenance of beseeching entreaty , that [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's eyes filled with tears , and it was a full minute before [she]_0-i could speak ; but when [she]_0-i did , [Ellen]_113-ellen felt more relieved and comforted , than on the subject of [[her]_113-ellen father]_{435-her father} 's death [she]_113-ellen had ever felt before . From [[her]_113-ellen mother]_{345-her mother} not being able to bear the subject even partially alluded to , and from having [no one to whom [she]_113-ellen could speak of it]_{4263-no one to whom she could speak of it} , it had taken a still stronger hold of [her]_113-ellen imagination ; and whenever [she]_113-ellen was unusually weak , and [her]_113-ellen head aching and confused , it became still more vivid . The very visible sympathy and interest of [[her]_0-i aunt]_{367-her aunt} , and the gentle words in which [she]_113-ellen tried to turn [the child]_{346-the child} 's thoughts from that scene of horror to the happiness of [[her]_113-ellen father]_{435-her father} in [Heaven]_4122-heaven , and an assurance that , if [she]_113-ellen tried to do [her]_113-ellen duty , and to love and serve [God]_85-god , and trust in [His]_{435-her father} mercy to render [her]_113-ellen efforts acceptable , [she]_113-ellen would rejoin [him]_{435-her father} , seemed to remove the mass of tangled thought within [her]_113-ellen young mind . [Her]_113-ellen head , indeed , still ached very painfully , and [her]_113-ellen eyes seemed as if they would close , notwithstanding all [her]_113-ellen efforts to keep them open ; but when [she]_113-ellen awoke from a long quiet sleep , on the sofa in [[Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's dressing - room]_{4268-mrs. hamilton 's dressing - room} , where [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} had laid [her]_113-ellen , and found [that kind friend]_{4270-that kind friend} still watching over [her]_113-ellen , the little heart and temples had ceased to throb so quickly , and [she]_113-ellen felt better and happier . [Mr. Maitland]_{154-mr. maitland} , [the medical friend of [the family]_{3915-the family}]_{4271-the medical friend of the family} , confirmed the opinion which [Edward]_76-edward had said [[their]_{3915-the family} physician]_{4273-their physician} in [India]_7-india had given of [[his]_76-edward sister]_{561-his sister} 's state of health . [He]_{154-mr. maitland} did not , [he]_{154-mr. maitland} said , consider [her]_113-ellen liable to serious illness , or of a constitution that would not endure ; but that [he]_{154-mr. maitland} feared it would be some years before [she]_113-ellen knew the blessing of really good health , and be constantly subject to that lassitude , severe headache , and the depression of the whole system thence proceeding , which must prevent the liveliness and quickness of acquirement natural to [most children]_{4275-most children} . [He]_{154-mr. maitland} thought the evil had been very greatly increased by want of sufficient care in early years , and the unwholesome climate in which [she]_113-ellen had so long lived , that [he]_{154-mr. maitland} wondered [[her]_113-ellen mother]_{345-her mother} had not been advised to send [her]_113-ellen over to [England]_10-england , adding , with a smile , [he]_{154-mr. maitland} was quite sure [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} would not have refused the charge , anxious as it might have been . And earnestly , not only on account of [the child]_{346-the child} 's physical but mental health , did [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} wish that such had been the case , and that [she]_{345-her mother} had had the care of [[her]_{345-her mother} niece]_{372-her niece} from earliest infancy ; and how much more would [she]_{345-her mother} have wished this , had [she]_{345-her mother} known that [Mrs. Fortescue]_{73-mrs. fortescue} had really been advised to do with [Ellen]_113-ellen as [Mr. Maitland]_{154-mr. maitland} had said , but that believing it merely an idle fancy , and persisting , too , in [her]_{345-her mother} own headstrong idea , that it was ill - temper , not illness , which rendered [Ellen]_113-ellen so disagreeable , [she]_{345-her mother} would not stoop so to conquer [her]_{345-her mother} unfortunate pride as to ask such a favor of [[her]_{345-her mother} relatives]_{4279-her relatives} , and to whom else could [she]_{345-her mother} appeal ? [Colonel Fortescue]_{114-colonel fortescue} had none but [distant cousins]_{4280-distant cousins} . [She]_{345-her mother} did satisfy a qualm of conscience by once suggesting to [[her]_{345-her mother} husband]_{340-her husband} — as [her]_{345-her mother} own idea , however , not as that of [an experienced physician]_{4282-an experienced physician} — that as [he]_{340-her husband} fancied [Ellen]_113-ellen was always ill , [she]_113-ellen might be better in [England]_10-england ; but , as [she]_{345-her mother} expected , not only [his]_{340-her husband} intense love for [[his]_{340-her husband} little girl]_{3651-his little girl} rose up against the idea of separation , but [his]_{340-her husband} pride revolted from sending [her]_113-ellen to claim the pity of [relatives who had so completely cast off [[her]_113-ellen parents]_{3918-her parents}]_{4284-relatives who had so completely cast off her parents} : yet had [he]_{340-her husband} been told it was absolutely necessary for [her]_113-ellen health and so greatly for [her]_113-ellen happiness , [he]_{340-her husband} would not have hesitated to sacrifice every thought of self . But [Eleanor]_{127-lady helen} , satisfied that [she]_{127-lady helen} had done [her]_{127-lady helen} duty , and delighted that in one respect [he]_{340-her husband} was quite as proud as [she]_{127-lady helen} was , never again referred to the subject , and [the physician who had thus advised , from [his]_{340-her husband} constant removals]_{4286-the physician who had thus advised , from his constant removals} , [he]_{340-her husband} never chanced to meet . Great , indeed , was the amount of childish suffering which this selfish decision , on the part of [[her]_113-ellen mother]_{345-her mother} , occasioned [Ellen]_113-ellen . [We]_4288-we do not mean the pain of constant languor itself , though that in its full amount [[our]_4288-we happy healthful young readers]_{4289-our happy healthful young readers} can not have the least idea of : [they]_{4289-our happy healthful young readers} , perhaps , think it almost a pleasant change , the care , and petting , and presents so often lavished on a brief decided illness : but that is a very different thing to that kind of suffering which only so affects [them]_{4289-our happy healthful young readers} as to be dull and heavy , [they]_{4289-our happy healthful young readers} do not know why , and to make it such a very difficult task to learn the lessons others find so easy ; and such a pain sometimes to move , that [they]_{4289-our happy healthful young readers} are thought slow and unwilling , and perhaps even idle , when [they]_{4289-our happy healthful young readers} would gladly run , and help , and work as [others]_756-others ; and so weak sometimes , that tears start at the first harsh or unkind word , and they are thought cross , when [they]_{4289-our happy healthful young readers} do not in the least feel so ; and this , not for a few weeks , but , with few exceptions , the trial of months and even years . And this was [Ellen's]_155-ellen's — which not even the tenderest and most unfailing care of [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} could entirely guard [her]_113-ellen from . It is a most difficult thing for [those who are strong and healthy [themselves]_{4292-those who are strong and healthy themselves to understand and always bear with physical suffering in others} to understand and always bear with physical suffering in [others]_756-others]_{4292-those who are strong and healthy themselves to understand and always bear with physical suffering in others} . [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} , though in general free from any thing like prejudice , and ardently desirous to follow up [her]_{112-miss harcourt} own and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's ideas of right and wrong , could not so govern [her]_{112-miss harcourt} affections as to feel the same toward [Ellen]_113-ellen as [she]_{112-miss harcourt} did toward [Edward]_76-edward and [the children [she]_{112-miss harcourt} had lived with and taught so long]_{4294-the children she had lived with and taught so long} . [Her]_{112-miss harcourt} task with [Ellen]_113-ellen required more patience and forbearance and care than with either of [the others]_{4295-the others} , and sometimes [she]_{112-miss harcourt} could not help believing and acting toward [her]_113-ellen as if it were willful idleness and carelessness , not the languor of disease . With the recollection and evidence of [Herbert]_102-herbert , who had been delicate from [his]_102-herbert birth , and who was [yet of such a remarkably gifted mind , and so bright in aspect , so sweet in temper , that illness]_{4296-yet of such a remarkably gifted mind , and so bright in aspect , so sweet in temper , that illness} seemed to have spiritualized instead of deadened every faculty , [she]_{112-miss harcourt} could not understand , as [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} did , the force of circumstances in producing from nearly the same cause two much different effects , nor how it was that complete neglect had engendered more evils than indiscreet indulgence ; but that it appeared to have done so , was unhappily only too evident not only to [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} but to [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} . It seemed almost surprising , and certainly a proof of a remarkably good disposition , that [Edward]_76-edward appeared so free from great faults , and of such a warm , generous , frank , and seemingly unselfish nature , so open to conviction and to all good impressions , that , except occasional fits of violent passion , there really was , as far as [[his]_76-edward aunt]_{365-his aunt} and uncle could perceive , nothing to complain of . [They]_4298-they did not know that [he]_76-edward stood in such awe of [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , from [[his]_76-edward mother]_{330-his mother} 's lessons of [his]_76-edward exceeding sternness , that [he]_76-edward exercised the greatest control over [himself]_76-edward ; and [he]_76-edward was so excessively fond of [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} , and [his]_76-edward days glided by in such varied and delightful employment , that there was no temptation to do wrong , except certain acts of trifling disobedience , of more consequence from the self - will [they]_4298-they betrayed than the acts themselves , but which might have been sources of anxiety to [[his]_76-edward aunt]_{365-his aunt} , and lessened [her]_{365-his aunt} confidence in [him]_76-edward had [she]_{365-his aunt} known [them]_4298-they ; but [she]_{365-his aunt} did not , for [Ellen]_113-ellen not only constantly concealed , but [she]_113-ellen was [the sufferer]_{4301-the sufferer} for [him]_76-edward , and so brought reproof and suspicion on [herself]_113-ellen , which , could the truth have been known , might have been averted . But truth of act as well as word had never been impressed on [Edward]_76-edward ; and , therefore , though [he]_76-edward was constitutionally too brave to utter a falsehood , too honorable to shield [himself]_76-edward at the expense of another , if [he]_76-edward knew that other suffered , [he]_76-edward had been too long taught to believe that [Ellen]_113-ellen was [[his]_76-edward inferior]_{3676-his inferior} , and must always give up to [him]_76-edward , to imagine that [he]_76-edward was even acting deceitfully or unmanfully in permitting [her]_113-ellen to conceal [his]_76-edward acts of disobedience . There was so much to love and admire in [Edward]_76-edward , that neither [Mr.]_4303-mr. nor [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} imagined the real weakness of [his]_76-edward character — that those lovable qualities all sprung from natural impulse , unsustained by any thing like principle . The quickness and apparent fervor with which [he]_76-edward received the religious impressions [they]_4304-they and [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} sought so earnestly to instill in the short time that was allowed [them]_4304-they before [he]_76-edward entered [the navy]_{4305-the navy} , [they]_4304-they augured so hopefully from , that not only [[his]_76-edward preceptor]_{4306-his preceptor} and uncle , but [[his]_76-edward ever anxious aunt]_{4307-his ever anxious aunt} , looked forward to [his]_76-edward career with scarcely a doubt as to its probity and honor . [Ellen]_113-ellen caused [her]_113-ellen infinitely more anxiety . There was a disregard to truth , a want of openness and candor , which , though [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} believed the effects of neglect and extreme timidity , both [[her]_113-ellen husband]_{340-her husband} and [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} feared were natural . Much , indeed , sprung from [the poor child]_{399-the poor child} 's mistaken idea of the nature and solemnity of the promise [she]_{399-the poor child} had made [[her]_{399-the poor child} mother]_{345-her mother} , and [her]_113-ellen constant watchfulness and determination to shield [Edward]_76-edward . For the disregard to truth , [[her]_{399-the poor child} mother]_{345-her mother} had , indeed , alone been answerable . [Ellen]_113-ellen 's naturally very timid character required the inculcation of a high , firm principle , to enable [her]_113-ellen so to conquer [herself]_113-ellen as to speak the truth , even if [she]_113-ellen suffered from it . It was only , indeed , in extreme cases of fear — and never to [[her]_113-ellen father]_{435-her father} that [she]_113-ellen had ever spoken falsely ; but to [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's high principles , which by extreme diligence and care [she]_113-ellen had so successfully imparted to [[her]_113-ellen own children]_{455-her own children} , even concealment was often an acted untruth , and of this fault and equivocation [Ellen]_113-ellen was but too often guilty ; exciting [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} 's and [Caroline]_120-caroline 's prejudices yet more against [her]_113-ellen . The latter , with all [her]_113-ellen faults , never swerved from the rigid truth , and had a strong contempt and dislike toward [all those who did]_{4314-all those who did} — except [[her]_113-ellen friend]_{535-her friend} [Annie]_152-annie , who , as [she]_152-annie always took care to speak the truth to [her]_152-annie , [she]_152-annie did not suspect of being less careful than [herself]_152-annie . [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , who had had some difficulty in restraining [her]_78-emmeline love of exaggeration , and also in so conquering [her]_78-emmeline own timidity and fear as always to speak the truth , only pitied [Ellen]_113-ellen , but did not love [her]_113-ellen the less . Of course , it was not till some months had passed that these lights and shadows of character in [the orphans]_{4316-the orphans} , and in the opinions they culled forth in those around [them]_{4316-the orphans} , could be discovered ; but notwithstanding [she]_113-ellen stood almost alone in [her]_113-ellen opinion , notwithstanding there was very little outward evidence that [she]_113-ellen was correct , [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} believed there was a great deal more in [[her]_113-ellen niece]_{372-her niece} than was discernible . [She]_113-ellen seemed to possess a strength , almost an intensity , of feeling and warmth of affection , which , if properly guided , would effectually aid in removing the childish errors engendered by neglect ; and it was this belief which not only enabled [her]_113-ellen to bear calmly the anxiety and care , and often pain , which those faults and [their]_{4316-the orphans} compelled correction occasioned , but actually to love [[her]_113-ellen niece]_{372-her niece} , if possible , still more than [Edward]_76-edward , and very nearly with the same amount of quiet but intense affection which [she]_113-ellen felt for [[her]_113-ellen own children]_{455-her own children} . One very fine morning in May , [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} invited [Edward]_76-edward to join [her]_113-ellen in a walk , intending also to call at [Moorlands]_28-moorlands and [Greville Manor]_{30-greville manor} on [their]_4320-their way . [The lads]_{4126-the lads} were released for a few days from [their]_{4126-the lads} attendance on [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} , [that gentleman]_{4322-that gentleman} having been summoned on some clerical business to [Exeter]_25-exeter . [Percy]_150-percy was to accompany [[his]_150-percy father]_{406-his father} on an equestrian excursion ; [Herbert]_102-herbert had been commissioned by [Emmeline]_78-emmeline some days before to take some books to [Mary Greville]_143-mary , and had looked forward [himself]_102-herbert to spending a morning with [her]_143-mary . [Edward]_76-edward , delighted at being selected as [[[his]_76-edward aunt]_{365-his aunt} 's companion]_{4325-his aunt 's companion} , prepared with haste and glee for [his]_76-edward excursion . [Robert]_102-herbert was , however , unfortunately not at hand to give [him]_76-edward a clean pair of shoes ( [he]_102-herbert had already spoiled two pair that morning by going into [the stream]_{3418-the stream} which ran through [the park]_{4069-the park} to sail [a newly - rigged frigate]_{4328-a newly - rigged frigate} ) , and angry at the delay , fearing that [[his]_102-herbert aunt]_{365-his aunt} would not wait for [him]_102-herbert , [he]_102-herbert worked [himself]_102-herbert into such a violent passion , that when [Robert]_102-herbert did appear [he]_102-herbert gave vent to more abusive language than [he]_102-herbert had ever yet ventured to use , concluding by hurling both [his]_102-herbert discarded shoes at [the domestic]_{4330-the domestic} , who only escaped a severe blow by starting aside , and permitting them to go through the window . "_{[102-herbert]} [Robert]_102-herbert , leave [the room]_{356-the room} : [I]_0-i desire that [you]_102-herbert will not again give [your]_102-herbert assistance to [Master Fortescue]_{156-master fortescue} till [he]_{156-master fortescue} knows how to ask it , " was [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's most unexpected interference , and [Edward]_76-edward so started at [her]_0-i voice and look , that [his]_76-edward passion was suddenly calmed . "_{[156-master fortescue]} Finish [your]_102-herbert toilet , and when [you]_102-herbert have found [your]_102-herbert shoes and put them away , [you]_102-herbert may join [me]_0-i in [the breakfast - room]_{1147-the breakfast - room} , [Edward]_76-edward . [I]_0-i only wait [your]_102-herbert pleasure . " And never did [Edward]_76-edward leave [her]_0-i presence more gladly . Shame had suddenly conquered anger ; and though [his]_76-edward chest still heaved and [his]_76-edward cheeks were still flushed , [he]_76-edward did not utter another word till nearly a quarter of a mile on [their]_4331-their walk . Twice [he]_76-edward had looked up in [[his]_76-edward aunt]_{365-his aunt} 's face as if about to speak , but the expression was so very grave , that [he]_76-edward felt strangely afraid to proceed . At length [he]_76-edward exclaimed — "_[0-i] [You]_0-i are displeased with [me]_0-i , [dear aunt]_{3449-dear aunt} ; but indeed [I]_0-i could not help feeling angry . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i am still more sorry than displeased , [Edward]_76-edward ; [I]_0-i had hoped [you]_76-edward were learning more control , and to know [your]_76-edward duty to [a domestic better]_{1149-a domestic better} . [[Your]_76-edward uncle]_{3427-your uncle} — " "_{[3427-your uncle]} Oh , pray do not tell [him]_{3427-your uncle} ! " implored [Edward]_76-edward , "_{[3427-your uncle]} and [I]_0-i will ask [Robert]_102-herbert 's pardon the moment [I]_0-i go [home]_563-home . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i certainly shall not complain of [you]_76-edward to [him]_{3427-your uncle} , [Edward]_76-edward , if [my]_0-i arguments can convince [you]_76-edward of [your]_76-edward error ; but if [you]_76-edward are only to ask [Robert]_102-herbert 's pardon for fear of [[your]_76-edward uncle]_{3427-your uncle} , [I]_0-i would rather [you]_76-edward should not do so . Tell [me]_0-i the truth ; if [you]_76-edward were quite sure [[your]_76-edward uncle]_{3427-your uncle} would know nothing about it , would [you]_76-edward still ask [Robert]_102-herbert 's pardon ? " [Edward]_76-edward unhesitatingly answered "_[76-edward] No ! " "_[76-edward] And why not ? " "_[76-edward] Because [I]_0-i think [he]_{3427-your uncle} ought to ask [mine]_0-i for keeping [me]_0-i waiting as [he]_{3427-your uncle} did , and for being insolent first to [me]_0-i . " "_{[3427-your uncle]} [He]_{3427-your uncle} did not keep [you]_76-edward waiting above five minutes , and that was [my]_0-i fault not [his]_{3427-your uncle} , as [I]_0-i was employing [him]_{3427-your uncle} ; and as for insolence , can [you]_76-edward tell [me]_0-i what [he]_{3427-your uncle} said ? " [Edward]_76-edward hesitated . "_{[3427-your uncle]} [I]_0-i do not remember the exact words , but [I]_0-i know [he]_{3427-your uncle} called [me]_0-i impatient , and if [I]_0-i were , [he]_{3427-your uncle} had no right to tell [me]_0-i so . " "_{[3427-your uncle]} Nor did [he]_{3427-your uncle} . [I]_0-i heard all that passed , and [I]_0-i could not help thinking how very far superior was [Robert]_102-herbert , [a poor country youth]_{1154-a poor country youth} , to [the young gentleman who abused [him]_102-herbert]_{1155-the young gentleman who abused him} . " The color rose to [Edward]_76-edward 's temples , but [he]_76-edward set [his]_76-edward teeth and clenched [his]_76-edward hand , to prevent any farther display of anger ; and [[his]_76-edward aunt]_{365-his aunt} , after attentively observing [him]_76-edward , continued — "_{[3427-your uncle]} [He]_{3427-your uncle} said that [[his]_{3427-your uncle} young master]_{1156-his young master} [Percy]_150-percy never required impossibilities , and though often impatient never abused [him]_{3427-your uncle} . [You]_0-i heard the word , and feeling [you]_0-i had been so , believed [he]_{3427-your uncle} applied it to [yourself]_0-i . " "_{[3427-your uncle]} But in what can [he]_{3427-your uncle} be [[my]_0-i superior]_{1157-my superior} ? " asked [Edward]_76-edward , in a low voice , as if still afraid [his]_76-edward passion would regain ascendency . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i will answer [your]_0-i question by another , [Edward]_76-edward . Suppose [any one]_{393-any one} had used abusive terms toward [you]_76-edward , and contemptuously desired [you]_76-edward to get out of [their]_{393-any one} sight , how would [you]_76-edward have answered ? " "_[76-edward] [I]_0-i would have struck [him]_{3427-your uncle} to [the earth]_{1159-the earth} , " replied [Edward]_76-edward , passionately , and quite forgetting [his]_76-edward wished for control . "_[0-i] [Neither equal]_{1160-neither equal} nor [superior]_{1161-superior} should dare speak so to [me]_0-i again . " "_{[1160-neither equal]} And what prevented [Robert]_102-herbert acting in the same manner ? Do [you]_0-i think [he]_102-herbert has no feeling?—that [he]_102-herbert is incapable of such emotions as pain or anger ? " [Edward]_76-edward stood for a minute quite still and silent . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i did not think any thing about it , " [he]_76-edward said , at length ; "_[0-i] but [I]_0-i certainly supposed [I]_0-i had a right to say what [I]_0-i pleased to one so far beneath [me]_0-i . " "_[0-i] And in what is [Robert]_102-herbert so far beneath [you]_0-i ? " "_{[102-herbert]} [He]_102-herbert is [a servant]_{1162-a servant} , and [I]_0-i am [a gentleman]_{254-a gentleman} in birth , rank — " "_[0-i] Stop , [Edward]_76-edward ! did [you]_0-i make [yourself]_0-i [a gentleman]_{254-a gentleman} ? Is it any credit to [you]_0-i , individually , to be higher in [the world]_{592-the world} , and receive a better education than [Robert]_102-herbert ? " [Edward]_76-edward was again silent , and [[his]_76-edward aunt]_{365-his aunt} continued to talk to [him]_76-edward so kindly yet so earnestly , that at length [he]_76-edward exclaimed — "_[0-i] [I]_0-i feel [I]_0-i have indeed been wrong , [dear aunt]_{3449-dear aunt} ; but what can [I]_0-i do to prove to [Robert]_102-herbert [I]_0-i am really sorry for having treated [him]_102-herbert so ill ? " "_[76-edward] Are [you]_76-edward really sorry , [Edward]_76-edward , or do [you]_76-edward only say this for fear of [[your]_76-edward uncle]_{3427-your uncle} 's displeasure ? " "_[76-edward] Indeed , [I]_0-i had quite forgotten [him]_102-herbert , " replied [Edward]_76-edward , earnestly ; "_[0-i] [I]_0-i deserve [his]_102-herbert anger , and would willingly expose [myself]_0-i to it , if it would redeem [my]_0-i fault . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i would rather see [you]_76-edward endeavor earnestly to restrain [your]_76-edward passions [[my]_0-i dear boy]_{1168-my dear boy} , than inflict any such pain upon [you]_76-edward . It will be a great pleasure to [me]_0-i if [you]_76-edward can really so conquer [yourself]_76-edward as to apologize to [Robert]_102-herbert ; and [I]_0-i think the pain of so doing will enable [you]_76-edward more easily to remember all [we]_1169-we have been saying , than if [you]_76-edward weakly shrink from it . The life [you]_76-edward have chosen makes [me]_0-i even more anxious that [you]_76-edward should become less passionate — than were [you]_76-edward to remain longer with [me]_0-i ; [I]_0-i fear [you]_76-edward will so often suffer seriously from it . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i very often make [resolutions]_{1170-resolutions} never to be in a passion again , " returned [Edward]_76-edward , sorrowfully ; "_[0-i] but whenever any thing provokes [me]_0-i , something seems to come in [my]_0-i throat , and [I]_0-i am compelled to give way . " "_[76-edward] [You]_76-edward will not be able to conquer [your]_76-edward fault , [[my]_0-i dear]_{3485-my dear} [Edward]_76-edward , without great perseverance ; but remember , the more difficult the task , the greater the reward ; and that [you]_76-edward can control anger [I]_0-i have , even during [our]_1172-our walk , had a proof . " [Edward]_76-edward looked up surprised . "_[0-i] Did [you]_76-edward not feel very angry when [I]_0-i said [Robert]_102-herbert was [[your]_76-edward superior]_{1173-your superior} ? " "_[0-i] Yes , " replied [Edward]_76-edward , blushing deeply . "_[0-i] And yet [you]_76-edward successfully checked [your]_76-edward rising passion , for fear of offending [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i can not be always near [you]_76-edward ; but , [[my]_0-i dear boy]_{1168-my dear boy} , [you]_76-edward must endeavor to remember that lesson [I]_0-i have tried to teach [you]_76-edward so often — that [you]_76-edward are never alone . [You]_76-edward can not even think an angry thought , much less speak an abusive word and commit the most trifling act of passion , without offending [God]_85-god . If [you]_76-edward would but ask for [His]_102-herbert help , and recollect that to offend [Him]_102-herbert is far more terrible than to incur the displeasure of either [[your]_76-edward uncle]_{3427-your uncle} or [myself]_0-i , [I]_0-i think [you]_76-edward would find [your]_76-edward task much easier , than if [you]_76-edward attempted it , trusting in [your]_76-edward own strength alone , and only for fear of [man]_1176-man . " [Edward]_76-edward did not make any reply , but [his]_76-edward countenance expressed such earnest thought and softened feeling , that [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} determined on not interrupting it by calling at [Moorlands]_{4335-moorlands} as [she]_0-i had intended , and so turned in the direction of [Greville Manor]_{30-greville manor} . [They]_4336-they walked on for some little time in silence , gradually ascending [one of those steep and narrow but green and flowery lanes peculiar to [Devonshire]_{11-devonshire}]_{4337-one of those steep and narrow but green and flowery lanes peculiar to devonshire} ; and on reaching [the summit of [the hill]_{4339-the hill}]_{4338-the summit of the hill} , and pausing a moment by the little gate that opened on [a rich meadow]_{4340-a rich meadow} , through which [their]_4336-they path lay , an exclamation of "_[1176-man] How beautiful ! " burst from [Edward]_76-edward . [Fields of alternate red and green]_{4341-fields of alternate red and green} sloped down to [the river]_{4342-the river} 's edge , the green bearing the glistening color peculiar to [May]_157-may , the red from the full rich soil betraying that the plow had but lately been there , and both contrasting beautifully with [the limpid waters]_{4343-the limpid waters} , whose deep azure seemed to mock the very heavens . [The Dart]_{14-the dart} from that point seemed no longer [a meandering river]_{4344-a meandering river} : [it]_{14-the dart} was so encompassed by [thick woods]_{4345-thick woods} and [fertile hills]_{4346-fertile hills} that [it]_{14-the dart} resembled [a lake]_{4347-a lake} , to which there was neither outlet nor inlet , save from [the land]_{4348-the land} . The trees all presented that exquisite variety of green peculiar to [May]_157-may , and so lofty was the slope on which [they]_4336-they grew , that some seemed to touch the very sky , while others bent gracefully over the water , which [their]_4336-they thick branches nearly touched . [The hills]_{4349-the hills} themselves presented a complete mosaic of red and green ; [the fields]_{4350-the fields} divided by high hedges , from which the oak and elm and beech and ash would start up , of growth so superb as to have the semblance of [a cultivated park]_{4351-a cultivated park} , not of [natural woodland]_{4352-natural woodland} . [Greville Manor]_{30-greville manor} , [an Elizabethan building]_{4353-an elizabethan building} , stood on [their]_4354-their right , surrounded by [its]_{30-greville manor} ancient woods , which , though lovely still , [Mr. Greville]_{146-mr. greville} 's excesses had already shorn off some of [their]_4354-their finest timber . [Some parts of [the river]_{4342-the river}]_{4355-some parts of the river} were in complete shade from the overhanging branches , while beyond [them]_{4355-some parts of the river} would stretch the bright blue of heaven : in other parts , a stray sunbeam would dart through an opening in the thick branches , and shine like a bright spot in the surrounding darkness ; and farther on , the cloudless sun so flung down [his]_{146-mr. greville} full refulgence , that the moving waters flashed and sparkled like burning gems . "_[1176-man] Is it not beautiful , [dear aunt]_{3449-dear aunt} ? Sometimes [I]_0-i feel as if [I]_0-i were not half so passionate in the open air as in [the house]_{3775-the house} ; can [you]_{3449-dear aunt} tell [me]_0-i why ? " "_{[3449-dear aunt]} Not exactly , [Edward]_76-edward , " [she]_0-i replied , smiling ; "_{[3449-dear aunt]} but [I]_0-i am very pleased to hear [you]_76-edward say so , and to find that [you]_76-edward can admire such a lovely scene as this . To [my]_0-i feelings , the presence of [a loving God]_{1179-a loving god} is so impressed upon [his]_{1179-a loving god} works — [we]_1180-we can so distinctly trace goodness , and love , and power , in the gift of such [a bountiful world]_{1181-a bountiful world} , that [I]_0-i feel still more how wrong it is to indulge in vexation , or care , or anxiety , when in the midst of [a beautiful country]_{1182-a beautiful country} , than when at [home]_563-home ; and perhaps it is something of the same feeling working in [you]_76-edward , though [you]_76-edward do not know how to define it . " "_{[3449-dear aunt]} But [you]_{3449-dear aunt} can never do or feel any thing wrong , [dear aunt]_{3449-dear aunt} , " said [Edward]_76-edward , looking with surprised inquiry in [her]_{3449-dear aunt} face . "_{[3449-dear aunt]} Indeed , [[my]_0-i dear boy]_{1168-my dear boy} , [I]_0-i know that [I]_0-i very often have wrong thoughts and feelings ; and that only [[my]_0-i Father]_{3451-my father} in [Heaven]_8-heaven 's infinite mercy enables [me]_0-i to overcome them . It would be very sad , if [I]_0-i were as faulty , and as easily led into error , as [you]_76-edward and [[your]_76-edward cousins]_{978-your cousins} may be , when [I]_0-i have had so many more years to think and try to improve in ; but just in the same way as [you]_76-edward have duties to perform and feelings to overcome , so have [I]_0-i ; and if [I]_0-i fail in the endeavor to lead [you]_76-edward all in the better and happier path — or feel too much anxiety , or shrink from giving [myself]_0-i pain , when compelled to correct a fault in either of [you]_76-edward , [I]_0-i am just as likely to incur the displeasure of [[our]_1188-we Father]_{1098-our father} in [Heaven]_4122-heaven , as [you]_76-edward are when [you]_76-edward are passionate or angry ; and perhaps still more so , for the more capable [we]_1188-we are of knowing and doing [our]_1188-we duty , the more wrong [we]_1188-we are when [we]_1188-we fail in it , even in thought . " There was so much in this reply to surprise [Edward]_76-edward , it seemed so to fill [his]_76-edward mind with new ideas , that [he]_76-edward continued [his]_76-edward walk in absolute silence . That [[his]_76-edward aunt]_{365-his aunt} could ever fail , as [she]_{365-his aunt} seemed to say [she]_{365-his aunt} had and did , and even still at times found it difficult to do right , was very strange ; but yet somehow it seemed to comfort [him]_76-edward , and to inspire [him]_76-edward with a sort of courage to emulate [her]_{365-his aunt} , and conquer [his]_76-edward difficulties . [He]_76-edward had fancied that [she]_{365-his aunt} could not possibly understand how difficult it was for [him]_76-edward always to be good ; but when [he]_76-edward found that [she]_{365-his aunt} could do so even from [her]_{365-his aunt} own experience , [her]_{365-his aunt} words appeared endowed with double force , and [he]_76-edward loved [her]_{365-his aunt} , and looked up to [her]_{365-his aunt} more than ever . Ten minutes more brought [them]_1191-them to [the Gothic lodge of [the Manor]_{4359-the manor}]_{4358-the gothic lodge of the manor} , and instead of seeking the front entrance , [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} led the way to the flower - garden , on which [[Mrs. Greville]_{140-mrs. greville} 's usual morning - room]_{4360-mrs. greville 's usual morning - room} opened by a glass door . "_{[102-herbert]} [Herbert]_102-herbert was to tell [Mary]_143-mary of [our]_1191-them intended visit ; [I]_0-i wonder [she]_143-mary is not watching for [me]_0-i as usual , " observed [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , somewhat anxiously ; and [her]_0-i anxiety increased , as on nearing the half open door [she]_0-i saw poor [Mary]_143-mary , [her]_143-mary head leaning against [Herbert]_102-herbert , deluged in tears . [Mrs. Greville]_{140-mrs. greville} was not there , though the books , work , and maps upon the table told of [their]_1191-them morning 's employment having been the same as usual . [Herbert]_102-herbert was earnestly endeavoring to speak comfort , but evidently without success ; and [Mary]_143-mary was in general so controlled , that [her]_143-mary present grief betrayed some very much heavier trial than usual . "_[143-mary] Is [[your]_143-mary mother]_{3462-your mother} ill , [[my]_0-i dear]_{3485-my dear} [Mary]_143-mary ? What can have happened to agitate [you]_143-mary so painfully ? " [she]_0-i inquired , as at the first sound of [her]_0-i voice [the poor girl]_{4361-the poor girl} sprung toward [her]_0-i , and tried to say how very glad [she]_{4361-the poor girl} was that [she]_{4361-the poor girl} had come just then ; but the words were inarticulate from sobs ; and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , desiring [Edward]_76-edward to amuse [himself]_76-edward in [the garden]_{3457-the garden} , made [her]_{4361-the poor girl} sit down by [her]_{4361-the poor girl} , and told [her]_{4361-the poor girl} not to attempt to check [her]_{4361-the poor girl} tears , but to let [them]_4363-them have free vent a few minutes , and then to try and tell [her]_{4361-the poor girl} what had occurred . It was a very sad tale for [a child]_{265-a child} to tell , and as [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's previous knowledge enabled [her]_{4361-the poor girl} to gather more from it than [Mary]_143-mary 's broken narrative permitted , [we]_4365-we will give it in [our]_4365-we own words . [Mr. Greville]_{146-mr. greville} had been at [home]_563-home for a month , a quarter of which time the good humor which [some unusually successful bets]_{4367-some unusually successful bets} had excited , lasted ; but no longer . [His]_{146-mr. greville} amusement then consisted , as usual , in trying every method to annoy and irritate [[his]_{146-mr. greville} wife]_{521-his wife} , and in endeavoring to make [[his]_{146-mr. greville} son]_{514-his son} exactly like [himself]_{146-mr. greville} . Young as [the boy]_{290-the boy} was — scarcely twelve — [he]_{146-mr. greville} took [him]_{290-the boy} to scenes of riot and feasting , which [the society of [some boon companions]_{4372-some boon companions} , unhappily near [neighbors]_{4373-neighbors}]_{4371-the society of some boon companions , unhappily near neighbors} , permitted ; and though [Alfred]_142-alfred 's cheek became pale , [his]_142-alfred eye haggard , and [his]_142-alfred temper uneven , [his]_142-alfred initiation was fraught with such a new species of excitement and pleasure , that it rejoiced and encouraged [[his]_142-alfred father]_{406-his father} in the same measure as it agonized [[his]_142-alfred mother]_{330-his mother} , and , for [her]_{330-his mother} sake , poor [Mary]_143-mary . That morning [Alfred]_142-alfred had declared [his]_142-alfred intention of visiting a large fair , which , with some races of but ill repute , from the bad company [they]_4376-they collected , was to be held at [a neighboring town]_{4377-a neighboring town} , and told [[his]_142-alfred father]_{406-his father} to prepare for a large demand on [his]_142-alfred cash , as [he]_142-alfred meant to try [his]_142-alfred hand at all the varieties of gaming which the scene presented . [Mr. Greville]_{146-mr. greville} laughed heartily at what [he]_{146-mr. greville} called [the boy]_{290-the boy} 's right spirit , and promised [him]_{290-the boy} all [he]_{146-mr. greville} required ; but there was a quivering on [[her]_{290-the boy} mother]_{345-her mother} 's lip , a deadly paleness on [her]_{330-his mother} cheek , that spoke volumes of suffering to the heart of [the observant Mary , who sat trembling beside [her]_{330-his mother}]_{4381-the observant mary , who sat trembling beside her} . Still [Mrs. Greville]_{140-mrs. greville} did not speak till [[her]_{140-mrs. greville} husband]_{340-her husband} left [the room]_{356-the room} ; but then , as [Alfred]_142-alfred was about to follow [him]_{340-her husband} , [she]_{140-mrs. greville} caught hold of [his]_142-alfred hand , and implored [him]_142-alfred , with such a tone and look of agony , only to listen to [her]_{140-mrs. greville} , for [her]_{140-mrs. greville} sake to give up [his]_142-alfred intended pleasure ; that , almost frightened by an emotion which in [[his]_142-alfred gentle mother]_{4384-his gentle mother} [he]_142-alfred had scarcely ever seen , and suddenly remembering that [he]_142-alfred had lately been indeed most unkind and neglectful to [her]_{140-mrs. greville} , [he]_142-alfred threw [his]_142-alfred arms round [her]_{140-mrs. greville} neck , and promised with tears that if it gave [her]_{140-mrs. greville} so much pain , [he]_142-alfred would not go ; and so sincere was [his]_142-alfred feeling at the moment that , had there been [no tempter]_{4385-no tempter} near , [he]_142-alfred would , in all probability , have kept [his]_142-alfred word . But the moment [Mr. Greville]_{146-mr. greville} heard from [[his]_{146-mr. greville} son]_{514-his son} [his]_142-alfred change of intention and its cause , [he]_142-alfred so laughed at [his]_142-alfred ridiculous folly , so sneered at [his]_142-alfred want of spirit in preferring [[his]_142-alfred mother]_{330-his mother} 's whims to [[his]_142-alfred father]_{406-his father} 's pleasures , that , as could not fail to be the case , every better feeling fled . This ought to have been enough ; but it was too good an opportunity to vent [his]_142-alfred ill - temper on [[his]_142-alfred wife]_{521-his wife} , to be neglected . [He]_142-alfred sought [her]_{521-his wife} , where [she]_{521-his wife} was superintending [Mary]_143-mary 's lessons , and for nearly an hour poured upon [her]_{521-his wife} the most fearful abuse and cutting taunts , ending by declaring that all the good [she]_{521-his wife} had done by [her]_{521-his wife} saintly eloquence was to banish [[her]_{521-his wife} son]_{326-her son} from [her]_{521-his wife} presence , whenever [he]_{326-her son} left [home]_563-home , as in future [Alfred]_142-alfred should be [[his]_142-alfred companion]_{4392-his companion} ; and that [he]_{326-her son} should begin that very day . [Mrs. Greville]_{140-mrs. greville} neither moved nor spoke in reply ; and the expression of [her]_{521-his wife} countenance was so sternly calm , that poor [Mary]_143-mary felt as if [she]_143-mary dared not give way to the emotion with which [her]_143-mary heart was bursting . [Mr. Greville]_{146-mr. greville} left [the room]_{356-the room} , and [they]_4394-they heard [him]_{146-mr. greville} peremptorily desire [the housekeeper]_{4395-the housekeeper} to put up some of [Master Alfred]_158-alfred 's clothes . In a perfectly composed voice [Mrs. Greville]_{140-mrs. greville} desired [Mary]_143-mary to proceed with the exercise [she]_143-mary was writing , and emulating [her]_143-mary firmness , [she]_143-mary tried to obey . Fortunately [her]_143-mary task was writing , for to have spoken or read aloud would , [she]_143-mary felt , have been impossible . So full half an hour passed , and then hasty footsteps were heard in [the hall]_{836-the hall} , and the joyous voice of [Alfred]_158-alfred exclaiming — "_[143-mary] Let [me]_0-i wish [mamma]_3420-mamma and [Mary]_143-mary good - by , [papa]_3546-papa . " "_[3546-papa] [I]_0-i have not another moment to spare , " was the reply . "_[3546-papa] [You]_3546-papa have kept [me]_0-i long enough , and must be quicker next time ; come along , [[my]_0-i boy]_{868-my boy} . " The rapid tread of horses ' hoofs speedily followed the sullen clang with which the hall - door closed , and as rapidly faded away in the distance . With an irresistible impulse , [Mary]_143-mary raised [her]_143-mary eyes to [[her]_143-mary mother]_{345-her mother} 's face ; a bright red flush had risen to [her]_143-mary temples , but [her]_143-mary lips were perfectly colorless , and [her]_143-mary hand tightly pressed [her]_143-mary heart ; but this only lasted a minute , for the next [she]_143-mary had fallen quite senseless on the floor . [[Her]_0-i poor child]_{4398-her poor child} hung over [her]_0-i almost paralyzed with terror , and so long did the faint last , that [she]_143-mary was conveyed to [[her]_143-mary own room]_{4399-her own room} , partially undressed , and laid on [her]_143-mary bed before [she]_143-mary at all recovered . A brief while [she]_0-i had clasped [Mary]_143-mary to [her]_0-i bosom , as if in [her]_0-i was indeed [her]_0-i only earthly comfort , and then in a faint voice desired to be left quite alone . [Mary]_143-mary had flung [herself]_143-mary on the neck of [the sympathizing [Herbert Hamilton]_102-herbert ( who had arrived just in the confusion attendant on [Mrs. Greville]_{140-mrs. greville} 's unusual illness]_{4400-the sympathizing herbert hamilton ( who had arrived just in the confusion attendant on mrs. greville 's unusual illness} ) , and wept there in all the uncontrolled violence of early sorrow . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} remained some time with [[her]_0-i afflicted friend]_{4401-her afflicted friend} , for so truly could [she]_0-i sympathize with [her]_{4401-her afflicted friend} , that [[her]_0-i society]_{1020-her society} brought with it the only solace [Mrs. Greville]_{140-mrs. greville} was capable of realizing from human companionship . "_[0-i] It is not for [myself]_0-i [I]_0-i murmur , " were the only words that in that painful interview might have even seemed like complaint ; "_[0-i] but for [[my]_0-i poor child]_{866-my poor child} . How is [her]_{866-my poor child} fragile frame and gentle spirit to endure through trials such as these ; oh , [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , to lose both , and through [[their]_{866-my poor child} father]_{965-their father} ! " And difficult indeed did it seem to realize the cause of such a terrible dispensation ; but happily for [Mrs. Greville]_{140-mrs. greville} , [she]_{140-mrs. greville} could still look up in love and trust , even when below all of comfort as of joy seemed departed ; and in a few days [she]_{140-mrs. greville} was enabled to resume [her]_{140-mrs. greville} usual avocations , and , by an assumption of cheerfulness and constant employment , to restore some degree of peace and happiness to [[her]_{140-mrs. greville} child]_{350-her child} . Neither [Herbert]_102-herbert nor [Edward]_76-edward seemed inclined to converse on [their]_{866-my poor child} walk [home]_563-home , and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} was so engrossed in thought for [Mrs. Greville]_{140-mrs. greville} , that [she]_{140-mrs. greville} did not feel disposed to speak either . [Herbert]_102-herbert was contrasting [[his]_102-herbert father]_{406-his father} with [Mary]_143-mary 's , and with such a vivid sense of [his]_102-herbert own happier lot , that [he]_102-herbert felt almost oppressed with the thought , [he]_102-herbert was not , [he]_102-herbert never could be , grateful enough ; for , what had [he]_102-herbert done to be so much more blessed ? And when [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , who , wondering at [their]_{866-my poor child} long absence , had come out to meet [them]_{866-my poor child} , put [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} arm affectionately round [him]_102-herbert , and asked [him]_102-herbert what could possibly make [him]_102-herbert look so pale and pensive , [the boy]_{290-the boy} 's excited feelings completely overpowered [him]_102-herbert . [He]_102-herbert buried [his]_102-herbert face on [[his]_102-herbert father]_{406-his father} 's shoulder , and burst into tears ; and then leaving [[his]_102-herbert mother]_{330-his mother} to explain it , for [he]_102-herbert felt quite sure [she]_{330-his mother} could , without [his]_102-herbert telling [her]_{330-his mother} , darted away and never stopped till [he]_102-herbert found [himself]_102-herbert in [the sanctuary of [[his]_102-herbert own room]_{4410-his own room}]_{4409-the sanctuary of his own room} ; and there [he]_102-herbert remained , trying to calm [himself]_102-herbert by earnest thought and almost unconscious prayer , till the dinner - bell summoned [him]_102-herbert to rejoin [[his]_102-herbert family]_{4086-his family} , which [he]_102-herbert did , quiet and gentle , but cheerful , as usual . [Edward]_76-edward did not forget the thoughts of the morning , but the struggles so to subdue [his]_76-edward pride as to apologize to [Robert]_102-herbert , seemed very much more difficult when [he]_76-edward was no longer hearing [[his]_76-edward aunt]_{365-his aunt} 's earnest words ; but [he]_76-edward did conquer [himself]_76-edward , and the fond approving look , with which [he]_76-edward was rewarded , gave [him]_76-edward such a glowing feeling of pleasure , as almost to lessen the pain of [his]_76-edward humiliation . A few days after the events of the last chapter , [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , accompanied by [Percy]_150-percy , called at [Moorlands]_28-moorlands . [Cecil Grahame]_159-cecil was playing in [the garden]_{3457-the garden} , and [Percy]_150-percy remained with [him]_159-cecil , [his]_150-percy good - nature often making [him]_150-percy [a companion]_{4414-a companion} , though there was nearly six years ' difference in [their]_4415-their age . "_{[78-emmeline]} Are [you]_1199-you going to T — on Thursday , [Percy]_150-percy ? There will be such fine doings . Races and the county fair , and wild beasts and shows , and every thing delightful ; of course , [you]_1199-you will go ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i do not think it at all likely , " replied [young Hamilton]_150-percy . "_[0-i] No ! " repeated [Cecil]_159-cecil , much astonished . "_[0-i] Why , [I]_0-i was only saying the other day how much [I]_0-i should like to be as old as [you]_1199-you are ; it must be so delightful to be [[one]_1058-one 's own master]_{1201-one 's own master} . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i do not consider [myself]_0-i [[my]_0-i own master]_{1202-my own master} yet , [Cecil]_159-cecil . Sometimes [I]_0-i wish [I]_0-i were ; at others , [I]_0-i think [I]_0-i am much better as [I]_0-i am . And , as for this fair , [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} will be back to - morrow , so there is no chance of [my]_0-i going . " "_{[128-mr. howard]} Why is there no such thing as the possibility of a holiday , [Percy]_150-percy ? " replied [Cecil]_159-cecil , with great glee ; "_[150-percy] or perhaps , " [he]_150-percy added , laughing , "_[150-percy] [[your]_1199-you papa]_{1203-your papa} is like [mine]_1204-mine , and does not allow such freaks ; thinks it wrong to go to such places , acting against morality , and such out of the way ideas . " "_[150-percy] Are these [Mr. Grahame]_{148-mr. grahame} 's opinions ? " inquired [Percy]_150-percy , almost sternly . "_{[148-mr. grahame]} Why [ye]_150-percy — yes — why do [you]_150-percy look at [me]_0-i so , [Percy]_150-percy ? [I]_0-i am sure [I]_0-i said no harm ; [I]_0-i only repeated what [I]_0-i have heard [mamma]_3420-mamma say continually . " "_[3420-mamma] That is not the very least excuse for [your]_1199-you disrespect to [[your]_1199-you father]_{3470-your father} ; and if [he]_{3470-your father} think thus , [I]_0-i wonder [you]_1199-you should talk of going to the races ; [you]_1199-you can not have [his]_{3470-your father} permission . " "_[80-mamma] Oh , but [mamma]_80-mamma has promised if [I]_0-i am [a good boy]_{1207-a good boy} till then and [she]_80-mamma can manage it , [I]_0-i shall go ; for [she]_80-mamma can not see any harm in it . And as for waiting for [papa]_3546-papa 's permission — if [I]_0-i did , [I]_0-i should never go any where . [He]_3546-papa is so unkind , that [I]_0-i am always afraid of speaking or even playing , when [he]_3546-papa is in [the room]_{356-the room} . " "_[3546-papa] [You]_1199-you are [a silly boy]_{1210-a silly boy} , [Cecil]_159-cecil , " replied [young Hamilton]_150-percy ; "_[159-cecil] Believe [me]_0-i , [you]_1199-you do not know [[your]_1199-you best friend]_{1211-your best friend} . [I]_0-i should be very sorry to feel thus toward [[my]_0-i father]_{3451-my father} . " "_{[1203-your papa]} Oh ! but [yours]_1199-you and [mine]_0-i are very different sort of people . [[Your]_1199-you papa]_{1203-your papa} never punishes [you]_1199-you , or refuses [you]_1199-you [his]_{1203-your papa} permission , when [you]_1199-you wish particularly to do any thing , or go any where . " "_[3546-papa] If [papa]_3546-papa thinks [my]_0-i wishes foolish , or liable to lead [me]_0-i into error , [he]_3546-papa does refuse [me]_0-i without scruple , [Cecil]_159-cecil . And though [I]_0-i am old enough now , [I]_0-i hope , so to conduct [myself]_0-i as to avoid actual punishment : when [I]_0-i was as young as [you]_1199-you are , [papa]_3546-papa very frequently punished [me]_0-i , both for [my]_0-i violence and pride . " "_[3546-papa] But then [he]_3546-papa was kind to [you]_1199-you afterward . Now [I]_0-i should not so much mind [papa]_160-papa 's severity when [I]_0-i am naughty , if [he]_3546-papa would only be kind , or take some notice of [me]_0-i when [I]_0-i am good . But has [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} told [you]_1199-you not to go to the races ? " "_{[81-mrs. hamilton]} Not exactly : [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} has merely said [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} thinks it a day most unprofitably wasted ; and that the gambling and excesses , always the attendant of races , are not fit scenes for [young persons]_{1216-young persons} . Were [I]_0-i to take [my]_0-i horse and go , [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} would not , perhaps , be actually displeased , as [I]_0-i am old enough now , [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} says , in some things , to judge for [myself]_0-i ; but [I]_0-i should be acting against [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} principles , which , just now , [I]_0-i am not inclined to do , for [I]_0-i am sure to suffer from it afterward . " "_{[81-mrs. hamilton]} Well , all [I]_0-i can say , is , that when [I]_0-i am as old as [you]_1199-you are , [Percy]_150-percy , [I]_0-i shall certainly consider [myself]_0-i under [no one]_{3540-no one} . [I]_0-i hope [I]_0-i shall be at [Eton]_32-eton by that time , and then [we]_1218-we shall see if [Cecil Grahame]_159-cecil has not some spirit in [him]_159-cecil . [I]_0-i would not be tied down to [Oakwood]_12-oakwood , and to [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} 's humdrum lessons , as [you]_1199-you are , [Percy]_150-percy , for worlds . " "_[150-percy] Take care that [Cecil Grahame]_159-cecil 's spirit does not effervesce so much , as to make [him]_159-cecil , when at [Eton]_32-eton , wish [himself]_159-cecil back at [Moorlands]_28-moorlands , " replied [Percy]_150-percy , laughing heartily at [[his]_150-percy young companion]_{4416-his young companion} 's grotesque attempts at self - consequence , by placing [his]_150-percy cap dandily on [his]_150-percy head , flourishing [his]_150-percy cane , and trying to make [himself]_150-percy look taller . [Cecil]_159-cecil took [his]_159-cecil laugh , however , in good part , and [they]_4417-they continued in amicable conversation till [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} summoned [Percy]_150-percy to attend [[her]_{4416-his young companion} home]_{576-her home} . [[Our]_4419-our readers]_{524-our readers} have , perhaps , discovered that [Percy]_150-percy , this day was not quite as lively as usual . If [they]_4417-they have not [[his]_150-percy mother]_{330-his mother} did ; for , strange to say , [he]_150-percy walked by [her]_{330-his mother} side silent and dispirited . [His]_150-percy thoughtlessness very often led [him]_150-percy into error and its disagreeable consequences ; and , fearing this had again been the case , [she]_{330-his mother} playfully inquired the cause of [his]_150-percy most unusual abstraction . [He]_150-percy colored , but evaded the question , and successfully roused [himself]_150-percy to talk . [[His]_150-percy mother]_{330-his mother} was not anxious , for [she]_{330-his mother} had such perfect confidence in [him]_150-percy , that [she]_{330-his mother} know if [he]_150-percy had committed error , [he]_150-percy would redeem it , and that [his]_150-percy own good feelings and high principles would prevent its recurrence . It so happened , however , that [young Hamilton]_150-percy , by a series of rather imprudent actions , had plunged [himself]_150-percy into such a very unusual and disagreeable position , as not very well to know how to extricate [himself]_150-percy from it , without a full confession to [[his]_150-percy father]_{406-his father} ; which , daringly brave as in general [he]_150-percy was , [he]_150-percy felt almost as if [he]_150-percy really had not the courage to make . One of [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's most imperative commands was , that [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} sons]_{4424-his sons} should never incur a debt , and , to prevent the temptation , [their]_{4424-his sons} monthly allowance was an ample one , and fully permitted any recreative indulgences [they]_{4424-his sons} might desire . Now [Percy]_150-percy was rather inclined to extravagance , from thoughtlessness and a profuse generosity , which had often caused [him]_150-percy such annoyance as to make [him]_150-percy resolve again and again to follow [[his]_150-percy father]_{406-his father} 's advice , and keep some accounts of [his]_150-percy expenditure , as a slight check on [himself]_150-percy . The admiration for beauty in the fine arts , which [[his]_150-percy mother]_{330-his mother} had so sedulously cultivated , had had only one bad effect ; and that was that [his]_150-percy passion for prints and paintings , and illustrated and richly - bound volumes , sometimes carried [him]_150-percy beyond bounds , and very often occasioned regret , that [he]_150-percy had not examined the letter - press of such works , as well as their engravings and bindings . [He]_150-percy had given orders to [Mr. Harris]_{161-mr. harris} , [a large fancy stationer]_{4427-a large fancy stationer} , [librarian]_{4428-librarian} , and [publisher of T]_{4429-publisher of t} — , to procure for [him]_{161-mr. harris} a set of engravings , whose very interesting subjects and beautiful workmanship , [Mr. Grahame]_{148-mr. grahame} had so vividly described to [him]_{161-mr. harris} , that [young Hamilton]_150-percy felt to do without [them]_4430-them till [[his]_150-percy father]_{406-his father} or [he]_150-percy [himself]_150-percy should visit [the metropolis]_{4032-the metropolis} , and so judge of [their]_4430-them worth [themselves]_4430-them , was quite impossible . The order was given without the least regard to price . [They]_4430-them arrived at the end of the month , and [the young gentleman]_{815-the young gentleman} , to [his]_{815-the young gentleman} extreme astonishment , discovered that [his]_{815-the young gentleman} month 's allowance had been so expended , as not to leave [him]_{815-the young gentleman} a half - quarter of the necessary sum . What to do [he]_{815-the young gentleman} did not very well know . [Mr. Harris]_{161-mr. harris} had had great difficulty in procuring the prints , and of course [he]_{161-mr. harris} was bound in honor to take them . If [he]_{161-mr. harris} waited till [he]_{161-mr. harris} could pay for them , [he]_{161-mr. harris} must sacrifice the whole of one month 's allowance , and then how could [he]_{161-mr. harris} keep free from debt till the next ? As for applying to [[his]_150-percy father]_{406-his father} , [he]_150-percy shrank from it with actual pain . How could [he]_150-percy ask [[his]_150-percy ever kind and indulgent parent]_{4435-his ever kind and indulgent parent} to discharge a debt incurred by such a thoughtless act of unnecessary extravagance ? [Mr. Harris]_{161-mr. harris} made very light of it , declaring that , if [Mr. Percy]_99-percy did not pay [him]_150-percy for a twelvemonth , it was of no consequence ; [he]_{161-mr. harris} would trust [him]_150-percy for any sum or any time [he]_{161-mr. harris} liked . But to make no attempt to liquidate [his]_150-percy debt was as impossible as to speak to [[his]_150-percy father]_{406-his father} . No , after a violent struggle with [his]_150-percy pride , which did not at all like the idea of betraying [his]_150-percy inability to pay the whole , or of asking a favor of [Mr. Harris]_{161-mr. harris} , [he]_150-percy agreed to pay [his]_150-percy debt by installments , and so in two or three months , at the very latest , discharge the whole . One week afterward [he]_150-percy received [his]_150-percy month 's allowance , and riding over directly to [the town]_{4437-the town} relieved [his]_150-percy conscience of half its load . To have only half [his]_150-percy usual sum , however , for monthly expenditure caused [him]_150-percy so many checks and annoyances as to make [him]_150-percy hate the very sight of the prints whose possession [he]_150-percy had so coveted , but [he]_150-percy looked forward to the next month to be free at least of [Mr. Harris]_{161-mr. harris} . The idea of disobedience to [[his]_150-percy father]_{406-his father} in incurring a debt at all , causing [him]_150-percy more annoyance than all the rest . Again the first day of the month came round , and putting the full sum required in [his]_150-percy purse , [he]_150-percy set off , but on [his]_150-percy way encountered such a scene of distress , that every thought fled from [his]_150-percy mind , except how to relieve it . [He]_150-percy accompanied [the miserable half - famished man]_{4439-the miserable half - famished man} to a hut in which lay [a seemingly dying woman with [a new - born babe]_{4441-a new - born babe}]_{4440-a seemingly dying woman with a new - born babe} , and [two or three small half - starved , half - naked children]_{4442-two or three small half - starved , half - naked children} — listened to [their]_{4442-two or three small half - starved , half - naked children} story , which was really one of truth and misfortune , not of whining deceit , poured the whole contents of [his]_150-percy purse into [their]_{4442-two or three small half - starved , half - naked children} laps , and rode off to [T]_33-t — , to find not [Mr. Harris]_{161-mr. harris} but [Mr. Maitland]_{154-mr. maitland} , and implore [him]_150-percy to see what [his]_150-percy skill would do for [the poor woman]_{4443-the poor woman} . [He]_150-percy encountered [that gentleman at [the outskirts of [the town]_{4437-the town}]_{4445-the outskirts of the town}]_{4444-that gentleman at the outskirts of the town} , told [his]_150-percy story , and was so delighted at [Mr. Maitland]_{154-mr. maitland} 's willing promise to go directly , and also to report the case to [those who would relieve it]_{4447-those who would relieve it} , that [he]_150-percy never thought of any thing else till [he]_150-percy found [himself]_150-percy directly opposite [[Mr. Harris]_{161-mr. harris} 's shop]_{4448-mr. harris 's shop} , and [his]_150-percy bounding heart sunk suddenly down , as impelled by a weight of lead . The conviction flashed upon [him]_150-percy that [he]_150-percy had been giving away money which was actually not [his]_150-percy own ; and the deed which had been productive of so much internal happiness , now seemed to reproach and condemn [him]_150-percy . [He]_150-percy rode back without even seeking [Mr. Harris]_{161-mr. harris} , for what could [he]_150-percy tell [him]_{161-mr. harris} as the reason of [his]_150-percy non - payment ? Certainly not [his]_150-percy having given it away . The first of May , which was [his]_150-percy birthday , [he]_150-percy had been long engaged to spend with [some young men]_{4449-some young men} and [lads who were to have a grand game of cricket , a jovial dinner , an adjournment to some evening amusement]_{4450-lads who were to have a grand game of cricket , a jovial dinner , an adjournment to some evening amusement} , and , to conclude the day , a gay supper , with glees and songs . [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had rather wished [Percy]_99-percy to leave the party after dinner , and had told [him]_99-percy so , merely , however , as a preference , not a command , but giving [him]_99-percy permission to use [his]_99-percy own discretion . [Percy]_99-percy knew there would be several expenses attendant on the day , but still [he]_99-percy had promised so long to be one of the party , which all had declared would be nothing without [him]_99-percy , and [his]_99-percy own inclinations so urged [him]_99-percy to join [it]_4451-it , that it seemed to [him]_99-percy utterly impossible to draw back , especially as [he]_99-percy could give no excuse for doing so . How could [he]_99-percy say that [he]_99-percy could not afford it ? when [he]_99-percy was , or ought to have been , nearly [the richest of the party]_{4452-the richest of the party} ; and what would [[his]_150-percy father]_{406-his father} think ? [He]_150-percy went . The day was thoroughly delightful , and so exciting , that though [he]_99-percy had started from [home]_563-home with the intention of leaving [them]_4455-them after dinner , [he]_99-percy could not resist the pleadings of [[his]_99-percy companions]_{282-his companions} and [his]_99-percy own wishes , and remained . At supper alone excitement and revelry seemed to have gained the upper hand , and [Percy]_99-percy , though steady in entirely abstaining from all excess , was not quite so guarded as usual . [A clergyman]_{984-a clergyman} had lately appeared at [T]_33-t — , whose appearance , manners , and opinions had given more than usual food for gossip , and much uncharitableness . [His]_{984-a clergyman} cloth indeed ought to have protected [him]_{984-a clergyman} , but it rather increased the satire , sarcasm , and laughter which [he]_{984-a clergyman} excited . [He]_{984-a clergyman} was brought forward by [the thoughtless youths of [Percy]_99-percy 's party]_{4458-the thoughtless youths of percy 's party} , quizzed unmercifully , made the object of some clever caricatures and satires , and though [young Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} at first kept aloof , [he]_99-percy could not resist the contagion . [He]_99-percy dashed off about half - a - dozen verses of such remarkably witty and clever point , that they were received with roars of applause , and an unanimous request for distribution ; but this [he]_99-percy positively refused , and put them up with one or two other poems of more innocent wit , in which [he]_99-percy was fond of indulging , into [his]_99-percy pocket . The day closed , and the next morning brought with it so many regrets , and such a confused recollection of the very unusual excitement of the previous evening , that [he]_99-percy was glad to dismiss the subject from [his]_99-percy mind , and threw [his]_99-percy satire , as [he]_99-percy believed , into the fire . In fact , [he]_99-percy was so absorbed with the disagreeable conviction that [he]_99-percy could only pay [Mr. Harris]_{161-mr. harris} a third of [his]_99-percy remaining debt , trifling as in reality it was , that [he]_99-percy thought of nothing else . Now [Mr. Harris]_{161-mr. harris} was [the editor]_{4459-the editor} and publisher of rather a clever weekly paper , and [Percy]_99-percy happened to be in [[his]_99-percy parlor]_{4460-his parlor} waiting to speak to [him]_{161-mr. harris} , while [he]_99-percy was paying a contribution . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i wish [my]_0-i head were clever enough to get out of [your]_1219-you debt in that comfortable way , " [he]_99-percy said , half laughing , as [the gentleman]_{4461-the gentleman} left [them]_4462-them together . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i wish all [[my]_0-i customers]_{1220-my customers} were as desirous of paying [their]_{1220-my customers} large debts as [you]_1219-you are [your]_1219-you small ones , " was [Mr. Harris]_{161-mr. harris} 's reply . "_[1219-you] But [I]_0-i have heard something of [your]_1219-you clever verses , [Mr. Percy]_99-percy ; if [you]_1219-you will let [me]_0-i see some , [I]_0-i really may be able to oblige [you]_1219-you , as [you]_1219-you seem so very anxious to have nothing more to do with [me]_0-i — " "_[1219-you] In the way of debt , not of purchases , [Mr. Harris]_{161-mr. harris} ; and [I]_0-i assure [you]_1219-you , [I]_0-i am not thinking so much about [you]_1219-you , as of [my]_0-i own disobedience . [I]_0-i will lend [you]_1219-you [my]_0-i papers , only [you]_1219-you must give [me]_0-i [your]_1219-you word not to publish them with [my]_0-i name . " "_[1219-you] They will not be worth so much , " replied [Mr. Harris]_{161-mr. harris} , smiling . "_[0-i] Only let [me]_0-i feel [they]_1221-they have helped to discharge [my]_0-i debt , or at least let [me]_0-i know how much more is wanted to do so , and [I]_0-i will worship [the muses]_{1222-the muses} henceforth , " replied [Percy]_99-percy , with almost [his]_99-percy natural gayety , for [he]_99-percy felt [he]_99-percy wrote better verses than those [Mr. Harris]_{161-mr. harris} had been so liberally paying for ; and the idea of feeling free again was so very delightful , that , after receiving [Mr. Harris]_{161-mr. harris} 's solemn promise not to betray [his]_{161-mr. harris} authorship , [he]_{161-mr. harris} galloped [home]_563-home , more happy than [he]_{161-mr. harris} had been for some days . [Mr. Harris]_{161-mr. harris} had said [he]_{161-mr. harris} must have them that evening , and [Robert]_102-herbert was leaving for [the town]_{4437-the town} , as [[his]_102-herbert young master]_{1156-his young master} entered [the house]_{3775-the house} . [He]_102-herbert hastily put up [his]_102-herbert portfolio , and sent it off . [His]_102-herbert conscience was so perfectly free from keeping any thing that [he]_102-herbert afterward had cause to regret , that [he]_102-herbert did not think of looking them over , and great was [his]_102-herbert delight , when a few lines arrived from [Mr. Harris]_{161-mr. harris} , speaking in the highest terms of [his]_{161-mr. harris} talent , and saying , that the set of verses [he]_{161-mr. harris} had selected , even without the attraction of [his]_{161-mr. harris} name , would entirely liquidate [his]_{161-mr. harris} trifling debt . For the next few days [Percy]_99-percy trod on air . [He]_99-percy had resolved on waiting till the poem appeared , and then , as [he]_99-percy really had discharged [his]_99-percy debt , take courage and confess the whole to [[his]_99-percy father]_{406-his father} , for [his]_99-percy idea of truth made [him]_99-percy shrink from any farther concealment . [He]_99-percy hoped and believed that [[his]_99-percy father]_{406-his father} would regard the pain and constant annoyance [he]_99-percy had been enduring so long , as sufficient penalty for [his]_99-percy disobedience , and after a time give [him]_99-percy back the confidence , which [he]_99-percy feared must at [his]_99-percy first confession be withdrawn . What , then , was [his]_99-percy grief , [his]_99-percy vexation , almost [his]_99-percy despair , when [he]_99-percy recognized in the poem selected , the verses [he]_99-percy thought and believed [he]_99-percy had burned the morning after they were written ; and which in print , and read by [[his]_99-percy sober self]_{4469-his sober self} , seemed such a heartless , glaring , cruel insult , not only on [a fellow - creature]_{4470-a fellow - creature} , but [a minister of God]_{4471-a minister of god} , that [he]_99-percy felt almost overwhelmed . What could [he]_99-percy do ? [Mr. Harris]_{161-mr. harris} was not to blame , for [he]_{161-mr. harris} had made no reservation as to the contents of [his]_{161-mr. harris} portfolio . [His]_{161-mr. harris} name , indeed , was not to [them]_4472-them , and only having been read lightly once to [[his]_{161-mr. harris} companions]_{282-his companions} of that hateful supper — for so [he]_{161-mr. harris} now felt it — almost [all of whom were not perfectly sober]_{4474-all of whom were not perfectly sober} , there was a chance of [their]_{4474-all of whom were not perfectly sober} never being recognized as [his]_{161-mr. harris} , and as [[their]_{4474-all of whom were not perfectly sober} subject]_{4475-their subject} did not live near [any town where the paper was likely to circulate , might never meet [his]_{161-mr. harris} eye]_{4476-any town where the paper was likely to circulate , might never meet his eye} . But all this was poor comfort . The paper was very seldom seen at [Oakwood]_12-oakwood , but its contents were often spoken of before [[his]_{161-mr. harris} parents]_{3895-his parents} , and how could [he]_{161-mr. harris} endure a reference to those verses , how bear this accumulation of concealment , and , as [he]_{161-mr. harris} felt , deceit , and all sprung from the one thoughtless act of ordering an expensive and unnecessary indulgence , without sufficient consideration how it was to be paid . To tell [[his]_{161-mr. harris} father]_{406-his father} , avow [himself]_{161-mr. harris} [the author of such a satire]_{4479-the author of such a satire} , and on such a subject , [he]_{161-mr. harris} could not . Could [he]_{161-mr. harris} tell [[his]_{161-mr. harris} mother]_{330-his mother} , and implore [her]_{330-his mother} intercession ? that seemed like a want of confidence in [[his]_{161-mr. harris} father]_{406-his father} — no — if [he]_{161-mr. harris} ever could gain courage to confess it , it should be to [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} alone ; but the more [he]_{161-mr. harris} thought , the more , for the first time , [his]_{161-mr. harris} courage failed . It was only the day before [his]_{161-mr. harris} visit to [Lady Helen]_{127-lady helen} 's that [he]_{161-mr. harris} had discovered this accumulation of misfortune , and therefore it was not much wonder [he]_{161-mr. harris} was so dispirited . Two days afterward [Herbert]_102-herbert , with a blushing cheek and very timid voice , asked [[his]_{161-mr. harris} father]_{406-his father} to grant [him]_{161-mr. harris} a great favor . [He]_102-herbert was almost afraid to ask it , [he]_102-herbert said , but [he]_102-herbert hoped and believed [[his]_{161-mr. harris} parent]_{633-his parent} would trust [his]_102-herbert assurance that it was for nothing improper . It was that [he]_102-herbert might be from [home]_563-home next day unattended for several hours . [He]_102-herbert should go on horseback , but [he]_102-herbert was so accustomed to ride , and [his]_102-herbert horse was so steady , [he]_102-herbert hoped [he]_102-herbert might be allowed to go alone . [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} looked very much surprised , as did [all present]_{4485-all present} . That [the quiet , studious Herbert]_102-herbert should wish to give up [his]_102-herbert favorite pursuits , so soon too after [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} 's return , and go on what appeared such a mysterious excursion , was something so extraordinary , that various expressions of surprise broke from [[his]_102-herbert sisters]_{4486-his sisters} and [Edward]_76-edward . [Percy]_99-percy did look up but made no observation . [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} only paused , however , to consult [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} wife]_{521-his wife} 's face and then replied — "_[0-i] [You]_1223-you certainly have mystified [us]_1224-us , [[my]_0-i dear boy]_{1168-my dear boy} ; but [I]_0-i freely grant [you]_1223-you [my]_0-i consent , and if [I]_0-i can read [[your]_1223-you mother]_{3462-your mother} 's face aright , hers is not far distant . [You]_1223-you are now nearly fifteen , and never once from [your]_1223-you birth has [your]_1223-you conduct given [me]_0-i an hour 's pain or uneasiness ; [I]_0-i have therefore quite sufficient confidence in [your]_1223-you integrity and steadiness to trust [you]_1223-you , as [you]_1223-you wish , alone . [I]_0-i will not even ask [your]_1223-you intentions , for [I]_0-i am sure [they]_1227-they will not lead [you]_1223-you into wrong . " "_[0-i] Thank [you]_0-i , again and again , [[my]_0-i own dear father]_{1228-my own dear father} . [I]_0-i hope [I]_0-i shall never do any thing to forfeit [your]_{3462-your mother} confidence , " replied [Herbert]_102-herbert , so eagerly that [his]_102-herbert cheeks flushed still deeper , and [his]_102-herbert eyes glistened ; then throwing [himself]_102-herbert on the stool at [[his]_102-herbert mother]_{330-his mother} 's feet , [he]_102-herbert said , pleadingly , "_[0-i] Will [you]_{3462-your mother} , too , trust [me]_0-i , [dearest mother]_{1229-dearest mother} , and promise [me]_0-i not to be anxious , if [I]_0-i do not appear till after [our]_1230-our dinner - hour?—promise [me]_0-i this , or [I]_0-i shall have no pleasure in [my]_0-i expedition . " "_{[1231-my herbert]} Most faithfully , " replied [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , fondly . "_{[1231-my herbert]} [I]_0-i trust [[my]_0-i Herbert]_{1231-my herbert} almost as [I]_0-i would [[his]_{1231-my herbert} father]_{406-his father} ; [I]_0-i do not say as much for [this young man]_{1233-this young man} , nor for that , " [she]_0-i added , playfully laying [her]_0-i hand on [Percy]_99-percy 's shoulder , and laughing at [Edward]_76-edward , who was so excessively amused at the sage [Herbert]_102-herbert 's turning truant , that [he]_76-edward was giving vent to a variety of most grotesque antics of surprise . [Percy]_99-percy sighed so heavily that [[his]_99-percy mother]_{330-his mother} was startled . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i did not intend to call such a very heavy sigh , [[my]_0-i boy]_{868-my boy} , " [she]_0-i said . "_[0-i] In an emergency [I]_0-i would trust [you]_{868-my boy} quite as implicitly as [Herbert]_102-herbert ; but [you]_{868-my boy} have often [yourself]_{868-my boy} wished [you]_{868-my boy} had [his]_102-herbert steadiness . " "_{[868-my boy]} Indeed [I]_0-i do , [mother]_3430-mother ; [I]_0-i wish [I]_0-i were more like [him]_102-herbert in every thing , " exclaimed [Percy]_99-percy , far more despondingly than usual . "_{[102-herbert]} [You]_{868-my boy} will be steady all in time , [[my]_0-i boy]_{868-my boy} , [I]_0-i have not the very slightest fear ; and as [I]_0-i like variety , even in [[my]_0-i sons]_{1237-my sons} , [I]_0-i would rather retain [[my]_0-i Percy]_{3548-my percy} , with all [his]_{3548-my percy} boyish errors , than have even another [Herbert]_102-herbert . So pray do not look so sad , or [I]_0-i shall fancy [I]_0-i have given [you]_{868-my boy} pain , when [I]_0-i only spoke in jest . " [Percy]_99-percy threw [his]_99-percy arm round [her]_{868-my boy} waist , and kissed [her]_{868-my boy} two or three times , without saying a word , and when [he]_99-percy started up and , said , in [his]_99-percy usual gay tone , that as [he]_99-percy was not going to turn truant the next day , [he]_99-percy must go and finish some work , [she]_{868-my boy} saw tears in [his]_99-percy eyes . That something was wrong , [she]_{868-my boy} felt certain , but still [she]_{868-my boy} trusted in [his]_99-percy candor and integrity , and did not express [her]_{868-my boy} fears even to [[her]_{868-my boy} husband]_{340-her husband} . The morrow came . [Percy]_99-percy and [Edward]_76-edward went to [[Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} 's]_{920-mr. howard 's} , and [Herbert]_102-herbert at half - past nine mounted [his]_102-herbert quiet horse , and after affectionately embracing [[his]_102-herbert mother]_{330-his mother} , and again promising care and steadiness , departed . [He]_102-herbert had risen at five this morning , and studied till breakfast so earnestly that a double portion was prepared for the next day . [He]_102-herbert had said , as [he]_102-herbert was starting , that , if [he]_102-herbert might remain out so long , [he]_102-herbert should like to call at [Greville Manor]_{30-greville manor} on [his]_102-herbert way back , take tea [there]_320-there , and return [home]_563-home in the cool of the evening . "_[0-i] [Your]_1239-your next request , [[my]_0-i very modest son]_{1240-my very modest son} , will be , [I]_0-i suppose , to stay out all night , " replied [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} ; "_[0-i] and that certainly will be refused . This is the last to which [I]_0-i shall consent — off with [you]_1239-your , [[my]_0-i boy]_{868-my boy} , and enjoy [yourself]_1239-your . " But [Herbert]_102-herbert did not expect to enjoy [himself]_102-herbert half as much as if [he]_102-herbert had gone to [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} 's as usual . [He]_102-herbert did not like to mention [his]_102-herbert real object , for it appeared as if the chances were so much against its attainment , and if it were fulfilled , to speak about it would be equally painful , from its having been an act of kindness . The day passed quietly , and a full hour before prayers , [Herbert]_102-herbert was seen riding through [the grounds]_{4495-the grounds} , and when [he]_102-herbert entered [the usual sitting - room]_{4496-the usual sitting - room} , [he]_102-herbert looked so happy , so animated that , if [[his]_102-herbert parents]_{3895-his parents} had felt any anxiety — which [they]_{3895-his parents} had not — it would have vanished at once . But though [they]_{3895-his parents} were contented not to ask [him]_102-herbert any questions , [the young party]_{3941-the young party} were not , and , except by [Percy]_99-percy ( who seemed intently engaged with a drawing ) , [he]_102-herbert was attacked on all sides , and , to add to [their]_{3895-his parents} mirth , [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} took the part of [the curious]_{4499-the curious} , [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} wife]_{521-his wife} that of [[her]_{521-his wife} son]_{326-her son} . "_[3420-mamma] Ah , [mamma]_3420-mamma may well take [Herbert]_102-herbert 's part , " exclaimed [the little joyous Emmeline]_{4502-the little joyous emmeline} ; "_[3420-mamma] for of course [she]_3420-mamma knows all about it ; [Herbert]_102-herbert would never keep it from [her]_3420-mamma . " "_{[102-herbert]} Indeed [I]_0-i do not ! " and "_{[102-herbert]} Indeed [I]_0-i have not even told [mamma]_3420-mamma ! " was the reply from [both]_762-both at the same moment , but the denial was useless ; and the prayer - bell rung , before any satisfaction for the curious could be obtained , except that from half - past six [Herbert]_102-herbert had been very quietly at [[Mrs. Greville]_{140-mrs. greville} 's]_{4504-mrs. greville 's} . That night , as [Percy]_99-percy sat in gloomy meditation in [[his]_99-percy own room]_{4410-his own room} , before [he]_99-percy retired to bed , [he]_99-percy felt a hand laid gently on [his]_99-percy shoulder , and looking up , beheld [[his]_99-percy brother]_{715-his brother} — "_[3420-mamma] Have [you]_102-herbert lost all interest in [me]_0-i , [Percy]_99-percy ? " asked [Herbert]_102-herbert , with almost melancholy reproach . "_{[102-herbert]} If [you]_102-herbert had expressed one word of inquiry as to [my]_0-i proceedings , [I]_0-i should have told [you]_102-herbert all without the slightest reserve . [You]_102-herbert have never before been so little concerned for [me]_0-i , and indeed [I]_0-i do not like it . " "_{[102-herbert]} [I]_0-i could not ask [your]_102-herbert confidence , [[my]_0-i dear]_{3485-my dear} [Herbert]_102-herbert , when for the last three months [I]_0-i have been wanting in openness to [you]_102-herbert . Indeed , annoyed as [I]_0-i am with [my]_0-i own folly , [I]_0-i was as deeply interested as all the rest in [your]_102-herbert expedition , though [I]_0-i guessed its object could be nothing but kindness ; but how could [I]_0-i ask [your]_102-herbert secret when [I]_0-i was so reserved with [you]_102-herbert . " "_[0-i] Then do not let [us]_1245-us have secrets from [each other]_{938-each other} any longer , dearest [Percy]_99-percy , " pleaded [Herbert]_102-herbert , twining [his]_102-herbert arm round [his]_102-herbert neck , and looking with affectionate confidence in [his]_102-herbert face . "_[99-percy] [I]_0-i do not at all see why [my]_0-i secret must comprise more worth and kindness than [yours]_102-herbert . [You]_102-herbert talk of folly , and [I]_0-i have fancied for some days that [you]_102-herbert are not quite happy ; but [you]_102-herbert often blame [yourself]_102-herbert so much more than [you]_102-herbert deserve , that [you]_102-herbert do not frighten [me]_0-i in the least . [You]_102-herbert said , last night , [you]_102-herbert wished [you]_102-herbert were more like [me]_0-i ; but , indeed , if [you]_102-herbert were , [I]_0-i should be very sorry . What would become of [me]_0-i without [your]_102-herbert mirth and liveliness , and [your]_102-herbert strength and ever - working care to protect [me]_0-i from any thing like pain , either mentally or bodily ? [I]_0-i should not like [my]_0-i own self for [[my]_0-i brother]_{1247-my brother} at all . " "_[0-i] Nor [I]_0-i [myself]_0-i for [mine]_0-i , " replied [Percy]_99-percy , so strangely cheered , that [he]_99-percy almost laughed at [Herbert]_102-herbert 's very novel idea , and after listening with earnest interest to [his]_99-percy story , took courage and told [his]_99-percy own . [Herbert]_102-herbert in this instance , however , could not comfort [him]_99-percy as successfully as usual . The satire was the terrible thing ; every thing else but that , even the disobedience of the debt , [he]_99-percy thought might be easily remedied by an open confession to [[his]_99-percy father]_{406-his father} ; but that unfortunate oversight in not looking over [his]_99-percy papers before [he]_99-percy sent them to [Mr. Harris]_{161-mr. harris} , the seeming utter impossibility to stop [their]_4508-their circulation , was to both [these single - hearted , high - principled lads]_{4509-these single - hearted , high - principled lads} something almost overwhelming . It did not in the least signify to either that [Percy]_99-percy might never be known as [[their]_{4509-these single - hearted , high - principled lads} author]_{4510-their author} . [Herbert]_102-herbert could not tell [him]_99-percy what to do , except that , if [he]_102-herbert could but get sufficient courage to tell [[their]_{4509-these single - hearted , high - principled lads} father]_{965-their father} , even if [he]_102-herbert could not help [them]_{4509-these single - hearted , high - principled lads} , [he]_102-herbert was sure it would be a great weight off [his]_102-herbert mind , and then [he]_102-herbert gently reproached [him]_99-percy for not coming to [him]_99-percy to help [him]_99-percy discharge [his]_99-percy debt ; it was surely much better to owe a trifle to [[his]_99-percy brother]_{715-his brother} than to [Mr. Harris]_{161-mr. harris} . "_[0-i] And , to gratify [my]_0-i extravagance , deprive [you]_1248-you of some much purer and better pleasure ! " replied [Percy]_99-percy , indignantly . "_{[102-herbert]} No , no , [Bertie]_102-herbert ; never expect [me]_0-i to do any such thing ; [I]_0-i would rather suffer the penalty of [my]_0-i own faults fifty times over ! [I]_0-i wish to heaven [I]_0-i were [a child]_{265-a child} again , " [he]_99-percy added with almost comic ruefulness , "_{[265-a child]} and had [mamma]_3420-mamma to come to [me]_0-i every night , as [she]_3420-mamma used to do , before [I]_0-i went to sleep . It was so easy then to tell [her]_3420-mamma all [I]_0-i had done wrong in the course of the day , and then one error never grew into so many : but now — it must be out before Sunday , [I]_0-i suppose — [I]_0-i never can talk to [[my]_0-i father]_{3451-my father} as [I]_0-i do on that day , unless it is;—but go to bed , [dear Herbert]_102-herbert ; [I]_0-i shall have [your]_102-herbert pale cheeks upon [my]_0-i conscience to - morrow , too ! " "_[1252-you] Do [you]_1252-you remember , [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , [a Mr. Morton]_{162-mr. morton} , who officiated for [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} at [Aveling]_35-aveling , five or six weeks ago ? " asked [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} of [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} wife]_{521-his wife} , on the Saturday morning after [Herbert]_102-herbert 's mysterious excursion . [The family]_{3915-the family} had not yet left the breakfast - table . "_{[162-mr. morton]} Perfectly well , " was the reply ; "_{[1253-poor young man]} [poor young man]_{1253-poor young man} ! [his]_{1253-poor young man} appearance and painful weakness of voice called for commiseration too deeply not to be remembered . " "_{[1253-poor young man]} Is [he]_{1253-poor young man} not deformed ? " inquired [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} ; "_{[1253-poor young man]} there was something particularly painful about [his]_{1253-poor young man} manner as [he]_{1253-poor young man} stood in the pulpit . " "_{[1253-poor young man]} [He]_{1253-poor young man} is slightly deformed now ; but not five years ago [he]_{1253-poor young man} had a graceful , almost elegant figure , though always apparently too delicate for the fatiguing mental duties in which [he]_{1253-poor young man} indulged . [He]_{1253-poor young man} was of [good family]_{1254-good family} , but [[his]_{1253-poor young man} parents]_{3895-his parents} were suddenly much reduced , and compelled to undergo many privations to enable [him]_{1253-poor young man} to go to [Oxford]_36-oxford . There [he]_{1253-poor young man} allowed [himself]_{1253-poor young man} neither relaxation nor pleasure of the most trifling and most harmless kind ; [his]_{1253-poor young man} only wish seemed to be to repay [[his]_{1253-poor young man} parents]_{3895-his parents} in some degree the heavy debt of gratitude which [he]_{1253-poor young man} felt [he]_{1253-poor young man} owed [them]_{3895-his parents} . [His]_{1253-poor young man} persevering study , great talent , and remarkable conduct , won [him]_{1253-poor young man} [some valuable friends]_{1257-some valuable friends} , one of whom , as soon as [he]_{1253-poor young man} was ordained , presented [him]_{1253-poor young man} with a rich living in [the North]_{1258-the north} . For nine months [he]_{1253-poor young man} enjoyed the most unalloyed happiness . [[His]_{1253-poor young man} pretty vicarage]_{1259-his pretty vicarage} presented [a happy , comfortable home for [[his]_{1253-poor young man} parents]_{3895-his parents}]_{1260-a happy , comfortable home for his parents} , and the comforts [they]_{3895-his parents} now enjoyed , earned by the worth of [[their]_{3895-his parents} son]_{1262-their son} , amply repaid [them]_{3895-his parents} for former privations.—One cold snowy night [he]_{1253-poor young man} was summoned to [a poor parishioner]_{1263-a poor parishioner} , living about ten miles distant . [The road]_{271-the road} was rugged , and in some parts dangerous ; but [he]_{1253-poor young man} was [not a man to shrink from [his]_{1253-poor young man} duty for such reasons]_{1265-not a man to shrink from his duty for such reasons} . [He]_{1253-poor young man} was detained eight hours , during which time the snow had fallen incessantly , and it was pitchy dark . Still believing [he]_{1253-poor young man} knew [[his]_{1253-poor young man} road]_{1266-his road} , [he]_{1253-poor young man} proceeded , and the next morning was found lying apparently dead at the foot of a precipice , and almost crushed under the mangled and distorted carcass of [his]_{1253-poor young man} horse . " An exclamation of horror burst from [all the little group]_{4515-all the little group} , except from [Percy]_99-percy and [Herbert]_102-herbert ; the face of [the former]_{313-the former} was covered with [his]_{1253-poor young man} hands , and [[his]_{1253-poor young man} brother]_{715-his brother} seemed so watching and feeling for [him]_{1253-poor young man} , as to be unable to join the general sympathy . All , however , were so engrossed with [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's tale , that neither was observed . "_{[1253-poor young man]} [He]_{1253-poor young man} was so severely injured , that for months [his]_{1253-poor young man} very life was despaired of . Symptoms of decline followed , and the inability to resume [his]_{1253-poor young man} ministerial duties for years , if ever again , compelled [him]_{1253-poor young man} to resign [his]_{1253-poor young man} rich and beautiful living in [Yorkshire]_37-yorkshire ; and [he]_{1253-poor young man} felt [himself]_{1253-poor young man} once more a burden on [[his]_{1253-poor young man} parents]_{3895-his parents} , with scarcely any hope of supporting [them]_{3895-his parents} again . Nor was this all ; [his]_{1253-poor young man} figure , once so slight and supple , had become so shrunk and maimed , that at first [he]_{1253-poor young man} seemed actually to loathe the sight of [[his]_{1253-poor young man} fellows]_{1268-his fellows} . [His]_{1253-poor young man} voice , once so rich and almost thrilling , became wiry , and almost painfully monotonous ; and for some months the conflict for submission to this inscrutable and most awful trial was so terrible that [he]_{1253-poor young man} nearly sunk beneath it . This was , of course , still more physical than mental , and gradually subsided , as , after eighteen months ' residence in [Madeira]_38-madeira , where [he]_{1253-poor young man} was sent by [a benevolent friend]_{1269-a benevolent friend} , some portion of health returned . [The same benefactor]_{1270-the same benefactor} established [[his]_{1253-poor young man} father]_{406-his father} in some humble but most welcome business in [London]_13-london ; and earnestly , on [his]_{1253-poor young man} return , did [[his]_{1253-poor young man} parents]_{3895-his parents} persuade [him]_{1253-poor young man} to remain quietly with [them]_{3895-his parents} , and not undertake the ministry again ; but this [he]_{1253-poor young man} could not do , and gratefully accepted [a poor and most miserable parish on [the moor]_{1274-the moor}]_{1273-a poor and most miserable parish on the moor} , not eight miles from here . " "_{[1253-poor young man]} But when did [you]_{1253-poor young man} become acquainted with [him]_{1253-poor young man} , [papa]_3546-papa ? " asked [Caroline]_120-caroline ; "_{[1253-poor young man]} [you]_{1253-poor young man} have never mentioned [him]_{1253-poor young man} before . " "_{[1253-poor young man]} No , [[my]_0-i dear]_{3485-my dear} ; [I]_0-i never saw [him]_{1253-poor young man} till the Sunday [he]_{1253-poor young man} officiated for [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} ; but [his]_{1253-poor young man} appearance so deeply interested [me]_0-i , [I]_0-i did not rest till [I]_0-i had learned [his]_{1253-poor young man} whole history , which [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} had already discovered . [He]_{1253-poor young man} has been nearly a year in [Devonshire]_{11-devonshire} , but so kept aloof from all but [[his]_{1253-poor young man} own poor parishioners]_{1277-his own poor parishioners} , dreading the ridicule and sneers of [the more worldly and wealthy]_{1278-the more worldly and wealthy} , that it was mere accident which made [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} acquainted with [him]_{1253-poor young man} . [[Our]_1279-our good minister]_{1280-our good minister} 's friendship and earnest exhortations have so far overcome [his]_{1253-poor young man} too great sensitiveness , as sometimes to prevail on [him]_{1253-poor young man} to visit [the Vicarage]_{1281-the vicarage} , and [I]_0-i trust in time equally to succeed in bringing [him]_{1253-poor young man} [here]_3850-here . " "_[0-i] But what is [he]_{1253-poor young man} so afraid of , [dear papa]_{845-dear papa} ? " innocently asked [Emmeline]_78-emmeline . "_{[1253-poor young man]} Surely [nobody]_1284-nobody could be so cruel as to ridicule [him]_{1253-poor young man} because [he]_{1253-poor young man} is deformed ? " "_{[1284-nobody]} Unfortunately , [[my]_0-i dear child]_{1285-my dear child} , there are too many who only enter [church]_3975-church for the sake of the sermon and [the preacher]_{1287-the preacher} , and to criticise severely and uncharitably all that differs from [their]_1288-their preconceived ideas ; to [such persons]_{1289-such persons} [Mr. Morton]_{162-mr. morton} must be an object of derision . And now [I]_0-i come to the real reason of [my]_0-i asking [[your]_{1285-my dear child} mother]_{3462-your mother} if [she]_{3462-your mother} remembered [him]_{1253-poor young man} . " "_{[3462-your mother]} Then [you]_{1285-my dear child} had a reason , " answered [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , smiling ; "_{[3462-your mother]} [your]_{1285-my dear child} story has made [me]_0-i wonder whether [you]_{1285-my dear child} had or not . " "_{[1285-my dear child]} [I]_0-i must tax [your]_{1285-my dear child} memory once more , [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , before [my]_0-i cause is told . Do [you]_{1285-my dear child} recollect , for a fortnight after the Sunday [we]_1291-we heard [him]_{1253-poor young man} , [he]_{1253-poor young man} preached twice a week at [Torrington]_{39-torrington} , to oblige [a very particular friend]_{1292-a very particular friend} ? " "_{[1285-my dear child]} Yes , and that [you]_{1285-my dear child} feared the increased number of [the congregation]_{1293-the congregation} proceeded far more from curiosity than kindliness or devotion . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i did say so , and [my]_0-i fears are confirmed : some affairs brought [Morton]_{162-mr. morton} to [Torrington]_{39-torrington} for two or three days this week , and yesterday [I]_0-i called on [him]_{1253-poor young man} , and had some hours ' interesting conversation . [He]_{1253-poor young man} was evidently even more than usually depressed and self - shrinking , if [I]_0-i may use the word , and at length touched , it seemed , by [my]_0-i sympathy , [he]_{1253-poor young man} drew [my]_0-i attention to a poem in [Harris]_{161-mr. harris} 's ' Weekly Magazine . ' " "_{[1253-poor young man]} ' It is not enough that it has pleased [[my]_0-i God]_{3522-my god} to afflict [me]_0-i , ' [he]_{1253-poor young man} said , ' but [my]_0-i fellow - creatures must unkindly make [me]_0-i the subject of attacks such as these . There is indeed no name , but to none else but [me]_0-i will it apply . ' [I]_0-i could not reply , for [I]_0-i really felt too deeply for [him]_{1253-poor young man} . It was such a cruel , wanton insult , the very talent of [the writer]_{1295-the writer} , for the verses though few in number were remarkably clever , adding to [their]_1296-their gall . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i wonder [Harris]_{161-mr. harris} should have published them , " observed [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} ; "_[0-i] [his]_{161-mr. harris} paper is not in general of a personal kind . " "_[0-i] It is never sufficiently guarded ; and it would require a person of higher principles than [I]_0-i fear [Harris]_{161-mr. harris} has , to resist the temptation of inserting a satire likely to sell a double or treble number of [his]_{161-mr. harris} papers . [I]_0-i spoke to [him]_{161-mr. harris} at once , and bought up every one that remained ; but though [he]_{161-mr. harris} expressed regret , it was not in a tone that at all satisfied [me]_0-i as to [his]_{161-mr. harris} feeling it , and of course , as the paper has been published since last Saturday evening , the circulation had nearly ceased . If [I]_0-i could but know [the author]_{1297-the author} , [I]_0-i think [I]_0-i could make [him]_{161-mr. harris} feel the excessive cruelty , if not the actual guilt , of [his]_{161-mr. harris} wanton deed . " "_[0-i] But , [dear papa]_{845-dear papa} , [the person who wrote it]_{1299-the person who wrote it} might not have known [his]_{161-mr. harris} story , " interposed [Caroline]_120-caroline , to [Edward]_76-edward 's and [Ellen]_113-ellen 's astonishment , that [she]_120-caroline had courage to speak at all ; for [[their]_4518-their uncle]_{665-their uncle} 's unusual tone and look brought back almost more vividly than it had ever done before [[their]_4518-their mother]_{488-their mother} 's lessons of [his]_{665-their uncle} exceeding and terrible sternness . "_{[1299-the person who wrote it]} That does not excuse the ridicule , [[my]_0-i dear child]_{1285-my dear child} ; it only confirms the lesson [I]_0-i have so often tried to teach [you]_1301-you all , that any thing tending by word or deed to hurt the feelings of [a fellow - creature]_{4470-a fellow - creature} , is absolutely wrong — wrong in the thing itself , not according to the greater or less amount of pain it may excite . " "_{[1295-the writer]} But , [[my]_0-i dear husband]_{1303-my dear husband} , [the writer]_{1295-the writer} may not have been so taught . Satire and ridicule are unhappily so popular , that these verses may have been penned without any thought of [their]_1305-their evil tendency , merely as to the éclat they would bring [[their]_1305-their author]_{4510-their author} . [We]_1307-we must not be too severe , for [we]_1307-we do not know — " "_{[3430-mother]} [Mother]_3430-mother ! [mother]_3430-mother ! do not — do not speak so , if [you]_3430-mother have ever loved [me]_0-i ! " at length exclaimed [poor Percy]_99-percy , so choked with [his]_99-percy emotion , that [he]_99-percy could only throw [himself]_99-percy by [her]_3430-mother side , bury [his]_99-percy face in [her]_3430-mother lap , and sob for a few minutes like [a child]_{265-a child} . But [he]_99-percy recovered [himself]_99-percy with a strong effort , before [either of [[his]_99-percy family]_{4086-his family}]_{4522-either of his family} could conquer [their]_{4086-his family} anxiety and alarm , and , standing erect , though pale as marble , without in the least degree attempting excuse or extenuation , acknowledged the poem as [his]_99-percy , and poured out [his]_99-percy whole story , with the sole exception of how [he]_99-percy had disposed of the money , with which the second time of receiving [his]_99-percy allowance [he]_99-percy had intended to discharge [his]_99-percy debt ; and the manner in which [he]_99-percy told that part of [his]_99-percy tale , from the fear that it would seem like an excuse or a boast , was certainly more calculated to call for doubt than belief . [Herbert]_102-herbert was about to speak , but an imploring glance from [Percy]_99-percy checked [him]_102-herbert . [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} was silent several minutes after [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} son]_{514-his son} had concluded , before [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} could reply . [Percy]_99-percy was so evidently distressed — had suffered so much from the consequence of [his]_99-percy own errors — felt so intensely the unintentional publication of [his]_99-percy poem — for [[his]_99-percy father]_{406-his father} knew [his]_99-percy truth far too well to doubt [his]_99-percy tale , and there was something so intrinsically noble in [his]_99-percy brave confession , that to condemn [him]_99-percy severely [he]_99-percy felt as if [he]_99-percy could not . "_{[3430-mother]} Of willful cruelty toward [Mr. Morton]_{162-mr. morton} , [your]_{162-mr. morton} story has certainly exculpated [you]_{162-mr. morton} , " [he]_99-percy said , as sternly as [he]_99-percy could ; "_{[162-mr. morton]} but otherwise [you]_{162-mr. morton} must be [yourself]_{162-mr. morton} aware that it has given [me]_0-i both grief and pain , and the more so , because [you]_{162-mr. morton} evidently shrink from telling [me]_0-i in what manner [you]_{162-mr. morton} squandered away that money which would have been sufficient to have fully discharged [your]_{162-mr. morton} debt six weeks ago ; [I]_0-i must therefore believe there is still some deed of folly unrevealed . [I]_0-i condemn [you]_{162-mr. morton} to no punishment — [you]_{162-mr. morton} are old enough now to know right from wrong , and [your]_{162-mr. morton} own feelings must condemn or applaud [you]_{162-mr. morton} . Had [you]_{162-mr. morton} been firm , as [I]_0-i had hoped [you]_{162-mr. morton} were , example would not so have worked upon [you]_{162-mr. morton} , as to tempt even the composition of [your]_{162-mr. morton} satire ; as it is , [you]_{162-mr. morton} must reap the consequences of [your]_{162-mr. morton} weakness , in the painful consciousness that [you]_{162-mr. morton} have deeply wounded [one , who it would seem had been already sufficiently afflicted , and that confidence]_{1310-one , who it would seem had been already sufficiently afflicted , and that confidence} must for the time be broken between [us]_1311-us . Go , [sir]_3463-sir , the hour of [your]_{162-mr. morton} attendance on [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} is passed . " [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} rose with the last words , and somewhat hastily quitted [the room]_{356-the room} . [Percy]_99-percy only ventured one look at [[his]_99-percy mother]_{330-his mother} , [she]_{330-his mother} seemed so grieved — so sad — that [he]_99-percy could not bear it ; and darting out of [the room]_{356-the room} , was seen in less than a minute traversing [the grounds]_{4495-the grounds} in the direction of [the vicarage]_{1281-the vicarage} , at such a rate that [Edward]_76-edward , fleet as in general [he]_76-edward was , could not overtake [him]_76-edward . [Herbert]_102-herbert lingered ; [he]_102-herbert could not bear that any part of [Percy]_99-percy 's story should remain concealed , and so told at once how [his]_102-herbert second allowance had been expended . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's eyes glistened . [Percy]_99-percy 's incoherence on that one point had given [her]_{330-his mother} more anxiety than any thing else , and the relief the truth bestowed was inexpressible . Imprudent it was ; but there was something so lovable in such a disposition , that [she]_{330-his mother} could not resist going directly to [[her]_{330-his mother} husband]_{340-her husband} to impart it . "_[1313-you] [You]_1313-you always bring [me]_0-i comfort , [dearest]_861-dearest ! " was [his]_{340-her husband} fond rejoinder ; "_[1313-you] anxious as [that boy]_{1315-that boy} 's thoughtlessness must make [me]_0-i ( for what are [his]_{1315-that boy} temptations now to what they will be ? ) still [I]_0-i must imbibe [your]_1313-you fond belief , that with such an open , generous , truthful heart , [he]_{1315-that boy} can not go far wrong . But what are [we]_1316-we to do about that unfortunate poem ? [I]_0-i can not associate with [Morton]_{162-mr. morton} , knowing the truth , and yet permit [him]_{1315-that boy} to believe [I]_0-i am as ignorant of [the author]_{1297-the author} as [himself]_{1315-that boy} . " "_[0-i] Let [me]_0-i speak to [Percy]_99-percy before [we]_1316-we decide on anything , [[my]_0-i dear]_{3485-my dear} [Arthur]_{84-arthur hamilton} . Is [Mr. Morton]_{162-mr. morton} still at [Torrington]_{39-torrington} ? " "_{[1315-that boy]} No ; [he]_{1315-that boy} was to return to [Heathmore]_40-heathmore this morning . " [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} looked very thoughtful , but [she]_0-i did not make any rejoinder . In the hour of recreation [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , declaring it was much too hot for [the garden]_{3457-the garden} , sought [[[her]_78-emmeline mother]_{345-her mother} 's private sitting - room]_{4534-her mother 's private sitting - room} , with the intention of asking where [she]_78-emmeline could find [[her]_78-emmeline father]_{435-her father} . To [her]_78-emmeline great delight , the question was arrested on [her]_78-emmeline lips , for [he]_{435-her father} was there . [She]_78-emmeline seated [herself]_78-emmeline on [his]_{435-her father} knee , and remained there for some minutes without speaking — only looking up in [his]_{435-her father} face with the most coaxing expression imaginable . "_{[1315-that boy]} Well , [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , what great favor are [you]_78-emmeline going to ask [me]_0-i ? " said [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , smiling ; "_{[78-emmeline]} some weighty boon , [I]_0-i am quite sure . " "_[3546-papa] Indeed , [papa]_3546-papa , and how do [you]_3546-papa know that ? " "_[3546-papa] [I]_0-i can read it in [your]_3546-papa eyes . " "_[0-i] [My]_0-i eyes are treacherous tell - tales then , and [you]_3546-papa shall not see them any more , " [she]_78-emmeline replied , laughing , and shaking [her]_78-emmeline head till [her]_78-emmeline long bright ringlets completely hid [her]_78-emmeline eyes and blushing cheeks . "_[1320-they] But have [they]_1320-they told [you]_3546-papa the favor [I]_0-i am going to ask ? " "_[1320-they] No , " replied [[her]_78-emmeline father]_{435-her father} , joining in [her]_78-emmeline laugh ; "_[1320-they] [they]_1320-they leave that to [your]_0-i tongue . " "_[1320-they] [I]_0-i can read more , [I]_0-i think , " said [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} ; "_[0-i] [I]_0-i am very much mistaken , if [I]_0-i do not know what [Emmeline]_78-emmeline is going to ask . " "_{[78-emmeline]} Only that — that — " still [she]_78-emmeline hesitated , as if afraid to continue , and [[her]_78-emmeline mother]_{345-her mother} added — "_{[78-emmeline]} That [papa]_3546-papa will not be very angry with [Percy]_99-percy ; [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , is not that the boon [you]_78-emmeline have no courage to ask ? " A still deeper glow mounted to [the child]_{346-the child} 's fair cheek , and throwing [her]_78-emmeline arms round [[her]_78-emmeline father]_{435-her father} 's neck , [she]_78-emmeline said , coaxingly and fondly — "_{[78-emmeline]} [Mamma]_80-mamma has guessed it , [dear papa]_{845-dear papa} ! [you]_{845-dear papa} must , indeed , [you]_{845-dear papa} must forgive [him]_3546-papa — [poor fellow]_{1323-poor fellow} ! [he]_3546-papa is so very sorry , and [he]_3546-papa has suffered so much already — and [he]_3546-papa did not throw away [his]_3546-papa money foolishly , as [you]_{845-dear papa} thought ; [he]_3546-papa gave it to [some very poor people]_{1324-some very poor people} — and [you]_{845-dear papa} are always pleased when [we]_1325-we are charitable ; pray forget every thing else but that , and treat [him]_3546-papa as [you]_{845-dear papa} always do , [dear papa]_{845-dear papa} — will [you]_{845-dear papa} not ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i wonder which is most certain — that [mamma]_3420-mamma must be [a witch]_{1328-a witch} , or [Emmeline]_78-emmeline [a most eloquent little pleader]_{1329-a most eloquent little pleader} , " said [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , caressingly stroking the ringlets [she]_3420-mamma had disordered , "_{[78-emmeline]} and suppose , after to - day , [I]_0-i do grant [your]_{845-dear papa} request — what then ? " "_{[78-emmeline]} Oh , [you]_{845-dear papa} will be such [a dear , darling]_{1330-a dear , darling} , [good papa]_{1132-good papa} ! " exclaimed [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , almost suffocating [him]_{845-dear papa} with kisses , and then starting from [his]_{845-dear papa} knee , [she]_78-emmeline danced about [the room]_{356-the room} in a perfect ecstasy of delight ; "_{[845-dear papa]} and [Percy]_99-percy will be happy again , and [we]_1332-we shall all be so happy . [Mamma]_80-mamma , [dear mamma]_{3422-dear mamma} , [I]_0-i am sure [you]_{3422-dear mamma} will be glad too . " "_[80-mamma] And now , [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , when [you]_78-emmeline have danced [yourself]_78-emmeline sober again , come back to [your]_78-emmeline seat , for as [I]_0-i have listened to and answered [you]_78-emmeline , [you]_78-emmeline must listen to and answer [me]_0-i . " In an instant [she]_78-emmeline was on [his]_3546-papa knee again , quite quiet and attentive . "_{[78-emmeline]} In the first place , do [you]_78-emmeline think [Percy]_99-percy was justified making [Mr. Morton]_{162-mr. morton} an object of satire at all , even if it should never have left [his]_99-percy own portfolio ? " "_[3546-papa] No , [papa]_3546-papa , and [I]_0-i am quite sure , if [he]_99-percy had not been rather more excited — and — and heedless than usual — which was very likely [he]_99-percy should be , [you]_3546-papa know , [papa]_3546-papa , after such a day of nothing but pleasure — [he]_99-percy would never have done such a thing : [I]_0-i am sure [he]_99-percy did not think of hurting [Mr. Morton]_{162-mr. morton} 's feelings ; [he]_99-percy only wanted to prove that [he]_99-percy was quite as clever as [[his]_99-percy companions]_{282-his companions} , and that was very natural , [you]_3546-papa know , when [he]_99-percy is so clever at such things . But [[my]_0-i brother]_{1247-my brother} [Percy]_99-percy willingly ridicule [a clergyman]_{984-a clergyman} ! no , no , [dear papa]_{845-dear papa} , pray do not believe it . " "_{[845-dear papa]} Well defended , [[my]_0-i little girl]_{3465-my little girl} ; but how do [you]_3546-papa justify [his]_99-percy disobeying [my]_0-i commands , and incurring a debt ? " [Emmeline]_78-emmeline was silent . "_[3546-papa] [He]_99-percy was very wrong to do that , [papa]_3546-papa ; but [I]_0-i am sure , when [he]_99-percy ordered the engravings , [he]_99-percy did not intend to disobey [you]_3546-papa , and [you]_3546-papa know [he]_99-percy is naturally very — [I]_0-i mean a little impatient . " "_[99-percy] Still on the defensive , [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , even against [your]_3546-papa better judgment . Well , well , [I]_0-i must not make [you]_3546-papa condemn [[your]_3546-papa brother]_{3473-your brother} ; does [he]_99-percy know what [an eloquent pleader]_{1343-an eloquent pleader} [he]_99-percy has in [[his]_99-percy sister]_{561-his sister} ? " "_[99-percy] No , [papa]_3546-papa ; and pray do not tell [him]_99-percy . " "_[99-percy] And why not ? " "_[99-percy] Because [he]_99-percy might think it was only for [my]_0-i sake [you]_3546-papa forgave [him]_99-percy , and not for [his]_99-percy own ; and [I]_0-i know [I]_0-i should not like that , if [I]_0-i were in [his]_99-percy place . " "_[99-percy] [He]_99-percy shall know nothing more than [you]_3546-papa desire , [[my]_0-i dear little girl]_{3474-my dear little girl} , " replied [[her]_{3474-my dear little girl} father]_{435-her father} , drawing [her]_3546-papa closer to [him]_{435-her father} , with almost involuntary tenderness . "_[99-percy] And now will [you]_3546-papa try and remember what [I]_0-i am going to say . [You]_3546-papa wish [me]_0-i only to think of [Percy]_99-percy 's kind act in giving [his]_99-percy money to [the poor people]_{1347-the poor people} ; but [I]_0-i should have been better pleased in this case , had [he]_99-percy been more just , and not so generous . [I]_0-i know it is not unfrequently said by [young persons]_{1216-young persons} , when [they]_{1216-young persons} think [they]_{1216-young persons} are doing a charitable act , and can only do it by postponing the payment of [their]_{1216-young persons} debts—'Oh , [Mr. So]_{163-mr. so} and so has plenty of business , [he]_99-percy can afford to wait for [his]_99-percy money , but [these poor creatures]_{1349-these poor creatures} are starving . ' Now this is not generosity or charity , but actual injustice , and giving away money which is literally not [their]_{1349-these poor creatures} own . [I]_0-i do not believe [Percy]_99-percy thought so , because [I]_0-i have no doubt [he]_99-percy forgot [Mr. Harris]_{161-mr. harris} , at the time , entirely ; but still , as it was a mere impulse of kindness , it does not please [me]_0-i quite so much as it does [you]_0-i . " "_[0-i] But it was charity , [papa]_3546-papa , was it not ? [You]_0-i have said that whenever [we]_1351-we are kind and good to [the poor]_{4139-the poor} , [God]_85-god is pleased with [us]_1351-we ; and if [Percy]_99-percy did not intend to wrong [Mr. Harris]_{161-mr. harris} , and only thought about relieving [the poor family]_{1353-the poor family} , was it not a good feeling ? " "_[85-god] It was ; but it might have been still worthier . Suppose [Percy]_99-percy had encountered this case of distress when on [his]_99-percy way to order [his]_99-percy engravings , and to enable [him]_99-percy to relieve it as [he]_99-percy wished , [he]_99-percy had given up the purchasing them . That [he]_99-percy found [he]_99-percy could not afford the two , and so gave up [the one mere individual gratification]_{1354-the one mere individual gratification} , to succor [some unhappy fellow - creatures]_{1355-some unhappy fellow - creatures} : would not that have been still worthier ? and by the conquest of [his]_99-percy own inclinations rendered [his]_99-percy charity still more acceptable to [God]_85-god ? Do [you]_1356-you quite understand [me]_0-i , [Emmy]_121-emmy ? " "_[1356-you] [I]_0-i think [I]_0-i do , [dear papa]_{845-dear papa} ; [you]_1356-you mean that , though [God]_85-god is so good , [He]_85-god is pleased whenever [we]_1358-us are charitable , [He]_85-god is still better pleased when to be so gives [us]_1358-us a little pain . " "_[85-god] Very well explained , [[my]_0-i little girl]_{3465-my little girl} ; so [you]_{3465-my little girl} see in this instance , if [Percy]_99-percy had been just before [he]_99-percy was generous , and then to be generous , had denied [himself]_99-percy some pleasure , [his]_99-percy conduct would not have given [us]_1358-us or [himself]_99-percy any pain , but have been quite as worthy of all the praise [you]_{3465-my little girl} could bestow . And now [I]_0-i wonder how [mamma]_3420-mamma could have discovered so exactly what favor [you]_1356-you had to ask ? " "_[3420-mamma] Oh , [mamma]_3420-mamma always knows all [my]_0-i feelings and wishes , almost before [I]_0-i know them [myself]_0-i , though [I]_0-i never can find out how . " "_[3420-mamma] Shall [I]_0-i tell [you]_{3465-my little girl} , [Emmeline]_78-emmeline ? [[Your]_{3465-my little girl} mother]_{3462-your mother} has devoted hours , weeks , months , and years to studying the characters of all [[her]_{3462-your mother} children]_{322-her children} ; so to know [them]_{322-her children} , that [she]_{3462-your mother} may not only be able to guide [you]_{3465-my little girl} in the path of good , but to share all [your]_{3465-my little girl} little joys and sorrows , to heighten the one and guard [you]_{3465-my little girl} from the other . Ought [you]_{3465-my little girl} not to be very grateful to [[your]_{3465-my little girl} Father]_{3470-your father} in [Heaven]_8-heaven for giving [you]_{3465-my little girl} such [a mother]_{3503-a mother} ? " [[His]_{3470-your father} child]_{3707-his child} made no answer in words , but [she]_{3707-his child} slipped from [his]_{3470-your father} knee , and darting to [[her]_{3707-his child} mother]_{345-her mother} , clasped [her]_{3707-his child} little arms tight round [her]_{3707-his child} neck , and hid [her]_{3707-his child} glowing cheeks and tearful eyes in [her]_{3707-his child} bosom . And from that hour , as [she]_{3707-his child} felt [[her]_{3707-his child} mother]_{345-her mother} 's fond return of that passionate embrace , [her]_{3707-his child} love became religion , though [she]_{3707-his child} knew it not . [Her]_{3707-his child} thoughts flew to [[her]_{3707-his child} cousins]_{3955-her cousins} and [many others , who had [no mother]_{4547-no mother} , and to [others whose mothers left [them]_{3707-his child} to [nurses]_4549-nurses and [governesses]_{4550-governesses} , and seemed always to keep [them]_{3707-his child} at a distance]_{4548-others whose mothers left them to nurses and governesses , and seemed always to keep them at a distance}]_{4546-many others , who had no mother , and to others whose mothers left them to nurses and governesses , and seemed always to keep them at a distance} . And [she]_{3707-his child} felt , How could [she]_{3707-his child} thank and love [God]_85-god enough ? Nor was it the mere feeling of the moment , it became part of [her]_{3707-his child} being , for the right moment had been seized to impress it . Meanwhile [the young heir of [Oakwood]_12-oakwood]_{4551-the young heir of oakwood} had passed no very pleasant day . [His]_{4551-the young heir of oakwood} thoughts since [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} 's return had been so pre - occupied , that [his]_{4551-the young heir of oakwood} studies had been unusually neglected ; so much so , as rather to excite the displeasure of [[his]_{4551-the young heir of oakwood} gentle and forbearing preceptor]_{4552-his gentle and forbearing preceptor} . The emotion of the morning had not tended to steady [his]_{4551-the young heir of oakwood} ideas , and a severe reproof and long imposition was the consequence . Not one word did [he]_{4551-the young heir of oakwood} deign to address [Herbert]_102-herbert and [Edward]_76-edward , who , perceiving [him]_{4551-the young heir of oakwood} leave [the Vicarage]_{1281-the vicarage} with every mark of irritation , endeavored , during [their]_{3707-his child} walk [home]_563-home , to soothe [him]_{4551-the young heir of oakwood} . [His]_{4551-the young heir of oakwood} step was even more rapid than that in which [he]_{4551-the young heir of oakwood} had left [home]_563-home , and [he]_{4551-the young heir of oakwood} neither stopped nor spoke till [he]_{4551-the young heir of oakwood} had reached [[[his]_{4551-the young heir of oakwood} father]_{406-his father} 's library]_{4557-his father 's library} , which , fortunately for the indulgence of [his]_{4551-the young heir of oakwood} ire in words , was untenanted . [He]_{4551-the young heir of oakwood} dashed [his]_{4551-the young heir of oakwood} cap from [his]_{4551-the young heir of oakwood} brow , flung [his]_{4551-the young heir of oakwood} books with violence on the ground , and burst forth — "_{[1366-a fool]} Am [I]_0-i not [a fool]_{1366-a fool} — [an idiot]_{1367-an idiot} , thus to torment [myself]_0-i , and for one act of folly , when hundreds of [boys]_3688-boys , at [my]_0-i age , are entirely [[their]_1369-they own masters]_{1370-their own masters} ? do what [they]_1369-they please — spend what [they]_1369-they please — neither questioned nor reproved — and that poem — how many would glory in its authorship , and not care a whit whom it might wound . Why am [I]_0-i such [a fool]_{1366-a fool} , as to reproach [myself]_0-i about it , and then be punished , like [a school - boy]_{1372-a school - boy} , with an imposition to occupy [me]_0-i at [home]_563-home , because [I]_0-i did not choose to learn in the hours of study?—Not choose ! [I]_0-i wish [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} could feel as [I]_0-i have done to - day , nay , all this week ; and [I]_0-i challenge [him]_{128-mr. howard} to bore [his]_{128-mr. howard} head with Greek and Latin ! But why am [I]_0-i so cowed as to feel so ? Why can not [I]_0-i have the same spirit as [others]_756-others — instead of being such [a slave]_{3477-a slave} — such a — " "_[99-percy] [Percy]_99-percy ! " exclaimed [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , who , having sought [him]_99-percy the moment [she]_0-i heard the hall - door close , had heard nearly the whole of [his]_99-percy violent speech , and was almost alarmed at the unusual passion it evinced . [Her]_0-i voice of astonished expostulation checked [his]_99-percy words , but not [his]_99-percy agitation ; [he]_99-percy threw [himself]_99-percy on a chair , leaning [his]_99-percy arms upon the table , buried [his]_99-percy face upon them , while [his]_99-percy whole frame shook . [[His]_99-percy mother]_{330-his mother} sat down by [him]_99-percy , and laying [her]_0-i hand on [his]_99-percy arm , said gently — "_[99-percy] What is it that has so irritated [you]_99-percy , [[my]_0-i dear]_{3485-my dear} [Percy]_99-percy ? What has made [you]_99-percy return [home]_563-home in such a very different mood to that in which [you]_99-percy left it ? Tell [me]_0-i , [[my]_0-i boy]_{868-my boy} . " [Percy]_99-percy tried to keep silence , for [he]_99-percy knew if [he]_99-percy spoke [he]_99-percy should , as [he]_99-percy expressed it , be [a child]_{265-a child} again , and [his]_99-percy pride tried hard for victory . Even [[his]_99-percy father]_{406-his father} or [Herbert]_102-herbert at that moment would have chafed [him]_99-percy into increased anger , but the almost passionate love and reverence which [he]_99-percy felt for [[his]_99-percy mother]_{330-his mother} triumphed over [his]_99-percy wrath , and told [him]_99-percy [he]_99-percy was much more unhappy than angry ; and that [he]_99-percy longed for [her]_{330-his mother} to comfort [him]_99-percy , as [she]_{330-his mother} always had done in [his]_99-percy childish griefs ; and so [he]_99-percy put [his]_99-percy arms round [her]_{330-his mother} , and laid [his]_99-percy head on [her]_{330-his mother} shoulder and said , in a half - choked voice : — "_[0-i] [I]_0-i am very unhappy , [mother]_3430-mother ; [I]_0-i feel as if [I]_0-i had been every thing that was bad , and cruel , and foolish , and so it was a relief to be in a passion ; but [I]_0-i did not mean [you]_3430-mother to hear it , and cause [you]_3430-mother more grief than [I]_0-i have done already . " "_[0-i] [You]_0-i have been very thoughtless , very foolish , and not quite so firm as [we]_1380-we could have wished , [[my]_0-i own dear boy]_{1381-my own dear boy} , but [I]_0-i will not have [you]_0-i accuse [yourself]_0-i of any graver faults , " replied [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , as [she]_{330-his mother} lightly pushed back the clustering hair from [his]_99-percy heated forehead , and the gentle touch of [her]_{330-his mother} cool hand seemed as restorative as [her]_{330-his mother} soothing words ; and [Percy]_99-percy , as [he]_99-percy listened to [her]_{330-his mother} , as [she]_{330-his mother} continued speaking to [him]_99-percy in the same strain for some little time , felt more relieved than five minutes before [he]_99-percy thought possible , and more than ever determined that [he]_99-percy would never act so thoughtlessly ; or , if [he]_99-percy were tempted to do so , never keep it concealed so long again . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's anxious desire with [him]_99-percy was , always to do justice to [his]_99-percy better qualities , at the same time that [she]_{330-his mother} blamed and convinced [him]_99-percy of [his]_99-percy faults . It was a very delicate thing , and very difficult to succeed in , perhaps impossible to minds less peculiarly refined , and hearts less intensely anxious than [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's ; but no difficulty , no failure , had ever deterred [her]_{330-his mother} — and in [Percy]_99-percy [she]_{330-his mother} was already rewarded . [He]_99-percy was of that high , fine spirit , that any unjust harshness would have actually confirmed in error — any unguarded word bring argument on argument , and so , for the mere sake of opposition , cause [him]_99-percy to abide in [his]_99-percy opinions , when the acknowledgment of [his]_99-percy being right in some things , produced the voluntary confession of [his]_99-percy error in others . "_[0-i] And now about these unfortunate verses , [[my]_0-i dear boy]_{1168-my dear boy} ; [I]_0-i am not quite clear as to [their]_1383-their fate , how it happened that [you]_{1168-my dear boy} did not destroy [them]_1383-their directly [you]_{1168-my dear boy} returned [home]_563-home . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i fully intended , and believed [I]_0-i had done so , [mother]_3430-mother , but the whirl of that night seemed to extend to the morning , and [I]_0-i dressed and prepared for [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} in such a hurry ( [I]_0-i had overslept [myself]_0-i , too ) , that though [I]_0-i had quite resolved they should not pollute [my]_0-i pocket - book any longer , [I]_0-i had no time to look over [my]_0-i papers — thought [I]_0-i could not be mistaken in [their]_1383-their outside — burnt those [I]_0-i really wished to keep , and threw those which have caused [me]_0-i all this pain into [my]_0-i portfolio . If [I]_0-i had but been firm enough to have followed [[my]_0-i father]_{3451-my father} 's advice , and left [[my]_0-i companions]_{1387-my companions} before supper!—or , if [I]_0-i did join [them]_{1387-my companions} , had not been so weak , so mad , as to yield to the temptation , but adhered to [my]_0-i principles , notwithstanding [they]_{1387-my companions} might have been laughed at , [I]_0-i might have been spared it all ; but [I]_0-i was so excited , so heated , with a more than sufficient quantity of wine , that [I]_0-i did not know what [I]_0-i was about — not its extent of wrong , at least . " "_[0-i] And [you]_0-i have suffered enough for an evening 's excitement , [[my]_0-i poor boy]_{1388-my poor boy} ; but [I]_0-i am sure [you]_0-i would atone for it , if [you]_0-i could . " "_[0-i] Atone for it , [mother]_3430-mother ! [I]_0-i would give all [I]_0-i possess to cancel that odious poem , and blot it from [Mr. Morton]_{162-mr. morton} 's memory , as from [my]_0-i own . " "_{[162-mr. morton]} And [I]_0-i think [you]_0-i can do both , [Percy]_99-percy . " [He]_99-percy looked at [her]_3430-mother in utter bewilderment . "_{[3430-mother]} Do both , [mother]_3430-mother ! " [he]_99-percy repeated . "_{[3430-mother]} Yes , [[my]_0-i boy]_{868-my boy} ! it is a painful remedy , but it would be an effectual one . Seek [Mr. Morton]_{162-mr. morton} , and tell [him]_{162-mr. morton} [yourself]_0-i [your]_0-i whole story . " [Percy]_99-percy crimsoned to the very temples . "_[0-i] Do not ask [me]_0-i such a thing , [mother]_3430-mother , " [he]_99-percy answered very hurriedly ; "_{[3430-mother]} [I]_0-i can not do it . " "_{[868-my boy]} [You]_{868-my boy} think so at this moment , [[my]_0-i dear boy]_{1168-my dear boy} ; [I]_0-i am not at all astonished that [you]_{868-my boy} should , for it will be very humiliating , and very painful ; and if [I]_0-i could spare [you]_{868-my boy} either the humiliation or the pain , yet produce the same good effects , [I]_0-i need not tell [you]_{868-my boy} how gladly [I]_0-i would ; but [no one]_{3540-no one} can remove the sting of that poem from [Mr. Morton]_{162-mr. morton} 's sensitive feelings but [yourself]_{868-my boy} ; and [I]_0-i am quite sure if [you]_{868-my boy} will allow [yourself]_{868-my boy} a little time for quiet thought , [you]_{868-my boy} will agree with [me]_0-i . " "_{[868-my boy]} But why should [I]_0-i inflict such pain upon [myself]_0-i , granting [I]_0-i deserve it ? " answered [Percy]_99-percy , still much heated ; "_{[162-mr. morton]} when , though [my]_0-i poem is the only one that has unfortunately met [his]_{162-mr. morton} eye , the others were quite as galling , and [[my]_0-i companions]_{1387-my companions} quite as much to blame — why should [I]_0-i be [the sufferer]_{4301-the sufferer} ? " "_[0-i] Because , by many errors , [you]_{868-my boy} have brought it on [yourself]_{868-my boy} . [[Your]_{868-my boy} companions]_{1397-your companions} did indeed act very wrongly , but are [we]_1398-we quite sure that the principles which [[your]_{868-my boy} father]_{3470-your father} and [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} have so carefully impressed upon [you]_{868-my boy} , have been as carefully impressed upon [them]_{1397-your companions} ? and in such a case are not [you]_{868-my boy} the more responsible ? [They]_{1397-your companions} had evidently no inward check to keep [them]_{1397-your companions} from such an amusement ; [you]_{868-my boy} had , for [you]_{868-my boy} have acknowledged that [you]_{868-my boy} kept aloof at first , knowing it was wrong , and only yielded from want of sufficient firmness . Inflict the pain of an avowal upon [yourself]_{868-my boy} , [[my]_0-i boy]_{868-my boy} , and its memory will help [you]_{868-my boy} in future from yielding to too great weakness — and the act prove to [us]_1398-we that , though for a moment led into great error , [you]_{868-my boy} are still as brave and honest as [we]_1398-we believe [you]_{868-my boy} . " [Percy]_99-percy did not reply , but [his]_99-percy countenance denoted an inward struggle , and [[his]_99-percy mother]_{330-his mother} added — "_{[162-mr. morton]} Suppose , as is very likely , [Mr. Morton]_{162-mr. morton} becomes intimate here , how can [you]_{868-my boy} , with [your]_{868-my boy} open , truthful heart , associate with [him]_{162-mr. morton} , with any comfort or confidence even though perfectly satisfied that [we]_1398-we would not betray [you]_{868-my boy} , and that [he]_{162-mr. morton} would never know the truth ? [You]_{868-my boy} may fancy now that [you]_{868-my boy} could , but [I]_0-i know [[my]_0-i Percy]_{3548-my percy} better ; but [I]_0-i must not talk to [you]_{868-my boy} any more , for the dressing - bell rang some minutes ago . Remember , [[my]_0-i dear boy]_{1168-my dear boy} , that [I]_0-i lay no command on [you]_{868-my boy} to seek [Mr. Morton]_{162-mr. morton} ; [I]_0-i have only told [you]_{868-my boy} that which [I]_0-i believe would restore [you]_{868-my boy} to happiness and atone for [your]_{868-my boy} faults , more effectually than any thing else ; but [you]_{868-my boy} are quite at liberty to act as [you]_{868-my boy} think proper . " [She]_0-i left [the room]_{356-the room} as [she]_0-i spoke , but [Percy]_99-percy remained for some few minutes longer in deep thought , and when [he]_99-percy prepared for dinner , and joined [[his]_99-percy family]_{4086-his family} , it was still in the same unbroken silence . [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} took no notice of [him]_99-percy , and two or three times [the little affectionate Emmeline]_78-emmeline felt the tears rising to [her]_78-emmeline eyes , for [she]_78-emmeline could not bear to see [that brother , who was in general the life of [the family group]_{4566-the family group}]_{4565-that brother , who was in general the life of the family group} , so silent and abstracted . [Sliding]_164-sliding after [him]_99-percy , as [he]_99-percy quitted [the room]_{356-the room} after dinner , [she]_78-emmeline took [his]_99-percy hand , and looked coaxingly in [his]_99-percy face , longing , but not daring to tell [him]_99-percy [[her]_78-emmeline father]_{435-her father} 's promise , for fear [he]_99-percy should discover [her]_78-emmeline share in the transaction . "_{[868-my boy]} Well , dear [Emmy]_121-emmy ? " "_{[868-my boy]} Are [you]_121-emmy going to take a walk , Percy?—let [me]_0-i go with [you]_121-emmy . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i do not think [I]_0-i am , love . [I]_0-i may be going to ride . " "_[0-i] To ride ! " repeated [the little girl]_{412-the little girl} ; "_[0-i] will it be worth while ? " "_[0-i] [You]_121-emmy forget , [Emmy]_121-emmy , it is summer now , [I]_0-i have full four hours before prayers ; but do not say any thing about [my]_0-i intentions , [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , for [I]_0-i do not know them [myself]_0-i yet . " [He]_99-percy kissed [her]_{412-the little girl} forehead and left [her]_{412-the little girl} , and a few minutes afterward [she]_{412-the little girl} was summoned to join [[her]_{412-the little girl} mother]_{345-her mother} , [Caroline]_120-caroline , and [Ellen]_113-ellen , in a walk . [They]_4571-they sauntered through [the grounds]_{4495-the grounds} in the direction of [the northern lodge]_{4573-the northern lodge} , which opened on [the road leading to [Dartmoor]_41-dartmoor]_{4574-the road leading to dartmoor} ; when , not a quarter of an hour after [they]_4571-they had left [the house]_{3775-the house} , [they]_4571-they were overtaken by [Percy]_99-percy , riding at what seemed almost a hand gallop , but [he]_99-percy had time as [he]_99-percy passed [[his]_99-percy mother]_{330-his mother} to gracefully doff [his]_99-percy cap , and [her]_{412-the little girl} fond heart throbbed , as [she]_{412-the little girl} caught the expression of [his]_99-percy flushed , but earnest face . [He]_99-percy was out of sight in another moment , followed by [Robert]_102-herbert , who was [[the lads]_{4126-the lads} ' constant attendant]_{4578-the lads ' constant attendant} . Before [they]_4571-they had concluded [their]_4571-they walk , [they]_4571-they met [Mrs. Greville]_{140-mrs. greville} and [Mary]_143-mary , and returned with [them]_4571-they to [the house]_{3775-the house} . [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , who had not seen [Mary]_143-mary for nearly a fortnight , was in an ecstasy of enjoyment , and [Ellen]_113-ellen always felt it a real pleasure quietly to walk by [Mary]_143-mary 's side , and answer the many questions with which [she]_113-ellen always contrived to interest [her]_113-ellen . On entering [the house]_{3775-the house} , [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , [Herbert]_102-herbert , and [Edward]_76-edward joined [them]_4571-they , and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} was somewhat surprised at the even more than ordinary warmth with which [[her]_0-i son]_{326-her son} was greeted by [[her]_0-i friends]_{620-her friends} , and at the flush which stained [his]_102-herbert cheek at [Mrs. Greville]_{140-mrs. greville} 's first words — "_[1403-you] [You]_1403-you were not too much fatigued last Thursday , [I]_0-i hope , [[my]_0-i dear]_{3485-my dear} [Herbert]_102-herbert ? " [she]_0-i inquired , and as [she]_0-i looked at [him]_102-herbert , [her]_0-i eyes glistened in tears . "_{[102-herbert]} Oh , not in the least , " [he]_102-herbert replied instantly , and as if [he]_102-herbert would exceedingly like to change the subject ; but [Mrs. Greville]_{140-mrs. greville} , turning to [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , continued — "_{[102-herbert]} Will [you]_1403-you forgive [me]_0-i , [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , if [I]_0-i confess that [my]_0-i visit this evening was more to inquire after [[your]_1403-you son]_{1405-your son} , than even to see [you]_1403-you . [I]_0-i was so anxious to know that [he]_{1405-your son} had suffered no inconvenience from [his]_{1405-your son} unusual , and [I]_0-i am sure fatiguing , exertion . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i suppose [I]_0-i must not be jealous , as [you]_1403-you are so candid , " replied [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , smiling ; "_[1403-you] but [I]_0-i feel very much inclined to be so , finding that [you]_1403-you are more in [[my]_0-i son]_{1406-my son} 's confidence than [I]_0-i am [myself]_0-i . [I]_0-i know [Herbert]_102-herbert was from [home]_563-home on Thursday , but [I]_0-i was not aware of any particular exertion on [his]_102-herbert part . " "_[0-i] Did [you]_1403-you not know then where [he]_102-herbert went ? " exclaimed [Mary]_143-mary and [[her]_143-mary mother]_{345-her mother} at the same moment ; and [the former]_{313-the former} continued , with unusual eagerness , "_[1403-you] Did [you]_1403-you not know that [he]_102-herbert went to the races , to try and hear something of [Alfred]_158-alfred ? and that by hunting about both the fair and the race - ground — scenes which [I]_0-i know [he]_102-herbert so much dislikes — [he]_102-herbert actually found [him]_102-herbert , and amused [him]_102-herbert so successfully , that [he]_102-herbert kept [him]_102-herbert with [him]_102-herbert all day . [Papa]_160-papa was so engaged that [he]_160-papa had no time to look after [Alfred]_158-alfred , who , from being left entirely to [himself]_102-herbert , might have sought the worst companions ; [I]_0-i can not think what charm [Herbert]_102-herbert used , but [Alfred]_158-alfred was quite contented to be with [him]_102-herbert ; [they]_1408-they dined together , and — " "_{[102-herbert]} [He]_102-herbert brought [me]_0-i what , next to [[my]_0-i boy]_{868-my boy} [himself]_158-alfred , was the greatest consolation [I]_0-i could have , " interposed [Mrs. Greville]_{140-mrs. greville} , [her]_{140-mrs. greville} voice so faltering , that tears almost escaped,—"a_{[102-herbert]} few lines which , [he]_102-herbert assures [me]_0-i , [Alfred]_158-alfred thought of writing [himself]_158-alfred , telling [me]_0-i , [he]_158-alfred could not bear to think [he]_158-alfred had left [home]_563-home without kissing [me]_0-i , and that , though [he]_158-alfred was so happy with [[his]_158-alfred father]_{406-his father} , that [he]_158-alfred could not wish to return [home]_563-home , [he]_158-alfred still loved [me]_0-i and [Mary]_143-mary very , very much , and would continue to love [us]_1413-us , and come and see [us]_1413-us , whenever [he]_158-alfred could . Oh , [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , can [you]_78-emmeline not imagine the relief of such a letter , of hearing of [him]_158-alfred at all ? and it was all through the kindness , the goodness of [[your]_78-emmeline boy]_{1414-your boy} ! " When [Mrs. Greville]_{140-mrs. greville} and [Mary]_143-mary had first begun to speak , [Herbert]_102-herbert tried to retreat ; but [Edward]_76-edward placing [himself]_76-edward against the door , so that to open it was impossible , and [Caroline]_120-caroline and [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , both at once catching hold of [him]_76-edward , to keep [him]_76-edward prisoner , egress was not to be thought of ; so , in laughing despair , [he]_76-edward broke from [[his]_76-edward sisters]_{4486-his sisters} , flung [himself]_76-edward on [his]_76-edward usual seat , [[his]_76-edward mother]_{330-his mother} 's stool , and almost hid [himself]_76-edward in [her]_{330-his mother} dress . "_{[78-emmeline]} It must have been a relief , indeed , " answered [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} ; "_{[78-emmeline]} and rejoiced am [I]_0-i that [my]_0-i quiet [Herbert]_102-herbert thought of such a plan . Look up , [Master]_1415-master Shamefaced , and tell [us]_1416-us the reason of [your]_1415-master most extraordinary mystery on this occasion . Why did [you]_1415-master so carefully conceal [your]_1415-master intentions from [[your]_1415-master mother]_{3462-your mother} and [myself]_0-i ? " "_{[1415-master]} Because , [papa]_3546-papa , [I]_0-i feared [you]_3546-papa might not approve of [them]_1419-them ; [I]_0-i hardly dared think about it [myself]_0-i , for it seemed as if [I]_0-i were doing actually wrong in disregarding [your]_1415-master principles , for only the chance of effecting good . [I]_0-i know , if [I]_0-i had mentioned [my]_0-i wish to find [Alfred]_158-alfred , or hear something about [him]_158-alfred , [you]_3546-papa would not have refused [my]_0-i going ; but then [mamma]_80-mamma must have known it , and [she]_80-mamma would have been anxious and uncomfortable , if [I]_0-i had not appeared the very moment [I]_0-i had named ; would [you]_3546-papa not ? " [he]_1415-master continued , looking up in [her]_3546-papa face with that expression of affection , which [very few]_{4587-very few} , even [comparative strangers]_{4588-comparative strangers} , had power to remit . "_[3546-papa] [I]_0-i should indeed , [[my]_0-i dear boy]_{1168-my dear boy} ; [I]_0-i fear [I]_0-i should have condemned [your]_3546-papa scheme as a very wild one , and really am glad [you]_3546-papa thought so much of [my]_0-i comfort , as not to tell [me]_0-i more than [you]_3546-papa did . So [I]_0-i must not even be jealous , [Jessie]_141-jessie , but rather propose a vote of thanks to [you]_3546-papa and [Mary]_143-mary for solving the mystery . [I]_0-i do not think [Herbert]_102-herbert ever excited so much curiosity and speculation , in [his]_102-herbert life , before . " The entrance of [Mr. Grahame]_{148-mr. grahame} changed the current of the conversation , greatly to [Herbert]_102-herbert 's relief , for [he]_102-herbert did not at all like being thus brought forward . Austere as [Grahame]_{148-mr. grahame} was at [home]_563-home , [he]_{148-mr. grahame} was always welcomed with pleasure by [the young Hamiltons , who never could understand why [Annie]_152-annie and [Cecil]_159-cecil]_{4590-the young hamiltons , who never could understand why annie and cecil} should so fear [him]_{148-mr. grahame} . That something unusual had annoyed [him]_{148-mr. grahame} , [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} perceived at the first glance ; but [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} took no notice , for [Grahame]_{148-mr. grahame} seemed to find relief in talking gayly to [the young people]_{4591-the young people} . "_{[102-herbert]} And where is [[my]_0-i friend]_{1095-my friend} [Percy]_99-percy ? " [he]_{148-mr. grahame} inquired , as [he]_{148-mr. grahame} joined [the happy group]_{3885-the happy group} at tea , and [Percy]_99-percy was still absent . [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} repeated the question in some surprise ; but [[his]_{148-mr. grahame} wife]_{521-his wife} replying that [he]_{148-mr. grahame} had gone to ride , and might not be back yet , the subject dropped . After tea , [Mrs. Greville]_{140-mrs. greville} and [Mary]_143-mary , attended by [Herbert]_102-herbert and [Edward]_76-edward , returned to [the Manor]_{4359-the manor} ; and [the little girls]_{4595-the little girls} went to finish some business for the next day , and amuse [themselves]_{4595-the little girls} as [they]_{4595-the little girls} liked . [Grahame]_{148-mr. grahame} remained alone with [[his]_{148-mr. grahame} friends]_{644-his friends} , who at length drew from [him]_{148-mr. grahame} the cause of [his]_{148-mr. grahame} solicitude . [He]_{148-mr. grahame} had that morning discovered , that , notwithstanding [his]_{148-mr. grahame} positive commands , [Cecil]_159-cecil had gone to [the prohibited places of amusement]_{4597-the prohibited places of amusement} . [[His]_{148-mr. grahame} wife]_{521-his wife} had prevaricated when [he]_{148-mr. grahame} questioned [her]_{521-his wife} ; at one moment almost denying [her]_{521-his wife} connivance at [the boy]_{290-the boy} 's disobedience , at another unconsciously acknowledging it , by insisting that there was no harm in it ; and if [Grahame]_{148-mr. grahame} would persist in so interfering with [[his]_{148-mr. grahame} children]_{4082-his children} 's amusements , [he]_{148-mr. grahame} must expect to be disobeyed . If such were [[his]_{148-mr. grahame} home]_{4084-his home} , where was [he]_{148-mr. grahame} to look for truth , honor , and affection ? What would be [[his]_{148-mr. grahame} son]_{514-his son} 's after career , if such were the lessons of [his]_{148-mr. grahame} childhood ? [He]_{148-mr. grahame} had punished [him]_{148-mr. grahame} severely , but there was little hope of its producing any good effect , when [[his]_{148-mr. grahame} wife]_{521-his wife} was yet more to blame than [[his]_{148-mr. grahame} child]_{3707-his child} . It would only alienate [the boy]_{290-the boy} 's affections still more from [him]_{148-mr. grahame} . Yet what could [he]_{148-mr. grahame} do ? Could [he]_{148-mr. grahame} let such disobedience and untruthfulness — for [Cecil]_159-cecil had denied [his]_{148-mr. grahame} having been at [the races]_{4606-the races} — pass unnoticed ? [He]_{148-mr. grahame} had shut [himself]_{148-mr. grahame} up in [[his]_{148-mr. grahame} library]_{4607-his library} the remainder of the day ; but at length , unable to bear [his]_{148-mr. grahame} own thoughts , had walked over to [Oakwood]_12-oakwood , feeling sure , if peace were to be found , [he]_{148-mr. grahame} should find it [there]_320-there . [Their]_4609-their sympathy it was easy for [Mr.]_4610-mr. and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} to give — for [they]_4609-their felt it sincerely — but to advise was both delicate and difficult . To interfere in [a household]_{4611-a household} is not the part even of [the most intimate friends]_{4612-the most intimate friends} . And when [Lady Helen]_{127-lady helen} [herself]_{127-lady helen} encouraged [the boy]_{290-the boy} in [his]_{290-the boy} disobedience , and showed [him]_{290-the boy} an example of equivocation , what could be said ? [Grahame]_{127-lady helen} could not bear the idea of [a public school for [a boy scarcely eleven]_{4615-a boy scarcely eleven}]_{4614-a public school for a boy scarcely eleven} , and whose [home]_563-home - influence was so injurious , and [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} could not advise it . [He]_{81-mrs. hamilton} tried , therefore , merely to raise the depressed spirits of [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} friend]_{4617-his friend} , bringing forward many instances , when even the best training failed ; and others where the faults of childhood were subdued by circumstances , and became [fair promising youth]_{4618-fair promising youth} . [Grahame]_{127-lady helen} shook [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} head despondingly . "_{[102-herbert]} [You]_1422-you can scarcely be [a fit judge of [my]_0-i trial]_{1423-a fit judge of my trial} , [Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , " [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} said ; "_{[102-herbert]} [you]_1422-you have known nothing but the blessing of hand - in - hand companionship , in the training of [[your]_1422-you children]_{3504-your children} , as in every thing else . There must be unity between [father]_741-father and [mother]_3430-mother , or there is little hope of joy in [[their]_1427-their offspring]_{1428-their offspring} for either ; were [[my]_0-i wife]_{1429-my wife} only in some things like [yours]_1422-you — but [I]_0-i see [I]_0-i must not speak so , " [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} added hurriedly , as [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} met a glance of reproach from [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , and [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} turned to address [the two lads]_{3880-the two lads} , who at that instant entered from [their]_{3880-the two lads} walk . The bell for prayers rung soon afterward , and [Grahame]_{127-lady helen} rose to say good night . "_[0-i] Nay , stay with [us]_1430-us , " said [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , earnestly . "_[0-i] Why should the call for devotion be the signal for separation ? join [us]_1430-us , [Grahame]_{127-lady helen} . It is not the first time by very many that [we]_1430-us have prayed together . " [Grahame]_{127-lady helen} yielded without an instant 's hesitation . Still [Percy]_99-percy had not returned , and [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} mother]_{330-his mother} became dreadfully anxious . [[Her]_{330-his mother} husband]_{340-her husband} , at [her]_{330-his mother} request , waited a quarter of an hour , but reluctantly ; for [he]_{340-her husband} was more particular that [every member of [[his]_{340-her husband} household]_{4623-his household}]_{4622-every member of his household} should assemble at the stated hour of prayer , than in any other point relating to [his]_{340-her husband} establishment . Scarcely , however , had the first word been said , when [Percy]_99-percy and [Robert]_102-herbert entered , and [the former , with a very rapid , but noiseless step]_{4624-the former , with a very rapid , but noiseless step} , traversed [the large room]_{4625-the large room} , and kneeled in [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} accustomed place . In vain did [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} try to keep [her]_{330-his mother} thoughts fixed on the service . Had [he]_{340-her husband} really been to [Mr. Morton]_{162-mr. morton} , and if [he]_{340-her husband} had , how had [he]_{340-her husband} been received ? had [his]_{340-her husband} fine spirit been soothed or irritated ? and a thousand other nameless but natural fears thronged [her]_{330-his mother} heart . But one look on [[her]_{330-his mother} son]_{326-her son} as [he]_{326-her son} rose reassured [her]_{330-his mother} ; [his]_{326-her son} cheek was flushed with rapid riding , but [his]_{326-her son} dark eye sparkled , and [he]_{326-her son} looked more bright and joyous than [he]_{326-her son} had done for weeks . [He]_{326-her son} advanced without hesitation to [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} the moment [the domestics]_{4627-the domestics} had quitted [the library]_{3958-the library} and said , eagerly , but still respectfully — "_[1431-you] Will [you]_1431-you , too , forgive [me]_0-i , [[my]_0-i dear father]_{1432-my dear father} ? [Mr. Morton]_{162-mr. morton} knows the whole truth , and has not only pardoned [my]_0-i cruel folly , but assured [me]_0-i , that [I]_0-i have more than atoned for the pain [my]_0-i hateful verses inflicted ; that [he]_{162-mr. morton} will laugh at them [himself]_{162-mr. morton} and declare [he]_{162-mr. morton} knows [[their]_1433-them author]_{4510-their author} as a most particular friend — which [he]_{162-mr. morton} hopes [you]_1435-you will permit [me]_0-i to become — whenever [he]_{162-mr. morton} has the opportunity ; for that such notice of [them]_1433-them will be the surest way to consign [them]_1433-them to oblivion . [I]_0-i have endured so much pain the last few weeks that [I]_0-i do not think [I]_0-i shall be so thoughtless and weak in a hurry again . Will [you]_1435-you try [me]_0-i once more ? " Astonished and touched , far more than [he]_3546-papa was ever in the habit of allowing [himself]_3546-papa to feel , much less to display , [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had some difficulty in replying ; but [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} words were even more than satisfactory to [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} son]_{514-his son} 's eager heart , for [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} answered earnestly — "_[1435-you] Pray , do not give [me]_0-i any praise for [my]_0-i courage , [papa]_3546-papa ; [I]_0-i am quite sure , if it had not been for [mamma]_3420-mamma 's suggestion , [I]_0-i never could have done it . It might have crossed [my]_0-i mind , but [I]_0-i fear pride would not have permitted [me]_0-i to listen to it ; but when [mamma]_80-mamma put the case before [me]_0-i as [she]_80-mamma did , [I]_0-i could not prevent [my]_0-i conscience from feeling the truth of all [she]_80-mamma said , and if [I]_0-i had not followed [her]_80-mamma advice , [I]_0-i should have been more miserable still . [Dearest mother]_{1229-dearest mother} , " [he]_4630-he continued , as [he]_4630-he turned with even more than [his]_4630-he usual affection to receive [her]_{1229-dearest mother} nightly embrace , "_{[1229-dearest mother]} [you]_{1229-dearest mother} have made [me]_0-i so happy ! how can [I]_0-i thank [you]_{1229-dearest mother} ? " If [she]_{1229-dearest mother} made [him]_4630-he happy , [he]_4630-he certainly had returned the blessing , for [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had seldom felt more exquisite pleasure than [she]_{1229-dearest mother} did at that moment ; and [her]_{1229-dearest mother} little Emmeline , though [she]_{1229-dearest mother} could not quite understand all [[her]_{1229-dearest mother} mother]_{345-her mother} 's feelings , felt , in [her]_{1229-dearest mother} way , almost as glad . "_{[1229-dearest mother]} Well , [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} will not [[your]_{81-mrs. hamilton} son]_{1405-your son} 's words confirm [mine]_{81-mrs. hamilton} ? " said [Mr. Grahame]_{148-mr. grahame} trying to speak cheerfully , when [the young party]_{3941-the young party} had retired , and [he]_{148-mr. grahame} was again alone with [[his]_{148-mr. grahame} friends]_{644-his friends} . "_{[81-mrs. hamilton]} Can [he]_{1405-your son} go far wrong with such [a friend]_{1440-a friend} ? " "_{[1405-your son]} Indeed , [he]_{1405-your son} has done [me]_0-i more than justice , and [himself]_{1405-your son} not enough . When [I]_0-i left [him]_{1405-your son} , [I]_0-i had scarcely a hope that [my]_0-i very disagreeable advice would be followed ; besides , [Mr. Grahame]_{148-mr. grahame} , " [she]_0-i added , more playfully , "_{[148-mr. grahame]} it was not from disagreeing with [you]_{148-mr. grahame} on [a mother]_{3503-a mother} 's influence that [my]_0-i look reproached [you]_{148-mr. grahame} , [you]_{148-mr. grahame} know well enough what it meant ; and [I]_0-i still say , that even now , if [you]_{148-mr. grahame} would but be less reserved and stern , would but see [Helen]_{127-lady helen} 's many better qualities , as clearly as [you]_{148-mr. grahame} do [her]_{127-lady helen} faults , [you]_{148-mr. grahame} might still win [her]_{127-lady helen} to [your]_{148-mr. grahame} will even with regard to [[your]_{148-mr. grahame} children]_{3504-your children} . " "_{[81-mrs. hamilton]} Not now , [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , it is too late ; but [you]_{81-mrs. hamilton} have no idea how [your]_{81-mrs. hamilton} look transported [me]_0-i back to years past , " [he]_4634-he added , evidently resolved to change the subject , "_{[81-mrs. hamilton]} when [I]_0-i actually almost feared to approach [you]_{81-mrs. hamilton} . Do [you]_{81-mrs. hamilton} remember , [Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , when [I]_0-i told [you]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , if [Miss Manvers]_91-eleanor had a fault , [she]_91-eleanor was too cold ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i shall not easily forget the incidents of that night , " replied [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , with a fond glance toward [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} wife]_{521-his wife} . "_{[165-poor eleanor]} [Poor Eleanor]_{165-poor eleanor} , when [her]_{165-poor eleanor} conduct that evening fell under [my]_0-i lash , [I]_0-i little thought [[her]_{165-poor eleanor} orphan children]_{1443-her orphan children} would be living under [my]_0-i roof , and to [me]_0-i almost like [my]_0-i own . " "_{[165-poor eleanor]} And one [her]_{165-poor eleanor} very image , " observed [Grahame]_{148-mr. grahame} . "_{[165-poor eleanor]} Does either resemble [her]_{165-poor eleanor} in mind or disposition ? " "_[76-edward] [Edward]_76-edward almost as much in mind as in personal beauty , " replied [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} ; "_[76-edward] But not in all points of [his]_76-edward disposition . [Ellen]_113-ellen does not resemble [[her]_113-ellen poor mother]_{1444-her poor mother} in any thing . " "_[113-ellen] Is [she]_113-ellen like [[her]_113-ellen father]_{435-her father} ? " "_{[435-her father]} [I]_0-i did not know [him]_{435-her father} sufficiently to judge , but [I]_0-i fancy not.—In fact , [I]_0-i hardly yet understand [Ellen]_113-ellen . " "_[113-ellen] Indeed ! " answered [Grahame]_{148-mr. grahame} , smiling ; "_[0-i] is [your]_0-i penetrative genius here at fault ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i fear it is , " [she]_0-i answered , in the same tone ; "_[0-i] [Ellen]_113-ellen is [[my]_0-i youngest child]_{1446-my youngest child} — and that which has been [my]_0-i successful help five times , has become blunted at the sixth , and refuses to aid [me]_0-i further . " "_{[148-mr. grahame]} [Grahame]_{148-mr. grahame} , do not heed [her]_113-ellen , " interposed [[her]_0-i husband]_{340-her husband} , laughing ; "_[113-ellen] [she]_113-ellen fancies there is something extraordinary about [Ellen]_113-ellen , which [she]_113-ellen can not comprehend ; and [I]_0-i feel certain that imagination has been playing with [[my]_0-i wife]_{1429-my wife} 's sober judgment , and that [[our]_1448-our little niece]_{1449-our little niece} is [a very ordinary child]_{1450-a very ordinary child} , only rather more sad and quiet than is usual at [her]_{1449-our little niece} age , which may be easily accounted for by [her]_{1449-our little niece} early trials and constant ill - health . So [I]_0-i solve what [[my]_0-i wife]_{1429-my wife} pronounces a mystery . [She]_113-ellen has so few fancies , however , that [I]_0-i do not quarrel with this , for it has all the charm of novelty . " There were more than usual subjects of thought on the minds of [all the young inmates of [Oakwood]_12-oakwood]_{4637-all the young inmates of oakwood} , before [they]_{4637-all the young inmates of oakwood} went to sleep that night . [Percy]_99-percy 's , [Herbert]_102-herbert 's , and [Emmeline]_78-emmeline 's were all peculiarly happy and peaceful . [Caroline]_120-caroline 's were not so agreeable . Praise lavished on [others]_756-others never gave [her]_113-ellen pleasure : the question would always come , Why did [she]_113-ellen not receive it too ? It was very hard that [she]_113-ellen so seldom received it , and self - love was always ready to accuse [[her]_113-ellen parents]_{3918-her parents} of some degree of partiality rather than [herself]_113-ellen of unworthiness . But these thoughts only came when [she]_113-ellen was alone ; the moment [she]_113-ellen heard [[her]_113-ellen father]_{435-her father} 's voice , or met [[her]_113-ellen mother]_{345-her mother} 's smile , [they]_{3918-her parents} fled from [her]_113-ellen till [they]_{3918-her parents} were pertinaciously recalled . [Ellen]_113-ellen thought mostly of [Herbert]_102-herbert . [She]_113-ellen had been as curious as [the rest]_{4642-the rest} to know where [he]_102-herbert had been , though [she]_113-ellen had not said so much about it . But that it was for some good , kind deed [she]_113-ellen had never doubted . "_[113-ellen] No wonder [Mary]_143-mary loves [him]_1452-he so much , " [she]_113-ellen said internally ; "_[143-mary] but how can [I]_0-i ever hope [he]_1452-he will love [one]_1058-one so often naughty as [I]_0-i am . If [Edward]_76-edward be so much superior , what must [Herbert]_102-herbert be ? How [I]_0-i wish [I]_0-i were [[his]_1452-he sister]_{561-his sister} , and then [he]_1452-he would love [me]_0-i , deserving or not . " That poor [Ellen]_113-ellen was often thought , as [she]_113-ellen expressed it , "_[1452-he] naughty " was true ; and it was this mingling of many apparent faults , especially disregard to [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} 's commands , and but too often endeavor to conceal and equivocate , instead of an open confession , with a sorrow and repentance too deep and painful for [her]_113-ellen years , that so fairly bewildered [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , and really , as [she]_113-ellen had told [Mr. Grahame]_{148-mr. grahame} , prevented [her]_113-ellen from understanding [Ellen]_113-ellen . If [she]_113-ellen could but have known of that unfortunate promise , and the strong hold it had taken of [the child]_{346-the child} 's vivid imagination ; that by dwelling on it [she]_113-ellen had actually made [herself]_113-ellen believe that , by always shielding [Edward]_76-edward from blame or punishment , [she]_113-ellen was obeying and making [[her]_113-ellen mother]_{345-her mother} love [her]_113-ellen from Heaven , and so , still more deepening [[her]_113-ellen father]_{435-her father} 's affection for [her]_113-ellen ; and that this idea enabled [her]_113-ellen to bear the suffering of that most painful of all punishments , [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} 's displeasure , [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} would have left no means untried to remove such a mistaken impression , and no doubt would have succeeded ; but [she]_113-ellen had not the slightest conception of the real origin of [[her]_113-ellen niece]_{372-her niece} 's incomprehensible contradictions . [She]_113-ellen had believed and hoped the influences of [her]_113-ellen earlier life would disappear before the quiet , wholesome routine of the present , and often and often [she]_113-ellen found [herself]_113-ellen fearing that it could not be only maternal neglect , but actual disposition , at fault . When convinced of the great importance of truth , [Ellen]_113-ellen frequently , instead of attempting to conceal what [Edward]_76-edward might have heedlessly done , actually took it upon [herself]_113-ellen , not being able to define that in such self - sacrifice [she]_113-ellen was also forfeiting truth ; or , if [she]_113-ellen did believe so , it was also clear , that to tell the real truth to [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} and betray [Edward]_76-edward , was breaking [her]_113-ellen solemn promise to [[her]_113-ellen mother]_{345-her mother} ; and , either way , [she]_113-ellen was doing wrong . To describe or define the chaos in [the poor child]_{399-the poor child} 's mind , from these contending feelings , would be almost as impossible to [us]_4652-us as it was to [herself]_113-ellen . [She]_113-ellen only knew that [she]_113-ellen was often naughty when [she]_113-ellen most wished to be good ; that [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} must think [she]_113-ellen did not care for [her]_113-ellen displeasure ; when it made [her]_113-ellen so very unhappy , that [she]_113-ellen was scarcely ever in disgrace without being ill . That [she]_113-ellen never could feel happy , for even when "_{[102-herbert]} good " there always seemed a weight hanging over [her]_113-ellen , and therefore [she]_113-ellen must be different to , and worse than any body else . Little do [mere superficial observers]_{3682-mere superficial observers} know the capabilities for joy or suffering in [a young child]_{387-a young child} 's heart , the exquisitely tender germ which is committed to [us]_4652-us ; the awful responsibility which lies in the hands of [adults]_4656-adults , for the joy or grief , good or evil , as the portion of [a child]_{265-a child} ! Happily for [Ellen]_113-ellen , [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's love was as inexhaustible as [her]_113-ellen patience , or [[her]_113-ellen niece]_{372-her niece} might have been still more unhappy , for [few]_4659-few would have so understood and practiced the delicate and difficult task of constantly being called upon to correct , and yet to love . [[Our]_4652-us young readers]_{4660-our young readers} must not think [Edward]_76-edward very cowardly and very dishonorable , always to let [[his]_76-edward sister]_{561-his sister} bear the penalty of [his]_76-edward faults . [He]_76-edward had never been taught , and therefore could not understand , the imperative necessity , when guilty of heedlessness or disobedience , boldly to step forward , whether [others]_756-others were injured or not , and avow it . [He]_76-edward did not understand how not to say any thing about it , unless [he]_76-edward was asked , could be a want of truth . It was also [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's constant custom never to mention to [the members of [[her]_113-ellen family]_{800-her family} , [who might have been absent at the time]_{4665-who might have been absent at the time} , any thing of fault or disgrace which had fallen under [her]_113-ellen own immediate jurisdiction , unless [their]_{4665-who might have been absent at the time} nature absolutely demanded it]_{4663-the members of her family , who might have been absent at the time , any thing of fault or disgrace which had fallen under her own immediate jurisdiction , unless their nature absolutely demanded it} ; and the absence of [the young offenders from the happy family circle]_{4666-the young offenders from the happy family circle} , either at meals or hours of recreation , when such an unusual proceeding was necessary , in consequence , never excited any remark , but a very general feeling of regret . [Edward]_76-edward , therefore , scarcely ever heard the actual cause of [[his]_76-edward sister]_{561-his sister} 's disgrace , and sometimes did not even know [she]_{561-his sister} had incurred it . [He]_76-edward did , indeed , when [she]_{561-his sister} was sometimes absent , feel very uncomfortable ; but [his]_76-edward immovable awe of [[his]_76-edward really indulgent uncle]_{4668-his really indulgent uncle} ( an impression of [[his]_76-edward mother]_{330-his mother} 's creating , quite as strong as [Ellen]_113-ellen 's idea of the sanctity of [her]_113-ellen promise ) caused [him]_76-edward to adopt every means of removing the uncomfortable consciousness that [he]_76-edward was far more to blame than [Ellen]_113-ellen , but [the right one]_{4670-the right one} , a fearless inquiry as to why [she]_113-ellen was punished , and an open avowal that it was [he]_76-edward who had either led [her]_113-ellen into error , or was [the real offender]_{4671-the real offender} . [His]_76-edward thoughts on [Percy]_99-percy 's conduct were very different to those of [[his]_76-edward cousins]_{4672-his cousins} . "_[1452-he] No ! " [he]_76-edward exclaimed , almost aloud , in the energy of [his]_76-edward feelings , "_[1452-he] no ! [I]_0-i would have suffered any thing , every thing , rather than have done this — seek [Mr. Morton]_{162-mr. morton} , humble [myself]_0-i by avowing the truth to [him]_{162-mr. morton} , and ask [his]_{162-mr. morton} pardon for a mere clever joke , that [Percy]_99-percy ought to have been proud of , instead of regretting ! If [I]_0-i did not know [him]_99-percy well , [I]_0-i should believe [him]_99-percy [a craven milk - and - water lad]_{1455-a craven milk - and - water lad} , without a particle of the right spirit within [him]_99-percy . What could have possessed [[him?—my]_99-percy [uncle]_3425-uncle]_{1456-him?—my uncle} 's look must have frightened [him]_99-percy out of [his]_99-percy sober senses : to be sure it was very terrible ; [poor mamma]_{1458-poor mamma} was , indeed , right as to [his]_99-percy unbending sternness ; but [I]_0-i think [I]_0-i could have dared even [his]_99-percy anger , rather than beg [Mr. Morton]_{162-mr. morton} 's pardon , when there really was no necessity . " And sleep overtook [him]_99-percy , with the firm conviction resting on [his]_99-percy mind , that though in some things [Percy]_99-percy might be [his]_99-percy equal , yet in manliness and spirit , [he]_99-percy ( [Edward]_76-edward ) was decidedly the superior . It was the Christmas vacation — always a happy season in [the halls of [Oakwood]_12-oakwood]_{4673-the halls of oakwood} . The previous year , the general juvenile party with which [Mr.]_4674-mr. and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} indulged [[their]_4675-their children]_{3513-their children} on the first or sixth of January , as circumstances permitted , had not taken place on account of [Mrs. Fortescue]_{73-mrs. fortescue} 's death , and was therefore this year anticipated with even more than usual joy . [Caroline]_120-caroline and [Emmeline]_78-emmeline were never permitted to go to indiscriminate parties . Two or three , really confined to [children]_{3553-children} , [[their]_{3553-children} mother]_{488-their mother} allowed [their]_{3553-children} joining , with [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} , in the course of the year , but [their]_{3553-children} own ball was always considered the acme of enjoyment , especially now that [Caroline]_120-caroline began to fancy [herself]_120-caroline very much too old for only [children]_{3553-children} 's parties . [Annie]_152-annie went almost every where with [Lady Helen]_{127-lady helen} , and quite laughed at the idea of joining [children]_{3553-children} ; and [Caroline]_120-caroline this year began to wish most intensely that [[her]_120-caroline mother]_{345-her mother} would take [her]_120-caroline out to grown - up parties too , and lost all relish for the pleasant parties [she]_120-caroline had enjoyed . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} never obliged [her]_120-caroline to go out with [Emmeline]_78-emmeline and [Ellen]_113-ellen , if [she]_120-caroline really did not wish it ; but [Caroline]_120-caroline could not get any farther in considering [herself]_120-caroline [a woman]_{769-a woman} . The week before Christmas , [Mr.]_4683-mr. and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} did not allow to be all holiday and amusement . The season was to [their]_4684-they feelings of religion one of earnest , intense thankfulness , and [they]_4684-they wished to make it equally so to [[their]_4684-they children]_{3513-their children} — a source of joy and hope indeed , but the joy and hope of Heaven , not the mere amusements and pleasures of [earth]_3497-earth . [They]_4684-they had thought long and tried earnestly to make [[their]_4684-they children]_{3513-their children} so to love serious things , as never to associate [them]_{3513-their children} with gloom or sadness — never to fancy that to be truly and spiritually religious demanded a relinquishment of the joys and pleasures and innocent happiness of [their]_{3513-their children} age , and admirably had [they]_4684-they succeeded . Christmas week was always anticipated with quiet gladness , for [they]_4684-they were still more with [[their]_4684-they father]_{965-their father} and [mother]_3430-mother ; and the few serious readings and lessons [they]_4684-they had , were from and with [them]_4684-they alone ; [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} 's time was then entirely [her]_{112-miss harcourt} own . As soon as Christmas - day was passed , [the young party]_{3941-the young party} , with the sole exception of two hours ' work by [themselves]_{3941-the young party} , in the morning or some part of the day if the mornings were wanted—(for [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} never permitted all duty to be suspended , believing — and [[her]_3430-mother children]_{322-her children} had experienced the wisdom of the belief — that pleasure and recreation were infinitely more enjoyable after the performance of some duty , however brief and easy , than had [they]_4684-they nothing to do but to amuse [themselves]_4684-they all day)—were allowed to be just as free , happy , and noisy as [they]_4684-they pleased ; and the exuberance of [their]_4684-they innocent happiness would have been envied by many , who might have thought the quiet routine of [their]_4684-they usual life irksome indeed . [Edward Fortescue]_166-edward was looking forward with the greatest delight to becoming [a midshipman]_{4692-a midshipman} in the course of the following year . [He]_166-edward hoped , indeed , it would be in a very few months ; but [[his]_166-edward uncle]_{443-his uncle} and [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} had only told [him]_166-edward to work on as hard as [he]_166-edward could , for the summons might come for [him]_166-edward to join at a very short notice , and it would be very dreadful , if the commission should be refused because [[his]_166-edward guardians]_{4694-his guardians} did not think [him]_166-edward forward enough in [his]_166-edward various studies to leave [them]_{4694-his guardians} . [They]_{4694-his guardians} had looked very mischievous when [they]_{4694-his guardians} had told [him]_166-edward this , and [Edward]_166-edward had enjoyed the joke , and resolved [they]_{4694-his guardians} should not have any such amusement . [He]_166-edward would go to [sea]_579-sea , if [he]_166-edward worked night and day for the privilege ; and [he]_166-edward really did so well , that [[his]_166-edward uncle]_{443-his uncle} gave [him]_166-edward great praise , which was as unexpected and delightful as [his]_166-edward anger was terrible . It happened that on the morning after Christmas - day , [Edward]_166-edward and [Ellen]_113-ellen were quite alone in [the school room]_{4697-the school room} ; [the former]_{313-the former} was in one of [his]_{313-the former} most impatient moods , for at [his]_{313-the former} own request , [[his]_166-edward uncle]_{443-his uncle} was to examine [him]_{313-the former} in [a favorite study]_{4700-a favorite study} , and one of the necessary books was wanting . [He]_{313-the former} had read it a few evenings previous , but something had crossed [him]_{313-the former} , and in a desperate passion [he]_{313-the former} had flung the book from [him]_{313-the former} , and where it fell [he]_{313-the former} neither knew nor cared . [Caroline]_120-caroline and [Emmeline]_78-emmeline had already gone on an expedition to [some poor people]_{4701-some poor people} , with [[their]_{4701-some poor people} mother]_{488-their mother} ; [Ellen]_113-ellen had asked and received permission to put some seeds in [[her]_113-ellen little garden]_{4703-her little garden} , [Percy]_99-percy having kindly promised to show [her]_113-ellen where , and to do some harder work in it for [her]_113-ellen . [He]_{313-the former} was , however , still engaged with [[his]_{313-the former} father]_{406-his father} , and would be , [he]_{313-the former} had told [her]_113-ellen , for perhaps an hour longer , but [he]_{313-the former} would be sure to come to [her]_113-ellen then ; and , to employ the interval , [she]_113-ellen had intended to work hard at a purse [she]_113-ellen was making for [him]_{313-the former} . [Edward]_166-edward , however , entirely engrossed [her]_113-ellen , and for nearly half an hour [they]_1459-we hunted in every nook and corner of [the room]_{356-the room} , at length — "_[0-i] [I]_0-i see it ! [I]_0-i see it ! [Edward]_166-edward , " [Ellen]_113-ellen exclaimed , adding , however , in a very desponding tone , "_[166-edward] but what shall [we]_1459-we do ? [we]_1459-we can not get it . " "_[1459-we] Why not ? " answered [Edward]_166-edward , impatiently ; "_[166-edward] where is it , [Ellen]_113-ellen ? " "_[113-ellen] Behind that stand of flowers , " [she]_113-ellen replied , pointing to one that filled a corner of [the room]_{356-the room} and which , though it was winter , was filled with some beautiful flowering geraniums of all colors , and some few rare myrtles in full flower . "_[113-ellen] There ! " said [Edward]_166-edward joyfully ; "_[113-ellen] Oh , that is very easily moved — [I]_0-i shall get it in a minute . " "_[0-i] But [you]_166-edward know [aunt Emmeline]_78-emmeline desired [us]_1459-we not to touch it , " implored [Ellen]_113-ellen , clinging to [his]_166-edward arm ; "_{[78-emmeline]} and the flowers are almost all [Caroline]_120-caroline 's . [Dear Edward]_76-edward — pray do not move it . " "_[76-edward] Stuff and nonsense , [Ellen]_113-ellen ! How is [aunt]_1460-aunt to know any thing about it ? and what do [I]_0-i care about the flowers being [Caroline]_120-caroline 's ; they may be whose [they]_1461-they like , but [they]_1461-they shall not prevent [my]_0-i getting [my]_0-i book . " "_[1461-they] But it will be disobeying [aunt]_1460-aunt . [Edward]_76-edward — pray , pray , do n't ; [you]_76-edward know how displeased [she]_1460-aunt was with [Emmeline]_78-emmeline last week for a much more trifling disobedience than this will be . And if any thing should happen to the flowers , [Caroline]_120-caroline will be so angry . " "_{[120-caroline]} And what do [I]_0-i care for [Caroline]_120-caroline 's anger , " retorted [Edward]_76-edward impatiently ; "_[0-i] [[My]_0-i uncle]_{1463-my uncle} 's indeed is something to care about , and if [I]_0-i do n't get [my]_0-i book and go to [him]_{1463-my uncle} directly , [I]_0-i shall have it . [I]_0-i do n't like to disobey [aunt]_1460-aunt , but in this case there is no help for it . [I]_0-i am sure [I]_0-i can reach it without doing any harm ; besides , [I]_0-i must get [my]_0-i book — [I]_0-i can not do without it . " "_[0-i] Then only wait till [aunt]_1460-aunt comes [home]_563-home , or at least let [me]_0-i ask [uncle]_3425-uncle if [we]_1468-we may move it , [dear Edward]_76-edward ; do let [me]_0-i go — [I]_0-i will not be a minute . " "_[0-i] And so betray [my]_0-i being in a passion the other day , and get [me]_0-i a reproof for that , and for [my]_0-i carelessness into the bargain ! Nonsense , [Ellen]_113-ellen ; [I]_0-i will get it , and , [you]_113-ellen must help [me]_0-i , for [I]_0-i have not a moment to lose . " "_[76-edward] No , [Edward]_76-edward ! indeed , indeed , [I]_0-i can not touch it , " [she]_113-ellen replied imploringly , and shrinking back . "_[113-ellen] Say , rather , [you]_113-ellen wish to get [me]_0-i into disgrace , and perhaps prevented from going out this evening , and to - morrow , and Friday too ! " exclaimed [Edward]_76-edward , irritated beyond all forbearance ; "_[113-ellen] and the other day [you]_113-ellen were so very sorry [I]_0-i was going from [home]_563-home so soon — much [you]_113-ellen must care about [me]_0-i , that [you]_113-ellen can not do such a trifling thing as this to oblige [me]_0-i ! [I]_0-i hate deceit . " [Ellen]_113-ellen made no reply , though the tears started to [her]_113-ellen eyes ; but as usual [her]_113-ellen firmness deserted [her]_113-ellen . The heavy stand was carefully moved a little forward , without injuring any of the plants ; the book was obtained , and at that moment the voice of [Percy]_99-percy was heard exclaiming — "_[76-edward] [Edward]_76-edward ! [Edward]_76-edward ! what are [you]_76-edward about ? [papa]_3546-papa has been expecting [you]_76-edward the last half - hour ; [he]_3546-papa says if [you]_76-edward do not come directly , [you]_76-edward will not have time to do all [you]_76-edward wish — what can [you]_76-edward be about ? " [Edward]_76-edward did not wait to hear much more than [his]_76-edward name , but darted off , leaving [[his]_76-edward sister]_{561-his sister} to push back the stand . [Ellen]_113-ellen felt almost sure [she]_113-ellen could not do it by [herself]_113-ellen ; but how was [she]_113-ellen to act ? To ask assistance would not only be confessing [her]_113-ellen own disobedience , but inculpating [[her]_113-ellen brother]_{384-her brother} , and really , perhaps , deprive [him]_{384-her brother} of the enjoyments [he]_{384-her brother} anticipated , and so confirm [his]_{384-her brother} unkind words . [She]_113-ellen tried to replace it , and thought [she]_113-ellen had quite succeeded ; but as [she]_113-ellen moved it , one of the myrtles fell to the ground , and its beautiful blossom hung on the stalk , preserved from being quite broken off only by three or four delicate fibers . It was [Caroline]_120-caroline 's favorite plant ; one [she]_120-caroline so cherished and tended , that [Percy]_99-percy called it [[her]_120-caroline petted child]_{4709-her petted child} ; and poor [Ellen]_113-ellen stood paralyzed ; [she]_113-ellen raised the pot mechanically , and rested the broken head of the flower against the still uninjured sprig , and it looked so well and natural , that the thought for a moment darted across [her]_113-ellen mind that after all it might not be discovered . Then came all [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} 's lessons of the many ways of acting an untruth without words , and , therefore , even if it should not be discovered , it was no comfort ; but could [she]_113-ellen , dared [she]_113-ellen , voluntarily confess what must appear a willful disobedience ? If [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} had been at [home]_563-home , [she]_113-ellen might in that first moment have gained the necessary courage ; but [she]_113-ellen was not expected back for two or three hours , and [Ellen]_113-ellen sat with [her]_113-ellen face buried in [her]_113-ellen hands , only conscious of misery , till [[her]_113-ellen cousin]_{4159-her cousin} 's joyous voice called out from [the hall]_{836-the hall} — "_[3546-papa] Come along , [Nelly]_113-ellen , [I]_0-i have kept [you]_113-ellen long enough ; [Tiny]_130-tiny would never have left [me]_0-i quiet so long ; but there is no tiring [your]_113-ellen patience . However , [I]_0-i will make up for it now . " And glad to escape from [her]_113-ellen own thoughts , [she]_113-ellen hastily collected the various seeds , and ran after [him]_{4159-her cousin} . And [Percy]_99-percy was so active , so obliging , so amusing in [his]_99-percy queer ways of working and talking , that [she]_113-ellen almost forgot the impending trial , till [she]_113-ellen met [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} and [cousins]_4716-cousins at luncheon . [Edward]_76-edward had been so intent , so happy at [his]_76-edward business with [[his]_76-edward uncle]_{443-his uncle} , that [he]_76-edward had never cast a thought as to how the stand got back ; and after lunch [he]_76-edward had to go for a row on [the river]_{4342-the river} , and after dinner to attend a lecture on astronomy , which , that night and the one following , was to be given in [the town - hall]_{4719-the town - hall} in T—. [[His]_76-edward uncle]_{443-his uncle} and [Percy]_99-percy and [Herbert]_102-herbert were to accompany [him]_76-edward , and so , that [he]_76-edward should give a thought to any thing disagreeable , was not likely . The day wore on ; [Ellen]_113-ellen 's little courage had all gone , and [she]_113-ellen almost unconsciously hoped that nothing would be discovered . [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} and [the lads]_{4126-the lads} departed at six , and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} proposed adjourning to [[[her]_113-ellen daughters]_{533-her daughters} ' room]_{4723-her daughters ' room} , to finish an entertaining book that [they]_4724-they were reading aloud . [She]_113-ellen had noticed , with [her]_113-ellen usual penetration , that all day [Ellen]_113-ellen evidently shrunk from [her]_113-ellen eye , and felt quite sure something was wrong again ; but [she]_113-ellen asked no questions , fearing again to tempt equivocation . [Caroline]_120-caroline 's passionate exclamation that [somebody]_{4725-somebody} had broken [her]_120-caroline beautiful flower , drew the attention of all to the stand , and one glance sufficed to tell [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} that it had been moved . [Her]_113-ellen anxious suspicions at once connected this with [Ellen]_113-ellen 's shrinking manner , and [she]_113-ellen turned to ask [her]_113-ellen if [she]_113-ellen knew any thing about it . But [Ellen]_113-ellen had disappeared ; and [she]_113-ellen rang the bell , and inquired of [the only domestics whose department ever led [them]_1473-them into [the room]_{356-the room}]_{4726-the only domestics whose department ever led them into the room} , if [they]_1473-them could explain the accident . But neither of [them]_1473-them could ; all uniting in declaring , that in the morning the myrtle was quite perfect . "_[113-ellen] [Ellen]_113-ellen was at [home]_563-home , [mamma]_3420-mamma ; [she]_113-ellen must know something about it . [Percy]_99-percy said [they]_1473-them did not begin gardening till more than an hour after [we]_1474-we were gone , " exclaimed [Caroline]_120-caroline , whose temper was sorely tried by this downfall of all [her]_120-caroline cares . "_[99-percy] [I]_0-i dare say [she]_113-ellen did it [herself]_113-ellen — spiteful thing!—and has gone to hide [herself]_113-ellen rather than confess it — it is just like [her]_113-ellen ! " "_[113-ellen] Stop , [Caroline]_120-caroline , do not condemn till [you]_120-caroline are quite certain ; and do not in [your]_120-caroline anger say what is not true . [Ellen]_113-ellen has given no evidence as yet of being spiteful or mischievous . [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , go and tell [[your]_120-caroline cousin]_{929-your cousin} that [I]_0-i want [her]_{929-your cousin} . " [The child]_{346-the child} obeyed . [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} had continued working most industriously at the table , without uttering a word , though [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's countenance expressed such unusual perplexity and pain , that it would have seemed kinder to have spoken . One look at [Ellen]_113-ellen convinced [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} , and [she]_{367-her aunt} actually paused before [she]_{367-her aunt} spoke , dreading the reply almost as much as [the child]_{346-the child} did the question . It was scarcely audible ; it might have been denial , it certainly was not affirmative , for [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} instantly exclaimed — "_[113-ellen] [Ellen]_113-ellen , how can [you]_113-ellen tell such a deliberate falsehood ? [I]_0-i would not tell [[your]_120-caroline aunt]_{3426-your aunt} , for [I]_0-i really wished [you]_113-ellen to have the opportunity of in some degree redeeming [your]_113-ellen disobedience ; but [I]_0-i saw [you]_113-ellen move back the stand , and [your]_113-ellen sinful attempt at concealment by replacing the broken flower — and now [you]_113-ellen dare deny it ? " "_[113-ellen] [I]_0-i did not replace the flower with the intention of concealing it , " exclaimed [Ellen]_113-ellen , bursting into tears ; for that one unjust charge seemed to give back the power of speech , though the violent reproach and invective which burst from [Caroline]_120-caroline prevented any thing further . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i must beg [you]_113-ellen to be silent , [Caroline]_120-caroline , or to leave [the room]_{356-the room} , till [I]_0-i have done speaking to [[your]_113-ellen cousin]_{929-your cousin} , " said [[her]_113-ellen mother]_{345-her mother} , quietly ; "_[0-i] the fate of [your]_113-ellen flower seems to make [you]_113-ellen forget that [I]_0-i have never yet permitted disrespect or any display of temper in [my]_0-i presence . " "_[0-i] But what right had [Ellen]_113-ellen to touch the stand ? " "_[113-ellen] None — [she]_113-ellen has both disobeyed and again tried to deceive [me]_0-i ; faults which it is [my]_0-i duty to chastise , but not [yours]_1479-yours to upbraid . Answer [me]_0-i , [Ellen]_113-ellen , at once and briefly ; [your]_113-ellen fault is known , and , therefore , all further equivocation is useless . Did [you]_113-ellen move that flower - stand ? " "_[113-ellen] Yes , " replied [the child]_{346-the child} , almost choked with sobs , called forth the more from the contrast which [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} 's mildness presented to [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} 's harshness , and [Caroline]_120-caroline 's violent anger , and from the painful longing to say that [her]_{346-the child} first disobedience was not entirely [her]_{346-the child} own fault . "_[113-ellen] Did [you]_113-ellen remember that [I]_0-i had expressly forbidden either of [you]_113-ellen to attempt to move it ? " "_[0-i] Yes , " replied [Ellen]_113-ellen again , and an exclamation at the apparent hardihood of [her]_113-ellen conduct escaped from both [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} and [Caroline]_120-caroline . "_[0-i] And yet [you]_113-ellen persisted , [Ellen]_113-ellen : this is indeed a strange contradiction to [your]_113-ellen seemingly sincere sorrow for a similar fault a few months back . What did [you]_113-ellen move it for ? " For full a minute [Ellen]_113-ellen hesitated , thus unhappily confirming the suspicion that when [she]_113-ellen did reply it was another equivocation . "_[113-ellen] To get a book which had fallen behind . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i do not know how a book could have fallen behind , unless it had been put or thrown there , [Ellen]_113-ellen ; [you]_113-ellen said , too , that [you]_113-ellen did not replace the broken flower for the purpose of concealment . [I]_0-i hardly know how to believe either of these assertions . Why did [you]_113-ellen leave [the room]_{356-the room} just now ? " "_[113-ellen] Because — because — [I]_0-i knew [you]_113-ellen would question [me]_0-i , and — and — [I]_0-i felt [I]_0-i should not have courage to speak the truth — and [I]_0-i knew — [you]_113-ellen would be so — so displeased . " The words were scarcely articulate . "_[113-ellen] [I]_0-i should have been better satisfied , [Ellen]_113-ellen , if [your]_113-ellen fear of [my]_0-i displeasure had prevented the committal of [your]_113-ellen first fault , not to aggravate it so sinfully by both acted and spoken untruths . Painful as it is to [me]_0-i in this season of festivity and enjoyment to inflict suffering , [I]_0-i should share [your]_113-ellen sin if [I]_0-i did not adopt some measures to endeavor at least to make [you]_113-ellen remember and so avoid it in future . [I]_0-i have told [you]_113-ellen so very often that it is not [me]_0-i [you]_113-ellen mostly offend when [you]_113-ellen speak or act falsely but [God]_85-god [himself]_85-god — who is Truth — that [I]_0-i fear words alone will be of no avail . Go to [[your]_113-ellen own room]_{1481-your own room} , [Ellen]_113-ellen ; perhaps solitude and thought , when [[your]_113-ellen brother]_{3473-your brother} and [cousins]_4716-cousins are so happy and unrestrained , may bring [you]_113-ellen to a sense of [your]_113-ellen aggravated misconduct better than any thing else . [You]_113-ellen will not leave [[your]_113-ellen apartment]_{1484-your apartment} , except for the hours of devotion and exercise — which [you]_113-ellen will take with [Ellis]_135-ellis , not with [me]_0-i — till [I]_0-i think [you]_113-ellen have had sufficient time to reflect on all [I]_0-i have said to [you]_113-ellen on this subject . " [Ellen]_113-ellen quitted [the room]_{356-the room} without answering ; but it was several minutes before [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} could sufficiently conquer the very painful feelings which [[her]_0-i niece]_{372-her niece} 's conduct and [her]_0-i own compelled severity excited , to enter into [[her]_0-i daughters]_{533-her daughters} ' amusements ; but [she]_0-i would not punish [them]_{533-her daughters} for the misconduct of [another]_4737-another ; and , by [her]_0-i exertions , temper to [Caroline]_120-caroline and cheerfulness to [Emmeline]_78-emmeline ( whose tears of sympathy had almost kept pace with [Ellen]_113-ellen 's of sorrow ) , gradually returned , and [their]_{533-her daughters} book became as delightful a recreation as it had been before . Great was [Edward]_76-edward 's grief and consternation when [he]_76-edward found the effects of what was actually in the first instance [his]_76-edward fault ; but [he]_76-edward had not sufficient boldness to say so . [[His]_76-edward aunt]_{365-his aunt} had expressly said it was the untruth that had occasioned [her]_{365-his aunt} greatest displeasure , that if the disobedience had been confessed at once , [she]_{365-his aunt} would , in consideration of the season , have forgiven it with a very slight rebuke . "_[0-i] Now , " [he]_76-edward thought , "_[113-ellen] it is only the disobedience in which [I]_0-i am concerned , and if [I]_0-i confess it was mostly [my]_0-i fault , it wo n't help [Ellen]_113-ellen in the least — so what is the use of [my]_0-i acknowledging it ? Of course , if [she]_113-ellen wishes it , [I]_0-i will ; but how could [she]_113-ellen tell such a deliberate story ? " That [he]_76-edward was acting one of equal deliberation , and of far more culpability , if possible — for [he]_76-edward was permitting [her]_113-ellen to bear the whole weight of [his]_76-edward fault — never struck [him]_76-edward ; if it did , [he]_76-edward did not at all understand or believe it . [He]_76-edward went to [[his]_76-edward sister]_{561-his sister} , and offered to confess [his]_76-edward share in [her]_{561-his sister} fault , and when — as [he]_76-edward fully expected — [she]_{561-his sister} begged [him]_76-edward not , that it could do [her]_{561-his sister} no good , and perhaps only get [him]_76-edward punished too , [his]_76-edward conscience was so perfectly satisfied , that [he]_76-edward actually took upon [himself]_76-edward to ask [her]_{561-his sister} how [she]_{561-his sister} could be so foolish and wrong as , when [she]_{561-his sister} was asked , not to allow that [she]_{561-his sister} had moved it at once — "_[113-ellen] It would have been all right , then , " [he]_76-edward said ; and added , almost with irritation , "_[113-ellen] and [I]_0-i should not have been teased with the thought of [your]_1485-your being in disgrace just now , when [I]_0-i wanted so much to enjoy [myself]_0-i . " "_[76-edward] Do not think about [me]_0-i , then , [Edward]_76-edward , " was [[his]_76-edward sister]_{561-his sister} 's reply ; "_[76-edward] [I]_0-i know the untruth is entirely [my]_0-i own fault , so why should it torment [you]_76-edward ; if [I]_0-i could but always tell and act the truth , and not be so very , very frightened — oh , how [I]_0-i wonder if [I]_0-i ever shall ! " and [she]_{561-his sister} leaned [her]_{561-his sister} head on [her]_{561-his sister} arms , which rested on the table , so despondingly , so sorrowfully , that [Edward]_76-edward felt too uncomfortable to remain with [her]_{561-his sister} . [He]_76-edward was satisfied that [he]_76-edward could not help [her]_{561-his sister} ; but the disagreeable thought would come , that if [he]_76-edward had not tempted [her]_{561-his sister} to disobey , [she]_{561-his sister} would have had no temptation to tell an untruth , and so [he]_76-edward sought a variety of active amusements to get rid of the feeling . The continuation of the entertaining astronomical lecture , too , was so very delightful , and Thursday and Friday morning brought so many enjoyments , that [he]_76-edward almost forgot [her]_{561-his sister} , till startled back into self - reproach by finding that [she]_{561-his sister} was not to accompany [them]_4741-they on Friday evening to [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} 's , whose great pleasure was to collect [young people around [him]_{128-mr. howard}]_{4742-young people around him} , and whose soirée in the Christmas holidays , and whose day in [the country]_{4131-the country} at midsummer , were anticipated by [girls]_3687-girls and [boys]_3688-boys , great and small , with such delight as to pervade the whole year round . [Caroline]_120-caroline never refused to join [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} 's parties though [they]_4741-they were "_[0-i] juvenile ; " and [Percy]_99-percy always declared [they]_4741-they were as unlike [any other person]_{4746-any other person} 's as [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} was unlike [a schoolmaster]_{4747-a schoolmaster} . [Ellen]_113-ellen had so enjoyed the day in [the country]_{4131-the country} , that , timid as [she]_113-ellen was , [she]_113-ellen had looked forward to [Friday]_168-friday with almost as much delight as [Emmeline]_78-emmeline . In vain [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , [Edward]_76-edward , [Percy]_99-percy , [Herbert]_102-herbert , and even [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} entreated , that [she]_113-ellen might be permitted to go . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's own kind heart pleaded quite as strongly , but [she]_0-i remained firm . "_[0-i] Do not ask [me]_0-i , [[my]_0-i dear children]_{1486-my dear children} , " [she]_0-i said , almost as beseechingly as [they]_{1486-my dear children} had implored ; "_[0-i] [I]_0-i do assure [you]_{1486-my dear children} it is quite as much , if not more pain to [me]_0-i on this occasion to refuse , as it is for [you]_{1486-my dear children} all to be refused . If it were the first , second , or even third time that [Ellen]_113-ellen had disregarded truth , [I]_0-i would yield for [your]_{1486-my dear children} sakes ; and in the hope that the indulgence would produce as good an effect as continued severity ; but [I]_0-i can not hope this now . The habit , is , [I]_0-i fear , so deeply rooted , that nothing but firmness in inflicting pain , whenever it is committed , will succeed in eradicating it . [God]_85-god grant [I]_0-i may remove it at last . " The tone and words were so earnest , so sad , that not only did [[her]_0-i children]_{322-her children} cease in [their]_{322-her children} intercession , but [all]_4750-all felt still more forcibly the solemn importance of the virtue , in which [Ellen]_113-ellen had so failed , from the effect of [her]_113-ellen conduct upon [[their]_{322-her children} mother]_{488-their mother} . [She]_113-ellen was always grieved when [they]_{322-her children} had done wrong , but [they]_{322-her children} never remembered seeing [her]_113-ellen so very sad as now . [Edward]_76-edward , indeed , could scarcely understand this as [[his]_76-edward cousins]_{4672-his cousins} did ; but as [[his]_76-edward aunt]_{365-his aunt} still only alluded to the untruth , the qualm of conscience was again silenced , for [he]_76-edward had only caused the disobedience . [Emmeline]_78-emmeline asked timidly if [she]_78-emmeline might remain with [Ellen]_113-ellen , and [Edward]_76-edward followed [her]_78-emmeline example , thinking [himself]_76-edward very magnanimous in so doing ; but both were refused — and surely [he]_76-edward had done enough ! All went — [Mr.]_4754-mr. and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} and [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} , as well as [the young people]_{4591-the young people} ; and it was such a happy evening ! First , there was the orrery , that [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} had prevailed on [the lecturer]_{4756-the lecturer} to display first at [[his]_{128-mr. howard} house]_{4757-his house} , and [Edward]_76-edward was almost wild in [his]_76-edward delight ; and then there were some games and intellectual puzzles , that made [them]_{4591-the young people} all think , as well as enjoy ; and then there were some music and singing and dancing , and every thing was so quiet and orderly , and yet so full of youthful enjoyment , that it was not much wonder there was no longer any room for a sorrowful thought , in any of [the young party from [Oakwood]_12-oakwood]_{4758-the young party from oakwood} . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} alone thought of [Ellen]_113-ellen , and again and again accused [herself]_{81-mrs. hamilton} of too great harshness ; for , perhaps , after all , it might have no better effect than kindness ; but what could [she]_78-emmeline do ? [She]_78-emmeline almost envied the quiet , unruffled unconcern of [less anxious guardians]_{4759-less anxious guardians} ; but for [her]_78-emmeline to feel indifferent to [her]_78-emmeline responsibility was impossible . [Ellen]_113-ellen was so often unwell that [her]_113-ellen absence did not occasion so much remark as [[her]_113-ellen brother]_{384-her brother} 's or either of [[her]_113-ellen cousins]_{3955-her cousins} ' would . "_[85-god] [Mamma]_80-mamma did not wish [her]_1487-her to come , " was the answer [she]_80-mamma had desired [the children]_{411-the children} to give to any inquiries , and [her]_80-mamma character for indulgence was so generally known , that [no one]_{3540-no one} suspected any thing more than indisposition . [Annie Grahame]_129-annie 's dislike to [Ellen]_113-ellen might have made [her]_129-annie more suspicious , but [she]_129-annie was not there . [Cecil]_159-cecil and [Lilla]_169-lilla were , with [[their]_{411-the children} father]_{965-their father} , but [Miss Grahame]_{145-miss grahame} did not condescend to attend [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} 's "_[80-mamma] juvenile " parties ; and [Caroline]_120-caroline , though [she]_120-caroline would not have allowed it , even to [herself]_120-caroline , was both happier , and much more inclined to enjoy [herself]_120-caroline , with the amusements and society offered to [her]_120-caroline when [Annie]_129-annie was not at a party , than when [she]_129-annie was . The next night , to [Ellen]_113-ellen 's disposition , was a greater trial than the Friday . [She]_80-mamma neither expected , nor hardly wished to be allowed to go to [[Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} 's]_{920-mr. howard 's} , though , as the affectionate [Emmeline]_78-emmeline had come to wish [her]_80-mamma good night , and with tears in [her]_80-mamma eyes repeated the regrets that [she]_80-mamma was not to go , [she]_80-mamma felt the bitter disappointment more than in the morning [she]_80-mamma had thought possible ; but Saturday night it had been [[her]_80-mamma aunt]_{367-her aunt} 's custom , from the time [she]_80-mamma had been at [Oakwood]_12-oakwood , to visit [[her]_80-mamma daughters]_{533-her daughters} and niece before [they]_4768-they went to sleep , and prepare [them]_4768-they for the Sabbath 's rest and enjoyment , by an examination of [their]_4768-they conduct during the past week , and full forgiveness of any thing that had been wrong . When younger , [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had attended to this duty every night ; but wishing to give [them]_4768-they a habit of private prayer and self - examination , independent of [her]_80-mamma , [she]_80-mamma had , after [Emmeline]_78-emmeline was twelve years old , set apart the Saturday night , until [they]_4768-they were fifteen — old enough for [her]_80-mamma to relinquish it altogether . It had been such a habit with [[her]_80-mamma own children]_{455-her own children} , that [they]_4768-they felt it perfectly natural ; but with [Ellen]_113-ellen and [Edward]_76-edward , from [their]_4768-they never having been accustomed to it as [young children]_{4770-young children} , [she]_80-mamma had never felt the duty understood by [them]_4768-they , or as satisfactorily performed by [herself]_80-mamma as with [her]_80-mamma own . Still , [Ellen]_113-ellen looked forward to this night as the termination of [her]_113-ellen banishment ; for great indeed was the offense whose correction extended over the Sabbath . [Ellen]_113-ellen could not remember one instance since [she]_113-ellen had been at [Oakwood]_12-oakwood , and when [she]_113-ellen heard the doors of [[[her]_113-ellen cousins]_{3955-her cousins} ' rooms]_{4772-her cousins ' rooms} successively close , and [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} 's step retreating without approaching [hers]_113-ellen , [she]_113-ellen did , indeed , believe [herself]_113-ellen irreclaimably wicked , or [[her]_113-ellen kind , good aunt]_{4774-her kind , good aunt} , would , at least , have come to [her]_113-ellen . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had purposely refrained from indulging [her]_{4774-her kind , good aunt} own inclinations , as well as comforting [Ellen]_113-ellen , hoping still more to impress upon [her]_113-ellen how greatly [she]_113-ellen had sinned . The impossibility of [her]_113-ellen perfectly comprehending [[her]_113-ellen niece]_{372-her niece} 's character , while [the poor child]_{399-the poor child} felt it such a sacred duty to victimize [herself]_113-ellen , made [her]_113-ellen far more severe than [she]_113-ellen would have been , could [she]_113-ellen have known [her]_113-ellen real disposition ; but how was it possible [she]_113-ellen could believe [Ellen]_113-ellen 's grief as deep and remorseful as it seemed , when a short time afterward [she]_113-ellen would commit the same faults ? [Her]_113-ellen task was infinitely more difficult and perplexing than [less anxious mothers]_{4777-less anxious mothers} can have the least idea of . In feverish dreams of [[her]_113-ellen parents]_{3918-her parents} , recalling both [their]_{3918-her parents} deaths , and with alternate wakefulness , fraught with those deadly incomprehensible terrors which [some poor children of strong imagination]_{4779-some poor children of strong imagination} know so well , [Ellen]_113-ellen 's night passed ; and the next morning [she]_113-ellen rose , with that painful throbbing in [her]_113-ellen throat and temples , which always ended with one of those intense and exhausting headaches to which which [she]_113-ellen had been so subject , but which [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} 's care and [Mr. Maitland]_{154-mr. maitland} 's remedies had much decreased , both in frequency and violence . [She]_113-ellen went to [church]_3975-church , however with [the family]_{3915-the family} , as usual . "_[80-mamma] Remain out , [Edward]_76-edward ! " [Percy]_99-percy exclaimed , as [they]_1488-they neared [the house]_{3775-the house} ; "_[80-mamma] the old year is taking leave of [us]_1488-they in such a glorious mood , that [Tiny]_130-tiny and [I]_0-i are going to ruralize and poetize till dinner — will [you]_76-edward come with us?—and [you]_76-edward , [Ellen]_113-ellen ? " [Ellen]_113-ellen withdrew [her]_113-ellen arm from [[her]_113-ellen brother]_{384-her brother} 's , saying , as [she]_113-ellen did so — "_[113-ellen] Go , [dear]_3435-dear [Edward]_76-edward , [I]_0-i am very tired , and would rather not . " "_[113-ellen] Tired , and with this short walk ; and [you]_76-edward really do look as if [you]_76-edward were — what is the matter , [Ellen]_113-ellen ? [you]_76-edward are not well . " [[His]_76-edward sister]_{561-his sister} did not reply , but shrinking from the look which [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , who was passing at the moment , fixed earnestly upon [her]_113-ellen , [she]_113-ellen ran into [the house]_{3775-the house} . [Edward]_76-edward again felt uncomfortable ; in fact , [he]_76-edward had done so , so often since the Tuesday morning , that [his]_76-edward temper was not half so good as usual . [He]_76-edward did not choose to acknowledge , even to [himself]_76-edward , that the uncomfortable feeling was self - reproach , and so [he]_76-edward vented it more than once in irritation against [Ellen]_113-ellen , declaring it was so disagreeable [she]_113-ellen should be in disgrace just then . It was [Mr.]_4787-mr. and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's custom always to dine on Sundays at half - past one , to allow [those of [[their]_4787-mr. household]_{4789-their household} who were [unable to attend divine service in the morning]_{4790-unable to attend divine service in the morning} to go in the afternoon . With regard to [themselves]_4787-mr. and [[their]_4787-mr. children]_{3513-their children}]_{4788-those of their household who were unable to attend divine service in the morning to go in the afternoon . with regard to themselves and their children} [they]_4787-mr. pursued a plan , which [many rigid religionists]_{4792-many rigid religionists} might , perhaps , have condemned , and yet its fruits were very promising . [Their]_4787-mr. great wish was to make the Sabbath a day of love , divine and domestic ; to make [[their]_4787-mr. children]_{3513-their children} look to it with joy and anticipation throughout the week as a day quite distinct in its enjoyment from any other ; and for this reason , while [[their]_4787-mr. children]_{3513-their children} were young , [they]_{3513-their children} only went to [church]_3975-church in the morning , the afternoons were devoted to teaching [them]_{3513-their children} to know and to love [God]_85-god in [His]_85-god works as well as word , and [their]_{3513-their children} evenings to such quiet but happy amusements and literature , as would fill [their]_{3513-their children} young hearts with increased thankfulness for [their]_{3513-their children} very happy lot . As [they]_{3513-their children} grew older , [they]_{3513-their children} were perfectly at liberty to do as [they]_{3513-their children} pleased with regard to [the afternoon church]_{4796-the afternoon church} . [Herbert]_102-herbert , whose ardent desire to enter [the ministry]_{4797-the ministry} increased with [his]_102-herbert years , generally spent the greater part of Sunday with [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} , with [[his]_102-herbert parents]_{3895-his parents} ' glad and full consent . The contemplation of serious things was [his]_102-herbert greatest happiness , but [Mr.]_4799-mr. and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} did not expect that all [[their]_{3895-his parents} other children]_{4800-their other children} were to be like [him]_102-herbert . [They]_{3895-his parents} were contented , and intensely thankful also , to perceive that diverse as were [[their]_{3895-his parents} characters]_{4801-their characters} , still the constant sense of [God]_85-god 's presence and of [His]_85-god infinite love was active and earnest in [them]_{3895-his parents} all , inciting love and reverence for [Herbert]_102-herbert , even though [they]_{3895-his parents} could not sympathize with [him]_102-herbert entirely . Another peculiarity of [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} consisted in [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} permitting [no Sunday schools at [Aveling]_35-aveling]_{4802-no sunday schools at aveling} and [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} other villages]_{4803-his other villages} . The Saturday afternoons were set apart instead of the Sunday . [He]_{81-mrs. hamilton} wished [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} wife]_{521-his wife} , and [daughters]_{4805-daughters} when [they]_{3895-his parents} were old enough , to superintend [them]_{3895-his parents} , and help [the children]_{411-the children} in preparing for the Sunday services and Sunday enjoyments ; but [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} particularly disliked the system of overwork on a day of rest , which could not fail to be the case , if there were [schools to attend]_{4807-schools to attend} to twice or three times a day , as well as [church]_3975-church . It being the last day of the old year , [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} had expressed a wish that [Percy]_99-percy and [Edward]_76-edward as well as [Herbert]_102-herbert should attend [church]_3975-church that afternoon , and [the lads]_{4126-the lads} , without the least reluctance , consented ; [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} and [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} were going too , and [Caroline]_120-caroline and [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , of [their]_{3895-his parents} own accord , asked permission to accompany [them]_{3895-his parents} . [Ellen]_113-ellen 's pale , suffering face had so haunted [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} , that [she]_113-ellen could not think of any thing else , and remained for a very much longer time than was usual to [her]_113-ellen character in a state of indecision . The next night was [[her]_113-ellen children]_{322-her children} 's ball , and it was too , the first day of the new year — always in [her]_113-ellen happy circle a festival of joy and thankfulness . [Ellen]_113-ellen 's face certainly looked as if [she]_113-ellen had suffered quite enough to prevent the recurrence of [her]_113-ellen fault , but so it had always done , and yet , before [she]_113-ellen could possibly have forgotten its consequences , [she]_113-ellen failed again . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} sat for some time , after [[her]_113-ellen children]_{322-her children} had left [her]_113-ellen , in meditation , trying to silence the pleadings of affection , and listen only to reason , as to whether continued severity or returning kindness would be the more effective , and save both [Ellen]_113-ellen and [herself]_113-ellen any further pain . To [the child]_{346-the child} [herself]_{346-the child} physical suffering was so increasing as gradually to deaden mental , till at last it became so severe , that [she]_{346-the child} felt sick and faint . [She]_{346-the child} knew the medicine [she]_{346-the child} was in the habit of taking when similarly suffering , and the lotion which [[her]_{346-the child} aunt]_{367-her aunt} applied to [her]_{346-the child} forehead , and which always succeeded in removing the excessive throbbing , were both in [[Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's dressing - room]_{4268-mrs. hamilton 's dressing - room} ; but it seemed quite impossible that [she]_{346-the child} could get at [them]_4817-them , for [she]_{346-the child} did not like to leave [[her]_{346-the child} room]_{4818-her room} without permission , nor did [she]_{346-the child} feel as if [she]_{346-the child} could walk so far , [her]_{346-the child} head throbbing with increased violence with every step [she]_{346-the child} took . At length [she]_{346-the child} summoned sufficient courage to ring the bell , and beg [Fanny]_170-fanny to ask [Ellis]_135-ellis to come to [her]_{346-the child} . [The girl]_{4819-the girl} , who had been already dreadfully concerned that [Miss Ellen]_113-ellen had eaten no dinner , and on Sunday too ! gave such an account of [her]_{4819-the girl} , that [the housekeeper]_{4395-the housekeeper} hastened to [her]_{4819-the girl} directly , and begged [her]_{4819-the girl} to let [her]_{4819-the girl} go for [[her]_{4819-the girl} mistress]_{733-her mistress} — it was so lucky [she]_{4819-the girl} had not gone to [church]_3975-church — but [Ellen]_113-ellen clung to [her]_{4819-the girl} , imploring [her]_{4819-the girl} not . "_[3435-dear] [Dear]_3435-dear , dear [Ellis]_135-ellis , get [me]_0-i the medicine , and bathe [my]_0-i forehead [yourself]_135-ellis ; [I]_0-i shall get well then in an hour or two , without giving [[my]_0-i aunt]_{3424-my aunt} any trouble ; pray , pray , do n't tell [her]_{3424-my aunt} . [I]_0-i scarcely feel the pain when [she]_{3424-my aunt} is nursing and soothing [me]_0-i ; but [I]_0-i do not deserve that now , and [I]_0-i am afraid [I]_0-i never shall . " "_{[3424-my aunt]} But indeed , [Miss Ellen]_113-ellen , [she]_{3424-my aunt} will be displeased if [I]_0-i do not . Why , only the other morning [she]_{3424-my aunt} was quite concerned that [I]_0-i had not told [her]_{3424-my aunt} [Jane]_171-jane was ill directly , and went [herself]_171-jane two or three times every day to see [she]_171-jane had every thing proper and comfortable . " "_[171-jane] But that is quite different , dear [Ellis]_135-ellis ; do get the lotion ; [I]_0-i feel as if [I]_0-i could not bear this pain much longer without crying ; [you]_135-ellis can tell [her]_{3424-my aunt} afterward , if [you]_135-ellis think [you]_135-ellis ought . " And seeing that farther argument only increased [the poor child]_{399-the poor child} 's sufferings , [Ellis]_135-ellis promised , and left [her]_{399-the poor child} . [Ellen]_113-ellen leaned [her]_113-ellen forehead against the side of [her]_113-ellen little bed , and held the curtain tightly clasped , as if so to prevent the utterance of the hysteric sob that would rise in [her]_113-ellen throat , though [she]_113-ellen did not know what it was . But the wholly unexpected sound of [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's voice saying , close by [her]_113-ellen , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i am afraid [you]_135-ellis have one of [your]_135-ellis very bad headaches , [Ellen]_113-ellen , " so startled [her]_113-ellen , as to make [her]_113-ellen raise [her]_113-ellen head suddenly ; and the movement caused such agony , that , spite of all [her]_113-ellen efforts , [she]_113-ellen could not prevent an almost convulsive cry of pain . "_[113-ellen] [[My]_0-i dear child]_{1285-my dear child} ! [I]_0-i had no idea of pain like this ; why did [you]_135-ellis not send for [me]_0-i ? [We]_1493-we have always prevented its becoming so very violent by taking it in time , [[my]_0-i [Ellen]_113-ellen]_{1128-my ellen} . " "_[113-ellen] [Miss Ellen]_113-ellen would not let [me]_0-i go for [you]_135-ellis , [madam]_1495-madam , " rejoined [Ellis]_135-ellis , who , to [[her]_0-i mistress]_{733-her mistress} 's inexpressible relief , was close at hand with the remedies [she]_0-i wanted , and [she]_0-i repeated what [the child]_{346-the child} had said . "_[113-ellen] Again [your]_113-ellen old mistake , [Ellen]_113-ellen . [I]_0-i would so much , so very much rather hear [you]_113-ellen say [you]_113-ellen were resolved to deserve [my]_0-i love , than that [you]_113-ellen did not merit it . Why should [you]_113-ellen not deserve it as well as [[your]_113-ellen brother]_{3473-your brother} and [cousins]_4716-cousins , if [you]_113-ellen determined with all [your]_113-ellen heart to try and not do any thing to lessen it ? Nothing is so likely to prevent [your]_113-ellen even endeavoring to deserve it , as the mistaken fancy that [you]_113-ellen never shall ; but [you]_113-ellen are too unwell to listen to [me]_0-i now ; [we]_1498-we must try all [we]_1498-we can to remove this terrible pain , and then see if [we]_1498-we can bring back happiness too . " And for above an hour did [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , with the most patient tenderness , apply the usual remedies , cheered by finding that , though much more slowly than usual , still by degrees the violence of the pain did subside , and the hysterical affection give way to natural and quiet tears . Exhaustion produced a deep though not very long sleep , and after watching [her]_113-ellen some few minutes very anxiously , [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} sat down by [her]_113-ellen bed , and half unconsciously drew toward [her]_113-ellen [Ellen]_113-ellen 's little Bible , which lay open on the table , as if it had been only lately used . Several loose papers were between the leaves ; [her]_113-ellen eyes filled with tears as [she]_113-ellen read on one of them a little prayer , touching from the very childishness of the language and imperfect writing , beseeching [[her]_113-ellen Father]_{435-her father} in Heaven in [His]_{435-her father} great mercy to forgive [her]_113-ellen sin , and give [her]_113-ellen courage to speak the truth , to help [her]_113-ellen not to be so frightened , but to guide [her]_113-ellen in [her]_113-ellen difficult path . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} little guessed how difficult it was , but [she]_113-ellen hoped more from the effects of [her]_113-ellen present penitence than [she]_113-ellen had done yet . [She]_113-ellen had copied , too , several verses from the various parts of the Old and New Testament which were condemnatory of falsehood , and [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} felt no longer undecided as to [her]_113-ellen course of action . "_[1499-you] [You]_1499-you have employed [your]_1499-you solitary hours so well , [[my]_0-i dear]_{3485-my dear} [Ellen]_113-ellen , " [she]_0-i said , as , when [the child]_{346-the child} awoke and looked anxiously toward [her]_113-ellen — [she]_0-i kissed [her]_113-ellen cheek with even more than [her]_0-i usual fondness—"that_[1499-you] [I]_0-i scarcely require [your]_113-ellen assurance of repentance or promises of amendment . When [you]_113-ellen have taken some coffee , and think [you]_113-ellen are well enough to listen to [me]_0-i , [I]_0-i will read [you]_113-ellen an illustration of the fearful sin of falsehood from the Old Testament , which [I]_0-i do not think [I]_0-i have yet pointed out to [you]_113-ellen . [Ananias]_172-ananias and [Sapphira]_173-sapphira , [I]_0-i see [you]_113-ellen remember . " And when [Ellen]_113-ellen had taken the delicious cup of coffee , which [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} had ordered should be ready for [her]_113-ellen directly [she]_113-ellen awoke , and sat up , though [her]_113-ellen head was still so weak it required the support of a pillow , yet [she]_113-ellen seemed so revived , so almost happy , from the mesmeric effect of that warm , fond kiss , that [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} did not hesitate to continue the lesson [she]_{367-her aunt} was so anxious to impress , while the mind and heart were softened to receive it . [She]_{367-her aunt} turned to the fourth chapter of the second book of Kings , and after briefly relating the story of [Naaman]_174-naaman — for [she]_{367-her aunt} did not wish to divert [Ellen]_113-ellen 's attention from the one important subject , by giving any new ideas — [she]_{367-her aunt} read from the 20th verse to the end , and so brought the nature of [Gehazi]_175-gehazi 's sin and its awful punishment , at the hand of [God]_85-god [himself]_85-god ( for [the prophet]_{4831-the prophet} was merely an instrument of [the Eternal]_{176-the eternal} , [he]_85-god had no power in [himself]_85-god to call the disease of leprosy on [[his]_85-god servant]_{4832-his servant} ) to [Ellen]_113-ellen 's mind , that [she]_113-ellen never forgot it . "_[113-ellen] Do [you]_1501-you think [Elisha]_177-elisha knew where [he]_177-elisha had been , and what [he]_177-elisha had done , before [he]_177-elisha asked [him]_177-elisha ? " [she]_113-ellen ventured timidly to inquire , as [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} ceased ; "_[177-elisha] [Gehazi]_175-gehazi had told a falsehood already to [Naaman]_174-naaman . Do [you]_1501-you think [God]_85-god punished that or [his]_85-god falsehood to [Elisha]_177-elisha ? " "_[85-god] Most probably [he]_85-god punished both , [[my]_0-i love]_{3456-my love} . [Elisha]_177-elisha no doubt knew how [[his]_177-elisha servant]_{4832-his servant} had been employed in [his]_177-elisha absence , in fact [he]_177-elisha tells [him]_177-elisha so"—and [she]_{3456-my love} read the 26th verse again—"but_[177-elisha] [he]_177-elisha asked [him]_177-elisha whence [he]_177-elisha had come , to give [him]_177-elisha an opportunity for a full confession of [his]_177-elisha first sin , which then , no doubt would , after some slight rebuke , have been pardoned . It was a very great fault at first , but the mercy of [God]_85-god was then , as it is now , so infinite so forgiving , that , had [Elisha]_177-elisha 's question recalled [Gehazi]_175-gehazi to a sense of [his]_175-gehazi great guilt and excited real repentance , [his]_175-gehazi punishment would have been averted . But [his]_175-gehazi aggravated and repeated falsehood called down on [him]_175-gehazi a chastisement most terrible even to think about . Leprosy was not merely a dreadful disease in itself , but it cut [him]_175-gehazi off , from all the blessings and joys not only of social life but of domestic ; because , as [God]_85-god had said it should cleave to [his]_175-gehazi seed as well as to [himself]_175-gehazi , [he]_175-gehazi could never find [any one who would dare to love [him]_175-gehazi]_{1504-any one who would dare to love him} , and [he]_175-gehazi must have been compelled to lonely misery all [his]_175-gehazi life . " "_[85-god] It was a very dreadful punishment , " repeated [Ellen]_113-ellen , fearfully . "_[85-god] It was , dearest ; but it was merciful , notwithstanding . If , [God]_85-god had passed it by , and permitted [Gehazi]_175-gehazi to continue [his]_175-gehazi sinful course , without any check or chastisement that would recall [him]_175-gehazi to a sense of better things , and a wish to pursue them , [he]_175-gehazi might have continued apparently very happy in this life , to be miserable forever in the next ; to be banished forever from [God]_85-god and [[His]_85-god good angels]_{1505-his good angels} ; and would not that have been still more dreadful than the heaviest suffering here ? In those times [God]_85-god manifested [his]_85-god judgments through [[His]_85-god prophets]_{1506-his prophets} directly . That is not the case now , but [He]_85-god has given [us]_1507-we [His]_85-god word to tell [us]_1507-we , by history as well as precept , those things that are pleasing to [Him]_85-god , and those which excite [His]_85-god anger ; and which , if not corrected while [we]_1507-we are in [this world]_{3617-this world} , will cause [our]_1507-we condemnation when [our]_1507-we souls appear before [Him]_85-god in judgment , and when [we]_1507-we can not correct [them]_1509-them if [we]_1507-we would . Now [children]_{3553-children} , and even [young people]_{1511-young people} , can not know those things as well as [[their]_{3553-children} parents]_{947-their parents} and [guardians]_{1513-guardians} can , and if [we]_1507-we neglect to teach [them]_{3553-children} right and wrong , [God]_85-god is more angry with [us]_1507-we than with [them]_{3553-children} , as [He]_85-god tells [Ezekiel]_178-ezekiel . " [She]_0-i read from the 18th to the 22d verse of the third chapter , and explained it , so that [Ellen]_113-ellen could clearly understand it , and then said . "_[85-god] And now , [[my]_0-i dear]_{3485-my dear} [Ellen]_113-ellen , can [you]_113-ellen quite understand and quite feel why [I]_0-i have caused [you]_113-ellen so much pain , and been , as [I]_0-i dare say [you]_113-ellen have felt , so very , very severe ? " [Ellen]_113-ellen 's arms were round [her]_113-ellen neck in a moment , and [her]_113-ellen head cradled on [her]_113-ellen bosom , as [her]_113-ellen sole reply , for [she]_113-ellen felt [she]_113-ellen could not speak at first , without crying again . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i wish [I]_0-i could remember that [God]_85-god sees [me]_0-i wherever [I]_0-i am , " [she]_113-ellen said after a short pause , and very sadly . "_[85-god] [I]_0-i am so frightened when [I]_0-i think of any body 's anger , even [Caroline]_120-caroline 's , that [I]_0-i can not remember any thing else . " "_[0-i] Did [you]_113-ellen notice the Psalm [we]_1515-we read the day before yesterday , [[my]_0-i dear]_{3485-my dear} [Ellen]_113-ellen , in the morning lesson ? " [The child]_{346-the child} had not ; and [[her]_{346-the child} aunt]_{367-her aunt} turning to the 129th , read the first twelve and the two last verses carefully with [her]_0-i , adding — "_[113-ellen] Suppose [you]_113-ellen learn one verse for [me]_0-i every morning , till [you]_113-ellen can repeat the whole fourteen perfectly , and [I]_0-i think that will help [you]_113-ellen to remember it , [[my]_0-i [Ellen]_113-ellen]_{1128-my ellen} , and prove to [me]_0-i that [you]_113-ellen really are anxious to correct [yourself]_113-ellen ; and now one word more , and [I]_0-i think [I]_0-i shall have talked to [you]_113-ellen quite enough . " "_[0-i] Indeed , indeed [I]_0-i am not tired , [dear aunt]_{3449-dear aunt} , " replied [Ellen]_113-ellen , very earnestly ; "_[0-i] [I]_0-i feel when [you]_{3449-dear aunt} are talking to [me]_0-i as if [I]_0-i never could be naughty again . Oh ! how [I]_0-i wish [I]_0-i never were . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i am not so unconscionable as to expect [you]_113-ellen to have no faults , [[my]_0-i dear child]_{1285-my dear child} ; all [I]_0-i wish [you]_113-ellen to attend to , is more obedience to [my]_0-i commands . [I]_0-i have not said any thing about [your]_113-ellen disobedience , because [your]_113-ellen untruth was of still more consequence , but that grieved [me]_0-i too , for disobedience to [me]_0-i is also disobedience to [God]_85-god , for [He]_85-god has commanded [you]_113-ellen to obey [[your]_113-ellen parents]_{1520-your parents} and [guardians]_{1513-guardians} ; as [you]_113-ellen said [you]_113-ellen remembered [I]_0-i had told [you]_113-ellen not to move the flower - stand , [I]_0-i can not imagine what could have induced [you]_113-ellen so willfully to disobey [me]_0-i . " [Ellen]_113-ellen looked up in [her]_113-ellen face with such earnest , wistful eyes that [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} felt puzzled ; but as [she]_113-ellen did not speak , and laid [her]_113-ellen head again on its resting place , to hide the tears that rose , [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} merely added — "_[113-ellen] But as [I]_0-i do not wish to inflict any further pain , [I]_0-i will not say any thing more about it ; only remember , that though [I]_0-i may be displeased if [you]_113-ellen disobey [me]_0-i again , an instant and full confession will soon gain [my]_0-i forgiveness ; and that though [I]_0-i will never doubt [your]_113-ellen word , still , if [I]_0-i discover another untruth , it will and must oblige [me]_0-i to adopt still severer measures , painful as it will be to [myself]_0-i . Do not tremble so , [[my]_0-i [Ellen]_113-ellen]_{1128-my ellen} , [you]_113-ellen know [you]_113-ellen can prevent it ; and remember too that whenever [you]_113-ellen fail in truth , [you]_113-ellen punish [me]_0-i as well as [yourself]_113-ellen ; " and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} fondly kissed [her]_113-ellen as [she]_0-i spoke . Light steps and a ringing laugh at that moment sounded in [the passage]_{4837-the passage} , and [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , though [she]_78-emmeline certainly did ask if [she]_78-emmeline might enter , scarcely waited for an answer , before [she]_78-emmeline bounded in , [the very personification of health and joy]_{4838-the very personification of health and joy} . "_[113-ellen] [Mamma]_3420-mamma , [papa]_3546-papa wants to know if [we]_1525-we may not have tea to - night , and if [we]_1525-we may not have [Ellen]_113-ellen 's company too ? " "_[3546-papa] It is New Year 's Eve , " pleaded another joyous voice , and [Percy]_99-percy 's brown head just intruded itself through the half - opened door ; "_[3546-papa] and [our]_1525-we tree will not be half enjoyable unless [we]_1525-we are all there . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i had really forgotten [your]_3420-mamma tree , [[my]_0-i dear children]_{1486-my dear children} , but [I]_0-i am glad [papa]_3546-papa and [you]_3420-mamma all have remembered it . Come in , [Percy]_99-percy ; [Ellen]_113-ellen will , [I]_0-i dare say , admit [you]_99-percy into [[her]_113-ellen room]_{4818-her room} . " "_[3546-papa] [He]_3546-papa raced [me]_0-i all round [the gallery]_{4006-the gallery} , [mamma]_3420-mamma , declaring [he]_3546-papa would give [you]_3420-mamma [papa]_3546-papa 's message , or so take away [my]_0-i breath , that even if [I]_0-i outstripped [him]_3546-papa , [I]_0-i should not be able ; but [I]_0-i have , [you]_99-percy see , [sir]_3463-sir . " "_[3463-sir] Only because [I]_0-i did not know whether it was quite proper to enter [[a young lady]_{1533-a young lady} 's room]_{1534-a young lady 's room} . But do come , [mamma]_3420-mamma ; [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} is with [us]_1536-us as usual , and [we]_1536-us are all au desespoir for [you]_3420-mamma and [[our]_1536-us little [Ellen]_113-ellen]_{1537-our little ellen} — [she]_113-ellen may come , [I]_0-i can read it in [your]_3420-mamma eyes . " "_[113-ellen] Are [you]_3420-mamma well enough , [[my]_0-i love]_{3456-my love} ? Do [you]_3420-mamma think this poor little head will permit [you]_3420-mamma to join [us]_1536-us ? " asked [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , anxiously , for the sudden joy that gleamed in [Ellen]_113-ellen 's eyes at the idea of joining [the family]_{3915-the family} , told what the disappointment would be if [she]_113-ellen could not . "_[3420-mamma] It does not hurt [me]_0-i at all if [I]_0-i can rest it , [aunt]_1460-aunt ; but [I]_0-i am afraid it will not let [me]_0-i walk , " [she]_0-i added , sorrowfully , as the attempt to walk caused it to throb again . "_[0-i] Never mind , [Nelly]_113-ellen , even if [you]_113-ellen can not walk ; [you]_113-ellen shall make use of [my]_0-i pedestrian powers , " replied [Percy]_99-percy , joyously ; "_[113-ellen] rest [your]_113-ellen head on [my]_0-i shoulder — that 's it — [I]_0-i should make a capital nurse [I]_0-i declare ; should [I]_0-i not , [mamma]_3420-mamma ? " And gayly answering in the affirmative , [[his]_99-percy mother]_{330-his mother} could scarcely prevent a throb of pride , as [she]_{330-his mother} looked on [his]_99-percy fine manly face , beaming with benevolent kindness on [[his]_99-percy little cousin , whom [he]_99-percy had tenderly lifted in [his]_99-percy arms]_{4841-his little cousin , whom he had tenderly lifted in his arms} , and checked [his]_99-percy boisterous mirth and rapid stride to accommodate [her]_{330-his mother} . "_[113-ellen] [You]_113-ellen are not quite so light as [Tiny]_130-tiny , but [she]_1541-she is all air ; [I]_0-i expect [she]_1541-she will evaporate some day : never mind [your]_113-ellen hair , it does very well . " "_[113-ellen] Stop , [I]_0-i will smooth it in a moment , " exclaimed [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , eagerly ; "_[0-i] it is [Sunday]_179-sunday , [Percy]_99-percy , [she]_1541-she shall look well . " "_[113-ellen] [You]_113-ellen had better let [me]_0-i do it , [Emmy]_121-emmy , " said [[her]_121-emmy mother]_{345-her mother} , smiling ; "_[121-emmy] [[your]_113-ellen cousin]_{929-your cousin} 's head can only bear very tender handling to - night . There , that will do — and [I]_0-i am quite ready to attend [you]_113-ellen . " The lights , the joyous voices , even [[her]_121-emmy uncle]_{519-her uncle} 's kind greeting , almost overpowered poor [Ellen]_113-ellen ; as [Percy]_99-percy , still preserving [his]_99-percy character of [an admirable nurse]_{4844-an admirable nurse} , laid [her]_113-ellen carefully on a couch in [the sitting - room]_{4845-the sitting - room} , where not only tea was waiting , but the celebrated family tree , which [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's anxiety and [Ellen]_113-ellen 's sorrow had caused [them]_4846-their both to forget , was displayed with even more than usual taste and beauty . [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , when young , had been a great deal with [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} father]_{406-his father} in [Germany]_43-germany , [Denmark]_44-denmark , and [Sweden]_45-sweden , and brought from the first and [latter country]_{4848-latter country} certain domestic observances which had especially pleased [him]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , as so greatly enhancing the enjoyments of [home]_563-home , and helping to a right understanding between [parents]_4850-parents and [children]_{3553-children} , by increasing [their]_4846-their mutual love and confidence . The family tree , or Christmas Tree , as it was called , was one of these , and from [their]_4846-their earliest years it had been one of [the children]_{411-the children} 's greatest delights on New Year 's Eve . Of course , as [they]_4846-their grew older , and [their]_4846-their taste improved , the tree itself , [its]_4853-its suspended presents , and its surrounding decorations increased in beauty , and it had never been prettier than it was this year . The whole of the preceding afternoon had [the young artists]_{4854-the young artists} labored in preparing it , for of course , as the next day was Sunday , it was obliged to be all finished by the Saturday night ; [the servants]_{4009-the servants} , eager in all things to enhance the happiness of [those whose parents made [them]_{4009-the servants} so happy]_{4856-those whose parents made them so happy} , did not care what trouble [they]_{4009-the servants} took to help [them]_{4009-the servants} . [They]_{4009-the servants} always selected [the room in which there was a very lofty and very deep oriel window]_{4857-the room in which there was a very lofty and very deep oriel window} , in the center of which recess ( which was almost as large as [a moderately sized room]_{4858-a moderately sized room} ) [they]_{4009-the servants} placed the tree , which was a very large , gracefully - cut spruce fir ; it was placed in a tub filled with the same soil as that in which the tree grew , so that by watering and care it remained fresh for some time . [The tub which contained it]_{4859-the tub which contained it} , was completely hidden by the flowering shrubs that were placed round it , rising in an expanding pyramid , by means of several flower - stands , till the recess seemed one mass of leaf and flower ; among which the superb scarlet geranium , that in [Devonshire]_{11-devonshire} grows so luxuriantly all through the winter , shining against its own beautiful leaf , the brilliant berries of the holly , with their dark glistening branches , the snow - berry and flowering myrtle , shone pre - eminent . Small lamps glittered through the flowers , and were suspended in sufficient profusion from the pendent branches of the tree to half reveal and half hide the various gifts and treasures that were there deposited ; and altogether the effect , from every part of [the room]_{356-the room} , was really striking . The tree always remained till after [their]_4846-their ball , but , the interchange of gifts which took place on New Year 's Eve , causing so many peculiarly happy and home feelings , was confined to [the family group]_{4566-the family group} ; [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} always included . Many weeks before had [each individual]_{4862-each individual} worked at [his]_{4862-each individual} own secret undertaking . If it could not all be done in private , no questions were ever asked , and each helped [the other]_{3692-the other} to keep it at least from [[their]_{3692-the other} parents]_{947-their parents} till the eventful night itself . [They]_4846-their formed so large a party altogether , as little tokens of affection between [the brothers]_{4865-the brothers} and [sisters]_3971-sisters were also exchanged , that the tree was quite loaded , and many a time had [Mr.]_4867-mr. and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} discovered some trait of character or some ruling fancy , even in such a simple thing as the manufacture and presentation of home gifts . [Their]_4846-their own idea of family ties was so strong and so holy , that one great aim in the education of [[their]_4846-their children]_{3513-their children} was to make [them]_{3513-their children} not only love [each other]_{938-each other} , but have thought and attention for individual feelings and wishes , and so heighten feeling by action , not depend entirely on natural ties . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had known [many young persons who were lavish in attentions and even presents to [friends]_3577-friends]_{4870-many young persons who were lavish in attentions and even presents to friends} , but never imagined that [[their]_{4870-many young persons who were lavish in attentions and even presents to friends} own home circle]_{4872-their own home circle} had the first and strongest claim to kindness , whether of word or deed . [She]_4873-she knew that affections and thought lavished on [comparative strangers]_{4588-comparative strangers} never radiated on [home]_563-home , but that when given to [home]_563-home first , [they]_{4870-many young persons who were lavish in attentions and even presents to friends} shed light and kindliness far and near . [Their]_4846-their tea was indeed a mirthful one ; [Ellen]_113-ellen had been very fearful of meeting [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} , for [she]_113-ellen thought [he]_{128-mr. howard} must have been told how naughty [she]_113-ellen had been ; but if [he]_{128-mr. howard} had , there was nothing in [his]_{128-mr. howard} manner to say so ; for [he]_{128-mr. howard} shook hands with [her]_113-ellen , and even kissed [her]_113-ellen most kindly , and told [her]_113-ellen , laughingly , that [she]_113-ellen must be quite well by the next night , or how was [she]_113-ellen to dance ? That [he]_{128-mr. howard} thought it would be a good thing if [Emmeline]_78-emmeline could give [her]_113-ellen a little of [her]_113-ellen dancing mania , as [she]_113-ellen hardly ever only walked , even when [she]_113-ellen called [herself]_113-ellen quite sober . [Edward]_76-edward , every passing thought of self - reproach banished by [[his]_76-edward sister]_{561-his sister} 's return to favor , was in the wildest spirits ; [Percy]_99-percy and [Emmeline]_78-emmeline seemed to have laid [a wager who could say the wittiest things and laugh the most]_{4878-a wager who could say the wittiest things and laugh the most} . [Herbert]_102-herbert was very quiet , but looking as happy as [the rest]_{4642-the rest} , and quite entering into [their]_{4642-the rest} mirth , and showing all sorts of little gentle attentions to [Ellen]_113-ellen , who had seemed to shrink from [his]_{128-mr. howard} eye , more than from all the others . [Caroline]_120-caroline fully entered into the spirit of the evening , but neither [she]_120-caroline nor [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} took the same notice of [Ellen]_113-ellen as [the rest]_{4642-the rest} . [The person who was to act [the Wizard]_{4882-the wizard} 's part , and by means of a long wand detach the various treasures from the tree , and carry [them]_{4642-the rest} to [the owners whose names [they]_{4642-the rest} bore]_{4883-the owners whose names they bore} , was always chosen by lot]_{4881-the person who was to act the wizard 's part , and by means of a long wand detach the various treasures from the tree , and carry them to the owners whose names they bore , was always chosen by lot} ; and great was the delight of [the young party]_{3941-the young party} , when this night [the office]_{4885-the office} fell on [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} . [No one]_{3540-no one} seemed more pleased than [himself]_{128-mr. howard} , performing it with such a spirit of enjoyment and originality , that a general vote declared [him]_{128-mr. howard} [the very choicest wizard [they]_{4642-the rest} had ever had]_{4887-the very choicest wizard they had ever had} . To enumerate all the contents of that marvelous tree would be impossible . [[Their]_{4642-the rest} parents]_{947-their parents} ' gifts to each of [them]_{4642-the rest} were not in the tree , but always given afterward ; but great was the delight , when , after a terrible tussle to detach a large roll of cloth , down it came , right on [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} 's head , and almost enveloped [him]_{128-mr. howard} with its folds , and proved to be a beautiful cover , which [he]_{128-mr. howard} had long desired for a favorite table in [[his]_{128-mr. howard} drawing - room]_{4889-his drawing - room} at the embroidered border of which , not only [the three girls]_{4890-the three girls} , but [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} and [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} had all worked , as a joint offering of love and respect . [This good man]_{4891-this good man} was so charmed , that [he]_{4891-this good man} declared [he]_{4891-this good man} would not use [his]_{4891-this good man} wand again till [he]_{4891-this good man} had full five minutes to admire it . Then there was a very pretty , comfortable pair of slippers , worked by [Caroline]_120-caroline and [Emmeline]_78-emmeline for [[their]_{4642-the rest} father]_{965-their father} , and a pair of braces worked by [Ellen]_113-ellen , all accompanied by some most ludicrous , but very clever verses from [Percy]_99-percy . [Edward]_76-edward , who was very ingenious , had turned a very pretty stand for [[his]_76-edward uncle]_{443-his uncle} to put [his]_76-edward watch in at night ; and manufactured two little vessels out of cork for [[his]_76-edward aunt]_{365-his aunt} , so delicately , and neatly , that [she]_{365-his aunt} promised [him]_76-edward [they]_{4642-the rest} should stand on the mantelpiece of [[her]_{365-his aunt} dressing - room]_{4895-her dressing - room} , as long as [they]_{4642-the rest} would last . [Caroline]_120-caroline had knitted [[her]_120-caroline mother]_{345-her mother} a very pretty bag , and [Emmeline]_78-emmeline and [Ellen]_113-ellen had collected for [her]_{365-his aunt} a variety of leaves throughout the year , and arranged them with great taste , both as to grouping and tinting , in a sort of small herbal , with two or three lines of poetry , selected and carefully written by [each alternately]_{4897-each alternately} , attached to each page . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} was excessively pleased , as [she]_{345-her mother} was also with a portfolio formed by drawings from both [[her]_{345-her mother} boys]_{4138-her boys} , and tastefully made up by [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} ; and with [their]_{4138-her boys} gifts to [[their]_{4138-her boys} father]_{965-their father} , a correct and most beautifully written out Greek poem , which [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had several months , if not more than a year before , expressed a wish to possess , but the volume which contained it was so scarce , and so expensive from the quantity of uninteresting matter in which the gem was buried , that [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had given up all thought of it . [Herbert]_102-herbert , however , had not , and never rested from the time [[his]_102-herbert father]_{406-his father} spoke , till [he]_102-herbert had found and copied it — a task of no small difficulty , for the original was in many parts almost entirely effaced , and , if [Herbert]_102-herbert had not been [an admirable Greek scholar]_{4901-an admirable greek scholar} , and [a quick imaginator]_{4902-a quick imaginator} as to what it ought to be , [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} [himself]_{128-mr. howard} had said [he]_{128-mr. howard} could not have succeeded . The writing of the Greek character was most beautiful , and [Percy]_99-percy , in imitation of [the ancient missals]_{4903-the ancient missals} , had designed and painted an elegant illuminated border round it , and a beautiful cover , forming a thin volume , so valuable , [[their]_{4138-her boys} father]_{965-their father} delighted [them]_{4138-her boys} by saying , that [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} would not exchange it for twenty of the most precious volumes in [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} library]_{4607-his library} . Such evidences of the home influence [they]_{4138-her boys} had given , in permitting leisure for the cultivation of taste and imagination , teaching [them]_{4138-her boys} the beautiful , and opening innumerable resources of enjoyment within [themselves]_{4138-her boys} , and thence allowing [them]_{4138-her boys} to enhance the pleasures of [others]_756-others , were indeed most gratifying to [those earnest and affectionate guardians]_{4907-those earnest and affectionate guardians} . From [their]_{4138-her boys} earliest years [they]_{4138-her boys} had been taught , that to give the greatest amount of pleasure to [[their]_{4138-her boys} parents]_{947-their parents} , [their]_{4138-her boys} gifts must be all , or at least have something in [them]_{4138-her boys} , of [their]_{4138-her boys} own workmanship , and to enable [them]_{4138-her boys} to do this , [the lads]_{4126-the lads} had been taught in [their]_{4126-the lads} hours of recreation to use all sorts of tools , visiting and knowing something of a variety of handicrafts ; and [the girls]_{4910-the girls} to work and draw , and even bring the stores of Nature to [their]_{4138-her boys} aid when needed , as in the present case , with Emmeline and [Ellen]_113-ellen 's tasteful gift . [[Our]_4911-our young readers]_{4660-our young readers} must call upon [their]_{4660-our young readers} own imagination as to the other treasures of this valuable tree ; for , as [they]_{4660-our young readers} would , no doubt , like to know what sort of New Year 's gifts [Mr.]_4913-mr. and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had in store for [[their]_{4660-our young readers} children]_{3513-their children} ( for [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} too , for [they]_{4660-our young readers} never omitted [her]_{112-miss harcourt} ) , [we]_4911-our really must not linger round it any longer . [Poor [Ellen]_113-ellen]_{4915-poor ellen} , indeed , had the pain of feeling that [her]_113-ellen fault and its consequences had prevented the completion of [her]_113-ellen purse for [Percy]_99-percy , and a chain for [Edward]_76-edward , and [her]_113-ellen cheek burned very painfully , when [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} , after exhausting the tree , exclaimed — "_[0-i] Nothing from [Ellen]_113-ellen for [Percy]_99-percy and [Edward]_76-edward . [Young gentlemen]_{1543-young gentlemen} , have [you]_{1543-young gentlemen} been receiving any gifts in secret?—out with [them]_1544-them if [you]_{1543-young gentlemen} have — it is against all law and propriety . " "_[1545-we] [We]_1545-we shall receive them next week , [most potent conjuror]_{1546-most potent conjuror} , as [you]_{1543-young gentlemen} ought to have known without inquiring , " answered [Percy]_99-percy , directly ; and bending over [Ellen]_113-ellen , by whom [he]_99-percy chanced to be standing , [he]_99-percy said , kindly , "_{[1546-most potent conjuror]} Never mind , [Nelly]_113-ellen , [you]_113-ellen will have time to finish them both next week . " "_[113-ellen] Do not say ' never mind , ' [[my]_0-i dear boy]_{1168-my dear boy} , though [I]_0-i admire and sympathize in [your]_{1168-my dear boy} kind care of [[your]_{1168-my dear boy} cousin]_{929-your cousin} 's feelings , " said [[his]_{1168-my dear boy} mother]_{330-his mother} , in the same low tone , as only to be heard by [him]_{1168-my dear boy} and [Ellen]_113-ellen . ( [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} was very quick - sighted , and [he]_{128-mr. howard} took [Percy]_99-percy 's jest and turned off all farther notice of [his]_{128-mr. howard} words . ) "_[0-i] Even such a little thing as this in [Ellen]_113-ellen 's case is pain , and can only be felt as such ; [we]_1549-we do not lessen it by denying it , [[my]_0-i [Ellen]_113-ellen]_{1128-my ellen} , do [we]_1549-we ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i would rather feel it , if it would help [me]_0-i to remember , " was [Ellen]_113-ellen 's earnest and humble reply ; adding , "_[0-i] but [I]_0-i thank [you]_0-i , [dear Percy]_99-percy — [you]_0-i are so kind . " "_[0-i] Not a bit , " was [his]_99-percy laughing answer . "_[0-i] Why , what in [the world]_{592-the world} is this ? " [he]_99-percy added ; "_[0-i] [I]_0-i thought the tree was exhausted . " "_[0-i] So it is , but this was hid at [its]_1552-its root , " replied [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} , "_[0-i] and though it is directed to [Caroline]_120-caroline , it is somewhat too heavy for [my]_0-i wand , and must reach [her]_120-caroline in a more natural way . " "_{[120-caroline]} Why , it is [my]_0-i flower , [my]_0-i own beautiful flower , or one exactly like it , at least , " exclaimed [Caroline]_120-caroline , joyfully , as , removing a hollow pyramid of green and white paper , a myrtle was discovered of the same rare kind , and almost in as beautiful flower as the one whose death had caused such increased coldness in [her]_0-i feelings toward [Ellen]_113-ellen . "_[135-ellis] How did it come ? who could have procured it for [me]_0-i ? " "_[135-ellis] [Ellis]_135-ellis sent for it at [my]_0-i request , dear [Caroline]_120-caroline , " answered [Ellen]_113-ellen . "_[135-ellis] [She]_135-ellis said they were to be purchased from [the gardener at [Powderham]_46-powderham]_{1553-the gardener at powderham} , and if it were possible to send any one so far , [she]_135-ellis would endeavor to get one for [me]_0-i ; [she]_135-ellis told [me]_0-i yesterday [she]_135-ellis had succeeded , and [I]_0-i thought [she]_135-ellis gave it [you]_120-caroline , as [I]_0-i begged [her]_135-ellis , directly ; [I]_0-i had no opportunity to tell [you]_120-caroline before , but [I]_0-i was so very , very sorry [I]_0-i had hurt [your]_120-caroline flower . " "_[135-ellis] [Ellis]_135-ellis was very wise to put it among the pretty things of this evening , instead of obeying [you]_120-caroline , " said [[her]_120-caroline uncle]_{519-her uncle} , kindly ; "_[135-ellis] and [I]_0-i really am glad that [your]_120-caroline great desire to replace it made [her]_135-ellis think of sending for it , for though [I]_0-i meant to have given [Caroline]_120-caroline another , [I]_0-i had so many things on [my]_0-i mind this week that it escaped [me]_0-i ; and [I]_0-i know they are so much sought for , [Wilson]_{180-frederic wilson} has scarcely ever one on hand . " "_[3546-papa] Indeed , [papa]_3546-papa , [you]_3546-papa were much too kind to think about it at all , " said [Caroline]_120-caroline , very earnestly . "_[3546-papa] [I]_0-i am afraid , if [you]_3546-papa knew how very cross and unkind the loss of the other made [me]_0-i , [you]_3546-papa would have withdrawn [your]_3546-papa idea of such indulgence . [I]_0-i am very much obliged to [you]_3546-papa , [Ellen]_113-ellen , " [she]_0-i continued much more cordially than [she]_0-i had yet spoken to [[her]_0-i cousin]_{4159-her cousin} ; "_[113-ellen] [I]_0-i did not deserve it even from [you]_3546-papa , for [I]_0-i worked [myself]_0-i into such an ill - temper , as almost to believe [you]_3546-papa did it purposely , and [I]_0-i had no right to think that . " It did indeed bear out [its]_4919-its language , that pretty flower , for , with this one coldness removed — though [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's trembling heart dared not hope it would be lasting — love now reigned pre - eminent . Every happy feeling increased when in the presents from [[their]_4920-their parents]_{947-their parents} each recognized something that had been wished for , though [they]_4920-their never remembered expressing it . [Mr.]_4922-mr. and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} were always united in these New Year 's gifts , though tokens of approval or occasional indulgences were often given separately . There were a set of most beautiful engravings for [Percy]_99-percy , which for the last three or four months [he]_99-percy had been most anxious to possess ; but with the recollection of former folly very fresh in [his]_99-percy memory , [he]_99-percy had actually succeeded in driving them from [his]_99-percy mind , and gave them up as unattainable , till [he]_99-percy was richer , at least . For [Herbert]_102-herbert there was a fine edition of [the Greek tragedians]_{4923-the greek tragedians} in [their]_{4923-the greek tragedians} original , as beautiful a work of art , in its "_[113-ellen] getting up , " as [Percy]_99-percy called it , as its letter - press , which to [Herbert]_102-herbert was beyond all price . [Edward]_76-edward was almost wild , as [[his]_76-edward uncle]_{443-his uncle} and aunt telling [him]_76-edward [he]_76-edward was fourteen next March , and might not be with [them]_{947-their parents} next New Year 's eve , presented [him]_76-edward with a treasure coveted beyond all other , a gold watch . ( [[His]_76-edward father]_{406-his father} 's had been given by [[his]_76-edward mother]_{330-his mother} as a parting gift to [Captain Cameron]_{116-captain cameron} . ) [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} declared that it was much too good for [a sailor]_{3421-a sailor} , and would be lost [his]_{128-mr. howard} first voyage ; [he]_{128-mr. howard} had much better hand it over to [the Rectory]_{4928-the rectory} , promising to take every care of it ; but looking so mischievous , [Edward]_76-edward vowed it should not get near [his]_{128-mr. howard} hand . For [Caroline]_120-caroline was a most complete and elegantly fitted - up embroidery - box , which quite charmed [her]_120-caroline , for it was exactly like , if not more tasteful and complete , than one [Annie Grahame]_129-annie had brought from [London]_13-london , and which [she]_120-caroline had wondered , [Caroline]_120-caroline could "_[113-ellen] exist " without . As [Mr.]_4929-mr. and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} found that [she]_120-caroline could not only comfortably "_[113-ellen] exist , " but much as [she]_120-caroline admired and had at first so coveted it , as to have a hard battle with discontent , [she]_120-caroline had never even hinted that it might be useful . As [they]_4930-they perceived that [her]_120-caroline mind was so happily engrossed by the idea of the pleasure [her]_120-caroline gifts would bestow , as not to cast a thought upon [Annie]_129-annie 's superior box , [they]_4930-they indulged [themselves]_4930-they and [[their]_4930-they child]_{4931-their child} , and were more than repaid by the beaming look of delight with which it was received . For [Emmeline]_78-emmeline was a parcel almost as large as [herself]_120-caroline , [Percy]_99-percy declared . "_[1555-you] A drawing - box all to [yourself]_1555-you , [Tiny]_130-tiny ! Thank goodness ! [My]_0-i chalks and pencils have some chance of being let alone ; [I]_0-i really ought to thank [mamma]_3420-mamma and [papa]_3546-papa quite as much , if not more , than [you]_1555-you , considering that in giving [you]_1555-you a new possession [they]_1558-they have preserved [me]_0-i an old one , which [I]_0-i began to suspect would desert [me]_0-i piece by piece . What , more ? " [he]_99-percy continued , laughing at [[his]_99-percy sister]_{561-his sister} 's almost scream of delight , as [she]_{561-his sister} undid the covering of a book , and found it to be the complete poem of [the "_[3420-mamma] Lady of [the Lake]_{1559-the lake}]_{4933-the " lady of the lake} , " extracts of which [she]_{561-his sister} had read in the reviews , and so reveled in them , [child]_3715-child as [she]_{561-his sister} was , as to commit them all to memory , with scarce an effort , only longing to know the whole story . "_[3420-mamma] And now , [Nelly]_113-ellen , what is [your]_113-ellen secret ? still larger than [Tiny]_130-tiny 's ; what can it be ? Come , guess ; [I]_0-i have [you]_113-ellen in [my]_0-i power , for [you]_113-ellen are not strong enough to race [me]_0-i as [Em]_121-emmy . would , and so [I]_0-i will be more merciful . What of all things would [you]_113-ellen like the best?—one , two , three guesses , and then [I]_0-i 'll relieve [you]_113-ellen ; [I]_0-i want to know if [papa]_3546-papa and [mamma]_3420-mamma have looked into [your]_113-ellen secret chamber of wishes , as [they]_1562-they have done in all of ours . " "_[3420-mamma] Do not be afraid of guessing , [Ellen]_113-ellen ; [you]_113-ellen are so very quiet , that [[your]_113-ellen secret chamber of wishes]_{1563-your secret chamber of wishes} , as [Percy]_99-percy calls it , is more concealed than any of the others , " said [[her]_113-ellen uncle]_{519-her uncle} , smiling ; "_[0-i] [I]_0-i am always obliged to refer to [[your]_113-ellen aunt]_{3426-your aunt} . " "_[0-i] Come , [Nell]_113-ellen , speak or [I]_0-i will indict [you]_113-ellen as unworthy of any thing . What did [you]_113-ellen say ? a desk ! Hurrah ! then , there it is ; and what a beauty — rosewood and mother - of - pearl — just fitted for [an elegant young lady]_{1565-an elegant young lady} . How could [mamma]_3420-mamma have found out so exactly ? [You]_113-ellen have used the old shabby thing [Herbert]_102-herbert lent [you]_113-ellen , as quietly and contentedly as if there could not be a better . Do let [us]_1567-us examine it ! " and [he]_{519-her uncle} dragged a table to [her]_{1565-an elegant young lady} sofa , and displayed to [the delighted child]_{4936-the delighted child} all its fittings - up , and its conveniences , and the pretty pen - holder and pencil - case , and fancy wafers , and sealing - wax , and a little gold seal with [her]_{1565-an elegant young lady} own name , and every thing that could possibly be thought of . "_[1567-us] And even a secret drawer , " exclaimed [Percy]_99-percy , quite proud of the discovery . "_[1567-us] Do look , [Ellen]_113-ellen ; why , [you]_113-ellen can keep all sorts of secrets there , for [no one]_{3540-no one} would be as clever as [I]_0-i am to find out the spring without being told , and of course [I]_0-i should not betray it : " and [he]_{519-her uncle} laughingly sent away every body while [he]_{519-her uncle} explained to [Ellen]_113-ellen the spring . For some little while longer did [the young party]_{3941-the young party} examine and re - examine and talk of [their]_{3941-the young party} own and [each other]_{938-each other} 's treasures . And then [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} bade [them]_{3941-the young party} remember , that , though it was New Year 's Eve , it was Sunday evening , too,[1 ] and that [he]_{519-her uncle} had deferred the hour of evening prayer till ten , that [they]_{3941-the young party} might have time to keep both , and so not lose the sacred music which was always part of [their]_{3941-the young party} Sunday recreation , to put away [their]_{3941-the young party} things , and adjourn to [[their]_{3941-the young party} music - room]_{4939-their music - room} . And [he]_{519-her uncle} was obeyed in a very few minutes ; for though [they]_{3941-the young party} might have preferred lingering and talking where [they]_{3941-the young party} were , what exertion could be too great for [those who so thought of]_{4940-those who so thought of} , so cared for [them]_{3941-the young party} ? Returning happiness had had such a beneficial effect , that , though [Ellen]_113-ellen still looked pale enough for [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} not to feel quite comfortable about [her]_113-ellen , [she]_113-ellen could walk without any return of pain , and in one or two hymns even join [her]_113-ellen voice with [[her]_113-ellen cousins]_{3955-her cousins} ' , though it was weaker than usual . However small in appearance the talent for music , still [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} cultivated it , in [[her]_113-ellen boys]_{4138-her boys} as well as [[her]_113-ellen girls]_{4027-her girls} , simply for the sake of giving [them]_{3941-the young party} home resources and amusements that could be pursued together ; [she]_113-ellen thought it such a mistaken notion in education to imagine that only perfection was worth attaining in the fine arts , and that , if there were not talent enough for that , it was better not attempted . Many [a home]_{4945-a home} might have envied the feelings with which [old and young]_{4946-old and young} , to [the lowest domestics]_{4947-the lowest domestics} , sought [their]_{4946-old and young} pillows that night ; for [Mr.]_4948-mr. and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , so lavish in [their]_4949-their indulgence to [[their]_4949-their children]_{3513-their children} , never forgot that for [[their]_4949-their domestics]_{4951-their domestics} and [retainers]_{4952-retainers} there were also claims on New Year 's Eve ; and [[the servants]_{4009-the servants} ' hall]_{4954-the servants ' hall} , and [every cottage which called [[Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} landlord]_{4956-mr. hamilton landlord}]_{4955-every cottage which called mr. hamilton landlord} , had vied in happiness with [his]_{4956-mr. hamilton landlord} own . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had visited [Ellen]_113-ellen the last thing , to see that [she]_113-ellen was quite comfortable , and that there was no return of pain ; and [she]_113-ellen was almost startled , and certainly still more bewildered as to how such a depth of feeling could exist with such a real childish liability to error , and why it should be so carefully concealed , by the way in which [Ellen]_113-ellen clung to [her]_113-ellen , as [she]_113-ellen bent over [her]_113-ellen to wish [her]_113-ellen good night , with the same unrestrained affection as [her]_113-ellen own [Emmeline]_78-emmeline did so often , with the only difference , that with the latter it seemed always to spring from the very exuberance of happiness , which could only be thus displayed . With [Ellen]_113-ellen , this night , it appeared like some deep , quiet feeling , almost of devotion , and as if — though [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's sober reason tried to persuade [her]_113-ellen imagination that it was too much meaning to attach to a mere embrace — [she]_113-ellen would thus tell [her]_113-ellen how intensely [she]_113-ellen felt , not only the indulgence of that evening , but the true kindness and watchful love which had caused the preceding sorrow . [She]_113-ellen might have thought , as no doubt many of [[our]_4957-our readers]_{524-our readers} will , that [Ellen]_113-ellen was much too young and too childish , to contrast [her]_113-ellen system of treatment with [[her]_113-ellen poor mother]_{1444-her poor mother} 's ; that [she]_113-ellen felt [her]_113-ellen soothing care in [her]_113-ellen hours of physical suffering — [her]_113-ellen indulgent love making no distinction between [her]_113-ellen and [[her]_113-ellen cousins]_{3955-her cousins} — still the more keenly and gratefully , from the recollection of [[her]_113-ellen own mother]_{3950-her own mother} 's constant preference of [Edward]_76-edward , and utter neglect of [her]_113-ellen ; and that this contrast so deepened the love [she]_113-ellen bore [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} , that it exceeded in intensity even that borne toward [her]_113-ellen by [her]_113-ellen own children.—Adults will think this all very fanciful , and perhaps interesting , but wholly improbable . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} [herself]_{81-mrs. hamilton} would have banished the idea , as too imaginary to be entertained seriously for a moment , as any guide for [her]_113-ellen conduct . [Ellen]_113-ellen [herself]_113-ellen could not have explained or told [herself]_113-ellen that so [she]_113-ellen felt ; and yet , notwithstanding , all [we]_4963-we have written was there , and was the real prompter of that almost passionate embrace . "_[0-i] Bless [you]_1569-you , [[my]_0-i darling]_{1103-my darling} ! " was [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's fond reply , instead of permitting [the child]_{346-the child} to perceive the surprise it excited in [herself]_{346-the child} ; and [Ellen]_113-ellen sunk to sleep , almost more happy than ever , in [her]_113-ellen little life , [she]_113-ellen had felt before . If the thought of [their]_4963-we promised ball were the first that entered the minds of [the young party at [Oakwood]_12-oakwood]_{4965-the young party at oakwood} , as [they]_{4965-the young party at oakwood} opened [their]_{4965-the young party at oakwood} eyes on New Year 's day , it was not very unnatural . [Percy]_99-percy gloried in the anticipation of being [master of the ceremonies]_{4966-master of the ceremonies} , and in conducting the whole affair with such inimitable grace and gallantry , that [every one]_{4967-every one} should declare it was far superior to any party , old or young , of the season , except [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} 's ; that was beyond [him]_99-percy , [he]_99-percy said , for [he]_99-percy could not put [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} 's head on [his]_99-percy shoulders . [Herbert]_102-herbert anticipated the enjoyment of [Mary Greville]_143-mary 's society , talking to and dancing with [her]_143-mary undisturbed , and to hearing the almost universal remark , what [a sweet girl]_{4968-a sweet girl} [she]_143-mary was . [Edward]_76-edward did not exactly know what [he]_76-edward expected , but [he]_76-edward was in such a mood of hilarity and mischief , that [the servants]_{4009-the servants} all declared [Master Fortescue]_{156-master fortescue} was "_[0-i] mazed . " To Caroline [their]_{4009-the servants} ball was almost always ( though unconfessedly ) the happiest evening in the year . [She]_143-mary knew [she]_143-mary was handsome — [Annie Grahame]_129-annie had told [her]_143-mary how very much [she]_143-mary would be admired in [London]_13-london , and that if [she]_143-mary were not [[her]_143-mary very dearest friend]_{4970-her very dearest friend} , [she]_143-mary should envy [her]_143-mary beauty terribly . [She]_143-mary often in secret longed painfully for admiration and homage ; and child as [she]_143-mary still was in years , yet at [[her]_143-mary own house]_{4971-her own house} , and as [[Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's eldest daughter]_{4972-mr. hamilton 's eldest daughter} , in addition to [her]_143-mary real attractions , [she]_143-mary always received both in sufficient measure , as to satisfy even [herself]_143-mary . [She]_143-mary delighted in those evenings when it so chanced that [[her]_143-mary brothers]_{4973-her brothers} had [young friends]_{4974-young friends} with [them]_{4973-her brothers} , making no hesitation in confessing that [she]_143-mary very much preferred conversing with [boys]_3688-boys than with [girls]_3687-girls , there was so much more variety , more spirit ; and though [[her]_143-mary mother]_{345-her mother} 's heart would actually tremble at the fearful ordeal which an introduction to the pleasures of [the world]_{592-the world} would be to such a character , still [she]_143-mary would not check the open expression of such sentiments by reproving [them]_4979-them as wrong , and not to be encouraged . [She]_143-mary knew that though education might do much , very much , it could not make [natural characters all alike]_{4980-natural characters all alike} ; nor , in fact , did [she]_143-mary wish it . [She]_143-mary did not grieve and complain that , with all [her]_143-mary efforts [she]_143-mary could not make [Caroline]_120-caroline give [her]_143-mary as little trouble and anxiety as [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , nor did [she]_143-mary imagine that [she]_143-mary should see the effect of [her]_143-mary earnest prayers and cares all at once , or without constant relapses in the cherished object of [her]_143-mary care . [She]_143-mary did all [she]_143-mary could to counteract a tendency which , situated as [she]_143-mary would be when [she]_143-mary entered life , must , without some strong , high principle , lead to suffering , and , perhaps , to sin — for what is coquetry ? But [she]_143-mary indulged in no idea of security , never believed that because [she]_143-mary had so tried , so striven to sow the good seed , it could not fail to bring forth good fruit . [She]_143-mary knew many trials might be in store for [her]_143-mary ; for how might [she]_143-mary hope to pass through life blessed as [she]_143-mary was then ? It might please [[her]_143-mary Father]_{435-her father} in [Heaven]_8-heaven to try [her]_143-mary faith and duty through those [she]_143-mary loved so intensely ; but if [she]_143-mary failed not in [her]_143-mary task , [he]_{435-her father} would bring [her]_143-mary joy at last . To [Emmeline]_78-emmeline the idea of dancing was quite enough to be the acme of enjoyment . The only drawback was , that in the intervals of rest , there was to be a little music , and though [[her]_143-mary mother]_{345-her mother} had excused [her]_143-mary at [[Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} 's]_{920-mr. howard 's} , [she]_143-mary knew that if [anybody]_4984-anybody expressed a wish to hear [her]_143-mary at [[her]_143-mary own house]_{4971-her own house} , play [she]_143-mary must ; and at those times [she]_143-mary was half sorry [she]_143-mary had chosen to learn the harp instead of the piano , as [Caroline]_120-caroline played so well on the latter instrument [nobody]_1284-nobody would care to hear [her]_143-mary ; but the harp was rather a novelty , and [no little girl who was coming]_{4987-no little girl who was coming} played it , and so [she]_143-mary was sadly afraid there was no escape for [her]_143-mary , and that was very disagreeable , but [she]_143-mary would not think about it till the time came ; the dancing to such music as that which [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had ordered from [Plymouth]_47-plymouth was joy enough . [Ellen]_113-ellen though rather afraid of so many [strangers]_{3543-strangers} , could not resist the general contagion of anticipated enjoyment . [She]_113-ellen did not indeed wake with the thought of the ball , but with the determination to learn the verse of the Psalm [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} had pointed out , and go and say it to [her]_{367-her aunt} in [[her]_{367-her aunt} dressing - room]_{4895-her dressing - room} before [she]_{367-her aunt} went down . And as the first verse was very short [she]_113-ellen learned two , and repeated them without missing a word , and so as if [she]_113-ellen quite understood them , that [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} was very much pleased ; and then [Ellen]_113-ellen could think of and join [[her]_113-ellen brother]_{384-her brother} 's and [cousins]_4716-cousins ' delight , even though [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} was obliged to be what [she]_{367-her aunt} called very cruel , but what [Ellen]_113-ellen knew was very kind , though it did seem a restraint , and keep [her]_113-ellen very quiet all day , instead of letting [her]_113-ellen run about from [room to room]_{4994-room to room} , as [Emmeline]_78-emmeline and [Edward]_76-edward , and even [Percy]_99-percy did , for fear of another headache ; and so well did quietness succeed , that [she]_113-ellen looked and was unusually well , and so was almost lively by the evening . Just before dinner , [Percy]_99-percy , who had gone to ride , because [he]_99-percy said [he]_99-percy was sure [he]_99-percy should get into some scrape if [he]_99-percy did not give a natural vent to [his]_99-percy spirits , galloped back in company with [a gentleman]_{254-a gentleman} , whose presence seemed to occasion [him]_99-percy still greater excitement . "_[0-i] Where is [[my]_0-i mother]_{890-my mother} ? and is [[my]_0-i father]_{3451-my father} at [home]_563-home ? " [he]_99-percy asked impatiently , flinging [his]_99-percy horse 's rein to [Robert]_102-herbert , desiring [him]_102-herbert to take every care of [the gentleman]_{4461-the gentleman} 's horse , as [he]_99-percy should not let [him]_102-herbert leave [Oakwood]_12-oakwood that night ; and rushing across [the hall]_{836-the hall} threw open the door of [[their]_4998-their common sitting - room]_{4999-their common sitting - room} , and exclaimed — "_{[3430-mother]} [Mother]_3430-mother , give [me]_0-i a vote of thanks and praise for [[my]_0-i invincible]_{1575-my invincible} eloquence!—Here is [this anchorite]_{1576-this anchorite} , [this monk of the moor , who , when [I]_0-i first encountered [him]_{1576-this anchorite} , seemed so doughty a denier of [my]_0-i wishes]_{1577-this monk of the moor , who , when i first encountered him , seemed so doughty a denier of my wishes} , actually conquered — led [a slave]_{3477-a slave} to [your]_3430-mother feet ; reward [me]_0-i by throwing all the fascinations [you]_3430-mother possibly can in [his]_{1576-this anchorite} way , that [he]_{1576-this anchorite} may only dream of [his]_{1576-this anchorite} cold ride and [desolate cottage on [Dartmoor]_41-dartmoor]_{1579-desolate cottage on dartmoor} to - night . " "_{[3477-a slave]} Be quiet , madcap ! " replied [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , rising with very evident pleasure , and coming forward with extended hand ; "_{[3430-mother]} [your]_3430-mother noisy welcome will not permit [mine]_3430-mother to be heard . This is indeed , a pleasure , [Mr. Morton]_{162-mr. morton} , " [she]_3430-mother added , addressing [the young clergyman]_{5000-the young clergyman} with that earnest kindness , which always goes to the heart , "_{[162-mr. morton]} and one that [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} will most highly appreciate — if , as [I]_0-i trust , the chains [[my]_0-i son]_{1406-my son} has thrown over [you]_3430-mother , are not so heavy as to become painful . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i should rather fear the pain will be in casting them off , [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , not in the wearing them , " replied [Mr. Morton]_{162-mr. morton} , almost sadly ; "_{[81-mrs. hamilton]} it is the knowledge , that mingling as often in [[your]_3430-mother home circle]_{1581-your home circle} as [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} and [[my]_0-i friend]_{1095-my friend} [Percy]_99-percy desire , would wholly unfit [me]_0-i for the endurance of [my]_0-i loneliness , that keeps [me]_0-i so aloof , believe [me]_0-i . Inclination would act a very different part , but there was no resisting such eloquence and such happiness as [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} to - day , " [he]_{162-mr. morton} continued , more gayly . And [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} and [Herbert]_102-herbert entering as [he]_{162-mr. morton} spoke , [their]_5001-their greeting was quite as warm and eager as [Percy]_99-percy 's and [[his]_99-percy mother]_{330-his mother} 's , and [Mr. Morton]_{162-mr. morton} gave [himself]_{162-mr. morton} up , for the evening at least , to enjoyment . [His]_{162-mr. morton} own generous nature had been particularly struck by [Percy]_99-percy 's manly conduct with regard to [his]_99-percy satire , and different as were [[their]_5001-their characters]_{4801-their characters} , a warm friendship from that moment commenced between [them]_5001-their . It was impossible to resist [Percy]_99-percy 's warm - heartedness of word and deed ; and that [he]_99-percy would sometimes leave [[his]_99-percy luxurious home]_{5004-his luxurious home} , and stay two or three days with [Mr. Morton]_{162-mr. morton} , seeming actually to enjoy [the rude cottage]_{5005-the rude cottage} and [[its]_{5005-the rude cottage} desolate localities]_{5006-its desolate localities} , and spread such a spirit of mirth within and around , that it was no wonder [the afflicted young man]_{5007-the afflicted young man} looked to [[his]_{5007-the afflicted young man} society]_{5008-his society} as almost [his]_{5007-the afflicted young man} greatest pleasure , especially as [he]_{5007-the afflicted young man} felt [he]_{5007-the afflicted young man} dared not too often accept [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's continually - proffered invitation . [Oakwood]_12-oakwood was [the home which had been]_{5009-the home which had been} [his]_{5007-the afflicted young man} beau idéal for long years , but which now seemed wholly unattainable . [He]_{5007-the afflicted young man} felt [himself]_{5007-the afflicted young man} doomed to solitude and suffering , and the struggle for content and cheerfulness was always more painful after [he]_{5007-the afflicted young man} had been with [[his]_{5007-the afflicted young man} friends]_{644-his friends} . When all preparations for the evening were concluded , even the respective toilets completed , [Percy]_99-percy and [Emmeline]_78-emmeline found it impossible to resist trying the spring , as [they]_1583-they called it , of the oaken floors ( whence the carpets had been removed ) , and amused [themselves]_1583-they by waltzing in the largest circle [they]_1583-they could make . [The beautiful suite of rooms]_{5011-the beautiful suite of rooms} were all thrown open , and perceiving [Caroline]_120-caroline standing by the piano in [an adjoining apartment]_{5012-an adjoining apartment} , [Percy]_99-percy called out — "_{[81-mrs. hamilton]} Play [us]_1583-they a waltz , [Caroline]_120-caroline , there 's a love ; the very liveliest [you]_120-caroline can find . [Tiny]_130-tiny and [I]_0-i want to try the boards while [we]_1583-they can enjoy them to perfection , that is , when [we]_1583-they are [the only persons in [the room]_{356-the room}]_{1584-the only persons in the room} . " "_[0-i] [You]_0-i must excuse [me]_0-i , [Percy]_99-percy , " [she]_0-i replied somewhat pettishly . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i should think [you]_99-percy would have dancing enough in the course of the evening ; and what will [[our]_1583-they friends]_{1586-our friends} think , if [they]_{1586-our friends} come and find [me]_0-i playing ? " "_{[1586-our friends]} Think ? why , that [you]_120-caroline are very obliging , which at present [you]_120-caroline are not , " answered [Percy]_99-percy , laughing ; "_{[120-caroline]} never mind , [Emmy]_121-emmy ; let [us]_1583-they try what [our]_1583-they united lungs will do . " "_[0-i] [You]_0-i may if [you]_99-percy like , [Percy]_99-percy , but really [I]_0-i am not clever enough to dance and sing at the same time — [I]_0-i should have no breath left , " was [her]_0-i as joyous rejoinder . "_[0-i] Come and dance , [Caroline]_120-caroline , if [you]_120-caroline will not play ; " exclaimed [Edward]_76-edward , who after decorating [his]_76-edward button - hole with a sprig of holly , seemed seized with [Percy]_99-percy 's dancing - mania . "_{[120-caroline]} Do give [me]_0-i an opportunity of practicing the graces before [I]_0-i am called upon to display them . " "_[0-i] [My]_0-i love of dancing is not so great as to attempt it without music , so practice by [yourself]_0-i , [Edward]_76-edward , " was [Caroline]_120-caroline 's quick reply . "_[0-i] Without [spectators]_{1587-spectators} , [you]_120-caroline mean , [Lina]_108-lina , " observed [[her]_120-caroline brother]_{384-her brother} , very dryly ; and as [Emmeline]_78-emmeline begged [him]_{384-her brother} not to tease [her]_108-lina , [he]_{384-her brother} asked — "_[108-lina] What has put [her]_108-lina in this ill - humor , [Emmy]_121-emmy ? " "_[121-emmy] Oh , [I]_0-i do n't know exactly ; but if [you]_120-caroline let [her]_108-lina alone , [she]_108-lina will soon recover it . " "_[108-lina] Well , to please [you]_120-caroline , [I]_0-i will ; for [you]_120-caroline look so pretty to - night , [I]_0-i can not resist [you]_120-caroline . " "_{[120-caroline]} Take care , [Percy]_99-percy , if [you]_99-percy try to turn [my]_0-i head with such speeches , [I]_0-i shall go to [Edward]_76-edward , and punish [you]_99-percy by not waltzing with [you]_99-percy , " said [[his]_3546-papa little sister]_{5014-his little sister} , shaking [her]_{5014-his little sister} head at [him]_3546-papa with a comic species of reproach . "_[0-i] That 's right , [Emmy]_121-emmy ; do not take flattery even from [a brother]_{1588-a brother} , " said [[her]_121-emmy father]_{435-her father} , coming forward with a smile ; "_[121-emmy] but will [you]_121-emmy not tire [yourself]_121-emmy by dancing already ? " "_[3546-papa] Oh , no , [papa]_3546-papa ; [I]_0-i feel as if [I]_0-i could dance all night without stopping . " "_[3546-papa] Not with [me]_0-i , [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , " rejoined [Percy]_99-percy , shrugging [his]_99-percy shoulders with horror at the idea ; "_{[78-emmeline]} [I]_0-i should cry [you]_78-emmeline mercy , before one half the time had elapsed . " "_[0-i] But if [you]_78-emmeline are not to be tired , will [you]_78-emmeline not spoil [your]_78-emmeline dress , and disorder all these flowing curls , " continued [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , "_{[78-emmeline]} and surely that will be a great misfortune . " "_[3546-papa] Indeed it will not , [papa]_3546-papa ; [Percy]_99-percy has surely too much regard for [me]_0-i , to willfully hurt [my]_0-i frock , and if [my]_0-i hair should be so troublesome as to get out of order , [Fanny]_170-fanny will re - arrange it in a few minutes . " "_[170-fanny] If [you]_3546-papa wish to cause alarm on that score , [[my]_0-i dear father]_{1432-my dear father} , " said [Percy]_99-percy , with marked emphasis , "_[3546-papa] [You]_78-emmeline must go to [Caroline]_120-caroline , not to [Emmeline]_78-emmeline . Thank goodness , [I]_0-i have [one sister]_{1592-one sister} above such petty misfortunes . " "_{[1592-one sister]} Are [you]_99-percy not too hard upon [Caroline]_120-caroline , [Percy]_99-percy ? " "_[3546-papa] Yes , [papa]_3546-papa , [he]_3546-papa is indeed ; do not mind what [he]_3546-papa says , " answered [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , very eagerly ; but [Percy]_99-percy said impetuously — "_[3546-papa] [I]_0-i am not , [Emmeline]_78-emmeline . [I]_0-i would lay any wager that some thing has gone wrong with [her]_120-caroline dressing , to - night , and so made [her]_120-caroline pettish . [Her]_120-caroline frock is not smart enough , or [she]_120-caroline does not wear the ornaments [she]_120-caroline wished , or some such thing . " [Caroline]_120-caroline had fortunately quitted [the music - room]_{5016-the music - room} , or this speech would not have tended to restore [her]_120-caroline serenity ; but before [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} could reply , [Edward]_76-edward , who had been to seek [Ellen]_113-ellen , burst into [the room]_{356-the room} exclaiming — "_{[78-emmeline]} Now , [Percy]_99-percy , [we]_1594-we may have a proper waltz ; [aunt Emmeline]_78-emmeline says [we]_1594-we may have just one before [any one]_{393-any one} comes , and here [she]_120-caroline is to play for [us]_1594-we , and [Ellen]_113-ellen for [[my]_0-i partner]_{1596-my partner} , " and [they]_1594-we enjoyed it in earnest . [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} watched [them]_1594-we for a few minutes , and then went to seek [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} elder girl]_{602-his elder girl} . [She]_{602-his elder girl} was alone in [a little room]_{5019-a little room} prepared for refreshments , tastefully arranging some beautiful flowers in a bouquet . [She]_{602-his elder girl} looked up as [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} entered , and so smiled that [[her]_{602-his elder girl} fond father]_{5020-her fond father} thought [Percy]_99-percy must be wrong , for there certainly seemed no trace of ill - temper . "_{[120-caroline]} Why are [you]_1597-you not with [[your]_1597-you brothers]_{1598-your brothers} and sister in [the drawing - room]_{1599-the drawing - room} , [[my]_0-i dear]_{3485-my dear} ? and why did [you]_1597-you just now refuse [[your]_1597-you brother]_{3473-your brother} such a trifling favor as playing a waltz ? " [he]_3546-papa asked , but so kindly , that [Caroline]_120-caroline , though [she]_120-caroline blushed deeply , instantly replied — "_[1597-you] Because , [papa]_3546-papa , [my]_0-i temper was not quite restored ; [I]_0-i went into [the music - room]_{5016-the music - room} to try [mamma]_3420-mamma 's remedy of solitude for a few minutes , but [Percy]_99-percy spoke to [me]_0-i before [I]_0-i had succeeded . [I]_0-i know [I]_0-i answered [him]_{3473-your brother} pettishly , but indeed , [papa]_3546-papa , " [she]_0-i added , looking up earnestly in [his]_3546-papa face , "_[3546-papa] indeed [he]_{3473-your brother} is very provoking sometimes . " "_{[3473-your brother]} [I]_0-i know [he]_{3473-your brother} is , [[my]_0-i love]_{3456-my love} ; [he]_{3473-your brother} does not always know how to time [his]_{3473-your brother} jokes , or to make sufficient allowance for dispositions not exactly like [his]_{3473-your brother} own ; but tell [me]_0-i , what first occasioned temper so to fail that solitude was necessary . " [Caroline]_120-caroline 's blush became still deeper , and [she]_0-i turned away [her]_0-i head saying , very hesitatingly — "_[0-i] For such a very , very silly reason , [papa]_3546-papa , that [I]_0-i do not like to tell [you]_3546-papa . " "_[0-i] Nay , [[my]_0-i dear]_{3485-my dear} , do not fear that [I]_0-i shall either laugh at or reproach [you]_{3485-my dear} . If [you]_{3485-my dear} feel [yourself]_{3485-my dear} how very silly it was , [I]_0-i am not afraid of its gaining too great ascendency , even if [you]_{3485-my dear} fail again . " "_[0-i] It was only — only — that [I]_0-i was not quite satisfied with the dress [mamma]_80-mamma desired [me]_0-i to wear to - night , [papa]_3546-papa ; that was all , indeed . " "_[80-mamma] [You]_{3485-my dear} wished , perhaps , to wear a smarter one , [[my]_0-i love]_{3456-my love} , " replied [[her]_{3456-my love} father]_{435-her father} , kissing [her]_{3456-my love} glowing cheek so affectionately , that the pain of [her]_{3456-my love} confession was instantly soothed ; "_[0-i] but , indeed , [I]_0-i think [mamma]_3420-mamma has shown a much better taste . It requires more care than [you]_{3485-my dear} are yet perhaps aware of to dress so exactly according to [our]_1612-our age and station , as to do [ourselves]_1612-our justice , and yet excite no unpleasant feelings in those of [a lower]_{1613-a lower} , and no contempt in those of a higher grade . [Many of [[our]_1612-our friends who are coming to - night]_{1615-our friends who are coming to - night} could not afford to dress [[their]_{1614-many of our friends who are coming to - night could not afford to dress their children as we might ours} children]_{3513-their children} as [we]_1612-our might [ours]_1612-our]_{1614-many of our friends who are coming to - night could not afford to dress their children as we might ours} , and do [you]_{3485-my dear} not think it would be both inhospitable and unkind , by being over - dressed , to excite any unpleasant feeling of inferiority in [their]_{3513-their children} minds , when actually none exists ? for difference of fortune alone can never constitute inferiority . [I]_0-i am wizard enough to guess that was [mamma]_3420-mamma 's reason for [your]_{3485-my dear} being attired so simply and yet so prettily to - night , and equally wizard enough to guess [your]_{3485-my dear} reason for wishing to be smarter — shall [I]_0-i tell it [you]_{3485-my dear} ? " [he]_{3485-my dear} added , playfully . "_[0-i] Because [you]_{3485-my dear} fancy [Miss Grahame]_{145-miss grahame} will be attired in such a very fashionable [London]_13-london costume , that [yours]_{3485-my dear} will appear so very plain and so childish . [I]_0-i see by that conscious smile , [I]_0-i have guessed correctly ; but , indeed , [I]_0-i would not exchange [[my]_0-i dear]_{3485-my dear} ingenuous [Caroline]_120-caroline , even were [she]_120-caroline attired in [the cottager]_{1619-the cottager} 's stuff frock for [Annie Grahame]_129-annie , did [she]_120-caroline bring [worlds]_1620-worlds as [her]_120-caroline dowry . And as [you]_{3485-my dear} like ornaments , wear this , " [he]_{3470-your father} added , tastefully twining a superb sprig of scarlet geranium in the rich dark hair that shaded [Caroline]_120-caroline 's noble brow ; "_[3420-mamma] and if [mamma]_3420-mamma inquires , tell [her]_3420-mamma [[your]_{3485-my dear} father]_{3470-your father} placed it there , as a token of [his]_{3470-your father} approbation , for temper conquered and truth unhesitatingly spoken — spite of pain . " [Caroline]_120-caroline 's brilliant eye sparkled with a more delightful sense of pleasure than any triumph of dress could have bestowed , and in answer to [[her]_120-caroline father]_{435-her father} 's inquiry , for whom [she]_120-caroline had arranged such a beautiful bouquet , [she]_120-caroline said — "_[3420-mamma] It is for [mamma]_3420-mamma , [dear papa]_{845-dear papa} — [Emmeline]_78-emmeline is always before [me]_0-i ; but [I]_0-i think the idea of to - night 's enjoyment has so bewildered [her]_3420-mamma , that [she]_3420-mamma has forgotten it , so [I]_0-i may just have time to present it before [any one]_{393-any one} comes , " and [she]_120-caroline hastened with [[her]_120-caroline father]_{435-her father} to [the drawing - room]_{1599-the drawing - room} , where [she]_120-caroline found [Mrs. Greville]_{140-mrs. greville} and [[her]_{140-mrs. greville} two children]_{5025-her two children} ( for [Alfred]_158-alfred was at [home]_563-home for a few months ) , in addition to [Mr. Morton]_{162-mr. morton} and [[their]_5027-their own family group]_{5028-their own family group} ; and [the young clergyman]_{5000-the young clergyman} could not but admire the natural grace with which [Caroline]_120-caroline , after warmly welcoming [[her]_120-caroline guests]_{807-her guests} , presented [her]_120-caroline flowers to [[her]_120-caroline mother]_{345-her mother} . It was a very little thing , but the joys and griefs of [home]_563-home are almost all made up of little things , and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} was pleased , not from the attention alone , but that it proved , trifling as it was , that the annoyance and discontent which [her]_120-caroline command had occasioned in [[her]_120-caroline child]_{350-her child} had left no unkind feeling behind them ; and the manner with which [she]_120-caroline received it made [Caroline]_120-caroline very happy , for [she]_120-caroline had inwardly feared [her]_120-caroline ill - temper not only deserved , but had excited [[her]_120-caroline mother]_{345-her mother} 's displeasure . [Emmeline]_78-emmeline 's look of disappointment and self - reproach at [her]_78-emmeline own unusual forgetfulness was so irresistibly comic , that [Percy]_99-percy and [Edward]_76-edward burst into an immoderate fit of laughter , which [the former]_{313-the former} only checked to ask [Caroline]_120-caroline where [she]_120-caroline had been , and what [she]_120-caroline had done , to produce such an extraordinary change for the better in [her]_120-caroline appearance in so short a time . "_[3420-mamma] Oh , [you]_1626-you have no right to [my]_0-i secrets , [Percy]_99-percy , " was [her]_0-i perfectly good - humored reply ; "_[99-percy] [I]_0-i do not think [I]_0-i shall answer [you]_1626-you , except by having the charity to refer [you]_1626-you to [papa , who has produced the change]_{1627-papa , who has produced the change} . " "_{[1627-papa , who has produced the change]} By means of this pretty flower then , [I]_0-i imagine , " said [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} ; "_[0-i] its power [I]_0-i do not pretend to know , but the taste with which it is placed might vie with that of [the most fashionable artiste of [the metropolis]_{4032-the metropolis}]_{1628-the most fashionable artiste of the metropolis} . [Mrs. Greville]_{140-mrs. greville} , do unite with [me]_0-i in congratulating [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} on [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} new accomplishment . " The rapid succession of arrivals prevented any further remark , and very speedily the inspiring sound of the beautiful music , which was stationed in [a sort of ante - chamber between [the drawing - room]_{1599-the drawing - room} and [ball - room]_{5038-ball - room}]_{5036-a sort of ante - chamber between the drawing - room and ball - room} , removed any thing like stiffness or reserve which [the younger guests]_{5039-the younger guests} might have at first experienced among [themselves]_{5039-the younger guests} . After two or three quadrilles , the spirit of enjoyment seemed to reign alone , not only among [the dancers [themselves]_{5040-the dancers themselves}]_{5040-the dancers themselves} , but even [those who sat out and talked , either from preference or because the sets were full]_{5041-those who sat out and talked , either from preference or because the sets were full} . [Percy]_99-percy , [[his]_99-percy brother]_{715-his brother} , and [cousin]_5043-cousin , were so active , so universal in [their]_{5040-the dancers themselves} attention and politeness , that [all]_4750-all had the same measure of enjoyment ; there was no sitting down four or five times consecutively for any one , and therefore neither weariness nor dissatisfaction . Where there is a great desire in [the givers of a party]_{5045-the givers of a party} to make every one as happy as [themselves]_{5045-the givers of a party} , and thoroughly to enjoy it , [they]_{5045-the givers of a party} seldom fail to succeed . And there was such a variety of amusements in [the various rooms that were thrown open]_{5046-the various rooms that were thrown open} , suitable for all ages — from [the mammas and papas]_{5047-the mammas and papas} to [the youngest child]_{5048-the youngest child} , that it was scarcely possible to feel any thing but pleasure . Very many sets had been formed and danced before [the Grahame family]_{5049-the grahame family} appeared , and as [Caroline]_120-caroline glanced at [[her]_120-caroline friend]_{535-her friend} and even at [[her]_120-caroline little sister]_{5051-her little sister} , it required a very vivid recollection of [[her]_120-caroline father]_{435-her father} 's words to prevent a feeling of false shame , while [Annie]_129-annie looked at [Emmeline]_78-emmeline and even [her]_129-annie favorite [Caroline]_120-caroline for a few minutes with almost contempt . "_{[81-mrs. hamilton]} [People]_1055-people talk so very much of [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's taste , " [she]_0-i thought , "_{[81-mrs. hamilton]} but [she]_1631-she can have none in dress , that 's certain — why [no one]_{3540-no one} could distinguish [[her]_1631-she daughters]_{533-her daughters} from [the poorest gentleman]_{1634-the poorest gentleman} 's here!—But [no one]_{3540-no one} can mistake [my]_0-i rank . Thank goodness , there is not a dress like [mine]_0-i — how it will be envied ! " If looks were evidence of envy , [Annie]_129-annie had them to [her]_129-annie heart 's content , but how would [she]_129-annie have been mortified , could [she]_129-annie have read the secret meaning of those looks , the contrast drawn between the manners and appearance of [[Lady Helen]_{127-lady helen} 's daughters]_{5053-lady helen 's daughters} and those of [the Honorable Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} . [Lady Helen]_{127-lady helen} [herself]_{127-lady helen} , indeed , when [she]_{127-lady helen} saw [Caroline]_120-caroline and [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , was quite provoked that [she]_{127-lady helen} had been so weak as to permit , and even encourage [Annie]_129-annie , to select [her]_129-annie own and [[her]_129-annie sister]_{325-her sister} 's costume . "_[1636-you] [You]_1636-you are so late , " said [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , as [she]_0-i came forward to greet [them]_1636-you , "_[1636-you] that [I]_0-i almost gave [you]_1636-you up , fearing [I]_0-i do n't exactly know what . [I]_0-i do hope nothing unpleasant has occasioned it . " "_[0-i] Oh , no , " was [Mr. Grahame]_{148-mr. grahame} 's reply , and it was almost bitter ; "_[0-i] only [Miss Grahame]_{145-miss grahame} was so dreadfully afraid of being unfashionably early , that [[her]_{145-miss grahame} mother]_{345-her mother} did not choose to come before — indeed , [my]_0-i patience and [my]_0-i little [Lilla]_169-lilla 's was so exhausted , that [we]_1638-we thought of leaving [Cecil]_159-cecil to be [[their]_1638-we beau]_{1639-their beau} , and coming alone an hour ago . " [Lady Helen]_{127-lady helen} 's look of entreaty at [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} was answered by [her]_0-i saying directly — "_[0-i] [I]_0-i suppose [Annie]_129-annie was thinking of [her]_129-annie [London]_13-london parties , and forgot how completely Gothic [we]_1638-we are as to hours and every thing else in [Devonshire]_{11-devonshire} . But [you]_129-annie must try and forget such superior pleasures to - night , [[my]_0-i dear girl]_{1640-my dear girl} , " [she]_0-i added , jestingly , though [the young lady]_{683-the young lady} felt it rather uncomfortably as earnest , "_[0-i] or [I]_0-i fear [you]_129-annie will find but little amusement . " [Alfred Greville]_142-alfred at that moment came to claim [Annie]_129-annie as [[his]_142-alfred partner]_{5056-his partner} , and [she]_129-annie gladly joined [him]_142-alfred , for though [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had "_[0-i] certainly no taste in dress , " [she]_129-annie never felt quite at [her]_129-annie ease in [her]_129-annie presence . [Cecil]_159-cecil and [Lilla]_169-lilla were soon provided with [little partners]_{5057-little partners} , and dancing with much more real delight than [[their]_5058-their sister]_{5059-their sister} . It was scarcely possible for [any one]_{393-any one} , much less [a parent]_{451-a parent} , to look at [Caroline]_120-caroline that night without admiration . [She]_120-caroline was so animated , so graceful , so pleasing , and as such completely the center of attraction ( and really without any effort on [her]_120-caroline part ) to [all the gentlemen , young or old in [the room]_{356-the room}]_{5062-all the gentlemen , young or old in the room} . [The lads]_{4126-the lads} congregated round [her]_120-caroline , and it was rather a difficult task to keep clear of offense , when so very many more entreated [her]_120-caroline to dance than the length of the evening permitted ; but [she]_120-caroline managed to talk to all , and yet not to neglect any of [her]_120-caroline own sex , for [she]_120-caroline always refused to dance , if [she]_120-caroline fancied [her]_120-caroline being in a quadrille prevented [any couple who had not danced so much , and at those times contrived to conciliate five or six instead of only one]_{5065-any couple who had not danced so much , and at those times contrived to conciliate five or six instead of only one} . [Emmeline]_78-emmeline took charge of [the younger children]_{5066-the younger children} , often refusing to dance with [older boys]_{5067-older boys} , who would have made [her]_120-caroline much pleasanter partners , that [she]_120-caroline might join the little quadrille and set [them]_{5066-the younger children} all right . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i am really glad to see [Ellen]_113-ellen among [us]_1641-we to - night , and seeming truly to enjoy [herself]_113-ellen , " said [Mrs. Greville]_{140-mrs. greville} , addressing [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , who was standing rather apart at the moment , watching [Caroline]_120-caroline with such mingled feelings of pride and dread , that [she]_0-i was quite glad when [[her]_0-i friend]_{535-her friend} 's voice disturbed [her]_0-i train of thought . "_[113-ellen] [She]_113-ellen looked so ill in [church]_3975-church yesterday , that [I]_0-i half feared [we]_1641-we should not see [her]_113-ellen . [I]_0-i told [her]_113-ellen [I]_0-i was quite grieved that [she]_113-ellen was too unwell to be at [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} 's last Friday , and — " "_[113-ellen] What did [she]_113-ellen say ? " inquired [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , anxiously . "_[113-ellen] That it was not illness which prevented [her]_113-ellen ; but [she]_113-ellen looked so confused and pained that [I]_0-i changed the subject directly , and the smile soon came back . " "_[0-i] [You]_0-i touched on a very painful theme , " replied [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , with real relief ; "_[0-i] [Ellen]_113-ellen and [I]_0-i were not quite as good friends as [we]_1641-we usually are , last week , and [[my]_0-i poor little girl]_{1643-my poor little girl} felt [my]_0-i severity more than [I]_0-i imagined or meant . [I]_0-i gave [her]_113-ellen to [[your]_0-i dear]_{1644-your dear} [Mary]_143-mary 's especial care to - night , for [she]_113-ellen is so timid , that left quite to [herself]_113-ellen , [I]_0-i was afraid it would be more pain than pleasure . [Mary]_143-mary has taken [my]_0-i hint most admirably , for [Ellen]_113-ellen seems quite happy . " "_[113-ellen] It would be rather hard , if [[your]_0-i little niece]_{1645-your little niece} 's were the only sad face in this scene of enjoyment ; surely , if ever there were happiness without alloy , it is here . " "_[0-i] If [you]_0-i think so [Mrs. Greville]_{140-mrs. greville} , [you]_0-i will agree with [[my]_0-i friend]_{1095-my friend} [Morton]_{162-mr. morton} , who has just been half poetizing half philosophizing on this scene , " said [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} joining [them]_5069-them , with [the young clergyman]_{5000-the young clergyman} leaning on [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} arm . "_{[162-mr. morton]} [He]_{162-mr. morton} says there is something singularly interesting in watching the countenances and movements of [children]_{3553-children} , and in tracing the dawnings of [respective characters]_{1648-respective characters} . " "_{[162-mr. morton]} [You]_0-i are not one of those , then , who think childhood a mere negative species of existence , " rejoined [Mrs. Greville]_{140-mrs. greville} . "_{[162-mr. morton]} Indeed [I]_0-i do not ; there is much more pleasure to [me]_0-i in watching such a scene , than a similar one of [adults]_4656-adults . It is full of that kind of poetry , which , from the beauty and freshness of the present , creates a future of happiness or sorrow , good or evil , as something in each countenance seems dimly to foretell . How many will be the longing thoughts thrown back in after years upon to - night ! " "_[0-i] Do [you]_0-i think then childhood the happiest season of life ? " [He]_{81-mrs. hamilton} answered in the affirmative , but [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} shook [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} head . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i differ from [you]_0-i , [[my]_0-i good friend]_{1650-my good friend} , " [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} said . "_[0-i] [Childhood]_{181-childhood} feels its griefs as bitterly as those of maturer years . [We]_1651-we are apt to think it was all joy in the retrospect , perhaps because it has not the anxiety and cares of riper years , but sorrow itself is felt as keenly . From reason not being perfectly formed , the difficulty to control self - will , to acquiesce in the , to [them]_{3553-children} , incomprehensible wishes of [parents]_4850-parents or [guardians]_{1513-guardians} , the restraint [they]_{3553-children} are often compelled to use , must be all trials even to [well - regulated children]_{1654-well - regulated children} , and to [those subject to the caprices of weakness , indolence , neglect , indulgence at one time , and tyranny at another]_{1655-those subject to the caprices of weakness , indolence , neglect , indulgence at one time , and tyranny at another} , feelings disbelieved in , and therefore never studied or soothed — the little heart thrown back upon itself — [Morton]_{162-mr. morton} , believe [me]_0-i , these are trials as full of suffering , and as hard to be endured , as those which belong to manhood . " "_{[162-mr. morton]} [You]_{162-mr. morton} may be right , " replied [Morton]_{162-mr. morton} ; "_{[162-mr. morton]} but do [you]_{162-mr. morton} not think there is an elasticity in childhood which flings off sorrow , and can realize happiness sooner than older years ? " "_{[162-mr. morton]} Undoubtedly , and most happy it is that [they]_{3553-children} are so constituted , else what would become of [them]_{3553-children} if [their]_{3553-children} susceptibilities for either joy or sorrow are equally quick . If [the former]_{313-the former} did not balance the latter , how would [their]_{3553-children} tender frames and quick affections bear [their]_{3553-children} burden ? The idea that childhood is in itself the happiest season in life is so far mischievous , that it prevents the necessary care and watchfulness , which alone can make it so . But [we]_1651-we must not philosophize any more , for it has made [us]_1651-we all grave . [I]_0-i see [[my]_0-i wife]_{1429-my wife} is addressing [Miss Grahame]_{145-miss grahame} , and [I]_0-i think it is for music . Come , [Morton]_{162-mr. morton} , take [Mrs. Greville]_{140-mrs. greville} to [the music - room]_{5016-the music - room} , and woo melody instead of poetry for the next half hour . [Miss Grahame]_{145-miss grahame} promises to be [a very fair musician]_{1659-a very fair musician} , so [you]_{162-mr. morton} will be charmed . " [They]_{3553-children} adjourned to [the music - room]_{5016-the music - room} , where [Percy]_99-percy had already gallantly conducted [Annie]_129-annie , and [several of [the guests]_{5073-the guests}]_{5072-several of the guests} , [young and old]_{3902-young and old} , seconded the move : [Annie Grahame]_129-annie really played remarkably well , so far as execution and brilliancy were concerned , and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} was delighted at the expression of [Grahame]_129-annie 's face as [he]_1660-he listened to [[his]_1660-he child]_{3707-his child} and the applause [she]_129-annie excited . "_{[145-miss grahame]} Why will [he]_1660-he not try to win [his]_1660-he home - affections , " [she]_129-annie thought , "_[1660-he] when [he]_1660-he is so formed to enjoy them ? and why , why has [Helen]_{127-lady helen} so indolently , so foolishly cast away [her]_{127-lady helen} happiness ? " was the thought that followed at the contrast which [Lady Helen]_{127-lady helen} 's face presented to [[her]_{127-lady helen} husband]_{340-her husband} 's ; [she]_129-annie knew [Annie]_129-annie played well , [she]_129-annie had heard it from [very superior judges]_{5077-very superior judges} , and how could it concern [her]_129-annie what [the present company]_{5078-the present company} thought ? A very pretty vocal duet from [the two sisters]_{5079-the two sisters} followed , and soon afterward [Caroline]_120-caroline approached the music - stand , near which [Percy]_99-percy and [Mr. Morton]_{162-mr. morton} were talking , and [Percy]_99-percy , with [his]_99-percy usual love of provoking , exclaimed — "_[1661-you] [You]_1661-you surely are not going to play after [Miss Grahame]_{145-miss grahame} , [Caroline]_120-caroline . If [your]_1661-you powers deserted [you]_1661-you a few hours ago , and prevented the execution of a waltz , [they]_1662-they would certainly do [you]_1661-you a charity in deserting [you]_1661-you completely now . " [Caroline]_120-caroline 's cheek burned , but [she]_120-caroline answered , with spirit — "_[80-mamma] [Mamma]_80-mamma desired [me]_0-i to oblige [[my]_0-i friends]_{1663-my friends} , [Percy]_99-percy ; and [she]_80-mamma would not do so , if [she]_80-mamma thought [I]_0-i should disgrace [myself]_0-i or [her]_80-mamma . " "_[80-mamma] Do not heed [[your]_1661-you brother]_{3473-your brother} , [Miss Hamilton]_{182-miss hamilton} , " interposed [Mr. Morton]_{162-mr. morton} , taking the music from [her]_1661-you , and offering [her]_1661-you [his]_{162-mr. morton} arm to lead [her]_1661-you to the piano . "_{[182-miss hamilton]} [I]_0-i have had the pleasure of hearing [you]_1661-you often , and those who can not find an equal , if not superior charm in [your]_1661-you playing to [Miss Grahame]_{145-miss grahame} 's do not deserve to listen . " "_[1661-you] Nay , [you]_1661-you must be flattering , [Mr. Morton]_{162-mr. morton} ; think of [Annie]_129-annie 's advantages . " "_{[162-mr. morton]} Indeed , [[my]_0-i dear]_{3485-my dear} [Miss Hamilton]_{182-miss hamilton} , [yours]_1661-you exceed [hers]_{145-miss grahame} ; [no master]_{1666-no master} 's heart is in [[his]_{1666-no master} pupil]_{1667-his pupil} 's progress , as [a mother]_{3503-a mother} 's in [[her]_{3503-a mother} child]_{350-her child} 's , even should [she]_{3503-a mother} not teach , but merely superintend . " [Caroline]_120-caroline was seated at the instrument as [he]_{162-mr. morton} spoke , and there was something in [his]_{162-mr. morton} few words touching a right chord ; for as [she]_120-caroline began to play [she]_120-caroline certainly thought more of [[her]_120-caroline mother]_{345-her mother} than [any one else]_{383-any one else} ; and determined , if possible , that [others]_756-others should think with [Mr. Morton]_{162-mr. morton} , forgetting at the moment that [very few , except [[their]_756-others own immediate circle]_{5084-their own immediate circle} , knew whose pupil [she]_120-caroline was , not imagining that [the mistress of [Oakwood]_12-oakwood]_{5085-the mistress of oakwood} and [its]_{5085-the mistress of oakwood} large possessions could have time or inclination for any part of the education of [[her]_{5085-the mistress of oakwood} daughters]_{533-her daughters}]_{5083-very few , except their own immediate circle , knew whose pupil she was , not imagining that the mistress of oakwood and its large possessions could have time or inclination for any part of the education of her daughters} . [Morton]_{162-mr. morton} was certainly right as to the amount of admiration , equaling , if not surpassing , that bestowed on [Miss Grahame]_{145-miss grahame} ; there was a soul , a depth of expression and feeling , in [Caroline]_120-caroline 's far simpler piece , that won its way to the heart at once , and if it did not surprise as much , it pleased more , and excited an earnest wish to listen to [her]_120-caroline again . "_{[3503-a mother]} Does not [[your]_1670-your younger daughter]_{1671-your younger daughter} play ? " inquired [a lady]_{288-a lady} , who had been much attracted with [Emmeline]_78-emmeline . "_{[1671-your younger daughter]} Very little , compared with [[her]_{1671-your younger daughter} sister]_{325-her sister} , " replied [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} ; "_{[1671-your younger daughter]} [she]_{1671-your younger daughter} is not nearly so fond of it , and therefore does not devote so much time to its acquirement just yet . " "_{[1671-your younger daughter]} Do [you]_1670-your think it right to permit [children]_{3553-children} to follow [their]_{3553-children} own inclinations with regard to [their]_{3553-children} education ? " asked [another rather stern - looking lady]_{5088-another rather stern - looking lady} , with much surprise . "_[1670-your] Only with regard to [their]_{3553-children} accomplishments ; [[my]_0-i [Emmeline]_78-emmeline]_{1674-my emmeline} is as fond of drawing as [Caroline]_120-caroline is of music , and therefore [I]_0-i indulge [her]_78-emmeline by permitting [her]_78-emmeline to give more time to the one , than to the other . " "_[1670-your] But do [you]_1670-your think natural taste can be traced so early ? that it can be distinguished from idleness or perverseness ? " "_[0-i] Indeed , [I]_0-i do , " replied [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , earnestly . "_[0-i] If [a child]_{265-a child} be allowed leisure to choose [its]_{265-a child} own pursuits , and not always confined to the routine of [a school - room]_{1676-a school - room} , natural taste for some employment in preference to another will , [I]_0-i think , always display itself . Not that [I]_0-i would depend entirely on that , because [I]_0-i think it right and useful to cultivate a taste for all the fine arts , only giving more time to that which is the favorite . [[My]_0-i niece]_{1677-my niece} has shown no decided taste for any particular pursuit yet ; but [I]_0-i do not neglect the cultivation of accomplishments on that account ; if , in a few years , a preference manifests itself , it will be quite time enough to work hard at that particular branch . " "_[1670-your] Is that pretty little harp used by [either of [[your]_1670-your daughters]_{1679-your daughters}]_{1678-either of your daughters} ? " inquired [the first speaker]_{5089-the first speaker} . "_{[1678-either of your daughters]} It looks very much as if it were the especial property of [[my]_0-i engaging little friend]_{1680-my engaging little friend} . " "_{[1678-either of your daughters]} [Your]_1670-your guess is correct , " replied [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , smiling "_[1670-your] [Emmeline]_78-emmeline was quite sure [she]_78-emmeline should hate music , if [she]_78-emmeline must learn the great ugly piano . If [she]_78-emmeline might only have a harp , [she]_78-emmeline would do all [she]_78-emmeline could to learn , and [she]_78-emmeline really has . " "_{[78-emmeline]} And may [we]_1681-we not hear [her]_78-emmeline ? " "_{[78-emmeline]} When [the room]_{356-the room} is not quite so full : [she]_78-emmeline has not half [[her]_78-emmeline sister]_{325-her sister} 's confidence , and so large an audience would frighten away all [her]_78-emmeline little powers ; but [I]_0-i will promise [you]_1670-your a very sweet song instead , " [she]_0-i added , as [Herbert]_102-herbert approached , and eagerly whispered some request . "_[0-i] That is , if [my]_0-i persuasions can prevail on [[my]_0-i young friend]_{1684-my young friend} ; [Mrs. Greville]_{140-mrs. greville} , must [I]_0-i ask [your]_{140-mrs. greville} influence , or will [mine]_0-i be enough ? " "_[0-i] What , with [Mary]_143-mary ? [I]_0-i rather think , [your]_{140-mrs. greville} request in this case will be of more weight than [mine]_0-i ; " and a few minutes afterward [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} led [the blushing , timid girl]_{5090-the blushing , timid girl} in triumph to the piano . [Her]_{5090-the blushing , timid girl} voice , which was peculiarly sweet and thrilling , though not strong , trembled audibly as [she]_{5090-the blushing , timid girl} commenced ; but [Herbert]_102-herbert was turning over the leaves of [her]_{5090-the blushing , timid girl} music , [[his]_102-herbert mother]_{330-his mother} was standing close beside [her]_{5090-the blushing , timid girl} , and after the first few bars [her]_{5090-the blushing , timid girl} enthusiastic spirit forgot the presence of all , save those [she]_{5090-the blushing , timid girl} loved , and the spirit of [her]_{5090-the blushing , timid girl} song . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} never listened to and looked at [her]_{5090-the blushing , timid girl} at such moments without a trembling foreboding [she]_{5090-the blushing , timid girl} vainly struggled to overcome . There was something in those deep blue , earnest eyes , the hectic color that with the least exertion rose to [her]_{5090-the blushing , timid girl} cheek , the transparency of complexion , the warm and elevated spirit , the almost angel temper and endurance in [her]_{5090-the blushing , timid girl} peculiarly tried lot , that scarcely seemed of earth ; and never was that sad foreboding stronger than at that moment , as [she]_{5090-the blushing , timid girl} looked round [the crowd of young and happy faces]_{5092-the crowd of young and happy faces} , and none seemed to express the same as [Mary]_143-mary 's . [She]_{5090-the blushing , timid girl} could scarcely command [her]_{5090-the blushing , timid girl} voice and smile sufficiently to warmly thank [[her]_{5090-the blushing , timid girl} young favorite]_{5093-her young favorite} as [she]_{5090-the blushing , timid girl} ceased ; but [Mary]_143-mary was more than satisfied by the fond pressure of [her]_143-mary hand . This little interruption to the actual business of the evening only increased the zest and enjoyment , when dancing recommenced . Even the call to supper was obeyed with reluctance , and speedily accomplished , that [they]_5094-they might return the sooner to [the ball - room]_{3776-the ball - room} . The hours had worn away , it seemed , on gossamer - wings , and as [each happy child]_{5096-each happy child} felt assured that the delight could not last much longer , the longing to dance to the very last moment seemed to increase . [Emmeline]_78-emmeline 's excitable spirit had thrown off all alloy , for it was quite impossible [any one]_{393-any one} would think of asking [her]_{5090-the blushing , timid girl} to play now ; [she]_{5090-the blushing , timid girl} had arranged [all the remaining couples]_{5098-all the remaining couples} — for [the room]_{356-the room} had begun very much to thin — for [the favorite haymaker]_{5100-the favorite haymaker} 's country dance,[2 ] and accepting [Edward]_76-edward as [[her]_{5090-the blushing , timid girl} own partner]_{5101-her own partner} , and being unanimously desired to take the top , led off [[her]_{5090-the blushing , timid girl} young friends]_{5102-her young friends} with such spirit and grace , and so little semblance of fatigue , that it certainly appeared as if [she]_{5090-the blushing , timid girl} would verify [her]_{5090-the blushing , timid girl} own words , and dance all night . [Miss Grahame]_{145-miss grahame} had declared it was much too great a romp , and declined joining it . [Caroline]_120-caroline , who would have enjoyed it , more out of politeness to [[her]_120-caroline friend]_{535-her friend} than inclination , sat down with [her]_120-caroline , and [a cheerful group of some of [the older lads]_{5105-the older lads}]_{5104-a cheerful group of some of the older lads} , and [one or two young ladies]_{5106-one or two young ladies} , joined [them]_{5104-a cheerful group of some of the older lads} . [Herbert]_102-herbert and [Mary]_143-mary finding the quadrille for which [they]_{5104-a cheerful group of some of the older lads} were engaged , changed to a dance for which , though [they]_{5104-a cheerful group of some of the older lads} had quite the spirit , [they]_{5104-a cheerful group of some of the older lads} had not the physical strength , enjoyed a quiet chat instead , and [Ellen]_113-ellen seated [herself]_113-ellen by [her]_113-ellen favorite [Mary]_143-mary , declining , from fatigue , [Alfred Greville]_142-alfred 's entreaty that [she]_143-mary would second [Emmeline]_78-emmeline . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i declare [I]_0-i could dance [myself]_0-i with [that merry group]_{1685-that merry group} , " exclaimed [Mr. Grahame]_{148-mr. grahame} , after watching [them]_{1685-that merry group} some time , and all [his]_{148-mr. grahame} austerity banished by the kindly spirit of the evening . "_{[1685-that merry group]} [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , [Mrs. Greville]_{140-mrs. greville} , do one of [you]_1686-you take pity on [me]_0-i , and indulge [my]_0-i fancy . " [Both ladies]_{5107-both ladies} laughingly begged to be excused , offering , however , to introduce [him]_{148-mr. grahame} to [a partner]_{5108-a partner} . "_[1686-you] No ; it must be one of [you]_1686-you or [none at all]_{1687-none at all} . That little sylph of [yours]_1686-you , [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , seems inclined to dance for [you]_1686-you and [herself]_1688-herself too . What [a pretty couple]_{1689-a pretty couple} [she]_1688-herself and [that handsome cousin of hers]_{1690-that handsome cousin of hers} make ! And there goes [my]_0-i little [Lilla]_169-lilla — [I]_0-i do hope [I]_0-i may have [one really happy child]_{1691-one really happy child} . What , tired , [Percy]_99-percy — compelled to give up — absolutely exhausted ? " "_[99-percy] Indeed [I]_0-i am , " answered [Percy]_99-percy , who had waltzed [[his]_99-percy partner]_{5056-his partner} very cleverly out of the line , and , after giving [her]_{5056-his partner} a seat , threw [himself]_99-percy on a large ottoman . "_[0-i] [Mother]_183-mother , if [you]_183-mother do not put a stop to [Emmeline]_78-emmeline 's proceedings , [her]_78-emmeline strength will entirely fail , and down [she]_78-emmeline and [Edward]_76-edward will go , and [the rest]_{4642-the rest} follow , just like a pack of cards . Do , pray , prevent such a catastrophe , for [I]_0-i assure [you]_183-mother it is not in the least unlikely . " The gravity with which [he]_99-percy spoke caused a general laugh ; but [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , feeling by the length of time the fatiguing dance had lasted , there was really some truth in [his]_99-percy words , desired [the musicians]_{5110-the musicians} to stop ; causing an exclamation of regret and disappointment from many youthful lips , and [Emmeline]_78-emmeline and [Edward]_76-edward ran up to [her]_{5056-his partner} , to entreat that [they]_{5110-the musicians} might go on little longer . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , however , refused ; and [Edward]_76-edward yielded directly , but [Emmeline]_78-emmeline was so much excited , that obedience was most unusually difficult ; and when [[her]_78-emmeline mother]_{345-her mother} desired [her]_78-emmeline to sit down quietly for ten minutes , and then come to [the music - room]_{5016-the music - room} , as [Mrs. Allan]_{184-mrs. allan} most particularly wished to hear [her]_78-emmeline play before [she]_78-emmeline left , [she]_78-emmeline answered , with more petulance than [she]_78-emmeline was at all aware of — "_[0-i] [I]_0-i am sure [I]_0-i can not play a note now — it will be no use trying . " "_{[78-emmeline]} [Emmeline]_78-emmeline ! " exclaimed [[her]_78-emmeline mother]_{345-her mother} , adding , gravely , "_{[78-emmeline]} [I]_0-i am afraid [you]_78-emmeline have danced too much , instead of not enough . " The tone , still more than the words , was enough ; poor [Emmeline]_78-emmeline was just in that mood when tears are quite as near as smiles ; [her]_78-emmeline own petulance seemed to reproach [her]_78-emmeline too , and [she]_78-emmeline suddenly burst into tears . Many exclamations of sympathy and condolence burst from [[her]_78-emmeline mother]_{345-her mother} 's friends:—"Poor_{[78-emmeline]} child ! " "_{[78-emmeline]} [She]_78-emmeline has over - tired [herself]_78-emmeline ! " "_{[78-emmeline]} [We]_1693-we can not expect [her]_78-emmeline to play now!"—but [Mrs. Greville]_{140-mrs. greville} saying , with a smile , that [[her]_{140-mrs. greville} little friend]_{5115-her little friend} 's tears were always the very lightest [April]_185-april showers , successfully turned the attention of many from [her]_{140-mrs. greville} ; while [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} taking [her]_0-i hand from [her]_0-i face , merely said , in a low voice — "_{[78-emmeline]} Do not make [me]_0-i more ashamed of [you]_78-emmeline , [Emmeline]_78-emmeline . What would [papa]_1694-papa think if [he]_1694-papa were to see [you]_78-emmeline now ? " [[Her]_0-i little girl]_{348-her little girl} 's only answer was to bury [her]_{348-her little girl} face still more closely in [[her]_{348-her little girl} mother]_{345-her mother} 's dress , very much as if [she]_{348-her little girl} would like to hide [herself]_{348-her little girl} entirely ; but on [Mrs. Allan]_{184-mrs. allan} saying , very kindly — "_[1694-papa] Do not distress [yourself]_78-emmeline , [[my]_0-i dear]_{3485-my dear} . [I]_0-i would not have asked to hear [you]_78-emmeline play , if [I]_0-i had thought [you]_78-emmeline would dislike it so much . [I]_0-i dare say [you]_78-emmeline are very tired , and so think [you]_78-emmeline will not succeed . " [She]_0-i raised [her]_0-i head directly , shook back the fair ringlets that had fallen over [her]_0-i face , and though the tears were still on [her]_0-i cheeks and filling [her]_0-i eyes , [she]_0-i said , with a blending of childish shyness and yet courageous truth , impossible to be described — "_[0-i] No , [ma'am]_3547-ma'am , [I]_0-i am not too tired to play — [I]_0-i did not cry from fatigue , but because [I]_0-i was angry with [mamma]_3420-mamma for not letting [me]_0-i dance any more , and angry with [myself]_0-i for answering [her]_3420-mamma so pettishly ; and because — because — [I]_0-i thought [she]_3420-mamma was displeased , and that [I]_0-i deserved it . " "_[3420-mamma] Then come and redeem [your]_78-emmeline character , " was [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's only notice of a reply that actually made [her]_{184-mrs. allan} heart throb with thankfulness , that [her]_{184-mrs. allan} lessons of truth were so fully understood and practiced by one naturally so gentle and timid as [[her]_{184-mrs. allan} [Emmeline]_78-emmeline]_{5118-her emmeline} : while [Mrs. Allan]_{184-mrs. allan} knew not what to answer , from a feeling of involuntary respect . It would have been so easy to escape a disagreeable task by tacitly allowing that [she]_3420-mamma was too tired to play ; and what careful training must it have been to have so taught truth . "_[3420-mamma] [Mrs. Allan]_{184-mrs. allan} would not ask [you]_78-emmeline before , because [she]_3420-mamma knew [you]_78-emmeline did not like to play while [the room]_{356-the room} was so very full ; therefore , ought [you]_78-emmeline not to do [your]_78-emmeline very best to oblige [her]_3420-mamma ? " [Emmeline]_78-emmeline looked timidly up in [[her]_78-emmeline mother]_{345-her mother} 's face to be quite sure that [her]_78-emmeline displeasure had subsided , as [her]_78-emmeline words seemed to denote ; and quite satisfied , [her]_78-emmeline tears were all checked , and taking [Mrs. Allan]_{184-mrs. allan} 's offered hand , [she]_78-emmeline went directly to [the music - room]_{5016-the music - room} . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} lingered to desire [Herbert]_102-herbert ( who had come up to know the cause of [[his]_102-herbert sister]_{561-his sister} 's sudden tears ) to form the last quadrille , and reserve a place , if [he]_102-herbert possibly could , for [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , as [they]_5122-they would not begin till [she]_78-emmeline had done . [[Her]_{345-her mother} little girl]_{348-her little girl} was playing as [she]_78-emmeline rejoined [her]_78-emmeline , and it really was a pretty picture , [her]_78-emmeline fairy figure with [her]_78-emmeline tiny harp , and [her]_78-emmeline sweet face seeming to express the real feeling with which [she]_78-emmeline played . There was no execution in the simple Highland air , but [her]_{345-her mother} vivid imagination lent it a meaning , and so , when fairly playing , [she]_{345-her mother} did not mind it . [Mrs. Allan]_{184-mrs. allan} had lost [a little girl]_{5124-a little girl} just at [Emmeline]_78-emmeline 's age , who had also played the harp , and there was something in [her]_78-emmeline caress and thanks , after [she]_78-emmeline had done , that made [Emmeline]_78-emmeline stand quietly at [her]_78-emmeline side , without heeding the praises that were lavished round [her]_78-emmeline . [Herbert]_102-herbert at that moment appeared with [one of [the young Allans]_{186-the young allans}]_{5125-one of the young allans} . "_{[78-emmeline]} Come , [Emmy]_121-emmy , [we]_1699-we are only waiting for [you]_121-emmy ; [Mr. Allan]_{187-mr. allan} says [you]_121-emmy have not favored [him]_{187-mr. allan} to - night , and [he]_{187-mr. allan} hopes [you]_121-emmy will now . " "_{[187-mr. allan]} Pray , do , " added [Mrs. Allan]_{184-mrs. allan} , as [[her]_{184-mrs. allan} son]_{326-her son} gayly pleaded [his]_{326-her son} own cause ; [Emmeline]_78-emmeline only waited to read [[her]_78-emmeline mother]_{345-her mother} 's consent in [her]_78-emmeline eyes , for [she]_78-emmeline thought that [she]_78-emmeline ought not to dance any more ; and in another minute the joyous music had resounded , and [she]_78-emmeline was dancing and chatting as gayly and happily as if there had been no interruption to [her]_78-emmeline joy . "_{[187-mr. allan]} And [you]_121-emmy will leave all these delights to imprison [yourself]_121-emmy in [a man - of - war]_{3569-a man - of - war} ? " asked [Mr. Grahame]_{148-mr. grahame} , jestingly of [Edward]_76-edward while waiting for [[his]_{148-mr. grahame} wife]_{521-his wife} and [daughters]_{4805-daughters} , who were the last departures ( much to [Annie]_129-annie 's horror , for it was so unfashionable to be quite the last ) , to be cloaked and shawled . "_{[3569-a man - of - war]} Imprison ! " was [his]_{148-mr. grahame} very indignant reply , "_{[3569-a man - of - war]} and on [the wide , free , glorious ocean]_{1701-the wide , free , glorious ocean} ! flying on the wings of the wind wherever [we]_1702-we please , and compelling the flag of [every land]_{1703-every land} to acknowledge [ours]_1702-we ! No , [Mr. Grahame]_{148-mr. grahame} ; [[you]_{148-mr. grahame} [landsmen]_{1705-landsmen}]_{1704-you landsmen} do n't know what liberty is , if [you]_{148-mr. grahame} talk of imprisonment in [a ship]_{3845-a ship} ! [We]_1702-we take [our]_1702-we home wherever [we]_1702-we go , which [[you]_{148-mr. grahame} landsmen]_{1704-you landsmen} can not do , though [you]_{148-mr. grahame} do so poetize on the maternal properties of [Old Mother Earth]_183-mother . " "_[1708-him] Only hear [him]_1708-him , [Hamilton]_78-emmeline , " exclaimed [Grahame]_{148-mr. grahame} , laughing heartily ; "_{[78-emmeline]} [any one]_{393-any one} would think [he]_1708-him had been [a sailor]_{3421-a sailor} all [his]_1708-him little life . [You]_{148-mr. grahame} talk boldly now , [[my]_0-i boy]_{868-my boy} , but [you]_{148-mr. grahame} may change [your]_{148-mr. grahame} tone when [you]_{148-mr. grahame} have once tried [the cockpit]_{1712-the cockpit} . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i do not think [I]_0-i shall , " answered [Edward]_76-edward , earnestly ; "_[0-i] [I]_0-i know there are many hardships , and [I]_0-i dare say [I]_0-i shall find them more disagreeable than [I]_0-i can possibly imagine ; but [I]_0-i shall get used to them ; it is so cowardly to care for hardships . " "_[0-i] And is it no grief to give up all the pleasures of [land]_3848-land ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i exchange them for others more delightful still . " "_[0-i] And [the sea]_{1714-the sea} is to be [[your]_{148-mr. grahame} sister]_{1110-your sister} , [uncle]_3425-uncle , [aunt]_1460-aunt , and [cousins]_4716-cousins — altogether ? " "_[0-i] Yes all , " replied [Edward]_76-edward , laughing ; adding , as [he]_76-edward put [his]_76-edward arm affectionately round [Ellen]_113-ellen , "_[0-i] [[my]_0-i sister]_{1719-my sister} has so many kind friends that [she]_{1719-my sister} will be able to spare [me]_0-i till [I]_0-i am old enough to do all [a brother]_{1588-a brother} ought . " "_{[1719-my sister]} [You]_0-i are [a good fellow]_{985-a good fellow} , [Edward]_76-edward , and [I]_0-i see [I]_0-i must not talk of parting , if [I]_0-i would preserve this evening 's pleasure unalloyed , " [Grahame]_{148-mr. grahame} said , as [he]_{148-mr. grahame} laid [his]_{148-mr. grahame} hand kindly on [Ellen]_113-ellen 's head , and then turned to obey the summons of [[his]_{148-mr. grahame} wife]_{521-his wife} . [The young party]_{3941-the young party} , no doubt , felt that it would be infinitely more agreeable to sit up all night , and talk of the only too quickly concluded enjoyment , than to retire to [their]_{3941-the young party} respective pillows ; but the habits of [Oakwood]_12-oakwood were somewhat too well regulated for such dissipation , though , no doubt , [[their]_{3941-the young party} dream - land]_{5132-their dream - land} that night , was peopled with the pleasant shadows of reality , and , according to [their]_{3941-the young party} respective sources of enjoyment , brought back [their]_{3941-the young party} evening 's happiness again and again . The return to the quiet routine of work , and less exciting recreation after the Christmas pleasures , was of course a trial to all [[our]_5133-our young friends]_{5134-our young friends} . Not so much to [the boys]_{5135-the boys} , as to [[their]_{5135-the boys} sisters]_{4130-their sisters} ; [Percy]_99-percy 's elastic spirits found pleasure in every thing , being somewhat too old to care for [his]_99-percy studies , or feel [them]_5137-them now as a restraint . [Herbert]_102-herbert only exchanged one kind of happiness for another . [Edward]_76-edward looked to every month that passed , as bringing nearer the attainment of [his]_76-edward wishes ; and [he]_76-edward was so fond of [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} , and so quick at learning , and such a favorite with all [[his]_{128-mr. howard} schoolfellows]_{5138-his schoolfellows} , that [he]_76-edward did not care at all when the time of work came again . [Ellen]_113-ellen and [Emmeline]_78-emmeline both found it very difficult to like [their]_{3941-the young party} lessons again ; especially [the latter , who felt as if work and regularity were most particularly disagreeable things]_{5139-the latter , who felt as if work and regularity were most particularly disagreeable things} , and sometimes was almost in despair as to [her]_{5139-the latter , who felt as if work and regularity were most particularly disagreeable things} ever enjoying them again ; but [she]_{5139-the latter , who felt as if work and regularity were most particularly disagreeable things} tried very hard to overcome indolence , and never give way to petulance , and succeeded , so as to win [her]_{5139-the latter , who felt as if work and regularity were most particularly disagreeable things} the delight of both [[her]_{5139-the latter , who felt as if work and regularity were most particularly disagreeable things} parents]_{3918-her parents} ' approbation . Indulgence always made [her]_{5139-the latter , who felt as if work and regularity were most particularly disagreeable things} feel as if no effort on [her]_{5139-the latter , who felt as if work and regularity were most particularly disagreeable things} part was too great to prove how much [she]_{5139-the latter , who felt as if work and regularity were most particularly disagreeable things} felt it ; and when [any one]_{393-any one} , old or young , experiences this sort of feeling , [they]_{393-any one} need never be afraid but that [they]_{393-any one} will succeed in [their]_{393-any one} efforts , painful and hard as [they]_{393-any one} may at first seem . It was not so difficult for [Ellen]_113-ellen as for [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , because [she]_78-emmeline was less able to realize such an intensity of pleasure . [She]_78-emmeline seemed safer when regularly employed ; and besides , to work hard at [her]_78-emmeline respective studies , was one of the very few things which [she]_78-emmeline could do to prove how much [she]_78-emmeline loved [[her]_78-emmeline aunt]_{367-her aunt} ; and accustomed from such early childhood to conquer inclination , and , in fact , never to fancy pleasure and indulgence were [her]_78-emmeline due , there was happiness enough for [her]_78-emmeline even in [their]_{3918-her parents} more regular life : but to [Caroline]_120-caroline the change was actually unbearable . While admiration and praise only incited [Emmeline]_78-emmeline to greater exertions , they caused [Caroline]_120-caroline completely to relax in [hers]_120-caroline , and to give , in consequence , as much trouble and annoyance as [she]_120-caroline had received pleasure . The perseverance in [her]_120-caroline various studies , especially in music , the unceasing control over [her]_120-caroline temper , which before the holidays [she]_120-caroline had so striven for , had now entirely given way . It was much less trouble for [her]_120-caroline to learn than [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , therefore [her]_120-caroline studies with [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} were generally well performed ; but the admiration [she]_120-caroline had excited made [her]_120-caroline long for more , and believe [herself]_120-caroline [a person deserving much more consideration and respect than [she]_120-caroline received from [[her]_120-caroline own family]_{4144-her own family}]_{5143-a person deserving much more consideration and respect than she received from her own family} . These thoughts persisted in , of course , produced and retained ill - temper ; which , as there was no longer any fear of [her]_120-caroline being debarred by its indulgence from any pleasure , [she]_120-caroline made no attempt to overcome . The praise bestowed on [her]_120-caroline music , made [her]_120-caroline fancy [herself]_120-caroline a much greater proficient than [she]_120-caroline really was , and though [her]_120-caroline love of music was great , [her]_120-caroline love of praise was greater ; and so [she]_120-caroline not only relaxed in [her]_120-caroline practice , but inwardly murmured at the very little praise [she]_120-caroline received from [[her]_120-caroline mother]_{345-her mother} . "_[0-i] How can [you]_1722-you give [mamma]_3420-mamma so much trouble , [Caroline]_120-caroline , when [you]_1722-you know [you]_1722-you can do so much better ? " [Herbert]_102-herbert exclaimed , one day , when an attack of weakness , to which [he]_102-herbert was liable , had confined [him]_102-herbert to a sofa . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , after giving [her]_{345-her mother} usual hour 's lesson , in which [Caroline]_120-caroline had chosen to do nothing , had left [her]_{345-her mother} in very evident displeasure , and even [Herbert]_102-herbert was roused to most unusual indignation . "_[1722-you] What is the use of practicing day after day ? " was [her]_{345-her mother} angry reply ; "_[1722-you] [I]_0-i am sure [I]_0-i should play just as well if [I]_0-i practiced less . " "_[1722-you] [You]_1722-you did not think so a month ago , [Caroline]_120-caroline . " "_[1722-you] No , because then [I]_0-i had something to practice for . " "_[1722-you] And have [you]_1722-you nothing now?—Is [mamma]_3420-mamma 's approbation nothing?—Is the pleasure [you]_1722-you give all of [us]_1725-us , by [your]_1722-you talent for music , nothing?—Oh , [Caroline]_120-caroline , why will [you]_1722-you throw away so much real gratification , for the vain desire of universal admiration ? " "_[1722-you] There surely can be no harm , [Herbert]_102-herbert , in wishing to be universally loved and admired . " "_[1722-you] There is , when it makes [you]_1722-you discontented and unhappy , and blind to the love and admiration of [[your]_1722-you home]_{1726-your home} . What is the praise of [strangers worth]_{1727-strangers worth} , compared to that of [those who love [you]_1722-you best]_{1728-those who love you best} ? " "_{[1727-strangers worth]} There is not much chance of [my]_0-i receiving either at present , " was the cold reply . "_{[1727-strangers worth]} Because [you]_1722-you will not try for the one most easily and happily obtained ; and even without thinking of praise , how can [you]_1722-you be so ungrateful , as to repay all [mamma]_3420-mamma 's care and trouble by the indolence , coldness , and almost insolence , [you]_1722-you have shown to - day ? How [few mothers of [her]_3420-mamma rank]_{1730-few mothers of her rank} would — " "_{[102-herbert]} [You]_102-herbert may spare [your]_102-herbert sermon , [Herbert]_102-herbert ; for at this moment [I]_0-i am not disposed either to listen to or profit by it , " interrupted [Caroline]_120-caroline , and [she]_0-i left [the room]_{356-the room} in anger . A faint flush rose to the pale cheek of [[her]_0-i brother]_{384-her brother} , but [he]_{384-her brother} quickly conquered the natural irritation , and sought [[his]_{384-her brother} mother]_{330-his mother} , by every fond attention on [his]_{384-her brother} part , to remove the pain of [Caroline]_120-caroline 's conduct . This continued for about a fortnight , at the end of which time , [Caroline]_120-caroline suddenly resumed [her]_120-caroline music with assiduity , and there were no more ebullitions of ill - temper . [Herbert]_102-herbert hoped [his]_102-herbert expostulations were taking effect ; [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} trusted that [[her]_0-i child]_{350-her child} was becoming sensible of [her]_0-i past folly , and trying to conquer it , and banish [its]_{350-her child} memory [herself]_{81-mrs. hamilton} : both , however , were mistaken . [Annie Grahame]_129-annie had imparted to [[her]_129-annie friend]_{535-her friend} , in strict confidence , that [[her]_129-annie mother]_{345-her mother} intended giving a grand ball about the end of February , and meant to entreat [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , as a personal favor , to let [Caroline]_120-caroline be present . [Caroline]_120-caroline little knew the very slight foundation [Annie]_129-annie had for this assertion . [Lady Helen]_{127-lady helen} had merely said , perhaps [she]_{127-lady helen} would ask ; and this was only said , because [she]_{127-lady helen} was too indolent and weak to say "_[0-i] No " at once . Not that [she]_{127-lady helen} had any unkind feeling toward [Caroline]_120-caroline , but simply because [she]_{127-lady helen} was perfectly certain [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} would not consent , and to persuade as earnestly as [Annie]_129-annie wished was really too much trouble . [Caroline]_120-caroline 's wishes in this instance triumphed over [her]_120-caroline better judgment , for had [she]_120-caroline allowed [herself]_120-caroline to think soberly , [she]_120-caroline ought to have known [[her]_120-caroline mother]_{345-her mother} 's principles of action sufficiently , not to entertain the slightest hope of going . The invitations ( three weeks ' notice ) for [[her]_120-caroline parents]_{3918-her parents} and [brothers]_{5154-brothers} came . In [them]_5155-them [she]_120-caroline did not expect to be included , but when above a week passed , and still not a word was said , disappointment took the place of hope , and it was only the still lingering belief that [she]_120-caroline might go , even at the last moment , that prevented the return of ill - temper . Now [Lady Helen]_{127-lady helen} really had asked , though [she]_{127-lady helen} did not persuade ; and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} thanked [her]_{127-lady helen} , but , as [she]_{127-lady helen} expected , decidedly refused . "_{[120-caroline]} [Caroline]_120-caroline was much too young , " [she]_{127-lady helen} said , "_{[120-caroline]} for such a party . Did [she]_120-caroline know any thing about being asked ? " [Lady Helen]_{127-lady helen} said , with truth , that [she]_{127-lady helen} had not mentioned the subject to [her]_{127-lady helen} , and had desired [Annie]_129-annie to be equally silent . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} quite forgot that [Miss Grahame]_{145-miss grahame} was not famous for obedience , and , relying on [[her]_120-caroline friend]_{535-her friend} 's assurance , determined on not saying any thing to [Caroline]_120-caroline about it ; wishing to spare [her]_120-caroline the pain which [she]_120-caroline knew [her]_120-caroline refusal would inflict . As it happened , it would have been better if [she]_120-caroline had spoken . The weather had prevented [Caroline]_120-caroline from seeing [Annie]_129-annie , but [she]_120-caroline was quite sure [she]_120-caroline would not deceive [her]_120-caroline ; and [her]_120-caroline proud heart rebelled against [[her]_120-caroline mother]_{345-her mother} , not only for refusing [Lady Helen]_{127-lady helen} 's request , but for treating [her]_120-caroline so much like [a child]_{265-a child} , as to hide that refusal from [her]_120-caroline . Under the influence of such thoughts , of course , [her]_120-caroline temper became more and more difficult to control and as a natural consequence , anger and irritation against [[her]_120-caroline mother]_{345-her mother} , and self - reproach for the indulgence of such feelings increased , till [she]_120-caroline became actually miserable . It happened that about this time [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} left [Oakwood]_12-oakwood for a week on a visit to [an invalid friend at [Dartmouth]_48-dartmouth]_{5160-an invalid friend at dartmouth} . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had given [her]_120-caroline full liberty , promising that [[her]_120-caroline pupils]_{5161-her pupils} should lose nothing by [her]_120-caroline absence . [She]_120-caroline left on the Saturday , and the Thursday was [Lady Helen]_{127-lady helen} 's ball . On the Monday , [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , detained [Edward]_76-edward as [he]_76-edward was leaving [the library]_{3958-the library} , after morning prayers , and told [him]_76-edward that [he]_76-edward had received a letter , which [he]_76-edward thought might chance to interest [him]_76-edward . Ten minutes afterward , [Edward]_76-edward rushed into [the breakfast - room]_{1147-the breakfast - room} , in a state of such joyous excitement that [he]_76-edward could scarcely speak . "_{[120-caroline]} Wish [me]_0-i five , ten , twenty thousand joys ! " [he]_76-edward exclaimed , springing from chair to chair , as if velocity of movement should bring back speech . "_{[120-caroline]} In one month [the Prince William]_{1731-the prince william} sails , and [I]_0-i am to meet [her]_{1731-the prince william} at [Portsmouth]_{49-portsmouth} , and be [a sailor]_{3421-a sailor} , [a real sailor]_{1733-a real sailor} ; and to - morrow fortnight [uncle]_3425-uncle says [we]_1735-we are to start for [London]_13-london , and have ten days there to see all the fine sights , and then go to [Portsmouth]_{49-portsmouth} , and see all that is to be seen there , and then — and then — " "_[3425-uncle] Take care [you]_0-i do not lose [your]_0-i wits before [you]_0-i leave [Oakwood]_12-oakwood , " interposed [Percy]_99-percy laughing heartily . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i should not at all wonder , before [you]_0-i go , that [you]_0-i will be fancying [the river Dart]_{1736-the river dart} [the Atlantic]_{50-the atlantic} , and set sail in a basket , touch at [all the islets [you]_0-i may pass]_{1737-all the islets you may pass} , imagining [them]_{1737-all the islets you may pass} [various cities]_{1738-various cities} , and finally land at [Dartmouth]_48-dartmouth , believing it [Halifax]_51-halifax , [[your]_0-i destined port]_{1739-your destined port} — that will be the end of [[your]_0-i sailorship]_{1740-your sailorship} , [Edward]_76-edward , depend upon it . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i rather think [I]_0-i should stand a chance of being ducked into [my]_0-i sober senses again , [Percy]_99-percy , unless wicker be waterproof , which [I]_0-i never heard it was . " "_[0-i] But [I]_0-i have , though , " eagerly interrupted [Emmeline]_78-emmeline ; "_[0-i] [the Scots and Picts]_{189-the scots and picts} invaded [England]_10-england in [wicker boats]_{1741-wicker boats} , and to have held [so many men]_{1742-so many men} , [they]_{189-the scots and picts} must have been strong and waterproof too . So [you]_76-edward see , [Percy]_99-percy 's basket is only [an ancient boat]_{1743-an ancient boat} , [Edward]_76-edward . [You]_76-edward are much better off than [you]_76-edward thought [you]_76-edward were . " "_[76-edward] Give [me]_0-i [Alfred]_142-alfred 's wooden walls instead , [Emmy]_121-emmy ; [your]_121-emmy Picts and [Scots]_{189-the scots and picts} were very little better than [savages]_1744-savages — [Alfred]_142-alfred is [[my]_0-i man]_{1745-my man} ; [he]_142-alfred deserves to be called great , if it were only for forming the first English navy . But neither [[my]_0-i aunt]_{3424-my aunt} nor [Ellen]_113-ellen have wished [me]_0-i joy . [I]_0-i think [I]_0-i shall be offended . " [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} could not speak at the first moment , for the joy , the animation of [[her]_0-i nephew]_{696-her nephew} so recalled the day when [[her]_0-i own much - loved brother]_{5165-her own much - loved brother} , [[her]_0-i darling [Charles]_{136-charles i.}]_{5166-her darling charles} , had rushed into [[her]_0-i room]_{4818-her room} , to tell [her]_0-i all [his]_{136-charles i.} glee , for [no one]_{3540-no one} ever listened to and shared in [his]_{136-charles i.} joys and troubles as [she]_0-i did . [He]_{136-charles i.} was then scarcely older than [Edward]_76-edward , as full of hope and joy and buoyancy — where was [he]_{136-charles i.} ? Would [his]_{136-charles i.} fate be that of [the bright , beautiful boy before [her]_0-i]_{5169-the bright , beautiful boy before her} ? And as [Edward]_76-edward threw [his]_76-edward arms round [her]_0-i neck , and kissed [her]_0-i again and again , telling [her]_0-i [he]_76-edward could not be quite sure it was not all a dream , unless [she]_0-i wished [him]_76-edward joy too it was the utmost effort to prevent the fast gathering tears , and so command [her]_0-i voice , that [he]_76-edward should not hear [her]_0-i tremble . [Poor Ellen]_113-ellen looked and felt bewildered . [She]_113-ellen had always tried to realize that [Edward]_76-edward , to be [a sailor]_{3421-a sailor} , must leave [her]_113-ellen ; and in fact aware that [his]_76-edward summons would soon come , [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} and [uncle]_3425-uncle had often alluded to [his]_76-edward departure before [her]_113-ellen , but still [she]_113-ellen had never thought it near ; and now the news was so sudden , and [Edward]_76-edward was so wild with joy [she]_113-ellen fancied [she]_113-ellen ought to rejoice too , but [she]_113-ellen could not ; and [Percy]_99-percy was obliged to ask [her]_113-ellen merrily , what ailed [her]_113-ellen , and if [she]_113-ellen could not trust to [his]_76-edward being [a much more worthy brother]_{5173-a much more worthy brother} than such a water - rat , who had no business whatever on [land]_3848-land , before [she]_113-ellen could take [her]_113-ellen place at the breakfast table and try to smile . But [her]_113-ellen eyes would rest on [Edward]_76-edward even then , and [she]_113-ellen felt as if there were something across [her]_113-ellen throat and [she]_113-ellen could not swallow the nice roll which [Herbert]_102-herbert , had so kindly buttered and cut , and so quietly placed in [her]_113-ellen plate ; and when [Edward]_76-edward said something very funny , as [he]_76-edward was in the habit of doing , and made [them]_5175-them all laugh , [she]_113-ellen tried to laugh too , but instead of a laugh it was a sob that startled [herself]_113-ellen , for [she]_113-ellen was quite sure [she]_113-ellen did not mean to be so foolish : but instead of being reproved , as [she]_113-ellen was afraid [she]_113-ellen should be , [she]_113-ellen felt [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} 's arm thrown gently round [her]_113-ellen , till [she]_113-ellen could hide [her]_113-ellen face on [her]_113-ellen shoulder , and cry quite quietly for a few minutes , for [they]_5175-them went on talking and laughing round the breakfast - table , and [nobody]_1284-nobody took any notice of [her]_113-ellen , which [she]_113-ellen was quite glad of , for [she]_113-ellen could not bear [Edward]_76-edward to think [she]_113-ellen was unhappy when [he]_76-edward was so pleased . And after breakfast , though [he]_76-edward was in such a desperate hurry to tell [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} the good news , that when [he]_76-edward did set off , [he]_76-edward left even [Percy]_99-percy far behind [him]_76-edward , [he]_76-edward found time to give [her]_113-ellen a hearty kiss , and to tell [her]_113-ellen that [he]_76-edward loved [her]_113-ellen very much , though [he]_76-edward could not help being so glad [he]_76-edward was going to [sea]_579-sea ; and that [he]_76-edward was quite proud of [her]_113-ellen , because though [he]_76-edward knew [she]_113-ellen was very sorry [he]_76-edward was going , [she]_113-ellen did not cry and make a fuss as [some selfish people]_{5179-some selfish people} would ; and then [she]_113-ellen really did smile . "_[0-i] It is Monday morning , [[my]_0-i dears]_{1747-my dears} , and [I]_0-i find [Ellis]_135-ellis and [Morris]_134-morris require [my]_0-i attention for a longer time than [I]_0-i expected , " [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} said , as [she]_0-i entered [the school - room]_{544-the school - room} , and found [the three girls]_{4890-the three girls} preparing [their]_{4890-the three girls} books , "_[134-morris] so [I]_0-i must set [you]_{1747-my dears} all to work , and see how well [you]_{1747-my dears} can get on without [me]_0-i till eleven , when [I]_0-i will rejoin [you]_{1747-my dears} . [I]_0-i shall order [the carriage]_{3444-the carriage} at half - past twelve , and if all [I]_0-i require is completed , [we]_1749-we will pay [[your]_{1747-my dears} favorite old ruin]_{1750-your favorite old ruin} a visit , [Emmy]_121-emmy ; the morning is so lovely , that [I]_0-i think [we]_1749-we may venture to take [our]_1749-we sketch - books , and see what other part of [Berry Pomeroy]_{191-berry pomeroy} [we]_1749-we can take pencil possession of . " Such an anticipation was quite enough for [Emmeline]_78-emmeline . [Her]_78-emmeline dance about [the room]_{356-the room} was only checked by the idea that [her]_78-emmeline lessons would never be ready , nor [her]_78-emmeline exercises and sums done , unless [she]_78-emmeline sat quietly down , and so , with a great effort , [she]_78-emmeline gave all [her]_78-emmeline attention to [her]_78-emmeline various tasks , and mastered them even before [[her]_78-emmeline mother]_{345-her mother} returned . [Ellen]_113-ellen , though [she]_113-ellen tried quite as much , was not so successful . [The Prince William]_{192-the prince william} would sail in miniature on [her]_113-ellen slate , over all [her]_113-ellen figures . The recollection of the awful storm [they]_1749-we had encountered on [their]_1749-we voyage to [England]_10-england would return so vividly , that [the very room]_{5184-the very room} seemed to heave . And then — but [she]_78-emmeline could not make out why [she]_78-emmeline should think about that then — [[her]_78-emmeline mother]_{345-her mother} 's death - bed came before [her]_78-emmeline and [her]_{345-her mother} promise , and it seemed harder still to part with [Edward]_76-edward , from a vague dread that came over [her]_78-emmeline , but still [she]_78-emmeline tried to attend to what [she]_78-emmeline had to do , and congratulated [herself]_78-emmeline on its completion before [[her]_78-emmeline aunt]_{367-her aunt} appeared . [Caroline]_120-caroline , alone , was determined not to work . Because [she]_120-caroline had not made [herself]_120-caroline miserable enough already , the most unfounded jealousy entered [her]_120-caroline head from seeing [[her]_120-caroline mother]_{345-her mother} 's caressing kindness toward [Ellen]_113-ellen at breakfast ; why was not [her]_120-caroline manner as kind to [her]_120-caroline ! [She]_120-caroline was quite as unhappy , and [[her]_120-caroline mother]_{345-her mother} must see it , but [she]_120-caroline took no notice of [her]_120-caroline — only of [Ellen]_113-ellen . [She]_120-caroline might be cross sometimes , but [she]_120-caroline never told stories or tried to hide [her]_120-caroline faults , and it was very hard and unjust that [she]_120-caroline should be treated so like [a child]_{265-a child} , and [Ellen]_113-ellen made so much of ; and so [she]_120-caroline thought and thought , not attempting to do a single thing till [she]_120-caroline actually made [herself]_120-caroline believe , for the time , that [[her]_120-caroline kind , indulgent mother]_{5190-her kind , indulgent mother} had no love for [her]_120-caroline ; and every thing looked blacker than before . [She]_120-caroline made no effort to rouse [herself]_120-caroline even in [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's presence , but listened to [her]_{345-her mother} remonstrances with such extreme carelessness , almost insolence , that [[her]_120-caroline mother]_{345-her mother} felt [her]_{345-her mother} patience failing . The self - control , however , for which [she]_120-caroline had successfully striven , enabled [her]_120-caroline so to overcome the irritation , as to retain [her]_120-caroline own quiet dignity , and simply to desire [Caroline]_120-caroline to give [her]_120-caroline attention at once to [her]_120-caroline studies , and conquer [her]_120-caroline ill - temper , or not to think of accompanying [them]_5192-them on [their]_5192-them excursion , as idleness and peevishness were better left to [themselves]_5192-them . An insolent and haughty reply rose to [Caroline]_120-caroline 's lips ; but with an effort [she]_120-caroline remained silent , [her]_120-caroline flushed forehead alone denoting the internal agitation . [Emmeline]_78-emmeline 's diligence and the approbation [she]_120-caroline received irritated [her]_120-caroline still more ; but [she]_120-caroline rejoiced when [she]_120-caroline heard [[her]_120-caroline mother]_{345-her mother} tell [Ellen]_113-ellen there was not a correct line in [her]_120-caroline French exercise , and [her]_120-caroline sum , a compound long division , wrong from the very first figure . But the pleasure soon gave place to indignant anger , when , instead of the reproof which [she]_{345-her mother} believed would follow , [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} said very kindly — "_[0-i] [I]_0-i should very much like these done correctly , [Ellen]_113-ellen , before [we]_1751-we go out ; suppose [you]_113-ellen ensconce [yourself]_113-ellen in that bay window , there are a table and chair all ready for [you]_113-ellen , and [we]_1751-we shall not interrupt [you]_113-ellen as [we]_1751-we should if [you]_113-ellen remain at this table . [I]_0-i know [they]_1752-they are both very difficult , to - day especially , but the more merit in [their]_1752-they accomplishment , [you]_113-ellen know the more pleased [I]_0-i shall be . " [Ellen]_113-ellen obeyed directly ; a little care , and with the assistance of [her]_113-ellen grammar , which [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} permitted [her]_113-ellen to refer to , instead of depending entirely on [her]_113-ellen memory that morning , enabled [her]_113-ellen to succeed with [her]_113-ellen French ; but four times was that tormenting sum returned to , till at last [her]_113-ellen tears effaced the figures as fast as they were written . Still , patience and resolution in both [teacher]_5195-teacher and [pupil]_5196-pupil conquered , and the fifth time there was not a figure wrong ; and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , fondly putting back the heavy ringlets which in [Ellen]_113-ellen 's absorbed attention had fallen over [her]_113-ellen tearful cheeks , said , playfully — "_[0-i] Shall [I]_0-i tell [you]_113-ellen a secret , [[my]_0-i little [Ellen]_113-ellen]_{1122-my little ellen} ? [I]_0-i was quite as disinclined to be firm this morning as [you]_113-ellen were to be patient ; so [you]_113-ellen see [we]_1754-we have both gained a grand victory . [My]_0-i conjuring propensities , as [Emmy]_121-emmy thinks them , told [me]_0-i that [you]_113-ellen had real cause for some little inattention , and , therefore that it was very cruel in [me]_0-i to be so determined ; but [my]_0-i judgment would tell [me]_0-i that [my]_0-i feeling was wrong , and that to conquer disinclination and overcome a difficulty , was a much better way of lessening even natural sorrow than to give up . [I]_0-i do not expect [you]_113-ellen to think so just now , but [I]_0-i fancy [you]_113-ellen are not very sorry this disagreeable , terribly tiresome sum has not to be done to - morrow , which it must have been , had [you]_113-ellen left it to - day . " [Ellen]_113-ellen was so glad , that [she]_113-ellen felt almost happy , and [her]_113-ellen few other duties were done quite briskly , for [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had been so kind as to countermand [the carriage]_{3444-the carriage} till one , that [she]_0-i and [Caroline]_120-caroline might have time to finish . But [Caroline]_120-caroline , if [she]_120-caroline had not tried before , was now still less capable of doing so . Every word of kindness addressed to [Ellen]_113-ellen increased the storm raging within , and the difficulty of restraining it in [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's presence caused it to burst forth with unmitigated violence the moment [she]_0-i quitted [the apartment]_{3876-the apartment} , desiring [Emmeline]_78-emmeline and [Ellen]_113-ellen to make haste , and put away [their]_5199-their books , but still without taking the least notice of [her]_0-i . Invective , reproach , almost abuse , were poured against [Ellen]_113-ellen , who stood actually frightened at the violence [she]_113-ellen had so very innocently excited , and at the fearful and deforming passion which inflamed [[her]_113-ellen cousin]_{4159-her cousin} 's every feature . [Caroline]_120-caroline 's anger had miscounted time , or [she]_120-caroline must have known that [[her]_120-caroline mother]_{345-her mother} could not have gone far enough , for such unusual tones of excitement to escape [her]_113-ellen quick hearing . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , startled and alarmed , returned directly , and so vividly did [[her]_{345-her mother} child]_{350-her child} 's appearance and words recall [[her]_{345-her mother} own misguided sister]_{5203-her own misguided sister} in those uncontrolled fits of fury , under which [she]_0-i had so often trembled , that present disappointment and dread for the future , took possession of [her]_0-i , and for the moment rendered [her]_0-i powerless . [Caroline]_120-caroline was too much engrossed to perceive [her]_{345-her mother} at first , and [she]_120-caroline had , therefore time to rally from the momentary weakness . "_[0-i] What does this mean ? " [she]_{345-her mother} exclaimed , fixing [her]_{345-her mother} eyes on [Caroline]_120-caroline , with that expression of quiet but stern reproof , which when [she]_{345-her mother} did use it — and it was very seldom — had the power of subduing even the wildest excitement . "_[0-i] What has [Ellen]_113-ellen done , that [you]_1755-you should abuse [her]_113-ellen with this unjust and cruel and most unfeminine violence ? [You]_1755-you have indulged [your]_1755-you ill - temper till [you]_1755-you do not know what [you]_1755-you say or do , and [you]_1755-you are venting on another the anger which [my]_0-i displeasure has caused [you]_1755-you to feel toward [me]_0-i and toward [yourself]_1755-you . [I]_0-i desire that [you]_1755-you will control it directly , or retire to [[your]_1755-you own room]_{1481-your own room} , till [you]_1755-you can behave with some degree of propriety , and not disturb the comfort and happiness of [others]_756-others in this most uncalled - for manner . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i will not go , " answered [Caroline]_120-caroline , bursting into violent tears , and scarcely aware of what [she]_0-i was saying , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i know [I]_0-i dislike [Ellen]_113-ellen , and [I]_0-i have reason to dislike [her]_113-ellen , for before [she]_113-ellen came , [you]_1755-you were never so often displeased with [me]_0-i ; [you]_1755-you are always kind and indulgent to [her]_113-ellen , always treat [her]_113-ellen as [a reasonable being]_{1758-a reasonable being} , not as [the child]_{346-the child} , [the infant]_{1760-the infant} [you]_1755-you think [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i know [you]_1755-you have lost all love for [me]_0-i , or [you]_1755-you must have seen [I]_0-i was unhappy , and spoken kindly to [me]_0-i , as [you]_1755-you did to [Ellen]_113-ellen ; [I]_0-i have every reason to dislike [her]_113-ellen , stealing [your]_1755-you affection from [me]_0-i as [she]_113-ellen has , and [I]_0-i do with all [my]_0-i heart ! " "_[113-ellen] Go , and prepare for [our]_1761-our drive , [[my]_0-i dear children]_{1486-my dear children} , " [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} said , as [she]_0-i calmly turned for a moment to [Emmeline]_78-emmeline and [Ellen]_113-ellen , who both stood bewildered , the former from actual terror that [[her]_78-emmeline sister]_{325-her sister} should dare so to address [[her]_78-emmeline mother]_{345-her mother} , and [the latter]_{608-the latter} from pain at the violent avowal of a dislike which [she]_0-i had intuitively felt , but had always tried to disbelieve . "_[113-ellen] The beauty of the day will be gone if [we]_1761-our linger much longer , and [I]_0-i do not intend to be disappointed of [our]_1761-our promised ramble . Do not think any thing of what [this unhappy girl]_{1763-this unhappy girl} is saying ; at present [she]_{1763-this unhappy girl} scarcely knows [herself]_{1763-this unhappy girl} , and will by - and - by wish it recalled , far more intensely than ever [we]_1761-our can . " [Emmeline]_78-emmeline longed to throw [her]_78-emmeline arms round [[her]_78-emmeline mother]_{345-her mother} , and with tears beseech [her]_78-emmeline to forget what [Caroline]_120-caroline had said ; but , though [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had spoken cheerfully , and in quite [her]_0-i usual tone of voice to [them]_1761-our , there was something in [her]_0-i countenance , that checked any display of softness even in [[her]_0-i affectionate child]_{5208-her affectionate child} ; something that almost awed [her]_0-i , and [she]_0-i left [the room]_{356-the room} with [Ellen]_113-ellen to prepare for the promised excursion , which had , however , lost all its anticipated enjoyment from the uncontrolled temper of another . "_{[1763-this unhappy girl]} Now , [Caroline]_120-caroline , [I]_0-i will answer [you]_120-caroline , " said [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , as soon as [they]_5210-they were alone , and again regarding [Caroline]_120-caroline , who was sobbing violently , with that same searching look . "_[0-i] [Your]_120-caroline charges are such very heavy ones , that [I]_0-i really must request [you]_120-caroline during [my]_0-i absence to arrange and define them in some order . [I]_0-i am so perfectly ignorant of having given [you]_120-caroline any foundation for them , that , before [I]_0-i can attempt defense , [you]_120-caroline must inform [me]_0-i exactly and definitely of what [you]_120-caroline complain . That this morning [my]_0-i manner was kinder to [Ellen]_113-ellen than to [you]_120-caroline [I]_0-i quite acknowledge . [Her]_113-ellen inattention and depression had a cause , [yours]_120-caroline had none ; for if [you]_120-caroline were unhappy , it was from [your]_120-caroline own fearful temper , which by encouragement has blackened every thing around [you]_120-caroline . [You]_120-caroline may employ [your]_120-caroline time till dinner as [you]_120-caroline choose ; but at five o'clock come to [me]_0-i in [[my]_0-i dressing - room]_{1764-my dressing - room} , prepared to define and inform [me]_0-i of every charge [you]_120-caroline can bring against [me]_0-i . [You]_120-caroline will consider this a command , [Caroline]_120-caroline , disregard or evasion of which will be disobedience . " [She]_120-caroline left [the room]_{356-the room} , and in a very short time afterward [Caroline]_120-caroline heard [the carriage]_{3444-the carriage} drive off ; but for nearly three long hours [she]_120-caroline never moved from [her]_120-caroline seat , so utterly miserable , as scarcely even to change [her]_120-caroline position . Never in [her]_120-caroline life before , not in [her]_120-caroline most angry moments , had [she]_120-caroline so spoken to [[her]_120-caroline mother]_{345-her mother} , and [her]_120-caroline remorse was almost intolerable . Again and again [she]_120-caroline remembered what [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had told [her]_120-caroline so often , that , if [she]_120-caroline did not strive and pray against the dominion of ill - temper while young , it would become more and more uncontrollable , and the older [she]_120-caroline became , the more difficult to subdue , even in a moderate degree ; and [her]_120-caroline words were indeed true . It had been many months since temper had gained such an ascendency , and its effects were far , far more violent , and its power over [her]_120-caroline more determined , and if , as [she]_120-caroline grew older , it should be still worse , what would become of [her]_120-caroline ? how insufferably wretched ? what would [she]_120-caroline not have given to have recalled [her]_120-caroline words ? The jealousy which had arisen , now [she]_120-caroline knew not how , had sunk into air before those few calm inquiring sentences from [[her]_120-caroline mother]_{345-her mother} , and in [her]_120-caroline excessive misery every kind deed and word and look , every fond indulgence and forbearance , in fact , all the love [[her]_120-caroline mother]_{345-her mother} had so lavished on [her]_120-caroline from [her]_120-caroline infancy , rushed back upon [her]_120-caroline , till [she]_120-caroline actually hated [herself]_120-caroline , and longed the more intensely for the comfort of that soothing affection , which , in real pain or childish sorrow , had never been refused [her]_120-caroline . "_{[120-caroline]} Why , why did [Annie]_129-annie tell [me]_0-i any thing about that hateful ball ? " [she]_0-i exclaimed , at length , as the sound of many joyous voices and the dressing - bell proclaimed the return of [the various members of [[her]_0-i family]_{800-her family}]_{5216-the various members of her family} only in time to prepare for dinner . "_[129-annie] It was all , all from that ; [I]_0-i know now , only from that one thought — one wish . Why was [I]_0-i such [a fool]_{1366-a fool} , as not to tell [mamma]_3420-mamma at once that [I]_0-i knew [I]_0-i was to be asked , and wished so much to go?—if [she]_3420-mamma had refused [me]_0-i , it would not have been half the pain [I]_0-i have made for [myself]_0-i . And how can [I]_0-i meet [papa]_3546-papa 's eye and [Percy]_99-percy 's unkind jokes with eyes like these ? " [she]_0-i added , as on rising to go to [[her]_0-i own room]_{4399-her own room} , [she]_0-i caught sight of [her]_0-i own face in a mirror , and actually started at the disfigurement which the violence of [her]_0-i emotion had wrought . "_[80-mamma] Oh , how [I]_0-i wish [mamma]_80-mamma had not desired [me]_0-i to go to [her]_80-mamma ; that [I]_0-i could but hide [myself]_0-i from every body — or get rid of this horrible black cloud . " From every eye but [[her]_0-i mother]_{345-her mother} 's [she]_0-i could and did hide [herself]_0-i ; for saying that [her]_0-i head ached , which was the truth , and [she]_0-i did not wish any thing to take , [she]_0-i refused to go down to dinner . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had successfully exerted [herself]_{81-mrs. hamilton} during [their]_5220-their excursion , and [Emmeline]_78-emmeline and [Ellen]_113-ellen enjoyed [themselves]_5220-their so thoroughly as almost to forget the alloy of the morning ; and even when [Caroline]_120-caroline 's message recalled it , [the boys]_{5135-the boys} were all so merry , that it did not disturb [them]_{5135-the boys} . [Percy]_99-percy always declared that [Caroline]_120-caroline 's headache was only another term for temper - ache , and [he]_99-percy would certainly have sent [her]_120-caroline some message of mock pity , if [his]_99-percy quick eye had not discovered or fancied that [[his]_99-percy mother]_{330-his mother} did not look quite as well as usual , and so [he]_99-percy contented [himself]_99-percy by trying still more to be the life of the dinner - table . [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had seen at a single glance that all was not quite right , and [Caroline]_120-caroline 's non - appearance and message explained it , to [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} extreme regret , for [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had begun to hope and believe that [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} wife]_{521-his wife} 's extreme solicitude , on [her]_{521-his wife} account , was beginning to decrease . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had not much doubt that silence and solitude had so far had effect on [Caroline]_120-caroline as to subdue passion , and bring [her]_120-caroline to a sense of [her]_120-caroline misconduct ; but that had scarcely power to lessen the anxiety and the pain which [Caroline]_120-caroline 's words had so wantonly inflicted . Had [she]_120-caroline indeed evinced any thing like undue partiality ? the idea alone almost brought a smile ; fondly , and almost as [[her]_120-caroline own child]_{5224-her own child} , as [she]_120-caroline loved [[her]_120-caroline little niece]_{5225-her little niece} . The very anxiety [Caroline]_120-caroline occasioned [her]_120-caroline , deepened [her]_120-caroline affection ; the very control [she]_120-caroline was obliged to exercise in [her]_120-caroline mode of guiding [her]_120-caroline , strengthened every feeling toward [her]_120-caroline . [She]_120-caroline was so enwrapped in these painfully engrossing thoughts , in the strict examination of [her]_120-caroline own own heart , that [she]_120-caroline was not aware the time [she]_120-caroline had appointed had passed by full ten minutes , till [she]_120-caroline was roused by the handle of [her]_120-caroline door being softly turned , and left again , as if [some one]_{5226-some one} had wished to enter , but hesitated . The very hesitation gave [her]_120-caroline hope , for [she]_120-caroline really did not know that the utmost penalty [she]_120-caroline could have inflicted on [Caroline]_120-caroline , in the moment of natural indignation , would have failed in producing such an effect as the simple command to seek [her]_120-caroline , and define [her]_120-caroline charges against [her]_120-caroline , when that angry excitement had so calmed , that [Caroline]_120-caroline would have given worlds , if [she]_120-caroline might but have not referred to it again . [She]_120-caroline knew [she]_120-caroline dared not disobey , but [her]_120-caroline daring had left [her]_120-caroline so powerless that [she]_120-caroline had stood at [[her]_120-caroline mother]_{345-her mother} 's door full ten minutes before [she]_120-caroline could command courage sufficient to open it and enter . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} looked at [her]_120-caroline changed aspect , the bitter humiliation expressed in every feature , with such pity , that it required even more than [her]_0-i usual exercise of control , to retain the grave , and apparently unmoved tone with which [she]_0-i said — "_[1768-you] [You]_1768-you have had a long time in which to reflect on [your]_1768-you charges against [me]_0-i , [Caroline]_120-caroline . [I]_0-i hope they are now sufficiently defined for [me]_0-i to understand and answer [them]_1769-them . [You]_1768-you may sit down , for [you]_1768-you do not seem very capable of standing . " [Caroline]_120-caroline gladly obeyed , by sitting down on a low ottoman , some little distance from [[her]_120-caroline mother]_{345-her mother} , on whose neck [she]_120-caroline absolutely longed to throw [herself]_120-caroline and beseech forgiveness ; but [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's tone was not such as to give [her]_120-caroline courage to do so . [She]_120-caroline remained silent , burying [her]_120-caroline face in [her]_120-caroline hands . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i am waiting [your]_1768-you pleasure , [Caroline]_120-caroline ; [I]_0-i should have thought that [you]_1768-you had had plenty of time to think during [my]_0-i absence . Of what do [you]_1768-you accuse [me]_0-i ? " "_[1768-you] Oh , nothing , nothing ! [mamma]_3420-mamma , [dear mamma]_{3422-dear mamma} , do not speak to [me]_0-i in that tone , [I]_0-i can not bear it ; indeed , indeed , [I]_0-i am miserable enough already ; condemn [me]_0-i to any punishment , the severest [you]_1768-you can , [I]_0-i know [I]_0-i deserve it — but do not , do not speak so . " "_{[120-caroline]} No , [Caroline]_120-caroline ; were [I]_0-i to condemn [you]_120-caroline to any punishment , it would seem more like vengeance for the pain [you]_120-caroline have inflicted on [me]_0-i by [your]_120-caroline accusation of partiality and injustice , than from the hope of producing any good end . [You]_120-caroline are no longer [a child]_{265-a child} , who must be taught the line of duty to [a parent]_{451-a parent} . [You]_120-caroline know it now as well as [I]_0-i can teach it , and if [you]_120-caroline fail , must be answerable only to [yourself]_120-caroline . [I]_0-i can not help [you]_120-caroline any further , than by requesting [you]_120-caroline to explain clearly the origin of [your]_120-caroline complaint against [me]_0-i . [Its]_1774-its main ground of offense is , [I]_0-i believe , that since [Ellen]_113-ellen has become [an inmate of [[my]_0-i family]_{1776-my family}]_{1775-an inmate of my family} [I]_0-i have treated [you]_120-caroline with more harshness and unkindness than [I]_0-i ever did before . Can [you]_120-caroline look back on the last eighteen months and recall one instance in which this has been the case ? [I]_0-i must have an answer , [Caroline]_120-caroline ; [you]_120-caroline may now think explanation is not necessary , and that [you]_120-caroline meant nothing when [you]_120-caroline spoke , but that will not satisfy [me]_0-i nor [you]_120-caroline , when ill - temper regains ascendency . [You]_120-caroline need not refrain from answering for fear of wounding [me]_0-i . [You]_120-caroline can scarcely do that more than [you]_120-caroline have done already . " [Caroline]_120-caroline tried to speak , but [she]_120-caroline could only sob forth , that [she]_120-caroline could not recall one instance , in which [[her]_120-caroline mother]_{345-her mother} had been more displeased with [her]_120-caroline than [her]_120-caroline conduct merited . Acknowledging , but almost inarticulately , that [she]_120-caroline had sometimes fancied that [she]_120-caroline had remained longer cold with [her]_120-caroline than with [Ellen]_113-ellen , after the committal of a fault — and that—(she stopped ) . "_{[120-caroline]} Go on , [Caroline]_120-caroline . " "_{[120-caroline]} [I]_0-i could not feel [my]_0-i faults such heavy ones as [Ellen]_113-ellen 's . " "_[113-ellen] They are of equal , if not greater weight than [[your]_120-caroline cousin]_{929-your cousin} 's , [Caroline]_120-caroline . [You]_120-caroline have been , from [your]_120-caroline earliest infancy , the object of the most tender and devoted care to [[your]_120-caroline father]_{3470-your father} and [myself]_0-i . [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} has followed out [our]_1779-our plans ; [you]_120-caroline have never been exposed to any temptation , not even that of casual bad example . [Ellen]_113-ellen , till [she]_113-ellen became [mine]_0-i , encountered neglect , harshness , all that could not fail in such a character to engender the faults [she]_113-ellen has . [You]_120-caroline can not compare [yourself]_120-caroline with [her]_113-ellen , for , had [you]_120-caroline been situated as [she]_113-ellen was , [I]_0-i fear [you]_120-caroline would have had still heavier failings . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i should never have told untruths , " exclaimed [Caroline]_120-caroline with returning temper . "_[0-i] Perhaps not , for [some persons]_{1780-some persons} are so physically constituted that [they]_{1780-some persons} do not know what fear is ; and harshness would harden , not terrify and crush , as with such dispositions as [Ellen]_113-ellen 's . But [Caroline]_120-caroline , when temper gains dominion over [you]_120-caroline , as it has done to - day , do [you]_120-caroline always think and utter nothing but the truth ? " [Caroline]_120-caroline turned from that penetrating look and burst into tears . Few as the words were , they seemed to flash light into the very inmost recesses of [her]_120-caroline heart , and tell [her]_120-caroline that in moments of uncontrolled temper , in [her]_120-caroline brooding fancies , [she]_120-caroline really did forfeit the truth , on adherence to which [she]_120-caroline so prided [herself]_120-caroline ; and that there was no excuse for [her]_120-caroline in the idea that [she]_120-caroline did not know what [she]_120-caroline said or did — for why had religion and reason been so carefully implanted within [her]_120-caroline , but to enable [her]_120-caroline to subdue the evil temper , ere it acquired such fearful dominion . "_{[120-caroline]} Perhaps [you]_120-caroline have never thought of this before , [Caroline]_120-caroline , " resumed [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , and [her]_0-i tone was not quite so cold ; "_{[120-caroline]} but think of it in future , and it may help [you]_120-caroline to conquer [yourself]_120-caroline . Remember , words can never be recalled , and that , though [you]_120-caroline may have lost such command over [yourself]_120-caroline , as scarcely to know the exact sense of what [you]_120-caroline say , yet those to whom [they]_1781-they are addressed , or [those who may have only heard them]_{1782-those who may have only heard them} , must believe , and so receive , and perhaps act on false impressions , which no after effort will remove . Now to [your]_120-caroline next charge , that [I]_0-i treat [Ellen]_113-ellen as [a reasonable being]_{1758-a reasonable being} , and [you]_120-caroline as a child:—if [you]_120-caroline have the least foundation for this supposition , speak it without hesitation — whence has it arisen ? " For one minute [Caroline]_120-caroline hesitated , but then resolved [she]_120-caroline would atone for [her]_120-caroline fault at least by a full confession . [She]_120-caroline told all the wishes , the hopes [Annie]_129-annie 's information of [Lady Helen]_{127-lady helen} 's promise had imparted , and the pain it was to feel that [[her]_120-caroline mother]_{345-her mother} thought [her]_120-caroline such [a child]_{265-a child} as not to speak to [her]_120-caroline on the subject . "_{[120-caroline]} And if [you]_120-caroline did think so , [Caroline]_120-caroline , why did [you]_120-caroline not from the first moment that [Annie]_129-annie told [you]_120-caroline of it , come to [me]_0-i , and tell [me]_0-i how very much [you]_120-caroline wished it ? [I]_0-i could not , indeed , have granted [your]_120-caroline wishes , but [your]_120-caroline confidence would have been met with such indulgence as would at least have saved [you]_120-caroline some degree of pain . Believing , as [I]_0-i did , and as [Lady Helen]_{127-lady helen} assured [me]_0-i [I]_0-i might with safety , that [you]_120-caroline knew nothing about it — would [you]_120-caroline have thought it kind or judicious in [me]_0-i , had [I]_0-i said , ' [Lady Helen]_{127-lady helen} has persuaded [me]_0-i to take [you]_120-caroline to [[her]_{127-lady helen} ball]_{1784-her ball} , but [I]_0-i have refused [her]_{127-lady helen} . ' [I]_0-i was silent to spare [you]_120-caroline pain , as , had [you]_120-caroline permitted [yourself]_120-caroline calmly to think , [you]_120-caroline would have believed . However , as appearances were , [I]_0-i grant that [I]_0-i have not treated [you]_120-caroline , in this instance , with the consideration that [your]_120-caroline age might perhaps have demanded ; and from [Annie]_129-annie not obeying [Lady Helen]_{127-lady helen} 's desire , that [she]_{127-lady helen} should not mention the subject to [you]_120-caroline , have failed in sparing [you]_120-caroline the pain of disappointment , as [I]_0-i had hoped . But another time , instead of brooding over that which seems want of consideration on [my]_0-i part , come to [me]_0-i at once , and spare [yourself]_120-caroline and [me]_0-i the pain [you]_120-caroline have caused [me]_0-i to - day . [I]_0-i do not think [you]_120-caroline can accuse [me]_0-i of ever meeting [your]_120-caroline confidence with so much harshness as to check such openness on [your]_120-caroline part . " [Caroline]_120-caroline looked hastily up ; [[her]_120-caroline mother]_{345-her mother} 's tone was almost as fond as usual , and , unable to restrain the impulse any longer , [she]_120-caroline started from [her]_120-caroline low seat , and kneeling down close by [her]_{345-her mother} , clung round [her]_{345-her mother} , passionately exclaiming — "_[80-mamma] [Mamma]_80-mamma ! [mamma]_3420-mamma ! pray , forgive [me]_0-i ; [I]_0-i am so very miserable — [I]_0-i can not bear [myself]_0-i — [I]_0-i do not know when [I]_0-i shall be happy again ; for even if [you]_120-caroline forgive [me]_0-i , [I]_0-i know — [I]_0-i know — [I]_0-i never can forgive [myself]_0-i . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i do not wish [you]_120-caroline to forgive [yourself]_120-caroline just yet , [[my]_0-i dear child]_{1285-my dear child} , " replied [[her]_120-caroline mother]_{345-her mother} , not refusing the kiss [Caroline]_120-caroline 's eyes so earnestly besought . "_[0-i] [Your]_120-caroline fault has been such an aggravated one , that [I]_0-i fear it must cause [you]_120-caroline many days of remorse , the most painful kind of suffering which error can bring ; but do not try to shake it off ; [I]_0-i would rather see [you]_120-caroline endure it , and not expect happiness for a few days . [You]_120-caroline know where to seek the only source which can bring peace and comfort , and [you]_120-caroline must endeavor by earnest prayer to strengthen [yourself]_120-caroline for the conflict [you]_120-caroline have so often to encounter . [You]_120-caroline have a very difficult task , [[my]_0-i poor child]_{866-my poor child} , that [I]_0-i know ; and , therefore , do [I]_0-i so try to provide [you]_120-caroline with [a guard]_{1788-a guard} and help . " "_[0-i] If [I]_0-i could but conquer it at first , " answered [Caroline , whose violent excitement had given way to tears of real repentance]_{5234-caroline , whose violent excitement had given way to tears of real repentance} ; "_[0-i] but at first it seems almost a pleasure to [me]_0-i to be cross to every body , and answer pettishly , and as if it were pleasanter to encourage disagreeable thoughts than to read or do any thing that would remove them . And then , when [I]_0-i would give any thing to escape from [them]_1789-them , it seems every body 's fault but [my]_0-i own , and [I]_0-i can not . " "_[0-i] If [you]_120-caroline accustomed [yourself]_120-caroline constantly to pray against this great fault , [[my]_0-i dear child]_{1285-my dear child} , [you]_120-caroline would find , that its very first approach would so startle [you]_120-caroline , that [you]_120-caroline would use every energy to subdue it . But [I]_0-i fear , it is only when temper has made [you]_120-caroline miserable , as it has to - day , that [you]_120-caroline are quite aware of its enormity . [You]_120-caroline do not think the fault great enough to demand the watchfulness and care without which it never will be subdued . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i am afraid [I]_0-i do not indeed , [mamma]_3420-mamma . [I]_0-i know [I]_0-i do not make it a subject of prayer , as [you]_3420-mamma have so often advised [me]_0-i , except when every thing looks so black , and [I]_0-i am so miserable ; and then , [I]_0-i fear , [I]_0-i ask more to be happy again , than for forgiveness of [my]_0-i sin , and for grace and strength to overcome it . [I]_0-i never felt this to be the case so strongly as to - day , but [your]_3420-mamma coldness seems to have shown [me]_0-i [my]_0-i whole self , and [I]_0-i never thought [I]_0-i was so wicked , and so [I]_0-i must be miserable . " [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} involuntarily drew [[her]_0-i child]_{350-her child} more closely to [her]_0-i . The humility , the bitterness of self - reproach , was so unlike [Caroline]_120-caroline 's usual haughtiness — so very much deeper than they had ever been before , that [she]_0-i hoped , in spite of [her]_0-i anxiety , and [her]_0-i voice audibly trembled as [she]_0-i answered — "_[3420-mamma] If [you]_3420-mamma really feel this , [[my]_0-i [Caroline]_120-caroline]_{1792-my caroline} , [you]_3420-mamma will not hesitate to follow [my]_0-i advice , and really pray and watch against this unhappy temper , even when every thing is so smooth and happy , that [you]_3420-mamma can not imagine why [you]_3420-mamma need . [Sin]_193-sin always gains ascendency by using pleasure as [his]_193-sin covering . Do not let a single cross word , or momentary unkind thought , pass unnoticed ; never cease in [your]_3420-mamma petition for grace and strength , but do not be content with only prayer ; [you]_3420-mamma must use effort as well , and if [your]_3420-mamma thoughts will be black , and [you]_3420-mamma feel as if [you]_3420-mamma could not conquer them by [yourself]_3420-mamma , nor banish them even by [your]_3420-mamma favorite employments , come to [me]_0-i , confess them without fear or hesitation to [me]_0-i , and let [us]_1793-us try if [we]_1793-us can not conquer them together . Will [you]_3420-mamma promise [me]_0-i to try this plan , [Caroline]_120-caroline ? " [Caroline]_120-caroline could not reply , for every kind word [[her]_120-caroline mother]_{345-her mother} spoke , seemed to heighten self - reproach , and make [her]_120-caroline still more wretched . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} felt that there was no refusal in [her]_120-caroline silence , and continued talking to [her]_120-caroline in that same gentle strain a little while longer , and then rose to leave [her]_120-caroline — but [Caroline]_120-caroline looked so sorrowful that [she]_120-caroline hesitated . "_[3420-mamma] No , [mamma]_3420-mamma , [I]_0-i do not deserve that [you]_3420-mamma should stay with [me]_0-i , and so deprive [Emmeline]_78-emmeline and [Ellen]_113-ellen , and [the boys]_{5135-the boys} of [their]_{5135-the boys} favorite hour , " [she]_0-i said , though the tears started again to [her]_120-caroline eyes , for [she]_120-caroline felt as if it would be an indescribable comfort still to be alone with [[her]_120-caroline mother]_{345-her mother} . "_[3420-mamma] [I]_0-i am too unhappy and too ashamed to join [them]_{5135-the boys} , if [I]_0-i may remain away ? " [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} answered in the affirmative . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i have not a thing prepared for to - morrow , and — and [I]_0-i do not — indeed , [I]_0-i do not mean to give [you]_3420-mamma any more trouble with [my]_0-i studies . [I]_0-i hate [myself]_0-i for that , too . " "_[0-i] Do not attempt to study to - night , [[my]_0-i dear]_{3485-my dear} [Caroline]_120-caroline ; get up a little earlier to - morrow , to be ready for [me]_0-i , if [you]_3420-mamma like ; but though it will be much more painful to [you]_3420-mamma to remain idle the remainder of this evening than to employ [yourself]_3420-mamma , even with the most disagreeable task , [I]_0-i would much rather [you]_3420-mamma should do so . Once let [temper]_1797-temper be quite subdued , and [your]_3420-mamma heart receive its necessary government , and [I]_0-i have no fear but that [you]_3420-mamma will very quickly make up for lost time ; and even if [you]_3420-mamma did not , believe [me]_0-i , [[my]_0-i dear child]_{1285-my dear child} , the graces of the mind , precious as in general they are considered , and as they are , still are to [me]_0-i actually nothing worth , if unaccompanied by a gentle temper and womanly heart . Do not shrink from the suffering which it will be to sit alone and think on all that has passed to - day ; but let [your]_3420-mamma remorse be accompanied by a resolution ( which [you]_3420-mamma are quite capable of not only forming , but of keeping ) not to rest till by prayer and effort [you]_3420-mamma have sought [God]_85-god 's blessing on [your]_3420-mamma difficult task , and so feel strengthened for its fulfillment ; and also for persevering in it , for [you]_3420-mamma must not hope to succeed in subduing [yourself]_3420-mamma all at once . Do this , and [I]_0-i shall be better pleased than if to - morrow morning [you]_3420-mamma brought [me]_0-i a treble quantity of mental work . " [She]_0-i embraced and left [her]_3420-mamma — to meditations , from whose bitter , though salutary pain , [Caroline]_120-caroline made no attempt to escape ; though , had it not been for [[her]_120-caroline mother]_{345-her mother} 's advice , [she]_120-caroline would gladly have flown to [her]_120-caroline studies , and worked with double assiduity , believing that [she]_120-caroline was , by doing so , atoning for [her]_120-caroline fault , instead of merely shrinking from its remembrance . It was a trial to join [[her]_120-caroline family]_{800-her family} even for prayers ; for [she]_120-caroline felt so self - convicted , so humbled , that [she]_120-caroline fancied [every one]_{4967-every one} must despise [her]_120-caroline ; and when , after the service , [Percy]_99-percy approached , and , with mock sympathy , inquired how [her]_120-caroline headache was , and if [she]_120-caroline had recovered [her]_120-caroline appetite , and begged [her]_120-caroline not to be ill at such a critical time , as [he]_99-percy most particularly wished to go to [Lady Helen]_{127-lady helen} 's ball , and [he]_99-percy could not be so cruel , if [she]_120-caroline were not well , [her]_120-caroline spirit was so broken that the large tears rolled down [her]_120-caroline cheeks , and [she]_120-caroline turned away without uttering a single word . "_[3420-mamma] If [you]_1799-you had taken the trouble to look in [[your]_1799-you sister]_{1110-your sister} 's face , [Percy]_99-percy , [you]_1799-you would not have spoken so unkindly , " said [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , more hastily than [she]_120-caroline was in the habit of interfering ; and as [Caroline]_120-caroline came to [her]_120-caroline , [she]_120-caroline whispered some few fond words , that enabled [her]_120-caroline to wish [[her]_120-caroline father]_{435-her father} good - night and leave [the room]_{356-the room} , without any farther display of emotion . "_[1799-you] Do [you]_1799-you wish [[your]_1799-you sister]_{1110-your sister} to dislike [you]_1799-you , [Percy]_99-percy ? " [she]_120-caroline said gently detaining [him]_99-percy , as [he]_99-percy was following [Caroline]_120-caroline . "_[1799-you] Dislike [me]_0-i , [mother]_3430-mother ? No ! how can [you]_0-i think so ? " "_[0-i] Because [you]_0-i act as if [you]_0-i wished it ; [you]_0-i never see [her]_{1110-your sister} uncomfortable , without trying to make [her]_{1110-your sister} more so , and is that kind ? How can [she]_{1110-your sister} ever look up to and love [you]_1799-you , while such is the case ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i only mean it for fun , [mother]_3430-mother . It is such glorious enjoyment to [me]_0-i to torment , when [I]_0-i see [people]_1055-people cross and miserable for nothing . " "_[0-i] And in the enjoyment of [your]_1799-you fun , [[my]_0-i dear boy]_{1168-my dear boy} , [you]_1799-you forget [other people]_{1085-other people} 's feelings . [I]_0-i must beg [you]_1799-you as an especial favor to [myself]_0-i , that [you]_1799-you will do all [you]_1799-you can to soothe rather than irritate [Caroline]_120-caroline , in the short time that intervenes before [you]_1799-you go to [London]_13-london . [She]_{1110-your sister} will have a hard struggle with [herself]_{1110-your sister} , so do not [you]_1799-you make [her]_{1110-your sister} trial more difficult . " "_[1799-you] Do [you]_1799-you wish it , [mother]_3430-mother , [dear]_3435-dear ? [you]_3430-mother know [I]_0-i would refrain from teasing even for a whole year , if it would please [you]_3430-mother , and give [me]_0-i the privilege of a kiss whenever [I]_0-i like , " [he]_1799-you laughingly answered , looking up in [her]_3430-mother face so archly and yet so fondly , that [[his]_1799-you mother]_{330-his mother} could not help smiling ; promising [she]_3430-mother would not sentence [him]_1799-you to any thing so terrible as not to tease for a whole year , as [she]_3430-mother was quite sure [he]_1799-you would fall into [his]_1799-you old propensities before a quarter of the time had expired . [Lady Helen]_{127-lady helen} 's ball took place ; and [Caroline]_120-caroline had so conquered [herself]_120-caroline , that [she]_120-caroline could listen to [Percy]_99-percy 's flowing account of its delights with actual cheerfulness . It was so associated with self - reproach , that [she]_120-caroline could scarcely think of it without pain ; but [she]_120-caroline was so convinced of [her]_120-caroline folly in permitting such a very little thing so to affect [her]_120-caroline temper as to cause all the misery [she]_120-caroline had endured , that [she]_120-caroline had resolved to punish [herself]_120-caroline , not only by listening to [Percy]_99-percy , but by [herself]_120-caroline inquiring the details . [She]_120-caroline was [a girl of really a strong mind]_{5244-a girl of really a strong mind} , and once convinced of error , once released from the fell dominion of temper , [she]_120-caroline did not care what pain [she]_120-caroline endured , or what difficulty [she]_120-caroline encountered , so that [she]_120-caroline could but convince [[her]_120-caroline mother]_{345-her mother} how truly [she]_120-caroline regretted , and tried to atone for past misconduct . It was very easy , as [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had told [her]_120-caroline , to regain lost time in [her]_120-caroline studies , but not quite so easy to check the cross word or unkind thought , and to break from the black cloud that still at times would envelop [her]_120-caroline . But [she]_120-caroline did not give way , constantly even making opportunities for self - denial , and doing little kindnesses for [Ellen]_113-ellen , though [she]_120-caroline was too truthful to profess an affection which as yet [she]_120-caroline could not feel . Early in the following week [Mr. Grahame]_{148-mr. grahame} came over to [Oakwood]_12-oakwood with a petition . [Annie]_129-annie having taken cold at the party , had been obliged to enact the invalid , much against [her]_129-annie inclination , and so entreated [[her]_120-caroline mother]_{345-her mother} to invite [Caroline]_120-caroline to spend a few days with [her]_120-caroline ; and to [her]_120-caroline astonishment , [[her]_120-caroline cold , harsh father]_{5247-her cold , harsh father} volunteered to go [himself]_{5247-her cold , harsh father} for [her]_120-caroline . [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} at once acceded ; [[his]_{5247-her cold , harsh father} wife]_{521-his wife} hesitated ; but [she]_{345-her mother} went at once to [Caroline]_120-caroline , who chanced to be reading alone in [the school - room]_{544-the school - room} , for it was the time of recreation , and told [her]_120-caroline . For a moment [her]_120-caroline countenance was actually radiant with delight , the next it clouded over . "_[1809-you] [You]_1809-you would like it very much , but [you]_1809-you are afraid [I]_0-i shall not permit [you]_1809-you to go — is that the meaning of [your]_1809-you change of countenance ? " asked [[her]_120-caroline mother]_{345-her mother} , half smiling . "_[1809-you] [I]_0-i am afraid of [myself]_0-i , [mamma]_3420-mamma ; for [I]_0-i fear [I]_0-i am always more ill - tempered and proud after any such pleasure as going to [Moorlands]_28-moorlands would be . " "_[0-i] Would [you]_1809-you rather not go , then ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i can not say quite that , [mamma]_3420-mamma ; [I]_0-i should like it very much , if [I]_0-i could but be sure of [myself]_0-i afterward . " "_[1809-you] Did [you]_1809-you ever feel such a doubt of [yourself]_1809-you before , [Caroline]_120-caroline , when going to stay with [Annie]_129-annie ? " "_[3420-mamma] No , [mamma]_3420-mamma ; [I]_0-i seem to have thought a great deal more the last few days , and not to feel half so sure of [myself]_0-i . " "_[0-i] Then [I]_0-i think there is less danger for [you]_1809-you , that is , of course , if [you]_1809-you are willing to risk the temptation of [Lady Helen]_{127-lady helen} 's too kind consideration and lavish praises , which make [mine]_0-i so very tame . " "_{[127-lady helen]} Oh , [mamma]_3420-mamma , pray do not say so , " interrupted [Caroline]_120-caroline , very eagerly . "_[3420-mamma] Indeed , [I]_0-i would rather hear [you]_1809-you speak and see [you]_1809-you smile as [you]_1809-you do now , than listen to all that [Lady Helen]_{127-lady helen} is so kind as to say . [I]_0-i know [I]_0-i did like it very much , and that it did sometimes make [me]_0-i fancy when [I]_0-i came [home]_563-home , that [you]_1809-you were almost cold . But , indeed , indeed , [I]_0-i hope [I]_0-i am learning to know [you]_1809-you better . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i hope so , too , [dearest]_861-dearest . But [Mr. Grahame]_{148-mr. grahame} is waiting for [you]_1809-you ; and , by - the - by , begged [me]_0-i to ask [you]_1809-you for some lines [you]_1809-you promised to copy out for a print in [Lady Helen]_{127-lady helen} 's album . [You]_1809-you may do just as [you]_1809-you like about going , because [you]_1809-you are quite old and wise enough to decide for [yourself]_1809-you . Ill - temper always brings such suffering with it , that if pleasure must recall it , [you]_1809-you will be wiser not to go ; but if [you]_1809-you can resist it — if [you]_1809-you think [you]_1809-you can return to [your]_1809-you quiet daily routine as forbearing and gentle and happy as [you]_1809-you are now , go , [[my]_0-i love]_{3456-my love} , and enjoy [yourself]_1809-you as much as [you]_1809-you can . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i will try and remember all [you]_1809-you said about prayer when [we]_1817-we think [we]_1817-we are most secure , [dear mamma]_{3422-dear mamma} , " answered [Caroline]_120-caroline , in a very earnest and somewhat lowered voice . "_[1809-you] [I]_0-i know , whenever [I]_0-i have been to [Moorlands]_28-moorlands before , [I]_0-i have felt so elated , so sure [I]_0-i should never be in an ill - temper , so proud from being made so much of , that [I]_0-i fear [I]_0-i have very often relaxed even in [my]_0-i daily prayers , and never thought it necessary to pray against ill - temper . Do [you]_1809-you think if [I]_0-i watch [myself]_0-i , and still pray against it , it will save [me]_0-i from being cross and unkind on [my]_0-i return ? " "_[1809-you] It will undoubtedly help [you]_1809-you , [[my]_0-i dear child]_{1285-my dear child} , very considerably , and render [your]_1809-you trial very much easier , but [I]_0-i can not promise [you]_1809-you that it will entirely prevent the inclination to feel pettish and unhappy . [I]_0-i have no doubt that in time it will prevent even that ; but now , [you]_1809-you know , it is very early days , and [you]_1809-you have not yet forgotten the bitter pain of last week ; still [I]_0-i think [you]_1809-you may venture to go , love , and if [I]_0-i do see [you]_1809-you happy and gentle on [your]_1809-you return , it will do much toward convincing [me]_0-i [you]_1809-you are striving in earnest . Make haste and get ready , and do not forget the poem . [I]_0-i will send over [your]_1809-you things . Tell [Lady Helen]_{127-lady helen} [I]_0-i shall expect all [[her]_{127-lady helen} family]_{800-her family} next Monday evening , to join [Edward]_76-edward 's little farewell - party , and [you]_1809-you can return with [them]_{800-her family} . " With the most delighted alacrity [Caroline]_120-caroline hastened to get ready , and in [her]_120-caroline hurry forgot the poem till [she]_120-caroline re - entered [the school - room]_{544-the school - room} , which was still untenanted . "_[0-i] What shall [I]_0-i do for some writing - paper ? " [she]_0-i thought ; "_[0-i] the desks are all put away , and it will detain [me]_0-i so long to go up again for the keys , and the volume is too large to carry — oh , [I]_0-i will tear out a blank page from this book , it will not be very elegant , but [I]_0-i can recopy it at [Moorlands]_28-moorlands . " And [she]_0-i hastily tore out a page from an exercise - book which lay open on the table ; not perceiving that by doing so , a fellow - leaf , which was written on , was loosened , and fell to the ground , mingling with some torn papers which had been put in a heap to be cleared away . [She]_0-i had just finished it , when [Fanny]_170-fanny came to tell [her]_120-caroline [Mr. Grahame]_{148-mr. grahame} could not wait any longer , and asking if all the papers on the ground were to be removed , [Caroline]_120-caroline hastily answered in the affirmative , without looking at them , and [the girl]_{4819-the girl} bore them off in [her]_{4819-the girl} apron , the written leaf among them . Now it so happened that this written leaf had already occasioned trouble . [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} had been so displeased with [Ellen]_113-ellen 's careless performance of a French exercise that morning , that [she]_{112-miss harcourt} had desired [her]_{112-miss harcourt} to write it again . It was very difficult , and had materially shortened the time which [she]_{112-miss harcourt} had promised to devote to [Edward]_76-edward , who was this week released from [his]_76-edward attendance on [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} , to permit [him]_76-edward and [Ellen]_113-ellen to be as much together as possible . Hurried by [him]_76-edward , [she]_0-i left [her]_0-i book open on the table to dry , and , finding it closed on [her]_0-i return , put it away , without looking at it . The following day [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} , of course , requested to see it , and , to [Ellen]_113-ellen 's utter astonishment , [her]_0-i exercise was not there ; only the faulty and blotted theme , with no sign to explain its disappearance . Now [we]_5253-we know [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} was rather prejudiced against [Ellen]_113-ellen , and , as [she]_{112-miss harcourt} had unhappily failed in truth more than once ( perhaps [she]_{112-miss harcourt} was not so unjust and harsh as poor [Ellen]_113-ellen felt [her]_{112-miss harcourt} to be ) , [she]_{112-miss harcourt} refused to believe [her]_{112-miss harcourt} assurance that [she]_{112-miss harcourt} had written it . [No one]_{3540-no one} had been in [the school - room]_{544-the school - room} at the time to whom [she]_0-i could refer : if [Ellen]_113-ellen had never disobeyed or deceived , of course [her]_0-i word would be sufficient , as [[her]_113-ellen brother]_{384-her brother} 's and [cousins]_4716-cousins ' would . "_[113-ellen] That [you]_1821-you have failed again , both in obedience and truth , [Ellen]_113-ellen , [I]_0-i can not for a moment doubt , and it certainly would be [my]_0-i duty to inform [[your]_1821-you aunt]_{3426-your aunt} directly ; but as [I]_0-i know it would cause [her]_{3426-your aunt} real suffering to be compelled to punish [you]_1821-you just this last week that [Edward]_76-edward will be with [us]_1823-us for some time , [I]_0-i shall say nothing about it to [her]_{3426-your aunt} , nor inflict any penalty on [you]_1821-you to attract [her]_{3426-your aunt} notice , but it is entirely for [her]_{3426-your aunt} sake [I]_0-i forbear . One so hardened in falsehood as [you]_1821-you must be , so soon to forget [her]_{3426-your aunt} kind indulgence after [your]_1821-you fault only a few weeks ago , can deserve nothing but harshness and contempt . [I]_0-i shall certainly , after this week , warn [her]_{3426-your aunt} not to trust too implicitly in [your]_1821-you artful professions of repentance . " [Poor Ellen]_113-ellen felt too bewildered and too miserable even to cry . That [she]_113-ellen had written [her]_113-ellen exercise , [she]_113-ellen was as positive as that [she]_113-ellen had been told to do so ; but if [she]_113-ellen had — what had become of it ? Harsh as [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} seemed , appearances were certainly very much against [her]_113-ellen . [She]_113-ellen had not a single proof that [she]_113-ellen had obeyed , and [her]_113-ellen word was nothing ; even [Emmeline]_78-emmeline looked at [her]_113-ellen doubtingly , and as if [she]_78-emmeline could scarcely even pity [her]_113-ellen . It was very little comfort to think [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} was not to be told . [Her]_113-ellen own impulse was to go to [her]_{367-her aunt} , and tell [her]_{367-her aunt} at once ; but how could [she]_113-ellen be believed ? and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's words—"If_[1824-you] [I]_0-i ever discover another untruth , [you]_1824-you will compel [me]_0-i to adopt still severer measures , pain as it will be to [myself]_0-i , " the remembrance of all [she]_113-ellen had suffered , the disappointment it would be to [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} to think all [she]_113-ellen had said and read to [her]_{367-her aunt} were forgotten , when in reality [she]_113-ellen was constantly thinking of and trying to act on them , all checked the impulse , and terrified [her]_113-ellen into silence . [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} was not [an acute physiognomist]_{5260-an acute physiognomist} ; [she]_{112-miss harcourt} could only read in [Ellen]_113-ellen 's face hardihood and recklessness . [We]_5261-we rather think [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} would have read something very different ; but [she]_113-ellen was very much engaged with [Edward]_76-edward , and if [she]_113-ellen did think [Ellen]_113-ellen looked much more out of spirits , [she]_113-ellen attributed it to natural feeling at the rapid approach of the day of separation . For [[her]_113-ellen brother]_{384-her brother} 's sake , to prove to [him]_76-edward [she]_113-ellen could enter into [his]_76-edward joy , [she]_113-ellen tried very hard not to evince the least symptom of depression , and never to cry before [him]_76-edward at least ; though every night , that told [her]_113-ellen another day had gone , and brought before [her]_113-ellen all sorts of vague feelings and fancies of dread , [she]_113-ellen either cried [herself]_113-ellen to sleep , or laid awake , still more unhappy . The suspicion attached to [her]_113-ellen seemed to double the severity of the trial of parting . [Edward]_76-edward was [her]_113-ellen own ; [Edward]_76-edward must love [her]_113-ellen , with all [her]_113-ellen faults ; but even [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} , [[her]_113-ellen kind]_{5264-her kind} , dear , [good aunt]_{5265-good aunt} , must cease to have any affection for [her]_113-ellen , if so constantly believed guilty of a sin so terrible as falsehood . And [she]_113-ellen seemed to love [[her]_113-ellen brother]_{384-her brother} still more than ever , every day that brought the hour of parting nearer — sometimes as if [she]_113-ellen could not bear the pain of not being able to look at [his]_{384-her brother} bright face , and listen to [his]_{384-her brother} glad laugh and dear voice for three , perhaps six long years . [[Her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} 's gentle kindness seemed to increase [her]_{367-her aunt} unhappiness , for though [she]_{367-her aunt} knew [she]_{367-her aunt} was innocent , still [she]_{367-her aunt} felt , if [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} had told [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , [she]_{367-her aunt} could not be so caressed and cared for and [she]_{367-her aunt} was receiving that which [she]_{367-her aunt} was believed to have forfeited . [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} 's face certainly seemed to ask [her]_{367-her aunt} as distinctly as words , how [she]_{367-her aunt} could be so artful — so deceitful — as to permit [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} to take such notice of [her]_{367-her aunt} ; and so [she]_{367-her aunt} often shrunk away , when [she]_{367-her aunt} most longed to sit by and listen to [her]_{367-her aunt} . [Edward]_76-edward 's spirits never sobered , except now and then , when [he]_76-edward thought of leaving [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , to whom [he]_76-edward had given the same love [he]_76-edward had lavished on [[his]_76-edward mother]_{330-his mother} , perhaps to a still greater extent , for reverence was largely mingled with it . [Mr Howard]_{128-mr. howard} , too , was another whom [he]_76-edward grieved to leave , and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} so trusted in these apparently strong affections and [his]_76-edward good disposition , as to feel but little anxiety ; merely sorrow that [she]_{330-his mother} was to lose [him]_76-edward for a profession of danger . [She]_{330-his mother} did not know , nor did [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} , nor [Edward]_76-edward [himself]_76-edward , that [he]_76-edward was one who would be guided more by the influence of those with whom [he]_76-edward was intimately thrown , than [by any memory of the absent , or judgment of]_{5270-by any memory of the absent , or judgment of} [his]_76-edward own . [Ellen]_113-ellen 's manner on Monday evening annoyed and prejudiced [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} still more ; [Mrs. Greville]_{140-mrs. greville} and [Mary]_143-mary , [Lady Helen]_{127-lady helen} and all [[her]_{127-lady helen} family]_{800-her family} , bringing [Caroline]_120-caroline [home]_563-home with [them]_5273-them , [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} , and [some of [[Edward]_76-edward 's favorite companions]_{5275-edward 's favorite companions} , all assembled at [Oakwood]_12-oakwood]_{5274-some of edward 's favorite companions , all assembled at oakwood} , and [every one]_{4967-every one} was determined to be gay and cheerful , and [Edward]_76-edward 's voice was the merriest , and [his]_76-edward laugh the happiest there ; and [Ellen]_113-ellen , though [her]_113-ellen head ached with the effort , and the constant struggle of the preceding week , was quite cheerful too , and talked to [Mary Greville]_143-mary , and [Lilla]_169-lilla and [Cecil Grahame]_159-cecil , and even to [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} , as [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} felt [she]_{112-miss harcourt} had no right to do ; and as must prove [her]_113-ellen to be that which [she]_{112-miss harcourt} had always fancied [her]_113-ellen . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , on the contrary , saw that in the very midst of a laugh , or of speaking , [[her]_{112-miss harcourt} niece]_{372-her niece} 's eye would rest upon [Edward]_76-edward , and the lip quite quiver , and [her]_{112-miss harcourt} smile become for the moment so strained , that [she]_{112-miss harcourt} was satisfied [Ellen]_113-ellen 's cheerfulness proceeded from no want of feeling ; [she]_{112-miss harcourt} wondered , indeed , at so much control at such an early age , but [she]_{112-miss harcourt} loved [her]_113-ellen for it , notwithstanding . Once only [Ellen]_113-ellen was nearly conquered . [Mary]_143-mary had begged [her]_113-ellen to sing a little Hindoo air , of which [she]_143-mary was particularly fond , and [Edward]_76-edward , hearing the request , said eagerly — "_[1824-you] Do sing it , dear [Ellen]_113-ellen ; [I]_0-i am quite as fond of it as [Mary]_143-mary is , for it seems to make [me]_0-i think of [India]_7-india and [poor mamma]_{1458-poor mamma} , and it will be such a long time before [I]_0-i hear it again . " [She]_113-ellen had never in [her]_113-ellen whole life felt so disinclined to sing , so as if it were quite impossible — as if [she]_113-ellen must cry if [she]_113-ellen did ; but [Edward]_76-edward would think it so unkind if [she]_113-ellen refused , for [she]_113-ellen did not know [herself]_113-ellen why [his]_76-edward very words should have increased the difficulty , and what reason could [she]_113-ellen give [him]_76-edward ? [Mary]_143-mary went and asked [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} to accompany [her]_143-mary ; and [Ellen]_113-ellen did [her]_113-ellen very best , but [her]_113-ellen voice would tremble , and just before the end of the second verse it failed entirely ; but still [she]_113-ellen was glad [she]_113-ellen had tried , for on [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} saying , very kindly , and in a voice that only [she]_0-i and [Mary]_143-mary could hear , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i was half afraid [you]_1826-you would not succeed to - night , [[my]_0-i dear]_{3485-my dear} [Ellen]_113-ellen , but [you]_1826-you were quite right to try , " [Mary]_143-mary seemed to understand at once why it had been so difficult for [her]_143-mary to oblige [her]_143-mary , and to be quite sorry [she]_143-mary had pressed it so much , and [Edward]_76-edward had thanked [her]_143-mary , and told [her]_143-mary [he]_76-edward should sing it in idea very often . [She]_143-mary tried to be merry again , but [she]_143-mary could not succeed as before , and so [she]_143-mary kept as near [[her]_143-mary aunt]_{367-her aunt} as [she]_143-mary could , all the remainder of the evening , as if [she]_143-mary were only safe there . [Edward]_76-edward , too , had a hard battle with [himself]_76-edward , as one by one [[his]_76-edward favorite companions]_{5279-his favorite companions} took leave of [him]_76-edward with a hearty shake of the hand , and eager — but in some , half - choked wishes for [his]_76-edward health and prosperity ; and when all had gone , and [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} , who had remained for prayers , took [him]_76-edward in [his]_{128-mr. howard} arms , and solemnly prayed [God]_85-god to bless [him]_76-edward , and save [him]_76-edward from danger and temptation , and permit [him]_76-edward to return to [[his]_76-edward family]_{4086-his family} , improved in all things that would make [him]_76-edward [an affectionate guardian to [[his]_76-edward orphan sister]_{5282-his orphan sister} , and repay all the love and care of [[his]_76-edward aunt]_{365-his aunt} and [uncle]_3425-uncle]_{5281-an affectionate guardian to his orphan sister , and repay all the love and care of his aunt and uncle} , it was a desperate effort that prevented [him]_76-edward from sobbing like [a child]_{265-a child} ; but [he]_76-edward had [his]_76-edward midshipman 's uniform on for the first time , and [he]_76-edward was quite resolved [he]_76-edward would not disgrace it ; therefore [he]_76-edward only returned [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} 's embrace very warmly , and ran out of [the room]_{356-the room} . But when [[his]_76-edward aunt]_{365-his aunt} went into [[his]_76-edward room]_{5288-his room} an hour afterward , it appeared as if [he]_76-edward had put off [his]_76-edward pride and [his]_76-edward uniform together , for , though [he]_76-edward was fast asleep , [his]_76-edward pillow was quite wet with tears . The next morning was a very sad one , though [Percy]_99-percy and [[his]_76-edward father]_{406-his father} did all [they]_5290-they could to make it cheerful ( [we]_5291-we ought to have said before that [Percy]_99-percy and [Herbert]_102-herbert were both going with [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} and [Edward]_76-edward ) . [No one]_{3540-no one} liked the idea of losing [Edward]_76-edward for so long a time . [He]_76-edward had made [himself]_76-edward a favorite with [all]_4750-all , even with [every one of [the servants]_{4009-the servants}]_{5294-every one of the servants} , who , when [the carriage]_{3444-the carriage} was ready at eleven o'clock , thronged into [the hall]_{836-the hall} to take a last look at [him]_76-edward . [He]_76-edward was so altered , that [he]_76-edward had that morning , actually of [his]_76-edward own accord , shaken hands with [every one of [them]_{4009-the servants} who had ever done any thing for [him]_76-edward]_{5298-every one of them who had ever done any thing for him} , especially [Ellis]_135-ellis and [Morris]_134-morris , and [Robert]_102-herbert , to whom [he]_76-edward had given a very handsome present , and thanked [him]_76-edward for all [his]_76-edward attention . [He]_76-edward kept up very manfully till [he]_76-edward came to [[his]_76-edward aunt]_{365-his aunt} , whose emotion , as [she]_{365-his aunt} held [him]_76-edward in a close embrace , was so unusually visible , and for the moment [he]_76-edward seemed so to love [her]_{365-his aunt} , that the idea of [the sea]_{1714-the sea} lost half its delight , and [he]_76-edward felt as if [he]_76-edward could almost have liked to remain with [her]_{365-his aunt} . But [Percy]_99-percy 's joyous voice — "_[1826-you] Come , [Master Edward]_194-edward , [I]_0-i thought [you]_194-edward were [a sailor]_{3421-a sailor} , not [a school - boy]_{1372-a school - boy} . Off with [you]_194-edward ; [you]_194-edward will not give [me]_0-i time or room for one kiss from [mamma]_3420-mamma before [we]_1831-we go , " roused [him]_194-edward , and [he]_194-edward tried to laugh in the midst of [his]_194-edward tears , gave [Ellen]_113-ellen another kiss , and ran into [the carriage]_{3444-the carriage} , where [he]_194-edward was quickly followed by [[his]_194-edward uncle]_{443-his uncle} and [cousins]_4716-cousins , and in a very few minutes [Oakwood]_12-oakwood , dear , happy [Oakwood]_12-oakwood , as [his]_194-edward whole heart felt it at that moment , was hidden from [his]_194-edward sight . [Ellen]_113-ellen remained by the window , looking after [the carriage]_{3444-the carriage} , long after it was impossible to see or hear it , very pale , and [her]_113-ellen eyes very heavy , but not in tears ; and as [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} went to [her]_113-ellen , and put [her]_{367-her aunt} arm round [her]_113-ellen , and began talking to [her]_113-ellen very cheerfully of all [Edward]_194-edward would have to write to [her]_113-ellen about , and how soon [they]_5306-they might hear from [him]_194-edward , and that [Ellen]_113-ellen should answer [him]_194-edward as often and as fully as [she]_113-ellen liked , and that [she]_113-ellen would not even ask to see [her]_113-ellen letters to [him]_194-edward , or all [his]_194-edward to [her]_113-ellen , as [they]_5306-they might have many little affectionate things to say to [each other]_{938-each other} , that [they]_5306-they might not care about [any one else]_{383-any one else} seeing , and [she]_113-ellen would trust [them]_5306-they both — [Ellen]_113-ellen seemed as if one pain was soothed , and if indeed [she]_113-ellen heard often from [him]_194-edward , [she]_113-ellen might bear [his]_194-edward departure . But there was still the other source of unhappiness , recalled every time [she]_113-ellen met [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} 's cold suspicious look , which had not changed even then . Still [she]_113-ellen tried to join [[her]_113-ellen cousins]_{3955-her cousins} , and get [her]_113-ellen work , for there were no studies that morning , and so some little time passed , by [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's exertions , almost cheerfully ; but then [Ellen]_113-ellen left [the room]_{356-the room} to get something [she]_113-ellen wanted , and , in seeking [her]_113-ellen own , passed [[Edward]_194-edward 's room]_{5311-edward 's room} , the door of which stood half open . [She]_113-ellen could not resist entering , and every thing spoke of [him]_194-edward so vividly , and yet seemed so to tell [her]_113-ellen [he]_194-edward had gone , really gone , and [she]_113-ellen was quite alone , that all the pain came back again worse than ever , and [she]_113-ellen laid [her]_113-ellen head on [his]_194-edward pillow , and [her]_113-ellen long - checked tears flowed with almost passionate violence . "_[194-edward] [[My]_0-i dear]_{3485-my dear} [Ellen]_113-ellen , [I]_0-i have been looking for [you]_113-ellen every where , " said [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} 's kind voice , full an hour afterward ; "_[0-i] [Emmeline]_78-emmeline went into [[your]_113-ellen room]_{1833-your room} and could not find [you]_113-ellen , and [I]_0-i could not imagine what had become of [you]_113-ellen . It was not wise of [you]_113-ellen to come [here]_3850-here just this morning , love . [You]_113-ellen have been so brave , so unselfish all this week , that [I]_0-i must not let [you]_113-ellen give way now . Try and think only that [Edward]_194-edward will be happier as [a sailor]_{3421-a sailor} than [he]_194-edward would be remaining with [you]_113-ellen ; and though [I]_0-i know [you]_113-ellen must miss [him]_194-edward very , very painfully , [you]_113-ellen will be able to bear it better . [Poor [Alice Seaton]_195-alice , of whom [you]_113-ellen have heard [me]_0-i speak , has no such comfort]_195-alice ; [[her]_195-alice brother]_{384-her brother} could not bear the idea of a sea life , and is scarcely strong enough for it ; and yet , [poor fellow]_{1323-poor fellow} , it is the only opening [[his]_{1323-poor fellow} uncle]_{443-his uncle} has for [him]_{1323-poor fellow} , and [[his]_{1323-poor fellow} poor sister]_{1839-his poor sister} had not only that pain to bear — for [you]_113-ellen can fancy how dreadful it would be , if [Edward]_194-edward had left [us]_1840-us for a life in which [he]_194-edward thought [he]_194-edward should be miserable — but is obliged to leave [the aunt [she]_{1841-the aunt she loves} loves]_{1841-the aunt she loves} , as much , [I]_0-i think , as [you]_113-ellen love [me]_0-i , [Ellen]_113-ellen , and go as [a teacher in [a school]_{1843-a school}]_{1842-a teacher in a school} , to bear [her]_{1841-the aunt she loves} accumulated sorrow quite alone . Sad as [your]_113-ellen trial is , [you]_113-ellen have still many things to bless [God]_85-god for , dearest , as [I]_0-i am sure [you]_113-ellen will acknowledge , if , when the pain of the present moment has subsided , [you]_113-ellen think of [Alice]_195-alice , and try to put [yourself]_113-ellen in [her]_195-alice place . " "_[195-alice] It is not only parting from [Edward]_194-edward , " answered [Ellen]_113-ellen , trying to check [her]_113-ellen tears , but clasping [her]_113-ellen arms still closer round [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} , as if dreading that [her]_113-ellen own words should send [her]_113-ellen from [her]_{367-her aunt} . "_[195-alice] Not only parting from [Edward]_194-edward , [Ellen]_113-ellen , love ! what is it then ? tell [me]_0-i , " replied [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , surprised and almost alarmed . But [Ellen]_113-ellen could not go on , much as [she]_113-ellen wished it , for [her]_113-ellen momentary courage had deserted [her]_113-ellen , and [she]_113-ellen could only cry more bitterly than before . "_[0-i] Have [you]_113-ellen done any thing wrong , [Ellen]_113-ellen ? and have [you]_113-ellen forgotten [my]_0-i promise ? " inquired [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} , after waiting several minutes , and speaking very sorrowfully . "_[113-ellen] [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} thinks [I]_0-i have , [aunt]_1460-aunt ; but indeed , indeed , [I]_0-i have not ; [I]_0-i have not been so very wicked as to tell another falsehood . [I]_0-i know [no one]_{3540-no one} can believe [me]_0-i , but [I]_0-i would rather [you]_113-ellen should know it , even if — if [you]_113-ellen punish [me]_0-i again . " "_[113-ellen] [You]_113-ellen must try to be more calm , [[my]_0-i dear]_{3485-my dear} [Ellen]_113-ellen , and tell [me]_0-i clearly what is causing [you]_113-ellen so much additional suffering ; for [I]_0-i can not quite understand [you]_113-ellen . [I]_0-i certainly shall not punish [you]_113-ellen , unless quite convinced [you]_113-ellen have failed in truth again , which [I]_0-i do not think [you]_113-ellen have . Tell [me]_0-i exactly what it is , and look at [me]_0-i while [you]_113-ellen are speaking . " [Ellen]_113-ellen tried to obey , but [her]_113-ellen grief had gained such an ascendency , that it was very difficult . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} looked very thoughtful when [she]_0-i ceased , for [she]_0-i really was more perplexed than [she]_0-i allowed [Ellen]_113-ellen to perceive ; and [the poor child]_{399-the poor child} , fancying [her]_0-i silence could only mean disbelief and condemnation , remained quiet and trembling by [her]_0-i side . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i promised [you]_113-ellen that [I]_0-i would not doubt [you]_113-ellen , [Ellen]_113-ellen , and [I]_0-i will not now , though appearances are so strong against [you]_113-ellen , " [she]_0-i said , after several minutes ' thought . "_[113-ellen] Come with [me]_0-i to [the school - room]_{544-the school - room} , and show [me]_0-i [your]_113-ellen exercise - book ; [I]_0-i may find some clew to explain this mystery . " [Ellen]_113-ellen thought that was quite impossible ; but , inexpressibly comforted by [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} 's trust , [she]_113-ellen went with [her]_{367-her aunt} directly . "_[113-ellen] [Ellen]_113-ellen has been telling [me]_0-i that [you]_113-ellen have been very much displeased with [her]_113-ellen , [[my]_0-i dear]_{3485-my dear} [Lucy]_111-lucy , " [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} said , directly [she]_0-i entered , addressing [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} , who was sitting reading with [Caroline]_120-caroline and [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , "_[113-ellen] and certainly with great apparent justice ; but [she]_113-ellen is so unhappy about it , that [I]_0-i can scarcely believe that [she]_113-ellen has forgotten all which passed between [us]_1849-we a short time ago , and [I]_0-i am going , therefore , with [your]_113-ellen permission , to try if [I]_0-i can not discover something that may throw a light on the subject . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i am afraid that will scarcely be possible , " replied [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} ; "_[113-ellen] however , [I]_0-i am glad [she]_113-ellen has had the candor to tell [you]_113-ellen , instead of continuing to receive [your]_113-ellen notice , as [she]_113-ellen has done the last week . " [Ellen]_113-ellen had brought [her]_113-ellen book while [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} was speaking , and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} attentively examined it . "_[113-ellen] Did [you]_113-ellen not begin one like this the same day , [Caroline]_120-caroline ? " "_{[120-caroline]} Yes , [mamma]_3420-mamma ; do n't [you]_113-ellen remember [we]_1849-we were obliged to send to [Harris]_{161-mr. harris} for [them]_1851-they ? as the parcel with the stationery did not come from [Exeter]_25-exeter as soon as [we]_1849-we expected . And [we]_1849-we noticed how much thinner they were , though they were the same sized books . " "_[1849-we] And did [I]_0-i not hear [you]_113-ellen say something about [their]_1851-they having the same number of leaves , and therefore it must have been only the quality of the paper which made the difference ? " "_[113-ellen] What a memory [you]_113-ellen have , [mamma]_3420-mamma , " answered [Caroline]_120-caroline , smiling . "_[113-ellen] [I]_0-i did not think [you]_113-ellen were taking the least notice of [us]_1849-we , but [I]_0-i do remember saying so now , and , indeed , [I]_0-i very often wish the quality had been the same , for [our]_1849-we writing looks horrid . " "_[113-ellen] Do [you]_113-ellen happen to remember the number of leaves [they]_1851-they contained , and if [they]_1851-they were both alike ? " "_[113-ellen] [I]_0-i know [they]_1851-they had both the same number , and [I]_0-i think it was two - and - twenty , but [I]_0-i can tell [you]_113-ellen in a moment . " And with [her]_0-i usual quickness of movement , [Caroline]_120-caroline unlocked [her]_0-i desk , drew forth [her]_0-i book , and ran over the leaves . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i am right — two - and - twenty . " "_[0-i] And [you]_113-ellen are quite sure [they]_1851-they had both the same number ? " "_[113-ellen] Perfectly certain , [mamma]_3420-mamma . " "_[113-ellen] Then , by some incomprehensible means , two leaves have disappeared from [Ellen's]_155-ellen's — here are only twenty . Have [you]_113-ellen ever torn a leaf out , [Ellen]_113-ellen ? " "_[113-ellen] No , [aunt]_1460-aunt , indeed [I]_0-i have not . " "_[113-ellen] When did [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} tell [you]_113-ellen to write this missing exercise ? " "_{[112-miss harcourt]} Last Monday week — [I]_0-i mean yesterday week . " "_{[112-miss harcourt]} Where did [you]_113-ellen write it , and what did [you]_113-ellen do with [your]_113-ellen book afterward ? " "_[113-ellen] [I]_0-i wrote it at this table , [aunt]_1460-aunt : [I]_0-i was so sorry [I]_0-i had to do it , when [Edward]_194-edward depended so much on [my]_0-i going out with [him]_194-edward , that [I]_0-i thought it would save time not to get [my]_0-i desk ; and as soon as it was done , [I]_0-i left it open to dry . When [I]_0-i came [home]_563-home [it]_1857-it was closed , and [I]_0-i put it away without looking at it , and the next morning the exercise was not there . " "_[0-i] Who was in [this room]_{1858-this room} after [you]_113-ellen left [it]_1857-it ? by - the - by , it was the morning [you]_113-ellen went to [Lady Helen]_{127-lady helen} 's , [Caroline]_120-caroline ; did [you]_113-ellen notice [Ellen]_113-ellen 's book open , as [she]_113-ellen said ? Why , what is the matter , [[my]_0-i dear]_{3485-my dear} ? " [she]_0-i added , observing that [Caroline]_120-caroline looked as if some sudden light had flashed upon [her]_120-caroline , and then , really grieved . "_[113-ellen] [I]_0-i am so very , very sorry , [mamma]_3420-mamma ; [I]_0-i do believe it has been all [my]_0-i haste and carelessness that has caused [Ellen]_113-ellen all this unhappiness . [I]_0-i was in such a hurry to copy the poem for [Lady Helen]_{127-lady helen} , that [I]_0-i tore a blank leaf out of an open book on the table , without thinking whose it was . In [my]_0-i haste the book fell to the ground , [I]_0-i picked it up to write on it , but never noticed if the fellow - leaf fell out , which it must have done , and no doubt [Fanny]_170-fanny carried it away with some other torn papers , which [she]_170-fanny asked [me]_0-i if [she]_170-fanny were to destroy . [I]_0-i am more sorry than [I]_0-i can tell [you]_113-ellen , [Ellen]_113-ellen ; pray believe that [I]_0-i did not do it purposely . " "_[113-ellen] [I]_0-i am sure [she]_113-ellen will , if it be only for the comfort of [our]_1861-our knowing the truth , " said [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , truly relieved , not only from the explanation , but perceiving [Caroline]_120-caroline 's voluntarily offered kiss was willingly and heartily returned by [Ellen]_113-ellen . It was almost the first [she]_0-i had ever seen exchanged between [them]_1861-our . "_[113-ellen] [I]_0-i must believe [you]_113-ellen , [dear [Caroline]_120-caroline]_{1862-dear caroline} , for [you]_113-ellen never say what [you]_113-ellen do not mean , " said [Ellen]_113-ellen , earnestly ; "_[113-ellen] but [I]_0-i do so wish [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} could see [my]_0-i exercise ; [she]_{112-miss harcourt} would quite believe [me]_0-i then . " "_{[112-miss harcourt]} And [we]_1861-our should all be more satisfied , " replied [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , perceiving in a moment that [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} still doubted , and ringing the bell , [she]_{182-miss hamilton} desired [the footman]_{5317-the footman} to send [Fanny]_170-fanny to [her]_{182-miss hamilton} . "_{[112-miss harcourt]} Do [you]_113-ellen remember taking some torn papers from [this room]_{1858-this room} the morning [you]_113-ellen went to tell [Miss Hamilton]_{182-miss hamilton} that [Mr. Grahame]_{148-mr. grahame} was waiting ? " [she]_0-i asked . "_[1495-madam] Yes , [madam]_1495-madam . " "_[1495-madam] And were [they]_1865-they all torn up in small pieces ? " "_[1495-madam] No , [madam]_1495-madam ; there was one like the page out of a book , which made [me]_0-i ask [Miss Hamilton]_{182-miss hamilton} if they were all to be destroyed . It was such a nice clean piece , only being written on one side , that [I]_0-i wrapped up some lace in it — [Mrs. Ellis]_135-ellis having only half an hour before scolded [me]_0-i for not keeping it more carefully . " "_[135-ellis] Bring [me]_0-i the leaf , [[my]_0-i good girl]_{1867-my good girl} , and [Miss Ellen]_113-ellen will give [you]_{1867-my good girl} a still better piece for the purpose , " replied [[her]_0-i mistress]_{733-her mistress} , quite unable to suppress a smile , and [Ellen]_113-ellen hastily took out a large sheet of writing paper , and the moment [Fanny]_170-fanny returned ( [she]_170-fanny seemed gone an age ) gave it to [her]_113-ellen , and seized [her]_170-fanny own , which [she]_170-fanny placed in [[her]_170-fanny aunt]_{367-her aunt} 's hand , without being able to speak a single word . "_[113-ellen] [I]_0-i think that is the very theme , and certainly [Ellen]_113-ellen 's writing , [[my]_0-i dear]_{3485-my dear} [Lucy]_111-lucy ; [we]_1869-we can have no more doubt now , " said [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , the moment [Fanny]_170-fanny had left [the room]_{356-the room} , delighted with the exchange , and drawing [Ellen]_113-ellen close to [her]_170-fanny , for [the poor child]_{399-the poor child} could really scarcely stand . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i have done [you]_113-ellen injustice , [Ellen]_113-ellen , and [I]_0-i beg [your]_113-ellen pardon , " replied [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} directly , and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} would have been better pleased had [she]_0-i stopped there , but [she]_0-i could not help adding , "_[0-i] [You]_113-ellen know [I]_0-i should never have doubted [you]_113-ellen , if [you]_113-ellen had not so often forfeited truth . " [Ellen]_113-ellen 's first impulse had been to go to [her]_170-fanny , but [her]_113-ellen last words caused [her]_113-ellen to bury [her]_113-ellen face on [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} 's shoulder . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i really think , [Ellen]_113-ellen , [you]_113-ellen ought to thank [Ellis]_135-ellis for giving [Fanny]_170-fanny a scolding , as it has done [you]_113-ellen such excellent service , " resumed [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , playfully ; "_[113-ellen] and what fee are [you]_113-ellen going to give [me]_0-i for taking upon [myself]_0-i to prove [your]_113-ellen innocence in open court ? [I]_0-i think [myself]_0-i so very clever , that [I]_0-i shall tell [Percy]_99-percy [I]_0-i am [a better lawyer]_{1870-a better lawyer} without study , than [he]_99-percy can hope to be with . [You]_113-ellen do n't seem very capable of doing any thing but kissing [me]_0-i now , and so [I]_0-i will not be very exacting . [You]_113-ellen have cried [yourself]_113-ellen almost ill , and so must bear the penalty . Go and lie down in [[my]_0-i dressing - room]_{1764-my dressing - room} for an hour or two ; [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , go with [[your]_113-ellen cousin]_{929-your cousin} , and see what [a kind , affectionate nurse]_{1873-a kind , affectionate nurse} [you]_113-ellen can be till [I]_0-i come . It is never too early to practice [[such a complete woman]_{1874-such a complete woman} 's office]_{1875-such a complete woman 's office} . " [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , quite proud of the charge , and more grieved than [she]_78-emmeline very well knew how to express , till [she]_78-emmeline was quite alone with [Ellen]_113-ellen , that [she]_78-emmeline , too , had suspected and been cold to [her]_78-emmeline the last week , left [the room]_{356-the room} with [[her]_78-emmeline cousin]_{4159-her cousin} . [Caroline]_120-caroline seemed to hesitate for a moment , but [she]_120-caroline was quite certain by [[her]_120-caroline mother]_{345-her mother} 's face that [she]_120-caroline wished to speak with [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} , and so , without being told , took up [her]_120-caroline book , and went into [the library]_{3958-the library} . "_{[1874-such a complete woman]} And now , [Lucy]_111-lucy , [I]_0-i am going to ask [you]_111-lucy a personal favor , " began [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , the moment [they]_5327-they were alone . "_[0-i] That [I]_0-i will try and not judge [Ellen]_113-ellen so harshly again , " was [her]_0-i instant reply ; "_[111-lucy] [you]_111-lucy have every right to desire it , [[my]_0-i dear friend]_{1876-my dear friend} , not to ask it as a favor ; [I]_0-i was too prejudiced and too hasty ; but [[your]_111-lucy own dear children]_{1877-your own dear children} are so truthful , so open , that [I]_0-i fear [they]_{1877-your own dear children} have quite spoiled [me]_0-i for the necessary patience and forbearance with [others]_756-others . " "_{[1877-your own dear children]} [You]_111-lucy have not quite guessed it , [Lucy]_111-lucy . Appearances were so very strongly against [that poor child]_{1879-that poor child} , that [I]_0-i am not at all astonished [you]_111-lucy should have disbelieved [her]_{1879-that poor child} assertion . In the moment of irritation , it is not unlikely [I]_0-i should have done so [myself]_0-i ; but the favor [I]_0-i am going to ask [you]_111-lucy , is merely that [you]_111-lucy will try and never show that [you]_111-lucy doubt [her]_{1879-that poor child} word , or refer to [her]_{1879-that poor child} past failures . [I]_0-i am quite convinced that untruth is not [Ellen]_113-ellen 's natural disposition , but that it has been caused by the same circumstances which have made [her]_{1879-that poor child} such a painfully timid , too humble character . If , with all [her]_{1879-that poor child} efforts to conquer [herself]_{1879-that poor child} , [she]_{1879-that poor child} still finds [her]_{1879-that poor child} word doubted , and the past brought forward , [she]_{1879-that poor child} never will be able to succeed . Examine as strictly and carefully as [you]_111-lucy please , and as [I]_0-i am sure [she]_{1879-that poor child} will desire , if necessary — as [she]_{1879-that poor child} did to - day — but oblige [me]_0-i , and never doubt [her]_{1879-that poor child} . If [she]_{1879-that poor child} finds [we]_1880-we never do , it will raise [her]_{1879-that poor child} self - esteem , and give [her]_{1879-that poor child} a still further incentive to adhere as strictly to the truth , as [she]_{1879-that poor child} sees [we]_1880-we believe [she]_{1879-that poor child} does . [I]_0-i am certain the habit of falsehood has often been strengthened by the injudicious and cruel references to [one or two childish failures]_{1881-one or two childish failures} . If [I]_0-i am never to be believed , what is the use of trying to tell the truth ? is the very natural question ; and the present pain of carefulness being greater than the visible amount of evil , the habit is confirmed . Will [you]_111-lucy oblige [me]_0-i ? " "_[111-lucy] Of course [I]_0-i will , [dearest Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} ; how can [you]_111-lucy talk so ! Have [you]_111-lucy not a right to desire what [you]_111-lucy think proper , in [my]_0-i guidance of [[your]_111-lucy children]_{3504-your children} , instead of so appealing to [me]_0-i as [an equal]_{1883-an equal} ? " "_[111-lucy] And are [you]_111-lucy not ? [[My]_0-i dear]_{3485-my dear} [Lucy]_111-lucy , have [I]_0-i ever , in act or word , considered [you]_111-lucy otherwise ? In the very intrusting [[my]_0-i children]_{3511-my children} to [your]_111-lucy care , do [I]_0-i not prove that [I]_0-i must think [you]_111-lucy so ? Have [you]_111-lucy lived with [me]_0-i all these years , and not yet discovered that [I]_0-i have some few notions peculiar perhaps to [myself]_0-i , but that one among them is , that [we]_1886-we can never consider too much , or be too grateful to [those invaluable friends who help [us]_1886-we in the training of [[our]_1886-we children]_{1888-our children}]_{1887-those invaluable friends who help us in the training of our children} ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i have lived long enough with [you]_111-lucy to know that there never was , never can be , [any woman like [you]_111-lucy]_{1889-any woman like you} , either as [wife]_1890-wife , [mother]_3430-mother , [mistress]_597-mistress , or [friend]_743-friend ! " exclaimed [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} , with most unusual fervor . "_[111-lucy] [You]_111-lucy did not know [[your]_111-lucy own mother]_{1894-your own mother} , dearest [Lucy]_111-lucy , as how [I]_0-i wish [you]_111-lucy had , or [you]_111-lucy would not think so . Every firm , truthful , estimable quality [I]_0-i may possess , under [God]_85-god 's blessing , [I]_0-i owe to [her]_{1894-your own mother} . As [a young child]_{387-a young child} , before [she]_{1894-your own mother} came to [me]_0-i , and some years afterward , [I]_0-i was more like [Ellen]_113-ellen than either of [[my]_0-i own darlings]_{3506-my own darlings} ; and that perhaps explains the secret of [my]_0-i love for , and forbearance with [her]_{1894-your own mother} . " "_[113-ellen] Like [Ellen]_113-ellen ! " repeated [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} , much surprised ; "_[113-ellen] forgive [me]_0-i , but , indeed , [I]_0-i can scarcely believe it . " "_[113-ellen] It is truth , notwithstanding ; [[my]_0-i poor father]_{1897-my poor father} 's great preference for [Eleanor]_{127-lady helen} , when [we]_1898-we were [children]_{3553-children} , [her]_{1894-your own mother} very superior beauty and quickness , threw [me]_0-i back into [myself]_0-i ; and [I]_0-i am quite certain if it had not been for [[your]_1900-you excellent mother , who came to live with [us]_1898-we when [I]_0-i was only seven]_{1901-your excellent mother , who came to live with us when i was only seven} , [my]_0-i character would have suffered as much from neglect on the one side , and too painful humility on [my]_0-i own , as [Ellen]_113-ellen 's has done . [I]_0-i can understand [her]_113-ellen feelings of loneliness , misappreciation , shrinking into [herself]_113-ellen , better even than [she]_113-ellen does [herself]_113-ellen . " "_[0-i] But [your]_0-i affection and kindness ought to have altered [her]_113-ellen character by this time . " "_[0-i] Hardly — eighteen months is not long enough to remove the painful impressions and influences of eleven sorrowful years . Besides , [I]_0-i scarcely know all these influences ; [I]_0-i fear sometimes that [she]_113-ellen has endured more than [I]_0-i am aware of . So [you]_1900-you must think charitably of [my]_0-i fancy , dearest [Lucy]_111-lucy , " [she]_0-i added , smiling , "_[1900-you] and help [me]_0-i to make [Ellen]_113-ellen as much like [me]_0-i as [a woman]_{769-a woman} , as [I]_0-i believe [she]_113-ellen is to [me]_0-i as [a child]_{265-a child} ; and to do so , try and think a little , a very little , more kindly and hopefully of [her]_113-ellen than [you]_1900-you do . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i really do wish [you]_1900-you were not quite so penetrating , [dearest Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} ; there is no hiding a single feeling or fancy from [you]_1900-you , " answered [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} , slightly confused , but laughing at the same time . "_{[81-mrs. hamilton]} What with [your]_1900-you memory , and [your]_1900-you quick observation , and [your]_1900-you determined notice of little things , [you]_1900-you really are [a most dangerous person to live with]_{1904-a most dangerous person to live with} ; and if [you]_1900-you were not more kind , and indulgent , and true than any body else , [we]_1905-we should all be frightened to come near [you]_1900-you . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i am glad [I]_0-i have some saving qualities , " replied [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , laughing also ; "_[0-i] it would be rather hard to be isolated because [I]_0-i can read [other people]_{1085-other people} 's thoughts . However , [we]_1905-we have entered into a compact , " [she]_0-i continued , rather more seriously ; "_[1900-you] [you]_1900-you will never show that [you]_1900-you doubt [Ellen]_113-ellen , and in any difficult matter , come at once to [me]_0-i , " and [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} willingly assented . The day passed much more happily than the morning could have anticipated . [Emmeline]_78-emmeline 's nursing was so affectionate and successful , that [Ellen]_113-ellen was quite able to join [them]_1905-we at dinner , and [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} had selected such a very interesting story to read aloud , in which [one character]_{5329-one character} was [a young sailor]_{5330-a young sailor} , that the hours seemed to fly ; and then [they]_1905-we had a long talk about poor [Alice Seaton]_195-alice and [[her]_113-ellen brother]_{384-her brother} , whether it would be possible for [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} to place [young Seaton]_195-alice in a situation that [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} liked better , and that [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} health was more fitted for . [Ellen]_113-ellen said [she]_113-ellen should like to see and know [Alice]_195-alice so much , for [her]_113-ellen trial must be such a very hard one , that [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} promised [her]_113-ellen [she]_113-ellen should in the midsummer holidays , for [Alice]_195-alice should then come and spend a week with [them]_1905-we . It seemed as if not to be able to wish [Edward]_194-edward good - night , and kiss [him]_194-edward , brought back some of the pain again ; but [she]_113-ellen found that thinking about poor [Alice]_195-alice , and fancying how miserable [she]_113-ellen must be , if [she]_113-ellen loved [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} as dearly as [she]_113-ellen did [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , to be obliged to part from [her]_{367-her aunt} as well as [[her]_{367-her aunt} brother]_{384-her brother} , and live at [a school]_{1843-a school} , made [her]_113-ellen pain seem less absorbing ; as if to help [Alice]_195-alice would do more toward curing it than any thing . And though , of course , every day , for a little while , [she]_113-ellen seemed to miss [Edward]_194-edward more and more , still [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} 's affection and [her]_113-ellen own efforts , prepared [her]_113-ellen to see [[her]_113-ellen uncle]_{519-her uncle} and [cousins]_4716-cousins return , and listen to all [they]_5339-they could tell [her]_113-ellen about [him]_194-edward , without any increase of pain . [[Our]_5340-our readers]_{524-our readers} must imagine that two years and four months have elapsed since [our]_5340-our last visit to [the inmates of [Oakwood]_12-oakwood]_{5342-the inmates of oakwood} . It was the first week in March that [Edward Fortescue]_166-edward ( only wanting ten days for the completion of [his]_166-edward fourteenth year ) quitted [a home]_{4945-a home} , which was happier than any [he]_166-edward had ever known , to enter [the world]_{592-the world} as [a sailor]_{3421-a sailor} ; and it is the 7th of June , two years later , the day on which [Ellen Fortescue]_113-ellen completes [her]_113-ellen fifteenth year , that [we]_5340-our recommence [our]_5340-our narrative . Over this interval , however , much as [we]_5340-our are anxious to proceed , [we]_5340-our must take a brief glance , clearly to understand the aspect of the [Oakwood]_12-oakwood home affairs , which , from the increasing age of [the younger members]_{5346-the younger members} , had undergone some slight change . The greatest and most keenly felt was the departure of [Percy]_99-percy and [Herbert]_102-herbert for college , the October twelvemonth after [Edward]_166-edward had gone ; [the house]_{3775-the house} seemed actually desolate without [them]_{5346-the younger members} . [Percy]_99-percy 's wild jokes and inexhaustible spirits , and [Herbert]_102-herbert 's quiet , unobtrusive kindness , much as [they]_{5346-the younger members} had always been truly appreciated by [[their]_{5346-the younger members} home circle]_{5348-their home circle} , still scarcely seemed to have been fully felt till [the young men]_{4058-the young men} were gone ; and [the old house]_{3992-the old house} actually seemed enwrapped in a silence , which it required very determined effort on the part of [all who remained in the least degree to dispel]_{5351-all who remained in the least degree to dispel} . [[Our]_5340-our readers who are [mothers]_3512-mothers]_{5352-our readers who are mothers} , and [earnest ones]_{5354-earnest ones} , will easily understand the anxious tremblings of [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's heart , when [she]_3512-mothers parted from [[her]_3512-mothers boys]_{4138-her boys} for [the world]_{592-the world} : for such , to [spirits fresh , boyish , unsophisticated]_{5357-spirits fresh , boyish , unsophisticated} , as [they]_{5357-spirits fresh , boyish , unsophisticated} still were , [Oxford]_36-oxford could not fail to be . For [Herbert]_102-herbert , indeed , [she]_3512-mothers had neither fear nor doubt : no sneer , no temptation , no bad example , would affect [him]_102-herbert , in whom every passing year seemed to increase and deepen those exalted feelings which , in [his]_102-herbert earliest childhood , had "_[1900-you] less in them of [earth than heaven]_{1907-earth than heaven} . " [His]_102-herbert piety was so real , [his]_102-herbert faith so fervent , [his]_102-herbert affections so concentrated in [[his]_102-herbert home]_{4084-his home} and in [one other individual]_{5359-one other individual} , [his]_102-herbert love and pursuit of study so ardent and unceasing , [his]_102-herbert one aim , to become worthy in heart and mind to serve [God]_85-god as [[his]_102-herbert minister]_{5360-his minister} , so ever present , that [he]_102-herbert was effectually guarded even from [the world]_{592-the world} . [Percy]_99-percy had none of these feelings to the same extent , save [his]_99-percy ardent love for [home]_563-home and [its inmates]_{5363-its inmates} — [[his]_99-percy mother]_{330-his mother} , above all . [He]_99-percy did , indeed , give every promise that the principles so carefully instilled had taken firm root , and would guide [his]_99-percy conduct in [the world]_{592-the world} ; but [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} was too humble - minded — too convinced that every human effort is imperfect , without the sustaining and vitalizing grace of [God]_85-god , to rest in security , as [many]_640-many might have done , that because [she]_{330-his mother} had so worked , so prayed , [she]_{330-his mother} must succeed . [She]_{330-his mother} was hopeful , indeed , very hopeful — how could [she]_{330-his mother} be otherwise when [she]_{330-his mother} beheld [his]_99-percy deep , though silent , reverence for sacred things — [his]_99-percy constant and increasing respect and love for [[his]_99-percy father]_{406-his father} — [his]_99-percy devoted affection for [herself]_{330-his mother} — [his]_99-percy attachment to [Herbert]_102-herbert , which seemed so strangely yet so beautifully to combine almost reverence for [his]_99-percy superior mind and holier spirit , with the caressing protectiveness of [an older for a younger]_{5368-an older for a younger} — a stronger for a weaker ? There was much in all this to banish anxiety altogether , but not from such a heart as [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's , whose very multiplicity of blessings made [her]_{330-his mother} often tremble , and led [her]_{330-his mother} to the footstool of [[her]_{330-his mother} God]_{5369-her god} , with a piety as humble , as constant , as fervent , as many believe is the fruit of adversity alone . [Caroline]_120-caroline had sufficiently improved as greatly to decrease solicitude on [her]_120-caroline account : though there was still a want of sufficient humility , a too great proneness to trust implicitly in [her]_120-caroline own strength , an inclination to prejudice , and a love of admiration , which all made [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} fear would expose [her]_120-caroline to some personal sorrow ere [they]_5370-they were entirely overcome . To produce eternal good , [she]_120-caroline might not murmur at temporal suffering ; but [her]_120-caroline fond heart , though it could anticipate it calmly for [herself]_120-caroline , so shrunk from it , as touching [[her]_120-caroline child]_{350-her child} , that the nearer approached the period of [Caroline]_120-caroline 's introduction to [the gay world]_{577-the gay world} , the more painfully anxious [she]_120-caroline became , and the more gladly would [she]_120-caroline have retained [her]_120-caroline in [the retirement of [Oakwood]_12-oakwood]_{5373-the retirement of oakwood} , where all [her]_120-caroline better and higher qualities alone had play . But [she]_120-caroline knew this could not be ; and [she]_120-caroline could only trust that [her]_120-caroline anxiety would be proved as groundless with [Caroline]_120-caroline , as every letter from [Oxford]_36-oxford proved it to be with [Percy]_99-percy , and endeavor to avert it by never wavering in [her]_120-caroline watchful and guiding love . [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , at fifteen , was just [the same sportive , happy , innocent child]_{5374-the same sportive , happy , innocent child} as [she]_78-emmeline had been at twelve . [Her]_78-emmeline feelings were , indeed , still deeper , [her]_78-emmeline imagination more vivid , [her]_78-emmeline religion more fervid . To [her]_78-emmeline every thing was touched with poetry — it mattered not how dull and commonplace it might seem to [other people]_{1085-other people} ; but [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's judicious care had so taught that Truth alone was poetry and beauty — the Ideal only lovable when its basis was the Real — that [she]_78-emmeline was neither romantic nor visionary . Keen as [her]_78-emmeline sensibilities were , even over a work of fiction , they prompted the deed and act of kindness , not the tear alone . For miles round [[[her]_78-emmeline father]_{435-her father} 's large domain]_{5377-her father 's large domain} [she]_78-emmeline was known , loved , so felt as [a guardian spirit]_{5378-a guardian spirit} , that the very sound of [her]_78-emmeline step seemed to promise joy . [She]_78-emmeline actually seemed to live for [others]_756-others — making [their]_756-others pleasures hers ; and , withal , so joyous , especially in [[her]_78-emmeline own home]_{5380-her own home} and at [Greville Manor]_{30-greville manor} , that even anxiety seemed exorcised when [she]_78-emmeline was near . Before [strangers]_{3543-strangers} , indeed , [she]_78-emmeline would be as shy as [a young fawn]_{5382-a young fawn} ; though even then natural kindliness of heart prompted such kindness of word and manner , as always to excite the wish to see [her]_78-emmeline again . [Edward]_166-edward , in the two years and a quarter which [he]_166-edward had been away , had only once occasioned anxiety . Two or three months after [he]_166-edward had sailed , [he]_166-edward wrote [home]_563-home in the highest terms of a certain [Gilbert Harding]_197-harding , [one of the senior midshipmen of [[his]_166-edward ship]_{5385-his ship} , from whom [he]_166-edward had received kindness upon kindness ; and who , being six or seven years older than [himself]_166-edward , [he]_166-edward jestingly wrote to [[his]_166-edward aunt and uncle]_{5386-his aunt and uncle}]_{5384-one of the senior midshipmen of his ship , from whom he had received kindness upon kindness ; and who , being six or seven years older than himself , he jestingly wrote to his aunt and uncle} , must certainly be [the very best friend [he]_166-edward could have chosen]_{5387-the very best friend he could have chosen} , as [he]_197-harding was much too old to lead [him]_166-edward into mischief . Why [he]_197-harding ( [Harding]_197-harding ) had taken such a fancy to [him]_166-edward , [Edward]_166-edward could not tell ; but [he]_197-harding was so excessively kind , so taught [him]_166-edward [his]_197-harding duty , and smoothed all the difficulties and disagreeables which , [he]_197-harding owned , had at first seemed overwhelming , that [he]_197-harding never could be grateful enough . [He]_166-edward added , that , though not a general favorite with [[his]_197-harding immediate messmates]_{5388-his immediate messmates} , [he]_197-harding was very highly esteemed by [Sir Edward Manly]_76-edward and [[his]_197-harding other superior officers]_{5389-his other superior officers} , and that [the former]_{313-the former} had much commended [him]_197-harding for [his]_197-harding kindness to [the youngest boy on board]_{5391-the youngest boy on board} , which [Edward]_76-edward was . It was very easy to perceive that [young Fortescue]_166-edward 's susceptible affections had all been not only attracted , but already riveted by [this new friend]_{5392-this new friend} . [All the young party]_{5393-all the young party} at [Oakwood]_12-oakwood rejoiced at it ; [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} would have done so also , had [she]_5394-her not perceived an anxious expression on [[her]_5394-her husband]_{340-her husband} 's face , which alarmed [her]_5394-her . [He]_{340-her husband} did not , however , make any remark till [he]_{340-her husband} had spoken to [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} , and then imparted to [[his]_{340-her husband} wife]_{521-his wife} alone ( not choosing to create suspicion in the open hearts of [[his]_{340-her husband} children]_{4082-his children} ) that this [Gilbert Harding]_197-harding , though very young at the time had been one of the principal actors in the affair which had caused [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} to dismiss [[his]_{128-mr. howard} pupils]_{4055-his pupils} , as [we]_5399-we related in [a former page]_{5400-a former page} ; that [his]_{340-her husband} very youth , for [he]_{340-her husband} could scarcely have been more than eleven or twelve , and determined hardihood , so marked natural depravity , that [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} had had less hope for [him]_{340-her husband} than for any of the others . This opinion had been borne out by [his]_{340-her husband} after conduct at [home]_563-home ; but the affair had been successfully hushed up by [[his]_{340-her husband} family]_{4086-his family} ; and by immense interest [he]_{340-her husband} been permitted to enter the navy , where , it was said , [his]_{340-her husband} youthful errors had been so redeemed , and [his]_{340-her husband} courage and conduct altogether had so won [him]_{340-her husband} applause , that no farther fears were entertained for [him]_{340-her husband} . [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} alone retained [his]_{128-mr. howard} opinion , that the disposition was naturally bad , and doubted the internal response to the seeming outward good ; and [he]_{128-mr. howard} was grieved and anxious beyond measure , when [he]_{128-mr. howard} heard that [he]_{128-mr. howard} was not only on board [the same ship]_{5403-the same ship} as [Edward]_76-edward , but already [[his]_{128-mr. howard} favorite companion and [most trusted friend]_{5405-most trusted friend}]_{5404-his favorite companion and most trusted friend} . [His]_{128-mr. howard} anxiety , of course , extended itself to [Mr.]_5406-mr. and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} to such a degree , that at the first moment [they]_5407-they would gladly have endeavored to exchange [[his]_{128-mr. howard} ship]_{5385-his ship} ; but this would have seemed very strange to [Sir Edward Manly]_76-edward , who was [one of [[Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's most valued friends]_{5410-mr. hamilton 's most valued friends}]_{5409-one of mr. hamilton 's most valued friends} . [He]_{128-mr. howard} had , in fact , actually delayed [Edward]_76-edward 's becoming [a midshipman]_{4692-a midshipman} till [Sir Edward]_76-edward could take [him]_76-edward in [[his]_76-edward own ship]_{5412-his own ship} and now to place [him]_76-edward elsewhere was really impossible ; and , after all , though [he]_76-edward might be removed from [Harding]_197-harding 's influence , how could [[his]_76-edward anxious guardians]_{5413-his anxious guardians} know all with whom [he]_76-edward might be thrown ? [They]_5407-they were obliged to content [themselves]_5407-they with writing earnestly and affectionately to [Edward]_76-edward ; and , painful as it was , to throw a doubt and shade over such youthful confidence and affection , implored [him]_76-edward not to trust too implicitly in [Harding]_197-harding ; that [his]_76-edward character had not always been free from stain ; that [he]_76-edward ( [Edward]_76-edward ) was still so young and so susceptible , [he]_76-edward might find that [he]_76-edward had imbibed principles , and been tempted to wrong almost unconsciously , and suffer from its effects when too late to escape . [They]_5407-they wrote as affectionately and indulgently as [they]_5407-they could — [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} , as well as [[his]_76-edward aunt]_{365-his aunt} and [uncle]_3425-uncle ; but still [they]_5407-they felt that it certainly did appear cruel to warn [a young , warm heart]_{5416-a young , warm heart} to break off the first friendship it had formed ; especially as [he]_76-edward beheld [that friend]_{5417-that friend} approved of by [[his]_76-edward captain]_{5418-his captain} , and looked up to by [the crew]_{5419-the crew} . And that [Edward]_76-edward 's reply was somewhat cold , though [he]_76-edward did promise caution , and assure [them]_5407-they [he]_76-edward had not so forgotten the influences and principles of [Oakwood]_12-oakwood as to allow [any one]_{393-any one} to lead [him]_76-edward into error , did not surprise [them]_5407-they . [He]_76-edward never referred to [Harding]_197-harding again , except sometimes casually to mention [his]_197-harding companionship , or some act which had won [him]_197-harding approval ; and [they]_5407-they really hoped [their]_5407-they letters had had at least the effect of putting [him]_197-harding on [his]_197-harding guard . [Sir Edward Manly]_76-edward 's own reply to [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's anxious appeal to [him]_76-edward , however , succeeded in quieting [their]_5407-they fears ; [he]_76-edward assured [them]_5407-they [he]_76-edward had seen nothing in [Harding]_197-harding 's conduct , since [he]_197-harding had been at [sea]_579-sea , to render [him]_197-harding [an unfit companion for [any boy]_{5423-any boy}]_{5422-an unfit companion for any boy} : that [he]_76-edward had heard of some boyish faults , but it was rather hard [he]_76-edward was to suffer from [them]_5407-they as [a man]_{5424-a man} ; and [he]_76-edward assured [[his]_76-edward friends]_{644-his friends} that [he]_76-edward would keep a strict look - out after [young Fortescue]_166-edward , and the first appearance of a change in a character which , young as [he]_76-edward was , [he]_76-edward could not help loving , should be inquired into , and the friendship ended by sending [Harding]_197-harding to [some other ship]_{5426-some other ship} . So wrote [Sir Edward Manly]_76-edward , with the fullest possible intention to perform ; and [[Edward]_76-edward 's anxious friends]_{5427-edward 's anxious friends} were happy , more especially as letter after letter brought praises of [the young sailor]_{5428-the young sailor} from [captain]_851-captain , [officers]_{5430-officers} , and [crew]_3838-crew , and [his]_76-edward own epistles , though brief , were affectionate and satisfactory . It was happy for [Mr.]_5432-mr. and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , and [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} , too , that [they]_{5427-edward 's anxious friends} were ignorant of the multiplicity of great and little things which could not fail to engross the mind of [Sir Edward Manly]_76-edward , who was not only captain of the Prince William , [a gallant seventy - four]_{5433-a gallant seventy - four} , but commander of [the little flotilla which accompanied [him]_76-edward]_{5434-the little flotilla which accompanied him} , or [they]_{5427-edward 's anxious friends} could not have rested so secure . Happy for [them]_{5427-edward 's anxious friends} too , during those years of separation , that [they]_{5427-edward 's anxious friends} were not perfectly acquainted with [Edward]_76-edward 's real weakness of character , or of the fearful extent of mischief which the influences of [his]_76-edward first twelve years had engendered . Had [he]_76-edward remained at [Oakwood]_12-oakwood till nineteen or twenty , it is probable [they]_{5427-edward 's anxious friends} would have been insensibly conquered , and the impressions of good , which [he]_76-edward had appeared so readily to receive , really taken root and guided [his]_76-edward after life , but eighteen months could not do this , as [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} would have felt , had [she]_5435-her known all the effect of [[her]_5435-her sister]_{325-her sister} 's ill - judged partiality and indulgence ; but this , as [we]_5437-we have already mentioned , was concealed from [her]_5435-her by the bright , lovable , winning qualities , which alone were uppermost . [[Our]_5437-we readers]_{524-our readers} , in fact , know more of [Edward]_76-edward ( if [they]_{524-our readers} have at all thought of [his]_76-edward conduct in so frequently allowing [[his]_76-edward sister]_{561-his sister} to suffer for [him]_76-edward ) than [[his]_76-edward aunt]_{365-his aunt} , penetrative as [she]_{365-his aunt} was ; and , therefore , in the events [we]_5437-we shall have occasion to relate , [we]_5437-we trust that [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} will not appear an inconsistent character , inasmuch that [one in general so successfully observant]_{5441-one in general so successfully observant} , should fail in penetration when most needed . [Edward]_76-edward 's life at [Oakwood]_12-oakwood had been so very happy , its pleasures and indulgences so innocent , so numerous , that [he]_76-edward did not [himself]_76-edward know [his]_76-edward liability to temptation , from the excessive love of pleasure which [[his]_76-edward mother]_{330-his mother} 's indiscreet indulgence had originally infused . The control which [[his]_76-edward uncle]_{443-his uncle} and [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} exercised over [him]_76-edward had been so very gentle and forbearing , that [he]_76-edward had scarcely ever felt the inclination to exert self - will , and when it so chanced that [he]_76-edward had , [Ellen]_113-ellen had covered [his]_76-edward fault , or borne its penalty for [him]_76-edward . [He]_76-edward thought [he]_76-edward had guided [himself]_76-edward , when , in fact , [he]_76-edward was guided ; but this could no longer be the case when one of [the little world]_{5444-the little world} which thronged [a first - rate man - of - war]_{5445-a first - rate man - of - war} . Outward actions were , indeed , under control ; but what [captain]_851-captain , [the most earnest , most able in [the world]_{592-the world}]_{5447-the most earnest , most able in the world} , could look into and guide the hearts of [all those committed to [his]_76-edward care]_{5449-all those committed to his care} ? And almost the first action of [Edward]_76-edward 's unbiased will was indignantly to tear into shreds , and scatter to the winds and the waves , those affectionate and warning letters , and cling the more closely to , rest the more confidingly on [Harding]_197-harding , for the wrong that [he]_76-edward thought [he]_76-edward had done [him]_76-edward , by allowing [his]_76-edward eye even to rest for a moment on such base , unfounded aspersions on [his]_76-edward name . When [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} told [Ellen]_113-ellen that [her]_113-ellen letters to [[her]_113-ellen brother]_{384-her brother} , and [his]_{384-her brother} to [her]_113-ellen , should never be subjected to any scrutiny but [their]_5451-their own , [she]_113-ellen acted on a principle which [many parents]_{5452-many parents} and [guardians]_{1513-guardians} would consider as high - flown and romantic , and which [she]_113-ellen [herself]_113-ellen had most painful reason to regret — the effects , at least , but not the principle itself , for that was based on too refined a feeling to waver , even though [she]_113-ellen suffered from it . [She]_113-ellen could not bear , nor could [[her]_113-ellen husband]_{340-her husband} , the system which prevailed in [some families of [their]_5451-their acquaintance]_{5455-some families of their acquaintance} , that [[their]_5451-their children]_{3513-their children} could neither receive nor write letters to [each other]_{938-each other} , or [[their]_5451-their intimate friends]_{5458-their intimate friends} , without being shown to [[their]_5451-their seniors]_{5459-their seniors} . As for opening and reading a letter directed to one of [them]_5451-their , before [its possessor]_{5460-its possessor} saw it , as [they]_5451-their had seen done , it was , in [their]_5451-their estimation , as much dishonor and as mean , as if such a thing had been done to [an adult]_{5461-an adult} . Perfect confidence in [[their]_5451-their home]_{4033-their home} [they]_5451-their had indeed instilled , and that confidence was never withheld . There was a degree of suspicion attached to a demand always to see what [a child]_{265-a child} had written or received , from which [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's pure mind actually shrunk in loathing . In the many months [the Grahame family]_{5049-the grahame family} passed in [London]_13-london , [Annie]_129-annie and [Caroline]_120-caroline corresponded without the least restraint : no doubt [many]_640-many would pronounce [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} very unwise , knowing [Annie]_129-annie so well , and trembling for [Caroline]_120-caroline as [she]_120-caroline did ; but , as [she]_120-caroline told [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} , [she]_120-caroline had some notions peculiar to [herself]_120-caroline ( [they]_5466-they always had the sanction and sympathy of [[her]_120-caroline husband]_{340-her husband} , however ) , and this was one of [them]_5466-they . [She]_120-caroline was always pleased and interested in all that [[her]_120-caroline children]_{322-her children} read to [her]_120-caroline , either from [their]_{322-her children} own epistles or those [they]_{322-her children} received , and if [they]_{322-her children} wished it , read [them]_{322-her children} [herself]_120-caroline , but [she]_120-caroline never asked to do so , and the consequence was , that the most perfect confidence was given . When [Ellen]_113-ellen and [Edward]_76-edward parted , [they]_{322-her children} were both so young , that [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had hesitated as to whether [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} wife]_{521-his wife} was quite justified in the perfect trust with which [she]_120-caroline treated [them]_{322-her children} , and whether it would not be wiser to overlook [their]_{322-her children} correspondence ; but [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} so argued that [their]_{322-her children} very youth was [their]_{322-her children} safeguard , that [they]_{322-her children} were all in all to [each other]_{938-each other} , and as such [she]_120-caroline wished [them]_{322-her children} to feel [they]_{322-her children} were bound by even a closer and a fonder tie than that of [brother]_391-brother and [sister]_486-sister under other circumstances , so won over [[her]_120-caroline husband]_{340-her husband} that [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} yielded ; and from the long extracts that [Ellen]_113-ellen would read of [Edward]_76-edward 's letters to [the family]_{3915-the family} in general , and of [her]_113-ellen own to [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} , [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} was quite satisfied as to the wisdom of [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} wife]_{521-his wife} 's judgment . For full a year after [Edward]_76-edward 's departure , [Ellen]_113-ellen 's conduct and general improvement had given [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} nothing but pleasure ; even [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} 's and [Caroline]_120-caroline 's prejudice was nearly removed , though , at times , the fancy would steal over both that [she]_113-ellen was not exactly what [she]_113-ellen seemed , and that that which was hidden was not exactly that which [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} believed it ; and this fancy strengthened by a certain indefinable yet felt change in [Ellen]_113-ellen , commencing about thirteen months after [she]_113-ellen had parted from [[her]_113-ellen brother]_{384-her brother} . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} [herself]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , for some time strove against belief , but at length [she]_113-ellen could no longer conceal from [herself]_113-ellen that [Ellen]_113-ellen was becoming reserved again , and fearful , at times almost shrinking , and sad , as in [her]_113-ellen childhood . The openness , and almost light - heartedness , which for one brief year had so characterized [her]_113-ellen , seemed completely but so insensibly to have gone , that [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} could not satisfy [herself]_{81-mrs. hamilton} as to the time of the commencement , or reason of the change . [Her]_113-ellen temper , too , became fitful , and altogether [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} 's anxiety and bewilderment as to [her]_113-ellen real character returned in full force . Once , when gently questioned as to why [her]_113-ellen temper was so altered , [Ellen]_113-ellen confessed with tears , that [she]_113-ellen knew it was , but [she]_113-ellen could not help it , [she]_113-ellen believed [she]_113-ellen was not well ; and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} called in [Mr. Maitland]_{154-mr. maitland} , who said that [she]_113-ellen really was in a highly nervous state , and required care and quietness , and the less notice that was taken of [her]_113-ellen momentary irritability or depression the better . Little did [the worthy man]_{5480-the worthy man} imagine how [[his]_{5480-the worthy man} young patient]_{5481-his young patient} blessed [him]_{5480-the worthy man} for these words ; giving a reason for and so allowing the trepidation which paled [her]_113-ellen cheek , parched [her]_113-ellen lips , and made [her]_113-ellen hand so tremble , when [she]_113-ellen received a letter from [[her]_113-ellen brother]_{384-her brother} , to pass unnoticed . But change in manner was not all ; almost every second or third month [Ellen]_113-ellen 's allowance of pocket - money ( which was unusually liberal , as [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} wished to accustom [[her]_113-ellen girls]_{4027-her girls} , from an early age , to purchase some few articles of dress for [themselves]_{4027-her girls} , and so learn the value of money ) most strangely and mysteriously disappeared . [Ellen]_113-ellen either could not or would not give any account of it ; and , of course , it not only exposed [her]_113-ellen to [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} 's most serious displeasure , but inexpressibly heightened not only [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's bewilderment and anxiety , but [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} 's and [Caroline]_120-caroline 's unspoken prejudice . From the time of [Edward]_76-edward 's departure , [Ellen]_113-ellen had never been discovered in or suspected of either uttering or acting an untruth ; but [her]_113-ellen silence , [her]_113-ellen apparent determined ignorance of , or resolution not to confess the cause of the incomprehensible disappearance of [her]_113-ellen allowance , naturally compelled [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} to revert to the propensity of [her]_113-ellen childhood , and fear that truthfulness was again deserting [her]_113-ellen . [Her]_113-ellen displeasure lasting of course , the longer from [Ellen]_113-ellen 's want of openness , and the air of what almost appeared to [[her]_113-ellen anxious yet still affectionate aunt]_{5485-her anxious yet still affectionate aunt} like sullen defiance ( in reality , it was almost despair ) , when spoken to , caused a painful degree of estrangement between [them]_5486-them , always , however , giving place to [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's usual caressing manner , the moment [Ellen]_113-ellen seemed really repentant , and [her]_113-ellen month 's expenditure could be properly explained . For six or eight months before the day on which [we]_5487-we recommence [our]_5487-we narrative , there had been , however , nothing to complain of in [Ellen]_113-ellen , except still that unnatural reserve and frequent depression , as if dreading something [she]_113-ellen knew not what , which , as every other part of [her]_113-ellen conduct was satisfactory , [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} tried to comfort [herself]_113-ellen was physical alone . No reference to the past was ever made : [her]_113-ellen manner to [[her]_113-ellen niece]_{372-her niece} became the same as usual ; but [she]_113-ellen could not feel secure as to [her]_113-ellen character , and , what was most painful , there were times when [she]_113-ellen was compelled to doubt even [Ellen]_113-ellen 's affection for [herself]_113-ellen , a thing [she]_113-ellen had never had the slightest cause to do even when [she]_113-ellen was [a little inanimate child]_{5489-a little inanimate child} . But very few changes had taken place in [the Greville]_143-mary and [Grahame]_129-annie families . [Mrs. Greville]_{140-mrs. greville} 's trial continued in unmitigated , if not heightened bitterness : the example , the companionship of [[his]_{372-her niece} father]_{406-his father} had appeared to have blighted every good seed which [she]_113-ellen had strenuously endeavored to plant in the bosom of [[her]_113-ellen son]_{326-her son} . At sixteen [he]_{372-her niece} was already [an accomplished man of [the world]_{592-the world}]_{5492-an accomplished man of the world} , in its most painful sense : [he]_{372-her niece} had [[his]_{372-her niece} own companions]_{5494-his own companions} , [[his]_{372-her niece} own haunts]_{5495-his own haunts} ; scarcely ever visiting [[his]_{372-her niece} home]_{4084-his home} , for a reason which , could [[his]_{372-her niece} poor mother]_{5497-his poor mother} have known it , would have given [her]_{5497-his poor mother} some slight gleam of comfort . [He]_{372-her niece} could not associate either with [her]_113-ellen or [[his]_{372-her niece} sister]_{561-his sister} , without feeling a sort of loathing of [himself]_{372-her niece} , a longing to be to [them]_5499-them as [Percy]_99-percy and [Herbert Hamilton]_102-herbert were at [Oakwood]_12-oakwood ; and not having the moral courage sufficient to break from the control of [[his]_{372-her niece} father]_{406-his father} , and the exciting pleasures in which that control initiated [him]_{372-her niece} , [he]_{372-her niece} shrunk more and more from the only spot in which better feelings were so awakened within [him]_{372-her niece} as to give [him]_{372-her niece} pain . To deaden this unacknowledged remorse , [his]_{372-her niece} manner was rude and unfeeling , so that [his]_{372-her niece} very visits , though inexpressibly longed for by [[his]_{372-her niece} mother]_{330-his mother} , brought only increase of grief . [Mrs. Greville]_{140-mrs. greville} seemed [herself]_{140-mrs. greville} so inured to suffering , that [she]_{140-mrs. greville} bore up against it without any visible failing of health ; struggling against its enervating effects , more , perhaps , than [she]_{140-mrs. greville} was aware of [herself]_{140-mrs. greville} , for the sake of one treasure still granted [her]_{140-mrs. greville} — [her]_{140-mrs. greville} own almost angel Mary — who , [she]_{140-mrs. greville} knew , without [her]_{140-mrs. greville} love and constant cheerfulness , must sink beneath such a constant aggravated trial . Yet that very love brought increase of anxiety from more than one cause . As yet there was no change in [their]_5502-them manner of living , but [Mrs. Greville]_{140-mrs. greville} knew that , from the excesses of [[her]_{140-mrs. greville} husband]_{340-her husband} and [son]_5504-son , there very soon must be . Ruin , poverty , all its fearful ills , stood before [her]_{140-mrs. greville} in perspective , and how could [Mary]_143-mary 's fragile frame and gentle spirit bear up against [them]_5502-them ? Again and again the question pressed upon [her]_{140-mrs. greville} — Did [Herbert Hamilton]_102-herbert indeed love [[her]_{140-mrs. greville} child]_{350-her child} , as every passing year seemed to confirm ? and if [he]_102-herbert did , would — could [[his]_102-herbert parents]_{3895-his parents} consent to [his]_102-herbert union with [the child of such a father]_{5507-the child of such a father} , [the sister of such a brother]_{5508-the sister of such a brother} ? There were always long messages to [Mary]_143-mary in [Herbert]_102-herbert 's letters to [[his]_102-herbert mother]_{330-his mother} , which [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} not only delivered [herself]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , but sometimes even put the whole letter into [Mary]_143-mary 's hand , and at last laughingly said , [she]_{140-mrs. greville} really thought [they]_5502-them had much better write to [each other]_{938-each other} , as then [she]_{140-mrs. greville} should chance to get a letter all to [herself]_{140-mrs. greville} , not merely be the medium of a communication between [them]_5502-them ; and [Mary]_143-mary , though [she]_143-mary did slightly blush , which [she]_143-mary was in the habit of doing for scarcely any thing , seemed to think it so perfectly natural , that [she]_143-mary merely said , if [Herbert]_102-herbert had time to write to [her]_143-mary , [she]_143-mary should like it very much , and would certainly answer [him]_102-herbert . "_[0-i] [[My]_0-i dear]_{3485-my dear} [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , what are [you]_78-emmeline about ? " was [Mrs. Greville]_{140-mrs. greville} 's anxious appeal , the moment [they]_{1909-two young folks} were alone . "_{[78-emmeline]} Giving pleasure to [two young folks]_{1909-two young folks} , of whom [I]_0-i am most excessively fond , " was [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's laughing reply . "_[0-i] Do n't look so terrified , [[my]_0-i dear]_{3485-my dear} [Jessie]_141-jessie . [They]_{1909-two young folks} love [each other]_{938-each other} as [boy]_1912-boy and [girl]_1913-girl now , and if the love should deepen into that of [man]_1176-man and [woman]_1915-woman , why , all [I]_0-i can say is — [I]_0-i would rather have [[your]_78-emmeline [Mary]_143-mary]_{1916-your mary} for [[my]_0-i Herbert]_{1231-my herbert} than [any one else [I]_0-i know]_{1918-any one else i know} . " "_[143-mary] [She]_143-mary is not only [[my]_0-i [Mary]_143-mary]_{1919-my mary} ! " answered [the poor mother]_{5511-the poor mother} , with such a quivering of the eye and lip , that it checked [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's joyousness at once . "_[143-mary] [She]_143-mary is [[your]_78-emmeline [Mary]_143-mary]_{1916-your mary} , in all that can make such a character as [[my]_0-i [Herbert]_102-herbert]_{1231-my herbert} happy , " was [her]_0-i instant reply , with a pressure of [Mrs. Greville]_{140-mrs. greville} 's hand , that said far more than [her]_0-i words . "_[143-mary] [I]_0-i am not one of those who like to make matches in anticipation , for [man]_1176-man 's best laid schemes are so often overthrown by the most trifling but unforeseen chances , that display a much wiser providence than [our]_1923-our greatest wisdom , that [I]_0-i should consider it almost sinful so to do ; but never let a thought of suffering cross [your]_78-emmeline mind , dearest [Jessie]_141-jessie , as to what [[my]_0-i husband]_{3521-my husband} 's and [my]_0-i own answer will be , if [[our]_1923-our [Herbert]_102-herbert]_{1925-our herbert} should indeed ever wish to choose [[your]_78-emmeline [Mary]_143-mary]_{1916-your mary} as [[his]_102-herbert wife]_{521-his wife} , and , certainly a most important addition , should [she]_143-mary wish it too . [Our]_1923-our best plan now is to let [them]_1928-them follow [their]_1928-them own inclinations regarding correspondence . [We]_1923-our can , [I]_0-i am sure , trust [them]_1928-them both , for what can be a greater proof of [[my]_0-i boy]_{868-my boy} 's perfect confidence in [my]_0-i sympathy with [his]_102-herbert feelings toward [her]_143-mary , than to make [me]_0-i [[his]_102-herbert messenger]_{1930-his messenger} , as [he]_102-herbert has done , and as [he]_102-herbert , no doubt , will continue to do , even if [he]_102-herbert write . [I]_0-i have not the smallest doubt , that [he]_102-herbert will inclose [me]_0-i [his]_102-herbert letters to [her]_143-mary unsealed , and [I]_0-i rather think [[your]_1931-your Mary]_{1916-your mary} will send [me]_0-i [her]_143-mary replies in the same unreserved manner . " And [she]_143-mary was right . Nor , [we]_5512-they think , did the purity and innocence of those letters , so intensely interesting to [each other]_{938-each other} , give place to any other style , even when [they]_5512-they chanced to discover that [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} was utterly ignorant of [their]_5512-they contents , except that which [they]_5512-they chose to read or impart to [her]_143-mary [themselves]_5512-they . But even this assurance on the part of one so loved and trusted as [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , could not entirely remove [Mrs. Greville]_{140-mrs. greville} 's vague anticipations of evil . [Mr. Greville]_{146-mr. greville} always shunned , and declared [he]_{146-mr. greville} hated [the Hamilton family]_{3959-the hamilton family} ; but as [he]_{146-mr. greville} seemed to entertain the same feeling toward [herself]_143-mary and [[her]_143-mary poor [Mary]_143-mary]_{5515-her poor mary} , [she]_143-mary tried to comfort [herself]_143-mary by the idea that [he]_{146-mr. greville} would never trouble [his]_{146-mr. greville} head about [[his]_{146-mr. greville} daughter]_{586-his daughter} ; or be glad to get [her]_{586-his daughter} out of [his]_{146-mr. greville} way , especially if [she]_{586-his daughter} married well . Still anxiety for the future would press upon [her]_143-mary ; only calmed by [her]_143-mary firm , unchanging faith in [that gracious , ever - watchful Providence , who , if in spite of [her]_143-mary heavy troubles [she]_143-mary still tried to trust and serve , would order all things for the best]_{5517-that gracious , ever - watchful providence , who , if in spite of her heavy troubles she still tried to trust and serve , would order all things for the best} ; and it was this , this faith alone , which so supported [her]_143-mary , as to permit [her]_143-mary to make [[her]_143-mary child]_{350-her child} 's home and heart almost as happy as if [her]_143-mary path had all been smooth . In [the Grahame family]_{5049-the grahame family} a change had taken place , in [Master Cecil]_198-cecil 's being sent to [Eton]_32-eton some time before [[his]_198-cecil father]_{406-his father} had intended ; but so many cases of [Lady Helen]_{127-lady helen} 's faulty indolence and ruinous indulgence had come under [his]_{146-mr. greville} notice , that [he]_{146-mr. greville} felt to remove [the boy]_{290-the boy} from [her]_{127-lady helen} influence must be accomplished at any cost . [Cecil]_198-cecil was quite delighted , but [[his]_198-cecil mother]_{330-his mother} was so indignant , that [she]_{330-his mother} overcame [her]_{330-his mother} habitual awe of [[her]_{330-his mother} husband]_{340-her husband} sufficiently to vow that [she]_{330-his mother} would not live so far from [[her]_{330-his mother} son]_{326-her son} , and if [he]_198-cecil must go to [school]_570-school , [she]_{330-his mother} must leave [Moorlands]_28-moorlands . [Grahame]_{127-lady helen} , with equal positiveness , declared that [he]_{340-her husband} would not give up [a home endeared to [him]_{340-her husband}]_{5526-a home endeared to him} so long , nor to entirely break off [his]_{340-her husband} companionship with [[his]_{340-her husband} dearest friends]_{5527-his dearest friends} . A very stormy dialogue of course took place , and ended by [both parties]_{5528-both parties} being more resolved to entertain [their]_{5528-both parties} own opinion . The interposition of [Mr.]_5529-mr. and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , however , obtained some concession on [Grahame]_{127-lady helen} 's part , and [he]_{340-her husband} promised that if [Lady Helen]_{127-lady helen} would make [Moorlands]_28-moorlands [[her]_{127-lady helen} home]_{576-her home} from the middle of July till the end of October , November and December should be spent in [the vicinity of [Eton]_32-eton]_{5531-the vicinity of eton} , and [she]_{127-lady helen} should then have six months for [London]_13-london and [its]_13-london attractions . This concession brought back all [Lady Helen]_{127-lady helen} 's smiles , and charmed [Annie]_129-annie , though it was a source of real regret to [Caroline]_120-caroline , who could not help feeling a little pained at [[her]_120-caroline friend]_{535-her friend} 's small concern at this long separation from [her]_120-caroline . But still [she]_120-caroline loved [her]_129-annie ; and , as [Annie]_129-annie wrote frequently , and when [she]_129-annie was at [Moorlands]_28-moorlands never tired of [her]_129-annie society ( the eight months of absence giving [her]_129-annie so much interesting matter to impart ) , [Caroline]_120-caroline was not only satisfied , but insensible to the utter want of sympathy which [Annie]_129-annie manifested in [her]_129-annie pursuits , [her]_129-annie pleasures . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} often wished that [Caroline]_120-caroline had chosen one more deserving of [her]_120-caroline friendship , but [she]_120-caroline trusted that time and experience would teach [her]_120-caroline [Annie]_129-annie 's real character , and so did not feel any anxiety on that score . There was only [one member in [[Grahame]_129-annie 's family]_{5534-grahame 's family} , that [Mr.]_5535-mr. and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} hoped might bring joy and comfort to [[their]_{5534-grahame 's family} friend]_{5536-their friend}]_{5533-one member in grahame 's family , that mr. and mrs. hamilton hoped might bring joy and comfort to their friend} , and that was [[his]_5535-mr. little Lilla]_{5537-his little lilla} . [She]_{5537-his little lilla} was five years younger than [Annie]_129-annie , and being much less attractive , seemed almost forgotten , and so was spared the dangerous ordeal of flattery and indulgence to which [Annie]_129-annie had been subject ; and from being more violent and less agreeable than [Cecil]_198-cecil , was not so frequently spoiled by [[her]_{5537-his little lilla} mother]_{345-her mother} . [They]_{5534-grahame 's family} feared [the poor child]_{399-the poor child} would have much to endure from [her]_{399-the poor child} own temper , [Annie]_129-annie 's overbearing insolence , and [Lady Helen]_{127-lady helen} 's culpable indolence ; but [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} hoped , when [she]_{345-her mother} resided part of the year in [London]_13-london , as [she]_{345-her mother} felt [she]_{345-her mother} would very soon be called upon to do , to be enabled to rouse [Grahame]_129-annie 's attention toward [[his]_5535-mr. youngest child]_{5540-his youngest child} , and prevail on [him]_5535-mr. to relax in [his]_5535-mr. sternness toward [her]_{345-her mother} ; and by taking notice of [her]_{345-her mother} continually [herself]_{345-her mother} , instill such feelings in [her]_{345-her mother} as would attract [her]_{345-her mother} toward [[her]_{345-her mother} father]_{435-her father} , and so increase the happiness of both . Every visit of [the Grahame family]_{5049-the grahame family} to [Moorlands]_28-moorlands , [she]_{345-her mother} resolved to study [Lilla]_169-lilla well , and try all [she]_{345-her mother} could to make one in reality so estimable , as [[[her]_{345-her mother} husband]_{340-her husband} 's friend]_{5544-her husband 's friend} , happy , in [one child]_{449-one child} at least . It had been [Mr.]_5546-mr. and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's intention to go to [London]_13-london the January after [Caroline]_120-caroline was seventeen , and give [her]_120-caroline the advantage of finishing [masters]_548-masters , and a partial introduction to [the world]_{592-the world} , by having the best society at [home]_563-home , before [she]_120-caroline launched into all its exciting pleasures ; to return to [Oakwood]_12-oakwood in July or August , and revisit [the metropolis]_{4032-the metropolis} the following February or March , for the season , when , as [she]_120-caroline would be eighteen and a half , [she]_120-caroline should be fully introduced . [Caroline]_120-caroline , of course , anticipated this period with intense delight . [She]_120-caroline was quite satisfied that in [her]_120-caroline first visit [she]_120-caroline should study as much as , if not more than before ; and content and thankful that [[her]_120-caroline mother]_{345-her mother} would allow [her]_120-caroline to enter so far into society , as always to join dinner or evening parties at [home]_563-home , and go to [some of [[her]_120-caroline most intimate friends]_{5554-her most intimate friends}]_{5553-some of her most intimate friends} , when [their]_{5553-some of her most intimate friends} coteries were very small and friendly ; and , another eagerly anticipated delight , sometimes go to the opera and the best concerts , and visit all [the galleries of art]_{5555-the galleries of art} . To [poor Emmeline]_78-emmeline these anticipations gave no pleasure whatever ; [she]_78-emmeline hated the very thought of leaving [Oakwood]_12-oakwood , firmly convinced that not the most highly intellectual , nor the most delightful social enjoyment in [London]_13-london , could equal the pure delights of [Devonshire]_{11-devonshire} and [home]_563-home . [Ellen]_113-ellen seemed too engrossed with [her]_113-ellen own thoughts to evince a feeling either way , much to [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} 's regret , as [her]_113-ellen constant quietness and seeming determined repression of [her]_113-ellen sentiments , rendered [her]_113-ellen character still more difficult to read . But a heavy disappointment was preparing for [Caroline]_120-caroline , in the compelled postponement of [her]_120-caroline bright anticipations ; to understand the causes of which , [we]_5558-we must glance back on an event in [the Hamilton family]_{3959-the hamilton family} , which had occurred some years before [its present head]_{5560-its present head} was born . In the early part of the reign of [George the Third]_{199-george the third} , [Arthur Hamilton]_{84-arthur hamilton} , [the grandfather of [[our]_5558-we [friend of the same name]_{5563-friend of the same name}]_{5562-our friend of the same name}]_{5561-the grandfather of our friend of the same name} , had been sent by [government]_{5564-government} to [the coast of [Denmark]_44-denmark]_{5565-the coast of denmark} : [his]_{84-arthur hamilton} estimable character so won [him]_{84-arthur hamilton} the regard of [the reigning sovereign]_{5566-the reigning sovereign} , [Christian VII]_{200-christian vii} . , that , on [his]_{84-arthur hamilton} departure , the royal wish was expressed for [his]_{84-arthur hamilton} speedy return.—On [his]_{84-arthur hamilton} voyage [home]_563-home , [he]_{84-arthur hamilton} was wrecked off [the Feroe Islands]_{52-the feroe islands} , and rescued from danger and death by the strenuous exertions of [the islanders]_{5568-the islanders} , who entertained [him]_{84-arthur hamilton} and [the crew]_{5419-the crew} with the utmost hospitality , till [[their]_{5568-the islanders} ship]_{5570-their ship} was again seaworthy . During [his]_{84-arthur hamilton} involuntary detention , [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} became deeply interested in [the Feroese]_{5571-the feroese} , a people living , it seemed , in the midst of desolation , [a cluster of small rocky islets , divided by some hundred [miles of stormy sea]_{5573-miles of stormy sea} from [[their]_{5571-the feroese} fellows]_{5574-their fellows}]_{5572-a cluster of small rocky islets , divided by some hundred miles of stormy sea from their fellows} . [He]_{84-arthur hamilton} made the tour of [the islands]_{5575-the islands} , and found almost all [[their]_{5575-the islands} inhabitants]_{5576-their inhabitants} possessing the same characteristics as those of [Samboe]_53-samboe , [the island off which [he]_{84-arthur hamilton} had been wrecked]_{5577-the island off which he had been wrecked} ; kind , hospitable , honest , temperate , inclined to natural piety , but so perfectly indifferent to the various privations and annoyances of [their]_{5575-the islands} lot , as to make no effort toward removing [them]_{5575-the islands} . Traveling either by [land]_3848-land or [sea]_579-sea was so dangerous and difficult , that in [some parishes]_{5580-some parishes} [the clergyman]_{5581-the clergyman} could only perform service twice a year,[3 ] or once every one , two , or three months . [The islands in which [the clergyman]_{5581-the clergyman} resided]_{5582-the islands in which the clergyman resided} were , [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} observed , in a much higher state of civilization and morality than [Samboe]_53-samboe and some others , and an earnest desire took possession of [him]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , to do some real service for [those who had saved [him]_{81-mrs. hamilton} from danger and treated [him]_{81-mrs. hamilton} so hospitably]_{5584-those who had saved him from danger and treated him so hospitably} . [He]_{81-mrs. hamilton} very speedily acquired [their]_{5575-the islands} language , which gave [him]_{81-mrs. hamilton} still more influence . [He]_{81-mrs. hamilton} found , also , that if [their]_{5575-the islands} ancient customs and traditions were left undisturbed , they were very easily led , and this discovery strengthened [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} purpose.—His departure was universally regretted ; and [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} promise to return imagined too great a privilege to be believed . As soon as [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} political duties in [England]_10-england permitted , [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} revisited [Denmark]_44-denmark , and was received with such cordiality as to encourage [him]_{81-mrs. hamilton} to make [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} petition for the improvement of [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} majesty 's poor subjects of [Samboe]_53-samboe]_{5585-his majesty 's poor subjects of samboe} . It was granted directly ; [the little island]_{5586-the little island} so far made over to [him]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , that [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} was at liberty to introduce and erect whatever [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} pleased within [it]_{5586-the little island} ; and [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , all eagerness for the perfection of [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} plans , returned with speed to [England]_10-england ; obtained the valuable aid of [a poor though worthy clergyman , who , with [[his]_{5587-a poor though worthy clergyman , who , with his wife , voluntarily offered to make samboe their home , and assist their benefactor ( for such mr. hamilton had long been ) , to the very best of their ability} wife]_{521-his wife} , voluntarily offered to make [Samboe]_53-samboe [[their]_{5587-a poor though worthy clergyman , who , with his wife , voluntarily offered to make samboe their home , and assist their benefactor ( for such mr. hamilton had long been ) , to the very best of their ability} home]_{4033-their home} , and assist [[their]_{5587-a poor though worthy clergyman , who , with his wife , voluntarily offered to make samboe their home , and assist their benefactor ( for such mr. hamilton had long been ) , to the very best of their ability} benefactor]_{5590-their benefactor} ( for such [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had long been ) , to the very best of [their]_{5587-a poor though worthy clergyman , who , with his wife , voluntarily offered to make samboe their home , and assist their benefactor ( for such mr. hamilton had long been ) , to the very best of their ability} ability]_{5587-a poor though worthy clergyman , who , with his wife , voluntarily offered to make samboe their home , and assist their benefactor ( for such mr. hamilton had long been ) , to the very best of their ability} . [A strong - built vessel]_{5591-a strong - built vessel} was easily procured , and a favorable voyage soon transported [them]_{5587-a poor though worthy clergyman , who , with his wife , voluntarily offered to make samboe their home , and assist their benefactor ( for such mr. hamilton had long been ) , to the very best of their ability} to [Feroe]_54-feroe . The delight of [the Samboese]_{201-the samboese} at beholding [[their]_{5587-a poor though worthy clergyman , who , with his wife , voluntarily offered to make samboe their home , and assist their benefactor ( for such mr. hamilton had long been ) , to the very best of their ability} former guest]_{5592-their former guest} again , prepossessed [Mr.]_5593-mr. and [Mrs. Wilson]_{202-mrs. wilson} in [their]_{5587-a poor though worthy clergyman , who , with his wife , voluntarily offered to make samboe their home , and assist their benefactor ( for such mr. hamilton had long been ) , to the very best of their ability} favor , and [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , before [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} six months ' sojourn with [them]_{5587-a poor though worthy clergyman , who , with his wife , voluntarily offered to make samboe their home , and assist their benefactor ( for such mr. hamilton had long been ) , to the very best of their ability} was over , beheld [the island]_{5594-the island} in a fair way of religious and moral improvement.—Schools were formed and [masters]_548-masters appointed — [houses]_5596-houses were made more comfortable — [women]_5597-women and [young children]_{4770-young children} more cared for , and employments found , and sufficiently rewarded to encourage persevering labor . Three or four times [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} visited [the island]_{5594-the island} again before [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} death , and each time [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had more reason to be satisfied with the effect of [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} schemes . [Mr.]_5600-mr. and [Mrs. Wilson]_{202-mrs. wilson} were perfectly happy . [[Their]_{5587-a poor though worthy clergyman , who , with his wife , voluntarily offered to make samboe their home , and assist their benefactor ( for such mr. hamilton had long been ) , to the very best of their ability} son]_{1262-their son} was united to [the pretty and excellent daughter of [one of [the Danish clergymen]_{5604-the danish clergymen}]_{5603-one of the danish clergymen}]_{5602-the pretty and excellent daughter of one of the danish clergymen} , and [a young family]_{5605-a young family} was blooming round [them]_{5587-a poor though worthy clergyman , who , with his wife , voluntarily offered to make samboe their home , and assist their benefactor ( for such mr. hamilton had long been ) , to the very best of their ability} , so that there seemed a fair promise of [the ministry of [Samboe]_53-samboe continuing long in charge of [the same family]_{5607-the same family}]_{5606-the ministry of samboe continuing long in charge of the same family} . [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , on [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} death - bed , exacted a promise from [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} son]_{514-his son} that [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} would not permit [the island]_{5594-the island} to fall back into [its]_{5594-the island} old habits ; but that , if required , [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} would visit [it]_{5594-the island} [himself]_{81-mrs. hamilton} . The visit was not required , but [Percy Hamilton]_150-percy ( [the father of [the present possessor of Oakwood]_{5611-the present possessor of oakwood}]_{5610-the father of the present possessor of oakwood} ) , from respect to [[his]_150-percy father]_{406-his father} 's memory , made a voyage to [Samboe]_53-samboe on the demise of [the elder Wilson]_{5613-the elder wilson} . [He]_{81-mrs. hamilton} found every thing flourishing and happy ; [Frederic Wilson]_{180-frederic wilson} had been received as [[their]_5614-their pastor]_{5615-their pastor} and head , with as much joy as [their]_5614-their regret for [[his]_150-percy father]_{406-his father} would permit ; and [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} returned to [England]_10-england , satisfied with [himself]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , and inexpressibly touched by the veneration still entertained in [that distant island]_{5617-that distant island} for [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} father]_{406-his father} . The same promise was demanded by [him]_{81-mrs. hamilton} from [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} son]_{514-his son} , and [Arthur Hamilton]_{84-arthur hamilton} had visited [Feroe]_54-feroe directly after the loss of [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} parent]_{633-his parent} , and before [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} engagement with [Miss Manvers]_91-eleanor . [He]_{84-arthur hamilton} found [it]_54-feroe in the same satisfactory condition as [[his]_{84-arthur hamilton} predecessors]_{5621-his predecessors} had done , and the letters [he]_{84-arthur hamilton} regularly received confirmed it ; but for the last year and a half [he]_{84-arthur hamilton} had received no tidings . [Frederic Wilson]_{180-frederic wilson} , [he]_{84-arthur hamilton} knew , was dead , but [his]_{84-arthur hamilton} last account had told [him]_{84-arthur hamilton} [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} eldest son , who had been educated in [Denmark]_44-denmark]_{5622-his eldest son , who had been educated in denmark} , had been gladly received by [the simple people]_{5623-the simple people} , and promised fair to be as much loved , and do the same good as [[his]_{5622-his eldest son , who had been educated in denmark} father]_{406-his father} and [grandfather]_{5625-grandfather} . The silence then was incomprehensible , and [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had resolved , if another year passed without intelligence , it would be a positive duty to visit [it]_54-feroe [himself]_{81-mrs. hamilton} . It was the seventh of June , and one of those glorious mornings , when [Nature]_203-nature looks lovelier than ever . The windows of [the breakfast - room]_{1147-the breakfast - room} were thrown widely open , and never did the superb trees of [Oakwood Park]_{55-oakwood park} look richer or display a greater variety of green . [The flower - garden , on part of which [the breakfast - room]_{1147-the breakfast - room} opened]_{5627-the flower - garden , on part of which the breakfast - room opened} , was actually dazzling with [its]_{5627-the flower - garden , on part of which the breakfast - room opened} profusion of brilliant flowers , on which the sun looked down so gloriously ; a smooth lawn whose green was a perfect emerald , stretched down from the parterre , till it was lost in woody openings , which disclosed [the winding river]_{5629-the winding river} , that , lying as [a lake on one side]_{5630-a lake on one side} , appeared to sweep round [some exquisite scenery on the opposite side]_{5631-some exquisite scenery on the opposite side} , and form [another lake]_{5632-another lake} , about a mile further . It was [Emmeline]_78-emmeline 's favorite view , and [she]_78-emmeline always declared , that it so varied its aspects of loveliness , [she]_78-emmeline was sure it never looked two mornings exactly alike , and so long would [she]_78-emmeline stand and admire , that [[her]_78-emmeline mother]_{345-her mother} often threatened to send [her]_78-emmeline [her]_78-emmeline breakfast in [[her]_78-emmeline own room]_{4399-her own room} , where the view , though picturesque , would not so completely turn [her]_78-emmeline attention from the dull realities of life . There were some letters on the table this morning , so [she]_78-emmeline had a longer time to drink in poetry than usual . "_[143-mary] Who can offer [Ellen]_113-ellen a more precious birthday - gift than [mine]_1933-mine ? " exclaimed [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , playfully holding up a letter , as [[her]_1933-mine niece]_{372-her niece} entered . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i wonder if [Edward]_76-edward remembered how near [[his]_76-edward sister]_{561-his sister} was to fifteen , and so wrote on the chance of [your]_113-ellen receiving it on the day itself ! " "_[76-edward] Why , [Ellen]_113-ellen , what a queer effect pleasure has on [you]_113-ellen ! [I]_0-i always notice [you]_113-ellen turn quite pale whenever [Edward]_76-edward 's letters are given to [you]_113-ellen , " interposed [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , looking at [[her]_78-emmeline cousin]_{4159-her cousin} , and laughing . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i am sure , the very hurry [I]_0-i am in to open [Percy]_150-percy 's and [Herbert]_102-herbert 's , must give [me]_0-i a color , and [you]_113-ellen are as deliberate as if [you]_113-ellen did not care about it . [I]_0-i do wish [you]_113-ellen would not be so cold and quiet . " "_[113-ellen] One giddy brain is quite enough in [a house]_{1935-a house} , " rejoined [[her]_{3465-my little girl} father]_{435-her father} , in the same mirthful tone , and looking up from [his]_{435-her father} letter [he]_{435-her father} called [Ellen]_113-ellen to [him]_{435-her father} , and kissed [her]_113-ellen . "_[113-ellen] [I]_0-i forgot the day of the month , [[my]_0-i little girl]_{3465-my little girl} , but [I]_0-i am not too late , [I]_0-i hope , to say , God bless [you]_113-ellen , and wish that every year may pass more happily , more usefully , and more prepared for eternity than the last ! " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i do not think [you]_0-i have forgotten it , [[my]_0-i dear uncle]_{1937-my dear uncle} , " replied [Ellen]_113-ellen , gratefully ( [she]_113-ellen had not yet opened [[her]_113-ellen brother]_{384-her brother} 's letter ) ; "_{[3424-my aunt]} for [[my]_0-i aunt]_{3424-my aunt} says , [I]_0-i am to thank [you]_0-i as well as [her]_{3424-my aunt} for this beautiful birthday gift , " and [she]_0-i displayed an elegant little gold watch ; "_[0-i] indeed , [I]_0-i do not know how to thank [you]_0-i for all [your]_0-i kindness ! " [she]_0-i added , so earnestly that tears came to [her]_0-i eyes . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i will say , as [I]_0-i have heard [[your]_0-i aunt]_{3426-your aunt} often say — by trying to be a little more lively , and unreserved , [[my]_0-i dear]_{3485-my dear} [Ellen]_113-ellen ; that would prove [our]_1941-our kindness and affection made [you]_0-i happy , better than any thing ; but [I]_0-i am not going to lecture [you]_0-i on [your]_0-i birthday , and with a letter from [Edward]_76-edward in [your]_0-i hand , " [he]_76-edward continued , smiling . "_[76-edward] Open it , [[my]_0-i dear]_{3485-my dear} , [I]_0-i want to know its date ; [I]_0-i rather think [[my]_0-i friend]_{1095-my friend} [Manly]_76-edward 's must be written later . " "_[113-ellen] Nothing in it for [me]_0-i , [Ellen]_113-ellen ? " asked [[her]_0-i aunt]_{367-her aunt} . "_[113-ellen] What [a lazy boy]_{1944-a lazy boy} [he]_76-edward has grown ! " "_[113-ellen] An inclosure for [you]_113-ellen , [Ellen]_113-ellen ; why , that is as queer as [your]_113-ellen paleness ! " said [Emmeline]_78-emmeline . "_[113-ellen] Do let [[your]_113-ellen cousin]_{929-your cousin} 's paleness alone , " interposed [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , gayly . "_[113-ellen] [I]_0-i really can not perceive [she]_{929-your cousin} has any less color than usual , and as for the inclosure , [Edward]_76-edward often has something to add at the last moment , and no room to insert it , and so there is nothing remarkable in [his]_76-edward using another half sheet . " "_{[78-emmeline]} [Emmeline]_78-emmeline always creates wonders out of shadows , " said [Caroline]_120-caroline , dryly . "_{[78-emmeline]} And [you]_113-ellen never see any thing but dull , coarse , heavy realities , " laughed [[her]_120-caroline sister]_{325-her sister} in reply . "_{[78-emmeline]} Come , [Ellen]_113-ellen , tell [us]_1946-us something of [this idle brother of [yours]_113-ellen]_{1947-this idle brother of yours} , who promised to write to [me]_0-i every packet , and never does . " [Ellen]_113-ellen read nearly the whole letter aloud , and it was unusually entertaining , for [the ship]_{5641-the ship} had been cruising about the last month and [Edward]_76-edward described the various scenes and new places [he]_76-edward had visited more lengthily than usual . [He]_76-edward anticipated with great glee an engagement with [some desperate pirates]_{5642-some desperate pirates} , whose track [they]_1949-they were pursuing . "_[76-edward] Does [he]_76-edward mention an engagement ? " inquired [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} . "_[76-edward] No , [uncle]_3425-uncle ; [he]_76-edward concludes quite abruptly , saying [they]_1949-they have just piped all hands , and [he]_76-edward must be off . The direction does not seem [his]_76-edward writing . " "_[76-edward] Nor is it ; [Sir Edward]_76-edward sealed , directed , and put it up for [him]_76-edward in [his]_76-edward own to [me]_0-i . [They]_1949-they had piped all hands , as [he]_76-edward calls it , because [the pirate ship]_{1950-the pirate ship} was in sight , and an engagement did take place . " "_[76-edward] And [Edward]_76-edward — oh , [uncle]_3425-uncle , is [he]_76-edward hurt ? [I]_0-i am sure , [he]_76-edward is , by [your]_3425-uncle face , " exclaimed [Ellen]_113-ellen ; trembling and [all the little circle]_{5643-all the little circle} looked alarmed . "_[76-edward] Then [my]_0-i face is [a deceiver]_{1952-a deceiver} , " replied [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , quite cheerfully . "_{[1952-a deceiver]} [He]_76-edward only received a slight flesh wound in [his]_76-edward right arm , which prevented [his]_76-edward using it to complete [his]_76-edward letter , and [I]_0-i rather think , [he]_76-edward would have willingly been hurt still more , to receive such praises as [Sir Edward]_76-edward lavishes on [him]_76-edward . Listen to what [he]_76-edward says—'Not [a boy or man on board]_{1953-a boy or man on board} distinguished [himself]_76-edward more than [[your]_3425-uncle nephew]_{1954-your nephew} : in fact , [I]_0-i am only astonished [he]_76-edward escaped as [he]_76-edward did , for [those pirates]_{1955-those pirates} are [desperate fighters]_{1956-desperate fighters} , and when [we]_1957-we boarded [them]_{1955-those pirates} , [Fortescue]_113-ellen was in the midst of [them]_{1955-those pirates} , fighting like a young lion . Courage and gallantry are such dazzling qualities in [a young lad]_{1958-a young lad} , that [we]_1957-we think more of them perhaps than [we]_1957-we ought , but [I]_0-i can not say too much for [[your]_3425-uncle nephew]_{1954-your nephew} ; [I]_0-i have [not a lad more devoted to [his]_{1954-your nephew} duty]_{1960-not a lad more devoted to his duty} . [I]_0-i was glad to show [him]_{1954-your nephew} [my]_0-i approbation by giving [him]_{1954-your nephew} some days ' liberty , when [we]_1957-we were off [New York]_{56-new york} ; but [I]_0-i have since told [him]_{1954-your nephew} , the air of [land]_3848-land certainly did not agree with [him]_{1954-your nephew} , for [he]_{1954-your nephew} has looked paler and thinner ever since . [He]_{1954-your nephew} is growing very fast ; and altogether , if [I]_0-i have occasion to send another prize schooner [home]_563-home , [I]_0-i think it not improbable [I]_0-i shall nominate [him]_{1954-your nephew} as [one of [the officers]_{3748-the officers}]_{1963-one of the officers} , that [he]_{1954-your nephew} may have the benefit of the healthful breezes of [Old England]_{57-old england} , to bring back [his]_{1954-your nephew} full strength . ' There [Ellen]_113-ellen , [I]_0-i think that is a still better birthday - present than even [Edward]_76-edward 's own letter . [I]_0-i am as proud of [[my]_0-i nephew]_{1965-my nephew} as [Sir Edward]_76-edward is . " "_[0-i] And do [you]_0-i think [he]_{1954-your nephew} really will come ? " asked [Ellen]_113-ellen , trying to conquer [her]_113-ellen emotion . "_[0-i] [We]_1966-we will hope it , dearest , " replied [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} , kindly . "_[0-i] But do not think too much about it , even if [Sir Edward]_76-edward be not able to do as [he]_76-edward says . [[His]_76-edward own ship]_{5412-his own ship} will be coming [home]_563-home in a year or two , and [you]_113-ellen owned to [me]_0-i [yourself]_113-ellen this morning , it did not seem as long as it really is , since [[our]_1966-we dear sailor]_{1969-our dear sailor} left [us]_1966-we ; so the remaining time will soon pass . Finish [your]_113-ellen breakfast , and go , love , and enjoy [his]_76-edward letter again to [yourself]_113-ellen . " And [Ellen]_113-ellen gladly obeyed ; for it was from no imaginary cause that the receipt of [Edward]_76-edward 's letters so often paled [her]_113-ellen cheek , and parched [her]_113-ellen lip with terror . [She]_113-ellen knew that concerning [him]_76-edward which none else but [Harding]_197-harding did ; and even when those letters imparted nothing but that which [she]_113-ellen could read to [[her]_113-ellen family]_{800-her family} , the dread was quite enough to banish any thing like the elastic happiness , natural to [her]_113-ellen age , and called for by the kindness of those [she]_113-ellen loved . [His]_76-edward letter this time , however , had not a word to call for that sickness of the heart , with which [she]_113-ellen had received it , and [she]_113-ellen read it again and again ; with a thankfulness , too intense for words . "_[113-ellen] [You]_113-ellen dropped this , [[Ellen]_113-ellen dear]_{1970-ellen dear} , " said the voice of [[her]_113-ellen cousin]_{4159-her cousin} [Emmeline]_78-emmeline at [her]_113-ellen door , ten minutes after [she]_113-ellen left [the breakfast - room]_{1147-the breakfast - room} . "_[113-ellen] It was under the table , and [I]_0-i do not think [you]_1971-you have read it ; it is the inclosure [I]_0-i was so amused at . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i dare say it is a letter written for some other opportunity , and forgotten to be sent ; it is only a few words , " replied [Ellen]_113-ellen as [she]_113-ellen looked at its length , not at its meaning , for the fearful lesson of quiet unconcern when the heart is bursting had been too early learned . "_[3546-papa] Then [I]_0-i will leave [you]_1971-you in peace : by - the - by , [cousin]_5043-cousin [mine]_0-i , [papa]_3546-papa told [me]_0-i to tell [you]_1971-you , that as [the Prince William]_{192-the prince william} is soon going to cruise again , [your]_1971-you answer to [Edward]_76-edward must be ready this day week , the latest , and [mamma]_3420-mamma says , if [you]_1971-you like to write part of it now that all [Edward]_76-edward 's little love - speeches are fresh in [your]_1971-you mind , [you]_1971-you can do so ; it is [your]_1971-you birthday , and [you]_1971-you may spend it as [you]_1971-you like . How [I]_0-i shall enjoy making a lion of [[my]_0-i cousin]_{1054-my cousin} , when [he]_76-edward comes!"—and away tripped [the happy girl]_{5648-the happy girl} , singing some wild snatch of an old ballad about [sailors]_5649-sailors . [Ellen]_113-ellen shut the door , secured it , and with a lip and cheek colorless as [her]_113-ellen robe , an eye strained and bloodshot , read the following words — few indeed ! "_{[1976-that villain]} [Ellen]_113-ellen ! [I]_0-i am again in [that villain]_{1976-that villain} 's power , and for a sum so trifling , that it maddens [me]_0-i to think [I]_0-i can not discharge it without again appealing to [you]_1971-you . [I]_0-i had resolved never to play again — and again [some demon]_{1977-some demon} lured [me]_0-i to [those Hells]_{58-those hells} ! If [I]_0-i do not pay [him]_76-edward by [my]_0-i next receipts from [home]_563-home , [he]_76-edward will expose [me]_0-i , and what then — disgrace , expulsion , death ! for [I]_0-i will not survive it ; there are easy means of self - destruction to [a sailor]_{3421-a sailor} , and who shall know but that [he]_{3421-a sailor} is accidentally drowned ? [You]_1971-you promised [me]_0-i to save part of every allowance , in case [I]_0-i needed it . If [you]_1971-you would indeed save [me]_0-i , send [me]_0-i five - and - thirty pounds ! [Ellen]_113-ellen ! by some means , [I]_0-i must have it ; but breathe it to [[my]_0-i uncle]_{1463-my uncle} or [aunt]_1460-aunt — for if [she]_1982-he knows it , [he]_1982-he will — and [you]_1971-you will never see [me]_0-i more ! " For one long hour [Ellen]_113-ellen never moved . [Her]_113-ellen brain felt scorched , [her]_113-ellen limbs utterly powerless . Every word seemed to write itself in letters of fire on [her]_113-ellen heart and brain , till [she]_113-ellen could almost have screamed , from the dread agony ; and then came the heavy weight , so often felt before , but never crushing every thought and energy as now , the seeming utter impossibility to comply with that fearfully urged demand . [He]_1982-he called it a sum so trifling , and [she]_113-ellen felt a hundred , ay , a thousand pounds were not more difficult to obtain . [She]_113-ellen had saved , indeed , denying [herself]_113-ellen every little indulgence , every personal gratification , spending only what [she]_113-ellen was obliged , and yet compelled to let [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} believe [she]_113-ellen had properly expended all , that [she]_113-ellen might have the means of sending [him]_1982-he money when [he]_1982-he demanded it , without exposing [herself]_113-ellen to doubt and displeasure as before ; but in the eight months since [his]_1982-he last call , [she]_113-ellen had only been enabled to put by fifteen pounds , not half the sum [he]_1982-he needed . How was [she]_113-ellen to get the rest ? and [she]_113-ellen had so buoyed [herself]_113-ellen with the fond hope , that even if [he]_1982-he did write for help again , [she]_113-ellen could send it to [him]_1982-he so easily — and now — [her]_113-ellen mind seemed actually to reel beneath the intense agony of these desperate words . [She]_113-ellen was too young , too believing , and too terror - stricken to doubt for a moment the alternative [he]_1982-he placed before [her]_113-ellen , with a vividness , a desperation , of which [he]_1982-he was unconscious [himself]_1982-he . Those words spoken , would have been terrible , almost awful in one so young — though a brief interval would have sufficiently calmed both [the hearer]_{5651-the hearer} and [the speaker]_{5652-the speaker} , to satisfy that they were but words , and that self - destruction is never breathed , if really intended : but written , [the writer]_{1295-the writer} at a distance , imagination at liberty , to heighten every terror , every reality ; [[their]_5654-their reader]_{5655-their reader} [a young loving girl , utterly ignorant of [the world]_{592-the world} 's ways and temptations , and the many errors to which youth is subject , but from which manhood may spring up unsullied]_{5656-a young loving girl , utterly ignorant of the world 's ways and temptations , and the many errors to which youth is subject , but from which manhood may spring up unsullied} ; and so believing , almost crushed by the belief , that [[her]_113-ellen brother]_{384-her brother} , the only one , [her]_113-ellen own — respected , beloved , as [he]_{384-her brother} was said to be — had yet committed such faults , as would hurl [him]_{384-her brother} from [his]_{384-her brother} present position to the lowest depth of degradation , for what else could tempt [him]_{384-her brother} , to swear not to survive it ? Was it marvel , that poor [Ellen]_113-ellen was only conscious that [she]_113-ellen must save him?—Again did [[her]_113-ellen dying mother]_{5659-her dying mother} stand before [her]_113-ellen — again did [her]_113-ellen well - remembered voice beseech [her]_113-ellen to save [him]_{384-her brother} [[her]_113-ellen darling]_{336-her darling} , beautiful [Edward]_76-edward , from disgrace and punishment — reiterate that [her]_113-ellen word was pledged , and [she]_113-ellen must do it , and if [she]_113-ellen suffered — had [she]_113-ellen not done so from infancy — and what was [her]_113-ellen happiness to [his]_{384-her brother} ? Define why it should be of less moment , indeed , [she]_113-ellen could not . It was the fatal influences of [her]_113-ellen childhood working alone . How that day passed , [Ellen]_113-ellen never knew . [She]_113-ellen had been too long accustomed to control , to betray [her]_113-ellen internal suffering ( terror for [Edward]_76-edward seemed to endow [her]_113-ellen with additional self command ) , except by a deadly paleness , which even [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} at length remarked . It was quite evening , and the party were all scattered , when [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} discovered [Ellen]_113-ellen sitting in one of the deep recesses of the windows : [her]_113-ellen work in [her]_113-ellen lap , [her]_113-ellen hands clasped tightly together , and [her]_113-ellen eyes fixed on the beautiful scenery of [the park]_{4069-the park} , but not seeing a single object . "_[0-i] [[My]_0-i dear]_{3485-my dear} [Ellen]_113-ellen , [I]_0-i am going to scold [you]_113-ellen , so prepare , " was [[her]_0-i aunt]_{367-her aunt} 's lively address , as [she]_0-i approached and stood by [her]_113-ellen . "_[0-i] [You]_113-ellen need not start so guiltily and look so very terrified , but confess that [you]_113-ellen are thinking about [Edward]_76-edward , and worrying [yourself]_113-ellen that [he]_76-edward is not quite so strong as [he]_76-edward was , and magnifying [his]_76-edward wound , till [you]_113-ellen fancy it something very dreadful , when , [I]_0-i dare say , if the truth were told , [he]_76-edward [himself]_76-edward is quite proud of it ; come confess , and [I]_0-i will only give [you]_113-ellen a very little lecture , for [your]_113-ellen excessive silliness . " [Ellen]_113-ellen looked up in [her]_113-ellen face ; that kind voice , that affectionate smile , that caressing , constantly - forgiving love , would [they]_5664-they again all be forfeited , again give way to coldness , loss of confidence , heightened displeasure ? How indeed [she]_113-ellen was to act , [she]_113-ellen knew not ; [she]_113-ellen only knew there must be concealment , the very anticipation of which , seemed too terrible to bear , and [she]_113-ellen burst into an agony of tears . "_[0-i] Why , [Ellen]_113-ellen — [[my]_0-i dear child]_{1285-my dear child} — [you]_113-ellen can not be well , to let either the accounts of [[your]_113-ellen brother]_{3473-your brother} , or [my]_0-i threatened scolding , so affect [you]_113-ellen , and on [your]_113-ellen birthday , too ! Why , [all the old women]_{1986-all the old women} would say it was such a bad omen , that [you]_113-ellen would be unhappy all the year round . Come , this will never do , [I]_0-i must lecture , in earnest , if [you]_113-ellen do not try to conquer this unusual weakness . [We]_1987-we have much more to be thankful for , in [Sir Edward]_76-edward 's account of [[our]_1987-we dear sailor]_{1969-our dear sailor} , than to cry about ; [he]_76-edward might have been seriously wounded or maimed , and what would [you]_113-ellen have felt then ? [I]_0-i wonder if [he]_76-edward will find as much change in [you]_113-ellen as [we]_1987-we shall in [him]_76-edward . If [you]_113-ellen are not quite strong and quite well , and quite happy to greet [him]_76-edward when [he]_76-edward comes , [I]_0-i shall consider [my]_0-i care insulted , and punish [you]_113-ellen accordingly . Still no smile . What is the matter , [dearest]_861-dearest ? Are [you]_113-ellen really not well again ? " [Ellen]_113-ellen made a desperate effort , conquered [her]_113-ellen tears , and tried to converse cheerfully . It was absolute agony to hear [Edward]_76-edward 's name , but [she]_113-ellen nerved [herself]_113-ellen to do so , to acknowledge [she]_113-ellen was thinking of [him]_76-edward ; and that it was very silly to worry about such a slight wound : and when [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} proposed that [they]_5665-they should walk over to [Greville Manor]_{30-greville manor} , and tell the good news to [Mrs. Greville]_{140-mrs. greville} and [Mary]_143-mary , acquiesced with apparent pleasure . "_[3420-mamma] Ah , do , [mamma]_3420-mamma : [you]_3420-mamma have not asked [me]_0-i , but [I]_0-i shall go notwithstanding , " exclaimed [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , springing through the open window , with [her]_78-emmeline usual airy step . "_[0-i] Why , [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , [I]_0-i thought [you]_78-emmeline were going to [the village]_{257-the village} with [[your]_78-emmeline sister]_{1110-your sister} ! " "_{[1110-your sister]} No ; [she]_{1110-your sister} and [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} were talking much too soberly to suit [me]_0-i this evening . Then [I]_0-i went to tease [papa]_160-papa but [he]_160-papa let [me]_0-i do just what [I]_0-i pleased , being too engrossed with [some disagreeable farmers]_{1993-some disagreeable farmers} , to notice [me]_0-i , so in despair [I]_0-i came [here]_3850-here . Why , [Ellen]_113-ellen , [you]_113-ellen look as if this were any day but what it is ; unless [you]_113-ellen cry because [you]_113-ellen are getting old , which [I]_0-i am very often inclined to do ; only think , [I]_0-i am sixteen next December — how dreadful ! [I]_0-i do wish [my]_0-i birthday were in June . " "_[0-i] And what difference would that make ? " "_[3420-mamma] A great deal , [mamma]_3420-mamma ; only look how lovely every thing is now ; nature is quite juvenile , and has dressed [herself]_1996-herself in so many colors , and seems to promise so many more beauties , that , whether [we]_1997-we will or no , [we]_1997-we must feel gay and young ; but in December , though it is very delightful in [the house]_{3775-the house} , it is so drear and withered , without , that if born in such a season , [one]_1058-one must feel withered too . " "_[3420-mamma] When do [you]_3420-mamma intend to speak in prose , [Emmeline]_78-emmeline ? " "_[3420-mamma] Never , if [I]_0-i can help it [mamma]_3420-mamma ; but [I]_0-i must learn the lesson before [I]_0-i go to [London]_13-london , [I]_0-i suppose ; that horrid [London]_13-london ! that is one reason why [I]_0-i regret the years going so fast ; [I]_0-i know [I]_0-i shall leave all [my]_0-i happiness here . " "_[3420-mamma] [You]_3420-mamma will be more ungrateful , than [I]_0-i believe [you]_3420-mamma , if [you]_3420-mamma do , " replied [[her]_3420-mamma mother]_{345-her mother} . "_[3420-mamma] So pray banish such foolish fancies as fast as [you]_3420-mamma can ; for if [you]_3420-mamma encourage [them]_2001-them , [I]_0-i shall certainly suppose that it is only [Oakwood]_12-oakwood [you]_3420-mamma love ; and that neither [[your]_3420-mamma father]_{3470-your father} nor [myself]_0-i , nor [any member of [[your]_3420-mamma family]_{1051-your family}]_{2003-any member of your family} , has any part in [your]_3420-mamma affections , for [we]_2005-we shall be with [you]_3420-mamma , wherever [you]_3420-mamma are . " "_{[3422-dear mamma]} [Dear mamma]_{3422-dear mamma} , [I]_0-i spoke at random , forgive [me]_0-i , " replied [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , instantly self - reproached . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i am indeed [the giddy brain papa]_{2007-the giddy brain papa} calls [me]_0-i ; but [you]_{3422-dear mamma} can not tell how [I]_0-i love [this dear old home]_{2008-this dear old home} . " "_[0-i] Indeed [I]_0-i think [I]_0-i can , [[my]_0-i dear child]_{1285-my dear child} , loving it as [I]_0-i do [myself]_0-i ; but come , [we]_2005-we shall have no time for [our]_2005-we visit , if [we]_2005-we do not go at once . " Days passed , and were each followed by such sleepless feverish nights , that [Ellen]_113-ellen felt it almost a miracle , that [she]_113-ellen could so seem , so act , as to excite no notice . The image of [[her]_113-ellen dying mother]_{5659-her dying mother} never left [her]_113-ellen , night or day , mingled with the horrid scene of [[her]_113-ellen father]_{435-her father} 's death , and [Edward]_76-edward disgraced , expelled , and seeking death by [his]_76-edward own hand . There was only one plan that seemed in the least feasible , and that was to send to [him]_76-edward , or sell [herself]_113-ellen the watch [she]_113-ellen had received on [her]_113-ellen birthday , and if that was not enough , some few trinkets , which had been [[her]_113-ellen mother]_{345-her mother} 's , and which the last six months [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} had given into [her]_113-ellen own care . [She]_113-ellen ventured casually to inquire if there were any opportunity of sending a parcel to [Edward]_76-edward , but the answer was in the negative , and increased [her]_113-ellen difficulty . [The only person [she]_113-ellen dared even to think of so far intrusting with [her]_113-ellen deep distress and anxiety for money , but not its cause]_{5671-the only person she dared even to think of so far intrusting with her deep distress and anxiety for money , but not its cause} , was [widow Langford]_{204-mrs. langford} , [the mother of [Robert]_197-harding ( [the young gentlemen]_{5673-the young gentlemen} 's attendant , whom [we]_5674-we have had occasion more than once to mention]_{5672-the mother of robert ( the young gentlemen 's attendant , whom we have had occasion more than once to mention} , and [the former nurse of all [Mr.]_5676-mr. and [[Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's children]_{5677-mrs. hamilton 's children}]_{5675-the former nurse of all mr. and mrs. hamilton 's children} ) . [She]_113-ellen occupied [a cottage on [the outskirts of [the park]_{4069-the park}]_{5679-the outskirts of the park}]_{5678-a cottage on the outskirts of the park} , and was not only a favorite with [all the young party]_{5393-all the young party} , [Ellen]_113-ellen included ( for [she]_113-ellen generally came to nurse [her]_113-ellen in [her]_113-ellen many illnesses ) , but was regarded with the greatest confidence and affection by [Mr.]_5682-mr. and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} [themselves]_{5393-all the young party} . [They]_{5393-all the young party} had endeavored to return [her]_113-ellen unwavering fidelity and active service , by taking [[her]_113-ellen only child]_{5683-her only child} [Robert]_197-harding into [[their]_{5393-all the young party} family]_{5684-their family} , when only seven ; placing [him]_197-harding under the immediate charge of [Morris]_134-morris , [the steward]_{5685-the steward} , and of course living in [the same house]_{5686-the same house} , of [[his]_197-harding mother]_{330-his mother} also ; and when fifteen , making [him]_197-harding [personal attendant to [Percy]_150-percy and [Herbert]_197-harding , who were then about ten and eleven years old]_{5688-personal attendant to percy and herbert , who were then about ten and eleven years old} . [An older and more experienced domestic]_{5689-an older and more experienced domestic} had , however , accompanied [the young men]_{4058-the young men} to [college]_5691-college , and [Robert]_197-harding remained employed in many little confidential services for [[his]_197-harding master]_{5692-his master} at [Oakwood]_12-oakwood . To [widow Langford]_{204-mrs. langford} , [Ellen]_113-ellen tried to resolve that [she]_113-ellen would apply , but [her]_113-ellen fearful state of mental agony had not marked the lapse of time , or had caused [her]_113-ellen to forget that [her]_113-ellen letter must be ready in a week . [The party]_{4232-the party} were all going a delightful excursion , and to drink tea at [Greville Manor]_{30-greville manor} , so that [they]_{4232-the party} would not be [home]_563-home till quite late ; but in the morning , [Ellen]_113-ellen , though [she]_113-ellen had dressed for going out , appeared to have every symptom of such a violent headache , that [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} advised [her]_113-ellen remaining quietly at [home]_563-home , and [she]_113-ellen assented with eagerness , refusing every offer of companionship , saying if the pain went off , [she]_113-ellen could quite amuse [herself]_113-ellen , and if it continued , quietness and [Ellis]_135-ellis 's nursing were the best things for [her]_113-ellen . "_[113-ellen] But give [me]_0-i [your]_2010-you letter before [we]_2011-we go out , [Ellen]_113-ellen , [I]_0-i am only waiting for it , to close [mine]_0-i to [Sir Edward]_76-edward . Why , [[my]_0-i dear]_{3485-my dear} , have [you]_2010-you forgotten [I]_0-i told [you]_2010-you it must be ready by to - day ? " [[her]_113-ellen uncle]_{519-her uncle} added , surprised at [her]_113-ellen exclamation that [she]_113-ellen had not finished it . "_[0-i] It must be done and sent to T — , before four to - day , so [I]_0-i do hope [your]_2010-you head will allow [you]_2010-you to write , for [Edward]_76-edward will be woefully disappointed if there be not a line from [you]_2010-you , especially as , from [[his]_76-edward ship]_{5385-his ship} cruising about , it may be several weeks before [he]_76-edward can hear again . [I]_0-i must leave [my]_0-i letter with [you]_2010-you , to inclose [Edward]_76-edward 's and seal up , and pray see that it goes in time . " [Ellen]_113-ellen tried to promise that it should , but [her]_113-ellen tongue actually clove to the roof of [her]_113-ellen mouth ; but all the party dispersing at the moment , [her]_113-ellen silence was unnoticed . [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} gave [her]_113-ellen [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} letter , and in half an hour afterward [she]_113-ellen was alone . [She]_113-ellen sat for nearly an hour in [[her]_113-ellen own room]_{4399-her own room} , with [her]_113-ellen desk before [her]_113-ellen , [her]_113-ellen face buried in [her]_113-ellen hands , and [her]_113-ellen whole frame shaking as with an ague . "_[0-i] It must be , " [she]_113-ellen said at length , and unlocking a drawer , took thence a small cross , and one or two other trinkets , put them up , and taking off [her]_113-ellen watch , looked at it with such an expression of suffering , that it seemed as if [she]_113-ellen could not go on , carefully folded it up with the other trinkets , and murmuring , "_[0-i] If [nurse Langford]_{204-mrs. langford} will but take these , and lend [me]_0-i the twenty pounds till [she]_{204-mrs. langford} can dispose of them , [I]_0-i may save [him]_2014-him yet — and if [she]_{204-mrs. langford} betray [me]_0-i — if [she]_{204-mrs. langford} tell [[my]_0-i aunt]_{3424-my aunt} afterward , at least only [I]_0-i shall suffer ; [they]_2016-they will not suspect [him]_2014-him . But oh — to lose — to be doubted , hated , which [I]_0-i must be at last . Oh , [mother]_3430-mother ! [mother]_3430-mother ! Why may [I]_0-i not tell [[my]_0-i aunt]_{3424-my aunt} ? [she]_{3424-my aunt} would not disgrace [him]_2014-him . " And again [she]_0-i crouched down , cowed by that fearful struggle to [the very earth]_{5699-the very earth} . After a few minutes , it passed , and deliberately putting on [her]_0-i bonnet and shawl , [she]_0-i took up [her]_0-i trinkets , and set off to [[the widow]_{477-the widow} 's cottage]_{5701-the widow 's cottage} , [her]_0-i limbs so trembling , that [she]_0-i knew not how [she]_0-i should accomplish even that short walk . The wind was unusually high , although the day was otherwise lovely , and [she]_0-i was scarcely able to stand against the strong breeze , especially as every breath seemed to increase the pain in [her]_0-i temples ; but [she]_0-i persisted . [The nearest path]_{5702-the nearest path} lay through a thick shrubbery , almost a wood , which [the family]_{3915-the family} never used , and , in fact , [the younger members]_{5346-the younger members} were prohibited from taking , but secrecy and haste were all which at that moment entered [Ellen]_113-ellen 's mind . [She]_0-i felt so exhausted by the wind blowing the branches and leaves noisily and confusedly around , that on reaching [a sort of grassy glade , more open than [her]_0-i previous path]_{5705-a sort of grassy glade , more open than her previous path} , [she]_0-i sat down a minute on a mossy stone . The wind blew some withered sticks and leaves toward [her]_0-i , and , among them , two or three soiled pieces of thin paper , stained with damp , one of which [she]_0-i raised mechanically , and started up with a wild cry , and seized the others almost unconsciously . [She]_0-i pressed [her]_0-i hands over [her]_0-i eyes , and [her]_0-i lips moved in the utterance of thanksgiving . "_{[3424-my aunt]} [Saved!—Edward]_{205-saved!—edward} and [myself]_0-i , [too!—some guardian angel]_{2020-too!—some guardian angel} must have sent [them]_2021-them ! " if not actually spoken , were so distinctly uttered in [her]_0-i heart , that [she]_0-i thought [she]_0-i heard them ; and [she]_0-i retraced [her]_0-i steps , so swiftly — so gladly , the very pain and exhaustion were unfelt . [She]_0-i wrote for half an hour intently — eagerly ; though that which [she]_0-i wrote [she]_0-i knew not [herself]_0-i , and never could recall . [She]_0-i took from the secret drawer of [her]_0-i desk ( [that secret drawer which , when [Percy]_150-percy had so laughingly showed [her]_0-i the secret of its spring]_{5706-that secret drawer which , when percy had so laughingly showed her the secret of its spring} , telling [her]_0-i nobody but [himself]_150-percy knew it , [she]_0-i little thought [she]_0-i should have occasion so to use ) , some bank notes , of two , three , and five pounds each , making the fifteen [she]_0-i had so carefully hoarded , and placed with [them]_2021-them the two [she]_0-i had found . As [she]_0-i did so , [she]_0-i discovered that two had clung so closely together that the sum was five pounds more than [she]_0-i wanted . Still , as acting under the influence of some spell , [she]_0-i carelessly put one aside , sealed up the packet to [Edward]_76-edward , inclosed it in [[her]_0-i uncle]_{519-her uncle} 's to [Sir Edward Manly]_76-edward , and dispatched it full four hours before the hour [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had named . It was gone ; and [she]_0-i sat down to breathe . Some impulse , never experienced before , urged [her]_0-i , instead of destroying [Edward]_76-edward 's desperate letter , as [she]_0-i had done similar appeals , to retain it in a blank envelop in that same secret drawer . As [she]_0-i tried to rouse [herself]_0-i from a sort of stupor which was strangely creeping over [her]_0-i , [her]_0-i eye caught the five pound note which [she]_0-i had not had occasion to use , and a thought of such overwhelming wretchedness rushed upon [her]_0-i , as effectually , for the moment , to disperse that stupor , and prostrate [her]_0-i in an agony of supplication before [[her]_0-i God]_{5369-her god} . "_{[2020-too!—some guardian angel]} What have [I]_0-i done?"—if [her]_0-i almost maddening thoughts could have found words , such they would have been—"How_[0-i] dared [I]_0-i appropriate that money , without one question — one thought — as to whom it could belong ? Sent [me]_0-i ? No , no ! Who could have sent it ? [Great God of Mercy]_{2022-great god of mercy} ! Oh , if [Thy]_{2022-great god of mercy} wrath must fall on [a guilty one]_{2023-a guilty one} , pour it on [me]_0-i , but spare , spare [[my]_0-i brother]_{1247-my brother} ! [I]_0-i have sinned , but [I]_0-i meant it not — thought not of it — knew not what [I]_0-i did ! [Thou]_2025-thou knowest , [Thou]_2025-thou alone canst know , the only thought of that moment — the agony of this . No suffering , no wrath , can be too great for [me]_0-i ; but , oh ! spare [him]_{1247-my brother} ! " How long that withering agony lasted , [Ellen]_113-ellen knew not , nor whether [her]_113-ellen tears fell , or lay scorching [her]_113-ellen eyes and heart . The note lay before [her]_113-ellen like some hideous specter , from which [she]_113-ellen vainly tried to turn . What could [she]_113-ellen do with it ? Take it back to the spot where the others had been blown to [her]_113-ellen ? [She]_113-ellen tried to rise to do so ; but , to [her]_113-ellen own terror , [she]_113-ellen found [she]_113-ellen was so powerless , that [she]_113-ellen actually could not walk . With desperate calmness [she]_113-ellen placed it in the little secret drawer , put up the remainder of [her]_113-ellen papers , closed and locked [her]_113-ellen desk , and laid down upon [her]_113-ellen bed , for [she]_113-ellen could sit up no longer . [Ellis]_135-ellis came to [her]_113-ellen with an inquiry after [her]_113-ellen head , and if [she]_113-ellen could take [her]_113-ellen dinner . [Ellen]_113-ellen asked for a cup of coffee , and to be left quite quiet instead , as writing had not decreased the pain ; and [the housekeeper , accustomed to such casual attacks]_{5709-the housekeeper , accustomed to such casual attacks} , did as [she]_113-ellen was requested , and came frequently to see [her]_113-ellen in the course of the afternoon and evening ; still without perceiving any thing unusual , and , therefore , not tormenting [her]_113-ellen with any expression of surprise or anxiety . Thought after thought congregated in [the poor girl]_{4361-the poor girl} 's mind , as [she]_113-ellen thus lay ; so fraught with agony that the physical suffering , which was far more than usual , was unfelt , save in its paralyzing effect on every limb . [Her]_113-ellen impulse was to confess exactly what [she]_113-ellen had done to [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} , the moment [she]_113-ellen should see [her]_{367-her aunt} , and conjure [her]_{367-her aunt} to sentence [her]_{367-her aunt} to some heavy chastisement , that must deaden [her]_113-ellen present agony ; but this was impossible without betraying [Edward]_76-edward , and nullifying for [him]_76-edward the relief [she]_113-ellen had sent . How could [she]_113-ellen confess the sin , without the full confession of the use to which that money had been applied ? Whose were the notes ? They were stained with damp , as if they must have lain among those withered leaves some time ; and yet [she]_113-ellen had heard no inquiry made about them , as the loss of so large a sum would surely have demanded . The only plan [she]_113-ellen could think of , as bringing the least hope of returning peace , was still to beseech [Mrs. Langford]_{204-mrs. langford} to dispose of [her]_{204-mrs. langford} watch and trinkets , and the very first mention [she]_113-ellen heard made of the loss to return the full sum to [the real possessor]_{5712-the real possessor} , if possible , so secretly as for it not to be traced to [herself]_113-ellen . [She]_113-ellen thought , too , that if [she]_113-ellen gave [her]_113-ellen trinkets , one by one , not all together , to [Mrs. Langford]_{204-mrs. langford} , it would be less suspicious , and , perhaps , more easily prevail on [her]_113-ellen to grant [her]_113-ellen secrecy and assistance ; and if [she]_113-ellen positively refused , unless [Ellen]_113-ellen revealed the reason of [her]_113-ellen desiring [their]_5713-their disposal , and would solemnly promise secrecy , [she]_113-ellen would tell [her]_113-ellen so much of [her]_113-ellen intense misery , as might perhaps induce [her]_113-ellen to give [her]_113-ellen aid . If [she]_113-ellen did not demand the reason and betrayed [her]_113-ellen , [she]_113-ellen must endure the doubt and serious displeasure such a course of acting on [her]_113-ellen part would inevitably produce ; but two things alone stood clear before [her]_113-ellen : [she]_113-ellen must replace that money — [she]_113-ellen must keep [Edward]_76-edward 's secret . [She]_113-ellen would have gone that very day to [Mrs. Langford]_{204-mrs. langford} , but [she]_113-ellen could not move , and [Ellis]_135-ellis , at seven o'clock , prevailed on [her]_113-ellen to undress and go to bed . "_[113-ellen] Not better , [[my]_0-i [Ellen]_113-ellen]_{1128-my ellen} ? [I]_0-i hoped to - day 's perfect quietness would have removed [your]_113-ellen headache , and am quite disappointed , " was [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's affectionate address , as [she]_0-i softly entered [[[her]_0-i niece]_{372-her niece} 's room]_{5715-her niece 's room} , on the return of the happy party at eleven at night , and placing the lamp so that the bed remained in shade [she]_0-i could not see any expression in [Ellen]_113-ellen 's face , except that of suffering , which [she]_0-i naturally attributed to physical pain . "_[0-i] How hot [your]_113-ellen hands and face are , love ; [I]_0-i wish [you]_113-ellen had not left [Edward]_76-edward 's letter to write to - day . [I]_0-i am afraid [we]_2027-we shall be obliged to see [Mr. Maitland]_{154-mr. maitland} 's face again to - morrow ; if [he]_{154-mr. maitland} were not as kind [a friend]_{1440-a friend} as [he]_{154-mr. maitland} is [a skillful doctor]_{2029-a skillful doctor} , [I]_0-i am sure [you]_113-ellen would get quite tired of [him]_{154-mr. maitland} , [Ellen]_113-ellen . Shall [I]_0-i stay with [you]_113-ellen ? [I]_0-i can not bear leaving [you]_113-ellen in pain and alone ! " But [Ellen]_113-ellen would not hear of it ; the pain was not more than [she]_113-ellen was often accustomed to , [she]_113-ellen said , and , indeed , [she]_113-ellen did not mind being alone — though the unusual , almost passionate , warmth with which [she]_113-ellen returned [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's fond kiss betrayed it was no indifference to the affectionate offer which dictated [her]_113-ellen refusal . It was well [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , though anxious enough to feel the inclination to do so , did not visit [[her]_113-ellen niece]_{372-her niece} again , or the convulsive agony [she]_113-ellen would have witnessed , the choking sobs which burst forth , a few minutes after [she]_113-ellen disappeared from [Ellen]_113-ellen 's sight , would have bewildered and terrified [her]_113-ellen yet more . [Mr. Maitland]_{154-mr. maitland} declared [Ellen]_113-ellen to be ill of a nervous fever which for three days confined [her]_113-ellen to [her]_113-ellen bed , and left [her]_113-ellen very weak for some little time , and so nervous that the least thing seemed to startle [her]_113-ellen ; but , as [he]_{154-mr. maitland} said it was no consequence , and [she]_113-ellen would soon recover , [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} adopted [his]_{154-mr. maitland} advice , took no notice of it , and only endeavored to make [[her]_113-ellen niece]_{372-her niece} 's daily routine as varied in employment , though regular in hours and undisturbed in quiet , as [she]_113-ellen could . Perhaps [she]_113-ellen would have felt more anxious , and discovered something not quite usual in [Ellen]_113-ellen 's manner , if [her]_113-ellen thoughts had not been painfully pre - occupied . About a week after [their]_5718-their excursion [she]_113-ellen entered [the library]_{3958-the library} earlier than usual , and found [[her]_113-ellen husband]_{340-her husband} intently engaged with some dispatches just received . [She]_113-ellen saw [he]_{340-her husband} was more than ordinarily disturbed , and hesitated a moment whether to address [him]_{340-her husband} ; but [he]_{340-her husband} was seldom so engrossed as to be unconscious of the presence of [[his]_{340-her husband} wife]_{521-his wife} . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i am really glad [you]_2030-you are here at this moment , [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , for [I]_0-i actually was weak enough to shrink from seeking [you]_2030-you with unpleasant news . Letters from [Feroe]_54-feroe have at length arrived , and [my]_0-i personal presence is so imperatively needed , that [I]_0-i am self - reproached at not going before ; the long silence ought to have convinced [me]_0-i that all was not as it should be . " "_{[84-arthur hamilton]} But what has occurred , [Arthur]_{84-arthur hamilton} ? [I]_0-i had no idea [you]_{84-arthur hamilton} contemplated the necessity of going , " replied [[his]_{340-her husband} wife]_{521-his wife} very quietly , as [she]_0-i sat down close by [him]_{340-her husband} ; but the fiat of separation , the thoughts of a perilous voyage , a visit to [an almost desolate island]_{5723-an almost desolate island} , and the impossibility of receiving regular letters , so crowded upon [her]_0-i all at once , that it was a strong effort to speak at all . "_{[84-arthur hamilton]} No , [dearest]_861-dearest ; for what was the use of tormenting [you]_2030-you with disagreeable anticipations , when there really might have been no foundation for them . The last accounts from [Samboe]_53-samboe , were , as [you]_2030-you know , received nearly two years ago , telling [me]_0-i that [Frederic Wilson]_{180-frederic wilson} was dead , but that [[his]_{180-frederic wilson} son]_{514-his son} had been received as [[his]_{180-frederic wilson} successor in [the ministry]_{4797-the ministry}]_{2033-his successor in the ministry} , and as [civil guardian of [the island]_{5594-the island}]_{2035-civil guardian of the island} , with if possible , a still greater degree of popularity than [[his]_{180-frederic wilson} predecessors]_{5621-his predecessors} , from [his]_{180-frederic wilson} having been educated in [Denmark]_44-denmark . [[His]_{180-frederic wilson} parents]_{3895-his parents} had lived on straitened means to give [him]_{180-frederic wilson} superior advantages , which , as it proves , [he]_{180-frederic wilson} would have been much better without . The vices [he]_{180-frederic wilson} has acquired have far outrun the advantages . [His]_{180-frederic wilson} example , and that of [a band of idle , irregular spirits who have joined [him]_{180-frederic wilson}]_{2039-a band of idle , irregular spirits who have joined him} , has not only scandalized [the simple people]_{5623-the simple people} but disturbed [[their]_{5623-the simple people} homesteads]_{2041-their homesteads} , brought contention and misery , and in some cases , bloodshed ; so that in point of social and domestic position , [I]_0-i fear [they]_{5623-the simple people} have sunk lower than when [[my]_0-i grandfather]_{2042-my grandfather} first sought [the island]_{5594-the island} . [The mother of [this unhappy young man]_{2045-this unhappy young man}]_{2044-the mother of this unhappy young man} has , naturally , perhaps , but weakly , shrunk from informing against [him]_{180-frederic wilson} ; but [[her]_{2044-the mother of this unhappy young man} brother]_{384-her brother} , [the clergyman of [Osteroe]_59-osteroe]_{2047-the clergyman of osteroe} , has at length taken upon [himself]_{384-her brother} to do so , clearly stating that nothing but personal interference and some months ' residence among [them]_{5623-the simple people} will effect a reformation ; and that the ruin is more to be regretted , as [the little island]_{5586-the little island} has been for more than half a century the admiration not only of [[its]_{5586-the little island} immediate neighbors]_{2049-its immediate neighbors} , but of [all who have chanced to harbor off [[its]_{5586-the little island} coast]_{2051-its coast}]_{2050-all who have chanced to harbor off its coast} . [He]_{384-her brother} states , too , that if properly directed and not exposed to the contagion of [large cities]_{2052-large cities} , as [[his]_{384-her brother} brother]_{715-his brother} has been , [poor [Wilson]_{180-frederic wilson} 's younger son]_{2054-poor wilson 's younger son} , now [a boy of eleven]_{2055-a boy of eleven} , may become [us]_2056-us worthy and judicious a pastor as [[his]_{2054-poor wilson 's younger son} father]_{406-his father} and [grandfather]_{5625-grandfather} , and so keep the office in [[his]_{2054-poor wilson 's younger son} family]_{4086-his family} , as [[my]_0-i grandfather]_{2042-my grandfather} was so desirous of doing . The question is , how is [this boy]_{2061-this boy} to be educated on [the island]_{5594-the island} , and whom can [I]_0-i find to take the ministry meanwhile . " "_[0-i] And must [[your]_0-i own residence]_{2063-your own residence} there be very long ? " inquired [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , still in that quiet tone , but [her]_0-i lip quivered . "_[0-i] It depends entirely on whom [I]_0-i can get to accompany [me]_0-i , [dearest]_861-dearest . [I]_0-i must set [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} and [Morton]_{162-mr. morton} to work to find [me]_0-i [some simple - minded , single - hearted individual , who will regard this undertaking in the same missionary spirit as [the elder Wilson]_{180-frederic wilson}]_{2065-some simple - minded , single - hearted individual , who will regard this undertaking in the same missionary spirit as the elder wilson} did . If [I]_0-i am happy enough to succeed in this , [I]_0-i hope a year , or somewhat less , will be the farthest limit of [our]_2066-our separation . " "_[0-i] A year ! a whole long year — [dearest Arthur]_{84-arthur hamilton} , must it be so very , very long ? " "_[0-i] Who tried to persuade [Ellen]_113-ellen , a fortnight ago , that a year , even two years , would pass so very quickly ? " replied [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} trying to smile , and folding [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} arm fondly round [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} wife]_{521-his wife} , [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} kissed the cheek which had become pale from the effort to restrain [her]_{521-his wife} feelings . "_[0-i] It is indeed an unexpected and a painful trial , and , as is generally the case with [[our]_2066-our rebellious spirits]_{2067-our rebellious spirits} , [I]_0-i feel as if it would have been better borne at any other period than the present . [We]_2066-our had so portioned out this year , had so anticipated gratifying [Caroline]_120-caroline by introducing [her]_120-caroline to the so long and so eagerly anticipated pleasures of [London]_13-london next January , that [I]_0-i can not bear to think of [her]_120-caroline disappointment . " "_{[2068-our boys]} And [[our]_2066-our boys]_{2068-our boys} , too , [they]_{2068-our boys} say it is so strange to be without [[their]_{2068-our boys} father]_{965-their father} , even in college term ; what will it be when [they]_{2068-our boys} come [home]_563-home for the long vacation , to which [we]_2066-our have all so looked forward ? But this is all weakness , [[my]_0-i own dear husband]_{2071-my own dear husband} ; forgive [me]_0-i , [I]_0-i am only rendering [your]_{2071-my own dear husband} duty more difficult , " [she]_0-i added , raising [her]_0-i head from [his]_{2071-my own dear husband} shoulder , and smiling cheerfully , even while the tears glistened in [her]_0-i eyes . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i must try and practice [my]_0-i own lesson , and believe the term of separation will really pass quickly , interminable as it now seems . [We]_2066-our have been so blessed , so guarded from the bitter pang of even partial separation for twenty years , that how dare [I]_0-i murmur now the trial has come ? It is [God]_85-god 's pleasure , dearest [Arthur]_{84-arthur hamilton} , though it seems like the work of [man]_1176-man , and as [His]_1176-man [we]_2066-our can endure it . " "_[0-i] Bless [you]_0-i , [[my]_0-i beloved]_{2073-my beloved} ! [you]_0-i have indeed put a new spirit in [me]_0-i by those words , " replied [[her]_0-i husband]_{340-her husband} , with a fondness , the more intense from the actual veneration that so largely mingled with it . "_[0-i] And bitter disappointment as it is to [me]_0-i to be from [home]_563-home when [[our]_2066-our sons]_{2075-our sons} return , it is better so , perhaps , for [their]_{2075-our sons} company will wile away at least nearly three months of [my]_0-i absence . " [Mr.]_5726-mr. and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} remained some hours together that morning in earnest conversation . All of individual regret was conquered for the sake of the other : its expression , at least , not its feeling ; but [they]_2066-our understood [each other]_{938-each other} too well , too fondly , to need words or complaints to prove to either how intensely painful was the very thought of separation . To elude the performance of a duty which [many persons , unable to enter into the hope of effecting good]_{5728-many persons , unable to enter into the hope of effecting good} , would , no doubt , pronounce Quixotic — for what could [the poor inhabitants of [Samboe]_53-samboe]_{5729-the poor inhabitants of samboe} be to [him?—never]_{5730-him?—never} entered either [Mr.]_5731-mr. or [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's mind . [He]_{340-her husband} was not one to neglect [his]_{340-her husband} immediate duties for [distant ones]_{5732-distant ones} ; but believed and acted on the belief , that both could be united . [[His]_{340-her husband} own large estate]_{5733-his own large estate} , [its]_{5733-his own large estate} various farms , [parishes]_{5734-parishes} , and [villages]_{5735-villages} , were so admirably ordered , that [he]_{340-her husband} could leave [it]_{5733-his own large estate} without the smallest scruple in the hands of [[his]_{340-her husband} wife]_{521-his wife} and [steward]_595-steward . Though interested in , and actually assisting in the political movements of [[his]_{340-her husband} country]_{4036-his country} , [he]_{340-her husband} was still , as from [his]_{340-her husband} youth [he]_{340-her husband} had firmly resolved to be , [a free , independent Englishman]_{5739-a free , independent englishman} ; bound to [no party]_{5740-no party} , but respected by [all]_4750-all ; retaining [his]_{340-her husband} own principles unshaken as a rock , though often and often [his]_{340-her husband} integrity had been tried by court bribes and dazzling offers . And yet , rare blending with such individual feelings , [Arthur Hamilton]_{84-arthur hamilton} looked with candor and kindness on the conduct and principles of [others]_756-others , however they might differ from [his]_{84-arthur hamilton} own , and found excuses for [them]_756-others , which [none others]_{5743-none others} could . That [he]_{84-arthur hamilton} should give up all the comforts , the luxuries , the delights of [[his]_{84-arthur hamilton} peculiarly happy home]_{5744-his peculiarly happy home} , to encounter several months ' sojourn in [a bleak , half - civilized island]_{5745-a bleak , half - civilized island} , only in the hope of restoring and insuring moral and religious improvement to [a small colony of [human beings]_{5747-human beings}]_{5746-a small colony of human beings} , whose sole claim upon [him]_{84-arthur hamilton} was , that [they]_{5747-human beings} were immortal as [himself]_{84-arthur hamilton} , and that [they]_{5747-human beings} had done a kindness to [[his]_{84-arthur hamilton} grandfather]_{5748-his grandfather} more than half a century back , was likely to , and no doubt did , excite the utmost astonishment in very many circles ; but not a sneer , not a word seeming to whisper good should be done at [home]_563-home before sought abroad , could find a moment 's resting - place near [Arthur Hamilton]_{84-arthur hamilton} 's name . For half an hour after [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} quitted [[her]_5750-she husband]_{340-her husband} [she]_5750-she remained alone , and when [she]_5750-she rejoined [[her]_5750-she family]_{800-her family} , though [she]_5750-she might have been a shade paler than [her]_5750-she wo nt , [she]_5750-she was as cheerful in conversation and earnest in manner as usual . That evening [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} informed [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} children]_{4082-his children} and [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} of [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} intended departure , and consequent compelled change of plan . [Emmeline]_78-emmeline 's burst of sorrow was violent and uncontrolled . [Caroline]_120-caroline looked for a minute quite bewildered , and then hastening to [[her]_120-caroline father]_{435-her father} threw one arm round [his]_{435-her father} neck , exclaiming , in a voice of the most affectionate sincerity , "_{[845-dear papa]} [Dear papa]_{845-dear papa} , what shall [we]_2077-we do without [you]_{845-dear papa} for such a long time ? " "_{[1285-my dear child]} [[My]_0-i dear child]_{1285-my dear child} ! [I]_0-i thank [you]_{1285-my dear child} for such an affectionate thought ; believe [me]_0-i , the idea of [your]_{1285-my dear child} wishes being postponed has pained [me]_0-i as much as any thing else in this unpleasant duty . " "_[0-i] [My]_0-i wishes postponed , [papa]_3546-papa — what do [you]_3546-papa mean ? " "_[3546-papa] Have [you]_{1285-my dear child} quite forgotten [our]_2077-we intended plans for next January , [[my]_0-i love]_{3456-my love} ? [My]_0-i absence must alter them . " For a moment an expression of bitter disappointment clouded [Caroline]_120-caroline 's open countenance . "_[3546-papa] Indeed , [papa]_3546-papa , [I]_0-i had forgotten it ; [I]_0-i only thought of [your]_3546-papa going away for so many months . It is a great disappointment , [I]_0-i own , and [I]_0-i dare say [I]_0-i shall feel it still more when January comes ; but [I]_0-i am sure parting from [you]_3546-papa must be a still greater trial to [mamma]_3420-mamma , than any such disappointment ought to be to [me]_0-i ; and , indeed , [I]_0-i will try and bear it as uncomplainingly and cheerfully as [she]_3420-mamma does . " [[Her]_120-caroline father]_{435-her father} almost involuntarily drew [her]_120-caroline to [his]_{435-her father} heart , and kissed [her]_120-caroline two or three times , without speaking ; and [Caroline]_120-caroline was very glad [he]_{435-her father} did so , for when [she]_120-caroline looked up again , the tears that would come at the first thought of [her]_120-caroline disappointment were bravely sent back again ; and [she]_120-caroline tried to cheer [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , by assuring [her]_78-emmeline [she]_78-emmeline never could be like [her]_78-emmeline favorite heroines of romance , if [she]_78-emmeline behaved so very much like [a child]_{265-a child} ; taking the opportunity when [they]_2084-us retired for the night , to say more seriously — "_{[78-emmeline]} [Dear Emmeline]_78-emmeline , do try and be as lively as [you]_78-emmeline always are . [I]_0-i am sure poor [mamma]_80-mamma is suffering very much at the idea of [papa]_3546-papa 's leaving [us]_2084-us , though [she]_80-mamma will not let [us]_2084-us see that [she]_80-mamma does , and if [you]_78-emmeline give way so , it will make [her]_80-mamma more uncomfortable still . " [Emmeline]_78-emmeline promised to try ; but [her]_78-emmeline disposition , quite as susceptible to sorrow as to joy , and not nearly as firm as [[her]_78-emmeline sister]_{325-her sister} 's , rendered the promise very difficult to fulfill . It was [her]_78-emmeline first sorrow ; and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} watched [her]_78-emmeline with some anxiety , half fearful that [she]_0-i had been wrong to shield [her]_78-emmeline so carefully from any thing like grief , if , when it came , [she]_78-emmeline should prove unequal to its firm and uncomplaining endurance . [Ellen]_113-ellen had been out of [the room]_{356-the room} when [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had first spoken ; and engaged in soothing [Emmeline]_78-emmeline ; when [she]_113-ellen re - entered and the news was communicated to [her]_113-ellen , [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} did not observe any thing particular in mode of receiving it . But [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} was so struck with "_[80-mamma] the expression of [her]_80-mamma countenance , which , as [she]_80-mamma tried somewhat incoherently to utter regrets , took the place of its usual calm , that [she]_80-mamma looked at [her]_80-mamma several minutes in bewilderment ; but it passed again , so completely , that [she]_80-mamma was angry with [herself]_80-mamma for fancying any thing uncommon . [Caroline]_120-caroline , however , had remarked it too , and [she]_120-caroline could not help observing to [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} , the first time [they]_2085-they were alone — " [You]_{112-miss harcourt} will say [I]_120-caroline am always fancying something extraordinary , [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} ; but [Ellen]_113-ellen certainly did look pleased last night , when [mamma]_3420-mamma told [her]_113-ellen of [papa]_3546-papa 's intended departure . "_{[120-caroline]} " The expression must have been something extraordinary for [you]_{112-miss harcourt} to remark it at all , "_{[112-miss harcourt]} replied [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} ; " nobody but [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , whose penetration is out of the common , can ever read any thing on [Ellen]_113-ellen 's face . "_{[112-miss harcourt]} " And it was for that very reason [I]_120-caroline looked again ; and [mamma]_80-mamma noticed it too , and was surprised , though [she]_80-mamma did not say any thing . If [she]_80-mamma really be pleased , [she]_80-mamma is most ungrateful , and all [her]_80-mamma profession of feeling [mamma]_3420-mamma and [papa]_3546-papa 's constant kindness sheer deceit . [I]_120-caroline never shall understand [Ellen]_113-ellen , [I]_120-caroline believe ; but [I]_120-caroline do hope [mamma]_3420-mamma will never discover that [she]_80-mamma is not exactly that which [her]_3420-mamma affection believes [her]_80-mamma . "_{[120-caroline]} " Pray do not talk so , [[my]_120-caroline dear]_{3485-my dear} [Caroline]_120-caroline , or [I]_120-caroline shall be tempted to confess that [you]_120-caroline are giving words to [my]_120-caroline own feelings . [Her]_80-mamma conduct with regard to the disappearance of [her]_80-mamma allowance , the wholly unsatisfactory account of its expenditure , even every month , for [she]_80-mamma seems to [me]_120-caroline to mention many things [she]_80-mamma has never had , banish every hopeful feeling , and [I]_120-caroline dread more than [I]_120-caroline can tell [you]_120-caroline , the very thing [you]_120-caroline have expressed . But all this is very wrong ; [we]_5765-we have relieved [each other]_{938-each other} by a mutual acknowledgment , and now let [us]_5765-we never revert , even in thought , if possible , to the subject . "_{[120-caroline]} [Caroline]_120-caroline willingly acquiesced , for it was far from agreeable . [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's preparations , meanwhile , rapidly progressed . [He]_{81-mrs. hamilton} imparted [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} wishes for [a companion willing to remain in [the island]_{5594-the island}]_{2086-a companion willing to remain in the island} , till [young Wilson]_{180-frederic wilson} should be prepared for the ministry , both to [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} and [Mr. Morton]_{162-mr. morton} ( [the latter still remained in [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} desolate parish]_{2089-his desolate parish}]_{2088-the latter still remained in his desolate parish} , still more isolated in feeling from the loss of both [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} parents]_{3895-his parents} , and [Percy]_150-percy 's absence ) , and both , especially [Morton]_{162-mr. morton} , gave [him]_{81-mrs. hamilton} every hope of obtaining the character [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} wanted . [His]_{81-mrs. hamilton} next inquiry was at [Dartmouth]_48-dartmouth for [a strong , well - built vessel]_{2091-a strong , well - built vessel} , fitted to encounter [the stormy seas between [Scotland]_60-scotland and [Feroe]_54-feroe]_{2092-the stormy seas between scotland and feroe} , determining to do all in [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} power to provide some means of regular communication between [himself]_{81-mrs. hamilton} and [the beloved inmates of [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} home]_{4084-his home}]_{2093-the beloved inmates of his home} . [Wick]_61-wick , in [Caithness]_62-caithness , was [the farthest post town to which]_{2095-the farthest post town to which} letters could be addressed . Every ten days or fortnight communications were to be sent [there]_320-there , and [the Siren]_{2097-the siren} , after conveying [him]_{81-mrs. hamilton} to [Feroe]_54-feroe , was regularly to ply between [Samboe]_53-samboe and [Wick]_61-wick , bringing from [the latter place]_{2098-the latter place} to [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} the various letters that had accumulated [there]_320-there , should unfavorable winds have lengthened the voyage , and forwarding [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} through that post to [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} home]_{4084-his home} . By this means , [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} hoped to hear and be heard of regularly ; an intense relief , if it really could be so accomplished , to [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} wife]_{521-his wife} . As soon as [a ship]_{3845-a ship} , [a competent captain]_{2103-a competent captain} , [mate]_2104-mate , and [crew]_3838-crew were obtained , [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} set off for [Oxford]_36-oxford and [London]_13-london , wishing in the latter place to see [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} friend]_{4617-his friend} [Grahame]_129-annie , and in the former to pass a few days with [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} sons]_{4424-his sons} , who , knowing nothing of [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} summons , received [him]_{81-mrs. hamilton} with unbounded delight . [Their]_{4424-his sons} regret , when [they]_{4424-his sons} heard the cause of [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} visit , was as great as [their]_{4424-his sons} joy had been . [Percy]_150-percy , in a desperate fit of impatience , wished [the little island]_{5586-the little island} and all [its]_{5586-the little island} concerns at [the bottom of [the sea]_{1714-the sea}]_{2109-the bottom of the sea} , [the best place for such unruly , [disagreeable people]_{2112-disagreeable people}]_{2111-the best place for such unruly , disagreeable people} ; and [he]_150-percy was only sobered when [[his]_150-percy father]_{406-his father} put before [him]_150-percy that , though it must be a very heightened individual disappointment , it was the greatest comfort to [him]_150-percy , to think that [they]_{4424-his sons} would both be with [[their]_{4424-his sons} mother]_{488-their mother} and [sisters]_3971-sisters the first few months of [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} absence . [Percy]_150-percy instantly altered [his]_150-percy tone . " [You]_{406-his father} are quite right , [[my]_150-percy dear father]_{1432-my dear father} ; [I]_150-percy was very selfish not to think of it . Trust [me]_150-percy for making [[my]_150-percy dearest mother]_{5768-my dearest mother} as cheerful and as happy as [I]_150-percy can . [You]_{406-his father} do n't know what [a guardian angel]_{5769-a guardian angel} the thought of [her]_{5768-my dearest mother} love has been to [me]_150-percy in temptation ; and as for [Bertie]_197-harding , if ever [I]_150-percy thought [he]_197-harding was studying [himself]_197-harding ill , and not taking the care of [himself]_197-harding [he]_197-harding ought , or wanted [him]_197-harding to take exercise and recreation , when [he]_197-harding thought [me]_150-percy [a great bore , the word mother]_{5770-a great bore , the word mother} , made [him]_197-harding yield at once . "_[150-percy] And [Herbert]_197-harding 's kindling eye and cheek bore testimony to the truth of [[his]_197-harding brother]_{715-his brother} 's words . [His]_197-harding only feeling and exclamation had been , if [he]_197-harding might but accompany [[his]_197-harding father]_{406-his father} , and save [him]_197-harding all the trouble [he]_197-harding could ; allowing , however , its impossibility , when the circumstances of [his]_197-harding still delicate health and the necessity for uninterrupted study , were placed before [him]_197-harding . That visit to [Oxford]_36-oxford was a proud one for [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} . [[His]_{81-mrs. hamilton} sons]_{4424-his sons} held that place in the estimation of [the professors]_{2119-the professors} , [superiors]_{2120-superiors} , and [[their]_{4424-his sons} fellow - collegians]_{2121-their fellow - collegians} , which [their]_{4424-his sons} early influences had promised , and which , as [the sons of [Arthur Hamilton]_{84-arthur hamilton}]_{2122-the sons of arthur hamilton} , seemed naturally [their]_{4424-his sons} own . [Percy]_150-percy could so combine firmness in principle , unbending rectitude in conduct , with such a spirit of fun and enjoyment , as rendered [him]_150-percy [the prime mover of all sports at [Oxford]_36-oxford]_{2123-the prime mover of all sports at oxford} , as [he]_150-percy had been at [Oakwood]_12-oakwood ; and [Herbert]_197-harding , though so gentle and retiring as ( until [Percy]_150-percy 's spirit was roused to shield [him]_197-harding ) , gained [him]_197-harding many nick - names and many petty annoyances , silently and insensibly won [his]_197-harding way , and so bore with [the thoughtless , the mirthful , and even the faulty]_{2124-the thoughtless , the mirthful , and even the faulty} , as at length to gain [him]_197-harding the privilege of being allowed to do just as [he]_197-harding liked , and win by [his]_197-harding extraordinary talents the admiration and love of [all the professors with whom [he]_197-harding was thrown]_{2125-all the professors with whom he was thrown} . [Morton]_{162-mr. morton} had promised to introduce [a person to [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} on [his]_{162-mr. morton} return from [Oxford]_36-oxford]_{2126-a person to mr. hamilton on his return from oxford} , who , if approved of , would be [his]_{162-mr. morton} willing , [[his]_{162-mr. morton} eager assistant]_{2127-his eager assistant} , and gladly remain in [the island]_{5594-the island} , attending to all that was required in its superintendence , and in the education of [young Wilson]_{180-frederic wilson} , till [he]_{180-frederic wilson} was old enough and properly fitted to take [[[his]_{180-frederic wilson} father]_{406-his father} 's place]_{2130-his father 's place} . Great , then , was [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's disappointment , when [Morton]_{162-mr. morton} entered [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} library]_{4607-his library} according to appointment , but quite alone . Still greater was [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} astonishment , when [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} found it was [Morton]_{162-mr. morton} [himself]_{162-mr. morton} , thus eagerly desirous to become [[his]_{162-mr. morton} companion]_{4392-his companion} , urging [his]_{162-mr. morton} wishes , [his]_{162-mr. morton} motives , [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} 's sanction , with such earnestness , such single - mindedness of purpose , that every objection which , for [Morton]_{162-mr. morton} 's own sake , [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} so strenuously brought forward , was overruled ; and after a lengthened interview , matters were arranged to the entire satisfaction of [both parties]_{5528-both parties} . The idea of the companionship and aid of [such a friend]_{2134-such a friend} as [Morton]_{162-mr. morton} bringing as great a relief to both [Mr.]_2135-mr. and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , as [their]_{5528-both parties} acquiescence filled the whole heart of [the young missionary]_{2136-the young missionary} with the most unbounded gratitude and joy . [He]_{162-mr. morton} suggested many little things , which , in the agitation of [his]_{162-mr. morton} hasty summons , had escaped [[his]_{162-mr. morton} friends]_{644-his friends} , and [his]_{162-mr. morton} whole being seemed transformed from despondency and listlessness to energy and hope . Engrossed as [he]_{162-mr. morton} was , [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's usual thought for [others]_756-others had not deserted [him]_{162-mr. morton} , and [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} remarked that [one of [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} household]_{4623-his household}]_{2139-one of his household} , [Robert Langford]_209-robert , so often mentioned , appeared to linger in [the library]_{3958-the library} after morning and evening service , as if anxious to speak to [him]_209-robert , but failing in courage so to do . [He]_{81-mrs. hamilton} thought , too , that [the young man]_{757-the young man} seemed quite altered , dispirited , gloomy , almost wretched at times , instead of the mirthful , happy being [he]_{757-the young man} had been before . Determining to give [him]_{757-the young man} an opportunity of speaking before [his]_{757-the young man} departure , if [he]_{757-the young man} wished it , [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} summoned [him]_{757-the young man} to arrange , write a list , and pack some books , which [Morton]_{162-mr. morton} had selected to take with [him]_{757-the young man} . For some time [Robert]_209-robert pursued [his]_209-robert work in persevering silence , but at length fixed [his]_209-robert eyes on [[his]_209-robert master]_{5692-his master} with such beseeching earnestness , that [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} inquired the matter at once . It was some time before [the young man]_{757-the young man} could sufficiently compose [himself]_{757-the young man} to speak with any coherency , but at last [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} gathered the following details . About five weeks previous ( the first day of June ) [he]_{757-the young man} had been introduced , as [he]_{757-the young man} had very often before been , by [[his]_{757-the young man} master]_{5692-his master} , with certain papers and law articles to convey to [Plymouth]_47-plymouth , and with a pocket book containing thirty pounds , in two ten and two five pound notes , which [he]_{757-the young man} had orders to leave at [some poor though respectable families]_{2146-some poor though respectable families} , whom [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} was in the habit of occasionally assisting , though [they]_{2146-some poor though respectable families} were out of [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} own domains]_{2147-his own domains} . The morning [he]_{757-the young man} was to have started on this expedition [a cousin]_{2148-a cousin} , whom [he]_{757-the young man} had always regarded as [a brother]_{1588-a brother} , came unexpectedly to see [him]_{757-the young man} . [He]_{757-the young man} had just arrived at [Plymouth]_47-plymouth from a four years ' residence with [[his]_{757-the young man} regiment]_{3723-his regiment} in [Ireland]_63-ireland : and [Robert]_209-robert 's glee was so great as to require reiterated commands from [the steward]_{5685-the steward} to take care of the papers , and not stay at [[[his]_209-robert mother]_{330-his mother} 's cottage]_{2153-his mother 's cottage} , where [he]_{757-the young man} was to take [[his]_209-robert cousin]_{2154-his cousin} , later than the afternoon . [He]_{757-the young man} lingered so long before [he]_{757-the young man} set off from [Oakwood]_12-oakwood , that [he]_{757-the young man} gathered up all the papers as quickly as [he]_{757-the young man} could , forgot [his]_{757-the young man} principal charge , so far at least as not to look to the secure fastening of the pocket - book , and hastened with [[his]_{757-the young man} cousin]_{2154-his cousin} through the brushwood and glade [we]_2156-we have before mentioned , to [[[his]_209-robert mother]_{330-his mother} 's cottage]_{2153-his mother 's cottage} . It was very hot , and [the young men , heated and in eager conversation]_{2159-the young men , heated and in eager conversation} , took off [their]_{2159-the young men , heated and in eager conversation} coats , threw them loosely over [their]_{2159-the young men , heated and in eager conversation} arms , and proceeded on [their]_{2159-the young men , heated and in eager conversation} walk without [them]_{2159-the young men , heated and in eager conversation} , much too engrossed with each other to be aware that , as [they]_{2159-the young men , heated and in eager conversation} carried [their]_{2159-the young men , heated and in eager conversation} coats , it was the easiest and most natural thing possible for all the smaller contents of [their]_{2159-the young men , heated and in eager conversation} pockets to fall out , and if not missed directly , from [the winding and rugged wood path]_{2160-the winding and rugged wood path} , not likely to be found again . A draught of cider and half an hour 's rest at [[Mrs. Langford]_{204-mrs. langford} 's cottage]_{2161-mrs. langford 's cottage} sufficiently revived [Robert]_209-robert to resume [his]_209-robert coat ; [he]_209-robert satisfied [himself]_209-robert that [his]_209-robert packet of papers was secure , and , as [he]_209-robert imagined from the feel of another pocket , the pocket - book also . What , then , was [his]_209-robert consternation , when [he]_209-robert approached [the first house at which [he]_209-robert was to leave ten pounds of the money , about twenty miles from [Oakwood]_12-oakwood]_{2162-the first house at which he was to leave ten pounds of the money , about twenty miles from oakwood} to discover that the pocket book was gone ! and that which , by its feel , [he]_209-robert believed to have been it , an old card - case , that [[his]_209-robert young master]_{1156-his young master} [Percy]_150-percy had laughingly thrown at [him]_209-robert one day after failing in [his]_150-percy endeavor to emblazon it , the sticky materials [he]_150-percy had used causing it to adhere to whatever it touched , and so preserving it in [[Robert]_209-robert 's pocket]_{2164-robert 's pocket} , when almost all the other things had fallen out . [He]_209-robert racked [his]_209-robert memory in vain as to what could have become of it , convinced that [he]_209-robert had not left it at [Oakwood]_12-oakwood , as [he]_209-robert first sincerely wished that [he]_209-robert had . Two or three other things had also disappeared , and it suddenly flashed upon [him]_209-robert , that when carrying [his]_209-robert coat over [his]_209-robert arm they must have fallen out . [He]_209-robert cursed [his]_209-robert thoughtlessness again and again , and would have retraced [his]_209-robert steps immediately , but the papers with which [he]_209-robert was intrusted had to be delivered at [Plymouth]_47-plymouth by a certain hour , and [he]_209-robert could not do it . The intense heat of the day gave place in the evening to a tremendous storm of thunder and lightning , wind and very heavy rain , which last continued unabated through the night . [He]_209-robert returned [home]_563-home , or rather to [[[his]_209-robert mother]_{330-his mother} 's cottage]_{2153-his mother 's cottage} , the next day , in a state of mind little removed from distraction ; searching the path [he]_209-robert had traversed with [[his]_209-robert cousin]_{2154-his cousin} in every direction , but only succeeded in finding some worthless trifles , and the pocket - book itself but open and empty ; but at a little distance from it one five pound note . In an instant [he]_209-robert remembered that in [his]_209-robert hurry [he]_209-robert had failed to see to its proper fastening : if [he]_209-robert had , all would have been right , for the wind and rain would hardly have had power to open it , and disperse its contents . Hour after hour [he]_209-robert passed in the vain search for the remainder ; the storm had rendered the path more intricate ; the ground was slimy , and quantities of dried sticks and broken branches and leaves almost covered it . [He]_209-robert told [his]_209-robert tale to [[his]_209-robert mother]_{330-his mother} in the deepest distress ; what was [he]_209-robert to do ? [She]_{330-his mother} advised [him]_209-robert to tell [the steward]_{5685-the steward} the whole story , and to request [him]_209-robert to keep back the sum [she]_{330-his mother} was in the habit of receiving quarterly , till the whole amount could be repaid . [Robert]_209-robert obeyed [her]_{330-his mother} , but with most painful reluctance , though even then [he]_209-robert did not imagine all the misery [his]_209-robert carelessness would entail upon [him]_209-robert . [Morris]_134-morris , as was natural , was exceedingly displeased , and not only reproved [him]_209-robert very severely , but let fall suspicions as to the truth of [his]_209-robert story : [he]_209-robert knew nothing of [[his]_209-robert cousin]_{2154-his cousin} , [he]_209-robert said , and could not say what company [he]_209-robert might have been led into . If the notes had fallen out of [his]_209-robert pocket during [his]_209-robert walk , they must be found ; it was all nonsense that the wind and rain could so have scattered and annihilated them , as to remove all trace of them . [He]_209-robert would not say any thing to [[his]_209-robert master]_{5692-his master} , because it would only annoy [him]_{5692-his master} , and the charities [he]_209-robert would give [himself]_209-robert , not from [Mrs. Langford]_{204-mrs. langford} 's allowance , but from [Robert]_209-robert 's own wages , which [he]_209-robert should certainly stop till the whole sum was paid ; [he]_209-robert should take care how [he]_209-robert intrusted such a responsible office to [him]_{5692-his master} again . [Robert]_209-robert was at first indignant , and violent in [his]_209-robert protestations of the truth of [his]_209-robert story ; but as it got wind in [[the servants]_{4009-the servants} ' hall]_{4954-the servants ' hall} as [he]_209-robert found [himself]_209-robert suspected and shunned by almost all , as days merged into weeks , and there was no trace of the notes , and [Morris]_134-morris and [Ellis]_135-ellis both united in declaring that , as [no strangers]_{979-no strangers} passed through [that part of [the park]_{4069-the park}]_{2176-that part of the park} , if found [they]_{979-no strangers} must have been heard of , [the young man]_{757-the young man} sunk into a state of the most gloomy despondency , longing to tell [[his]_{757-the young man} kind master]_{2179-his kind master} the whole tale , and yet , naturally enough , shrinking from the dread of [his]_209-robert suspicion of [his]_209-robert honesty , as more terrible than all the rest . But [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} did not suspect [him]_209-robert , and so assured [him]_209-robert of [his]_209-robert firm belief in [his]_209-robert truth and innocence , that it was with great difficulty poor [Robert]_209-robert refrained from throwing [himself]_209-robert at [his]_209-robert feet to pour forth [his]_209-robert gratitude . [He]_209-robert was so severely punished from [his]_209-robert heedlessness , that [[his]_209-robert master]_{5692-his master} would not say much about it , and soon after dismissing [him]_209-robert , summoned [Morris]_134-morris , and talked with [him]_134-morris some time on the subject , declaring [he]_134-morris would as soon suspect [[his]_134-morris own son]_{2181-his own son} of dishonesty as [the boy who had grown up under [his]_134-morris own eye from infancy]_{2182-the boy who had grown up under his own eye from infancy} , and [the son of such a mother]_{2183-the son of such a mother} . It was very distressing for [Mrs. Langford]_{204-mrs. langford} certainly , [the old steward]_{2184-the old steward} allowed , and [she]_{204-mrs. langford} looked sad enough ; but it was no use , [he]_134-morris had tried hard enough to prevent [his]_134-morris suspicions , but they would come . None but [the servants]_{4009-the servants} and [the woodmen]_{2186-the woodmen} and [gardeners]_{2187-gardeners} went that path , and if the notes had been dropped there , they must have been found ; and it was a very hard thing for [the other servants]_{2188-the other servants} , as [none]_2189-none knew who might be suspected of appropriating [them]_2190-them . [[His]_209-robert master]_{5692-his master} was much too kind in [his]_{5692-his master} opinions , but [he]_{5692-his master} must forgive [him]_209-robert if [he]_{5692-his master} continued to keep a sharp look out after [the young man]_{757-the young man} . [Morris]_134-morris was very old , and somewhat opinionated ; so all that [[his]_209-robert master]_{5692-his master} could succeed in , was to insist that [he]_{5692-his master} should only keep back half of [Robert]_209-robert 's wages , till the sum was paid . " Take away the whole , and if [he]_209-robert have been unfortunately led into temptation , which [I]_209-robert do not believe [he]_209-robert has , [you]_209-robert expose [him]_209-robert to it again , "_[209-robert] was [his]_209-robert judicious command . " It is all right [he]_209-robert should return it , even though lost only by carelessness ; but [I]_209-robert will not have [him]_209-robert put to such straits for want of a little money , as must be the case if [you]_209-robert deprive [him]_209-robert of all [his]_209-robert wages ; and now , [[my]_209-robert good [Morris]_134-morris]_{5771-my good morris} , if [you]_209-robert can not in conscience repeat [my]_209-robert firm opinion of [this lad]_{5772-this lad} 's innocence to [the servants]_{4009-the servants} , [I]_209-robert must do it [myself]_209-robert . "_[209-robert] And that very evening after prayers , when [the whole household]_{2194-the whole household} were assembled in [the library]_{3958-the library} , [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} addressed [them]_{2194-the whole household} simply and briefly , mentioning that [Robert Langford]_209-robert had [himself]_209-robert told [his]_209-robert tale to [him]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , and that it was [his]_209-robert own opinion , and that of [[their]_{2194-the whole household} mistress]_{2196-their mistress} , that [he]_209-robert did not deserve the suspicions attached to [him]_209-robert , and that [[his]_209-robert fellow - servants]_{2197-his fellow - servants} would all be acting more charitably and religiously if [they]_{2197-his fellow - servants} believed [his]_209-robert story , until [they]_{2197-his fellow - servants} had had some strong proof to the contrary ; [he]_209-robert could not of course , interfere with private opinion ; [he]_209-robert could only tell [them]_{2197-his fellow - servants} [his]_209-robert own and [[their]_{2194-the whole household} lady]_{2198-their lady} 's . [He]_209-robert acknowledged it was a very unpleasant occurrence , but [he]_209-robert begged [them]_{2197-his fellow - servants} all to dismiss the idea that suspicion could be attached to either of [them]_{2197-his fellow - servants} ; [he]_209-robert felt too convinced that had [any one of [[his]_209-robert household]_{4623-his household}]_{2199-any one of his household} chanced to find the missing notes , [they]_{2197-his fellow - servants} would at once have mentioned it to [the steward]_{5685-the steward} or [housekeeper]_{2202-housekeeper} , more especially , since [Robert]_209-robert 's loss had been known among [them]_{2197-his fellow - servants} only a few days after it had occurred . Appropriation , [he]_209-robert need not tell [them]_{2197-his fellow - servants} , in such a case was theft , and of that sin , [he]_209-robert was perfectly certain , [not one present]_{2203-not one present} would be guilty . [He]_209-robert allowed that it would be much more satisfactory to have the tangible proof of [Robert]_209-robert 's innocence by discovering some trace of them but it was not unlikely the heavy wind and rain had destroyed the thin material of the notes or borne them into the brambly brushwood , where it was scarcely possible they could be found . If the attention of [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , [[her]_2204-her daughters]_{533-her daughters} , and [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} had not been naturally riveted on [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's address , and its effect on [the servants]_{4009-the servants} , especially [Robert]_209-robert , whose emotion was almost overpowering , [they]_{2197-his fellow - servants} must have remarked that [Ellen]_113-ellen had shrunk into the shade of the heavy curtains falling by one of the windows , and had unconsciously grasped the oaken back of one of the massive chairs ; lips , cheek , and brow , white and rigid as sculptured marble . An almost supernatural effort alone enabled [her]_113-ellen to master the crushing agony , sending the blood up to [her]_113-ellen cheeks with such returning violence , that when [she]_113-ellen wished [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} and [uncle]_3425-uncle good night , [she]_113-ellen might have been thought more flushed than pale ; but it passed unnoticed [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} too much annoyed on [Mrs. Langford]_{204-mrs. langford} 's account , to think at that moment of any thing but how [she]_113-ellen could best set [the poor mother]_{5511-the poor mother} 's heart at rest . It was very evident that though [some of [the domestics]_{4627-the domestics} after [[their]_{2210-some of the domestics after their master 's address} master]_{2212-their master} 's address]_{2210-some of the domestics after their master 's address} came up to [Robert]_209-robert , shook hands with [him]_209-robert and begged [his]_209-robert pardon , [the greater number]_{2213-the greater number} still sided with [Morris]_134-morris , and retained [their]_{2213-the greater number} own less favorable opinion , and [she]_113-ellen could well imagine what [Mrs. Langford]_{204-mrs. langford} 's sufferings must be . It only wanted five days to that fixed for [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's departure , wind permitting ; and there were so many things to think of and do for [him]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , that [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} family]_{4086-his family} could have little thought of any thing else ; but [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , assured [[her]_113-ellen husband]_{340-her husband} [she]_113-ellen would leave no means untried to prove [Robert]_209-robert 's innocence . For nearly an hour that same night did [Ellen]_113-ellen , after [[her]_113-ellen attendant]_{2216-her attendant} had left [her]_113-ellen , sit crouched by the side of [her]_113-ellen bed as if some bolt had struck and withered [her]_113-ellen as [she]_113-ellen sat . One word alone sounded and resounded in [her]_113-ellen ears ; [she]_113-ellen had known it , pronounced it to be such to [herself]_113-ellen numbers of times , but it had never mocked and maddened [her]_113-ellen as when spoken in [[her]_113-ellen uncle]_{519-her uncle} 's voice , and in [his]_{519-her uncle} deepest , most expressive tone—"theft ! "_{[519-her uncle]} And [she]_113-ellen was [the guilty one]_{2218-the guilty one} — and [she]_113-ellen must see [the innocent]_{2219-the innocent} bearing the penalty of [her]_113-ellen crime , suspicion , dislike , avoidance , for [she]_113-ellen dared not breathe the truth . Again came the wild , almost desperate , resolve to seek [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} that very moment , avow [herself]_113-ellen [the criminal]_{2220-the criminal} , implore [her]_113-ellen to take back every trinket belonging to [her]_113-ellen , to replace it , and do with [her]_113-ellen what [she]_113-ellen would . But if [she]_113-ellen did confess , and so draw attention to [her]_113-ellen , how could [she]_113-ellen keep [[her]_113-ellen brother]_{384-her brother} 's secret ? Could [she]_113-ellen have firmness to bear all , rather than betray it ? What proof of [her]_113-ellen inward wretchedness and remorse could there be in the mere confession of appropriation , when the use to which [she]_113-ellen had applied that money and all concerning it , even to the day it was found , must be withheld , lest it should in any way be connected with [her]_113-ellen letter to [[her]_113-ellen brother]_{384-her brother} . [She]_113-ellen must be silent ; and the only prayer which , night and morning , ay , almost every hour , rose , from that young heart , was for death , ere it was too late for [God]_85-god 's forgiveness . The many secret wishes for an unfavorable wind , that [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} might stay at [Oakwood]_12-oakwood still a little longer , were not granted , and [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} left [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} family]_{4086-his family} the very day [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had fixed , the 14th of July , just three weeks after [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} summons , and about ten days before [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} sons]_{4424-his sons} were expected [home]_563-home . Without [him]_{81-mrs. hamilton} [Oakwood]_12-oakwood was strange indeed , but with the exception of [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , all seemed determined to conquer the sadness and anxiety , which the departure of [one so beloved]_{2226-one so beloved} , naturally occasioned . [Emmeline]_78-emmeline was so unused to any thing like personal sorrow , that [she]_78-emmeline rather seemed to luxuriate in its indulgence . " Do [you]_78-emmeline wish to both disappoint and displease [me]_{345-her mother} , [[my]_{345-her mother} dear]_{3485-my dear} [Emmeline]_78-emmeline ? "_{[345-her mother]} [[her]_78-emmeline mother]_{345-her mother} said , one day , about a week after [[her]_{345-her mother} husband]_{340-her husband} had gone , as [she]_{345-her mother} entered [the music - room]_{5016-the music - room} , expecting to find [[her]_{345-her mother} daughter]_{309-her daughter} at the harp , but perceiving [her]_{309-her daughter} instead , listless and dispirited , on the sofa . " Indeed , [you]_78-emmeline will do both , if [you]_78-emmeline give way to this most uncalled - for gloom . "_{[345-her mother]} " Uncalled for , "_{[78-emmeline]} replied [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , almost pettishly . " Quite uncalled for , to the extent in which [you]_78-emmeline are indulging it ; and even if called for , do [you]_78-emmeline not think [you]_78-emmeline would be acting more correctly , if [you]_78-emmeline thought more of [others]_756-others than [yourself]_78-emmeline , and tried to become [your]_78-emmeline own cheerful self for [their]_756-others sakes ? It is the first time [you]_78-emmeline have ever given [me]_78-emmeline cause to suspect [you]_78-emmeline of selfishness ; and [I]_78-emmeline am disappointed . "_{[78-emmeline]} " Selfishness , [mamma]_3420-mamma ; and [I]_{309-her daughter} do hate the thought of it so ! Am [I]_{309-her daughter} selfish ? "_{[309-her daughter]} [she]_{309-her daughter} repeated , [her]_{309-her daughter} voice faltering , and [her]_{309-her daughter} eyes filling fast with tears . " [I]_{309-her daughter} hope not , [[my]_{309-her daughter} love]_{3456-my love} ; but if [you]_78-emmeline do not try to shake off this depression , [we]_5778-we must believe [you]_78-emmeline to be so . [[Your]_78-emmeline father]_{3470-your father} 's absence is a still greater trial to [Caroline]_120-caroline than it is to [you]_78-emmeline , for it compels a very bitter disappointment , as well as the loss of [his]_{3470-your father} society ; and yet , though [she]_120-caroline feels both deeply , [she]_120-caroline has exerted [herself]_120-caroline more than [I]_{309-her daughter} ever saw [her]_120-caroline do before , and so proves , more than any words or tears could do , how much [she]_120-caroline loves both [him]_{3470-your father} and [me]_{309-her daughter} . "_{[309-her daughter]} " And do [you]_78-emmeline think [I]_78-emmeline love [you]_78-emmeline both , less than [she]_120-caroline does ? "_{[78-emmeline]} replied [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , now fairly sobbing . " No , [dearest]_861-dearest ; but [I]_78-emmeline want [you]_78-emmeline to prove it in the same admirable manner . Do [you]_78-emmeline think [I]_78-emmeline do not feel [[your]_78-emmeline father]_{3470-your father} 's absence , [Emmeline]_78-emmeline ? but would [you]_78-emmeline like to see [me]_78-emmeline as sad and changed as [you]_78-emmeline are ? "_{[78-emmeline]} [Emmeline]_78-emmeline looked up in [her]_78-emmeline face , for there was something in the tone that appealed to [her]_78-emmeline better feelings at once . Throwing [her]_78-emmeline arms round [her]_78-emmeline , [she]_78-emmeline sobbed — " [Dear mamma]_{3422-dear mamma} , do forgive [me]_78-emmeline . [I]_78-emmeline see now [I]_78-emmeline have been very selfish and very weak , but [I]_78-emmeline never , never can be as firm and self - controlled as [you]_{3422-dear mamma} and [Caroline]_120-caroline are . "_{[78-emmeline]} " Do not say never , love , or [you]_{3422-dear mamma} will never try to be so . [I]_78-emmeline am quite sure [you]_{3422-dear mamma} would not like to be one of [those weak , selfish characters]_{5783-those weak , selfish characters} , who lay all [their]_{5783-those weak , selfish characters} faults , and all the mischief [their]_{5783-those weak , selfish characters} faults produce , on a supposed impossibility to become like [others]_756-others . [I]_78-emmeline know [your]_{3422-dear mamma} disposition is naturally less strong and firm than [[your]_{3422-dear mamma} sister]_{1110-your sister} 's , but it is more elastic , and still more joyous ; and so had [you]_{3422-dear mamma} not too weakly encouraged [your]_{3422-dear mamma} very natural sorrow , [you]_{3422-dear mamma} would have been enabled to throw it off , and in the comfort such an exertion would have brought to [us]_5786-us , fully recompensed [yourself]_{3422-dear mamma} . "_{[78-emmeline]} " And if [I]_78-emmeline do try now ? "_{[78-emmeline]} " [I]_78-emmeline shall be quite satisfied , [dearest]_861-dearest ; though [I]_78-emmeline fear [you]_{3422-dear mamma} will find it more difficult than had [you]_{3422-dear mamma} tried a few days ago . Confess that [I]_78-emmeline am right . Did [you]_{3422-dear mamma} not , after the first two or three days , feel that [you]_{3422-dear mamma} could have been cheerful again , at least at times , but that [you]_{3422-dear mamma} fancied [you]_{3422-dear mamma} had not felt sorry enough , and so increased both sorrow and anxiety by determinedly dwelling on them , instead of seeking some pursuit ? "_{[78-emmeline]} " Dear mamma , shall [I]_78-emmeline never be able to hide a feeling from [you]_{3422-dear mamma} ? "_{[78-emmeline]} answered [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , so astonished , that [her]_78-emmeline tears half dried . " [I]_78-emmeline did not know [I]_78-emmeline felt so [myself]_78-emmeline till [you]_{3422-dear mamma} put it before [me]_78-emmeline , and now [I]_78-emmeline know that [I]_78-emmeline really did . Was it very wrong ? "_{[78-emmeline]} " [I]_78-emmeline will answer [your]_{3422-dear mamma} question by another , love . Did [you]_{3422-dear mamma} find such pertinacious indulgence of gloom , help [you]_{3422-dear mamma} to bring the object of [your]_{3422-dear mamma} regret and anxiety , and of [your]_{3422-dear mamma} own grief before [[your]_{3422-dear mamma} Heavenly Father]_{5788-your heavenly father} ? "_{[78-emmeline]} [Emmeline]_78-emmeline hesitated , but only for a minute , then answered , with a crimson blush — " No , [mamma]_3420-mamma ; [I]_78-emmeline could not pray to [God]_85-god to protect [dear papa]_{845-dear papa} , or to give [me]_78-emmeline [His]_{845-dear papa} blessing , half as earnestly and believingly as when [I]_78-emmeline was happier ; the more [I]_78-emmeline indulged in gloomy thoughts , the more difficulty [I]_78-emmeline had to turn them to prayer , and the last few days , [I]_78-emmeline fear [I]_78-emmeline have not even tried . "_{[78-emmeline]} " Then , [dearest]_861-dearest , is it necessary for [me]_78-emmeline to answer [your]_{3422-dear mamma} former question ? [I]_78-emmeline see by that conscious look that it is not . [You]_{3422-dear mamma} have always trusted [my]_78-emmeline experience and affection , [[my]_78-emmeline Emmeline]_{1674-my emmeline} , trust [them]_5793-them now , and try [my]_78-emmeline plan . Think of [[your]_{3422-dear mamma} dear father]_{5794-your dear father} , whom [you]_{3422-dear mamma} can not love too well , or whose compelled absence really regret too much ; but so think of [him]_{5794-your dear father} , as to pray continually in spirit to [[your]_{3422-dear mamma} gracious God]_{5795-your gracious god} , to have [him]_{5794-your dear father} always in [His]_{5794-your dear father} holy keeping , either on [sea or land]_{5796-sea or land} , in storm or calm , and so prosper [his]_{5794-your dear father} undertaking , as to permit [his]_{5794-your dear father} return to [us]_5797-us still sooner than [we]_5797-us at present expect . The very constant prayer for this , will make [you]_{3422-dear mamma} rest secure and happy in the belief , that [[our]_5797-us God]_{5798-our god} is with [him]_{5794-your dear father} wherever [he]_{5794-your dear father} is , as [He]_{5794-your dear father} is with [us]_5797-us , and so give [you]_{3422-dear mamma} cheerfulness and courage to attend to [your]_{3422-dear mamma} daily duties , and conquer any thing like too selfish sorrow . Will [you]_{3422-dear mamma} try this , love , even if it be more difficult now , than it would have been a few days ago ? "_{[78-emmeline]} " [I]_2231-i will indeed , [mamma]_3420-mamma , "_[2231-i] and [she]_2231-i raised [her]_2231-i head from [[her]_2231-i mother]_{345-her mother} 's shoulder , and tried to smile . " When [you]_3420-mamma first addressed [me]_2231-i to - day , [I]_2231-i thought [you]_3420-mamma were almost harsh , and so cold — so [you]_3420-mamma see even there [I]_2231-i was thinking wrong — and now [I]_2231-i am glad , oh , so glad , [you]_3420-mamma did speak to [me]_2231-i ! "_[2231-i] " And [I]_2231-i know who will be glad too , if [I]_2231-i have prevented [his]_5800-his having a Niobe for [his]_5800-his Tiny , instead of the Euphrosyne , which [I]_2231-i believe [he]_5800-his sometimes calls [you]_3420-mamma . [I]_2231-i thought there was one particular duet that [Percy]_150-percy is to be so charmed with , [Emmy]_121-emmy . Suppose [you]_3420-mamma try it now . "_[2231-i] And , [her]_2233-her tears all checked , [her]_2233-her most unusual gloom dispersed , [Emmeline]_78-emmeline obeyed with alacrity , and finding , when [she]_2233-her had once begun , so many things to get perfect for the gratification of [[her]_2233-her brothers]_{4973-her brothers} , that nearly three hours slipped away quite unconsciously ; and when [Caroline]_120-caroline returned from a walk , [she]_120-caroline was astonished at the change in [[her]_120-caroline sister]_{325-her sister} , and touched by the affectionate self - reproach with which [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , looking up in [her]_120-caroline face , exclaimed — " [Dear Caroline]_120-caroline , [I]_78-emmeline have been so pettish and so cross to [you]_120-caroline since [papa]_3546-papa left , that [I]_78-emmeline am sure [you]_120-caroline must be quite tired of [me]_78-emmeline ; but [I]_78-emmeline am going to be really [a heroine]_{5802-a heroine} now , and not [a shy sentimental one]_{5803-a shy sentimental one} ; and bear the pain of [papa]_3546-papa 's absence as bravely as [you]_120-caroline do . "_{[78-emmeline]} And [she]_78-emmeline did so ; though at first it was , as [[her]_78-emmeline mother]_{345-her mother} had warned [her]_78-emmeline , very difficult to compel the requisite exertion , which for employment and cheerfulness , was now needed ; but when the will is right , there is little fear of failure . As each day passed , so quickly merging into weeks , that five had now slipped away since that fatal letter had been sent to [Edward]_76-edward , the difficulty to do as [she]_78-emmeline had intended , entreat [Mrs. Langford]_{204-mrs. langford} to dispose of [her]_78-emmeline trinkets and watch , became to [Ellen]_113-ellen , either in reality or seeming , more and more difficult . [Her]_78-emmeline illness had confined [her]_78-emmeline to [[her]_78-emmeline room]_{4818-her room} for nearly a week , and when [she]_78-emmeline was allowed to take the air , the state of nervous debility to which it had reduced [her]_78-emmeline , of course prevented [her]_78-emmeline ever being left alone . The day after [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's appeal to [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} domestics]_{2238-his domestics} , [she]_78-emmeline had made a desperate attempt , by asking permission to be the bearer of a message from [[her]_78-emmeline aunt]_{367-her aunt} to [the widow]_{477-the widow} ; and as [the girls]_{4910-the girls} were often allowed and encouraged to visit [[their]_{4910-the girls} nurse]_{2242-their nurse} , the request was granted without any surprise , though to the very last moment [she]_78-emmeline feared [one of [[her]_78-emmeline cousins]_{3955-her cousins}]_{2243-one of her cousins} or [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} would offer to accompany [her]_78-emmeline . [They]_{4910-the girls} were all , however , too occupied with and for [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , and [she]_78-emmeline sought [the cottage]_{301-the cottage} , and there , with such very evident mental agony , besought [Mrs. Langford]_{204-mrs. langford} to promise [her]_78-emmeline secrecy and aid , that [the widow]_{477-the widow} , very much against [her]_78-emmeline conscience , was won over to accede . [She]_78-emmeline was in most pressing want of money , [she]_78-emmeline urged , and dared not appeal to [[her]_78-emmeline aunt]_{367-her aunt} . Not daring to say the whole amount which [she]_78-emmeline so urgently required at once , [she]_78-emmeline had only brought with [her]_78-emmeline the antique gold cross and two or three smaller ornaments , which had been among [[her]_78-emmeline mother]_{345-her mother} 's trinkets , and a gold locket [Percy]_150-percy had given [her]_78-emmeline . [Mrs. Langford]_{204-mrs. langford} was painfully startled . [She]_{204-mrs. langford} had no idea [her]_{204-mrs. langford} promise comprised acquiescence and assistance in any matter so very wrong and mysterious as this ; and [she]_{204-mrs. langford} tried every argument , every persuasion , to prevail on [Ellen]_113-ellen to confide all [her]_113-ellen difficulties to [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , urging that if even [she]_113-ellen had done wrong , it could only call for temporary displeasure , whereas the mischief of [her]_113-ellen present proceeding might never come to an end , and must be discovered at last ; but [Ellen]_113-ellen was inexorable , though evidently quite as miserable as [she]_113-ellen was firm , and [Mrs. Langford]_{204-mrs. langford} had too high an idea of the solemn nature of a pledged word to draw back , or think of betraying [her]_113-ellen . [She]_{204-mrs. langford} said that , of course , it might be some weeks before [she]_{204-mrs. langford} could succeed in disposing of [them]_2249-them all ; as to offer [them]_2249-them all together , or even at one place , would be exposing [herself]_{204-mrs. langford} to the most unpleasant suspicions . One step was thus gained , but nearly a fortnight had passed , and [she]_{204-mrs. langford} heard nothing from [the widow]_{477-the widow} . " Will [they]_2249-them never come ? "_{[78-emmeline]} exclaimed [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , in mirthful impatience , one evening , about four days after [her]_78-emmeline conversation with [[her]_78-emmeline mother]_{345-her mother} ; " it must be past the hour [Percy]_150-percy named . "_{[78-emmeline]} " It still wants half an hour , "_{[81-mrs. hamilton]} replied [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} ; adding , " that unfortunate drawing , when will it succeed in obtaining [your]_{204-mrs. langford} undivided attention ? "_{[81-mrs. hamilton]} " Certainly not this evening , [mamma]_3420-mamma ; the only drawing [I]_78-emmeline feel inclined for , is a sketch of [[my]_78-emmeline two brothers]_{5806-my two brothers} , if [they]_{5806-my two brothers} would only have the kindness to sit by [me]_78-emmeline . "_{[78-emmeline]} " [Poor Percy]_99-percy , "_{[120-caroline]} observed [Caroline]_120-caroline , dryly ; " if [you]_{204-mrs. langford} are to be as restless as [you]_{204-mrs. langford} have been the last hour , [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , [he]_99-percy would not be very much flattered by [his]_99-percy portrait . "_{[120-caroline]} " Now that is very spiteful of [you]_{204-mrs. langford} , [Caroline]_120-caroline , and all because [I]_78-emmeline do not happen to be so quiet and sober as [you]_{204-mrs. langford} are ; though [I]_78-emmeline am sure all this morning , that [mamma]_3420-mamma thought by [your]_{204-mrs. langford} unusually long absence that [you]_{204-mrs. langford} were having a most persevering practice , [you]_{204-mrs. langford} were only collecting all [Percy]_99-percy 's and [Herbert]_209-robert 's favorite songs and pieces , and playing them over , instead of [your]_{204-mrs. langford} new music . "_{[78-emmeline]} " And what if [I]_78-emmeline did , [Emmeline]_78-emmeline ? "_{[78-emmeline]} " Why , it only proves that [your]_{204-mrs. langford} thoughts are quite as much occupied by them as [mine]_78-emmeline are , though [you]_{204-mrs. langford} have so disagreeably read , studied , worked , just as usual , to make one believe [you]_{204-mrs. langford} neither thought nor cared any thing about [them]_5808-them . "_{[120-caroline]} " And so , because [Caroline]_120-caroline can control even joyous anticipation , [she]_120-caroline is to be thought void of feeling , [Emmy]_121-emmy . [I]_78-emmeline really can pronounce no such judgment ; so , though [she]_120-caroline may have settled to [her]_120-caroline usual pursuits , and [you]_{204-mrs. langford} have literally done nothing at all to - day , [I]_78-emmeline will not condemn [her]_120-caroline as loving [[her]_120-caroline brothers]_{4973-her brothers} less . "_{[78-emmeline]} " But [you]_{204-mrs. langford} will condemn [me]_78-emmeline as [an idle , unsteady , hair - brained girl]_{5810-an idle , unsteady , hair - brained girl} , "_{[78-emmeline]} replied [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , kneeling on the ottoman at [[her]_78-emmeline mother]_{345-her mother} 's feet , and looking archly and fondly in [her]_{345-her mother} face . " Then do let [me]_78-emmeline have [a fellow - sufferer]_{5811-a fellow - sufferer} , for [I]_78-emmeline can not stand condemnation alone . [Ellen]_113-ellen , do put away that everlasting sketch , and be idle and unsteady , too ! "_{[78-emmeline]} " It wo n't do , [Emmy]_121-emmy ; [Ellen]_113-ellen has been so perseveringly industrious since [her]_113-ellen illness , that [I]_78-emmeline should rather condemn [her]_113-ellen for too much application than too great idleness . But [you]_121-emmy really have been stooping too long this warm evening , [[my]_78-emmeline love]_{3456-my love} , "_{[78-emmeline]} [she]_78-emmeline added , observing , as [Ellen]_113-ellen , it seemed almost involuntarily , looked up at [[her]_113-ellen cousin]_{4159-her cousin} 's words , that [her]_113-ellen cheeks were flushed almost painfully . " Oblige [Emmeline]_78-emmeline this once , and be as idle as [she]_113-ellen is : come and talk to [me]_113-ellen , [I]_113-ellen have scarcely heard a word from [you]_78-emmeline to - day ; [you]_78-emmeline have been more silent than ever , [I]_113-ellen think , since [[your]_78-emmeline uncle]_{3427-your uncle} left [us]_5814-us ; but [I]_113-ellen must have no gloom to greet [[your]_78-emmeline cousins]_{978-your cousins} , [Ellen]_113-ellen . "_[113-ellen] There was no rejoinder to these kind and playful words . [Ellen]_113-ellen did indeed put aside [her]_113-ellen drawing , but instead of taking a seat near [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} , which in former days [she]_113-ellen would have been only too happy to do , [she]_113-ellen walked to the farthest window , and ensconcing [herself]_113-ellen in its deep recess , seemed determined to hold communion with [no one]_{3540-no one} . [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} was so indignant as scarcely to be able to contain its expression . [Caroline]_120-caroline looked astonished and provoked . [Emmeline]_78-emmeline was much too busy in flying from window to window , to think of any thing else but [[her]_78-emmeline brothers]_{4973-her brothers} . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} was more grieved and hurt than [Ellen]_113-ellen had scarcely ever made [her]_78-emmeline feel . Several times before , in the last month , [she]_78-emmeline had fancied there was something unusual in [her]_78-emmeline manner ; but the many anxieties and thoughts which had engrossed [her]_78-emmeline since [[her]_78-emmeline husband]_{340-her husband} 's summons and [his]_{340-her husband} departure , had prevented any thing , till that evening , but momentary surprise . [Emmeline]_78-emmeline 's exclamation that [she]_78-emmeline was quite sure [she]_78-emmeline heard the trampling of horses , and that it must be [Percy]_99-percy , by the headlong way [he]_99-percy rode , prevented any remark , and brought [them]_2258-them all to the window ; and [she]_78-emmeline was right , for in a few minutes [a horseman]_{2259-a horseman} emerged from some distant trees , urging [his]_{2259-a horseman} horse to its utmost speed , waving [his]_{2259-a horseman} cap in all sorts of mirthful gesticulations over [his]_{2259-a horseman} head , long before [he]_{2259-a horseman} could be quite sure that there was any body to see [him]_{2259-a horseman} . Another minute , and [he]_{2259-a horseman} had flung the reins to [Robert]_209-robert , with a laughing greeting , and springing up the long flight of steps in two bounds , was in [the sitting - room]_{4845-the sitting - room} and in the arms of [[his]_{2259-a horseman} mother]_{330-his mother} , before [either of [[his]_{2259-a horseman} family]_{4086-his family}]_{4522-either of his family} imagined [he]_{2259-a horseman} could have had even time to dismount . " [Herbert]_209-robert ? "_{[330-his mother]} was the first word [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's quivering lip could speak . " Is quite well , [[my]_{330-his mother} dearest mother]_{5768-my dearest mother} , and not five minutes ' ride behind [me]_{330-his mother} . [The villagers]_{316-the villagers} would flock round [us]_5818-us , with such an hurrah , [I]_{330-his mother} thought [you]_{5768-my dearest mother} must have heard it here ; so [I]_{330-his mother} left [Bertie]_209-robert to play the agreeable , and promised to see [them]_{316-the villagers} to - morrow , and galloped on here , for [you]_{5768-my dearest mother} know the day [we]_5818-us left , [I]_{330-his mother} vowed that [the firstborn of [[my]_{330-his mother} mother]_{890-my mother}]_{5819-the firstborn of my mother} should have [her]_{5819-the firstborn of my mother} first kiss . "_{[330-his mother]} " Still the same , [Percy]_99-percy — not sobered yet , [[my]_{330-his mother} boy]_{868-my boy} ? "_{[330-his mother]} said [[his]_2264-his mother]_{330-his mother} , looking at [him]_2264-his with a proud smile ; for while the tone and manner were still [the eager , fresh - feeling boy]_{2266-the eager , fresh - feeling boy} , the face and figure were that of [the fine - growing , noble - looking man]_{2267-the fine - growing , noble - looking man} . " Sobered ! why , [mother]_3430-mother , [I]_2264-his never intend to be , "_[2264-his] [he]_2264-his answered , joyously , as [he]_2264-his alternately embraced [[his]_2264-his sisters]_{4486-his sisters} , [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} , and [Ellen]_113-ellen , who , fearing to attract notice , had emerged from [her]_113-ellen hiding - place ; " if [the venerable towers of [[that most]_{5824-that most} wise and learned town]_{5825-that most wise and learned town} , [Oxford]_36-oxford , and all the grave lectures and long faces of [sage professors]_{5826-sage professors}]_{5823-the venerable towers of that most wise and learned town , oxford , and all the grave lectures and long faces of sage professors} have failed to tame [me]_2269-his , there can be no hope for [my]_2269-his sobriety ; but here comes [Herbert]_209-robert , actually going it almost as fast as [I]_2269-his did . Well done , [[my]_2269-his boy]_{868-my boy} ! [Mother]_183-mother , that is all [your]_183-mother doing ; [he]_209-robert feels [your]_183-mother influence at this distance . Why , [all the Oxonians]_{5828-all the oxonians} would fancy [the colleges]_{5829-the colleges} must be tumbling about [their]_{5828-all the oxonians} ears , if [they]_{5828-all the oxonians} saw [the gentle , studious , steady Herbert Hamilton]_102-herbert riding at such a rate . "_[2269-his] [He]_2269-his entered almost as [[his]_2269-his brother]_{715-his brother} spoke ; and though less boisterous , the intense delight it was to [him]_2269-his to look in [[his]_2269-his mother]_{330-his mother} 's face again , to be surrounded by all [he]_2269-his loved , was as visible as [Percy]_99-percy 's ; and deep was the thankfulness of [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's ever anxious heart , as [she]_{330-his mother} saw [him]_2269-his looking so well — so much stronger than in [his]_2269-his boyhood . The joy of that evening , and of very many succeeding days , was , indeed , great ; though [many to whom the sanctity and bliss of domestic affection are unknown]_{2272-many to whom the sanctity and bliss of domestic affection are unknown} , might fancy there was little to call for it ; but to [the inmates of [Oakwood]_12-oakwood]_{5342-the inmates of oakwood} it was real happiness to hear [Percy]_99-percy 's wild laugh and [his]_99-percy inexhaustible stories , calling forth the same mirth from [[his]_99-percy hearers]_{2274-his hearers} — the very sound of [his]_99-percy ever - bounding step , and [his]_99-percy boisterous career from room to room , to visit , [he]_99-percy declared , and rouse all the bogies and spirits that must have slept while [he]_99-percy was away : [Herbert]_102-herbert 's quieter but equal interest in all that had been done , studied , read , even thought and felt , in [his]_99-percy absence : the pride and delight of both in the accounts of [Edward]_76-edward , [Percy]_99-percy insisting that to have such [a gallant fellow of [a brother]_{1588-a brother}]_{2275-a gallant fellow of a brother} , ought to make [Ellen]_113-ellen as lively and happy as [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , who was blessed nearly in the same measure — looking so excessively mischievous as [he]_99-percy spoke , that , though [[his]_99-percy sister]_{561-his sister} did not at first understand the inference , it was speedily discovered , and called for a laughing attack on [his]_99-percy outrageous self - conceit . [Herbert]_102-herbert more earnestly regretted to see [Ellen]_113-ellen looking as sad and pale as when [she]_113-ellen was quite [a little girl]_{5124-a little girl} , and took upon [himself]_102-herbert gently to reproach [her]_113-ellen for not being , or , at least , trying to make [herself]_113-ellen more cheerful , when [she]_113-ellen had so many blessings around [her]_113-ellen , and was so superlatively happy in having such [a brave and noble - hearted brother]_{2279-a brave and noble - hearted brother} . If [he]_102-herbert did not understand [her]_113-ellen manner as [he]_102-herbert spoke , both [he]_102-herbert and [the less observant Percy]_{2280-the less observant percy} were destined to be still more puzzled and grieved as a few weeks passed , and [they]_2281-they at first fancied and then were quite sure that [she]_113-ellen was completely altered , even in [her]_113-ellen manner to [[their]_2281-they mother]_{488-their mother} . Instead of being so gentle , so submissive , so quietly happy to deserve the smallest sign of approval from [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , [she]_113-ellen now seemed completely to shrink from [her]_113-ellen , either in fear , or that [she]_113-ellen no longer cared either to please or to obey [her]_113-ellen . By imperceptible , but sure degrees , this painful conviction pressed itself on the minds of [the whole party]_{2283-the whole party} , even to [the light - hearted , unsuspicious Emmeline , to whom it was so utterly]_{2284-the light - hearted , unsuspicious emmeline , to whom it was so utterly} incomprehensible , that [she]_113-ellen declared it must be all fancy , and that [they]_2281-they were all so happy that [their]_2281-they heads must be a little turned . " Even [mamma]_3420-mamma 's ! "_{[120-caroline]} observed [Caroline]_120-caroline , dryly . " No ; but [she]_3420-mamma is [the only sensible person among [us]_2281-they]_{5831-the only sensible person among us} , for [she]_3420-mamma has not said any thing about it , and , therefore , [I]_120-caroline dare say does not even see that which [we]_2281-they are making such a wonder about . "_{[120-caroline]} " [I]_113-ellen do not agree with [you]_120-caroline , for [I]_113-ellen rather think [she]_3420-mamma has both seen and felt it before either of [us]_2281-they , and that because it so grieves and perplexes [her]_3420-mamma , [she]_3420-mamma can not speculate or even speak about it as [we]_2281-they do . Time will explain it , [I]_113-ellen suppose , but it is very disagreeable . "_[113-ellen] It was , indeed , no fancy ; but little could [these young observers]_{2285-these young observers} or even [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} suspect that which was matter of speculation or grief to [them]_{2285-these young observers} , was almost madness in its agony of torture to [Ellen]_113-ellen ; who , as weeks passed , and but very trifling returns for [her]_113-ellen trinkets were made [her]_113-ellen by [Mrs. Langford]_{204-mrs. langford} , felt as if [her]_113-ellen brain must fail before [she]_113-ellen could indeed accomplish [her]_113-ellen still ardently desired plan , and give back the missing sum to [Robert]_102-herbert , without calling suspicion on [herself]_113-ellen . [She]_113-ellen felt to [herself]_113-ellen as changed as [she]_113-ellen appeared to those that observed [her]_113-ellen ; a black impenetrable pall seemed to have enveloped [her]_113-ellen heart and mind , closing up both , even from those affections , those pursuits , so dear to [her]_113-ellen before . [She]_113-ellen longed for some change from the dense impenetrable fog , even if it were some heavy blow — tangible suffering of the fiercest kind was prayed for , rather than the stagnation which caused [her]_113-ellen to move , act , and speak as if under some fatal spell , and look with such terror on the relation [she]_113-ellen had so loved , that even to be banished from [her]_113-ellen presence [she]_113-ellen imagined would be less agony , than to associate with [her]_113-ellen , as the miserable , guilty being [she]_113-ellen had become . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} watched and was anxious , but [she]_113-ellen kept both [her]_113-ellen observations and anxiety to [herself]_113-ellen , for [she]_113-ellen would not throw even a temporary cloud over the happiness of [[her]_113-ellen children]_{322-her children} . A fortnight after [the young men]_{4058-the young men} 's arrival , letters came most unexpectedly from [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , dated twelve days after [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had left , and brought by [a Scottish trader whom [they]_{4058-the young men} had encountered near [the Shetland Isles]_{64-the shetland isles} , and who had faithfully forwarded [them]_2289-them from [Edinburgh]_65-edinburgh , as [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had promised]_{2288-a scottish trader whom they had encountered near the shetland isles , and who had faithfully forwarded them from edinburgh , as he had promised} . The voyage had been most delightful , and [they]_{4058-the young men} hoped to reach [Feroe]_54-feroe in another week . [He]_{81-mrs. hamilton} wrote in the highest terms of [Morton]_{162-mr. morton} ; the comfort of such companionship , and the intrinsic worth of [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} character , which could never be known , until so closely thrown together . " [I]_{81-mrs. hamilton} may thank [[our]_{4058-the young men} [Percy]_99-percy]_{5832-our percy} for [this excellent friend]_{5833-this excellent friend} , "_{[81-mrs. hamilton]} [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} wrote . " [He]_99-percy tells [me]_{81-mrs. hamilton} [his]_99-percy brave and honest avowal of those verses , which had given [him]_99-percy so much pain , attracted [him]_99-percy more toward [me]_{81-mrs. hamilton} and [mine]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , than even [my]_{81-mrs. hamilton} own efforts to obtain [his]_99-percy friendship . [Percy]_99-percy little thought when [he]_99-percy so conquered [himself]_99-percy the help [he]_99-percy would give [[his]_99-percy father]_{406-his father} — so little do [we]_5835-we know to what hidden good , the straightforward , honest performance of a duty , however painful , may lead . "_{[81-mrs. hamilton]} " [[My]_99-percy father]_{3451-my father} should thank [you]_{330-his mother} , [mother]_3430-mother , not [me]_99-percy , "_[99-percy] was [Percy]_99-percy 's rejoinder , with a flushed cheek and eye sparkling with animation , as [[his]_99-percy mother]_{330-his mother} read the passage to [him]_99-percy . " No such thing , [Percy]_99-percy ; [I]_{330-his mother} will not have [you]_99-percy give [me]_{330-his mother} all the merit of [your]_99-percy good deeds . [I]_{330-his mother} did but try to guide [you]_99-percy , [[my]_{330-his mother} boy]_{868-my boy} ; neither the disposition to receive , nor the fruit springing from the seeds [I]_{330-his mother} planted , is from [me]_{330-his mother} . "_{[330-his mother]} " [They]_2291-they are , [mother]_3430-mother , more than [you]_3430-mother are in the least aware of ! "_[99-percy] replied [he]_99-percy , with even more than [his]_99-percy usual impetuosity , for [they]_2291-they happened to be quite alone ; " [I]_99-percy thought [I]_99-percy knew all [your]_3430-mother worth before [I]_99-percy went to [Oxford]_36-oxford , but [I]_99-percy have mingled with [the world]_{592-the world} now ; [I]_99-percy have been [a silent listener and observer of such sentiments]_{5841-a silent listener and observer of such sentiments} , such actions , as [I]_99-percy know would naturally have been [mine]_99-percy , and though in [themselves]_2291-they perhaps of little moment , saw [they]_2291-they led to irregularity , laxity of principle and conduct , which now [I]_99-percy can not feel as other than actual guilt ; and what saved [me]_99-percy from the same ? The principle which from [my]_99-percy infancy [you]_3430-mother taught . [I]_99-percy have questioned , led on in conversation , [these young men]_{5842-these young men} to speak of [their]_{5842-these young men} boyhood and [[their]_{5842-these young men} homes]_{5843-their homes} , and there were [none guided]_{5844-none guided} , loved as [I]_99-percy was ; [none whose parents]_{5845-none whose parents} had so blended firmness with indulgence , as while [my]_99-percy wild , free spirits were unchecked , prevented the ascendency of evil . [I]_99-percy could not do as [they]_{5842-these young men} did . [Mother]_3430-mother ! love [you]_3430-mother more , perhaps , [I]_99-percy can not , but every time [I]_99-percy join [the world]_{592-the world} , fresh from [this home sanctuary]_{5848-this home sanctuary} , [I]_99-percy must bless and venerate [you]_3430-mother more ! To walk through [this world]_{3617-this world} with any degree of security , [man]_1176-man must have principle based on the highest source ; and that principle can only be instilled by the constant example of [a mother]_{3503-a mother} and the association of [a home]_{4945-a home} ! "_[99-percy] [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} could not answer , but — a very unusual sign of weakness with [her]_2292-her — tears of the most intense happiness poured down on the cheek of [[her]_2292-her son]_{326-her son} , as in [his]_{326-her son} impetuosity [he]_{326-her son} knelt before [her]_2292-her , and ended [his]_{326-her son} very unusually grave appeal by the same loving caresses [he]_{326-her son} was wo nt to lavish on [her]_2292-her , in [his]_{326-her son} infancy and boyhood . The letters from [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , of course , greatly increased the general hilarity , and the arrival of [[Mr. Grahame]_{148-mr. grahame} 's family]_{2294-mr. grahame 's family} about the same time , added fresh zest to youthful enjoyment . In the few months [she]_2292-her spent at [Moorlands]_28-moorlands , [Annie]_129-annie actually condescended to be agreeable . [Percy]_99-percy , and [some of [[Percy]_99-percy 's boyish friends]_{2296-percy 's boyish friends}]_{2295-some of percy 's boyish friends} , now [young men]_{2297-young men} , as [himself]_99-percy , were quite different to [her]_2292-her usual society , and as [she]_2292-her very well knew the only way to win [Percy]_99-percy 's even casual notice was to throw off [her]_2292-her affectation and superciliousness as much as possible , [she]_2292-her would do so , and be pleasing to an extent that surprised [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , who , always inclined to judge kindly , hoped more regarding [Annie]_129-annie than [she]_2292-her had done yet . Little could [her]_2292-her pure mind conceive that , in addition to the pleasure of flirting with [Percy]_99-percy , [Annie]_129-annie acted in this manner actually to throw [her]_2292-her off [her]_2292-her guard , and so give [her]_2292-her a wider field for [her]_2292-her machinations when [Caroline]_120-caroline should enter the [London]_13-london world ; a time to which , from [her]_2292-her thirteenth year , [she]_2292-her had secretly looked as the opportunity to make [Caroline]_120-caroline so conduct [herself]_120-caroline , as to cover [[her]_120-caroline mother]_{345-her mother} with shame and misery , and bring [her]_2292-her fine plans of education to failure and contempt . [Mrs. Greville]_{140-mrs. greville} and [Mary]_143-mary were also constantly at [the Hall]_{836-the hall} , or having [[their]_2300-their friends]_{4208-their friends} with [them]_2300-their ; [Herbert]_102-herbert and [Mary]_143-mary advancing in words or feelings not much farther than [they]_2300-their had ever done as [boy]_1912-boy and [girl]_1913-girl , but still feeling and acknowledging to [[their]_2300-their mutual mothers]_{2304-their mutual mothers} that , next to [them]_2300-their , [they]_2300-their loved [each other]_{938-each other} better than all [the world]_{592-the world} , and enjoyed [each other]_{938-each other} 's society more than any other pleasure which life could offer . Excursions by land or [water]_2308-water , sometimes on horseback , sometimes in [the carriages]_{2309-the carriages} , constant little family reunions , either at [Oakwood]_12-oakwood , [Moorlands]_28-moorlands , or [Greville Manor]_{30-greville manor} , passed days and evenings most delightfully , to [all but [Ellen]_113-ellen , who did not dare stay at [home]_563-home as often as inclination prompted , and whose forced gayety]_{2310-all but ellen , who did not dare stay at home as often as inclination prompted , and whose forced gayety} , when in society , did but increase the inward torture when alone . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had as yet refrained from speaking to [her]_113-ellen — still trying to believe [she]_113-ellen must be mistaken , and there really was nothing strange about [her]_113-ellen . One morning , however , about a month after [the young men]_{4058-the young men} had been at [home]_563-home , [her]_113-ellen attention was unavoidably arrested by hearing [Percy]_99-percy gayly ask [[his]_99-percy cousin]_{2154-his cousin} — " [Nelly]_113-ellen , [Tiny]_130-tiny wrote [me]_113-ellen such a description of [your]_113-ellen birthday watch , that [I]_113-ellen quite forgot , [I]_113-ellen have been dying to see it all the time [I]_113-ellen have been at [home]_563-home ; show it [me]_113-ellen now , there 's [a dear]_{5854-a dear} ; it can not be much use to [you]_113-ellen , that 's certain , for [I]_113-ellen have never seen [you]_113-ellen take it from its hiding - place . "_[113-ellen] [Ellen]_113-ellen answered , almost inarticulately , it was not in [her]_113-ellen power to show it [him]_99-percy . " Not in [your]_113-ellen power ! [You]_113-ellen must be dreaming , [Nell]_113-ellen , as [I]_113-ellen think [you]_113-ellen are very often now . Why , what do [you]_113-ellen wear that chain , and seal and key for , if [you]_113-ellen have not [your]_113-ellen watch on too ? "_[113-ellen] " Where is [your]_113-ellen watch , [Ellen]_113-ellen ? and why , if [you]_113-ellen are not wearing it , do [you]_113-ellen make [us]_5855-us suppose [you]_113-ellen are ? "_{[81-mrs. hamilton]} interrupted [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , startled out of all idea that [Ellen]_113-ellen was changed only in fancy . [Ellen]_113-ellen was silent , and to [Percy]_99-percy 's imagination , so sullenly and insolently so , that [he]_99-percy became indignant . " Did [you]_113-ellen hear [[my]_99-percy mother]_{890-my mother} speak to [you]_113-ellen , [Ellen]_113-ellen ? Why do n't [you]_113-ellen answer ? "_[99-percy] " Because [I]_113-ellen thought [my]_113-ellen watch was [my]_113-ellen own to do what [I]_113-ellen liked with , to wear or to put away , "_[113-ellen] was the reply ; over neither words nor tone of which , had [she]_113-ellen at that moment any control , for in [her]_113-ellen agonized terror , [she]_113-ellen did not in the least know what [she]_113-ellen said . " How dare [you]_113-ellen answer so , [Ellen]_113-ellen ? Leave [the room]_{356-the room} , or ask [[my]_99-percy mother]_{890-my mother} 's pardon at once , "_[99-percy] replied [Percy]_99-percy , [his]_99-percy eyes flashing with such unusual anger that it terrified [her]_113-ellen still more , and under the same kind of spell [she]_113-ellen was turning to obey [him]_99-percy , without attempting the apology [he]_99-percy demanded . " Stay , [Ellen]_113-ellen ; this extraordinary conduct must not go on any longer without notice on [my]_113-ellen part . [I]_113-ellen have borne with it , [I]_113-ellen fear , too long already . Leave [us]_5859-us , [[my]_113-ellen dear]_{3485-my dear} [Percy]_99-percy ; [I]_113-ellen would rather speak with [[your]_99-percy cousin]_{929-your cousin} alone . "_[113-ellen] " [I]_99-percy fear it will be useless , [mother]_3430-mother ; what has come over [Ellen]_113-ellen [I]_99-percy can not imagine , but [I]_99-percy never saw such an incomprehensible change in [my]_99-percy life . "_[99-percy] [He]_99-percy departed , unconscious that [Ellen]_113-ellen , who was near the door transfixed at [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} 's words , made a rapid movement as to catch hold of [his]_99-percy arm , and that the words , " Do not go , [Percy]_99-percy , for pity 's sake ! "_[113-ellen] trembled on [her]_113-ellen pale lips , but they emitted no sound . What passed in the interview , which lasted more than an hour , [no one]_{3540-no one} knew ; but to the watchful eyes of [[her]_{367-her aunt} affectionate children]_{2317-her affectionate children} , there were traces of very unusual disturbance on [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's expressive countenance when [she]_{367-her aunt} rejoined [them]_{2317-her affectionate children} ; and the dark rim round [Ellen]_113-ellen 's eyes , the deadly pallor of [her]_113-ellen cheeks and lips seemed to denote that it had not been deficient in suffering to [her]_113-ellen ; though not one sign of penitence , one word of acknowledgment that [she]_113-ellen was , and had been for some weeks in error , by [her]_113-ellen extraordinary conduct — not even a softening tear could [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} elicit . [She]_113-ellen had never before so failed — never , not even when the disappearance of [[her]_113-ellen allowance]_{2319-her allowance} had caused extreme displeasure , had [Ellen]_113-ellen evinced such an apparently sullen spirit of determined hardihood . [She]_113-ellen would not attempt defense or reply to the acted falsehood with which [she]_113-ellen was charged , of appearing to wear [her]_113-ellen watch when [she]_113-ellen did not , or to say what [she]_113-ellen had done with it . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} spoke to [her]_113-ellen till [she]_113-ellen was almost exhausted , for [her]_113-ellen own disappointment was most painful , and [she]_113-ellen had not a gleam of hope to urge [her]_113-ellen on . [Her]_113-ellen concluding words were these — " That [you]_113-ellen are under the evil influence of [some unconfessed and most heinous fault]_{5863-some unconfessed and most heinous fault} , [Ellen]_113-ellen , [I]_2320-i am perfectly convinced ; what it is time will reveal . [I]_2320-i give [you]_113-ellen one month to decide on [your]_113-ellen course of action ; subdue [this sullen spirit]_{5864-this sullen spirit} , confess whatever error [you]_113-ellen may have been led into , and so change [your]_113-ellen conduct as to be again [the child [I]_2320-i so loved]_{5865-the child i so loved} , spite of occasional faults and errors , and [I]_2320-i will pardon all that is past . If , at the end of a month , [I]_2320-i find [you]_113-ellen persisting in the same course of rebellion and defiance , regardless alike of [your]_113-ellen duty to [[your]_113-ellen God]_{5866-your god} and to [me]_2320-i , [I]_2320-i shall adopt some measures to compel submission . [I]_2320-i had hoped to bring up all [[my]_2320-i children]_{3511-my children} under [my]_2320-i own eye , and by [my]_2320-i own efforts ; but if [I]_2320-i am not permitted so to do , [I]_2320-i know [my]_2320-i duty too well to shrink from the alternative . [You]_113-ellen will no longer remain under [my]_2320-i care ; some severer guardian and more rigid discipline may bring [you]_113-ellen to a sense of [your]_113-ellen duty . [I]_2320-i advise [you]_113-ellen to think well on this subject , [Ellen]_113-ellen ; [you]_113-ellen know [me]_2320-i too well , [I]_2320-i think , to imagine that [I]_2320-i speak in mere jest . "_[2320-i] [She]_2320-i had left [the room]_{356-the room} as [she]_2320-i spoke , so , that if [Ellen]_113-ellen had intended reply , there was no time for it . But [she]_2320-i could not have spoken . Go from [Oakwood]_12-oakwood , and in anger ! Yet it was but just ; it was better , perhaps , than the lingering torture [she]_2320-i was then enduring — better to hide [her]_2320-i shame and misery among [strangers]_{3543-strangers} , than remain among the good , the happy — [the guilty wretch [she]_2320-i was]_{2323-the guilty wretch she was} . [She]_2320-i sat and thought till feeling itself became utterly exhausted , and again the spell , the stupor of indifference , crept over [her]_2320-i . [She]_2320-i would have confessed , but [she]_2320-i knew that it could never satisfy , as the half confession [she]_2320-i would have been compelled to make it ; and the dread of [herself]_2320-i , that [she]_2320-i should betray [[her]_2320-i brother]_{384-her brother} , sealed [her]_2320-i lips . [Robert]_102-herbert 's story , and the strange disappearance of the notes , had of course been imparted to [Percy]_99-percy and [Herbert]_102-herbert . In fact , the change in [the young man]_{757-the young man} , from being as light - hearted as [[his]_{757-the young man} young master]_{1156-his young master} [himself]_{757-the young man} , to gravity and almost gloom — for the conviction of [[his]_{757-the young man} master]_{5692-his master} and [mistress]_597-mistress , as to [his]_{757-the young man} innocence could not cheer [him]_{757-the young man} , while suspicion against [him]_{757-the young man} still actuated [Morris]_134-morris , and [many of [the other servants]_{2188-the other servants}]_{2329-many of the other servants} — would have called [the young men]_{4058-the young men} 's attention toward [him]_{757-the young man} at once . The various paths and glades between [the Hall]_{836-the hall} and [[Mrs. Langford]_{204-mrs. langford} 's cottage]_{2161-mrs. langford 's cottage} had been so searched , that unless the storm had destroyed them or blown the notes very far away , it seemed next to impossible , that they could not be found . [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} knew the number of each note , had told them to [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} wife]_{521-his wife} , and gave notice at [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} banker]_{2335-his banker} 's that though [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} did not wish [them]_{4058-the young men} stopped , [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} should like to know , if possible , when [they]_{4058-the young men} had passed . No notice of such a thing had been sent to [Oakwood]_12-oakwood , and it seemed curious that , if found and appropriated , they should not yet have been used , for ten weeks had now slipped away since [their]_{4058-the young men} loss , and nearly nine since the letters had been sent to [Edward]_76-edward and [[his]_76-edward captain]_{5418-his captain} , answers to which had not yet been received ; but that was nothing remarkable , for [Edward]_76-edward seldom wrote above once in three or four months . It was nearing the end of August , when one afternoon [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} was prevented joining [[her]_{521-his wife} children]_{322-her children} in a sail up [the Dart]_{14-the dart} , though it had been a long promise , and [Percy]_99-percy was , in consequence , excessively indignant ; but certain matters relative to [[the steward]_{5685-the steward} 's province]_{2339-the steward 's province} demanded a reference to [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} mistress]_{2340-his mistress} , and [Morris]_134-morris was compelled to request a longer interview than usual . [Ellen]_113-ellen had chosen to join the aquatic party , a decision now so contrary to [her]_113-ellen usual habits , that [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} could not help fancying it was to prevent the chance of being any time alone with [her]_113-ellen . There had been no change in [her]_113-ellen manner , except a degree more care to control the disrespectful or pettish answer ; but nothing to give hope that the spirit was changing , and that the hidden error , whatever it might be , would be acknowledged and atoned . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} was nerving [her]_{521-his wife} own mind for the performance of the alternative [she]_{521-his wife} had placed before [[her]_{521-his wife} niece]_{372-her niece} ; passing many a sleepless night in painful meditations . If to send [her]_113-ellen from [Oakwood]_12-oakwood were necessary , would it produce the effect [she]_{521-his wife} wished ? with whom could [she]_{521-his wife} place [her]_113-ellen ? and what satisfactory reason could [she]_{521-his wife} assign for doing so ? [She]_{521-his wife} knew there would be a hundred tongues to cry shame on [her]_{521-his wife} for sending [[her]_{521-his wife} orphan niece]_{2342-her orphan niece} from [[her]_{521-his wife} roof]_{2343-her roof} , but that was but one scarcely - tasted bitter drop in the many other sources of anxiety . But still these were but [her]_113-ellen nightly sorrows ; [she]_113-ellen might have been paler when [she]_113-ellen rose , but though [[her]_{521-his wife} children]_{322-her children} felt quite sure that [Ellen]_113-ellen was grieving [her]_113-ellen exceedingly , [her]_113-ellen cheerful sympathy in [their]_{322-her children} enjoyments and pursuits never waned for a moment . [Morris]_134-morris left [her]_113-ellen at six o'clock , all [his]_134-morris business so satisfactorily accomplished , that [the old man]_{3798-the old man} was quite happy , declaring to [Ellis]_135-ellis , [he]_134-morris had always thought [[his]_134-morris mistress]_{2340-his mistress} unlike [any one else]_{383-any one else} before ; but such a clear head for reducing difficult accounts and tangled affairs to order , [he]_134-morris had never imagined could either be possessed by , or was any business of [a woman]_{769-a woman} . Not in the least aware of the wondering admiration [she]_113-ellen had excited , [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had called [Robert]_102-herbert and proceeded to [the school - room]_{544-the school - room} to get a pattern of embroidery and a note , which [Caroline]_120-caroline had requested might be sent to [Annie Grahame]_129-annie that evening ; the note was on the table , but the pattern and some silks [she]_113-ellen had neglected to put up till [[her]_113-ellen brothers]_{4973-her brothers} were ready , and [they]_{4973-her brothers} so hurried [her]_113-ellen , that [[her]_113-ellen mother]_{345-her mother} had promised [she]_{345-her mother} would see to it for [her]_113-ellen . The embroidery box was in [a paneled closet of [the school - room]_{544-the school - room}]_{2352-a paneled closet of the school - room} , rather high up , and in taking especial care to bring it safely down , [Robert]_102-herbert loosened a desk from its equilibrium , and it fell to the ground with such force as to break into several pieces , and scatter all its contents over the floor . It was [Ellen]_113-ellen 's ! the pretty rosewood desk which had been [her]_113-ellen gift , that memorable New Year 's Eve , and was now the repository of [her]_113-ellen dread secret . It was actually in fragments , especially where the ink - stands and pens had been , and the spring broken , the secret drawer burst open , and all its contents were disclosed . [Robert]_102-herbert was much too concerned to think of any thing but [his]_102-herbert own extreme carelessness , and [[his]_102-herbert mistress]_{2340-his mistress} 's reprimand ; and [he]_102-herbert busied [himself]_102-herbert in hastily picking up the contents , and placing them carefully on the table , preparatory to [their]_{4973-her brothers} arrangement by [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} in a drawer of the table which [she]_113-ellen was emptying for the purpose . [She]_113-ellen laid them carefully in , and was looking over a book of very nicely written French themes , glad there was at least one thing for which [she]_113-ellen might be satisfied with [Ellen]_113-ellen , when an exclamation — " Why , there is one of them ! [I]_102-herbert am so glad , "_{[102-herbert]} and as sudden , a stop and half - checked groan from [Robert]_102-herbert startled [her]_113-ellen . [She]_113-ellen looked inquiringly at [him]_102-herbert , but [he]_102-herbert only covered [his]_102-herbert face with one hand , while the other remained quite unconsciously covering the secret drawer out of which the contents had not fallen , but were merely disclosed . " What is the matter , [Robert]_102-herbert ? what have [you]_102-herbert found to cause such contradictory exclamations ? Speak , for [God]_85-god 's sake ! "_{[81-mrs. hamilton]} escaped from [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's lips , for by that lightning touch of association , memory , thought , whatever it may be , which joins events together , and unites present with past , so that almost a life seems crowded in a moment , such a suspicion flashed upon [her]_113-ellen as to make [her]_113-ellen feel sick and giddy , and turn so unusually pale , as effectually to rouse [Robert]_102-herbert , and make [him]_102-herbert spring up to get [her]_113-ellen a chair . " Nothing , [madam]_1495-madam , indeed it can be nothing — [I]_102-herbert must be mistaken — [I]_102-herbert am acting like [a fool]_{1366-a fool} this afternoon , doing the most unheard - of mischief , and then frightening [you]_1495-madam and [myself]_102-herbert at shadows . "_{[102-herbert]} " This evasion will not do , [Robert]_102-herbert ; give [me]_102-herbert the papers at which [you]_102-herbert were so startled . "_{[102-herbert]} [He]_102-herbert hesitated , and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} extended [her]_113-ellen hand to take them [herself]_113-ellen ; but [her]_113-ellen hand and arm so shook , that to hide it from [her]_113-ellen domestic , [she]_113-ellen let it quietly drop by [her]_113-ellen side , and repeated [her]_113-ellen command in a tone that brooked no farther delay . [He]_102-herbert placed the little drawer and its contents in [her]_113-ellen hand , and , without a word , withdrew into the farthest window . For full five , it might have been ten minutes , there was silence so deep , a pin - fall might have been loudly heard . It was broken by [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} . " [Robert]_102-herbert ! "_{[81-mrs. hamilton]} There was neither change nor tremor in the voice , but the fearful expression of forcibly - controlled suffering on [her]_113-ellen deathlike countenance so awed and terrified [him]_102-herbert , [he]_102-herbert besought [her]_113-ellen , almost inarticulately , to let [him]_102-herbert fetch a glass of water — wine — something — " It is not at all necessary , [[my]_102-herbert good boy]_{3415-my good boy} ; [I]_102-herbert am perfectly well . This is , [I]_102-herbert believe , the only note that can be identified as one of those [you]_{3415-my good boy} lost ; these smaller ones ( [she]_113-ellen pointed to three , of one , two , and four pounds each , which [Ellen]_113-ellen had received at long intervals from [Mrs. Langford]_{204-mrs. langford} ) have nothing to do with it ? "_{[102-herbert]} " No , [madam]_1495-madam , and that — that may not — "_{[102-herbert]} " [We]_5872-we can not doubt it , [Robert]_102-herbert , [I]_102-herbert have its number ; [I]_102-herbert need not detain [you]_102-herbert , however , any longer . Take care of these broken fragments , and if they can be repaired , see that it is done . Here is [Miss Hamilton]_{182-miss hamilton} 's note and parcel . [I]_102-herbert believe [you]_102-herbert are to wait for an answer , at all events inquire . [I]_102-herbert need not ask [you]_102-herbert to be silent on this discovery , till [I]_102-herbert have spoken to [Miss Fortescue]_{87-miss fortescue} , or to trust [my]_102-herbert promise to make [your]_102-herbert innocence fully known . "_{[102-herbert]} " Not by the exposure of [Miss Ellen]_113-ellen ! Oh , [madam]_1495-madam , this is but one of them , the smallest one — it may have come to [her]_113-ellen by the merest chance — see how stained it is with damp — for the sake of mercy , oh , [madam]_1495-madam , spare [her]_113-ellen and [yourself]_102-herbert too ! "_[2355-his] and in the earnestness of [his]_2355-his supplication [Robert]_102-herbert caught hold of [her]_2356-her dress , hardly knowing [himself]_2355-his how [he]_2355-his had found courage so to speak . [[His]_2355-his mistress]_{2340-his mistress} 's lips quivered . " It is a kind thought , [Robert]_102-herbert , and if justice to [you]_102-herbert and mercy to [the guilty]_{5875-the guilty} can , by any extenuating clause unknown to [me]_{2340-his mistress} now , be united , trust [me]_{2340-his mistress} , [they]_5876-they shall . Now go . "_{[2340-his mistress]} [He]_102-herbert obeyed in silence , and still [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} changed not that outward seeming of rigid calm . [She]_2356-her continued to put every paper and letter away ( merely retaining the notes ) , locked the drawer , took possession of the key , and then retired to [[her]_2356-her own room]_{4399-her own room} , where for half an hour [she]_2356-her remained alone . It is not [ours]_2359-we to lift the vail from that brief interval . [We]_2359-we must have performed [our]_2359-we task badly indeed , if [[our]_2359-we readers]_{524-our readers} can not so enter into the lofty character , the inward strivings and outward conduct of [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , as not to imagine more satisfactorily to [themselves]_{524-our readers} than [we]_2359-we could write it , the heart - crushing agony of that one half hour ; and anguish as it was , it did but herald deeper . There was not even partial escape for [her]_2356-her , as there would have been had [[her]_2356-her husband]_{340-her husband} been at [home]_563-home . Examination of [the culprit , whose mysterious conduct was so fatally explained ,]_{2363-the culprit , whose mysterious conduct was so fatally explained ,} that [she]_2356-her did not even dare hope this was the only missing note [she]_2356-her had appropriated — compelled confession of the use to which it had been applied — public acknowledgment of [Robert]_102-herbert 's perfect truth and innocence , all crowded on [her]_2356-her mind like fearful specters of pain and misery , from which there could be no escape ; and from whom did [they]_2364-they spring ? [Ellen]_113-ellen ! [the child of [her]_2356-her adoption]_{2365-the child of her adoption} , of [her]_2356-her love , whose character [she]_2356-her had so tried to mold to good — whose young life [she]_2356-her had so sought to make happier than its earliest years — for whom [she]_2356-her had so hoped , so prayed — so trusted — had borne with anxiety and care ; tended in physical suffering with such untiring gentleness , such exhaustless love : and now ! It was nearly seven when [the young party]_{3941-the young party} returned , delighted as usual with [their]_{3941-the young party} afternoon 's amusement ; and [Percy]_99-percy , shouting loudly for [[his]_99-percy mother]_{330-his mother} , giving vent to an exclamation of impatience at finding [she]_{330-his mother} was still invisible . " [I]_99-percy shall wish [Morris]_134-morris and all [his]_134-morris concerns at the bottom of the Dart , if [he]_134-morris is so to engross [[my]_99-percy mother]_{890-my mother} when [I]_99-percy want [her]_{330-his mother} , "_[99-percy] [he]_99-percy said , as [he]_99-percy flung [himself]_99-percy full length on a couch in [the music - room]_{5016-the music - room} , desiring [Emmeline]_78-emmeline to make haste and disrobe , as [he]_99-percy must have an air on the harp to soothe [his]_99-percy troubled spirit . [Herbert]_102-herbert , to look for a poem , the beauty of which [he]_102-herbert had been discussing with [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} during [their]_2369-their sail , entered [the library]_{3958-the library} , but perceiving [[his]_102-herbert mother]_{330-his mother} , would have retreated , thinking [her]_{330-his mother} still engaged ; but [she]_{330-his mother} looked up as the door opened , and perceiving [him]_102-herbert , smiled , and asked [him]_102-herbert if [they]_2369-their had had a pleasant afternoon . [He]_102-herbert looked at [her]_{330-his mother} earnestly , without making any reply ; then approaching [her]_{330-his mother} , took one of [her]_{330-his mother} hands in [his]_102-herbert , and said , fondly — " Forgive [me]_102-herbert , [dearest mother]_{1229-dearest mother} ; [I]_102-herbert ought not , perhaps , to ask , but [I]_102-herbert am sure something is wrong . [You]_{330-his mother} are ill — anxious — may [I]_102-herbert not share it ? Can [I]_102-herbert do nothing ? "_{[102-herbert]} " Nothing , [[my]_102-herbert [Herbert]_102-herbert]_{1231-my herbert} ; bless [you]_102-herbert for [your]_102-herbert watchful love — it is such comfort . "_{[102-herbert]} And the long pressure of the hand which so warmly clasped [hers]_{330-his mother} , the involuntary tenderness with which these few words were said , betrayed how much [she]_{330-his mother} needed such comfort at that moment , but [she]_{330-his mother} rallied instantly . " Do not look so anxious , [dear boy]_{3450-dear boy} , [I]_{330-his mother} am not ill — not quite happy , perhaps , but [we]_5881-we know where to look for strength to bear trial , [Herbert]_102-herbert . Wait tea for [me]_{330-his mother} till eight o'clock ; it is probable [I]_{330-his mother} may be engaged till then ; "_{[330-his mother]} and , satisfied that [she]_{330-his mother} did not wish to be more explicit , [Herbert]_102-herbert took [his]_102-herbert book , and somewhat sorrowfully left [her]_{330-his mother} . Ten minutes more , and the massive door unclosed again , but no step advanced , for [the intruder]_{2372-the intruder} remained rooted where the door had closed . It was [a very large and lofty room , with an arched and Gothic roof , of black and fretted oak]_{2373-a very large and lofty room , with an arched and gothic roof , of black and fretted oak} , the walls and chimney - piece of the same material and most elaborate workmanship . A sort of dais , remnant of olden times , divided the upper part of [the room]_{356-the room} , by two or three steps , from the lower . On [this dais]_{2375-this dais} was the raised reading - desk of superbly carved oak , at which [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} officiated morning and evening , and two library tables of more modern workmanship stood on each side , but rather lower down . Except the massive oaken chairs and couches , and three or four curious tables scattered about , and the well - filled book - cases , forming , to the height of five feet , the border , as it were , of the fretted wood - work of the walls , and filling up the niches formed by the windows ; the lower part of [the hall]_{836-the hall} , two - thirds of the length , was comparatively unoccupied , showing [its]_2377-its vast space and superb roof to still greater advantage . The magnificently stained windows , one on the dais — [a deep oriel]_{2378-a deep oriel} — threw such subdued light into [the room]_{356-the room} , as accorded well with [its]_{356-the room} other appointments ; but as evening advanced , gave it that sort of soft , holy light , which always impresses the spirit with a species of awe . [We]_2380-we do not think it was that feeling alone which so overpowered [the second intruder]_{2381-the second intruder} , as to arrest [her]_{2381-the second intruder} spell - bound on the threshold . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} was seated at one of the tables on the dais nearest the oriel window , the light from which fell full on [her]_{2381-the second intruder} , giving [her]_{2381-the second intruder} figure , though [she]_{2381-the second intruder} was seated naturally enough in one of the large , maroon velvet , oaken chairs , an unusual effect of dignity and command , and impressing [the terrified beholder]_{2382-the terrified beholder} with such a sensation of awe , that had [her]_{2381-the second intruder} life depended on it , [she]_{2381-the second intruder} could not for that one minute have gone forward ; and even when desired to do so by the words — " [I]_{2381-the second intruder} desired [your]_{2381-the second intruder} presence , [Ellen]_113-ellen , because [I]_{2381-the second intruder} wished to speak to [you]_{2381-the second intruder} ; come here without any more delay,"—how_{[2381-the second intruder]} [she]_{2381-the second intruder} walked the whole length of [that interminable room]_{2383-that interminable room} , and stood facing [[her]_{2381-the second intruder} aunt]_{367-her aunt} , [she]_{2381-the second intruder} never knew . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} for a full minute did not speak , but [she]_{2381-the second intruder} fixed that searching look , to which [we]_2385-we have once before alluded , upon [Ellen]_113-ellen 's face ; and then said , in a tone which , though very low and calm , expressed as much as that earnest look — " [Ellen]_113-ellen ! is it necessary for [me]_{2381-the second intruder} to tell [you]_{2381-the second intruder} why [you]_{2381-the second intruder} are here — necessary to produce the proof that [my]_{2381-the second intruder} words are right , and that [you]_{2381-the second intruder} have been influenced by the fearful effects of some unconfessed and most heinous sin ? Little did [I]_{2381-the second intruder} dream its nature . "_{[2381-the second intruder]} For a moment [Ellen]_113-ellen stood as turned to stone , as white and rigid — the next [she]_113-ellen had sunk down , with a wild , bitter cry at [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's feet , and buried [her]_113-ellen face in [her]_{2381-the second intruder} hands . " Is it true — can it be true — that [you]_{2381-the second intruder} , [offspring of [[my]_113-ellen own sister]_{3526-my own sister} , dear to [me]_113-ellen , cherished by [me]_113-ellen as [[my]_113-ellen own child]_{5884-my own child}]_{5882-offspring of my own sister , dear to me , cherished by me as my own child} — [you]_{2381-the second intruder} have been [the guilty one]_{2218-the guilty one} to appropriate , and conceal the appropriation of money , which has been a source of distress by its loss , and the suspicion thence proceeding , for the last seven weeks?—that [you]_{2381-the second intruder} could listen to [[your]_{2381-the second intruder} uncle]_{3427-your uncle} 's words , absolving [[his]_{3427-your uncle} whole household]_{5887-his whole household} as incapable of a deed which was actual theft , and yet , by neither word nor sign , betray remorse or guilt?—could behold the innocent suffering , the fearful misery of suspicion , loss of character , without the power of clearing [himself]_{3427-your uncle} , and stand calmly , heedlessly by — only proving by [your]_{2381-the second intruder} hardened and rebellious temper that all was not right within — [Ellen]_113-ellen , can this be true ? "_[113-ellen] " Yes ! "_[113-ellen] was the reply , but with such a fearful effort , that [her]_113-ellen slight frame shook as with an ague ; " thank [God]_85-god , that it is known ! [I]_113-ellen dared not bring down the punishment on [myself]_113-ellen ; but [I]_113-ellen can bear it . "_[113-ellen] " This is mere mockery , [Ellen]_113-ellen ; how dare [I]_113-ellen believe even this poor evidence of repentance , with the recollection of [your]_113-ellen past conduct ? What were the notes [you]_113-ellen found ? "_[113-ellen] [Ellen]_113-ellen named them . " Where are they?—This is but one , and the smallest . "_[113-ellen] [Ellen]_113-ellen 's answer was scarcely audible . " Used them — and for what ? "_[113-ellen] There was no answer , neither then , nor when [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} sternly reiterated the question . [She]_2386-she then demanded — " How long have they been in [your]_113-ellen possession ? "_[2386-she] " Five or six weeks ; "_[113-ellen] but the reply was so tremulous , it carried no conviction with it . " Since [Robert]_102-herbert told [his]_102-herbert story to [[your]_{2381-the second intruder} uncle]_{3427-your uncle} , or before ? "_[2386-she] " Before . "_[113-ellen] " Then [your]_113-ellen last answer was a falsehood , [Ellen]_113-ellen ; it is full seven weeks since [[my]_113-ellen husband]_{3521-my husband} addressed [the household]_{5890-the household} on the subject . [You]_113-ellen could not have so miscounted time , with such a deed to date by . Where did [you]_113-ellen find them ? "_[113-ellen] [Ellen]_113-ellen described [the spot]_{2387-the spot} . " And what business had [you]_113-ellen there ? [You]_113-ellen know that neither [you]_113-ellen nor [[your]_113-ellen cousins]_{978-your cousins} are ever allowed to go that way to [[Mrs. Langford]_{204-mrs. langford} 's cottage]_{2161-mrs. langford 's cottage} , and more especially alone . If [you]_113-ellen wanted to see [her]_{204-mrs. langford} , why did [you]_113-ellen not go the usual way ? And when was [this?—you]_{5893-this?—you} must remember the exact day . [Your]_113-ellen memory is not in general so treacherous . "_[113-ellen] Again [Ellen]_113-ellen was silent . " Have [you]_113-ellen forgotten it ? "_[113-ellen] [She]_113-ellen crouched lower at [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} 's feet , but the answer was audible — " No . "_[113-ellen] " Then answer [me]_113-ellen , [Ellen]_113-ellen , this moment , and distinctly ; for what purpose were [you]_113-ellen seeking [[Mrs. Langford]_{204-mrs. langford} 's cottage]_{2161-mrs. langford 's cottage} by [that forbidden path]_{5895-that forbidden path} , and when ? "_[113-ellen] " [I]_113-ellen wanted money , and [I]_113-ellen went to ask [her]_{204-mrs. langford} to take [my]_113-ellen trinkets — [my]_113-ellen watch , if it must be — and dispose of them as [I]_113-ellen had read of [others]_756-others doing , as miserable as [I]_113-ellen was ; and the wind blew the notes to [my]_113-ellen very hand , and [I]_113-ellen used them . [I]_113-ellen was mad then — [I]_113-ellen have been mad since , [I]_113-ellen believe ; but [I]_113-ellen would have returned the whole amount to [Robert]_102-herbert , if [I]_113-ellen could but have parted with [my]_113-ellen trinkets in time . "_[113-ellen] To describe the tone of utter despair , the recklessness as to the effect [her]_2389-her words would produce , is impossible . Every word increased [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's bewilderment and misery . To suppose that [Ellen]_113-ellen did not feel was folly . It was the very depth of wretchedness which was crushing [her]_113-ellen to [the earth]_{1159-the earth} , but every answered and unanswered question but deepened the mystery , and rendered [[her]_113-ellen judge]_{2391-her judge} 's task more difficult . " And when was this , [Ellen]_113-ellen ? [I]_2389-her will have no more evasion — tell [me]_2389-her the exact day . "_[2389-her] But [she]_2389-her asked in vain . [Ellen]_113-ellen remained moveless , and silent as the dead . After several minutes , [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} removed [her]_2389-her hands from [her]_113-ellen face , and compelling [her]_113-ellen to lift up [her]_113-ellen head ; gazed searchingly on [her]_113-ellen deathlike countenance for some moments in utter silence , and then said , in a tone that [Ellen]_113-ellen never in [her]_113-ellen life forgot — " [You]_113-ellen can not imagine , [Ellen]_113-ellen , that this half - confession will either satisfy [me]_113-ellen , or in the smallest degree redeem [your]_113-ellen sin . One and one only path is open to [you]_113-ellen ; for all that [you]_113-ellen have said and left unsaid but deepens [your]_113-ellen apparent guilt , and so blackens [your]_113-ellen conduct , that [I]_113-ellen can scarcely believe [I]_113-ellen am addressing [the child [I]_113-ellen so loved]_{5865-the child i so loved} — and could still so love , if but one real sign be given of remorse and penitence — one hope of returning truth . But that sign , that hope , can only be a full confession . Terrible as is the guilt of appropriating so large a sum , granted it came by the merest chance into [your]_113-ellen hand ; dark as is the additional sin of concealment when [an innocent person]_{5898-an innocent person} was suffering — something still darker , more terrible , must lie concealed behind it , or [you]_113-ellen would not , could not , continue thus obdurately silent . [I]_113-ellen can believe that under some heavy pressure of misery , some strong excitement , the sum might have been used without thought , and that fear might have prevented the confession of any thing so dreadful ; but what was this heavy necessity for money , this strong excitement ? What fearful and mysterious difficulties have [you]_113-ellen been led into to call for either ? Tell [me]_113-ellen the truth , [Ellen]_113-ellen , the whole truth ; let [me]_113-ellen have some hope of saving [you]_113-ellen and [myself]_113-ellen the misery of publicly declaring [you]_113-ellen [the guilty one]_{2218-the guilty one} , and so proving [Robert]_102-herbert 's innocence . Tell [me]_113-ellen what difficulty , what misery so maddened [you]_113-ellen , as to demand the disposal of [your]_113-ellen trinkets . If there be the least excuse , the smallest possibility of [your]_113-ellen obtaining in time forgiveness , [I]_113-ellen will grant it . [I]_113-ellen will not believe [you]_113-ellen so utterly fallen . [I]_113-ellen will do all [I]_113-ellen can to remove error , and yet to prevent suffering ; but to win this , [I]_113-ellen must have a full confession — every question that [I]_113-ellen put to [you]_113-ellen must be clearly and satisfactorily answered , and so bring back the only comfort to [yourself]_113-ellen , and hope to [me]_113-ellen . Will [you]_113-ellen do this , [Ellen]_113-ellen ? "_[113-ellen] " Oh , that [I]_{81-mrs. hamilton} could ! "_{[81-mrs. hamilton]} was the reply in such bitter anguish , [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} actually shuddered . " But [I]_{81-mrs. hamilton} can not — must not — dare not . [Aunt Emmeline]_78-emmeline , hate [me]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , condemn [me]_{81-mrs. hamilton} to the severest , sharpest suffering ; [I]_{81-mrs. hamilton} wish for it , pine for it : [you]_78-emmeline can not loathe [me]_{81-mrs. hamilton} more than [I]_{81-mrs. hamilton} do [myself]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , but do not — do not speak to [me]_{81-mrs. hamilton} in these kind tones — [I]_{81-mrs. hamilton} can not bear them . It was because [I]_{81-mrs. hamilton} knew what [a wretch]_{5900-a wretch} [I]_{81-mrs. hamilton} am , that [I]_{81-mrs. hamilton} have so shunned [you]_78-emmeline , [I]_{81-mrs. hamilton} was not worthy to be with [you]_78-emmeline ; oh , sentence [me]_{81-mrs. hamilton} at once ! [I]_{81-mrs. hamilton} dare not answer as [you]_78-emmeline wish . "_{[81-mrs. hamilton]} " Dare not ! "_{[81-mrs. hamilton]} repeated [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , more and more bewildered , and , to conceal the emotion [Ellen]_113-ellen 's wild words and agonized manner had produced , adopting greater sternness . " [You]_78-emmeline dare commit a sin , from which [the lowest of [my]_113-ellen household]_{5901-the lowest of my household} would shrink in horror , and yet tell [me]_113-ellen [you]_78-emmeline dare not make the only atonement , give [me]_113-ellen the only proof of real penitence [I]_113-ellen demand . This is a weak and wicked subterfuge , [Ellen]_113-ellen , and will not pass with [me]_113-ellen . There can be no reason for this fearful obduracy , not even the consciousness of greater guilt , for [I]_113-ellen promise forgiveness , if it be possible , on the sole condition of a full confession . Once more , will [you]_78-emmeline speak ? [Your]_78-emmeline hardihood will be utterly useless , for [you]_78-emmeline can not hope to conquer [me]_113-ellen ; and if [you]_78-emmeline permit [me]_113-ellen to leave [you]_78-emmeline with [your]_78-emmeline conduct still clothed in this impenetrable mystery , [you]_78-emmeline will compel [me]_113-ellen to adopt measures to subdue that defying spirit , which will expose [you]_78-emmeline and [myself]_113-ellen to intense suffering , but which must force submission at last . "_[113-ellen] " [You]_78-emmeline can not inflict more than [I]_113-ellen have endured the last seven weeks , "_[113-ellen] murmured [Ellen]_113-ellen , almost inarticulately . " [I]_113-ellen have borne that , [I]_113-ellen can bear the rest . "_[113-ellen] " Then [you]_78-emmeline will not answer ? [You]_78-emmeline are resolved not to tell [me]_113-ellen the day on which [you]_78-emmeline found that money , the use to which it was applied , the reason of [your]_78-emmeline choosing that forbidden path , permitting [me]_113-ellen to believe [you]_78-emmeline guilty of heavier sins than may be the case in reality . Listen to [me]_113-ellen , [Ellen]_113-ellen ; it is more than time this interview should cease , but [I]_113-ellen will give [you]_78-emmeline one chance more . It is now half - past seven,"—she_[113-ellen] took the watch from [her]_113-ellen neck , and laid it on the table—"I will remain here one half - hour longer : by that time this sinful temper may have passed away , and [you]_78-emmeline will consent to give [me]_113-ellen the confession [I]_113-ellen demand . [I]_113-ellen can not believe [you]_78-emmeline so altered in two months as to choose obduracy and misery , when pardon , and in time confidence and love , are offered in [their]_5902-their stead . Get up from that crouching posture , it can be but mock humility , and so only aggravates [your]_78-emmeline sin . "_[113-ellen] [Ellen]_113-ellen rose slowly and painfully , and seating [herself]_113-ellen at the table , some distance from [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} , leaned [her]_113-ellen arms upon it , and buried [her]_113-ellen face within them . Never before , and never after did half an hour appear so interminable to either [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} or [Ellen]_113-ellen . It was well for the firmness of the former , perhaps , that [she]_113-ellen could not read the heart of [that young girl]_{2393-that young girl} , even if the cause of its anguish had been still concealed . Again and again did the wild longing , turning [her]_113-ellen actually faint and sick with its agony , come over [her]_113-ellen to reveal the whole , to ask but rest and mercy for [herself]_113-ellen , pardon and security for [Edward]_76-edward ; but then clear as held before [her]_113-ellen in letters of fire [she]_113-ellen read every word of [[her]_113-ellen brother]_{384-her brother} 's desperate letter , particularly " Breathe it to [[my]_113-ellen uncle]_{1463-my uncle} or [aunt]_1460-aunt , for if [she]_{345-her mother} knows it [he]_{384-her brother} will , and [you]_{345-her mother} will never see [me]_113-ellen more . "_[113-ellen] [[Her]_113-ellen mother]_{345-her mother} , pallid as death , seemed to stand before [her]_113-ellen , freezing confession on [her]_{345-her mother} heart and lips , looking at [her]_113-ellen threateningly , as [she]_{345-her mother} had so often seen [her]_113-ellen , as if the very thought were guilt . The rapidly advancing twilight , [the large and lonely room]_{2396-the large and lonely room} , all added to that fearful illusion , and if [Ellen]_113-ellen did succeed in praying , it was with desperate fervor , for strength not to betray [[her]_113-ellen brother]_{384-her brother} . If ever there were a martyr spirit , it was enshrined in that young , frail form . But how could [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} imagine this ? How could [her]_113-ellen wildest fancy bring [Edward]_76-edward — [the brave , happy , eager [Edward]_76-edward , of whom [captain]_851-captain , [officers]_{5430-officers} , and [crew]_3838-crew wrote in such terms of praise and admiration , who had never given cause for anxiety , and who was so far distant — as the uniting link to this terrible mystery]_{2398-the brave , happy , eager edward , of whom captain , officers , and crew wrote in such terms of praise and admiration , who had never given cause for anxiety , and who was so far distant — as the uniting link to this terrible mystery} ? Was it not more natural that [he]_76-edward should not enter the incongruous and painful thoughts floating through [her]_113-ellen brain , save as [her]_113-ellen last resource , by [his]_76-edward influence , to obtain the truth from [Ellen]_113-ellen ? The more [she]_113-ellen thought , the more agonizing [her]_113-ellen thoughts became ; what could induce this determined silence , but a conviction of deeper guilt , and what could that guilt be ? The most terrible suspicions crossed [her]_113-ellen mind ; [she]_113-ellen had heard , though [she]_113-ellen had scarcely believed in them , of entanglements , even where the guardianship had been most rigid . Could one so young , seemingly so innocent , have fallen into the power of some desperate character , who was working on [her]_113-ellen thus ? How could [she]_113-ellen be sure [she]_113-ellen intended to take [her]_113-ellen trinkets to [Mrs. Langford]_{204-mrs. langford} ? [Her]_113-ellen choosing that forbidden path which was never by any chance trodden by [the family]_{3915-the family} or [[their]_{3915-the family} friends]_{4208-their friends} , [her]_113-ellen constant desire lately not to join [them]_{3915-the family} in [their]_{3915-the family} excursions , preferring , and often finding some excuse to remain alone — all came to [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's mind , with such an overpowering sensation of dread and misery , that the worst guilt [Ellen]_113-ellen could have avowed would scarcely have been worse than anticipation pictured ; and yet every thought was so vague , every fancy so undefined — there was nothing [she]_113-ellen could grasp at as a saving hope , or in the remotest degree excusing cause ; such obdurate silence in [one so young]_{2404-one so young} , generally so yielding , could and must conceal nothing but still more fearful sin . The darkness which had gathered round [them]_2405-them , save the brightening light of the harvest moon , suddenly awakened [her]_113-ellen to the lapse of time . The moonlight fell full on the face of the watch , which was a repeater . It wanted but three minutes more , and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} watched the progress of the hand with such sickening dread , that when it reached the hour , [she]_113-ellen had scarcely strength to strike it , and so give notice — for words [she]_113-ellen had none — that the hour of grace had passed . But [she]_113-ellen conquered the powerlessness , and those soft chimes , which , when [Ellen]_113-ellen first came to [Oakwood]_12-oakwood , had been such a constant source of childish wonder and delight , now rang in [her]_113-ellen ears louder , hoarser , more fearfully distinct , than even those of the ancient time - piece in [the hall]_{836-the hall} , which at the same moment rang out the hour of eight . The sound ceased , and with heightened dignity , but in perfect silence , [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} rose , passed [[her]_113-ellen niece]_{372-her niece} , and had nearly reached the door , when [she]_113-ellen paused , and turned toward [Ellen]_113-ellen , as if irresolute . [Ellen]_113-ellen 's eyes had watched [her]_113-ellen as in fascination , and the pause endowed [her]_113-ellen with just sufficient power to spring forward , fling [herself]_113-ellen at [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} 's feet , and clasping [her]_113-ellen knees with all [her]_113-ellen little remaining strength , passionately implore — " [Aunt Emmeline]_78-emmeline , [aunt Emmeline]_78-emmeline , speak to [me]_113-ellen but one word , only one word of kindness before [you]_113-ellen go . [I]_113-ellen do not ask for mercy , there can be none for such a wretch as [I]_113-ellen am ; [I]_113-ellen will bear without one complaint , one murmur , all [you]_113-ellen may inflict — [you]_113-ellen can not be too severe . Nothing can be such agony as the utter loss of [your]_113-ellen affection ; [I]_113-ellen thought , the last two months , that [I]_113-ellen feared [you]_113-ellen so much that it was all fear , no love , but now , now that [you]_113-ellen know [my]_113-ellen sin , it has all , all come back to make [me]_113-ellen still more wretched . "_[113-ellen] And before [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} could prevent , or was in the least aware of [her]_{367-her aunt} intention , [Ellen]_113-ellen had obtained possession of one of [her]_{367-her aunt} hands , and was covering it with kisses , while [her]_113-ellen whole frame shook with those convulsed , but completely tearless sobs . " Will [you]_113-ellen confess , [Ellen]_113-ellen , if [I]_113-ellen stay ? Will [you]_113-ellen give [me]_113-ellen the proof that it is such agony to lose [my]_113-ellen affection , that [you]_113-ellen do love [me]_113-ellen as [you]_113-ellen profess , and that it is only one sin which has so changed [you]_113-ellen ? One word , and , tardy as it is , [I]_113-ellen will listen , and , if [I]_113-ellen can , forgive . "_[113-ellen] [Ellen]_113-ellen made no answer , and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's newly - raised hopes vanished ; [she]_{367-her aunt} waited full two or three minutes , then gently disengaged [her]_{367-her aunt} hand and dress from [Ellen]_113-ellen 's still convulsive grasp ; the door closed , with a sullen , seemingly unwilling sound , and [Ellen]_113-ellen was alone . [She]_113-ellen remained in the same posture , the same spot , till a vague , cold terror so took possession of [her]_113-ellen , that [the room]_{356-the room} seemed filled with ghostly shapes , and all the articles of furniture suddenly transformed to things of life ! and springing up , with the wild , fleet step of fear , [she]_113-ellen paused not till [she]_113-ellen found [herself]_113-ellen in [[her]_113-ellen own room]_{4399-her own room} , where flinging [herself]_113-ellen on [her]_113-ellen bed , [she]_113-ellen buried [her]_113-ellen face on [her]_113-ellen pillow , to shut out every object — oh , how [she]_113-ellen longed to shut out thought ! It was such a different scene , such a fullness of innocent joy , on which [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} entered , that though [she]_113-ellen thought [herself]_113-ellen nerved to control all visible emotion , the contrast almost overpowered [her]_113-ellen ; knowing , too , that the fatal effects of [one person]_{2411-one person} 's sin must banish that innocent enjoyment , and would fall on [them]_2412-them all as some fearful , joy - destroying blow . [The room]_{356-the room} , one of the least spacious , was cheerfully lighted , the urn hissing upon the table , at which [Caroline]_120-caroline , [us]_2414-us usual , was presiding , only waiting for [[her]_120-caroline mother]_{345-her mother} 's appearance , to satisfy [Percy]_99-percy , who was loudly declaring [he]_99-percy was famished in two senses — for want of [[his]_99-percy mother]_{330-his mother} 's company , and of some restorative for [his]_99-percy craving appetite . [He]_99-percy was lounging on the sofa , playing with [Emmeline]_78-emmeline 's flowing ringlets , as [she]_{345-her mother} sat on a low stool by [his]_99-percy side , chatting with [him]_99-percy , in as discursive a strain as [his]_99-percy fancy willed . [Herbert]_102-herbert and [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} were still in earnest discussion on [their]_2417-their poem , from which [Herbert]_102-herbert was occasionally reading aloud such beautiful passages , and with such richness of intonation , and variety of expression , that [Caroline]_120-caroline , and even [Percy]_99-percy and [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , would pause involuntarily to listen . " At length ! "_[99-percy] exclaimed [Percy]_99-percy , springing up , as did [Herbert]_102-herbert at the same moment , to get [[their]_2417-their mother]_{488-their mother} a chair , and place [her]_{488-their mother} comfortably as usual in the midst of [them]_2417-their . " [Mother]_183-mother , [I]_99-percy really did begin to think [you]_183-mother intended to punish [my]_99-percy impatience by not joining [us]_2417-their at all to - night . "_[99-percy] " [I]_{488-their mother} did not know [you]_183-mother were impatient , [[my]_{488-their mother} dear boy]_{1168-my dear boy} , or perhaps [I]_{488-their mother} might have done so ! "_{[488-their mother]} was [her]_{488-their mother} quiet , and even smiling reply . " [I]_{488-their mother} fear , indeed , waiting for [me]_{488-their mother} so long after a water - excursion , must have caused [you]_183-mother to be impatient in another sense . "_{[488-their mother]} " What ! that [we]_2417-their must be all famished ? [I]_99-percy assure [you]_183-mother , [we]_2417-their are , and the loss of [your]_183-mother society sharpened the pangs of hunger [I]_99-percy owe [Morris]_134-morris a grudge , and will certainly serve [him]_134-morris out one day , for detaining [you]_183-mother so long when [I]_99-percy wanted [you]_183-mother . "_[99-percy] " It was not [Morris]_134-morris that detained [me]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , "_{[81-mrs. hamilton]} answered [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , somewhat hurriedly . " [I]_2419-i had done with [him]_134-morris by six o'clock ; but come , tell [me]_2419-i something about [your]_183-mother excursion , "_[2419-i] [she]_2419-i added , evidently anxious to elude farther remark , and perceiving at once that [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} and [Herbert]_102-herbert both looked at [her]_2419-i very anxiously . " How did [[your]_183-mother boat]_{5906-your boat} go , and how did [Caroline]_120-caroline 's voice and [your]_183-mother flute sound on the water , [Percy]_99-percy ? [Herbert]_102-herbert , [I]_{112-miss harcourt} see , has found poetry , as usual , and made [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} [[his]_102-herbert companion]_{4392-his companion} ; [you]_183-mother must tell [me]_{112-miss harcourt} what verses [[our]_{322-her children} beautiful river]_{5908-our beautiful river} recalled this afternoon ; and [you]_183-mother , [Emmy]_121-emmy , have [you]_183-mother any more sketches to fill up ? "_{[112-miss harcourt]} [[Her]_{112-miss harcourt} children]_{322-her children} eagerly entered on [their]_{322-her children} day 's enjoyment — [Herbert]_102-herbert conquering [his]_102-herbert anxiety , to emulate [[his]_102-herbert mother]_{330-his mother} 's calmness , but [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} had been too painfully startled by the unusual expression of forcibly - controlled suffering on [[her]_{112-miss harcourt} friend]_{535-her friend} 's face , to do so with any success . Nearly an hour , however , passed animatedly as usual ; [each]_2423-each found so much to tell , and [Percy]_99-percy was in such wild spirits , that it was utterly impossible for there to be any thing like a pause . Tea had always been a favorite meal at [Oakwood]_12-oakwood , as bringing all [the family]_{3915-the family} together after the various business of the day , and it continued to be so . [They]_{322-her children} had lingered over it as usual , when [Caroline]_120-caroline suddenly exclaimed — " What has become of [Ellen]_113-ellen ? [I]_120-caroline had quite forgotten [her]_113-ellen till this moment ; how neglectful [she]_113-ellen will think [us]_{322-her children} ! Do ring the bell , [Percy]_99-percy , that [we]_{322-her children} may send and let [her]_113-ellen know . "_{[120-caroline]} " If [she]_113-ellen has no recollection of meal - time , [I]_99-percy really think [we]_{322-her children} need not trouble [ourselves]_{322-her children} about [her]_113-ellen , "_[99-percy] was [Percy]_99-percy 's half - jesting , half - earnest reply , for [Ellen]_113-ellen 's changed manner to [[his]_99-percy mother]_{330-his mother} had made [him]_99-percy more angry with [her]_{330-his mother} , and for a longer time together , than [he]_99-percy had ever been with [any body]_{2426-any body} , especially [a woman]_{769-a woman} , in [his]_99-percy life . [He]_99-percy stretched out [his]_99-percy hand , however , to ring the bell , but [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} stopped [him]_99-percy . " [You]_99-percy need not , [Percy]_99-percy ; [[your]_99-percy cousin]_{929-your cousin} will not wish to join [us]_5910-us , "_{[330-his mother]} [she]_{330-his mother} said ; and [her]_{330-his mother} tone was now so expressive of almost anguish , that [every one of that happy party]_{2428-every one of that happy party} startled and looked at [her]_{330-his mother} with the most unfeigned alarm , and [Percy]_99-percy , every thought of jest and joyousness checked , threw [his]_99-percy arms round [her]_{330-his mother} , exclaiming — " Mother dearest ! what has happened?—that [unhappy girl]_{5911-unhappy girl} again ! [I]_99-percy am sure it is . Why do [you]_99-percy not cast [her]_{5911-unhappy girl} off from [your]_99-percy heart at once ; [she]_{5911-unhappy girl} will bring [you]_99-percy nothing but sorrow for all [your]_99-percy love . "_[99-percy] " [Percy]_99-percy , how can [you]_99-percy be so harsh?—how unlike [you]_99-percy ! "_{[78-emmeline]} exclaimed [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , indignantly , as [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's head , for a few minutes of natural weakness , sunk on [[her]_{330-his mother} son]_{326-her son} 's encircling arm . " [We]_5912-we have all given [mamma]_3420-mamma trouble and pain enough one time or other , and what would have become of [us]_5912-we if [she]_3420-mamma had cast [us]_5912-we off ? and [Ellen]_113-ellen has [no mother]_{4547-no mother} , too — for shame ! "_{[330-his mother]} " Hush ! "_[99-percy] answered [Percy]_99-percy , almost sternly , for there were times when [he]_99-percy could quite throw off [the boy]_{290-the boy} . " This is no light or common matter , to affect [[my]_99-percy mother]_{890-my mother} thus . Shall [we]_5912-we send for [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} , [mother]_3430-mother ? "_[99-percy] [he]_99-percy continued , fondly ; " in [[my]_99-percy father]_{3451-my father} 's absence [he]_{3451-my father} is [[your]_3430-mother ablest friend]_{5918-your ablest friend} — [we]_5912-we can only feel , not counsel . "_[99-percy] But there are times when feeling can aid in bringing back control and strength , when counsel alone would seem so harsh and cold , [we]_2431-we can only weep before it ; and the fond affection of [[her]_2432-her children]_{322-her children} , the unusual assumption of protecting manliness in [Percy]_99-percy , so touchingly united with the deep respect that prevented the least intrusive question as to the cause of [her]_2432-her distress till [she]_2432-her chose to reveal it , gave [her]_2432-her power to send back the tears that had escaped at first so hot and fast , and though still holding [his]_99-percy hand , as if its very pressure was support , [she]_2432-her was enabled calmly to relate the fatal discovery of that evening . Its effect was , in truth , as if a thunderbolt had fallen in the midst of [them]_2434-them . An execration , forcibly checked , but passionate as [his]_99-percy nature , burst from the lips of [Percy]_99-percy , as [he]_99-percy clamped [his]_99-percy arm close round [[his]_99-percy mother]_{330-his mother} , as thus to protect [her]_{330-his mother} from the misery [he]_99-percy felt [himself]_99-percy . [Herbert]_102-herbert , with a low cry of pain , buried [his]_102-herbert face in [his]_102-herbert hands . [Caroline]_120-caroline , shocked and bewildered , but [her]_120-caroline first thought for [[her]_120-caroline mother]_{345-her mother} , could only look at , and feel for [her]_{345-her mother} , quite forgetting that [her]_120-caroline every prejudice against [Ellen]_113-ellen did indeed seem fulfilled . [Emmeline]_78-emmeline at first looked stunned , then sinking down at [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's feet , hid [her]_78-emmeline face on [her]_78-emmeline lap , and sobbed with such uncontrolled violence , that it might have seemed as if [she]_78-emmeline [herself]_78-emmeline , not [Ellen]_113-ellen , were the guilty cause of all this misery . [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} , like [Caroline]_120-caroline , could only think and feel for [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} ; for [she]_{112-miss harcourt} knew so well all the hope , interest , and love which [Ellen]_113-ellen had excited , and what must be the bitter suffering of this fearful disappointment . " Do not weep thus , love , "_{[81-mrs. hamilton]} [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} said , addressing [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , after nearly a quarter of an hour had passed , and the various emotions of [each individual]_{4862-each individual} had found vent in words well illustrative of [[their]_{4862-each individual} respective characters]_{2438-their respective characters} ; all but [Emmeline]_78-emmeline who continued to sob so painfully , that [[her]_78-emmeline mother]_{345-her mother} successfully forgot [her]_{345-her mother} own sorrow to comfort [her]_78-emmeline . " [Ellen]_113-ellen is still very young , and though [she]_113-ellen is giving [us]_5919-we all this misery and disappointment now , [she]_113-ellen may become all [we]_5919-we can wish [her]_113-ellen , by - and - by . [We]_5919-we must not give up all hope , because now all [my]_99-percy cares seem so blighted . There is some fatal mystery attached to [her]_113-ellen conduct ; for [I]_99-percy am indeed deceived if [she]_113-ellen is not very wretched and there is some hope in that . "_[99-percy] " Then why does [she]_113-ellen not speak ? "_[99-percy] rejoined [Percy]_99-percy , impetuously ; for when [he]_99-percy found [[his]_99-percy mother]_{330-his mother} resuming control and firmness , [he]_99-percy had given vent to [his]_99-percy indignation by striding hastily up and down [the room]_{356-the room} . " What but the most determined hardihood and wickedness can keep [her]_113-ellen silent , when [you]_99-percy promise forgiveness if [she]_113-ellen will but speak ? What mystery can there , or ought there , to be about [her]_113-ellen , when [she]_113-ellen has such [an indulgent friend as [yourself]_99-percy]_{5920-an indulgent friend as yourself} to bring all [her]_113-ellen troubles to ? Wretched ! [I]_99-percy hope [she]_113-ellen is , for [she]_113-ellen deserves to be , if it were only for [her]_113-ellen base ingratitude . "_[99-percy] " [Percy]_99-percy ! dear [Percy]_99-percy ! do not speak and judge so very harshly , "_{[102-herbert]} interposed [Herbert]_102-herbert , with deep feeling ; " there does , indeed , seem no excuse for [her]_113-ellen conduct , but if [we]_5921-we ever should find that there is some extenuating cause , how unhappy [we]_5921-we shall be for having judged [her]_113-ellen still more harshly than [she]_113-ellen deserved . "_{[102-herbert]} " It is impossible [we]_5921-we can do that , "_[99-percy] muttered [Percy]_99-percy , continuing [his]_99-percy angry walk . " Nothing but guilt can be the cause of [her]_113-ellen keeping any thing from [[my]_102-herbert mother]_{890-my mother} . [Ellen]_113-ellen knows , as [we]_5921-we all know , that even error when confessed , has always been forgiven , sorrow always soothed , and every difficulty removed . What can [her]_113-ellen silence spring from , then , but either defying obstinacy or some blacker sin ? "_{[102-herbert]} " It does seem like it , unhappily , "_{[120-caroline]} rejoined [Caroline]_120-caroline , but very sorrowfully , not at all as if [she]_120-caroline triumphed in [her]_120-caroline own previous penetration ; " but [she]_113-ellen can not persevere in it long . [Dear mamma]_{3422-dear mamma} , do not look so distressed : it is impossible [she]_113-ellen can resist [you]_{3422-dear mamma} for any length of time . "_{[120-caroline]} " [She]_113-ellen has resisted every offer of kindness , [[my]_102-herbert dear child]_{1285-my dear child} , and it is the difficulty as to what course to pursue , to compel submission and confession , that so grieves and perplexes [me]_102-herbert . "_{[102-herbert]} " Let [me]_102-herbert seek [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} , [dearest mother]_{1229-dearest mother} , "_{[102-herbert]} answered [Herbert]_102-herbert ; " [he]_{128-mr. howard} is so good , so kind , even in [his]_{128-mr. howard} severest judgments , that [I]_102-herbert really think [Ellen]_113-ellen will scarcely be able to persevere in [her]_113-ellen mistaken silence , if [he]_{128-mr. howard} speak to [her]_113-ellen . "_{[102-herbert]} [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} paused for some moments in thought . " [I]_{81-mrs. hamilton} believe [you]_102-herbert are right , [Herbert]_102-herbert . If [I]_{81-mrs. hamilton} must have counsel out of [[my]_{81-mrs. hamilton} own family]_{5926-my own family} , [I]_{81-mrs. hamilton} can not go to [a kinder , wiser , or more silent friend]_{5927-a kinder , wiser , or more silent friend} . If the fearful shame which [I]_{81-mrs. hamilton} must inflict on [Ellen]_113-ellen to - night of proving [Robert]_102-herbert 's innocence before [[my]_{81-mrs. hamilton} whole household]_{5928-my whole household} , by the denouncement of [her]_113-ellen guilt , have no effect in softening [her]_113-ellen , [I]_{81-mrs. hamilton} will appeal to [him]_102-herbert . "_{[81-mrs. hamilton]} " Oh , [mamma]_3420-mamma , must this be — can [you]_3420-mamma not , will [you]_3420-mamma not spare [her]_113-ellen this ? "_{[78-emmeline]} implored [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , clinging to [[her]_78-emmeline mother]_{345-her mother} , in passionate entreaty ; " it would kill [me]_78-emmeline , [I]_78-emmeline know it would . Do not — do not expose [her]_113-ellen to such shame . "_{[78-emmeline]} " Do [you]_3420-mamma think it is no suffering to [[my]_99-percy mother]_{890-my mother} to be called upon to do this , [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , that [you]_3420-mamma add to it by this weak interference ? "_[99-percy] replied [Percy]_99-percy , sternly , before [[his]_99-percy mother]_{330-his mother} could reply . " Shame ! [she]_113-ellen has shamed [us]_5931-us all enough . There wants little more to add to it . "_[99-percy] But [Emmeline]_78-emmeline 's blue eyes never moved from [[her]_78-emmeline mother]_{345-her mother} 's face , and [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} , longing to spare [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} the suffering of such a proceeding , tried to persuade [her]_{345-her mother} to evade it , but [she]_{345-her mother} did not succeed . " One word of confession — one evidence that [her]_113-ellen sin originated in a momentary temptation , that it conceals nothing darker — one real proof of penitence , and God knows how gladly [I]_{345-her mother} would have spared [myself]_{345-her mother} and [her]_113-ellen ; but as it is , [Lucy]_111-lucy , [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , do not make [my]_{345-her mother} duty harder . "_{[345-her mother]} Few as those words were , the tone that spoke them was enough . No more was said , and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} tried , but with very little success , to turn [[her]_{345-her mother} children]_{322-her children} 's thoughts to other and pleasanter things . Time seemed to lag heavily , and yet when the prayer bell sounded , it fell on every heart as some fearful knell which must have been struck too soon . [All]_4750-all were assembled in [the library]_{3958-the library} , and in [their]_4750-all respective places , all but one , and [Herbert]_102-herbert waited [her]_{345-her mother} appearance . " Tell [Miss Fortescue]_{87-miss fortescue} that [we]_4750-all are only waiting for [her]_{345-her mother} to commence prayers ; "_[170-fanny] and [Fanny]_170-fanny , [[the young ladies]_{2448-the young ladies} ' attendant]_{2449-the young ladies ' attendant} , departed to obey , wondering at [Miss Ellen]_113-ellen 's non - appearance , but hearing nothing unusual in [[her]_170-fanny mistress]_{733-her mistress} 's voice . [She]_{733-her mistress} returned , but still [they]_4750-all waited ; again the door unclosed , and [Emmeline]_78-emmeline bent forward in an attitude of agony and shame unable even to look at [[her]_78-emmeline cousin]_{4159-her cousin} , whose place was close beside [her]_78-emmeline ; but the words [she]_78-emmeline dreaded came not then — [Herbert]_102-herbert , at [[his]_102-herbert mother]_{330-his mother} 's sign , commenced the service , and it proceeded as usual . The fearful struggle in [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's gentle bosom , who might read , save [the all - pitying God , whom [she]_78-emmeline so fervently addressed for strength and guidance]_{2453-the all - pitying god , whom she so fervently addressed for strength and guidance} ? The voice of [[her]_78-emmeline son]_{326-her son} ceased , and the struggle was over . " Before [we]_4750-all part for the night , "_{[78-emmeline]} [she]_78-emmeline said , when all but one had arisen , " it is necessary that [the innocent]_{2219-the innocent} should be so justified before [you]_5933-you all , that [he]_{2219-the innocent} should no longer be injured by suspicion and avoidance . It is nearly two months since [[your]_5933-you master]_{5934-your master} assured [you]_5933-you of [his]_{5934-your master} own and of [my]_78-emmeline perfect conviction that [Robert Langford]_209-robert had told the truth , and that the missing notes had been unfortunately lost by [him]_209-robert ; not appropriated , as [I]_78-emmeline fear most of [you]_5933-you have believed , and are still inclined to do . The complete failure of every search for them has induced a very uncomfortable feeling among [you]_5933-you all as to [the person on whom suspicion of finding and appropriating them]_{5935-the person on whom suspicion of finding and appropriating them} might fall , none but the household frequenting that particular path , and [none being able to suppose that the storm could have so dispersed as to lose all trace of them]_{5936-none being able to suppose that the storm could have so dispersed as to lose all trace of them} . [I]_78-emmeline acknowledge it was unlikely , but not so unlikely as that [Robert Langford]_209-robert should have failed in honesty , or that [any of [[my]_78-emmeline household]_{5938-my household}]_{5937-any of my household} should have appropriated or concealed them . All mystery is now , however , at an end ; the missing notes have been traced and found ; and that all suspicion and discomfort may be removed from among [you]_5933-you , it becomes [my]_78-emmeline duty to designate [the individual who has thus transgressed every duty to [God]_85-god and [man]_1176-man , not by the sin alone , but by so long permitting [the innocent]_{2219-the innocent} to suffer for the guilty , more especially as [that individual]_{5942-that individual} is one of [my]_78-emmeline own]_{5939-the individual who has thus transgressed every duty to god and man , not by the sin alone , but by so long permitting the innocent to suffer for the guilty , more especially as that individual is one of my own} family"—for_{[78-emmeline]} one moment [she]_2455-she paused , whether to gain strength , or to give more force to [her]_2455-she concluding words , [no one]_{3540-no one} could tell—"Ellen [Fortescue]_{87-miss fortescue} ! "_[2455-she] The excitement which reigned in [[the servants]_{4009-the servants} ' hall]_{4954-the servants ' hall} , after [they]_{4009-the servants} had withdrawn , in the most respectful silence , from [the library]_{3958-the library} , was extreme . [Robert]_209-robert , utterly unable to realize relief in this proof of [his]_209-robert own innocence , could only pace [the hall]_{836-the hall} in agony , deploring [his]_209-robert mad carelessness , which , by exposing to temptation , had caused it all ; and [Morris]_134-morris and [Ellis]_135-ellis deepened the remorse by perfectly agreeing with [him]_209-robert . Before [they]_{4009-the servants} separated , [the old steward]_{2184-the old steward} called [them]_{4009-the servants} all together ; and , [his]_{2184-the old steward} voice trembling with agitation , the tears actually running down [his]_{2184-the old steward} furrowed cheeks , told [them]_{4009-the servants} that even as [[their]_{4009-the servants} mistress]_{2196-their mistress} had done [her]_{2196-their mistress} duty to the utmost , ay , more than the utmost by [them]_{4009-the servants} — for it must have well - nigh broken [her]_{2196-their mistress} heart to do it — a solemn duty was demanded from [them]_{4009-the servants} to [her]_{2196-their mistress} , and that if either [man]_1176-man , [woman]_1915-woman , or [child]_3715-child failed in it , [he]_{2184-the old steward} should know that [they]_{4009-the servants} had neither feeling , honor , nor gratitude in [their]_{4009-the servants} hearts , and deserved and should be scouted by [them]_{4009-the servants} all ; and that duty was never to let the event of that night pass [their]_{4009-the servants} lips , even to [each other]_{938-each other} . It was enough that all mystery and suspicion had been taken from [them]_{4009-the servants} , and that time would clear up the remainder ; [he]_{2184-the old steward} never would believe [the grandchild of [[his]_{2184-the old steward} mistress]_{2340-his mistress} 's father , one [she]_{2340-his mistress} had so loved and cared for , could willfully act as appearances seemed to say]_{2467-the grandchild of his mistress 's father , one she had so loved and cared for , could willfully act as appearances seemed to say} ; that [he]_{2184-the old steward} was sure , one day or other , [they]_{4009-the servants} would all find there was much more to pity than to blame ; and till then , if [they]_{4009-the servants} had the least spark of generous or grateful feeling , [they]_{4009-the servants} would forget the whole affair , and only evince [their]_{4009-the servants} sense of [[their]_{4009-the servants} mistress]_{2196-their mistress} 's conduct , by yet greater respect and attention to [their]_{4009-the servants} respective duties . [The old man]_{3798-the old man} 's speech was garrulous , and perhaps often faulty in grammar , but it came from the heart , and so went to the heart at once , and not one held back from the pledge of silence [he]_{3798-the old man} demanded . There are [some who imagine that the refinement of feeling which alone]_{2471-some who imagine that the refinement of feeling which alone} could actuate [Morris]_134-morris 's speech , and its warm and immediate response , is only to be found among [the educated]_{2472-the educated} and [the rich]_{2473-the rich} : how little [those who thus suppose understand the human heart]_{2474-those who thus suppose understand the human heart} ! Kindness begets kindness ; and if [superiors]_{2120-superiors} will but think of , and seek the happiness , temporal and eternal , of [[their]_{2120-superiors} inferiors]_{2476-their inferiors} — will but prove that [they]_{2120-superiors} are considered [[us]_2477-us children of [one common Father]_{2479-one common father}]_{2478-us children of one common father} — there needs no equality of rank to create equality of happiness , or equality of refined , because true feeling . The next morning , when [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had occasion to speak to [Morris]_134-morris about some farm receipts , which had not been forthcoming the preceding day , [she]_2480-her recalled [him]_134-morris as [he]_134-morris was departing ; but the words [she]_2480-her had to say seemed unusually difficult , for [her]_2480-her voice audibly faltered , and [her]_2480-her face was completely shaded by [her]_2480-her hand . It was simply to ask that which [Morris]_134-morris 's loving reverence had already done ; and when [the old man]_{3798-the old man} , in those earnest accents of heartfelt respect and kindness which never can be mistaken , related what had passed , [[his]_{3798-the old man} mistress]_{2340-his mistress} hastily extended [her]_{2340-his mistress} hand to [him]_134-morris , saying , in a tone [he]_134-morris never forgot — " God bless [you]_134-morris , [Morris]_134-morris ! [I]_{2340-his mistress} ought to have known [your]_134-morris love for [[[your]_134-morris master]_{5934-your master} 's house]_{5944-your master 's house} would have urged this , without any request from [me]_{2340-his mistress} . [I]_{2340-his mistress} can not thank [you]_134-morris enough . "_{[2340-his mistress]} The kiss [he]_134-morris ventured to press upon the delicate hand which pressed [his]_134-morris rough palm , was not unaccompanied , though [he]_134-morris did force back the tear , and most respectfully , yet very earnestly , beseech [[his]_{3798-the old man} mistress]_{2340-his mistress} not to take on too much . There must be some cause , some mystery ; [[no one]_{3540-no one} belonging to [her]_{2340-his mistress}]_{2485-no one belonging to her} could so have acted without some very fearful temptation , some very powerful reason , and it would all come straight one day . But whatever the future , the present was only suffering ; for , to obtain a full confession from [Ellen]_113-ellen , [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} felt so absolutely incumbent on [her]_113-ellen , that [she]_113-ellen steadily refused to listen to either pity or affection , which could shake [her]_113-ellen firmness ; and the opinion and advice of [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} strengthened the determination . [He]_134-morris had a private interview with [Ellen]_113-ellen , but it was attended with so very little success , that [he]_134-morris left [her]_113-ellen far more bewildered and grieved than [he]_134-morris had sought [her]_113-ellen ; but fully convinced it was mere hardihood and obstinacy , which caused [her]_113-ellen incomprehensible and most guilty silence . Not even allowing , as [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had , that there was any evidence of misery and remorse ; perhaps [she]_113-ellen had been more quiet , more resolutely calm , and if it had not been for the strong appearances against [her]_113-ellen , [he]_134-morris surely must have seen it was the strength and quiet of despair , not the defiance [he]_134-morris believed . " This rebellious spirit must be conquered , "_[134-morris] [he]_134-morris said , on rejoining [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , who , with [[her]_113-ellen children]_{322-her children} and [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} , had most anxiously and yet hopefully awaited the result of [his]_134-morris interference . " [We]_5945-we should actually be sharing [her]_113-ellen sin , if [we]_5945-we permit [her]_113-ellen to conquer [us]_5945-we by obduracy and self - will . Solitary confinement and complete idleness may bring [her]_113-ellen to a better temper , and , in fact , should be persisted in , till a full confession be made . If that fail , [[my]_134-morris dear]_{3485-my dear} [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , [[your]_{3485-my dear} niece]_{5947-your niece} should be banished from [Oakwood]_12-oakwood . [She]_{5947-your niece} must not remain [here]_3850-here , a continual source of anxiety and misery to [you]_{3485-my dear} , and of successful hardihood to [herself]_{5947-your niece} ; but of that there will be time enough to think when [you]_{3485-my dear} have an answer from [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} ; [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} judgment from a distance may be wiser than [ours]_5949-we on the spot , and irritated as [we]_5949-we are by such unaccountable obstinacy in one [we]_5949-we have always thought almost too yielding . "_[134-morris] And it was this incomprehensible change of character , in seeming , that still more perplexed [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , and so made [her]_2487-her believe there must be some worse fault , or dangerous entanglement , demanding such resolute pertinacity in concealment . Closely connected with [[Ellis]_135-ellis 's private apartments]_{2488-ellis 's private apartments} , and having neither inlet nor outlet , save through the short passage opening from [[her]_135-ellis sitting - room]_{2489-her sitting - room} , were [two small but not uncomfortable apartments]_{2490-two small but not uncomfortable apartments} , opening one into the other , and looking out on [a very pretty but quite unfrequented part of [the park]_{4069-the park}]_{2491-a very pretty but quite unfrequented part of the park} . They had often been used when [any of [[Ellis]_135-ellis 's children]_{2494-ellis 's children} or [grandchildren]_{2495-grandchildren}]_{2493-any of ellis 's children or grandchildren} came to see [her]_135-ellis , and were in consequence almost sufficiently habitable , without any further preparation , except the turning one into [a sitting - room]_{2496-a sitting - room} , which [Ellis]_135-ellis 's active care speedily accomplished . [[Her]_135-ellis mistress]_{733-her mistress} inspected [them]_{2490-two small but not uncomfortable apartments} , at [her]_135-ellis desire , suggested one or two additional comforts , and then held a long confidential conversation with [her]_135-ellis . [She]_{733-her mistress} had such perfect confidence in [her]_135-ellis ( for [Ellis]_135-ellis had been from [a child]_{265-a child} — married , and become [mother]_3430-mother and [widow]_2500-widow , and married [[her]_135-ellis children]_{322-her children} — all as [an inmate of [the Hamilton family]_{3959-the hamilton family}]_{2502-an inmate of the hamilton family} , and had held the confidential post of [housekeeper]_{2202-housekeeper} for sixteen years ) , that [she]_{733-her mistress} did not hesitate one moment to commit [Ellen]_113-ellen entirely to [her]_{733-her mistress} care , at least till [she]_{733-her mistress} could receive an answer about [her]_135-ellis from [[her]_{733-her mistress} husband]_{340-her husband} . [She]_{733-her mistress} depended on [her]_135-ellis to watch over [her]_135-ellis health , to see that [she]_135-ellis took daily exercise with [her]_135-ellis , in those parts of [the park]_{4069-the park} where [she]_135-ellis was not likely to attract notice , as being with [her]_135-ellis instead of with [any member of [[her]_135-ellis family]_{800-her family}]_{2507-any member of her family} , and that [she]_135-ellis took [her]_135-ellis regular meals ; to be with [her]_135-ellis whenever [she]_135-ellis took them , and at casual times in the day , not so as to remove the impression of solitude and disgrace , but to be enabled to watch [her]_135-ellis closely , and the least symptom of a softening spirit to report instantly to [her]_135-ellis . " [She]_135-ellis will , of course , join [us]_5950-us in the hours of devotion , though not occupying [her]_135-ellis usual place , for [she]_135-ellis who has lowered [herself]_135-ellis , in the sight of [God]_85-god and [man]_1176-man , beneath the humblest of [[my]_2509-my domestics]_{5952-my domestics} , may no longer kneel above [them]_{5952-my domestics} , "_[2509-my] [she]_2509-my said in conclusion . " But of [my]_2509-my determination on that point [she]_135-ellis is already aware ; and [she]_135-ellis will go with [us]_5950-us as usual to [church]_3975-church ; [I]_2509-my will have no remark made , further than [I]_2509-my can avoid . Be as kind to [her]_135-ellis as [you]_5954-you can , [Ellis]_135-ellis , consistent with [your]_5954-you character as [a wise and watchful guardian]_{5955-a wise and watchful guardian} . [God]_85-god in mercy grant that [her]_135-ellis heart may be so softened , that [you]_5954-you will not fill that painful position long . And now to see [her]_113-ellen . "_[2509-my] But [Percy]_99-percy 's watchful care had so quietly interposed , that [[his]_99-percy mother]_{330-his mother} found [herself]_{330-his mother} in [[their]_2511-their usual sitting - room]_{2512-their usual sitting - room} , and in the midst of [them]_2511-their all , before [she]_{330-his mother} could seek [Ellen]_113-ellen ; and when , with half reproach , [she]_{330-his mother} told [him]_99-percy , that [she]_{330-his mother} had still a most painful duty to accomplish , therefore [he]_99-percy ought not to have prevented it , [he]_99-percy answered impetuously — " [Mother]_183-mother , [you]_183-mother shall not see [Ellen]_113-ellen any more alone ! [she]_113-ellen has made [you]_183-mother miserable enough already , and each time that [she]_113-ellen sees [you]_183-mother , [her]_113-ellen deceitful appearance of remorse and suffering , for they can not be real , or [she]_113-ellen would speak , but add to it ; send for [her]_113-ellen here , and tell [her]_113-ellen [your]_183-mother decision before [us]_5956-us all . "_[99-percy] And [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} complied , for [she]_{330-his mother} felt as if [her]_{330-his mother} firmness would be less likely to fail , than if [Ellen]_113-ellen attempted any thing like supplication with [her]_{330-his mother} alone . But not a word of supplication came . [Ellen]_113-ellen had answered the summons , by quietly accompanying [Ellis]_135-ellis , who had been sent for [her]_113-ellen , to [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} 's presence , pale , indeed , as marble , but so tearless and still , as to seem unmoved . An expression of actual relief stole over [her]_113-ellen features as [she]_113-ellen heard [her]_113-ellen sentence , undisturbed even when told that this would only be , till [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's sentence came ; as , if [she]_113-ellen continued silent until then , of course whatever severer measures [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} might dictate would be instantly obeyed . But when [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} proceeded to say that [she]_{330-his mother} intended writing the whole affair to [Edward]_76-edward , that [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} influence might awaken [her]_{330-his mother} to a sense of the fearfully aggravated guilt [she]_{330-his mother} was incurring by [her]_{330-his mother} silence , an expression of the most intense agony succeeded the previous calm , and sinking down before [her]_{330-his mother} , [Ellen]_113-ellen wildly implored — " Oh , [aunt Emmeline]_78-emmeline , in mercy spare [him]_76-edward ! do not , oh , do not throw such shame upon [him]_76-edward , [he]_76-edward who is so brave , admired , honored ! do not , oh , if [you]_{81-mrs. hamilton} have any pity left , do not make [him]_76-edward hate [me]_113-ellen , loathe [me]_113-ellen too , [[my]_113-ellen own only brother]_{5957-my own only brother} ! [he]_76-edward must throw [me]_113-ellen off . How can [he]_76-edward bear such shame upon [his]_76-edward name ! Oh , do with [me]_113-ellen more than [you]_{81-mrs. hamilton} have said , any thing , every thing , but that . Spare [him]_76-edward ! "_[113-ellen] " Spare [him]_76-edward [yourself]_99-percy , "_[99-percy] interposed [Percy]_99-percy , sternly.—(He was standing , with [his]_99-percy arms crossed , by a window ; [Herbert]_209-robert was leaning at the back of [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's chair ; [Caroline]_120-caroline and [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} trying very steadily to work , and [Emmeline]_78-emmeline bending over a drawing , which [her]_78-emmeline tears were utterly spoiling).—"If the knowledge of [your]_99-percy sin make [him]_76-edward miserable , as it must , be [yourself]_99-percy the one to save [him]_76-edward — [you]_99-percy alone can . Speak — break this determined and most guilty silence , and [his]_76-edward influence will not be needed , and [[my]_113-ellen mother]_{890-my mother} will be silent to [him]_76-edward concerning what has passed , now and forever , as [we]_5959-we will all . If [you]_99-percy so love [him]_76-edward , spare [him]_76-edward the shame [you]_99-percy have brought on all of [us]_5959-we ; if not , it is mere words , as must be the love [you]_99-percy have professed all these years for [[my]_113-ellen mother]_{890-my mother} . "_[113-ellen] [Ellen]_113-ellen turned [her]_113-ellen face toward [him]_2514-him for a single minute , with such an expression of unutterable misery , that [he]_2514-him turned hastily away , even [his]_2514-him anger in part subdued , and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} could scarcely reply . " [I]_{81-mrs. hamilton} can not grant [your]_113-ellen request , [Ellen]_113-ellen , for to refuse it , appears to [me]_{81-mrs. hamilton} the only means of softening [you]_113-ellen . It may be a full fortnight before [I]_{81-mrs. hamilton} can write to [Edward]_76-edward , for [we]_5959-we must receive letters first . If during that interval [you]_113-ellen choose to give [me]_{81-mrs. hamilton} the only proof of repentance that can satisfy [me]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , or bring the least hope of returning happiness to [yourself]_113-ellen , [I]_{81-mrs. hamilton} shall now know how to act . [I]_{81-mrs. hamilton} would indeed spare [[your]_113-ellen brother]_{3473-your brother} this bitter shame , but if [you]_113-ellen continue thus obdurate , no entreaties will move [me]_{81-mrs. hamilton} . Rise , and go with [Ellis]_135-ellis . Punishment and misery , repentance and pardon , are all before [you]_113-ellen ; [you]_113-ellen alone can choose . [I]_{81-mrs. hamilton} shall interfere no more , till [[your]_113-ellen uncle]_{3427-your uncle} 's sentence comes . "_{[81-mrs. hamilton]} And longing to end this painful scene , for [[her]_2515-her mistress]_{733-her mistress} 's sake , [Ellis]_135-ellis led [Ellen]_113-ellen from [the room]_{356-the room} , and conducted [her]_113-ellen to [the apartments assigned [her]_113-ellen]_{2518-the apartments assigned her} . [She]_135-ellis felt much too angry and annoyed at the pain and trouble [Ellen]_113-ellen , was giving [[her]_2515-her mistress]_{733-her mistress} , to evince any thing like kindness toward [her]_135-ellis at first , but [she]_135-ellis had not been under [her]_135-ellis care above a week before [her]_135-ellis feelings underwent a complete change . Suffering as [she]_135-ellis was enduring , more especially from the conviction , that to every one of those [she]_135-ellis loved ( for affection for [each one of [the family]_{3915-the family}]_{2520-each one of the family} had now returned with almost passionate violence ) [she]_135-ellis must be an object of hate and loathing , yet that [her]_135-ellis sin was known , was a relief so inexpressibly blessed , [she]_135-ellis felt strengthened to endure every thing else . [She]_135-ellis knew , and [[her]_135-ellis God]_{5369-her god} knew , the agonized temptation to the momentary act , and the cause of [her]_135-ellis determined silence . [She]_135-ellis felt there was strange comfort in that ; though [she]_135-ellis knew no punishment could be too severe for the sin itself , and [she]_135-ellis prayed constantly to be enabled to bear it , and still not to betray [[her]_135-ellis brother]_{384-her brother} ; and the consequence of these petitions was a calm , gentle , deeply submissive demeanor . Not a murmur ever passed [her]_135-ellis lips , and [Ellis]_135-ellis scarcely ever saw the signs of tears , which [she]_135-ellis longed for ; for the quiet , but fearfully intense suffering , [Ellen]_113-ellen 's very evident daily portion , alarmed [her]_135-ellis for its effect upon [her]_135-ellis always delicate health . As yet , however , there was no outward appearance of its failing , it rather bore up , from the cessation of the nervous dread and constant terror , which [she]_135-ellis had endured before ; and before [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's letter arrived , a month after the fatal discovery , [Ellis]_135-ellis had drawn [her]_135-ellis own conclusions , and [her]_135-ellis manner , instead of being distant and cold , had become so excessively kind and feeling , that [the poor girl]_{4361-the poor girl} felt some heavy change must be impending , [she]_135-ellis dared not look to the continuance of such comfort . But [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} never saw [[her]_135-ellis niece]_{372-her niece} , save when no words could pass between [them]_2526-them ; and [she]_135-ellis could not judge as [Ellis]_135-ellis did . [She]_135-ellis could only feel , as each day passed , without bringing the desired proof of sorrow and amendment , more and more bewildered , and very wretched . Though , for [[her]_135-ellis children]_{322-her children} 's sake , [she]_135-ellis so conquered the feeling as , after the first week , to restore cheerfulness , and promote the various amusements [they]_{322-her children} had all so enjoyed . [Ellen]_113-ellen 's disappearance had of course to be accounted for , to [the intimate friends with whom [they]_{322-her children} so constantly were]_{2528-the intimate friends with whom they so constantly were} ; but [her]_135-ellis acknowledgment that [she]_135-ellis had been disappointed in [her]_135-ellis , and that [her]_135-ellis conduct would not allow [her]_135-ellis any social or domestic indulgence , at least for a time , satisfied [the elder members]_{2529-the elder members} . [Annie]_129-annie , for the first time , discovered that [Caroline]_120-caroline was [her]_129-annie match in cleverness , merely from [her]_129-annie excessive truth and simplicity , and that , manœuvre as [she]_129-annie might , [she]_129-annie could not discover the smallest clew to this sudden mystery . And [Mary]_143-mary , for the first time , and on this one subject alone , found [Herbert]_209-robert and [Emmeline]_78-emmeline impenetrably reserved . As soon as [Mrs. Langford]_{204-mrs. langford} had been informed by [[her]_{204-mrs. langford} son]_{326-her son} , at [[his]_{326-her son} mistress]_{2340-his mistress} 's desire , of the unanswerable proof of [his]_{326-her son} innocence , [she]_{204-mrs. langford} hastened to [the Hall]_{836-the hall} , and requesting a private interview with [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , placed at once in [her]_{204-mrs. langford} hands all the trinkets and watch , with which [she]_{204-mrs. langford} had been at different times intrusted ; related all that had passed between [her]_{204-mrs. langford} and [Miss Fortescue]_{87-miss fortescue} , the excessive misery [she]_{204-mrs. langford} seemed to be enduring ; and confessed that the few pounds [she]_{204-mrs. langford} had given [her]_{204-mrs. langford} , as the sums obtained by the sale of the trinkets , [she]_{204-mrs. langford} had advanced [herself]_{204-mrs. langford} , having resolved that nothing should induce [her]_{204-mrs. langford} to dispose of them ; and that of course it was the difficulty [she]_{204-mrs. langford} had in advancing their right value , which had occasioned the length of time that had elapsed since [Ellen]_113-ellen had first sought [her]_{204-mrs. langford} . " Would it not go far to prove [she]_{204-mrs. langford} really did wish to return the money ? "_{[81-mrs. hamilton]} [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} thought , long after [the widow]_{477-the widow} had left [her]_{204-mrs. langford} , and the sums [she]_{204-mrs. langford} had advanced returned with interest . " Was it to return the fatally appropriated sum , or because [she]_{204-mrs. langford} needed more ? [Ellen]_113-ellen had so positively , and with such agony asserted the first , that it was scarcely possible to disbelieve [her]_{204-mrs. langford} ; but what was this fearful difficulty , this pressing demand by [one so young for so much money]_{5963-one so young for so much money} ? Why , if it were comparatively innocent , would [she]_{204-mrs. langford} not speak ? "_{[81-mrs. hamilton]} The more [she]_{204-mrs. langford} thought , the more perplexed and anxious [she]_{204-mrs. langford} seemed to become . The act itself of endeavoring to dispose of the trinkets , especially those that had been given and received , as doubly valuable because they had been worn by [[her]_{204-mrs. langford} mother]_{345-her mother} , would have been sufficiently faulty to have occasioned natural displeasure , but compared with other known and unknown faults , it sunk into almost nothing . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} collected them all together , those [Mrs. Langford]_{204-mrs. langford} had returned , and the few remaining in [[her]_{204-mrs. langford} niece]_{372-her niece} 's drawer , and carefully put them away , till circumstances might authorize [her]_{204-mrs. langford} returning them to [Ellen]_113-ellen , and determined on saying nothing more on the subject either to [Ellen]_113-ellen or [[her]_{204-mrs. langford} own family]_{4144-her own family} . One thing [Ellis]_135-ellis reported to [her]_{204-mrs. langford} regarding [Ellen]_113-ellen , which certainly seemed like a consciousness of the wrong [she]_135-ellis had done [Robert]_209-robert , and a wish to atone for it . [She]_135-ellis begged [Ellis]_135-ellis so earnestly that [she]_135-ellis might see [him]_209-robert , if it were only for five minutes , that [she]_135-ellis could not resist [her]_135-ellis ; and when [he]_209-robert came , [she]_135-ellis implored [him]_209-robert so touchingly , so pleadingly to forgive [her]_135-ellis long silence [himself]_209-robert , and entreat [[his]_209-robert mother]_{330-his mother} to do so too ; assuring [him]_209-robert , that it was the hope of being able to restore the notes to [him]_209-robert , without revealing [her]_135-ellis identity , which had caused the silence , that it was scarcely possible to listen to [her]_135-ellis unmoved . It was no false humility , but the deepest , most unfeigned contrition for having been the cause of injury . Ten days after [Ellen]_113-ellen 's imprisonment , the letter arrived from [Sir Edward Manly]_76-edward , which [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had alluded to as necessary to be received , before [she]_135-ellis could write to [[her]_135-ellis nephew]_{696-her nephew} , and the news [it]_2539-it brought , though somewhat alloyed , would at another time have been received with the greatest delight . [Edward]_76-edward was returning . In three weeks , or a month at the utmost , after the receipt of [[his]_76-edward commander]_{2540-his commander} 's letter , [he]_76-edward might be with [them]_2541-them all ; invalided [home]_563-home for a three or four months ' leave . There had been another , and rather severe engagement , in which [young Fortescue]_{87-miss fortescue} had still more distinguished [himself]_{87-miss fortescue} ; but from [his]_76-edward headlong courage had been severely , but not at all seriously , hurt . [Sir Edward]_76-edward intended sending [the pirate frigate which [they]_2541-them had taken to [England]_10-england]_{2543-the pirate frigate which they had taken to england} , as [she]_{2543-the pirate frigate which they had taken to england} was [a tight - built , well looking craft enough]_{2544-a tight - built , well looking craft enough} , [he]_76-edward wrote , if manned with [honorable men]_{2545-honorable men} instead of [desperate villians]_{2546-desperate villians} ; and had nominated [Harding]_197-harding and [Fortescue]_{87-miss fortescue} to accompany [the second lieutenant]_{2547-the second lieutenant} , as [[her]_{2543-the pirate frigate which they had taken to england} officers]_{2548-her officers} . The name of [Harding]_197-harding produced no disagreeable reminiscences in [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's mind . It had been so very long since [Edward]_76-edward had even mentioned [him]_76-edward , that [she]_{2543-the pirate frigate which they had taken to england} had almost forgotten [his]_76-edward early fancy for [him]_76-edward . [Her]_{2543-the pirate frigate which they had taken to england} only thought now was thankfulness that [[her]_{2543-the pirate frigate which they had taken to england} gallant nephew]_{2549-her gallant nephew} had been preserved , and that [he]_76-edward was coming [home]_563-home . It could scarcely be pleasure [she]_{2543-the pirate frigate which they had taken to england} felt , though all [the young party]_{3941-the young party} did , for there was such an excitement in [Edward]_76-edward 's courage , and in [his]_76-edward having been in two desperate engagements , and seen so much , that , with the buoyancy happily natural to [well - disposed youth]_{2552-well - disposed youth} , [they]_{3941-the young party} could only think and talk of [his]_76-edward return , forgetting the alloy that must cloud it . [Percy]_99-percy and [Herbert]_197-harding hoped [he]_76-edward would arrive within the three weeks , as then [they]_{3941-the young party} should be with [him]_76-edward at least a week or ten days . If delayed , [he]_76-edward would very provokingly just arrive as [they]_{3941-the young party} would be returning to [college]_5691-college . After much painful deliberation , [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} determined on making [Herbert]_197-harding [[her]_{2543-the pirate frigate which they had taken to england} messenger]_{2554-her messenger} with these unexpected tidings to [Ellen]_113-ellen ; hoping more than [she]_{2543-the pirate frigate which they had taken to england} expressed that [his]_197-harding gentle eloquence in bringing before [her]_{2543-the pirate frigate which they had taken to england} the misery to which [she]_{2543-the pirate frigate which they had taken to england} must condemn [[her]_{2543-the pirate frigate which they had taken to england} brother]_{384-her brother} if [she]_{2543-the pirate frigate which they had taken to england} would persist in this silence , and so compel an appeal to [him]_76-edward , would have some effect ; especially as [she]_{2543-the pirate frigate which they had taken to england} charged [him]_76-edward to impress upon [her]_{2543-the pirate frigate which they had taken to england} that even now confession should bring pardon , and concealment of all from [Edward]_76-edward . [Herbert]_197-harding gladly undertook the mission , and so feelingly , so earnestly discharged it , that [poor Ellen]_113-ellen felt more heart - broken than [she]_113-ellen had done yet , and almost incapable of retaining [her]_113-ellen firmness . But [she]_113-ellen did ; for danger to [Edward]_76-edward seemed more imminent now that [he]_76-edward was coming [home]_563-home , to [the very vicinity of [[his]_76-edward dreaded uncle]_{2558-his dreaded uncle}]_{2557-the very vicinity of his dreaded uncle} , than when [he]_76-edward was at a distance . [She]_113-ellen could only feel thankful — if concealment were indeed so absolutely necessary as [he]_76-edward had declared it to be — that [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} was still from [home]_563-home , and might continue to be so during [Edward]_76-edward 's visit . It was difficult to repress the sickening shudder , when [Herbert]_197-harding chanced to mention that [Harding]_197-harding was [[[her]_113-ellen brother]_{384-her brother} 's companion]_{2561-her brother 's companion} in [his]_76-edward voyage [home]_563-home , and difficult , not to express more disappointment than the occasion warranted , that [Edward]_76-edward had not answered [her]_113-ellen last letter . [He]_76-edward must have received it , [Herbert]_197-harding said , for [Sir Edward]_76-edward acknowledged [[his]_76-edward father]_{406-his father} 's in which [hers]_113-ellen to [Edward]_76-edward had been inclosed . [He]_76-edward left [her]_113-ellen after a very long interview , deeply grieved at the failure of all [his]_76-edward persuasions , all [his]_76-edward remonstrances , but compelled , [he]_76-edward could not satisfactorily explain why , either to [himself]_76-edward or to [[his]_76-edward family]_{4086-his family} , to pity far more than to blame . [Percy]_99-percy declared , as did [Caroline]_120-caroline and [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} , that it must be only [his]_99-percy own too kind and gentle disposition , which never could blame [anybody]_4984-anybody or any thing . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} was bitterly disappointed ; [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} insisted that such obduracy demanded nothing but the sternest treatment , and [he]_{128-mr. howard} only wished [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's letter could arrive at once . [He]_76-edward saw [Ellen]_113-ellen again [himself]_76-edward twice in the five weeks , which elapsed between the discovery of [her]_113-ellen sin and the arrival of [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's answer ; but if kindness had so failed , it was comparatively easy to resist [his]_76-edward well - intentioned , but in this case utterly mistaken sternness . [He]_76-edward was in general so kind even in [his]_76-edward judgments , that [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} thought [he]_76-edward must have some reason to believe [Ellen]_113-ellen so thoroughly hardened , and from [his]_76-edward report of [her]_113-ellen was enabled to impart [[her]_113-ellen husband]_{340-her husband} 's sentence with more firmness , than had [she]_113-ellen listened to [her]_113-ellen own kind , still loving heart . It was as [she]_113-ellen and [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} had both expected . [Ellen]_113-ellen was no longer to remain at [Oakwood]_12-oakwood , but to be placed under the care of [a maiden lady]_{2567-a maiden lady} , living in [Yorkshire]_37-yorkshire , [a relation of [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton}]_{2568-a relation of mr. hamilton} , and one who had occasionally visited [Oakwood]_12-oakwood , and was , therefore , well known to [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , and to [Ellis]_135-ellis too , and regarded with such dislike by [the latter]_{608-the latter} , as to make [her]_113-ellen actually venture to entreat [[her]_113-ellen mistress]_{733-her mistress} not to send [Miss Ellen]_113-ellen to [her]_{733-her mistress} ; [she]_113-ellen was sure it would break [her]_113-ellen heart . Now [Miss Seldon]_{211-miss seldon} was [one of the worthiest women that ever breathed]_{2571-one of the worthiest women that ever breathed} — honest , straightforward , truth - speaking literally to a fault , but as hard as [she]_{211-miss seldon} was true . Whether [she]_{211-miss seldon} ever had any feelings or not , [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , with all [her]_{211-miss seldon} penetration , never could discover ; but the good [she]_{211-miss seldon} did was immense in practical benevolence , though the quick sympathy , the kindly word , the indulgent thought , seemed utterly unknown . [She]_{211-miss seldon} had no pity for faults or failings , always declaring forbearance and love were all folly ; " if a branch were in the slightest degree decayed , cut it off ; if the blight extend to the root , destroy it , "_{[211-miss seldon]} [she]_{211-miss seldon} was fond of saying . As for youthful follies or errors , [she]_{211-miss seldon} had no patience with them , for never having been , or rather felt young [herself]_{211-miss seldon} , [she]_{211-miss seldon} could not understand the age in [others]_756-others . [Ellis]_135-ellis had not discrimination enough to discern the good which lay under this very disagreeable exterior ; [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had ; and suffering as [she]_{211-miss seldon} knew a residence with [her]_{211-miss seldon} must be to [Ellen]_113-ellen , if indeed [she]_{211-miss seldon} were really the character [she]_{211-miss seldon} had seemed in childhood — though the last few months had so contradicted it — [she]_{211-miss seldon} felt [[her]_{211-miss seldon} husband]_{340-her husband} had decided wisely , spite of the misery which still even the very thought of sending [[her]_{211-miss seldon} orphan niece]_{2342-her orphan niece} so completely from [her]_{211-miss seldon} , was to [herself]_{211-miss seldon} . [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's letter read harshly , but [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} wife]_{521-his wife} knew [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} high , almost stern principles ; [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had not seen [Ellen]_113-ellen 's evident anguish ; [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} could only judge from the relation which had been sent [him]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , and all which that told was indeed against [her]_113-ellen . Of course [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} said , if [she]_113-ellen had confessed , and [her]_113-ellen confession in any degree , pleaded for [her]_113-ellen , [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} wife]_{521-his wife} would use [her]_{521-his wife} own judgment as to the period of [her]_113-ellen banishment ; but [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} could not imagine any cause for [her]_113-ellen conduct sufficiently excusing , as to demand the avoidance of [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} sentence altogether . [Miss Seldon]_{211-miss seldon} 's last visit to [Oakwood]_12-oakwood was sufficiently well remembered by [the young Hamiltons]_{138-the young hamiltons} ( though , it was before [[their]_{138-the young hamiltons} cousins]_{3985-their cousins} had arrived from [India]_7-india ) , for [them]_{138-the young hamiltons} all — even [Percy]_99-percy and [Caroline]_120-caroline , the most indignant against [Ellen]_113-ellen — to think of [[their]_{138-the young hamiltons} father]_{965-their father} 's sentence with the deepest regret , and with almost dread for its effect on [Ellen]_113-ellen . " If [she]_113-ellen did but know [her]_113-ellen , [she]_113-ellen must speak , "_{[78-emmeline]} was [Emmeline]_78-emmeline 's exclamation . " [I]_78-emmeline did not feel quite sure that [I]_78-emmeline was [my]_78-emmeline own happy self , all the time [she]_113-ellen was with [us]_{138-the young hamiltons} . "_{[78-emmeline]} " The atmosphere was frozen twenty degrees below zero in [all the rooms [she]_113-ellen frequented]_{5964-all the rooms she frequented} , though it was otherwise a hot summer , "_[99-percy] rejoined [Percy]_99-percy ; " and in [Yorkshire]_37-yorkshire — "_[99-percy] " Pray do not joke , [dear Percy]_99-percy ; [I]_197-harding can not bear to think of [Ellen]_113-ellen going away from [us]_{138-the young hamiltons} at all , much less to [such a guardian]_{5965-such a guardian} , though [I]_197-harding know [she]_113-ellen is very good , "_{[197-harding]} answered [Herbert]_197-harding . " Now , [[my]_197-harding good fellow]_{991-my good fellow} , do not attempt to say a word for [Nancy Seldon]_{212-nancy seldon} ; [she]_{212-nancy seldon} was [the only person in [the world]_{592-the world}]_{5967-the only person in the world} [I]_197-harding ever heard [you]_99-percy acknowledge [you]_99-percy disliked ; so what must [she]_{212-nancy seldon} be ? Worthy ! no doubt , or [[my]_197-harding father]_{3451-my father} would not have trusted [Ellen]_113-ellen to [her]_{212-nancy seldon} , but for any thing else — "_{[197-harding]} " [Poor Ellen]_113-ellen ! [she]_113-ellen little knows to what [her]_113-ellen obstinacy is condemning [her]_113-ellen , "_{[120-caroline]} rejoined [Caroline]_120-caroline ; " [I]_120-caroline wish [she]_113-ellen did and then [she]_113-ellen might spare [herself]_113-ellen and [mamma]_3420-mamma , too ; though [I]_120-caroline fear even confession would not help [her]_113-ellen much now . "_{[120-caroline]} [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} might and did think with [them]_2579-they all , but [she]_2580-she could not swerve from [her]_2580-she duty . [She]_2580-she wrote at once to [Miss Seldon]_{211-miss seldon} , not entering into particulars , but merely asking if [she]_2580-she would consent to take charge of [a relative]_{2581-a relative} , whose conduct demanded more rigid watchfulness and care , and an entire cessation of indulgence , than could be the case in [the family circle at [Oakwood]_12-oakwood]_{2582-the family circle at oakwood} . [She]_2580-she and [[her]_2580-she husband]_{340-her husband} had such perfect confidence in [her]_2580-she , [she]_2580-she said , that if [she]_2580-she could oblige [them]_2579-they by undertaking the duty , [they]_2579-they knew , without any assurance on [her]_2580-she part , that [she]_2580-she would discharge it faithfully . The yearly sum [they]_2579-they offered was large , because [they]_2579-they wished [[their]_2579-they young relative]_{2584-their young relative} to have all the comforts and appurtenances of [a gentlewoman]_{2585-a gentlewoman} , and the advantages of the best education , [the city near which [she]_2580-she resided]_{2586-the city near which she resided} , could afford . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had no doubt of the affirmative nature of the reply , for [Miss Seldon]_{211-miss seldon} owed the recovery of [her]_{211-miss seldon} fortune and position entirely to the exertions of [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} ; and [she]_{211-miss seldon} had told [him]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , once for all , that if [she]_{211-miss seldon} could but serve or oblige [him]_{81-mrs. hamilton} in any way , great or small , it would make [her]_{211-miss seldon} far happier than [she]_{211-miss seldon} had ever been , or was likely to be in [her]_{211-miss seldon} solitary life . The letter written and dispatched , [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} summoned [Ellen]_113-ellen once more to [her]_2580-she presence . The scene was again [the library]_{3958-the library} , where [she]_{211-miss seldon} had been writing , and the time nearing the short twilight of October . It was three weeks , rather more , since [Sir Edward Manly]_76-edward 's letter had been received , and [Edward]_76-edward was , therefore , almost daily expected . The feelings with which [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} unhappy sister]_{2588-his unhappy sister} looked to [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} return it would be a vain attempt to define . At times the intense longing to see [him]_{81-mrs. hamilton} again , caused a wild , almost sick feeling of pleasure , that [she]_{211-miss seldon} might , perhaps , so soon do so ; then came all that had passed , and [she]_{211-miss seldon} pictured [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} anger , [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} loathing — true it had been for [him]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , but [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had not thought of such a deed . [He]_{81-mrs. hamilton} would , [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} must hate and spurn [her]_{211-miss seldon} , too ; and the idea of meeting [him]_{81-mrs. hamilton} became absolute agony . Then — and [she]_{211-miss seldon} shuddered in dread — would [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} think that [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} must acknowledge it was for [him]_{81-mrs. hamilton} [she]_{211-miss seldon} had thus acted ? and , if so , had [she]_{211-miss seldon} not betrayed instead of saving [him]_{81-mrs. hamilton} ? Incident after incident in [their]_2589-their childhood rose before [her]_{211-miss seldon} , to give [her]_{211-miss seldon} hope that [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} would be silent now as then , and not betray [himself]_{81-mrs. hamilton} ; but these contending terrors , united with the constant though silent suffering of [her]_{211-miss seldon} banishment from all [she]_{211-miss seldon} loved , the utter hopelessness as to the end of this trial , had not been without their effect on the outward frame . [Ellis]_135-ellis did not see it , from so constantly watching [her]_{211-miss seldon} , and from [Ellen]_113-ellen never refusing to take the exercise [she]_{211-miss seldon} desired [her]_{211-miss seldon} , and not making a single complaint as to the pain it was sometimes to walk , and always to swallow [her]_113-ellen meals ; but as [she]_{211-miss seldon} stood opposite to [[her]_{211-miss seldon} aunt]_{367-her aunt} , in the full light of the oriel window — [her]_{211-miss seldon} approach had been so noiseless , [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , who was bending over some papers , did not see [her]_{211-miss seldon} till [she]_{211-miss seldon} chanced to look up — the attenuation of form and feature was so very visible , that [[her]_{211-miss seldon} aunt]_{367-her aunt} could not prevent [herself]_{367-her aunt} from starting painfully , and the words with which [she]_{367-her aunt} had intended to address [her]_{367-her aunt} froze on [her]_{367-her aunt} lips . It was with the utmost difficulty [she]_{367-her aunt} refrained from folding [her]_{367-her aunt} to [her]_{367-her aunt} heart , and trying , by every means affection could devise , to soothe or remove that anguish , whatever its nature , far too deep and constant for [one so very young]_{2592-one so very young} ; but how dared [she]_{367-her aunt} do this , when , by this determined silence , [Ellen]_113-ellen so defied [her]_{367-her aunt} authority , and seemed so resolved that neither severity nor kindness , nor [her]_113-ellen own sufferings should humble [her]_113-ellen spirit , though they had even affected [her]_113-ellen frame ? Conquering with a powerful effort the pleadings of affection , [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} calmly entered on the subject for which [she]_{367-her aunt} had summoned [her]_113-ellen , reading to [her]_113-ellen a greater part of [[her]_{211-miss seldon} uncle]_{519-her uncle} 's letter , hoping that its severity would spare [her]_113-ellen the pain of any additional remarks . Every word seemed to burn itself on [Ellen]_113-ellen 's brain . What [she]_113-ellen had hoped [she]_113-ellen knew not , for [she]_113-ellen thought [she]_113-ellen had never hoped at all , but the words , " No cause can be excusing enough to justify the entire setting aside this sentence , "_[113-ellen] seemed by its agony to tell [her]_113-ellen that the thought had entered [her]_113-ellen mind , if the real cause were by any chance discovered would [she]_113-ellen be forgiven , and in time restored to confidence and love ? And now it was over , even that hope was gone . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} paused for a reply or an observation , but none came , and [she]_{367-her aunt} continued , impressively—"I can scarcely hope , [Ellen]_113-ellen , that as even the idea of sparing [[your]_113-ellen only brother]_{5971-your only brother} shame and misery , on [his]_{5971-your only brother} return [home]_563-home , expecting nothing but joy , after nearly three years ' separation and exposure to danger , has had no effect in softening [you]_113-ellen , that [[your]_113-ellen uncle]_{3427-your uncle} 's sentence will . Once [I]_{367-her aunt} should have believed that only the thought of leaving [me]_{367-her aunt} , and going to the care of [a stranger]_{410-a stranger} , would have urged [you]_113-ellen to speak directly . [I]_{367-her aunt} can believe this no longer ; but as [I]_{367-her aunt} wish [you]_113-ellen to be with [Edward]_76-edward , at least part of [his]_76-edward stay with [us]_5975-us , [I]_{367-her aunt} shall postpone [your]_113-ellen leaving [us]_5975-us , one month from to - day . If , indeed , [Edward]_76-edward 's influence be such that , for [his]_76-edward sake , [you]_113-ellen will make [me]_{367-her aunt} a full confession and answer clearly and distinctly every question [I]_{367-her aunt} put to [you]_113-ellen , [[your]_113-ellen residence with [Miss Seldon]_{211-miss seldon}]_{5976-your residence with miss seldon} shall be limited to three , six , ten , or twelve months , according to the nature of the motive of this incomprehensible and , apparently most sinful conduct . If [you]_113-ellen leave [us]_5975-us still obdurate , years will , in all probability , pass before [we]_5975-us can feel sufficiently confident in the restored integrity and openness of [your]_113-ellen character to permit [your]_113-ellen return to [us]_5975-us . The pain [you]_113-ellen are inflicting upon [me]_{367-her aunt} it is useless to dwell upon . As [the child of [[my]_{367-her aunt} only and most dearly loved sister]_{5978-my only and most dearly loved sister}]_{5977-the child of my only and most dearly loved sister} , [I]_{367-her aunt} have loved [you]_113-ellen , hoped for [you]_113-ellen , with little less intensity of affection than that [I]_{367-her aunt} have borne toward [my]_{367-her aunt} own ; for [I]_{367-her aunt} felt that , with the sole exception of [[your]_113-ellen brother]_{3473-your brother} , [I]_{367-her aunt} was the only being [you]_113-ellen had on [earth]_3497-earth united to [you]_113-ellen by ties of blood . How this conduct repays [my]_{367-her aunt} love and care [you]_113-ellen must answer to [yourself]_113-ellen ; [I]_{367-her aunt} can only be sensible of bitter disappointment . "_{[367-her aunt]} Again [she]_2594-she stopped , evidently expecting a reply , but [Ellen]_113-ellen still remained silent . The short twilight of autumn had set in so suddenly , that [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} was not aware [[her]_2594-she niece]_{372-her niece} 's cheek had become still paler , and that [her]_2594-she white lips quivered repeatedly , as if [she]_2594-she several times tried to speak , but could not . After a silence of some minutes , [she]_2594-she said — " If [you]_113-ellen are determined not to speak , [Ellen]_113-ellen , [you]_113-ellen may retire . [I]_2594-she have told [you]_113-ellen all [I]_2594-she wished to say , except that till [you]_113-ellen leave [us]_5981-us though [you]_113-ellen will still occupy [[your]_113-ellen present rooms]_{5982-your present rooms} , and be still under [Ellis]_135-ellis 's care , [you]_113-ellen are at liberty to employ [yourself]_113-ellen , and go about [the house]_{3775-the house} and [grounds]_5984-grounds as usual . "_[2594-she] [Ellen]_113-ellen turned to go , still in that unbroken silence ; [she]_113-ellen had reached the low step dividing the upper part from the lower part of [the room]_{356-the room} , and whether [she]_113-ellen did not see it , or from some other cause , [the room]_{356-the room} suddenly reeled before [her]_113-ellen , and [she]_113-ellen fell heavily forward . To spring toward [her]_113-ellen , raise [her]_113-ellen tenderly , bear [her]_113-ellen to the nearest couch , though [she]_113-ellen so trembled [herself]_113-ellen at finding [Ellen]_113-ellen quite insensible , as to render the task unusually difficult , and to ring hastily for [Ellis]_135-ellis , was the work of a minute , but it was many minutes before [their]_2598-their united efforts could bring back consciousness . " [I]_135-ellis knew it would break [her]_113-ellen heart , [poor lamb]_{5985-poor lamb} ! "_[135-ellis] was [Ellis]_135-ellis 's exclamation , in a tone of most unusual excitement ; " thank [God]_85-god , thank [God]_85-god ! [Master Edward]_194-edward 's coming [home]_563-home , and that [she]_113-ellen is not to go till [he]_194-edward does . "_[135-ellis] " Have [you]_135-ellis so much confidence in [his]_194-edward influence ? "_{[733-her mistress]} asked [[her]_113-ellen mistress]_{733-her mistress} , as , unable to resist the impulse , [she]_{733-her mistress} bent down and repeatedly kissed the cold brow and cheek , to which [she]_{733-her mistress} was so earnestly striving to restore warmth , " [God]_85-god in mercy grant [you]_135-ellis may be right ! "_{[733-her mistress]} " Right ? Dear [[my]_135-ellis lady]_{5987-my lady} ! "_[135-ellis] ( whenever [Ellis]_135-ellis was strongly moved , [she]_135-ellis always so addressed [[her]_135-ellis mistress]_{733-her mistress} ;) " [I]_135-ellis would stake [your]_{733-her mistress} confidence in [me]_135-ellis , which is all [my]_135-ellis life 's worth , if [Master Edward]_194-edward is not at the bottom of it all , and that [this poor child]_{5988-this poor child} is sacrificing [herself]_{5988-this poor child} for some fancied danger to [him]_194-edward ! [I]_135-ellis saw enough of that work when [they]_5989-they were [young children]_{4770-young children} , and [I]_135-ellis have noticed enough since [she]_{5988-this poor child} has been under [my]_135-ellis care . "_[135-ellis] " [Edward]_194-edward ! "_{[81-mrs. hamilton]} repeated [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , so bewildered , as to stop for the moment chafing [Ellen]_113-ellen 's cold hand ; " [Edward]_194-edward ! bearing the high character [he]_194-edward does ; what can [he]_194-edward have to do with it ? "_{[81-mrs. hamilton]} " [I]_2601-i do n't know , [[my]_2601-i lady]_{5987-my lady} , but [I]_2601-i am sure [he]_194-edward has . [Young men]_{2297-young men} , ay , [some of the finest and bravest among [us]_5994-we]_{5993-some of the finest and bravest among us} , get into difficulties sometimes , and it do n't touch [[their]_{2297-young men} characters]_{4801-their characters} as [[their]_{2297-young men} officers]_{5996-their officers} see [them]_{2297-young men} , and [Master Edward]_194-edward was always so terrified at the mere thought of [[my]_2601-i master]_{5997-my master} knowing any of [his]_194-edward faults ; but — hush ! [we]_5994-we must not let [her]_2601-i know [we]_5994-we suspect any thing , [poor lamb]_{5985-poor lamb} ; it will make [her]_2601-i still more miserable . [You]_113-ellen are better now , [dear Miss Ellen]_113-ellen , are [you]_113-ellen not ? "_[2601-i] [she]_2601-i added , soothingly , as [Ellen]_113-ellen feebly raised [her]_113-ellen hand to [her]_113-ellen forehead , and then slowly unclosed [her]_113-ellen eyes , and beheld [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} leaning over [her]_113-ellen , with that same expression of anxious affection , which [her]_113-ellen illness had so often caused in [her]_113-ellen childhood . Sense , or rather memory , had not quite returned , and [her]_113-ellen first words were , with a faint but happy smile — " [I]_113-ellen am better , [dear aunt]_{3449-dear aunt} , much better ; [I]_113-ellen dare say [I]_113-ellen shall soon be well . "_[113-ellen] But it was only a momentary forgetfulness ; swift as thought came the whole of what had so lately passed — [[her]_113-ellen uncle]_{519-her uncle} 's letter , [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} 's words , and murmuring , in a tone how painfully changed ! " [I]_113-ellen forgot — forgive [me]_113-ellen , "_[113-ellen] [she]_113-ellen buried [her]_113-ellen face in the pillow . " [Ellen]_113-ellen , [[my]_2605-my dear]_{3485-my dear} [Ellen]_113-ellen ! why will [you]_113-ellen persist in making [yourself]_113-ellen and [me]_2605-my so miserable , when a few words would make [us]_6001-us happier ? "_[2605-my] exclaimed [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , almost imploringly , as [she]_2605-my bent over [her]_113-ellen . " Do not urge [her]_113-ellen now , [[dear]_3435-dear [my]_135-ellis lady]_{6003-dear my lady} , [she]_113-ellen is not well enough ; give [her]_113-ellen till [Master Edward]_194-edward comes ; [I]_135-ellis am sure [she]_113-ellen will not resist [him]_194-edward , "_[135-ellis] answered [Ellis]_135-ellis , very respectfully , though meaningly , as [her]_135-ellis look drew [[her]_135-ellis mistress]_{733-her mistress} 's attention to the shudder which convulsed [Ellen]_113-ellen 's slight frame , at the mention of [[her]_135-ellis brother]_{384-her brother} . Pained and bewildered more than ever , [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , after waiting till the faintness seemed quite gone , and thinking that if the restraint of [her]_135-ellis presence were removed , [Ellen]_113-ellen might be relieved by tears , left [her]_{733-her mistress} , desiring [Ellis]_135-ellis to let [her]_113-ellen know in a short time how [she]_113-ellen was . The moment the door closed , [Ellen]_113-ellen threw [her]_113-ellen arms round [Ellis]_135-ellis 's neck , exclaiming passionately — " Take [me]_113-ellen away — take [me]_113-ellen away , dear [Ellis]_135-ellis ; [I]_113-ellen can not bear [this room]_{1858-this room} — it seems all full of misery ! and [I]_113-ellen loved it so once , and [I]_113-ellen shall love it again , when [I]_113-ellen am miles and miles away , and can not see it — nor [any one belonging to it]_{6005-any one belonging to it} . Oh , [Ellis]_135-ellis , [Ellis]_135-ellis ! [I]_113-ellen knew [you]_135-ellis were too kind . [I]_113-ellen was too glad and contented to be with [you]_135-ellis ; it was not punishment enough for [my]_113-ellen sin — and [I]_113-ellen must go away — and [I]_113-ellen shall never , never see [[my]_113-ellen aunt]_{3424-my aunt} again — [I]_113-ellen know [I]_113-ellen shall not . Oh ! if [I]_113-ellen might but die first ! but [I]_113-ellen am too wicked for that ; it is only the good that die . "_[113-ellen] And almost for the first time since [her]_2608-her sin had been discovered , [she]_2608-her gave way to a long and violent fit of weeping , which , though terrible while it lasted , as the anguish of [the young]_{2609-the young} always is , greatly relieved [her]_2608-her , and enabled [her]_2608-her after that day not to revert in words ( the thought never left [her]_2608-her till a still more fearful anxiety deadened it ) to [[her]_2608-her uncle]_{519-her uncle} 's sentence again . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} sat for a very long time alone after [she]_2608-her had left [Ellen]_113-ellen . [Ellis]_135-ellis 's words returned to [her]_2608-her again and again so pertinaciously , that [she]_2608-her could not break from them . [Edward]_194-edward ! the cause of it all — could it be possible?—could it be , that [he]_194-edward had plunged [himself]_194-edward into difficulties , and afraid to appeal to [[his]_194-edward uncle]_{443-his uncle} or [her]_2612-her , had so worked on [Ellen]_113-ellen as not only to make [her]_113-ellen send relief , but actually so to keep [his]_194-edward secret , as to endure every thing rather than betray it ? Circumstance after circumstance , thought after thought , so congregated upon [her]_2608-her , so seemed to burst into being , and flash light one from the other , that [her]_2608-her mind ached beneath [their]_2613-their pressure . [Ellen]_113-ellen 's unhappiness the day [his]_194-edward last letter had been received , [her]_113-ellen sudden illness — had it taken place before or after [Robert]_197-harding had lost the money ? [She]_2608-her could not satisfy [herself]_2608-her , for [[her]_2608-her husband]_{340-her husband} 's sudden summons to Feroe , hasty preparations , and departure , had rendered all the month confused and unsatisfactory in its recollections . So intense was the relief of the idea , that [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} feared to encourage it , lest it should prove a mere fancy , and urge softer feelings toward [[her]_2608-her niece]_{372-her niece} than ought to be . Even the supposition made [her]_2608-her heart yearn toward [her]_2608-her with such a feeling of love , almost of veneration , for the determined self - devotion , so essentially [woman]_1915-woman 's characteristic , that [she]_2608-her resolutely checked its ascendency . All [her]_2608-her previous fancies , that [Ellen]_113-ellen was [no ordinary child]_{2617-no ordinary child} , that early suffering and neglect had , while [they]_2613-their produced some childish faults , matured and deepened the capabilities of endurance and control , from the consciousness ( or rather existence , for it was not the consciousness to [the child]_{346-the child} [herself]_{346-the child} ) of strong feeling , returned to [her]_2608-her , as if determined to confirm [Ellis]_135-ellis 's supposition . The disappearance of [her]_2608-her allowance ; [her]_2608-her assertion , that [she]_2608-her was seeking [[Mrs. Langford]_{204-mrs. langford} 's cottage]_{2161-mrs. langford 's cottage} , by [that shorter but forbidden path]_{2620-that shorter but forbidden path} , to try and get [her]_2608-her to dispose of [her]_2608-her trinkets , when the wind blew the notes to [her]_2608-her hand — all now seemed connected one with the other , and confirmed . [She]_2608-her could well understand , how in a moment of almost madness they might have been used without thought , and the after - effect upon so delicate a mind and conscience . Then , in contradiction to all this ( a mere hypothesis raised on nothing firmer than [Ellis]_135-ellis 's supposition ) , came the constantly favorable accounts of [Edward]_194-edward ; [[his]_194-edward captain]_{5418-his captain} 's pride and confidence in [him]_194-edward ; the seeming impossibility that [he]_194-edward could get into such difficulties , and what were [they]_2622-they ? The name of [Harding]_197-harding rushed on [her]_2608-her mind , [she]_2608-her knew not why or how — but it made [her]_2608-her tremble , by its probable explanation of the whole . A coarse or even less refined mind , would have either appealed at once to [Ellen]_113-ellen , as to the truth of this suspicion , or thought [herself]_2608-her justified in looking over all [Edward]_194-edward 's letters to [[his]_194-edward sister]_{561-his sister} , as thus to discover the truth ; but in [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's pure mind the idea never even entered , though all [[her]_2608-her niece]_{372-her niece} 's papers and letters were in [her]_2608-her actual possession . [She]_2608-her could only feel to [her]_2608-her heart 's core with [Ellis]_135-ellis , " Thank [God]_85-god , [Master Edward]_194-edward 's coming [home]_563-home ! "_[2608-her] and pray earnestly that [he]_194-edward might be with [them]_2625-they , as [they]_2625-they hoped and anticipated , in a few , a very few days . The earnest wishes and prayers of [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} and [[her]_2608-her faithful]_{2626-her faithful} [Ellis]_135-ellis were disappointed . The latter part of the month of September had been exceedingly stormy , and though there was a lull from about the 3d to the 9th of October , the equinoctial gales then set in with the utmost fury ; continuing day after day , night after night , till the ear seemed almost to tire of the sound , and [the mind]_{2627-the mind} , anxious for [friends]_3577-friends at [sea]_579-sea , despair of [their]_2625-they cessation . During the few calm days , [the young party at]_{2630-the young party at} [Oakwood]_12-oakwood had scarcely been absent from the windows , or from that part of [the park leading to [the Plymouth road]_{2632-the plymouth road}]_{2631-the park leading to the plymouth road} , above an hour at a time . [Percy]_99-percy and [Herbert]_197-harding rode over to [Plymouth]_47-plymouth , but were told [the frigate]_{2633-the frigate} could not be in for a full week . The late storms must have detained [her]_{2633-the frigate} , though [she]_{2633-the frigate} was [a fast - sailing craft]_{2634-a fast - sailing craft} . It was a great disappointment to [them]_2625-they , for on the 10th of October college term began , and [they]_2625-they were compelled to return to [Oxford]_36-oxford . The cause of [[their]_2625-they mother]_{488-their mother} 's intense desire for [Edward]_194-edward 's return , indeed , [they]_2625-they did not know ; but [they]_2625-they were most impatient to see [him]_194-edward , and [they]_2625-they hoped , [they]_2625-they did not exactly know what , with regard to [his]_194-edward influence with [Ellen]_113-ellen . However , the day of [their]_2625-they departure came , and still [he]_194-edward had not arrived , and the storms had recommenced . [Percy]_99-percy had gone to say good - by to [Ellis]_135-ellis , with whom [Ellen]_113-ellen chanced at that moment to be . Full of spirits and jokes , [he]_99-percy determinately looked away from [[his]_99-percy cousin]_{2154-his cousin} , took both [Ellis]_135-ellis 's hands , and shook [them]_2637-them with [his]_99-percy usual heartiness . " Good - by , dear [Ellis]_135-ellis . [I]_99-percy wonder if [I]_99-percy shall ever feel [myself]_99-percy [a man]_{5424-a man} when talking to [you]_135-ellis . How many tricks [I]_99-percy have played [you]_135-ellis in [this room]_{1858-this room} , and [you]_135-ellis were always so good - natured , even when one of [my]_99-percy seat - crackers set [your]_135-ellis best gown on fire , and quite spoiled it ; do [you]_135-ellis remember it ? [I]_99-percy do think [you]_135-ellis were nearly angry then , and quite enough to make [you]_135-ellis ; and papa made [me]_99-percy save up [my]_99-percy money to buy [you]_135-ellis a new dress . [I]_99-percy did not play such a practical joke in a hurry again . "_[99-percy] [Ellis]_135-ellis laughed and perfectly remembered it , and with another hearty good - by [he]_2638-he turned away . " [You]_135-ellis have forgotten [[your]_135-ellis cousin]_{929-your cousin} , [Mr. Percy]_99-percy , "_[2639-she] [she]_2639-she said , disregarding [Ellen]_113-ellen 's imploring look . " When [she]_{929-your cousin} remembers [her]_{929-your cousin} duty to [[my]_2638-he mother]_{890-my mother} , [I]_2638-he will remember that [she]_{929-your cousin} is [[my]_2638-he cousin]_{1054-my cousin} , "_[2638-he] was [his]_2638-he hasty answer , and [he]_2638-he hurried from [the room]_{356-the room} as [Herbert]_197-harding entered . [His]_2638-he good - by to [Ellis]_135-ellis was quite as warm as [Percy]_99-percy 's , and then turning to [Ellen]_113-ellen , [he]_2638-he put [his]_2638-he arm round [her]_113-ellen , kissed [her]_113-ellen cheek , and said , with impressive earnestness — " God bless [you]_113-ellen , dear [Ellen]_113-ellen ! [I]_2638-he hope [you]_113-ellen will be happier when [we]_6013-we meet again , and that it will not be so long before [we]_6013-we do , as [we]_6013-we fancy now ; "_[2638-he] and , affected almost to tears at the grateful , humble look [she]_113-ellen raised to [his]_2638-he , [he]_2638-he left [her]_113-ellen . Overcome as much by the harshness of [the generous , warm - hearted Percy , whom [she]_113-ellen so dearly loved]_{2641-the generous , warm - hearted percy , whom she so dearly loved} , as by the gentle kindness of [Herbert]_197-harding , [Ellen]_113-ellen remained for several minutes with [her]_113-ellen arms on the table , [her]_113-ellen face hid upon them . [She]_113-ellen thought [she]_113-ellen was quite alone , for [Ellis]_135-ellis had gone about some of [her]_113-ellen business , when [she]_113-ellen was startled by [Percy]_99-percy 's voice . " [I]_99-percy am [a brute]_{6014-a brute} , [Ellen]_113-ellen , nothing less ; forgive [me]_99-percy , and say good - by . [I]_99-percy ca n't understand it at all , but angry as [I]_99-percy am with [you]_113-ellen , [your]_113-ellen pale face haunts [me]_99-percy like a specter , so [we]_6015-we must part [friends]_3577-friends ; "_[99-percy] and as [she]_113-ellen looked hastily up , [he]_99-percy kissed [her]_113-ellen warmly twice , and ran away without another word . Days passed heavily , the gales seeming to increase in violence , and causing [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} more terrible anxiety and vague dread than [she]_113-ellen allowed to be visible . The damage among [the shipping]_{2642-the shipping} was fearful , and [the very supposed vicinity of [the frigate]_{2633-the frigate} to [the Channel]_{2645-the channel}]_{2643-the very supposed vicinity of the frigate to the channel} increased the danger . The papers every morning presented long lists of [ships wrecked]_{2646-ships wrecked} , or fatally dismantled , loss of [crews]_2647-crews or part of [them]_{2646-ships wrecked} , mails and cargoes due but missing : and the vivid recollection of the supposed fate of [[her]_113-ellen own brother]_{2648-her own brother} , the wretchedness of the suspense before the fate of [[his]_{2648-her own brother} vessel]_{2649-his vessel} was ascertained , returned to heighten the fears that would gain ascendency for [[her]_113-ellen nephew]_{696-her nephew} , and for the effect of this terrible suspense on [Ellen]_113-ellen , more especially — if indeed [she]_113-ellen had endured all these weeks , nay , months , of misery for [him]_{2648-her own brother} . At first [Ellen]_113-ellen seemed unconscious that there was any thing remarkable in the delay , the thought of [her]_113-ellen own departure being uppermost ; but when the thought did press upon [her]_113-ellen , how it came [she]_113-ellen knew not — that of the given month the weeks were passing , and [Edward]_194-edward had not arrived , and that there must be some reason for the long delay — storm , shipwreck , death , all flashed upon [her]_113-ellen at once , and almost maddened [her]_113-ellen . The quiet calm of endurance gave way . [She]_113-ellen could not sleep at night from the tremendous winds ; not even when [Ellis]_135-ellis had a bed put up in [[her]_113-ellen room]_{4818-her room} , and remained with [her]_113-ellen all night [herself]_113-ellen ; [she]_113-ellen never complained indeed , but hour after hour [she]_113-ellen would pace [[her]_113-ellen room]_{4818-her room} and [the passage leading to [Ellis]_135-ellis 's]_{2653-the passage leading to ellis 's} , till compelled to cease from exhaustion ; [she]_113-ellen would try steadily to employ [herself]_113-ellen with some difficult study , and succeed , perhaps , for half an hour , but then remain powerless , or recommence [her]_113-ellen restless walk . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} made several attempts without any apparent interference on [her]_113-ellen part , to get [her]_113-ellen to sit occasionally with [her]_113-ellen and [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} , and [[her]_113-ellen cousins]_{3955-her cousins} , but [she]_113-ellen seemed to shrink from [them]_2655-them all . [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , indeed , when once aware of the terrible trial [she]_113-ellen was enduring , would sit with [her]_113-ellen , drawing or working as if nothing had occurred to estrange [them]_2655-them , and try to cheer [her]_113-ellen by talking on many topics of interest . [Caroline]_120-caroline would speak to [her]_113-ellen kindly whenever [she]_120-caroline saw [her]_113-ellen . [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} alone retained [her]_{112-miss harcourt} indignation , for no suspicion of the real cause of [her]_{112-miss harcourt} silence ever entered [her]_{112-miss harcourt} mind . [Poor Ellen]_113-ellen felt that [she]_113-ellen dared not indulge in the comfort this change in [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} 's and [cousins]_4716-cousins ' manner produced . [She]_113-ellen wanted to wean [herself]_113-ellen quite from [them]_2655-them , that the pang of separation might be less severe , but [she]_113-ellen only seemed to succeed in loving [them]_2655-them more . One thought , indeed , at length took such entire possession of [her]_113-ellen mind , as to deaden every other:—it was the horrible idea that as [she]_113-ellen had sinned to save [Edward]_194-edward , perhaps , from merited disgrace , [he]_194-edward would be taken from [her]_113-ellen ; [she]_113-ellen never breathed it , but it haunted [her]_113-ellen night and day . [Mr. Maitland]_{154-mr. maitland} saw [her]_113-ellen continually , but [he]_{154-mr. maitland} plainly told [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , while the cause of anxiety and mental suffering lasted [he]_{154-mr. maitland} could do [her]_113-ellen no good . It was a constant alternation of fearful excitement and complete depression , exhausting the whole system . Repose and kindness — alas ! the latter might be given , but the former , in the present position of affairs , how could it be insured ? The month of grace was waning ; only two days remained , and [Edward]_194-edward had not arrived , and how could [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} obey [[her]_113-ellen husband]_{340-her husband} — whose every letter reiterated [his]_{340-her husband} hope that [she]_113-ellen had not been prevailed on to alter [his]_{340-her husband} sentence , if [Ellen]_113-ellen still remained silent — and send [[her]_113-ellen niece]_{372-her niece} from [her]_113-ellen ? [She]_113-ellen came at length to the determination , that if another week passed and still there were no tidings , not to let this fearful self - sacrifice , if it really were such , last any longer , but gently , cautiously , tenderly as [she]_113-ellen could , prevail on [Ellen]_113-ellen to confide all to [her]_113-ellen , and promise , if [Edward]_194-edward really had been erring and in difficulties , all should be forgiven for [her]_113-ellen sake , and even [[his]_194-edward uncle]_{443-his uncle} 's anger averted . Once [her]_113-ellen determination taken , [she]_113-ellen felt better enabled to endure an anxiety which was injuring [her]_113-ellen almost as much as [Ellen]_113-ellen ; and [she]_113-ellen turned to [[Ellis]_135-ellis 's room]_{2661-ellis 's room} , which [she]_113-ellen had lately very often frequented , for [she]_113-ellen scarcely felt comfortable when [Ellen]_113-ellen was out of [her]_113-ellen sight , though [she]_113-ellen had full confidence in [Ellis]_135-ellis 's care . [Ellen]_113-ellen was asleep on a sofa , looking so wan , so haggard — so altered from the [Ellen]_113-ellen of five short months back , that [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} sat down by [her]_113-ellen side , pondering whether [she]_113-ellen was doing right to wait even another week , before [she]_113-ellen should try to bring relief by avowing [her]_113-ellen suspicions — but would it bring relief ? and , after all , was it for [Edward]_194-edward ? or , had [she]_113-ellen been allowing affection and imagination to mislead and soften , when sternness might still be needed ? [Ellen]_113-ellen woke with a start as from some fearful dream , and gazed at [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} for a full minute , as if [she]_113-ellen did not know [her]_113-ellen . " [[My]_113-ellen dear]_{3485-my dear} [Ellen]_113-ellen , what is it ? [You]_113-ellen have been sleeping uncomfortably — surely [you]_113-ellen know [me]_113-ellen ? "_[113-ellen] " [I]_113-ellen thought [I]_113-ellen was at — at — [Seldon Grange]_{66-seldon grange} — are [you]_{81-mrs. hamilton} sure [I]_113-ellen am not ? [Dear aunt Emmeline]_78-emmeline , do tell [me]_113-ellen [I]_113-ellen am at [Oakwood]_12-oakwood , [I]_113-ellen know [I]_113-ellen am to go , and very soon ; but [I]_113-ellen am not there now , am [I]_113-ellen ? "_[113-ellen] and [she]_113-ellen put one hand to [her]_113-ellen forehead , and gazed hurriedly and fearfully round [her]_113-ellen , while , with the other , [she]_113-ellen held tightly [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's dress . There was something alarming both in [her]_113-ellen look and tone . " No , love , [you]_113-ellen are with [me]_113-ellen still at [Oakwood]_12-oakwood , and [you]_113-ellen will not go from [me]_113-ellen till [you]_113-ellen have been with [Edward]_194-edward some little time . [You]_113-ellen can not think [I]_113-ellen would send [you]_113-ellen away now , [Ellen]_113-ellen ? "_[113-ellen] The soothing tone , [[her]_113-ellen brother]_{384-her brother} 's name , seemed to disperse the cloud , and bursting into tears , [she]_113-ellen exclaimed — " [He]_194-edward will never come — [I]_113-ellen know [he]_194-edward will never come — [my]_113-ellen sin has killed [him]_194-edward ! "_[113-ellen] " [Your]_113-ellen sin , [Ellen]_113-ellen , what can that have to do with [Edward]_194-edward ? "_[113-ellen] " Because , "_[113-ellen] the words " it was for [him]_194-edward "_[113-ellen] were actually on [her]_113-ellen lips ; but they were checked , and , in increasing excitement , [she]_113-ellen continued—"Nothing , nothing , indeed , with [him]_194-edward — what could it have ? But if [he]_194-edward knows it — oh , it will so grieve [him]_194-edward ; perhaps it would be better [I]_113-ellen should go before [he]_194-edward comes — and then , then , [he]_194-edward need not know it ; if , indeed , [he]_194-edward ever comes . "_[113-ellen] " [I]_113-ellen do not think [you]_113-ellen quite know what [you]_113-ellen are saying , [[my]_113-ellen dear]_{3485-my dear} [Ellen]_113-ellen ; [your]_113-ellen uncomfortable dream has unsettled [you]_113-ellen . Try and keep quiet for an hour , and [you]_113-ellen will be better . Remember , suffering as this dreadful suspense is , [[your]_113-ellen brother]_{3473-your brother} is still in [a Father]_{755-a father} 's gracious keeping ; and that [He]_194-edward will listen to [your]_113-ellen prayers for [his]_194-edward safety , and if it be [His]_194-edward good pleasure , still restore [him]_194-edward to [you]_113-ellen . "_[113-ellen] " [My]_113-ellen prayers , "_[113-ellen] answered [Ellen]_113-ellen , fearfully . " [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} said , there was a barrier between [Him]_194-edward and [me]_113-ellen , while [I]_113-ellen would not confess ; [I]_113-ellen had refused [His]_194-edward mercy . "_[113-ellen] " Can [you]_113-ellen confess before [God]_85-god , [Ellen]_113-ellen ? Can [you]_113-ellen lay [your]_113-ellen whole heart open before [Him]_194-edward , and ask [Him]_194-edward in [his]_194-edward infinite mercy , and for [your]_113-ellen Saviour 's sake , to forgive [you]_113-ellen ? "_[113-ellen] " [I]_113-ellen could , and did do so , "_[113-ellen] answered [Ellen]_113-ellen , returning [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's earnestly inquiring look , by raising [her]_113-ellen large , expressive eyes , steadily and fearlessly , to [her]_113-ellen face ; " but [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} told [me]_113-ellen it was a mockery and sin to suppose [God]_85-god would hear [me]_113-ellen or forgive [me]_113-ellen while [I]_113-ellen refused to obey [Him]_194-edward , by being silent and obdurate to [you]_113-ellen . That if [I]_113-ellen wished [His]_194-edward forgiveness , [I]_113-ellen must prove it by telling the whole to [you]_113-ellen , whom [His]_194-edward commandments desired [me]_113-ellen to obey , and — and — as [I]_113-ellen dared not do that , [I]_113-ellen have been afraid to pray . "_[113-ellen] And the shudder with which [she]_113-ellen laid [her]_113-ellen head again upon the pillow , betrayed the misery of the fear . " And is it impossible , quite impossible that [you]_113-ellen can confide the source of [your]_113-ellen grief and difficulty to [me]_113-ellen , [Ellen]_113-ellen ? Will [you]_113-ellen not do so , even if [I]_113-ellen promise forgiveness , not merely to [you]_113-ellen , but to [all who may have erred]_{6021-all who may have erred} ? Answer [me]_113-ellen , [[my]_113-ellen sweet child]_{3524-my sweet child} ; [your]_113-ellen silence is fearfully injuring [your]_113-ellen mind and body . Why do [you]_113-ellen fancy [you]_113-ellen dare not tell [me]_113-ellen ? "_[113-ellen] " Because , because [I]_113-ellen have promised ! "_[113-ellen] answered [Ellen]_113-ellen , in a fearful tone of returning excitement , and , sitting upright , [she]_113-ellen clasped [her]_113-ellen hands convulsively together , while [her]_113-ellen cheek burned with painful brilliancy . " [Aunt Emmeline]_78-emmeline — oh , do not , pray do not speak to [me]_113-ellen in that kind tone ! be harsh and cold again , [I]_113-ellen can bear it better . If [you]_113-ellen did but know how [my]_113-ellen heart and brain ache — how [they]_6023-they long to tell [you]_113-ellen and so rest — but [I]_113-ellen can not — [I]_113-ellen dare not — [I]_113-ellen have promised . "_[113-ellen] " And [you]_113-ellen may not tell [me]_{81-mrs. hamilton} whom [you]_113-ellen have promised ? "_{[81-mrs. hamilton]} replied [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , every former thought rendered apparently null and vain by these words , and painfully disappointing [her]_113-ellen ; but the answer terrified [her]_113-ellen . " [Mamma]_80-mamma — [I]_113-ellen promised [her]_80-mamma , and [she]_80-mamma stands by [me]_113-ellen so pale , so grieved , whenever [I]_113-ellen think of telling [you]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , "_[113-ellen] answered [Ellen]_113-ellen , clinging to [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , but looking with a strained gaze of terror on vacancy . " [I]_2663-i thought [I]_2663-i must have told [you]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , when [you]_{81-mrs. hamilton} said [I]_2663-i was to go — to go to [Seldon Grange]_{66-seldon grange} — but [she]_80-mamma stood by [me]_2663-i and laid [her]_80-mamma hand on [my]_2663-i head , and it was so cold , so heavy , [I]_2663-i do n't remember any thing more till [I]_2663-i found [you]_{81-mrs. hamilton} and [Ellis]_135-ellis leaning over [me]_2663-i ; but [I]_2663-i ought not to tell [you]_{81-mrs. hamilton} even this . [I]_2663-i know [I]_2663-i ought not — for look — look , aunt Emmeline!—don't [you]_{81-mrs. hamilton} see [mamma]_80-mamma — there — quite close to [me]_2663-i ; oh , tell [her]_80-mamma to forgive [me]_2663-i — [I]_2663-i will keep [my]_2663-i promise , "_[2663-i] and shuddering convulsively , [she]_2663-i hid [her]_2663-i face in [[her]_2663-i aunt]_{367-her aunt} 's dress . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} was dreadfully alarmed . Whatever the foundation , and [she]_2663-i had no doubt that there was some , and that it really had to do with [Edward]_194-edward and [[his]_194-edward poor mother]_{5497-his poor mother} 's mistaken partiality , [Ellen]_113-ellen 's imagination was evidently disordered . To attempt obtaining the truth , while [she]_2663-i was in this fearful state of excitement , was as impossible as cruel , and [she]_2663-i tried only to soothe [her]_2663-i to composure ; speaking of [[her]_113-ellen mother]_{345-her mother} as happy and in Heaven and that [Ellen]_113-ellen had thought of [her]_{345-her mother} so much , as was quite natural in [her]_113-ellen sorrow , that [she]_113-ellen fancied [she]_113-ellen saw [her]_{345-her mother} . " It is not reality , love ; if [she]_{345-her mother} could see and speak to [you]_113-ellen , [I]_113-ellen am sure it would be to tell [you]_113-ellen to confide all [your]_113-ellen sorrow to [me]_113-ellen , if it would make [you]_113-ellen happier . "_[113-ellen] " Oh , no , no — [I]_113-ellen should be very wicked if it made [me]_113-ellen happier ; [I]_113-ellen ought not even to wish to tell [you]_113-ellen . But [Mr. Myrvin]_{74-mr. myrvin} told [me]_113-ellen , even when [mamma]_3420-mamma went to [Heaven]_4122-heaven , [she]_{345-her mother} would still see [me]_113-ellen , and know if [I]_113-ellen kept [my]_113-ellen promise , and tried to win [her]_{345-her mother} love , by doing what [I]_113-ellen know [she]_{345-her mother} wished , even after [she]_{345-her mother} was dead ; and it was almost a pleasure to do so till now , even if it gave [me]_113-ellen pain and made [me]_113-ellen unhappy ; but now , now , [aunt Emmeline]_78-emmeline , [I]_113-ellen know [you]_113-ellen must hate [me]_113-ellen ; [you]_113-ellen never , never can love [me]_113-ellen again — and that — that is so hard to bear . "_[113-ellen] " Have [you]_113-ellen forgotten , [[my]_113-ellen dear]_{3485-my dear} [Ellen]_113-ellen , the blessed assurance , there is more joy in [Heaven]_8-heaven over [one sinner that repenteth]_{6027-one sinner that repenteth} , than [over ninety - and - nine who have not sinned]_{6028-over ninety - and - nine who have not sinned} ? and if [[our]_6029-our Father in [Heaven]_8-heaven]_{6030-our father in heaven} can so feel , so act , are [[His]_{6030-our father in heaven} creatures]_{6031-his creatures} to do less ? Do [you]_113-ellen think , because [you]_113-ellen have given [me]_113-ellen pain , and trouble and disappointment , and compelled [me]_113-ellen to use such extreme severity , and cause [you]_113-ellen so much suffering , that it will be quite impossible for [me]_113-ellen to love [you]_113-ellen again , if [I]_113-ellen see [you]_113-ellen do all [you]_113-ellen can to win back that love ? "_[113-ellen] [Ellen]_113-ellen made no answer ; but the alarming excitement had so far subsided , as to raise the hope that quietness would subdue it altogether . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} remained with [her]_113-ellen till [she]_113-ellen seemed quite calm , and would not have left [her]_113-ellen then , but [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had promised [Caroline]_120-caroline to drive with [her]_113-ellen into T — — that afternoon , to make some purchases ; [Emmeline]_78-emmeline and [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} were spending the day at [Greville Manor]_{30-greville manor} , and [[her]_78-emmeline daughter]_{309-her daughter} depending on [her]_113-ellen , [she]_78-emmeline did not like to disappoint [her]_113-ellen . But the difficulty to think of other things , and cheerfully converse on comparatively indifferent topics , was greater than [she]_113-ellen had ever found it . That [Ellis]_135-ellis 's surmise was correct , [she]_113-ellen had no longer the smallest doubt . [Ellen]_113-ellen was sacrificing [herself]_113-ellen , not merely for the love [she]_113-ellen bore [[her]_113-ellen brother]_{384-her brother} , but from some real or imaginary promise to [[her]_113-ellen poor mother]_{1444-her poor mother} . What its exact nature was , [she]_113-ellen could not indeed satisfy [herself]_113-ellen , but that it had something to do with concealing [Edward]_194-edward 's faults seemed to flash upon [her]_113-ellen , [she]_113-ellen hardly knew how . [Ellis]_135-ellis 's words " that [she]_113-ellen had seen enough of that work when [they]_6032-they were [children]_{3553-children} , "_[135-ellis] returned to [her]_113-ellen , and various incongruities in [Ellen]_113-ellen 's character and conduct which [she]_113-ellen had been unable to reconcile at the time , all seemed connected with it . But to arrive at the truth was much more difficult than ever ; still , how could [she]_113-ellen send [Ellen]_113-ellen away ? and yet , if still silent , would mere surmise satisfy [[her]_113-ellen husband]_{340-her husband} ? There was but one hope , one ray of light — [Edward]_194-edward 's own honor , if indeed [he]_194-edward were permitted to return ; and even while driving and talking with [Caroline]_120-caroline , [her]_113-ellen heart was one fervent prayer that this might be , and the fearful struggle of [her]_113-ellen devoted [Ellen]_113-ellen cease . [[Her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} 's gentle and unexpected kindness had had such a beneficial effect on [Ellen]_113-ellen , that , after [her]_113-ellen early dinner , about three o'clock , [she]_113-ellen told [Ellis]_135-ellis [she]_113-ellen would go in [the school - room]_{544-the school - room} , and try and read [there]_320-there for an hour ; [she]_113-ellen knew all [the family]_{3915-the family} were out , and therefore would be quite undisturbed . [Ellis]_135-ellis willingly acquiesced , rejoicing that [she]_113-ellen should seek any change [herself]_113-ellen , and advised [her]_113-ellen , as it was such a mild , soft afternoon , after the late storms , to take a turn on [the terrace]_{2675-the terrace} , on which a glass - door from [the school - room]_{544-the school - room} opened ; it would do [her]_113-ellen good . [Ellen]_113-ellen meant to take [her]_135-ellis advice , but as [she]_113-ellen looked out from a window over a well - remembered landscape , so many painful thoughts and recollections crowded on [her]_113-ellen , that [she]_113-ellen lost all inclination to move . [She]_113-ellen had not stood [there]_320-there for many weeks , and it seemed to [her]_113-ellen that the view had never looked so very lovely . The trees all had the last glories of autumn — for it was early in November — the grass was of that beautiful humid emerald which always follows heavy rain , and though the summer - flowers had all gone , the sheltered beds of [the garden]_{3457-the garden} , lying beneath [the terrace]_{2675-the terrace} , presented many very beautiful still . The end of [the terrace]_{2675-the terrace} , a flight of stone steps , overlooked [the avenue]_{998-the avenue} , leading from [the principal lodge]_{2682-the principal lodge} to [the main entrance]_{2683-the main entrance} , and where [Ellen]_113-ellen stood , [she]_113-ellen could distinguish a few yards of the path where [it]_2684-it issued from some distant trees . [She]_113-ellen gazed at first , conscious only that [she]_113-ellen was banished from it all , and that , however long [her]_113-ellen departure might be deferred , [she]_113-ellen must go at last , for [[her]_113-ellen uncle]_{519-her uncle} 's mandate could not be disobeyed ; but gradually [her]_113-ellen eye became fixed as in fascination . [A single figure]_{2686-a single figure} was emerging from the trees , and dressed in the uniform of [a midshipman]_{4692-a midshipman} — [she]_113-ellen was sure it was ! but it was a figure so tall , so slim , [his]_{2686-a single figure} step so lingering , it could not be [Edward]_194-edward , most likely [some one of [[his]_{2686-a single figure} messmates]_{2689-his messmates} come to tell [his]_194-edward fate]_{2688-some one of his messmates come to tell his fate} . [He]_{2686-a single figure} was taller even than [Percy]_99-percy , but so much slighter , so different to [the boy from whom [she]_113-ellen had parted]_{2690-the boy from whom she had parted} , that , though [her]_113-ellen heart bounded and sunk till faintness seemed to overpower [her]_113-ellen , [she]_113-ellen could not convince [herself]_113-ellen it was [he]_{2686-a single figure} . With an almost unconscious effort [she]_113-ellen ran out , through the glass - door , to [the steps of [the terrace]_{2675-the terrace}]_{2691-the steps of the terrace} ; [she]_113-ellen could now see [him]_{2686-a single figure} distinctly , but not [his]_{2686-a single figure} face , for [his]_{2686-a single figure} cap was low over [his]_{2686-a single figure} forehead ; but as [he]_{2686-a single figure} approached , [he]_{2686-a single figure} paused , as if doubting whether to go up to the hall door , or [the well - known terrace , by which [he]_{2686-a single figure} had always rushed into [the school - room]_{544-the school - room}]_{2693-the well - known terrace , by which he had always rushed into the school - room} , on [his]_{2686-a single figure} daily return from [[Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} 's]_{920-mr. howard 's} ; and as [he]_{2686-a single figure} looked hastily up , [his]_{2686-a single figure} cap fell back , and [his]_{2686-a single figure} eyes met [Ellen]_113-ellen 's . A wild but checked scream broke from [her]_113-ellen lips , and all was an impenetrable mist till [she]_113-ellen found [herself]_113-ellen in [[her]_113-ellen brother]_{384-her brother} 's arms , in [the room [she]_113-ellen had quitted]_{2697-the room she had quitted} , [his]_{2686-a single figure} lips repeatedly pressing [her]_113-ellen cheek and forehead , and [his]_{2686-a single figure} voice , which sounded so strange — it did not seem like [Edward]_194-edward 's , it was so much more deep and manly — entreating [her]_113-ellen to speak to [him]_{2686-a single figure} , and tell [him]_{2686-a single figure} why [she]_113-ellen looked so ill ; but still [her]_113-ellen heart so throbbed [she]_113-ellen could not speak . [She]_113-ellen could only cling close to [him]_{2686-a single figure} and look intently in [his]_{2686-a single figure} face , which was so altered from [the happy , laughing boy]_{2698-the happy , laughing boy} , that had [he]_{2686-a single figure} not been , from [his]_{2686-a single figure} extreme paleness and attenuation of feature , still more like [[their]_2699-their mother]_{488-their mother} when [she]_{488-their mother} was ill , [[his]_{2686-a single figure} sister]_{561-his sister} would scarcely have known [him]_{2686-a single figure} . " [Dearest Ellen]_113-ellen , do speak to [me]_{2686-a single figure} ; what has been the matter , that [you]_113-ellen look so pale and sad ? Are [you]_{2686-a single figure} not glad to see [me]_{2686-a single figure} ? "_{[2686-a single figure]} " Glad ! oh , [Edward]_194-edward , [you]_194-edward can not know how glad ; [I]_{2686-a single figure} thought [you]_194-edward would never , never come , the storms have been so terrible ; [I]_{2686-a single figure} have been ill , and [your]_194-edward sudden appearance startled [me]_{2686-a single figure} , for [I]_{2686-a single figure} had thought of such dreadful things , and that was the reason [I]_{2686-a single figure} could not speak at first ; but [I]_{2686-a single figure} am sure [you]_194-edward are as pale as [I]_{2686-a single figure} am , [dear]_3435-dear , dear [Edward]_194-edward ; [you]_194-edward have been wounded — have [you]_194-edward not recovered them yet ? "_{[2686-a single figure]} " [My]_{2686-a single figure} wounds , [Ellen]_113-ellen ! oh , they were slight enough ; [I]_{2686-a single figure} wished and tried for them to be severer , to have done for [me]_{2686-a single figure} at once , but [they]_6035-they would not , [they]_6035-they only bought [me]_{2686-a single figure} praise , praise which maddened [me]_{2686-a single figure} ! "_{[2686-a single figure]} " [Sir Edward]_76-edward , "_[113-ellen] murmured [Ellen]_113-ellen , in a low , fearful voice , " how did [he]_76-edward part with [you]_194-edward ? "_[113-ellen] " As [he]_76-edward has always treated [me]_{2686-a single figure} , [a kind , too kind father]_{6036-a kind , too kind father} ! oh , [Ellen]_113-ellen , [Ellen]_113-ellen , if [he]_76-edward did but know [the deceiving villain]_{6037-the deceiving villain} that [I]_{2686-a single figure} am ! "_{[2686-a single figure]} " Would [he]_76-edward indeed not forgive , [Edward]_76-edward , if [he]_76-edward so loves [you]_76-edward ? not if [he]_76-edward knew all , the temptation , the — "_{[2686-a single figure]} " Temptation , [Ellen]_113-ellen ! what excuse ought there to be in temptation ? Why was [I]_{2686-a single figure} such [a fool]_{1366-a fool} , such [a madman]_{6039-a madman} , to allow [myself]_{2686-a single figure} to be lured into error again and again by [that villain]_{1976-that villain} , after [I]_{2686-a single figure} had discovered [his]_{1976-that villain} double face , and [I]_{2686-a single figure} had been warned against [him]_{1976-that villain} , too ? Why did [I]_{2686-a single figure} so madly disregard [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} 's and [[my]_{2686-a single figure} uncle]_{1463-my uncle} 's warning letters , trusting [my]_{2686-a single figure} self - will and folly , instead of [their]_6042-their experience ? Brave ! [I]_{2686-a single figure} am [the veriest coward that ever trod the deck]_{6043-the veriest coward that ever trod the deck} , because [I]_{2686-a single figure} could not bear a sneer ! "_{[2686-a single figure]} " And [he]_{1976-that villain} ? are [you]_{384-her brother} still within [his]_{1976-that villain} power ? "_[113-ellen] inquired [Ellen]_113-ellen , shrinking in terror from the expression of [[her]_113-ellen brother]_{384-her brother} 's face . " No , [Ellen]_113-ellen , no ; [God]_85-god forgive [me]_2703-i — [I]_2703-i have tried not to rejoice ; the death was so terrible , so nearly [my]_2703-i own , that [I]_2703-i stood appalled , and , for the first time these two years , knelt down to [[my]_2703-i God]_{3522-my god} for pardon , mercy to repent . The lightning struck [him]_{1976-that villain} where [he]_{1976-that villain} stood , struck [him]_{1976-that villain} beside [me]_2703-i , leaving the withering smile of derisive mockery , with which [he]_{1976-that villain} had that moment been regarding [me]_2703-i , still on [his]_{1976-that villain} lips . Why , and where had [he]_{1976-that villain} gone ? [he]_{1976-that villain} , who denied [God]_85-god and [his]_{1976-that villain} holy Word , turned the solemn service into mockery , and made [me]_2703-i like [himself]_2703-i — and why was [I]_2703-i spared ? Oh , [Ellen]_113-ellen , [I]_2703-i have no words to describe the sensation of that moment ! "_[2703-i] [He]_2703-i stopped , and shuddered , then continued , hurriedly , " Changed as [I]_2703-i am in appearance , it is nothing to the change within . [I]_2703-i did not know its extent till now that [I]_2703-i am here again , and all [my]_2703-i happy boyhood comes before [me]_2703-i ; aunt [Emmeline]_78-emmeline 's gentle lessons of piety and goodness — oh , [Ellen]_113-ellen , [Ellen]_113-ellen , what have been [their]_6045-their fruits ? For two years [I]_2703-i have given [myself]_2703-i up to passion , unrestrained by one word , one thought of prayer ; [I]_2703-i dared , sinful madman as [I]_2703-i was , to make a compact with [my]_2703-i own conscience , and vow , that if [I]_2703-i received the relief [I]_2703-i expected from [you]_113-ellen , and was free from [Harding]_197-harding , [I]_2703-i would reform , would pray for the strength to resist temptation , which [I]_2703-i had not in [myself]_2703-i ; and when , when [the man that was dispatched by [Sir Edward]_76-edward from [the shore]_{6047-the shore} , with the letters for [the crew]_{5419-the crew} , sunk beneath the waves , bearing every dispatch along with [him]_{6046-the man that was dispatched by sir edward from the shore , with the letters for the crew , sunk beneath the waves , bearing every dispatch along with him}]_{6046-the man that was dispatched by sir edward from the shore , with the letters for the crew , sunk beneath the waves , bearing every dispatch along with him} , [I]_2703-i cursed [him]_{6046-the man that was dispatched by sir edward from the shore , with the letters for the crew , sunk beneath the waves , bearing every dispatch along with him} , and the Fate , which had ordained [his]_{6046-the man that was dispatched by sir edward from the shore , with the letters for the crew , sunk beneath the waves , bearing every dispatch along with him} death . [Ellen]_113-ellen , [Ellen]_113-ellen ! why was [I]_2703-i saved , and [Harding]_197-harding killed ! "_[2703-i] " And [you]_76-edward never received [my]_113-ellen letter , [Edward]_76-edward ? Never knew if [I]_113-ellen had tried to relieve [you]_76-edward from [Harding]_197-harding 's power ? "_[113-ellen] answered [Ellen]_113-ellen , becoming so deadly pale , that [Edward]_76-edward forced [himself]_76-edward to regain composure ; the nature of [his]_76-edward information causing such a revulsion of feeling in [[his]_76-edward sister]_{561-his sister} as to deaden [her]_{561-his sister} to the horror of [his]_76-edward words . For what had all this suffering been ? " [I]_2705-i was sure [you]_113-ellen had , [Ellen]_113-ellen , for [you]_113-ellen always did , and [I]_2705-i could trust [you]_113-ellen as [I]_2705-i could [myself]_2705-i . A sudden squall had upset [the boat]_{6049-the boat} , and [the man]_{3799-the man} was so encumbered by a large great - coat , every pocket filled with letters and papers , that [he]_{3799-the man} sunk at once though every help was offered . [I]_2705-i threw [myself]_2705-i into [the sea]_{1714-the sea} to save [him]_{3799-the man} , and [Lieutenant Morley]_{214-lieutenant morley} praised [my]_2705-i courage and benevolence — little did [he]_{3799-the man} know [my]_2705-i motive ! Besides , [Sir Edward]_76-edward told [me]_2705-i there was an inclosure for [me]_2705-i in [[my]_2705-i uncle]_{1463-my uncle} 's to [him]_{1463-my uncle} , and regretted [he]_76-edward had not kept it to give it [me]_2705-i [himself]_76-edward — would to Heaven [he]_76-edward had ! Till [Harding]_197-harding 's death [I]_2705-i was in [his]_76-edward power ; and [he]_76-edward had so used it , that [I]_2705-i had vowed , on [our]_6053-our arrival in [England]_10-england , to abscond , hide [myself]_2705-i forever , go [I]_2705-i cared not where , nor in what character ! But [he]_76-edward is dead , and [I]_2705-i am free : [my]_2705-i tale need be told to none , and if [I]_2705-i can [I]_2705-i will break from this fatal spell , and redeem the past ; but it seems , as if [fiends]_6054-fiends urged [me]_2705-i still to the path of evil ! Would that [I]_2705-i had but courage to tell all to [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} , [I]_2705-i should be safer then ; but [I]_2705-i can not — can not — the risk is too great . Carriage wheels ! "_[2705-i] [he]_2705-i added , starting [up—"my aunt]_{6055-up—"my aunt} and [Caroline]_120-caroline ; oh , how [I]_2705-i rejoiced when [they]_6056-they told [me]_2705-i at [the lodge]_{6057-the lodge} that [[my]_2705-i uncle]_{1463-my uncle} was not [here]_3850-here ! "_[2705-i] And in [his]_2705-i extreme agitation at the thought of meeting [[his]_2705-i aunt]_{365-his aunt} , [he]_2705-i forgot [[his]_2705-i sister]_{561-his sister} , or [he]_2705-i might have been startled at the effect of [his]_2705-i words . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had been told at [the lodge]_{6057-the lodge} of [[her]_2709-her nephew]_{696-her nephew} 's arrival , and so powerful was [her]_2709-her emotion , that [she]_2709-her leaned back in [the carriage]_{3444-the carriage} , as [it]_{3444-the carriage} drove rapidly from [the lodge]_{6057-the lodge} to [the Hall]_{836-the hall} , without the power of uttering a word . [Caroline]_120-caroline was surprised , for [his]_2705-i return seemed to [her]_120-caroline only a cause of rejoicing ; [she]_120-caroline had no idea of the mingled dread and joy , the trembling , lest [Edward]_76-edward had indeed deceived [them]_2714-them all , and , if [he]_76-edward had not , the redoubled mystery of [Ellen]_113-ellen 's conduct . While [he]_2705-i was absent [she]_120-caroline could think calmly on [him]_2705-i as the cause of all , but now that [he]_2705-i was returned , [her]_120-caroline heart seemed to turn sick with apprehension , and [she]_120-caroline had hardly strength to inquire where [he]_2705-i was , and great was [her]_120-caroline surprise when [she]_120-caroline found [his]_2705-i arrival was still unknown . [Caroline]_120-caroline 's joyful exclamation as [she]_120-caroline ran into [the school - room]_{544-the school - room} to put away some of [her]_120-caroline purchases , drew [her]_120-caroline there at once ; and for the first five minutes the intense thankfulness that [he]_2705-i was indeed safe and comparatively well — that whatever might be the secret change , [his]_2705-i affection for [her]_120-caroline , to judge by the warmth , and agitation of [his]_2705-i embrace , was unchanged , and [she]_120-caroline had that to work on , alone occupied [her]_120-caroline mind and enabled [her]_120-caroline to regain [her]_120-caroline calmness . " [You]_76-edward do indeed look as if [you]_76-edward wanted English air and [home]_563-home nursing , [[my]_120-caroline dear boy]_{1168-my dear boy} , "_{[120-caroline]} [she]_120-caroline said , after some little time had elapsed , and [Edward]_76-edward had seated [himself]_76-edward by [her]_120-caroline , [his]_76-edward hand still clasped in [hers]_120-caroline ; " [Sir [Edward]_76-edward]_{6062-sir edward} was quite right to invalid [you]_76-edward . [Emmeline]_78-emmeline does nothing but talk of [your]_76-edward wounds as making [you]_76-edward [a complete hero]_{6063-a complete hero} ; [I]_120-caroline am unromantic enough to wish that [you]_76-edward had brought [me]_120-caroline [home]_563-home more color and more flesh , and less glory ; but , [I]_120-caroline suppose from being so pale , [you]_76-edward are more like [[your]_76-edward poor mother]_{6065-your poor mother} than ever ; "_{[120-caroline]} and [she]_120-caroline looked at [him]_76-edward so earnestly , that [Edward]_76-edward 's eyes , spite of all [his]_76-edward efforts , sunk beneath [hers]_120-caroline . [He]_76-edward answered gayly , however , and , in reply to [Caroline]_120-caroline 's numerous queries , entered into an animated description of [their]_2716-their voyage [home]_563-home and the causes of [their]_2716-their detention , in [their]_2716-their being so often compelled to put into port from the fearful storms [they]_2716-their had encountered , and time slipped away so fast that the dinner - bell rung before [any one]_{393-any one} was prepared . That [Ellen]_113-ellen should look paler than even when [she]_113-ellen had left [her]_113-ellen in the morning , and be still more silent , did not astonish [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} ; the agitation of meeting [[her]_120-caroline brother]_{384-her brother} was quite enough to occasion it ; and [she]_120-caroline advised [her]_113-ellen to remain quiet while [they]_2716-their were at dinner , that [she]_113-ellen might rejoin [them]_2716-their afterward . [She]_120-caroline looked as if [she]_120-caroline had been so very lately ill , that [Edward]_76-edward was not surprised at [her]_120-caroline having dined already ; but many little things that occured during the evening — [her]_120-caroline excessive quietness , the evident restraint between [her]_120-caroline and [Caroline]_120-caroline , and , [he]_76-edward at first fancied , and then was quite certain , between [her]_120-caroline and [[his]_76-edward aunt]_{365-his aunt} , startled and perplexed [him]_76-edward . [She]_120-caroline seemed restrained and shy , too , with [him]_76-edward , as if in constant terror . [Poor child]_{3677-poor child} ! [[her]_120-caroline aunt]_{367-her aunt} had advised quietness while alone , and [[her]_120-caroline brother]_{384-her brother} 's words rung in [her]_120-caroline ears , till repose seemed farther off than ever . After all [she]_120-caroline had suffered before , and after the sending that fatal letter , it had never reached [him]_76-edward : [she]_120-caroline had utterly failed in [her]_120-caroline attempt to save [him]_76-edward . If [she]_120-caroline had , indeed , confided at first in [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , measures would have been taken , [she]_120-caroline was sure , to have secured [him]_76-edward the necessary relief , for whenever [[her]_120-caroline uncle]_{519-her uncle} had sent [him]_76-edward [his]_76-edward allowance it was through [Sir Edward]_76-edward , not encountering the risk of the loss of the letter . There had been times when , in the midst of [her]_120-caroline sufferings , [Ellen]_113-ellen could realize a sort of comfort in the idea that [she]_120-caroline had saved [Edward]_76-edward and kept [his]_76-edward secret ; but where was this comfort now ? All [she]_120-caroline had endured all [she]_120-caroline was still to endure , was for nothing , worse than nothing ; for if [Edward]_76-edward knew [her]_120-caroline sin , feeling that it had brought [him]_76-edward no good , and given up , as [she]_120-caroline felt [he]_76-edward must be , to unrestrained passion , or [he]_76-edward could not have given vent to such fearful sentiments , [she]_120-caroline actually trembled for its effect upon [him]_76-edward and [his]_76-edward anger on [herself]_120-caroline . [She]_120-caroline had sometimes fancied that , perhaps , [his]_76-edward errors were not so great as [he]_76-edward believed them , that [he]_76-edward would confess them when [he]_76-edward found only [[his]_76-edward kind , indulgent aunt]_{2725-his kind , indulgent aunt} at [home]_563-home , and so peace and hope gradually dawn for both [him]_76-edward and [her]_{2725-his kind , indulgent aunt} . All [her]_120-caroline wish , [her]_120-caroline hope now was that [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} could be prevailed upon not to tell [him]_76-edward what [she]_120-caroline had done , for whether it made [him]_76-edward think [he]_76-edward ought to confess [himself]_76-edward its cause or not , its effect on [him]_76-edward would be so terrible , that [she]_120-caroline felt any additional suffering to [herself]_120-caroline could be better borne . With these thoughts , no wonder [she]_120-caroline was silent , utterly unable to subdue [them]_2727-them as [she]_120-caroline wished , and evince natural interest in all that had occurred to [Edward]_76-edward ; and tell [him]_76-edward all that had happened to [herself]_120-caroline during [their]_2728-their long separation . [Caroline]_120-caroline , however , was so animated ; and when [Emmeline]_78-emmeline and [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} returned , unable to comprehend what [they]_2728-their could possibly be sent for , a full hour earlier than usual , the astonishment and delight at seeing [Edward]_76-edward , prevented any thing like a pause in conversation , or unnatural restraint . [[His]_76-edward cousins]_{4672-his cousins} found so much to tell as well as to listen to , about [Percy]_99-percy and [Herbert]_197-harding , as well as [themselves]_{4672-his cousins} ; and [Emmeline]_78-emmeline made [Edward]_76-edward tell [her]_120-caroline such minute particulars of [their]_2728-their engagements with [the pirates]_{2730-the pirates} , and how [he]_76-edward was wounded , and what [Sir Edward]_76-edward said to [him]_76-edward , that [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , anxious as [she]_120-caroline was — for the longer [she]_120-caroline was with [[her]_120-caroline nephew]_{696-her nephew} , the more convinced [she]_120-caroline was that [he]_76-edward could not meet [her]_120-caroline eye , and that [his]_76-edward gayety was not natural — could not help being amused in spite of [herself]_120-caroline . Engrossed with thought how to arrive at the truth , for which [she]_120-caroline ardently longed , [she]_120-caroline entered [the library]_{3958-the library} , when the prayer - bell rung , with [[her]_120-caroline children]_{322-her children} ; quite forgetting , till [she]_120-caroline had taken the place at the reading - desk , which , in the absence of [[her]_120-caroline husband]_{340-her husband} and [sons]_2735-sons , [she]_120-caroline always occupied [herself]_120-caroline , that [she]_120-caroline had intended to desire [Ellen]_113-ellen to resume [her]_113-ellen usual place by [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , wishing to spare [her]_120-caroline any additional suffering the first night of [Edward]_76-edward 's return , and to prevent any painful feeling on [his]_76-edward part . It was an oversight , but it vexed [her]_120-caroline exceedingly . [She]_120-caroline looked hastily round , in the hope of being in time , but [Ellen]_113-ellen was already in [her]_113-ellen place , though [she]_113-ellen had evidently shrunk still more into the recess of the lower window , as if longing for [its]_2736-its massive curtains to hide [her]_113-ellen , and [her]_113-ellen face was buried in [her]_113-ellen hands . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} would have been still more grieved , if [she]_120-caroline had seen , as [Ellis]_135-ellis did , the beseeching , humble look , which , as [they]_2737-they entered , [Ellen]_113-ellen had fixed upon [her]_120-caroline , and that [her]_113-ellen pale lips had quivered with the half - uttered supplication , which [she]_113-ellen failed in courage to fully pronounce . [Edward]_76-edward appeared too wrapped in [his]_76-edward own thoughts to notice it then ; and as [[his]_76-edward aunt]_{365-his aunt} 's gentle but impressive voice fell on [his]_76-edward fear , the words , [the room]_{356-the room} , the whole scene so recalled the happy , and comparatively innocent past , that it was with difficulty [he]_76-edward could restrain [his]_76-edward feelings , till the attitude of kneeling permitted them full vent in tears , actual tears , when [he]_76-edward had thought [he]_76-edward could never weep again . The contrast of [his]_76-edward past and present self , rendered [the one more brightly]_{2740-the one more brightly} happy , the other more intensely dark than the actual reality . The unchecked faults and passions of [his]_76-edward early childhood had been the sole cause of [his]_76-edward present errors ; but , while under the gentle control of [[his]_76-edward aunt]_{365-his aunt} and [uncle]_3425-uncle , and [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} , [he]_76-edward had not known these faults , and , therefore , believed they had all come since . [He]_76-edward longed intensely to confide all [his]_76-edward errors , all [his]_76-edward remorse , to [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} , whom [he]_76-edward still so dearly loved ; but [he]_76-edward knew [he]_76-edward had not courage to confess , and yet hated [himself]_76-edward for [his]_76-edward cowardice . Only too well accustomed to control , [he]_76-edward banished every trace of tears ( from all save the eye rendered even more than usually penetrating from anxiety ) , as [he]_76-edward arose , and became aware , for the first time , that [Ellen]_113-ellen was not where [he]_76-edward was accustomed to see [her]_113-ellen . [He]_76-edward kissed [her]_113-ellen fondly as [she]_113-ellen hurriedly approached [him]_76-edward ; but perceiving [she]_113-ellen left [the room]_{356-the room} with merely a faint good - night to [the rest of [the family]_{3915-the family}]_{2744-the rest of the family} , and no embrace , as usual , from [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , [he]_76-edward darted forward , seized [[his]_76-edward aunt]_{365-his aunt} 's hand , and exclaimed — " What is the matter with [Ellen]_113-ellen , [aunt Emmeline]_78-emmeline ? Why is [she]_113-ellen so changed , and why is [your]_78-emmeline manner to [her]_113-ellen so cold and distant ? and why did [she]_113-ellen kneel apart , as if unworthy to join [us]_6066-we even in prayers ? Tell [me]_76-edward , for pity 's sake ! "_[76-edward] " Not to - night , [[my]_76-edward dear]_{3485-my dear} [Edward]_76-edward . It is a long tale , and a painful one , and [I]_76-edward rely on [you]_76-edward to help [me]_76-edward , that [Ellen]_113-ellen and [myself]_76-edward may be again as [we]_6066-we have been . It is as much pain to [me]_76-edward as to [her]_113-ellen that [we]_6066-we are not . To - morrow , [I]_76-edward promise [you]_76-edward , [you]_76-edward shall know all . [You]_76-edward have had excitement enough for to - day , and after [your]_76-edward exhausting voyage must need rest . Do not fancy this an evasion of [your]_76-edward request ; [I]_76-edward have longed for [your]_76-edward return to influence [Ellen]_113-ellen , almost as much as for the happiness of seeing [you]_76-edward again . "_[76-edward] [Edward]_76-edward was compelled to be satisfied and retire ; but though [he]_76-edward did feel sufficient physical exhaustion , for the comfort of [[his]_76-edward room]_{5288-his room} to be unusually luxurious , [his]_76-edward sleep was restless and disturbed by frightful dreams , in which , however varied the position , it always seemed that [he]_76-edward was in danger , and [Ellen]_113-ellen sacrificing [herself]_113-ellen to save [him]_76-edward . On retiring for the night , [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} discovered a note on [her]_113-ellen dressing - table . [She]_113-ellen thought [she]_113-ellen knew the writing , but from tremulousness it was so nearly illegible , that it was with great difficulty [she]_113-ellen deciphered the following words : " [I]_113-ellen am so conscious [I]_113-ellen ought not to address [you]_76-edward , know so well that [I]_113-ellen have no right to ask any favor from [you]_76-edward , when [I]_113-ellen have given [you]_76-edward so much trouble and pain , that [I]_113-ellen could not have asked it , if [you]_76-edward had not been so very , very kind this morning . Oh ! [aunt Emmeline]_78-emmeline , if indeed [you]_78-emmeline can feel any pity for [me]_113-ellen , do not , pray , do not tell [Edward]_76-edward the real reason of [my]_113-ellen banishment from [Oakwood]_12-oakwood ; tell [him]_76-edward [I]_113-ellen have been very wicked — have refused to evince any real repentance — but do not tell [him]_76-edward what [I]_113-ellen have done . [He]_76-edward is ill , unhappy at having to resign [his]_76-edward profession even for a few months . Oh ! spare [him]_76-edward the misery of knowing [my]_113-ellen sin . [I]_113-ellen know [I]_113-ellen deserve nothing but severity from [you]_76-edward — [I]_113-ellen have no right to ask this — but , oh ! if [you]_76-edward have ever loved [me]_113-ellen , do not refuse it . If [you]_76-edward would but grant it , would but say , before [I]_113-ellen go , that in time [you]_76-edward will forgive [me]_113-ellen , it would be such comfort to [the miserable]_{6068-the miserable} — [Ellen]_113-ellen . "_[113-ellen] [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's eyes filled with tears ; the word " [your]_76-edward "_[113-ellen] had evidently been written originally , but partially erased , and " the "_{[81-mrs. hamilton]} substituted in its stead , and [she]_2748-her could not read the utter desolation of [one so young]_{2404-one so young} , which that simple incident betrayed , without increase of pain ; yet to grant [her]_2748-her request was impossible . It puzzled [her]_2748-her — for why should [she]_2748-her so persist in the wish expressed from the beginning , that [Edward]_76-edward should not know it ? unless , indeed — and [her]_2748-her heart bounded with the hope — that [she]_2748-her feared it would urge [him]_76-edward to confess [himself]_76-edward the cause , and [her]_2748-her sacrifice be useless . [She]_2748-her locked up the note , which [she]_2748-her would not read again , fearing its deep humility , its earnest supplication , would turn [her]_2748-her from [her]_2748-her purpose , and in praying fervently for guidance and fitful sleep [her]_2748-her night passed . For some time after breakfast the following morning , [Edward]_76-edward and [[his]_76-edward aunt]_{365-his aunt} were alone together in [the library]_{3958-the library} . It was with the utmost difficulty , [he]_76-edward suppressed , sufficiently to conceal , the fearful agitation which thrilled through every nerve as [he]_76-edward listened to the tale [he]_76-edward had demanded . [He]_76-edward could not doubt the use to which that money had been applied . [[His]_76-edward sister]_{561-his sister} 's silence alone would have confirmed it ; but in that hour of madness — for what else is passion unrestrained by principle or feeling?—he was only conscious of anger , fierce anger against [the unhappy girl who had borne so much for [him]_76-edward]_{2753-the unhappy girl who had borne so much for him} . [He]_76-edward had utterly forgotten the desperate words [he]_76-edward had written . [He]_76-edward had never received the intended relief . Till within a week , a short week of [his]_76-edward return , [he]_76-edward had been in [Harding]_197-harding 's power , and as [Ellen]_113-ellen 's devotion had saved [him]_76-edward nothing , what could it weigh against the maddening conviction , that if [he]_76-edward had one spark of honor remaining , [he]_76-edward must confess that [he]_76-edward had caused [her]_113-ellen sin ? Instead of saving , [she]_113-ellen had betrayed [him]_76-edward ; and [he]_76-edward left [[his]_76-edward aunt]_{365-his aunt} to seek [Ellen]_113-ellen , so evidently disturbed and heated , and the interview itself had been so little satisfactory in softening [him]_76-edward , as , [she]_113-ellen had hoped to win [him]_76-edward to confession at once , for [she]_113-ellen had purposely spoken as indulgently of error and difficulty as [she]_113-ellen could , without betraying [her]_113-ellen strengthened suspicions , that if [she]_113-ellen had known how to do so , [she]_113-ellen would have forbidden [his]_76-edward seeing [Ellen]_113-ellen till [he]_76-edward was more calm . Unhappily , too , it was that part of the day when [Ellis]_135-ellis was always most engaged , and [she]_113-ellen was not even in [[her]_113-ellen own room]_{4399-her own room} , so that there was no check on [Edward]_76-edward 's violence . The control [he]_76-edward had exercised while with [[his]_76-edward aunt]_{365-his aunt} but increased passion when it was removed . [He]_76-edward poured forth the bitterest reproaches — asked how [she]_113-ellen could dare hope relief so obtained , would ever have been allowed to reach [him?—what]_{2757-him?—what} had [she]_113-ellen done but betrayed [him]_76-edward ? for how could [he]_76-edward be such [a dishonored coward]_{2758-a dishonored coward} as to let [her]_113-ellen leave [Oakwood]_12-oakwood because [she]_113-ellen would not speak ? and why had [she]_113-ellen not spoken?—why not betrayed [him]_76-edward at once , and not decoyed [him]_76-edward [home]_563-home to disgrace and misery ? Passion had so maddened [him]_76-edward that [he]_76-edward neither knew what [he]_76-edward said [himself]_76-edward , nor heard [her]_113-ellen imploring entreaties not to betray [himself]_76-edward and [she]_113-ellen never would . [She]_113-ellen clung to [his]_76-edward knees as [she]_113-ellen kneeled before [him]_76-edward , for [she]_113-ellen was too powerless to stand , reiterating [her]_113-ellen supplication in a tone that ought to have recalled [him]_76-edward to [his]_76-edward better self , but [that better self]_{2760-that better self} had been too long silenced , and infuriated at [her]_113-ellen convulsive efforts to detain [him]_76-edward , [he]_76-edward struck [her]_113-ellen with sufficient force to make [her]_113-ellen , more by the agony of a blow from [him]_76-edward , than the pain itself , loose [her]_113-ellen hold at once , and darted from [the room]_{356-the room} . [The hall]_{836-the hall} door was open , and [he]_76-edward rushed through [it]_2763-it unseen into [the park]_{4069-the park} , flying [he]_76-edward neither knew where nor cared , but plunging into the wildest parts . How [he]_76-edward arrived at [one particular spot]_{2765-one particular spot} [he]_76-edward knew not , for it was one which of all others , in that moment of excitement , [he]_76-edward would gladly have avoided . It was [a small glade in [the midst of the wood]_{2767-the midst of the wood} , shelving down to [the water]_{2768-the water} 's edge]_{2766-a small glade in the midst of the wood , shelving down to the water 's edge} , where [he]_76-edward and [Percy]_99-percy , with the assistance of [Robert]_197-harding , had been permitted to erect [a miniature boat - house]_{2769-a miniature boat - house} , and where [Edward]_76-edward had kept a complete flotilla of [tiny vessels]_{2770-tiny vessels} . There were the trees , [the glade]_{2771-the glade} , [the boat - house]_{2772-the boat - house} still , aye , and the vessels , in such beautiful repair and keeping , that it brought back the past so vividly , so overpoweringly , from the voiceless proof which it was of the affectionate remembrance with which [he]_76-edward and [his]_76-edward favorite tastes had been regarded , even in [his]_76-edward absence , that [he]_76-edward could not bear it . [He]_76-edward flung [himself]_76-edward full length on [the greensward]_{2773-the greensward} , and as thought after thought came back upon [him]_76-edward , bringing [Ellen]_113-ellen before [him]_76-edward , self - sacrificing , devoted , always interposing between [him]_76-edward and anger , as [she]_113-ellen had done from the first hour [they]_2774-they had been inmates of [Oakwood]_12-oakwood , the thought of that craven blow , those mad reproaches , was insupportable ; and [he]_76-edward sobbed for nearly an hour in that one spot , longing that some chance would but bring [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} to [him]_76-edward , that [he]_76-edward might relieve that fearful remorse at once ; but utterly unable to seek [him]_76-edward of [himself]_76-edward . [Edward]_76-edward 's disposition , like [[his]_76-edward mother]_{330-his mother} 's , was naturally much too good for the determined pursuit of evil . [His]_76-edward errors had actually been much less grave , than from [Harding]_197-harding 's artful representations [he]_76-edward imagined them . [He]_76-edward never indulged in passion without its being followed by the most agonized remorse ; but from having pertinaciously banished the religion which [[his]_76-edward aunt]_{365-his aunt} had so tried to instill , and been taught by [Harding]_197-harding to scoff at the only safe guide for youth , as for every age , [God]_85-god 's holy word , [he]_76-edward had nothing whereon to lean , either as a comfort in [his]_76-edward remorse , a hope for amendment , or strength for self - conquest ; and terrible indeed might have been the consequences of [Harding]_197-harding 's fatal influence , if the influence of a home of love had not been still stronger . Two hours after [he]_76-edward had quitted [[his]_76-edward aunt]_{365-his aunt} , [he]_76-edward rejoined [the family]_{3915-the family} , tranquil , but bearing such evident traces of a mental struggle , at least so [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} fancied , for [no one else]_{2779-no one else} noticed it , that [she]_{330-his mother} still hoped [she]_{330-his mother} did not exactly know what , for [she]_{330-his mother} failed in courage to ask the issue of [his]_76-edward interview with [Ellen]_113-ellen . [She]_{330-his mother} contented [herself]_{330-his mother} with desiring [Emmeline]_78-emmeline to tell [[her]_{330-his mother} cousin]_{4159-her cousin} to bring [her]_{330-his mother} work or drawing , and join [them]_2781-them , and [she]_{330-his mother} was so surprised , when [Emmeline]_78-emmeline brought back word that [Ellen]_113-ellen had said [she]_113-ellen had much rather not , that [she]_113-ellen sought [her]_113-ellen [herself]_113-ellen . [Ellen]_113-ellen 's cheeks , in general so pale , were crimson , [her]_113-ellen eyes in consequence unnaturally brilliant , and [she]_113-ellen looked altogether so unlike [herself]_113-ellen , that [[her]_{330-his mother} aunt]_{367-her aunt} was more anxious than ever ; nor did [her]_113-ellen manner when asked why [she]_113-ellen refused to join [them]_2781-them , when [Edward]_76-edward had so lately returned , tend to decrease the feeling . " [Emmeline]_78-emmeline did not say [you]_113-ellen desired it , or [I]_113-ellen should have known better than disobey , "_[113-ellen] was [her]_113-ellen reply , and it was scarcely disrespectful ; the tone seemed that of [a spirit , crushed and goaded to the utmost]_{2783-a spirit , crushed and goaded to the utmost} , and so utterly unable to contend more , though every nerve was quivering with pain . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} felt bitter pain that [Ellen]_113-ellen at length did indeed shrink from [her]_113-ellen ; that the disregard of [her]_113-ellen entreaty concerning [[her]_113-ellen brother]_{384-her brother} appeared so to have wounded , that it had shaken the affection which no other suffering had had power to move . " [I]_113-ellen do not desire it , [Ellen]_113-ellen , though [I]_113-ellen wish it , "_[113-ellen] [she]_113-ellen replied , mildly ; " [you]_113-ellen are of course at liberty to act as [you]_113-ellen please , though [I]_113-ellen should have thought it most natural that , not having been with [Edward]_76-edward so long , [you]_113-ellen should wish to be with [him]_76-edward as much as possible now [he]_76-edward is at [home]_563-home . "_[113-ellen] " [He]_76-edward will not wish it ; [he]_76-edward hates [me]_113-ellen , spurns [me]_113-ellen , as [I]_113-ellen knew [he]_76-edward would , if [he]_76-edward knew [my]_113-ellen sin ! To - day [I]_113-ellen was to have gone to [Seldon Grange]_{66-seldon grange} ; let [me]_113-ellen go at once ! then neither [he]_76-edward , nor [you]_113-ellen , nor [any one]_{393-any one} need be tormented with [me]_113-ellen any more , and [you]_113-ellen will all be happy again ; let [me]_113-ellen go , [aunt Emmeline]_78-emmeline ; what should [I]_113-ellen stay for ? "_[113-ellen] " If [you]_113-ellen wish it , [Ellen]_113-ellen , [you]_113-ellen shall go next week . [I]_113-ellen did not imagine that under any circumstances , [you]_113-ellen could have expressed a desire to leave [me]_113-ellen , or suppose that it would make [me]_113-ellen particularly happy to send [you]_113-ellen away . "_[113-ellen] " Why should it not ? [you]_113-ellen must hate [me]_113-ellen , too , or — or [you]_113-ellen would not have refused the only — only favor [I]_113-ellen asked [you]_113-ellen before [I]_113-ellen went , "_[113-ellen] answered [poor Ellen]_113-ellen , and the voice , which had been unnaturally clear , was choked for the moment with sobs , which [she]_113-ellen resolutely forced back . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} could scarcely bear it ; taking [her]_113-ellen ice - cold hands in both [hers]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , [she]_113-ellen said , almost tenderly — " [You]_113-ellen have reason to condemn [me]_113-ellen as harsh and cruel [Ellen]_113-ellen ; but time will perhaps explain the motives of [my]_113-ellen conduct , as [I]_113-ellen trust and pray it will solve the mystery of [yours]_113-ellen ; [you]_113-ellen are not well enough to be left long alone , and [Ellis]_135-ellis is so much engaged to - day that [I]_113-ellen do wish [you]_113-ellen to be with [me]_113-ellen , independent of [[your]_113-ellen brother]_{3473-your brother} 's society . If [you]_113-ellen so much prefer remaining [here]_3850-here , [I]_113-ellen will stay with [you]_113-ellen , though of course , as [Edward]_76-edward has been away from [us]_6073-us so long , [I]_113-ellen should wish to be with [him]_76-edward also . "_[113-ellen] It was almost the first time [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had ever had recourse in the management of [[her]_2785-she family]_{800-her family} to any thing that was not perfectly straightforward ; and though [her]_2785-she present motives would have hallowed much deeper stratagems , [her]_2785-she pure mind shrunk from [her]_2785-she own words . [She]_2785-she wished [Ellen]_113-ellen to be constantly in [Edward]_76-edward 's presence , that [he]_76-edward might not be able to evade the impulse of feeling and honor , which the sight of such suffering , [she]_2785-she thought , must call forth ; [she]_2785-she could not bear to enforce this wish as a command , when [she]_2785-she had already been , as [she]_2785-she felt — if [Ellen]_113-ellen 's silence were indeed self - devotion , not guilt — so cruelly and so unnecessarily severe . [Ellen]_113-ellen made neither reply nor resistance , but , taking up [her]_113-ellen work , accompanied [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} to [the usual morning - room]_{2788-the usual morning - room} , from which many a burst of happy laughter , and joyous tones were echoing . [Caroline]_120-caroline and [Emmeline]_78-emmeline were so full of enjoyment at [Edward]_76-edward 's return , had so many things to ask and tell , were so perfectly unsuspicious as to [his]_76-edward having any concern with [[his]_76-edward sister]_{561-his sister} 's fault , that if [they]_2790-they did once or twice think [him]_76-edward less lively and joyous , than when [he]_76-edward left [home]_563-home , [they]_2790-they attributed it simply , to [his]_76-edward not having yet recovered the exhausting voyage and [his]_76-edward wounds . [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} , just as unsuspicious , secretly accused [Ellen]_113-ellen as the cause of [his]_76-edward occasional abstraction : [her]_113-ellen conduct was not likely to pass unfelt by one so upright , so honorable , and if [he]_76-edward had been harsh with [her]_113-ellen , as from [Ellen]_113-ellen 's fearfully shrinking manner , and complete silence when [they]_2792-they were together , [she]_113-ellen fancied , [she]_113-ellen thought it was so deserved , that [she]_113-ellen had no pity for [her]_113-ellen whatever . The day passed briskly and happily enough , in seeming to [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} and [Edward]_76-edward , in reality to [all the other members of the party]_{2793-all the other members of the party} — but one . The great subject of regret was [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} 's absence , [he]_{128-mr. howard} might be back at [the rectory]_{4928-the rectory} that evening , and [Emmeline]_78-emmeline was sure [he]_{128-mr. howard} would come to see [Edward]_76-edward directly . As the hours waned , [Ellen]_113-ellen became sensible of a sharp and most unusual pain darting through [her]_113-ellen temples , and gradually extending over [her]_113-ellen forehead and head , till [she]_113-ellen could scarcely move [her]_113-ellen eyes . It had come at first so suddenly , and lasting so short a time , that [she]_113-ellen could scarcely define what it was , or why [she]_113-ellen should have felt so suddenly sick and faint ; but it increased , till there was no difficulty in tracing it , and before prayer - time , had become such fearful agony , that , if [she]_113-ellen had not been inured to pain of all kinds , and endowed with extraordinary fortitude and control , [she]_113-ellen must more than once have betrayed it by either giving way to faintness , or screaming aloud . [She]_113-ellen had overheard [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} desire [Robert]_197-harding to request [Mr. Maitland]_{154-mr. maitland} to come to [Oakwood]_12-oakwood as soon as [he]_{154-mr. maitland} could , and not hearing the reply that [he]_{154-mr. maitland} was not expected [home]_563-home till late at night , expected [him]_{154-mr. maitland} every moment , and thought [he]_{154-mr. maitland} would give [her]_113-ellen something to relieve it , without [her]_113-ellen complaining . [Edward]_76-edward had asked [[his]_76-edward cousins]_{4672-his cousins} for some music , and then to please [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , had sketched the order of [their]_{4672-his cousins} engagement with [the pirates]_{2730-the pirates} , and [no one]_{3540-no one} noticed [her]_113-ellen , for [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's heart was sinking with disappointed hope , as the hours passed , and there was no sign to prove that [her]_113-ellen surmise was correct , and if it were , that the truth would be obtained . The prayer - bell rang , and as [they]_{4672-his cousins} rose , [Edward]_76-edward 's eyes , for the first time since [she]_113-ellen had joined [them]_{4672-his cousins} , sought and fixed themselves on [[his]_76-edward sister]_{561-his sister} 's face . The paroxysm of pain had for a few minutes subsided , as it had done alternately with violence all day , but it had left [her]_113-ellen so ghastly pale , that [he]_76-edward started in actual terror . It might have been fancy , but [he]_76-edward thought there was the trace of [his]_76-edward cowardly blow on [her]_113-ellen pale forehead , raised , and black , and such a feeling of agony and remorse rushed over [him]_76-edward , that it was with difficulty [he]_76-edward restrained [himself]_76-edward from catching [her]_113-ellen in [his]_76-edward arms , and beseeching [her]_113-ellen forgiveness before [them]_{4672-his cousins} all ; but there was no time then , and [they]_{4672-his cousins} proceeded to [the library]_{3958-the library} . Every step [Ellen]_113-ellen took appeared to bring back that fearful pain , till as [she]_113-ellen sat down , and then knelt in [her]_113-ellen place , [she]_113-ellen was sensible of nothing else . The service was over ; and as [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} rose from the private prayer , with which [each individual]_{4862-each individual} concluded [his]_{4862-each individual} devotions , [[her]_113-ellen nephew]_{696-her nephew} stood before [her]_113-ellen , white as marble , but with an expression of fixed resolution , which made [her]_113-ellen heart bound up with hope , at the very moment it turned sick and faint with terror . [Several of [the lower domestics]_{2804-the lower domestics}]_{2803-several of the lower domestics} had quitted [the library]_{3958-the library} before [Edward]_76-edward regained voice , and [his]_76-edward first word , or rather action , was to desire those that remained to stay . " [[My]_76-edward sister]_{1719-my sister} has been disgraced , exposed before [you]_{4672-his cousins} all "_[76-edward] [he]_76-edward exclaimed , in a tone of misery and determination , that so startled [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} and [[his]_76-edward cousins]_{4672-his cousins} , [they]_{4672-his cousins} gazed at [him]_76-edward bewildered , " and before [you]_{4672-his cousins} all must be [her]_{1719-my sister} exculpation . It was less for [her]_{1719-my sister} sin than [her]_{1719-my sister} silence , and for the increased guilt which that appeared to conceal , [you]_{4672-his cousins} tell [me]_76-edward , [she]_{1719-my sister} has been so severely treated . [Aunt Emmeline]_78-emmeline , [I]_76-edward am the cause of [her]_{1719-my sister} silence — [I]_76-edward was the tempter to [her]_{1719-my sister} sin — [I]_76-edward have deceived [[my]_76-edward commander]_{6075-my commander} , deceived [[my]_76-edward officers]_{6076-my officers} , deceived [you]_{4672-his cousins} all — and instead of being what [you]_{4672-his cousins} believe [me]_76-edward , am [a gambler]_{6077-a gambler} and [a villain]_{6078-a villain} . [She]_{1719-my sister} has saved [me]_76-edward again and again from discovery and disgrace , and but for [her]_{1719-my sister} sin and its consequences would have saved [me]_76-edward now . But what has sin ever done but to betray and render wretched ? Take [Ellen]_113-ellen back to [your]_{4672-his cousins} love and care , [aunt Emmeline]_78-emmeline , and tell [[my]_76-edward uncle]_{1463-my uncle} , tell [Sir Edward]_76-edward the wretch [I]_76-edward am ! "_[76-edward] For a full minute after these unexpected , startling words there was silence , for [none]_2189-none could speak , not even [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , whose first thought was only joy , that [Ellen]_113-ellen 's silence was not so guilty as it seemed . [Edward]_76-edward had crossed [his]_76-edward arms on the reading - desk , and buried [his]_76-edward face upon them . The instantaneous change of sentiment which [his]_76-edward confession excited toward [Ellen]_113-ellen in those most prejudiced can scarcely be described ; but [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , now that the words [she]_113-ellen had longed for , prayed for , had been spoken , had scarcely strength to move . [Address Edward]_{215-address edward} [she]_113-ellen could not , though [she]_113-ellen felt far more pity toward [him]_76-edward than anger ; [she]_113-ellen looked toward [Ellen]_113-ellen , who still remained kneeling , though [Ellis]_135-ellis stood close by [her]_113-ellen , evidently trying to rouse [her]_113-ellen , and with a step far more hurried , more agitated than [[her]_113-ellen children]_{322-her children} or [household]_{2809-household} had ever seen , [she]_113-ellen traversed [the long room]_{2810-the long room} , and stood beside [[her]_113-ellen niece]_{372-her niece} . " [Ellen]_113-ellen , "_[113-ellen] [she]_113-ellen said , as [she]_113-ellen tried to remove the hands which clasped the burning forehead , as if [their]_2812-their rooted pressure could alone still that agonizing pain , " [[my]_113-ellen own darling]_{1131-my own darling} , [devoted Ellen]_113-ellen ! look up , and forgive [me]_113-ellen all the misery [I]_113-ellen have caused [you]_113-ellen . Speak to [me]_113-ellen , [[my]_113-ellen child]_{3468-my child} ! there is nothing to conceal now , all shall be forgiven — [Edward]_76-edward 's errors , difficulties , all for [your]_113-ellen sake , and [he]_76-edward will not , [I]_113-ellen know [he]_76-edward will not , cause [you]_113-ellen wretchedness again ; look up , [[my]_113-ellen poor child]_{866-my poor child} ; speak to [me]_113-ellen , tell [me]_113-ellen [you]_113-ellen forgive [me]_113-ellen . "_[113-ellen] [Ellen]_113-ellen unclasped [her]_113-ellen hands from [her]_113-ellen forehead , and looked up in [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's face . [Her]_113-ellen lips moved as if to speak , but in a moment an expression of agony flitted over [her]_113-ellen face , a cry broke from [her]_113-ellen of such fearful physical pain , that it thrilled through the hearts of [all who heard]_{2813-all who heard} , and consciousness deserted [her]_113-ellen at the same moment that [Mr. Maitland]_{154-mr. maitland} and [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} , entered [the room]_{356-the room} together . It was indeed a fearful night which followed the close of [our]_2815-our last chapter . Illness , sufficient to occasion anxiety , both in [Herbert]_197-harding and [Ellen]_113-ellen , had been often [an inmate of [Oakwood]_12-oakwood]_{2816-an inmate of oakwood} , but it had merely called for care , and all those kindly sympathies , which render indisposition sometimes an actual blessing , both to [those who suffer]_{2817-those who suffer} and those who tend . [But illness , appearing to be but the ghastly vehicle of death , clothed in such fearful pain that no control , even of reason and strong will]_{2818-but illness , appearing to be but the ghastly vehicle of death , clothed in such fearful pain that no control , even of reason and strong will} , can check its agonized expression , till at last , reason itself succumbs beneath it , and bears the mind from the tortured frame , this is a trial of no ordinary suffering , even when such illness has been brought about by what may be termed natural causes . But when it follows , nay , springs from mental anguish , when [the sad watchers]_{2819-the sad watchers} feel that it might have been averted , that it is the consequence of mistaken treatment , and it comes to [the young , to whom such sorrow ought to be a thing unknown]_{2820-the young , to whom such sorrow ought to be a thing unknown} , was it marvel that [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , as [she]_113-ellen stood by [Ellen]_113-ellen 's bed , watching the alternations of deathlike insensibility with paroxysms of pain , which nothing could relieve ( for it was only the commencement of brain fever ) , felt as if [she]_113-ellen had indeed never known grief or anxiety before . [She]_113-ellen had looked forward to [Edward]_76-edward 's confession bringing hope and rest to all ; that the aching head and strained nerves of [[her]_113-ellen poor Ellen]_{2821-her poor ellen} , only needed returning love , and the quietness of assured forgiveness for [herself]_113-ellen and [Edward]_76-edward , for health and happiness gradually to return ; and the shock of such sudden and terrible illness , betraying , as it did , an extent of previous mental suffering , which [she]_113-ellen had not conceived as possible in one so young , almost unnerved [her]_113-ellen . But [hers]_2822-her was not a character to give way ; the anguish [she]_2822-her experienced might be read in the almost stern quiet of [her]_2822-her face , in [her]_2822-her gentle but firm resistance to every persuasion to move from [Ellen]_113-ellen 's bed , not only through that dreadful night , but for the week which followed . The idea of death was absolute agony ; none but [[her]_2822-her God]_{5369-her god} knew the struggle , day after day , night after night , which [she]_2822-her endured , to compel [her]_2822-her rebellious spirit to submission to [His]_76-edward will , whatever it might be . [She]_113-ellen knew [earth]_3497-earth 's dearest , most unalloyed happiness could not compare with that of [Heaven]_8-heaven , if indeed it should be [His]_76-edward pleasure to recall [her]_113-ellen ; but the thought would not bring peace . [She]_113-ellen had no reason to reproach [herself]_113-ellen , for [she]_113-ellen had acted only as imperative duty demanded , and it had caused [her]_113-ellen almost as much misery as [Ellen]_113-ellen . But yet the thought would not leave [her]_113-ellen , that [her]_113-ellen harshness and cruelty had caused all the suffering [she]_113-ellen beheld . [She]_113-ellen did not utter those thoughts aloud , [she]_113-ellen did not dare give words to that deep wretchedness , for [she]_113-ellen felt [her]_113-ellen only sustaining strength was in [[her]_113-ellen God]_{5369-her god} . [The only one who would have read [her]_113-ellen heart]_{2826-the only one who would have read her heart} , and given sympathy , strength , comfort , without a word from [her]_113-ellen , [[her]_113-ellen husband]_{340-her husband} , was far away , and [she]_113-ellen dared not sink ; though there were times when heart and frame felt so utterly exhausted , it seemed at if [she]_113-ellen must . [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} 's presence had been an inexpressible relief . " Go to [Edward]_76-edward , [[my]_113-ellen dear friend]_{1876-my dear friend} , "_[113-ellen] [she]_113-ellen had said , as [he]_{340-her husband} lingered beside the bed where [Ellen]_113-ellen had been laid , longing to comfort , but feeling at such a moment it was impossible ; " [he]_76-edward wants [you]_76-edward more than [any one else]_{383-any one else} ; win [him]_76-edward to confide in [you]_76-edward , soothe , comfort [him]_76-edward ; do not let [him]_76-edward be out of [your]_76-edward sight . "_[113-ellen] Not understanding [her]_113-ellen , except that [Edward]_76-edward must be naturally grieved at [[his]_76-edward sister]_{561-his sister} 's illness , [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} sought [him]_76-edward , and found [him]_76-edward still in [the library]_{3958-the library} , almost in the same spot . " This is a sad welcome for [you]_76-edward , [Edward]_76-edward , "_{[128-mr. howard]} [he]_{128-mr. howard} said , kindly laying [his]_{128-mr. howard} hand on [his]_76-edward shoulder , " but do not be too much cut down . [Ellen]_113-ellen is very young , [her]_113-ellen constitution , [Mr. Maitland]_{154-mr. maitland} assures [us]_6085-us is good , and [she]_113-ellen may be spared [us]_6085-us yet . [I]_{128-mr. howard} came over on purpose to see [you]_76-edward , for late as it was when [I]_{128-mr. howard} returned from [Exeter]_25-exeter , and found [you]_76-edward had arrived , [I]_{128-mr. howard} would not defer it till to - morrow . "_{[128-mr. howard]} " [You]_{128-mr. howard} thought [you]_{128-mr. howard} came to see [the pupil [you]_{128-mr. howard} so loved]_{6086-the pupil you so loved} , "_[76-edward] answered [Edward]_76-edward , raising [his]_76-edward head , and startling [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} , both by [his]_76-edward tone and countenance . " [You]_{128-mr. howard} do not know that [I]_76-edward am the cause of [[my]_76-edward poor sister]_{6087-my poor sister} 's suffering , that if [she]_{6087-my poor sister} dies , [I]_76-edward am [[her]_{6087-my poor sister} murderer]_{6088-her murderer} . Oh , [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} , "_[76-edward] [he]_76-edward continued , suddenly throwing [himself]_76-edward in [his]_{128-mr. howard} arms , and bursting into passionate tears , " why did [I]_76-edward ever leave [you]_{128-mr. howard} ? why did [I]_76-edward forgot [your]_{128-mr. howard} counsels , [your]_{128-mr. howard} goodness , throw [your]_{128-mr. howard} warning letter to the winds ? Hate [me]_76-edward if [you]_{128-mr. howard} will , but listen to [me]_76-edward — pity [me]_76-edward , save [me]_76-edward from [myself]_76-edward . "_[76-edward] Startled as [he]_76-edward was , [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} , well acquainted with the human heart , its errors , as well as its better impulses , knew how to answer this passionate appeal , so as to invite its full confidence and soothe at the same time . [Edward]_76-edward poured out [his]_76-edward whole tale . It is needless to enter upon it here in detail ; suffice it , that the artful influence of [Harding]_197-harding , by gradually undermining the good impressions of [the home [he]_197-harding had left]_{2830-the home he had left} , had prepared [[his]_197-harding pupil]_{1667-his pupil} for an unlimited indulgence in pleasure , and excitement , at every opportunity which offered . And as [the Prince William]_{192-the prince william} was cruising off [the coast of [British America]_{68-british america}]_{2832-the coast of british america} , and constantly touching at one or other of [[her]_{192-the prince william} ports]_{2833-her ports} , where [Harding]_197-harding , from [his]_197-harding seniority and usefulness , and [Edward]_76-edward , from [his]_76-edward invariable good conduct , were often permitted to go ashore , these opportunities , especially when they were looked for and used by [one practiced in deceit and wickedness]_{2834-one practiced in deceit and wickedness} , were often found . It does not require a long period to initiate in gambling . The very compelled restraint , in the intervals of [its]_2835-its indulgence , but increased [its]_2835-its maddening excitement , and once given up to its blind pursuit , [Harding]_197-harding became more than ever necessary to [Edward]_76-edward , and of course [his]_76-edward power over [him]_76-edward increased . But when [he]_76-edward tried to make [him]_197-harding [a sharer and conniver]_{2836-a sharer and conniver} in [his]_76-edward own low pleasures , to teach [him]_197-harding vice , cautiously as [he]_76-edward thought [he]_76-edward had worked , [he]_76-edward failed ; [Edward]_76-edward started back appalled , and though unhappily [he]_76-edward could not break from [him]_197-harding , from that hour [he]_76-edward misdoubted and shrunk away . But [he]_76-edward had given an advantage to [[his]_76-edward fell tutor]_{2837-his fell tutor} , the extent of which [he]_76-edward knew not [himself]_76-edward . [Harding]_197-harding was too well versed in art to betray disappointment . [He]_76-edward knew when to bring wine to the billiard - table , so to create such a delirium of excitement , that [Edward]_76-edward was wholly unconscious of [his]_76-edward own actions ; and once or twice [he]_76-edward led [him]_76-edward into scenes , and made [him]_76-edward sharer of such vicious pleasures , that secured [him]_76-edward as [[his]_76-edward slave]_{2838-his slave} ; for when the excitement was over , the agony of remorse , the misery , lest [[his]_76-edward confiding captain]_{2839-his confiding captain} should suspect [him]_76-edward other than [he]_76-edward seemed , made [him]_76-edward cling to [Harding]_197-harding 's promises of secrecy , as [his]_76-edward only refuge , even while [he]_76-edward loathed [the man]_{3799-the man} [himself]_76-edward . It was easy to make [such a disposition]_{2841-such a disposition} believe that [he]_76-edward had , in some moment of excitement , done something which , if known , would expel [him]_76-edward [the Navy]_{4305-the navy} ; [Edward]_76-edward could never recall what , but [he]_76-edward believed [him]_197-harding , and became desperate . [Harding]_197-harding told [him]_76-edward it was downright folly to think about it so seriously . It was only known to [him]_76-edward , and [he]_76-edward would not betray [him]_76-edward . But [Edward]_76-edward writhed beneath [his]_76-edward power ; perpetually [he]_76-edward called on [him]_76-edward for pecuniary help , and when [he]_76-edward had none , told [him]_76-edward [he]_76-edward must write [home]_563-home for it , or win it at the billiard - table , or [he]_76-edward knew the consequences ; and [Edward]_76-edward , though again and again [he]_76-edward had resolved [he]_76-edward would not touch a ball or cue ( and the remorse had been such , that [he]_76-edward would no doubt have kept the resolve , had it not been for dread of betrayal ) , rather than write [home]_563-home , would madly seek the first opportunity , and play , and win perhaps enough , all but a few pounds , to satisfy [[his]_76-edward tormentor]_{2845-his tormentor} , and for these [he]_76-edward would appeal to [[his]_76-edward sister]_{561-his sister} , and receive [them]_2847-them , as [we]_2848-we know ; never asking , and so never hearing , the heavy price of individual suffering at which they were obtained . The seven or eight months which had elapsed before [his]_76-edward last fatal appeal , had been occasioned by [the ship]_{5641-the ship} being out at [sea]_579-sea . [Sir Edward]_76-edward had mentioned to [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , that [Edward]_76-edward 's excellent conduct on board had given [him]_76-edward a longer holiday on [shore]_2851-shore , when [they]_2852-they were off [New - York]_{56-new york} , to which place [he]_76-edward had been dispatched on business to [the President]_{2853-the president} , than [most of [[his]_76-edward companions]_{282-his companions}]_{2854-most of his companions} . [Edward]_76-edward thought [himself]_76-edward safe , for [Harding]_197-harding had been unusually quiet ; but the very day [they]_2852-they neared [land]_3848-land , [he]_76-edward told [him]_76-edward [he]_76-edward must have some cash , sneered at the trifling sum [Edward]_76-edward had by [him]_76-edward , told [him]_76-edward if [he]_76-edward chose to let [him]_76-edward try for it fairly , [they]_2852-they should have a chance at billiards for it ; but if that failed , [he]_76-edward must pump [[his]_76-edward rich relations]_{2857-his rich relations} for it , for have it [he]_76-edward must . Trusting to [his]_76-edward luck , for [he]_76-edward had often won , even with [Harding]_197-harding , [he]_76-edward rushed to the table , played , and as might be expected , left off , owing [[his]_76-edward tormentor]_{2845-his tormentor} fifty pounds . [Harding]_197-harding 's fiendish triumph , and [his]_197-harding declaration that [he]_197-harding must trouble [him]_197-harding for a check to that amount , signed by [the great millionaire]_{2859-the great millionaire} , [Arthur Hamilton]_{84-arthur hamilton} , Esq . , goaded [him]_76-edward to madness . [He]_76-edward drank down a large draught of brandy , and deliberately sought another table and [another opponent]_{2860-another opponent} , and won back fifteen ; but it was the last day of [his]_76-edward stay on [shore]_2851-shore , as [[his]_76-edward enslaver]_{2862-his enslaver} knew , and it was the wretchedness , the misery of this heavy debt to [the crafty , merciless betrayer of [his]_76-edward youthful freshness and innocence]_{2863-the crafty , merciless betrayer of his youthful freshness and innocence} , who had solemnly sworn if [he]_197-harding did not pay it by the next letters from [[his]_197-harding home]_{4084-his home} , [he]_197-harding would inform against [him]_197-harding , and [he]_76-edward knew the consequences , which had urged that fearful letter to [Ellen]_113-ellen , from which all [her]_113-ellen suffering had sprung . [Edward]_76-edward was much too young and ignorant of [the world]_{592-the world} 's ways to know that [Harding]_197-harding no more dared execute [his]_197-harding threat against [him]_76-edward , than [he]_197-harding could put [his]_197-harding own head in the lion 's mouth . [His]_76-edward remorse was too deep , [his]_76-edward loathing of [his]_76-edward changed self too unfeigned , to believe that [his]_76-edward errors were not of the heinous , fatal nature which [Harding]_197-harding taught [him]_76-edward to suppose them ; and the anguish of [a naturally fine , noble , independent spirit]_{2866-a naturally fine , noble , independent spirit} may be imagined . All [[his]_76-edward poor mother]_{5497-his poor mother} 's lessons of [[his]_76-edward uncle]_{443-his uncle} 's excessive sternness , and determined pitilessness , toward the faults of [those less firm and worthy than [himself]_76-edward]_{2869-those less firm and worthy than himself} , returned to [him]_76-edward , completely banishing [his]_76-edward own experience of [that same uncle]_{2870-that same uncle} 's excessive kindness . The one feeling had been insensibly instilled in [his]_76-edward boyhood , from as long as [he]_76-edward could remember , till the age of twelve ; the other was but the experience of eighteen short months . Oh , if [parents]_4850-parents would but think and tremble at the vast importance of the first lessons which reach the understanding of [the young beings]_{2872-the young beings} committed to [their]_4850-parents care ! Let [them]_4850-parents impress TRUTH , not prejudice , and [they]_4850-parents are safe . Once fix a false impression , and [they]_4850-parents know not , and it is well , perhaps , [they]_4850-parents do not , the misery that tiny seed may sow . [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} listened with such earnest , heartfelt sympathy , such deep commiseration , that [[his]_{128-mr. howard} young penitent]_{2873-his young penitent} told [him]_{128-mr. howard} every error , every feeling , without the smallest reserve ; and in the long conversation which followed , [he]_{128-mr. howard} felt more comforted , more hopeful of [himself]_{128-mr. howard} , than [he]_{128-mr. howard} had done for long , long months . [He]_{128-mr. howard} told with such a burst of remorseful agony , [his]_{128-mr. howard} cruelty to [[his]_{128-mr. howard} devoted sister]_{2874-his devoted sister} , that [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} could scarcely hear it unmoved , for on that subject there seemed indeed no comfort ; and [he]_{128-mr. howard} [himself]_{128-mr. howard} , though [he]_{128-mr. howard} would not add to [Edward]_76-edward 's misery by confessing it , felt more painfully self - reproached for [his]_{128-mr. howard} severity toward [her]_{2874-his devoted sister} than [his]_{128-mr. howard} conduct as [a minister]_{2875-a minister} had ever excited before . " Be with [me]_76-edward , or rather let [me]_76-edward be with [you]_76-edward , as much as [you]_76-edward can , "_[76-edward] was [Edward]_76-edward 's mournful appeal , as [their]_2876-their long interview closed ; " [I]_76-edward have no dependence on [myself]_76-edward — [a weak , miserable coward]_{6089-a weak , miserable coward} ! longing to forsake the path of evil , and having neither power nor energy to do so . [I]_76-edward know [you]_76-edward will tell [me]_76-edward , pray — trust . If [I]_76-edward had not prayed , [I]_76-edward could not have confessed — but it will not , [I]_76-edward know it will not last . "_[76-edward] " It will , while enduring this heavy trial of [[your]_76-edward poor sister]_{6090-your poor sister} 's terrible illness , and [God]_85-god 's infinite mercy may so strengthen [you]_76-edward in the furnace of affliction , as to last in returning joy ! Despair , and [you]_76-edward must fall ; trust , and [you]_76-edward will hope and struggle — despite of pain or occasional relapses . [Your]_76-edward faults are great , but not so great as [Harding]_197-harding represented them — not so heavy but that [you]_76-edward can conquer and redeem [them]_6091-them , and be yet all [we]_6092-we have believed [you]_76-edward , all that [you]_76-edward hoped for in [yourself]_76-edward . "_[76-edward] " And [[my]_76-edward uncle]_{1463-my uncle} — "_[76-edward] said [Edward]_76-edward , hesitatingly . " Must be told ; but [I]_76-edward will answer for [him]_{1463-my uncle} that [he]_{1463-my uncle} will be neither harsh nor unjust , nor even severe . [I]_76-edward will write to [him]_{1463-my uncle} [myself]_76-edward , and trust to convince [him]_{1463-my uncle} that [your]_76-edward repentance , and resolution are sufficiently sincere , to permit [you]_76-edward a second trial , without referring to [Sir Edward]_76-edward . [You]_76-edward have done nothing to expel [you]_76-edward from [your]_76-edward profession ; but it depends on [yourself]_76-edward to become truly worthy of its noble service . "_[76-edward] There was much in the sad tale [he]_76-edward had heard to give hope , and [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} longed to impart its comfort to [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} ; but [he]_76-edward felt [she]_2877-her could not listen . While day after day passed , and [the poor sufferer for another]_{2878-the poor sufferer for another} 's errors lay hovering between life and death , reason so utterly suspended , that even when the violent agony of the first seven days and nights had subsided into lethargic stupors , alternating with such quiet submission and gentle words , that , had it not been for [their]_2879-their wandering sense , [one]_1058-one might have fancied intellect returning ; still reason was absent — and , though none said it aloud , the fear would gain dominion , that health might return , but not the mind . The first advice had been procured — what was distance , even then , to wealth?—every remedy resorted to . [Her]_2877-her luxuriant hair cut close , and ice itself applied to cool that burning , throbbing pain ; but all had seemed vain , till its cessation , at the end of seven days , somewhat renewed [Mr. Maitland]_{154-mr. maitland} 's hope . Not one tear had [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} shed , and so excessive had been [her]_2877-her fatigue , that [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} and [[her]_{112-miss harcourt} children]_{322-her children} trembled for [her]_2877-her ; conjuring [her]_2877-her , for [their]_2879-their sakes , for [[her]_2877-her husband]_{340-her husband} 's , to take repose . [Mr. Maitland]_{154-mr. maitland} 's argument , that when [Ellen]_113-ellen recovered [her]_113-ellen senses ( which [he]_{154-mr. maitland} assured [her]_113-ellen now [he]_{154-mr. maitland} had little doubt [she]_113-ellen would eventually ) , [she]_113-ellen would need the soothing comfort of [her]_113-ellen presence still more than [she]_113-ellen could then , and [her]_113-ellen strength must fail before that — if [she]_113-ellen so exhausted it — carried more weight than all the rest ; and [[her]_113-ellen daughters]_{533-her daughters} had the inexpressible relief of finding that when , in compliance with [their]_{533-her daughters} tearful entreaties , [she]_113-ellen did lie down , [she]_113-ellen slept , and slept refreshingly , for nature was exhausted . There was much of comfort in those days of trial , which [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} fully realized , when [Ellen]_113-ellen 's convalescence permitted [her]_113-ellen to recall it , though at the time it seemed unnoticed . That [Caroline]_120-caroline 's strong mind and good heart should urge [her]_120-caroline to do every thing in [her]_120-caroline power to save [[her]_120-caroline mother]_{345-her mother} trouble , even to entreat [Ellis]_135-ellis and [Morris]_134-morris to show [her]_120-caroline , and let [her]_120-caroline attend to the weekly duties with [them]_{533-her daughters} , and accomplish them so earnestly and well , that [both these faithful domestics]_{2885-both these faithful domestics} were astonished and delighted , was not surprising ; for [hers]_2886-hers was [a character to display its better qualities in such emergencies]_{2887-a character to display its better qualities in such emergencies} . But that [Emmeline]_78-emmeline should so effectually rouse [herself]_78-emmeline from the overwhelming grief , which had at first assailed [her]_78-emmeline at [Ellen]_113-ellen 's fearful sufferings and great danger , as to be a comfort alike to [[her]_78-emmeline mother]_{345-her mother} and [Edward]_76-edward , and assist [Caroline]_120-caroline whenever [she]_120-caroline could , even trying to be hopeful and cheerful for [others]_756-others ' sakes , till [she]_120-caroline actually became so , was so unexpected , from the grief [she]_120-caroline had indulged in when [she]_120-caroline parted from [[her]_120-caroline father]_{435-her father} , that it did surprise . To be in [the room]_{356-the room} with [Ellen]_113-ellen had so affected [her]_120-caroline at first , that [she]_120-caroline became pale , and so evidently terrified , that [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} half desired [her]_120-caroline not to come , especially as [she]_120-caroline could do no good ; and [Mrs. Greville]_{140-mrs. greville} and [Mary]_143-mary had tried to prevail on [her]_120-caroline to stay with [them]_2892-them , but [she]_120-caroline would not hear of it . " If [I]_143-mary can do no good , can neither help [mamma]_80-mamma in nursing [Ellen]_113-ellen , nor do as [Caroline]_120-caroline does , [I]_143-mary can , at least , try to comfort [poor Edward]_76-edward , and [I]_143-mary will not leave [him]_76-edward . If [I]_143-mary am so weak as not to be able to endure anxiety and sorrow without showing it , it shall not conquer [me]_143-mary . No , no , dear [Mary]_143-mary ; come and see [me]_143-mary as often as [you]_143-mary like , but [I]_143-mary can not leave [home]_563-home till [mamma]_80-mamma and [Ellen]_113-ellen and [we]_6095-we are all happy again ! "_[143-mary] And [she]_120-caroline did devote [herself]_120-caroline to [Edward]_76-edward , and so successfully — with [her]_120-caroline gentle sympathy with [his]_76-edward grief , [her]_120-caroline tender feeling toward [his]_76-edward faults , [her]_120-caroline conviction of [[her]_120-caroline father]_{435-her father} 's forgiveness , [her]_120-caroline unassuming but heart - breathing piety , which , without one word unduly introduced of a subject so holy , for [she]_120-caroline felt [herself]_120-caroline much too lowly and ignorant to approach it — yet always led up [his]_76-edward thoughts to [God]_85-god , and from [one so young , so humble , and , in general , so joyous]_{2894-one so young , so humble , and , in general , so joyous} , had still greater effect in confirming [his]_76-edward returning religious hope , than had [[his]_76-edward teachers]_{2895-his teachers} been [only those who were older and wiser than [himself]_76-edward]_{2896-only those who were older and wiser than himself} . However miserable [he]_76-edward might be before [she]_120-caroline came , [he]_76-edward looked to [her]_120-caroline society , [her]_120-caroline eloquence , as comfort and hope ; and soon perceiving this , [she]_120-caroline was encouraged to go on , though quite astonished — for [she]_120-caroline could not imagine what [she]_120-caroline had done to deserve such commendation — when [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} , one day meeting [her]_120-caroline alone , took both [her]_120-caroline hands in [his]_{128-mr. howard} , and with even unusual fervor bade [God]_85-god bless [her!—for]_{2897-her!—for} young , lowly as [she]_120-caroline was , [she]_120-caroline not only comforted [the erring]_{2898-the erring} , but raised and strengthened [the penitent]_{2899-the penitent} 's trembling faith and hope . [Poor Edward]_76-edward ! harder than all seemed to [him]_76-edward [[his]_76-edward aunt]_{365-his aunt} 's silence . [He]_76-edward knew [[his]_76-edward sister]_{561-his sister} entirely engrossed [her]_{365-his aunt} — ill as [Ellen]_113-ellen was , it could not be otherwise ; but [he]_76-edward passionately longed only for one word from [her]_{365-his aunt} : that [she]_{365-his aunt} forgave [him]_76-edward the misery [she]_{365-his aunt} was enduring . Not aware that such was [his]_76-edward feeling , conscious [herself]_{365-his aunt} that [her]_{365-his aunt} sole feeling toward [him]_76-edward was pity , not anger , and looking to [herself]_{365-his aunt} alone as the cause of [[her]_{365-his aunt} poor child]_{4398-her poor child} 's sufferings , [she]_{365-his aunt} did not think for a moment that [he]_76-edward could imagine [her]_{365-his aunt} never referring to [his]_76-edward confession originated in displeasure . Ten or twelve days had so passed , when one afternoon , completely exhausted with two nights ' watchfulness — for though [nurse Langford]_{204-mrs. langford} and [Fanny]_170-fanny were in constant attendance on [Ellen]_113-ellen , [she]_{365-his aunt} could not rest if [she]_{365-his aunt} heard that harrowing cry for [her]_113-ellen , even though [her]_{365-his aunt} presence brought no comfort — [she]_{365-his aunt} went to lie down for a few hours on a couch in [[her]_{365-his aunt} dressing - room]_{4895-her dressing - room} . [Caroline]_120-caroline had taken a book , though with not much inclination to read , to sit by [her]_{365-his aunt} , and watch that [her]_{365-his aunt} sleep should not be disturbed . How in those moments of quiet did [she]_{365-his aunt} long for [[her]_{365-his aunt} father]_{435-her father} ! feeling intuitively how much heavier was [[her]_{365-his aunt} mother]_{345-her mother} 's trial without [his]_76-edward loved support . [He]_76-edward had been written to by [them]_2906-them all since [Edward]_76-edward 's confession . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had done so in [[Ellen]_113-ellen 's room]_{2907-ellen 's room} , only to beseech [him]_76-edward to write forgivingly , forbearingly , to the unhappy cause of all . [She]_{365-his aunt} did not dare breathe [her]_{365-his aunt} feelings , even on paper , to [him]_76-edward , convinced that if [she]_{365-his aunt} did so , control must give way , and [she]_{365-his aunt} was powerless at once ; but [[her]_{365-his aunt} husband]_{340-her husband} knew [her]_{365-his aunt} so well that every suppression of individual emotion betrayed more forcibly than the most earnest words , all [she]_{365-his aunt} was enduring . [Caroline]_120-caroline had kept [her]_120-caroline affectionate vigil nearly two hours , when [Edward]_76-edward 's voice whispered , " [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} wants [you]_120-caroline , [dear Caroline]_120-caroline ; let [me]_76-edward take [your]_120-caroline place , [I]_76-edward will be quite as watchful as [yourself]_120-caroline ; only let [me]_76-edward stay here , [you]_120-caroline do not know the comfort it will be . "_[76-edward] To resist [his]_76-edward look of pleading wretchedness was impossible . [She]_120-caroline left [him]_76-edward , and [Edward]_76-edward drawing [a low stool to the foot of the couch]_{2909-a low stool to the foot of the couch} , as if not daring to occupy [[his]_76-edward cousin]_{2154-his cousin} 's seat , which was close by the pillow , gazed on the mild , gentle features of [[his]_76-edward aunt]_{365-his aunt} , as in [their]_2912-their deep repose [they]_2912-their showed still clearer the traces of anxiety and sorrow , and felt more keenly than ever the full amount of misery , which [his]_76-edward errors and [their]_2912-their fatal concealment had created . " Why is it , "_[76-edward] [he]_76-edward thought , " [that man]_{6096-that man} can not bear the punishment of [his]_{6096-that man} faults without causing [the innocent]_{2219-the innocent} , the good , to suffer also ? "_[76-edward] And [his]_76-edward heart seemed to answer , " Because by those very social ties , the strong impulses of love for [one another]_{3969-one another} , which would save [others]_756-others from woe , [we]_6100-we may be preserved and redeemed from vice again , and yet again , when , were [man alone]_{6101-man alone} [the sufferer]_{4301-the sufferer} , vice would be stronger than remorse , and never be redeemed . "_[76-edward] [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} woke with that painful start which long watchfulness always occasions , and missing [Caroline]_120-caroline , yet feeling as if [she]_120-caroline were not alone , [her]_120-caroline eyes speedily fixed themselves in some surprise on [the figure of [[her]_120-caroline nephew]_{696-her nephew} , who , unable to bear the thoughts the sight of [her]_120-caroline exhaustion produced , had bent [his]_{696-her nephew} head upon the couch]_{2913-the figure of her nephew , who , unable to bear the thoughts the sight of her exhaustion produced , had bent his head upon the couch} . Inexpressibly touched , and glad of the opportunity to speak to [him]_76-edward alone , [she]_120-caroline called [him]_76-edward to [her]_120-caroline , and there was something in the tone that encouraged [him]_76-edward to fling [himself]_76-edward on [his]_76-edward knees by [her]_120-caroline side , and sob like [an infant]_{3556-an infant} , saying , almost inarticulately — " Can [you]_120-caroline , will [you]_120-caroline , ever forgive [me]_{3556-an infant} , [aunt Emmeline]_78-emmeline ? [Your]_120-caroline silence has almost broken [my]_{3556-an infant} heart , for it seemed to say [you]_120-caroline never could ; and when [I]_{3556-an infant} look at [my]_{3556-an infant} poor [Ellen]_113-ellen , and see how [I]_{3556-an infant} have changed [this happy home]_{6103-this happy home} into sorrow and gloom and sin , for it is all [my]_{3556-an infant} work — [mine]_{3556-an infant} , whom [you]_120-caroline have loved , treated , trusted , as [a son]_{6104-a son} — [I]_{3556-an infant} feel [you]_120-caroline can not forgive [me]_{3556-an infant} ; [I]_{3556-an infant} ought to go from [you]_120-caroline ; [I]_{3556-an infant} have no right to pollute [[your]_120-caroline home]_{1726-your home} . "_{[3556-an infant]} " Hush , [Edward]_76-edward ! do not give utterance or indulgence to any such thoughts . [[My]_120-caroline poor unhappy boy]_{6106-my poor unhappy boy} ! [your]_120-caroline errors have brought such fearful chastisement from the hand of [God]_85-god [himself]_85-god , it is not for [me]_120-caroline to treat [you]_120-caroline harshly . May [His]_85-god mercy avert yet severer trial ! [I]_120-caroline will not hear [your]_120-caroline story now ; [you]_120-caroline are too agitated to tell it , and [I]_120-caroline am not at this moment strong enough to hear it . [I]_120-caroline am satisfied that [you]_120-caroline have confided all to [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} , and will be guided by [him]_{128-mr. howard} . Only tell [me]_120-caroline how came [you]_120-caroline first to apply to [Ellen]_113-ellen ? Did the thought never strike [you]_120-caroline , that in sending relief to [you]_120-caroline , [she]_113-ellen might be exposing [herself]_113-ellen to inconvenience or displeasure ? Was there no consideration due to [her]_113-ellen ? "_{[120-caroline]} " [I]_2916-my never seemed to think of [her]_113-ellen , except as glad and willing to help [me]_2916-my , at whatever cost to [herself]_113-ellen , "_[2916-my] was [his]_2916-my reply . " [I]_2916-my feel now the cruel selfishness of the belief — but , oh , [aunt Emmeline]_78-emmeline , it was fostered in [me]_2916-my from [my]_2916-my earliest childhood , grew with [my]_2916-my growth , increased with [my]_2916-my years , received strength and meaning from [[my]_2916-my poor mother]_{6107-my poor mother} 's utter neglect of [her]_113-ellen , and too indulgent thought for [me]_2916-my . [I]_2916-my never thought so till now , now that [I]_2916-my know all [[my]_2916-my poor sister]_{6087-my poor sister} 's meek and gentle worth , and it makes [me]_2916-my still more miserable . [I]_2916-my never could think [her]_113-ellen [[my]_2916-my equal]_{6109-my equal} ; never could fancy [she]_113-ellen could have a will or wish apart from [mine]_2916-my , and [I]_2916-my can not trace the commencement of the feeling . Oh ! if [we]_6110-we had been but treated alike ! but taught to so love [each other]_{938-each other} , as to think of [each other]_{938-each other} 's happiness above [our]_6110-we own , as [you]_{81-mrs. hamilton} taught [[my]_2916-my cousins]_{933-my cousins} ! "_[2916-my] " Do [you]_2917-he know any thing of the promise to which [poor Ellen]_113-ellen so constantly refers ? "_{[81-mrs. hamilton]} inquired [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , after gently soothing [his]_2917-he painful agitation . [He]_2917-he did not ; but acknowledged that from the time [they]_2918-they had become [inmates of [Oakwood]_12-oakwood]_{2919-inmates of oakwood} , [Ellen]_113-ellen had constantly saved [him]_2917-he from punishment by bearing the penalty of [his]_2917-he faults ; recalling numerous incidents , trifling in [themselves]_{2920-themselves} , but which had always perplexed [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , as evincing such strange contradictions in [Ellen]_113-ellen 's childish character , and none more so than the disobedience which [we]_2921-we related in [our]_2921-we second part , and which [Edward]_76-edward 's avowal of having [himself]_76-edward moved the flower - stand , now so clearly explained . [He]_2917-he said , too , that [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} had thought it necessary , for [Ellen]_113-ellen 's perfect justification , to examine [her]_113-ellen letters and papers , but that all [his]_2917-he appeals to [her]_113-ellen had been destroyed but one — [his]_2917-he last fatal inclosure , the exact contents of which [he]_2917-he had so utterly forgotten , written , as they were , in a moment of madness , that [he]_2917-he shuddered [himself]_2917-he as [he]_2917-he read it . [He]_2917-he placed the paper in [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's hand , conjuring [her]_113-ellen not to recall [her]_113-ellen forgiveness when [she]_113-ellen read it ; but [she]_113-ellen must see it , it was the only amends [he]_2917-he could make [his]_2917-he poor [Ellen]_113-ellen , to exculpate [her]_113-ellen fully . Was it any wonder it had almost driven [her]_113-ellen wild ? or that [she]_113-ellen should have scarcely known the means [she]_113-ellen adopted to send [him]_2917-he the relief , which , as [he]_2917-he deserved , had never reached [him]_2917-he . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} read the letter , and as thought after thought rose to [her]_113-ellen mind , connecting , defining , explaining [Ellen]_113-ellen 's conduct from [her]_113-ellen fifteenth birthday , the day [she]_113-ellen received it , to the discovery of [her]_113-ellen sin , and [her]_113-ellen devoted silence afterward , trifling incidents which [she]_113-ellen had forgotten returned to add their weight of evidence , and increase almost to agony [her]_113-ellen self - reproach , for not seeing the whole before , and acting differently . [She]_113-ellen remembered now [Ellen]_113-ellen 's procrastination in writing to [Edward]_76-edward , the illness which followed , and could well understand [her]_113-ellen dread lest the finding the notes should be traced to that day , and so throw a suspicion on [[her]_113-ellen brother]_{384-her brother} , and [her]_113-ellen consequent firmness in refusing to state the day [she]_113-ellen had found them . That long interview was one of inexpressible comfort to [Edward]_76-edward ; but though [his]_76-edward unfeigned repentance and full confession gave [[his]_76-edward aunt]_{365-his aunt} hope for [him]_76-edward , it did but increase [her]_113-ellen individual trial , as [she]_113-ellen returned to [[Ellen]_113-ellen 's couch]_{2924-ellen 's couch} , and listened to wanderings only too painfully explained by the tale [she]_113-ellen had heard . It was the seventeenth day of [Ellen]_113-ellen 's illness , and for six - and - thirty hours [she]_113-ellen had slept profoundly , waking only at very long intervals , just sufficiently to swallow a few drops of port wine , which [Mr. Maitland]_{154-mr. maitland} had ordered to be administered if [she]_113-ellen woke , and sunk to sleep again . It was that deep , still , almost fearful repose , for it is so like death , which [we]_2925-we can scarcely satisfy [ourselves]_2925-we is life , except by holding a glass at intervals to the lips , to trace if indeed it receive the moisture of the breath . And [nurse Langford]_{204-mrs. langford} , [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , and [Edward]_76-edward had , through these long hours , watched and scarcely stirred . For [they]_2926-they knew that on [her]_113-ellen waking hung hope or misery , return of intellect , or its confirmed suspension . [Mr. Maitland]_{154-mr. maitland} had particularly wished [Edward]_76-edward to be with [her]_113-ellen when [she]_113-ellen recovered [her]_113-ellen senses , that [his]_76-edward presence might seem as natural as [either of [[her]_113-ellen cousins]_{3955-her cousins}]_{2927-either of her cousins} ; but [he]_{154-mr. maitland} warned [him]_76-edward that the least display of agitation on [his]_76-edward part , or reference to the past , in [her]_113-ellen exhausted state , might be fatal to [her]_113-ellen . It was quite the evening . [Widow Langford]_{218-widow langford} had lighted the lamp , and sat down by the fire , scarcely able to breathe freely , from the intensity of [her]_{218-widow langford} hope that [Ellen]_113-ellen would recover . And if such were [her]_{218-widow langford} feelings , what were [Edward]_76-edward 's and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's ? [The former]_{313-the former} was kneeling on the right of the bed , [his]_{313-the former} eyes alternately fixed on [[his]_{313-the former} sister]_{561-his sister} , and buried in the coverlid . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} was on the opposite side , close to [Ellen]_113-ellen 's pillow , the curtain drawn so far back , that the least change on [the patient]_{2931-the patient} 's countenance was discernible . Hour after hour had so passed , the chimes that told [their]_2932-their flight were scarcely heard by [those anxious watchers]_{2933-those anxious watchers} . It was about eight o'clock , when a slight movement in [Ellen]_113-ellen made [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} 's heart so throb , as almost to deprive [her]_113-ellen of breath ; [her]_113-ellen eyes unclosed , and a smile , such as [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had not seen for weeks , nay , months , circled [her]_113-ellen lips . " [Dear aunt]_{3449-dear aunt} , have [I]_113-ellen been ill ? It seems such a long , long time since [I]_113-ellen have seen [you]_{3449-dear aunt} , and [my]_113-ellen head feels so strange , so light ; and [this room]_{1858-this room} , it is [my]_113-ellen own , [I]_113-ellen know , but [I]_113-ellen feel as if it did not belong to [me]_113-ellen , somehow . Do make [my]_113-ellen head clear , [I]_113-ellen can not think at all . "_[113-ellen] " Do not try to think yet , [darling]_3431-darling . [You]_3431-darling have been very , very ill , and to endeavor to think might hurt [you]_3431-darling . [Strength]_219-strength will soon return now , [I]_{81-mrs. hamilton} hope , and then [your]_3431-darling head will be quite clear again , "_{[81-mrs. hamilton]} returned [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , quietly and caressingly , though [she]_113-ellen so trembled with the change from sickening dread to certain hope , that [she]_113-ellen [herself]_113-ellen scarcely knew how [she]_113-ellen spoke at all . " But what made [me]_113-ellen so ill , [aunt]_1460-aunt ? [I]_113-ellen feel as if it were some great pain ; [I]_113-ellen can not remember any thing clearly , but yet it seems as if [I]_113-ellen had been very unhappy — and that — that [you]_{81-mrs. hamilton} did not love [me]_113-ellen any more . Did any thing make [me]_113-ellen ill ? Was it really so ? "_[113-ellen] " That [I]_113-ellen did not love [you]_3431-darling , [[my]_113-ellen [Ellen]_113-ellen]_{1128-my ellen} ! Indeed , that was only fancy . [You]_3431-darling were very unhappy , as [we]_6119-we were all , for [Edward]_76-edward did not come as soon as [we]_6119-we expected [him]_76-edward , and the storms were very dreadful , and [we]_6119-we feared [[his]_76-edward ship]_{5385-his ship} might have been wrecked , or cast ashore , somewhere very far off , where [we]_6119-we could not hear of [him]_76-edward ; and when [you]_3431-darling saw [him]_76-edward , and knew [he]_76-edward was safe , the anxiety and pain [you]_3431-darling had undergone , made [you]_3431-darling ill ; [you]_3431-darling know a little thing will do that , [dearest]_861-dearest . "_[113-ellen] " But is [he]_76-edward really safe , [aunt Emmeline]_78-emmeline ? Where is [he]_76-edward ? "_[113-ellen] " Close by [you]_3431-darling , [love]_1084-love . [He]_76-edward has been as watchful and anxious [a nurse]_{6123-a nurse} as [I]_113-ellen have been . [Poor fellow]_{1323-poor fellow} , [you]_3431-darling have given [him]_76-edward a sad welcome , but [you]_3431-darling must make up for it , by - and - by . "_[113-ellen] [Ellen]_113-ellen looked languidly , yet eagerly round , as [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} spoke , and [her]_113-ellen gaze fixed itself on [[her]_113-ellen brother]_{384-her brother} , who was struggling violently to suppress the emotion which , at the sound of [her]_{367-her aunt} voice , in connected words , nearly overpowered [him]_{384-her brother} ; and still more so , when [Ellen]_113-ellen said , more eagerly than [she]_113-ellen had yet spoken — " [Dear Edward]_76-edward ! come and kiss [me]_113-ellen , and do not look so sad . [I]_113-ellen shall soon get well . "_[113-ellen] [He]_{384-her brother} bent over [her]_113-ellen , and kissed [her]_113-ellen repeatedly , trying in vain to say something , but [he]_{384-her brother} felt so choked , [he]_{384-her brother} could not ; and [Ellen]_113-ellen held [his]_{384-her brother} hand , and looked earnestly , searchingly in [his]_{384-her brother} face , as if trying painfully to define the vague thoughts and memories which seemed all connected with [him]_{384-her brother} and with pain , but which would not take a distinct form . [Her]_113-ellen eye wandered from [him]_{384-her brother} for a moment to [nurse Langford]_{204-mrs. langford} , who had come to the foot of the bed , and that seemed another face connected with the blank past , and then it fixed itself again on [Edward]_76-edward , and [her]_113-ellen pale face so worked with the effort of thought , that [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} became alarmed . [She]_113-ellen saw , too , that [Edward]_76-edward was growing paler and paler , and trembled for the continuance of [his]_76-edward control . Taking [Ellen]_113-ellen 's hand gently from [his]_{384-her brother} , and arranging [her]_113-ellen pillow at the same time , so as to turn [her]_113-ellen face rather from [him]_{384-her brother} , [she]_113-ellen said , playfully — " [You]_{384-her brother} have looked at [Edward]_76-edward long enough , [Ellen]_113-ellen , to be quite sure [he]_76-edward is safe at [home]_563-home . So now [I]_113-ellen shall be jealous if [you]_{384-her brother} give [him]_76-edward any more of [your]_{384-her brother} attention and neglect [me]_113-ellen ; [you]_{384-her brother} must take some nourishment , and try to go to sleep again , for [I]_113-ellen must not have [you]_{384-her brother} try [your]_{384-her brother} strength too much . "_[113-ellen] " If [I]_113-ellen could but remember clearly , "_[113-ellen] answered [Ellen]_113-ellen , sadly ; " it is all so vague — so dark — but [I]_113-ellen do not think it was only because [he]_76-edward did not come , that made [me]_113-ellen so unhappy . "_[113-ellen] " [You]_{384-her brother} are not going to be disobedient , dearest , "_[113-ellen] replied [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , firmly , though fondly , as [she]_113-ellen hastily signed to [Edward]_76-edward to leave [the room]_{356-the room} , which [he]_76-edward most thankfully did , never stopping till [he]_76-edward reached [his]_76-edward own , and tried to thank [God]_85-god for [His]_76-edward great mercy , but could only sob . " [I]_113-ellen told [you]_{384-her brother} not to think , because to do so might retard return of strength , and indeed [you]_{384-her brother} must try and obey [me]_113-ellen ; [you]_{384-her brother} know [I]_113-ellen am very peremptory sometimes . "_[113-ellen] And the fond kiss with which [she]_113-ellen enforced the command seemed to satisfy [Ellen]_113-ellen , whose natural submissiveness , combined with excessive physical weakness , caused [her]_113-ellen to obey at once , and not attempt to think any more . [She]_113-ellen took the required nourishment with returning appetite , and soon afterward fell quietly and happily to sleep again , [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} 's hand closely clasped in [hers]_113-ellen . From that day , all fear of disordered intellect departed , and , gradually , the extreme exhaustion gave way before [Mr. Maitland]_{154-mr. maitland} 's judicious treatment . Strength , indeed , returned so slowly and almost imperceptibly , that it was necessary to count improvement by weeks , not days . And when , six weeks after [her]_113-ellen first seizure , [she]_113-ellen was thought well enough to be carried to [[Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's dressing - room]_{4268-mrs. hamilton 's dressing - room} , and laid on a couch there , it was a source of gratitude and rejoicing to all . But [Mr. Maitland]_{154-mr. maitland} and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} soon saw , with intense anxiety , that with physical strength , memory and thought had both fully returned , and that [their]_2940-their consequence was a depression so deep , as effectually to retard [her]_113-ellen perfect recovery . [She]_113-ellen seemed to shrink from all attention , all kindness , as utterly undeserved , even from [[her]_113-ellen cousins]_{3955-her cousins} . [She]_113-ellen would look at [Edward]_76-edward for half an hour together , with an expression of suffering that made the heart actually ache . At times [she]_113-ellen would receive [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's caressing and judicious tenderness as if it were [her]_113-ellen only comfort , at others , shrink from it , as if [she]_113-ellen had no right to it . " This will never do , "_{[154-mr. maitland]} [Mr. Maitland]_{154-mr. maitland} said , about ten days after [Ellen]_113-ellen 's removal into [[her]_113-ellen daily quarters]_{2942-her daily quarters} , and finding [she]_113-ellen was losing ground ; " there is something on [her]_113-ellen mind , which must be removed , even if to do so , [you]_{154-mr. maitland} refer to the past . [She]_113-ellen remembers it all too clearly , [I]_{154-mr. maitland} fear , so [our]_2943-our not alluding to it does no good . [You]_{154-mr. maitland} must be [the physician in this case]_{6126-the physician in this case} , [[my]_{154-mr. maitland} dear]_{3485-my dear} [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , for [I]_{154-mr. maitland} am powerless . "_{[154-mr. maitland]} But though [she]_113-ellen quite agreed with [him]_{154-mr. maitland} , how to approach such a very painful subject required no little consideration ; but , as is very often the case , chance does that on which [we]_2943-our have expended so much thought . One afternoon [Ellen]_113-ellen lay so still , so pale , on [her]_113-ellen couch , that [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} bent over [her]_113-ellen to listen if [she]_113-ellen breathed , saying as [she]_113-ellen did so , almost unconsciously — " [My]_{81-mrs. hamilton} poor [Ellen]_113-ellen , when shall [I]_{81-mrs. hamilton} have the comfort of seeing [you]_113-ellen well and happy again ? "_{[81-mrs. hamilton]} [Ellen]_113-ellen hastily unclosed [her]_113-ellen eyes , for [she]_113-ellen was not asleep — it had been only the stupor of painfully - engrossing thought , rendering [her]_113-ellen insensible to all outward things , but [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} 's voice aroused [her]_113-ellen , and it seemed an inexpressible relief to feel [they]_2945-they were quite alone . Trying to rise , and clasping [her]_113-ellen hands , [she]_113-ellen said , in a tone of strong excitement — " Oh , [aunt Emmeline]_78-emmeline , how can [I]_113-ellen be happy — how can [I]_113-ellen be well — when [I]_113-ellen think — think — that if it had not been for [my]_113-ellen sin , and the misery it brought on [me]_113-ellen , [Edward]_76-edward might be safe still ? [no one]_{3540-no one} need have known [his]_76-edward errors . [I]_113-ellen tried to save — and — and [I]_113-ellen have only betrayed , and made [him]_76-edward wretched . All [I]_113-ellen suffered was for nothing , worse than nothing ! "_[113-ellen] " Thank [God]_85-god , [you]_113-ellen have spoken , [[my]_2946-i dear child]_{1285-my dear child} ! [I]_2946-i felt as if [I]_2946-i dared not introduce the subject ; but now that [you]_113-ellen have [yourself]_113-ellen , [I]_2946-i think [I]_2946-i shall be able , if indeed [you]_113-ellen will listen to [me]_2946-i patiently , [Ellen]_113-ellen , to disperse the painful mists , that are still pressing so heavily on this poor little heart and brain , "_[2946-i] [she]_2946-i said , fondly , though seriously , as [she]_2946-i put [her]_2946-i arm round [Ellen]_113-ellen , to support [her]_113-ellen as [she]_113-ellen sat up . " [I]_2946-i do not tell [you]_113-ellen it is not a natural feeling , [[my]_2946-i love]_{3456-my love} , but it is a wrong one . Had [your]_113-ellen sin , in consideration of its being , as [I]_2946-i am now convinced it was , wholly involuntary — for in the fearful state of mind [Edward]_76-edward 's desperate letter occasioned , [you]_113-ellen could not have known or thought of any thing , but that relief seemed sent to [your]_113-ellen hand — had it on that account been permitted so far to succeed , as to give [him]_76-edward the aid [he]_76-edward demanded , and never have been traced to [you]_113-ellen , it would have confirmed [him]_76-edward in the path of guilt and error , and poisoned [your]_113-ellen happiness forever . When [you]_113-ellen recall the agony , almost madness [you]_113-ellen felt , while burdened with the consciousness of such an act , how could [you]_113-ellen have borne it , if it had continued through months , perhaps years ? [You]_113-ellen shudder ; yet this must have been the case , and [Edward]_76-edward would have persisted in error , if [your]_113-ellen sin had been permitted to succeed . Its detection , and the sufferings thence springing , terrible as they have been to [you]_113-ellen , [[my]_2946-i poor child]_{866-my poor child} , have saved [him]_76-edward ; and will , [I]_2946-i trust , only bring securer happiness to [you]_113-ellen . "_[2946-i] " Saved [him]_76-edward ! "_[113-ellen] repeated [Ellen]_113-ellen , half starting up , and scarcely hearing the last words—"saved [Edward]_76-edward ! "_[2946-i] " Yes , [dearest]_861-dearest , by leading [him]_76-edward to a full confession , and giving [him]_76-edward not only the inexpressible comfort of such a proceeding , but permitting [him]_76-edward to see , that great and disappointing as [his]_76-edward errors are , they can be conquered . They are not of the irremediable , guilt - confirming nature , that [he]_76-edward was taught to suppose them for [Harding]_197-harding 's own most guilty ends , and so giving [him]_76-edward hope and resolution to amend , which a belief that amendment is impossible , entirely frustrates . Do not fear for [Edward]_76-edward , [my]_2946-i own love ; [he]_76-edward will give [you]_113-ellen as much pride and comfort as [he]_76-edward has anxiety and grief ; and [you]_113-ellen , under [God]_85-god 's mercy , will have been the cause . It is a hard lesson to learn , and yet , [Ellen]_113-ellen , [I]_2946-i think one day , when [you]_113-ellen can look back more calmly on the last few months , [you]_113-ellen will acknowledge with [me]_2946-i , that great as [your]_113-ellen sufferings have been , [they]_6133-they were sent in love both to [him]_76-edward and to [you]_113-ellen . "_[2946-i] " If [they]_6133-they have saved [him]_76-edward — saved [him]_76-edward from a continuance in error , and so made [him]_76-edward happy!—Oh , [aunt Emmeline]_78-emmeline , [I]_2947-i can think so now , and [I]_2947-i will try to bear the rest ? but why , "_[2947-i] [she]_2947-i added , growing more excited , " oh , why have [you]_113-ellen been so good , so kind ? Why did [you]_113-ellen not continue cold and distant ? [I]_2947-i could bear it better , then . "_[2947-i] " Bear what , love ? What have [you]_113-ellen more to bear ? Tell [me]_2946-i all without reserve . Why should [I]_2946-i be cold , when [you]_113-ellen deserve all [my]_2946-i love and kindness ? "_[2946-i] " Because — because , am [I]_2946-i not to go to [Seldon Grange]_{66-seldon grange} , as soon as [I]_2946-i am strong enough ? [Uncle Hamilton]_{220-uncle hamilton} said , there could be no excusing cause demanding a complete avoidance of [his]_{220-uncle hamilton} sentence . [I]_2946-i thought it was pain enough when [you]_113-ellen first told [me]_2946-i ; but now , now every time [I]_2946-i think about it , it seems as if [I]_2946-i could not bear it . "_[2946-i] " And [you]_113-ellen are not called upon to bear it , [[my]_113-ellen dear child]_{1285-my dear child} . Is it possible [you]_113-ellen could think for a moment that [I]_113-ellen could send [you]_113-ellen away from [me]_113-ellen , when [you]_113-ellen have borne so much , and been treated with far too much severity already ? Did [I]_113-ellen not tell [you]_113-ellen that the term of [your]_113-ellen banishment depended entirely on the motive of [your]_113-ellen silence , and do [you]_113-ellen think there was no excuse in [your]_113-ellen motive , [[my]_113-ellen [Ellen]_113-ellen]_{1128-my ellen} , mistaken as it was ? Is self - devotion to be of no more account to [me]_113-ellen , than it seemed to [you]_113-ellen ? Come , smile , [dearest]_861-dearest ; [I]_113-ellen promise [you]_113-ellen , in [[your]_113-ellen uncle]_{3427-your uncle} 's name and [my]_113-ellen own , [you]_113-ellen shall never leave [us]_6138-us , unless it be of [your]_113-ellen own free will and pleasure , a few years hence . "_[113-ellen] [Ellen]_113-ellen did try to smile , but [she]_113-ellen was too weak to bear this complete removal of a double burden without an emotion that seemed more like pain than joy . [She]_113-ellen laid [her]_113-ellen head on [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} 's shoulder , and wept without restraint . They were the first tears [she]_113-ellen had shed since [her]_113-ellen illness , and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} thanked [God]_85-god for them . [She]_113-ellen did not attempt to check them , but the few words [she]_113-ellen did speak , told such affectionate sympathy , such perfect comprehension of that young heart , that [Ellen]_113-ellen felt as if a mountain of lead were dissolving from [her]_113-ellen . " And now , [[my]_{81-mrs. hamilton} [Ellen]_113-ellen]_{1128-my ellen} , that [I]_{81-mrs. hamilton} have relieved [you]_113-ellen of a painful dread , will [you]_113-ellen ease [my]_{81-mrs. hamilton} mind of a great anxiety ? "_{[81-mrs. hamilton]} inquired [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , nearly an hour afterward , when [Ellen]_113-ellen seemed so relieved and calmed , that [she]_113-ellen could talk to [her]_{367-her aunt} without fear . " [You]_113-ellen look surprised ; but it is a subject [you]_113-ellen alone can explain , and till it is solved , [I]_113-ellen shall never feel that [your]_113-ellen happiness is secure . What is this promise , to which in [your]_113-ellen illness [you]_113-ellen so constantly referred , and which , [I]_113-ellen fear , has strengthened [you]_113-ellen in the system of self - sacrifice for [Edward]_76-edward 's sake , in addition to [your]_113-ellen love for [him]_76-edward ? "_[113-ellen] A deep flush rose to [Ellen]_113-ellen 's transparent cheek and brow , as [she]_113-ellen answered , falteringly — " Ought [I]_113-ellen to tell [you]_{367-her aunt} , [dear aunt]_{3449-dear aunt} ? [You]_{367-her aunt} do not know how often , how very often [I]_113-ellen have longed to ask [you]_{367-her aunt} , if to keep it made [me]_113-ellen do wrong — whether [I]_113-ellen ought to break it ? And yet it seemed so sacred , and it gave [poor mamma]_{1458-poor mamma} such comfort ! "_[113-ellen] " When did [you]_{367-her aunt} make it , love ? [Its]_6142-its import [I]_113-ellen need not ask [you]_{367-her aunt} , for [you]_{367-her aunt} betrayed it , when [you]_{367-her aunt} knew not what [you]_{367-her aunt} said , and it was confirmed by [your]_{367-her aunt} whole conduct . To shield [Edward]_76-edward from blame or punishment , by never revealing [his]_76-edward faults ? "_[113-ellen] " Was it wrong ? "_[113-ellen] murmured [Ellen]_113-ellen , hiding [her]_113-ellen conscious face . " Wrong in [you]_{367-her aunt} ! [no dearest]_{6143-no dearest} ; for [you]_{367-her aunt} were too young to know all the pain and evil it was likely to bring . Tell [me]_113-ellen when , and how , it was taken ; and [I]_113-ellen think [I]_113-ellen can prove to [you]_{367-her aunt} that [[your]_{367-her aunt} poor mother]_{6065-your poor mother} would have recalled it , had [she]_{345-her mother} had the least idea of the solemn hold it had taken upon [you]_{367-her aunt} . "_[113-ellen] Thus encouraged , [Ellen]_113-ellen narrated the scene that had taken place in [[widow Morgan]_{79-widow morgan} 's cottage]_{319-widow morgan 's cottage} just before [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} arrived ; and [[her]_113-ellen mother]_{345-her mother} 's fears for [Edward]_76-edward , and dread of [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , which it was very evident , and now more than ever , had extended to both [[her]_{345-her mother} children]_{322-her children} . [She]_113-ellen said that [Mr. Myrvin]_{74-mr. myrvin} 's assurance , that [[her]_113-ellen mother]_{345-her mother} could see , and would love [her]_113-ellen in [Heaven]_8-heaven , directly following the promise , had given it still more weight and solemnity . That at first [she]_113-ellen thought it would be very easy to keep , because [she]_113-ellen loved [Edward]_76-edward so dearly ; but [she]_113-ellen had not been long at [Oakwood]_12-oakwood before it made [her]_113-ellen very unhappy , from its constant interference with , and prevention of , [her]_113-ellen obedience and duty to [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} ; that it had often caused [her]_113-ellen violent head aches , only from [her]_113-ellen vain attempts to satisfy [herself]_113-ellen as to that which [she]_113-ellen ought to do . When [Edward]_76-edward first went to [sea]_579-sea , and all seemed so right and happy with [him]_76-edward , of course [she]_113-ellen became happier than [she]_113-ellen had ever been before . Then came [his]_76-edward difficulties , and [her]_113-ellen conviction that [she]_113-ellen must save [him]_76-edward and keep [his]_76-edward secret . That [her]_113-ellen reason and [her]_113-ellen affection often urged [her]_113-ellen to confide all to [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} , certain that [she]_113-ellen would not harshly condemn [Edward]_76-edward , but would forgive and help [him]_76-edward far more effectually than [she]_113-ellen could ; but [she]_113-ellen dared not , for whenever [she]_113-ellen thought thus , the figure of [[her]_113-ellen mother]_{345-her mother} rose before [her]_113-ellen , seeming to reproach and threaten [her]_113-ellen for exposing [the child [she]_113-ellen so dearly loved]_{2957-the child she so dearly loved} to disgrace and ruin ; and this was so vivid — so constant during [his]_76-edward last appeal , that [she]_113-ellen thought [she]_113-ellen must be going mad ; that nothing but the dread of not being firm enough to keep [Edward]_76-edward 's secret , had withheld [her]_113-ellen from confessing [her]_113-ellen sin at once to [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} , especially when [[her]_113-ellen uncle]_{519-her uncle} had so solemnly denounced it as theft , and that when it was discovered it seemed actual relief , though it brought such severe punishment , for [she]_113-ellen knew no suffering for [her]_113-ellen could be too severe . The tale , as [Ellen]_113-ellen told it , was brief and simple enough , and that there was any merit in such a system of self - devotion never seemed to enter [her]_113-ellen mind for a moment ; but to [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} it revealed such an amount of suffering and trial , such a quiet , systematic , heroic endurance , that [she]_113-ellen unconsciously drew [that young delicate being]_{2960-that young delicate being} closer and closer to [her]_113-ellen , as if [her]_113-ellen love should protect [her]_113-ellen in future from any such trial ; and from what had it all sprung?—the misery of years , at a period when life should be so joyous and so free , that care and sorrow flee it as purely and too briefly happy to approach ? From a few thoughtless words , from [a thoughtless , partial mother , whose neglect and dislike had pronounced that disposition cold , unloving and inanimate whose nature was so fervid , so imaginative , that the utmost care]_{2961-a thoughtless , partial mother , whose neglect and dislike had pronounced that disposition cold , unloving and inanimate whose nature was so fervid , so imaginative , that the utmost care} should have been taken to prevent the entrance of a single thought or feeling too precocious , too solemn for [her]_113-ellen years . It may be urged , and with truth , that to [an ordinary child]_{2962-an ordinary child} the promise might have been forgotten , or heedlessly laid aside , without any harm accruing from it , but it was from not caring to know the real character of [the little being]_{2963-the little being} , for whose happiness and virtue [she]_113-ellen was responsible , that the whole mischief sprung ; and it is this neglect of maternal duty against which [we]_2964-we would so earnestly warn [those who may not have thought about it]_{2965-those who may not have thought about it} . It is not enough to educate the mind , to provide bodily necessaries , to be indulgent in the gift of pleasure and amusement , the heart must be won and taught ; and to do so with any hope of success , the character must be transparent as the day : and what difficulty , what hinderance , can there , or ought there to be , in obtaining this important knowledge to [a mother]_{3503-a mother} , from whose breast [the babe]_{2967-the babe} has received its nourishment , from whose arms it has gradually slipped away to feel [its]_{2967-the babe} own independence , from whose lips it has received [its]_{2967-the babe} first lessons , at whose knee lisped [its]_{2967-the babe} first prayer ? How comparatively trifling the care , how easy the task to learn the opening disposition and natural character , so as to guide with gentleness and love , and create happiness , not for childhood alone , though that is much , but for youth and maturity . All these thoughts passed though [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's mind as [she]_113-ellen listened to [[her]_113-ellen niece]_{372-her niece} , and looked at the pale , sweet face lifted up to [hers]_113-ellen in the earnestness of [her]_113-ellen simple tale , as if unconsciously appealing for [her]_113-ellen protection against the bewildering and contending feelings of [her]_113-ellen own young heart . How [she]_113-ellen was effectually to remove these impressions of years indeed [she]_113-ellen knew not ; [her]_113-ellen heart seemed to pray for guidance that peace might at length be [Ellen]_113-ellen 's portion , even as [she]_113-ellen heard . " [You]_113-ellen could scarcely have acted otherwise than [you]_113-ellen have always done toward [Edward]_76-edward , [[my]_113-ellen dear]_{3485-my dear} [Ellen]_113-ellen , under the influence of such a promise , "_[113-ellen] [she]_113-ellen said ; " [your]_113-ellen extreme youth , naturally enough , could not permit [you]_113-ellen to distinguish , whether it was called for by a mere impulse of feeling in [[your]_113-ellen poor mother]_{6065-your poor mother} , or really intended . But tell [me]_113-ellen , do [you]_113-ellen think it would give [me]_113-ellen any comfort or happiness if [I]_113-ellen could see [Emmeline]_78-emmeline act by [Percy]_99-percy as [you]_113-ellen have done by [Edward]_76-edward ? To see [her]_78-emmeline suffer pain and sorrow , and be led into error , too , sometimes , to conceal [Percy]_99-percy 's faults , and prevent [their]_6147-their removal , when , by the infliction of some trifling pain , it would save [his]_99-percy exposing [himself]_99-percy to greater ? "_[113-ellen] " But it seems so different with [[my]_113-ellen cousins]_{933-my cousins} , [aunt]_1460-aunt ; [they]_{933-my cousins} are [all such equals]_{6150-all such equals} . [I]_113-ellen can not fancy [Emmeline]_78-emmeline in [my]_113-ellen place . [You]_113-ellen have always loved [them]_{933-my cousins} all alike . "_[113-ellen] " And do [you]_113-ellen not think [a mother]_{3503-a mother} ought to do to , dearest ? "_[113-ellen] " But how can [she]_{3503-a mother} , if [they]_{933-my cousins} are not all equally deserving ? [I]_113-ellen was so different to [Edward]_76-edward : [he]_76-edward was so handsome and good , and so animated and happy ; and [I]_113-ellen was always fretful and ill , and [they]_{933-my cousins} said so often naughty ; and [he]_76-edward used to fondle [poor mamma]_{1458-poor mamma} , and show [his]_76-edward love , which [I]_113-ellen was afraid to do , though [I]_113-ellen did love [her]_{1458-poor mamma} so very much ( the tears started to [her]_{1458-poor mamma} eyes ) , so [I]_113-ellen could not help feeling [he]_76-edward must be much better than [I]_113-ellen was , just as [I]_113-ellen always feel all [[my]_113-ellen cousins]_{933-my cousins} are , and so it was no wonder poor mamma loved [him]_76-edward so much the best . "_[113-ellen] " Have [I]_{81-mrs. hamilton} ever made any difference between [Edward]_76-edward and [you]_113-ellen , [Ellen]_113-ellen ? "_{[81-mrs. hamilton]} asked [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , conquering , with no small effort , the emotion called forth by [Ellen]_113-ellen 's simple words . " Oh , no , no ! "_[113-ellen] and [she]_113-ellen clung to [her]_113-ellen in almost painful emotion . " But [you]_113-ellen are so good , so kind to every body ; [you]_113-ellen would love [me]_113-ellen , and be kind to [me]_113-ellen as [poor papa]_{1113-poor papa} was , because [nobody else]_{6155-nobody else} could . "_[113-ellen] [[My]_0-i dear]_{3485-my dear} [Ellen]_113-ellen , what can [I]_0-i do to remove these mistaken impressions ? [I]_0-i love [you]_113-ellen , and [[your]_113-ellen father]_{3470-your father} loved [you]_113-ellen , because [you]_113-ellen have qualities claiming [our]_2971-our love quite as powerfully as [[your]_113-ellen brother]_{3473-your brother} . [You]_113-ellen must not imagine because [you]_113-ellen may be less personally and mentally favored , that [you]_113-ellen are inferior to [him]_{3470-your father} , either in the sight of [[your]_113-ellen Heavenly Father]_{5788-your heavenly father} , or of [the friends and guardians [He]_{3470-your father} has given [you]_113-ellen]_{2974-the friends and guardians he has given you} . And even if such were the case , and [you]_113-ellen were as undeserving as [you]_113-ellen so wrongly imagine [yourself]_113-ellen , [my]_0-i duty , as that of [[your]_113-ellen mother]_{3462-your mother} , would be just the same . [A parent]_{451-a parent} does not love and guide [[her]_{451-a parent} children]_{322-her children} according to [their]_{322-her children} individual merits , [[my]_0-i dear]_{3485-my dear} [Ellen]_113-ellen , but according to the fountain of love which , to enable [her]_{451-a parent} to do [her]_{451-a parent} duty , [God]_85-god has so mercifully placed in [her]_{451-a parent} heart ; and therefore [those who have the least attractions and the most faults]_{2979-those who have the least attractions and the most faults} , demand the greater cherishing to supply the place of [the one]_{3691-the one} , and more careful guiding to overcome the other . Do [you]_113-ellen quite understand [me]_0-i , love . " [Ellen]_113-ellen 's earnest face , on which joy and hope seemed struggling with doubt , was sufficient answer . "_[113-ellen] [All mothers]_{2981-all mothers} do not think of [their]_{2981-all mothers} solemn responsibility in the same light ; and many causes — sad recollections and self - reproaches for [her]_{451-a parent} early life , and separation in coldness from [[her]_{451-a parent} father]_{435-her father} and [myself]_0-i , might all have tended to weaken [[your]_113-ellen mother]_{3462-your mother} 's consciousness of [her]_{451-a parent} duty , and so , without any fault in [yourself]_113-ellen , [[my]_0-i [Ellen]_113-ellen]_{1128-my ellen} , have occasioned [her]_{451-a parent} too great partiality for [Edward]_76-edward . But do [you]_113-ellen remember [her]_{451-a parent} last words ? " [Ellen]_113-ellen did remember them , and acknowledged they had so increased [her]_113-ellen affection for [[her]_113-ellen mother]_{345-her mother} , as to render the promise still more sacred to [her]_113-ellen . "_[113-ellen] [I]_0-i feared so , dearest ; but it is just the contrary effect which [they]_2985-they should have had . When [she]_{451-a parent} called [you]_113-ellen to [her]_{451-a parent} , and blessed and kissed [you]_113-ellen as fondly as [she]_{451-a parent} did [Edward]_76-edward , [she]_{451-a parent} said [she]_{451-a parent} had done [you]_113-ellen injustice , had failed in [her]_{451-a parent} duty to [you]_113-ellen , and it so grieved [her]_{451-a parent} , for it was too late to atone for it then ; [she]_{451-a parent} could only pray to [God]_85-god to raise [you]_113-ellen up [a kinder parent]_{3525-a kinder parent} . [I]_0-i have tried to be that , for [her]_{451-a parent} sake , as well as [your]_113-ellen own ; and will [you]_113-ellen not acknowledge , that if [she]_{451-a parent} had been spared to love and know [your]_113-ellen affection for [her]_{451-a parent} , [she]_{451-a parent} could no more have borne to see [you]_113-ellen suffer as [you]_113-ellen have done for [Edward]_76-edward , than [I]_0-i could [my]_0-i [Emmeline]_78-emmeline for [Percy]_99-percy ? Do [you]_113-ellen not think , when [she]_{451-a parent} had learned to feel as [I]_0-i do , which [she]_{451-a parent} had already begun to do , that [she]_{451-a parent} would have recalled that fatal promise , and entreated [you]_113-ellen not to act upon it ? What has it ever done but to make [you]_113-ellen to painfully suffer , lead [you]_113-ellen often into error , and confirm , by concealment , [Edward]_76-edward 's faults ? " [Ellen]_113-ellen 's tears were falling fast and freely , but they were hardly tears of pain . [[Her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} 's words seemed to disperse a thick mist from [her]_113-ellen brain and heart , and for the first time , to satisfy [her]_113-ellen that [she]_113-ellen might dismiss the painful memory of [her]_{367-her aunt} promise , and dismiss it without blame or disobedience to [[her]_113-ellen mother]_{345-her mother} . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had begun the conversation in trembling , for it seemed so difficult to accomplish [her]_{345-her mother} object without undue condemnation of [[her]_{345-her mother} sister]_{325-her sister} ; but as [Ellen]_113-ellen , clasping [her]_113-ellen arms about [her]_113-ellen neck , tried to thank [her]_{367-her aunt} again and again , for taking such a heavy load from [her]_113-ellen heart , saying that [she]_113-ellen would still help [Edward]_76-edward just the same , and [she]_113-ellen would try to guard [him]_76-edward and [herself]_113-ellen from doing wrong , that [[her]_113-ellen mother]_{345-her mother} should love [her]_113-ellen still , [she]_113-ellen felt [she]_113-ellen had succeeded , and silently , but how fervently , thanked [God]_85-god . "_[2987-you] But will [you]_2987-you tell [me]_0-i one thing , [aunt Emmeline]_78-emmeline ? Why , if the promise were mistaken , and [poor mamma]_{1458-poor mamma} would have wished it recalled , did [I]_0-i always seem to see [her]_{1458-poor mamma} so distinctly , and fancy [she]_{1458-poor mamma} so desired [me]_0-i to save [Edward]_76-edward from [[my]_0-i uncle]_{1463-my uncle} 's displeasure ? " "_{[1458-poor mamma]} Because [you]_2987-you have a very strong imagination , [[my]_0-i love]_{3456-my love} , increased by dwelling on this subject ; and in [your]_2987-you last trial [your]_2987-you mind was in such a fearful and unnatural state of excitement , that [your]_2987-you imagination became actually diseased . It was not at all surprising ; for [much older and stronger , and wiser persons]_{2991-much older and stronger , and wiser persons} would have experienced the same , under the same pressure of grief , and terror , and remorse . But what can [I]_0-i do to cure this morbid imagination , [Ellen]_113-ellen ? " [she]_0-i continued playfully ; "_[0-i] sentence [you]_113-ellen , as soon as [you]_113-ellen get well , to a course of mathematics , six hours each day ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i am afraid [my]_0-i poor head will be more stupid at figures than ever , " replied [Ellen]_113-ellen , trying to smile , too . "_[0-i] Then [I]_0-i suppose [I]_0-i must think of something else . Will [you]_2987-you follow [Emmeline]_78-emmeline 's example , and tell [me]_0-i every thing , however foolish or unfounded it may seem , that comes into this little head — whether it worries or pleases [you]_2987-you ? [You]_2987-you have nothing , and [you]_2987-you will have nothing ever again , [I]_0-i trust , to conceal from [me]_0-i , [[my]_0-i dear]_{3485-my dear} [Ellen]_113-ellen ; and if [you]_2987-you will do this , [you]_2987-you will give [me]_0-i more comfort individually , and more security for the furtherance of [your]_2987-you happiness , as far as [my]_0-i love can promote it , than any other plan . " [Her]_113-ellen playfulness had given place to renewed earnestness , and [Ellen]_113-ellen , as if in the very thought of such perfect confidence dwelt security and peace , so long unknown to [her]_113-ellen , gave the required assurance so eagerly and gratefully , that [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} was satisfied and happy . From that day , [Ellen]_113-ellen 's recovery , though a sad trial of patience both to [the young invalid]_{6161-the young invalid} and [[her]_113-ellen affectionate nurses]_{6162-her affectionate nurses} , was surely progressive , without any of those painful relapses which had so tried [Mr. Maitland]_{154-mr. maitland} 's skill before . [She]_113-ellen no longer shrunk from [the society of [[her]_113-ellen relations]_{3642-her relations}]_{6163-the society of her relations} , receiving [Caroline]_120-caroline 's and [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} 's many kind attentions with surprise indeed , for [she]_113-ellen could not imagine what could so have altered [their]_6165-their feelings toward [her]_113-ellen , but with that evident gratitude and pleasure , which encourages a continuance of kindness . [Emmeline]_78-emmeline was always kind , but it was indeed happiness to feel [she]_78-emmeline might talk with and share [her]_78-emmeline amusements , as in former days ; and that , instead of thinking [she]_78-emmeline ought not to receive [[her]_78-emmeline aunt]_{367-her aunt} 's affection , the only thing [she]_78-emmeline asked in return was [her]_78-emmeline full confidence . The inexpressible rest to [poor Ellen]_113-ellen which that conversation gave is not to be described . It was so blessed , so soothing , that it seemed too unnatural to last , and the secret dread that [[her]_78-emmeline uncle]_{519-her uncle} would not feel toward [her]_78-emmeline and [Edward]_76-edward as [[her]_78-emmeline aunt]_{367-her aunt} did was its only alloy . [Edward]_76-edward , too , was cheerful , and almost happy when with [her]_78-emmeline ; and a long conversation with [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} , which [that worthy man]_{6169-that worthy man} insisted upon having as soon as [she]_78-emmeline was strong enough , to remove the false impressions which [his]_{128-mr. howard} severity had given , and which never ceased to grieve and reproach [him]_{128-mr. howard} , caused [his]_{128-mr. howard} almost daily visits to be anticipated by [her]_78-emmeline with as much gladness as [they]_6170-they had before brought dread . "_{[81-mrs. hamilton]} And now that anxiety for [Ellen]_113-ellen is at end , [I]_0-i must have [you]_2993-you take more care of [yourself]_2993-you , [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} . [[Your]_2993-you husband]_{3454-your husband} 's last injunctions , were , that [I]_0-i should never pass a week without calling once or twice at [Oakwood]_12-oakwood to know how all was going on , and what would [he]_{3454-your husband} say to [me]_0-i if [he]_{3454-your husband} could see [you]_2993-you now ? " "_{[3454-your husband]} [He]_{3454-your husband} little thought how [my]_0-i strength would be tried , [[my]_0-i good friend]_{1650-my good friend} , and so will quite acquit [you]_2993-you . [I]_0-i assure [you]_2993-you that , physically , [I]_0-i am perfectly well"—(the [worthy doctor]_{6171-worthy doctor} shook [his]_{6171-worthy doctor} head most unbelievingly)—"but_[2993-you] even with one great anxiety calmed , there remains another , which every week increases . It is more than double the usual time of hearing from [[my]_0-i husband]_{3521-my husband} . [We]_2997-we have never had any answer to the letters detailing [Ellen]_113-ellen 's danger and [Edward]_76-edward 's return , and the answers have been due a full month . " "_[0-i] But the weather has been so unusually tempestuous , it may have been impossible for [the Siren]_{221-the siren} to ply to and fro from [Feroe]_54-feroe to [Scotland]_60-scotland , as [Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} wished , and [no ships]_{2998-no ships} are likely to touch at [those islands]_{2999-those islands} in the winter . [I]_0-i really think [you]_2993-you need not be anxious on that score ; none but [Arthur Hamilton]_{84-arthur hamilton} 's head could have contrived [your]_2993-you hearing as regularly from such an outlandish place as [you]_2993-you have done . No news is good news , depend upon it . [He]_{84-arthur hamilton} may be anxious on [your]_2993-you account , and returning [himself]_{84-arthur hamilton} . " "_{[84-arthur hamilton]} God forbid ! " answered [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , turning very pale ; "_{[84-arthur hamilton]} better the anxiety of not hearing from [him]_{84-arthur hamilton} than the thought of [his]_{84-arthur hamilton} being at [sea]_579-sea in this season . " [Oakwood]_12-oakwood had resumed its regular happy aspect , though [Ellen]_113-ellen was still up - stairs . [Morris]_134-morris and [Ellis]_135-ellis had once more the happiness of [[their]_6172-their beloved mistress]_{6173-their beloved mistress} 's superintendence , and proud were [they]_6172-their both , as if [Caroline]_120-caroline had been [[their]_6172-their own child]_{6174-their own child} , to show all [she]_120-caroline had done , and so unostentatiously , to save [[her]_120-caroline mother]_{345-her mother} trouble when [she]_120-caroline had been too anxious to think of any thing but [Ellen]_113-ellen ; and [the mother]_{458-the mother} 's heart swelled with a delicious feeling of gratitude to [Him]_{84-arthur hamilton} who , if in making [her]_{458-the mother} so acutely sensible of [her]_{458-the mother} solemn responsibility had deepened and extended anxiety , had yet in the same measure heightened and spiritualized joy . The fruit was indeed worth the nurture , though it might have been often washed with tears . Intensely anxious as [she]_{458-the mother} felt [herself]_{458-the mother} , as did also [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} and [Mr. Maitland]_{154-mr. maitland} , and , in fact , [all [Arthur Hamilton]_{84-arthur hamilton} 's friends]_{6177-all arthur hamilton 's friends} , [she]_{458-the mother} yet tried to sustain the spirits of [[her]_{458-the mother} children]_{322-her children} , for [the young men]_{4058-the young men} had evidently grown anxious on the subject too . It was not unlikely that the seas round [Feroe]_54-feroe , always stormy , should prevent [any ship]_{6180-any ship} leaving [the island]_{5594-the island} , and [the young people]_{4591-the young people} eagerly grasped the idea : so painful is it to [youth]_6183-youth to realize a cause for anxiety ; but even [they]_{4591-the young people} , at times , grew unconsciously sad and meditating , as the usually joyous season of Christmas and New Year passed , and still there was no letter . [Ellen]_113-ellen and [Edward]_76-edward both in secret dreaded the arrival of the answer to [the latter]_{608-the latter} 's confession ; but still [their]_{4591-the young people} affection for [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} was too powerful to permit any thought of self interfering with the wish that [her]_{458-the mother} anxiety might be calmed . In January the weather changed ; the tremendous winds gave place to an almost unnatural calm , and to such excessive mildness and closeness of atmosphere , that it affected the health of many who were strong , and not only made [Ellen]_113-ellen very languid , but frequently recalled those dreadful headaches which were in themselves an illness . [Business]_222-business called [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} to [Dartmouth]_48-dartmouth near the end of the month , and [he]_{128-mr. howard} prevailed on [Edward]_76-edward to accompany [him]_{128-mr. howard} , for whenever [[his]_{128-mr. howard} sister]_{561-his sister} was more than usually suffering [his]_{128-mr. howard} gloom redoubled . The first few days were so fine that the change renovated [him]_{128-mr. howard} ; [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} declared it was the sight of [old ocean]_{6186-old ocean} , and [Edward]_76-edward did not deny it ; for though it was good for the permanence of [his]_76-edward repentance and resolution to amend , to have the influence of [[his]_76-edward home]_{4084-his home} sufficiently long , [his]_76-edward spirit inwardly chafed at [his]_76-edward detention , and yearned to be at [sea]_579-sea again , and giving proof of [his]_76-edward determination to become indeed [a British sailor]_{6189-a british sailor} . The third day of [their]_6190-their visit , the lull and heaviness of the air increased so strangely and closely , for [January]_223-january , as to seem almost portentous . [Edward]_76-edward and [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} lingered on [the beach]_{6191-the beach} ; the well - practiced eye of [the former]_{313-the former} tracing in many little things unseen to [landsmen]_{1705-landsmen} , the slow , but sure approach of a fearful storm . "_{[84-arthur hamilton]} It is strange for the season , but there is certainly electricity in the air , " [he]_{128-mr. howard} said , directing [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} 's attention to ridges of white - fringed clouds floating under the heavens , whose murky hue was becoming denser and denser ; and ever and anon , as lashed by some as yet silent and invisible blast , [the ocean]_{6194-the ocean} heaved and foamed , and gave sure evidence of approaching fury ; "_[85-god] there will be , [I]_0-i fear , a terrible storm to - night ; and look at those birds " ( several sea - gulls were skimming along the waves almost bathing [their]_3001-their white plumage in the blackened waters ) "_[3001-their] strange how [they]_3001-their always herald tempest ! [Emmeline]_78-emmeline would call [them]_3001-their [spirits of the blast]_{3002-spirits of the blast} , reveling in the destruction it foretells ! " "_{[78-emmeline]} It is approaching already , " rejoined [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} , as a long hollow blast moaned and shivered round [them]_6190-their , followed by the roar of a mountainous wave bursting on [the beach]_{6191-the beach} . "_{[78-emmeline]} [God]_85-god have mercy on all exposed to its fury ! " and [he]_{128-mr. howard} gladly turned more inland , while [Edward]_76-edward remained watching its progress with an almost pleasurable feeling of excitement , only wishing [he]_76-edward could but be on [the sea]_{1714-the sea} , to enjoy it as such a storm deserved to be . As the day drew to a close it increased , and as darkness set in , its fury became appalling . Blasts , long and loud as the reverberation of artillery , succeeded one another with awful rapidity , tearing up huge trees by the roots , and tiles from the roofs . Now and then , at distant intervals , blue lightning played through the black heavens , betraying that thunder had mingled with the wind , though it was impossible to distinguish the one sound from the other ; and as the gusts passed onward , streaks of white and spots of strange unnatural blue gleamed through the gloom for a moment 's space , leaving deeper darkness as they disappeared . [The ocean]_{6194-the ocean} , lashed to wildest fury , rolled in huge mountains of troubled waters , throwing up showers of snowy foam , contrasting strangely with the darkness of earth and heaven , and bursting with a sound that deadened for the time even the wild roar of the blast . To read or even to converse , in [[their]_6190-their comfortable quarters in [the hotel]_{6199-the hotel} , which overlooked [the sea]_{1714-the sea}]_{6198-their comfortable quarters in the hotel , which overlooked the sea} , became as impossible to [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} as to [Edward]_76-edward . About eleven o'clock , however , the wind suddenly veered and lulled , only sending forth now and then a long sobbing wail , as if regretful that its work of destruction was even checked ; but [the sea]_{1714-the sea} raged with equal fury , presenting a spectacle as magnificent , as awful , and giving no appearance of a calm . A sharp report sounded suddenly from [the sea]_{1714-the sea} — whether it was the first , or that [others might have been lost in the tumult of the winds and waves]_{6203-others might have been lost in the tumult of the winds and waves} , who might answer ? Another , and another , at such rapid intervals , that the danger was evidently imminent , and [Edward]_76-edward started to [his]_76-edward feet . Again — and [he]_76-edward could bear it no longer . [Hurriedly]_{224-hurriedly} exclaiming , "_[3003-they] [They]_3003-they are signals of distress and close at hand ! Something must be done ; [no sailor]_{3004-no sailor} can sit still , and see [sailors]_5649-sailors perish ! " [he]_76-edward rushed to [the beach]_{6191-the beach} , closely followed by [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} , who was resolved on preventing any mad attempt . [Crowds of [fishermen]_{6206-fishermen} and [townsmen]_{6207-townsmen}]_{6205-crowds of fishermen and townsmen} had congregated on [the beach]_{6191-the beach} , drawn by that fearful sound , which , by the light from the guns seemed scarcely half a mile distant ; and yet so perilous was the present appearance of [the ocean]_{6194-the ocean} , that to go to [their]_3003-they assistance seemed impossible . Suddenly , however , [Edward]_76-edward 's voice exclaimed , with the glad and eager tone of perfect confidence , "_[3003-they] [They]_3003-they can be saved!—a [strong boat]_{3006-strong boat} and [two willing rowers]_{3007-two willing rowers} , and [I]_0-i will undertake to reach [the vessel]_{3847-the vessel} , and bring [the crew]_{5419-the crew} safe to [shore]_2851-shore . Who among [you]_3011-you , " [he]_76-edward continued turning eagerly to [the group of [hardy fishermen]_{6211-hardy fishermen}]_{6210-the group of hardy fishermen} , "_[3011-you] will be [[my]_0-i assistants]_{3012-my assistants} in this act of common humanity ? who possesses willing hearts and able hands , and will lend [them]_3003-they ? " "_{[3013-no one who cares for his life]} [No one who cares for [his]_{3013-no one who cares for his life} life]_{3013-no one who cares for his life} ! " was the sullen answer from [one of those [he]_76-edward addressed]_{6212-one of those he addressed} , and [the rest]_{4642-the rest} stood silent , eyeing , half disdainfully half admiringly , the slight figure of [the young sailor]_{5428-the young sailor} , revealed as it was , in the fitful light of the many torches scattered by [the various groups along [the beach]_{6191-the beach}]_{6215-the various groups along the beach} . "_{[3013-no one who cares for his life]} It is well for [boys]_3688-boys to talk , [we]_3015-we can not expect old heads on young shoulders ; but not [a boat with [my]_0-i consent]_{3016-a boat with my consent} leaves [the harbor]_{3017-the harbor} to - night ; it would be willful murder . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i tell [you]_3018-you [I]_0-i will stake [my]_0-i life on the venture , " answered [Edward]_76-edward , [his]_76-edward passion rising high . "_[0-i] Am [I]_0-i speaking to [sailors]_5649-sailors , and can [they]_5649-sailors hesitate when [they]_5649-sailors hear such sounds ? Give [me]_0-i but [a boat]_{3020-a boat} , and [I]_0-i will go by [myself]_0-i : and when [you]_3018-you need aid , may [you]_3018-you find [those to give it]_{3021-those to give it} ! [you]_3018-you will scarce dare ask it , if [that vessel]_{3022-that vessel} perish before [your]_3018-you eyes . Lend [me]_0-i [a boat]_{3020-a boat} , [I]_0-i say , fitted for such [a sea]_{3024-a sea} , and [the lender]_{3025-the lender} shall be rewarded handsomely . If there be such risk , [I]_0-i ask [none]_2189-none to share it ; [my]_0-i life is [my]_0-i own , and [I]_0-i will peril it . " It would have made a fine scene for [a painter]_{6217-a painter} , [that young , slight form and boyish face]_{6218-that young , slight form and boyish face} , surrounded by [those weather - beaten men]_{6219-those weather - beaten men} , every countenance expressing some different emotion , yet almost all unwilling admiration ; the torches ' glare , so lurid on the pitchy darkness ; the sheets of foam , rising and falling like showers of dazzling snow ; the craggy background ; and , out at [sea]_579-sea , [the unfortunate vessel]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} , a perfect wreck , struggling still with the fast - rising waters . [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} saw all , but with no thought of the picturesque , [his]_{128-mr. howard} mind was far otherwise engaged . "_[0-i] By [Neptune]_225-neptune ! but [your]_3018-you honor shall not go alone ! [I]_0-i have neither [parent]_3027-parent , nor [sister]_486-sister , nor [wife]_1890-wife to pipe for [me]_0-i , if [I]_0-i go ; so [my]_0-i life must be of less moment than [yours]_3018-you , and if [you]_3018-you can so peril it , why should not [I]_0-i ? " exclaimed [a stalwart young fisherman]_{6222-a stalwart young fisherman} , advancing , and [Edward]_76-edward eagerly grasped [his]_{6222-a stalwart young fisherman} rough hand , conjuring [him]_{6222-a stalwart young fisherman} to get [[his]_{6222-a stalwart young fisherman} boat]_{6223-his boat} at once , there was not a moment to lose ; but the example was infectious , and [an old man]_{6224-an old man} hastily stepped forward , declaring [the youngsters]_{6225-the youngsters} had taught [him]_{6224-an old man} [his]_{6224-an old man} duty , and [he]_{6224-an old man} would do it . "_[3030-they] Great God ! what do [they]_3030-they say ? " exclaimed [Edward]_76-edward , as [[his]_76-edward younger companion]_{6226-his younger companion} hastened down [the beach]_{6191-the beach} to bring [[his]_76-edward boat]_{6223-his boat} to the leeward of [the cliff]_{6229-the cliff} , to launch [it]_{6223-his boat} more securely , and a rumor ran through [the crowds]_{6230-the crowds} , whence arising it was impossible to discover . "_[3030-they] The Siren — [Captain Harvey]_{226-captain harvey} — [[my]_0-i uncle]_{1463-my uncle} 's ship!—and [he]_{226-captain harvey} must be in [her]_3032-her — [she]_3032-her would never leave [Feroe]_54-feroe without [him]_{226-captain harvey} . What foundation is there for this rumor ? let [me]_0-i know , for [God]_85-god 's sake ! " But [none]_2189-none could tell more than that [a vessel]_{6232-a vessel} , entering [the harbor]_{3017-the harbor} just before the gale , had hailed [the Siren]_{221-the siren} , about twenty miles distant , and [she]_3032-her seemed laboring heavily , and in such a distressed state that a very little would finish [her]_3032-her . Not a word escaped [Edward]_76-edward 's lips which grew for the moment blanched as marble . [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} [to whom the rumor had brought the most intense agony]_{6234-to whom the rumor had brought the most intense agony} , for not a doubt of its truth would come to relieve [him]_76-edward , was at [his]_76-edward side , grasping [his]_76-edward hand , and murmuring , hoarsely — "_[76-edward] [Edward]_76-edward , [[my]_0-i poor boy]_{1388-my poor boy} , must [your]_76-edward life be periled too?—both — both — this is awful ! " "_[0-i] Let [me]_0-i but save [him]_{1388-my poor boy} , and if [I]_0-i perish it will be in a good cause . Tell [aunt Emmeline]_78-emmeline , [I]_0-i know [she]_78-emmeline will comfort [[my]_0-i poor [Ellen]_113-ellen]_{869-my poor ellen} ; and that [the boy [she]_78-emmeline has saved from worse misery than death , did all [he]_{1388-my poor boy} could to save [[her]_78-emmeline husband]_{340-her husband}]_{3035-the boy she has saved from worse misery than death , did all he could to save her husband} ! and if [I]_0-i fail"—he stopped , in strong emotion , then added—"give_[113-ellen] [Ellen]_113-ellen this , and this , " [he]_{340-her husband} cut off a lock of [his]_{340-her husband} hair with [his]_{340-her husband} dirk , and placed it and [his]_{340-her husband} watch in [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} 's trembling hand.—"And_[113-ellen] now , [[my]_0-i friend]_{1095-my friend} , [God]_85-god bless [you]_{1095-my friend} and reward [you]_{1095-my friend} , too ! " [He]_{340-her husband} threw [himself]_{340-her husband} a moment in [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} 's arms , kissed [his]_{128-mr. howard} cheek , and , darting down [the beach]_{6191-the beach} , leaped into [the boat]_{6049-the boat} , which was dancing like a nutshell on [the water]_{2768-the water} . It was several minutes , ere [they]_6238-they could succeed in getting [her]_113-ellen off , the waves seeming determined to cast [her]_113-ellen back ; but [they]_6238-they were fairly launched at length , and then [they]_6238-they heeded not that one minute [they]_6238-they rode high on a mountain wave , seeming as if nothing could save [them]_6238-they from being dashed in [the abyss below]_{6239-the abyss below} ; the next were buried in [a deep valley]_{6240-a deep valley} , surrounded by huge walls of water , threatening to burst and overwhelm [them]_6238-they . For [a boat]_{3020-a boat} to live in [such a sea]_{6242-such a sea} at all seemed miraculous ; and [old Collins]_{227-old collins} always declared that unless [some angel]_{6243-some angel} sat at the helm with [Edward]_76-edward , [no human arm]_{6244-no human arm} could have taken [them]_6238-they in safety . If it were [an angel]_{6245-an angel} , it was the pure thought , the faith - winged prayer , that [he]_76-edward might be the instrument in [the Eternal]_{6246-the eternal} 's hand , of turning aside death and misery from that beloved home , in which even [his]_76-edward errors had been met with love , and conquered by forgiveness . With every effort , and [they]_6238-they were such as to bid the perspiration stream down the face and arms of [those strong men]_{6247-those strong men} , and almost exhaust [Edward]_76-edward , for [he]_76-edward took an oar in turn , it was full an hour from [their]_6238-they leaving [the shore]_{6047-the shore} before [they]_6238-they reached [the ship]_{5641-the ship} . [She]_{5641-the ship} had ceased firing , for by the lights on [shore]_2851-shore [they]_6238-they had discovered [the boat]_{6049-the boat} 's departure , and watched [her]_{5641-the ship} progress by the lantern at [her]_{5641-the ship} head , as only [those can watch who feel , one short hour more]_{6252-those can watch who feel , one short hour more} , and [[their]_6238-they ship]_{5570-their ship} will float no longer ! [Collins]_{227-old collins} was spokesman , for [Edward]_76-edward , as [they]_6238-they grappled [the boat]_{6049-the boat} alongside , had sunk down for the moment powerless by the helm ; roused , however , effectually by the answer — "_{[2097-the siren]} [The Siren]_{2097-the siren} — bound to [Dartmouth]_48-dartmouth — from [Feroe]_54-feroe — owner [Arthur Hamilton]_{84-arthur hamilton} , [passenger]_{3039-passenger} — now on board — [nine in crew]_{3040-nine in crew} . " "_{[3040-nine in crew]} In with [you]_3041-you all then — that is [Captain Harvey]_{226-captain harvey} 's voice , [I]_0-i 'll be sworn ; the rumor was only too true . " "_{[226-captain harvey]} Ay , [old Collins]_{227-old collins} ! " returned [the captain]_{3793-the captain} ; "_{[227-old collins]} [we]_3042-we thought to perish in sight of [[our]_3042-we own homes]_{3043-our own homes} ; now , [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , not [a man]_{5424-a man} will stir till [you]_3041-you are safe ! " [[His]_{3793-the captain} companion]_{4392-his companion} leaped into [the boat]_{6049-the boat} without reply , and , sinking on one of the benches , drew [his]_{4392-his companion} cloak closely round [his]_{4392-his companion} face . Peril was indeed still around [him]_{4392-his companion} , but compared with the — even to that Heaven - directed heart — terrible struggle of beholding death , rising slowly but surely round [him]_{4392-his companion} in the water - filling ship , almost within sight and sound of [[his]_{4392-his companion} home]_{4084-his home} , [[his]_{4392-his companion} beloved ones]_{6259-his beloved ones} , the mere hope of life seemed almost overpowering . [The crew of [the hapless Siren]_{221-the siren}]_{6260-the crew of the hapless siren} quickly deserted [her]_{221-the siren} . [Captain Harvey]_{226-captain harvey} was the last to descend , and , as [he]_{226-captain harvey} did so , a block of iron , loosened from its place , fell cornerwise , and struck sharply on [Edward]_76-edward 's forehead , almost stunning [him]_76-edward for the moment , as [he]_76-edward watched [the captain]_{3793-the captain} 's descent . [He]_76-edward felt the blood slowly trickling down [his]_76-edward temple and cheek ; but [he]_76-edward was [not one to be daunted by pain]_{6262-not one to be daunted by pain} : [he]_76-edward resumed [his]_76-edward station at the helm in unbroken silence , only speaking when directions were absolutely necessary , and then only in a few brief sailor - terms . [They]_{6260-the crew of the hapless siren} had scarcely proceeded a third of [their]_{6260-the crew of the hapless siren} way , when [the waters]_{6263-the waters} boiled and foamed as tossed by some strange whirlpool , and it required all [Edward]_76-edward 's address and skill as [steersman]_{6264-steersman} to prevent [the frail boat]_{6265-the frail boat} from being drawn into the vortex . The cause was soon displayed , and every heart shuddered , for ten minutes later , and help would indeed have been in vain . [The unfortunate vessel]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} had sunk — been swallowed up in those rushing waters ; the suction of [so large a mass , producing for a brief interval the effect of a whirlpool]_{6267-so large a mass , producing for a brief interval the effect of a whirlpool} . The silence of awe and of intense thankfulness , fell on the heart of [every man]_{6268-every man} , and more than all on [his]_76-edward , who had so far recovered [his]_76-edward first emotion as to gaze wonderingly and admiringly on [the boyish figure at the helm , whose voice was utterly unknown , and whose features the fitful light]_{6269-the boyish figure at the helm , whose voice was utterly unknown , and whose features the fitful light} , and [the youth]_{6270-the youth} 's steadfast gaze on [[his]_76-edward rowers]_{6271-his rowers} , prevented [his]_76-edward tracing with any certainty . [The crowds]_{6230-the crowds} had increased on [the shore]_{6047-the shore} , watching with intense eagerness the return of [the boat]_{6049-the boat} ; but the expectation was too deep for sound , silence almost portentous reigned . [A huge sea]_{6275-a huge sea} had concealed [her]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} for several minutes , and [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} , who during these two long hours had remained spell - bound on [the beach]_{6191-the beach} , groaned aloud in [his]_{128-mr. howard} agony ; again [she]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} was visible , driven on with fearful velocity by the tide , nearer , nearer still . [He]_{128-mr. howard} thought [he]_{128-mr. howard} could distinguish the figure of [[his]_{128-mr. howard} friend]_{4617-his friend} : [he]_{128-mr. howard} was sure [he]_{128-mr. howard} could hear the voice of [Edward]_76-edward , urging , commanding , directing a landing somewhere , in contradiction to the opinion of [others]_756-others . [They]_6279-they were within a dozen yards of [the shore]_{6047-the shore} , but still not a sound of gratulation was heard . Every eye was fixed , as in the fascination of terror , on a wave in the distance , increasing in size and fury as it rapidly approached . [It]_6281-it neared [the boat]_{6049-the boat} — it stood impending over [the frail thing as a mighty avalanche of waters]_{6283-the frail thing as a mighty avalanche of waters} — [it]_6281-it burst ; [the boat]_{6049-the boat} was seen no longer , and a wild and terrible cry sounded far and near along [the beach]_{6191-the beach} ! The whole of the day [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had vainly tried to shake off a most unwonted gloom . Convinced [herself]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} that it was greatly physical , from the unusual oppressiveness of the weather relaxing the nerves , which had so many months been overstrained , yet [her]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} thoughts would cling to [Mr. Maitland]_{154-mr. maitland} 's words , that [[her]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} husband]_{340-her husband} might be coming [home]_563-home [himself]_{340-her husband} ; but if the accounts of [Ellen]_113-ellen 's danger and [Edward]_76-edward 's confession had recalled [him]_{340-her husband} , [he]_{340-her husband} ought to have arrived full two or three weeks previous . The gale that swept round [her]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} — the awful and unnatural darkness — the remarkable phenomena , at that season , of lightning — and the long , loud thunder - claps[4 ] which inland could be fearfully distinguished from the gale , appalled [the whole household]_{2194-the whole household} ; and therefore it was not much wonder that the vague idea of [[her]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} husband]_{340-her husband} 's having left [Feroe]_54-feroe , and exposure to such a tempest , should become in that fearful anxiety almost a certainty of agony . It was well , perhaps , that [her]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} unselfish nature had an object to draw [her]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} in some slight degree out of [herself]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} , for [her]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} firmness , [her]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} trust beyond the accidents of earth , all seemed about to fail [her]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} , and make [her]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} for the time being most wretched . As the storm and closeness increased , so did [Ellen]_113-ellen 's feverish restlessness ; [her]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} nerves , not yet fully restored , felt strung almost to torture with every flash , and clap , and blast . [She]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} tried to laugh at [her]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} own folly ; for , though often terrified , when [a little child]_{6290-a little child} , at the storms in [India]_7-india , those of [England]_10-england had never affected [her]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} at all , and [she]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} could not understand why [she]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} should feel this so childishly . But argument is of little moment in such cases ; and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , satisfying [her]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} that [she]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} could no more help [her]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} present sensation than [her]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} physical weakness , tried to soothe and amuse [her]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} , and in so doing partially cheered [herself]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} . [She]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} did not leave [her]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} till past midnight ; and then desiring [Mrs. Langford]_{204-mrs. langford} to sit up with [her]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} till [she]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} was comfortably asleep , retired to [[her]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} own bed - room]_{6291-her own bed - room} . Never since [[her]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} husband]_{340-her husband} 's absence had its solitude felt so vast — so heavily oppressive ; thought after thought of [him]_{340-her husband} thronged [her]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} mind till [she]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} fairly gave up the effort to struggle with them . "_[3045-his] Will [his]_3045-his voice ever sound here again , [his]_3045-his heart give [me]_0-i the support [I]_0-i need ? " rose to [her]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} lips , as [she]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} gazed round [her]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} , and the deep stillness , the gloom only broken by a small silver lamp , and the fitful light of the fire , seemed but a solemn answer . [She]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} buried [her]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} face in [her]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} clasped hands , and the clock struck two before that inward conflict permitted [her]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} once more to lift up heart and brow in meek , trusting faith to [[Him]_{340-her husband} who still watched over [her]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} and [her]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} beloved ones]_{6293-him who still watched over her and her beloved ones} ; and after an earnest , voiceless prayer , [she]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} drew [her]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} little table , with its books of devotion , to the fire , and read thoughtfully , prayerfully , for another hour , and then sought [her]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} couch . But [she]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} could not sleep ; the wind had again arisen , and fearing to lie awake and listen to it would only renew [her]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} unusual agitation , [she]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} rose at four , dressed [herself]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} , and throwing on a large shawl , softly traversed [the passage]_{4837-the passage} , and entered [[[her]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} niece]_{372-her niece} 's room]_{5715-her niece 's room} ; finding [her]_{372-her niece} , as [she]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} fully expected , as wakeful and restless as [herself]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} , with the addition of an intense headache . [She]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} had persuaded [nurse Langford]_{204-mrs. langford} to go to bed , but the pain had come on since then , and made [her]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} more restless and feverish than before . [She]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} could not lie in any posture to get ease , till at last , about six o'clock , completely exhausted , [she]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} fell asleep , sitting almost upright in [[her]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} aunt]_{367-her aunt} 's arms , [her]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} head leaning against [her]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} , as [she]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} stood by the bedside . Fearing to disturb [her]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} , [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} would not move , desiring the morning prayers to be said without [her]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} , and [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} and [[her]_{112-miss harcourt} daughters]_{533-her daughters} not to wait breakfast , as [she]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} would have it with [Ellen]_113-ellen when [she]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} awoke . That [she]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} was stiff and exhausted with three hours ' standing in one position , [she]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} did not heed , perhaps scarcely felt , for [woman]_1915-woman 's loveliest attribute , that of [a tender and utterly unselfish nurse]_{6300-a tender and utterly unselfish nurse} , was [hers]_1915-woman to perfection . But [she]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} did not refuse the cup of chocolate [Caroline]_120-caroline brought [her]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} [herself]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} , and with affectionate earnestness entreated [her]_{6221-the unfortunate vessel} to take . "_[3045-his] [You]_3046-your look so fatigued and so pale , [dearest mother]_{1229-dearest mother} , [I]_0-i wish [you]_3046-your would let [me]_0-i take [your]_3046-your place ; [I]_0-i would be so quiet , so gentle , [Ellen]_113-ellen would not even know [her]_113-ellen change of [nurses]_4549-nurses . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i do not doubt [your]_3046-your care , love , but [I]_0-i fear the least movement will disturb [this poor child]_{5988-this poor child} , and [she]_{5988-this poor child} has had such a restless night , [I]_0-i want [her]_{5988-this poor child} to sleep as long as [she]_{5988-this poor child} can . [Your]_3046-your thoughtful care has so refreshed [me]_0-i , that [I]_0-i feel quite strong again , so go and finish [your]_3046-your breakfast in comfort , dearest . " [Caroline]_120-caroline very unwillingly obeyed , and about a quarter of an hour afterward , [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} was startled by the sound of [a carriage]_{3440-a carriage} advancing with unusual velocity to [the house]_{3775-the house} . It stopped at the main entrance , and [she]_120-caroline had scarcely time to wonder [who could be such very early visitors]_{6303-who could be such very early visitors} , when a loud scream , in the voice of [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , rung in [her]_120-caroline ears ; whether of joy or grief [she]_120-caroline could not distinguish , but it was the voice of [[her]_120-caroline child]_{350-her child} , and the already tortured nerves of [the wife]_{6305-the wife} and [mother]_3430-mother could not bear it without a sensation of terror , amounting to absolute agony . [She]_120-caroline laid [Ellen]_113-ellen 's head tenderly on the pillow , watched over [her]_113-ellen , though [her]_113-ellen limbs so trembled [she]_113-ellen could scarcely support [herself]_113-ellen , saw with intense relief that the movement had not disturbed [her]_113-ellen quiet sleep , and calling [Mrs. Langford]_{204-mrs. langford} from [an adjoining room]_{6307-an adjoining room} , hastily descended the stairs , though how [she]_120-caroline did so , and entered [the breakfast - room]_{1147-the breakfast - room} , [she]_120-caroline always said [she]_120-caroline never knew . Many and eager and glad voices were speaking at once ; [the very servants]_{6309-the very servants} thronged [the hall]_{836-the hall} and threshold of [the room]_{356-the room} , but all made way for [her]_120-caroline . "_[3046-your] [Arthur!—my husband]_{3050-arthur!—my husband} ! " [she]_120-caroline did find voice to exclaim , but every object but [his]_{3050-arthur!—my husband} figure reeled before [her]_120-caroline , and [she]_120-caroline fainted in [his]_{3050-arthur!—my husband} arms . It was some time before [she]_120-caroline recovered , for mind and frame had been too long overtasked ; and [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , as [he]_{3050-arthur!—my husband} clasped [her]_120-caroline in [his]_{3050-arthur!—my husband} arms , beseeching [her]_120-caroline only to speak to [him]_{3050-arthur!—my husband} , and gazed on [her]_120-caroline deathlike countenance , felt in a moment that great as [his]_{3050-arthur!—my husband} anxiety had been for [her]_120-caroline , [he]_{3050-arthur!—my husband} had not imagined one - half [she]_120-caroline had endured . [His]_{3050-arthur!—my husband} voice — [his]_{3050-arthur!—my husband} kiss — seemed to rouse the scattered senses , even more effectually than [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} 's anxiously proffered remedies ; but [she]_120-caroline could not speak , [she]_120-caroline only looked up in [his]_{3050-arthur!—my husband} face , as if to be quite , quite sure [he]_{3050-arthur!—my husband} had indeed returned ; that [her]_120-caroline vague fancies of danger , even if they had foundation , had merged in the most blissful reality , that [she]_120-caroline was no longer alone ; and leaning [her]_120-caroline head on [his]_{3050-arthur!—my husband} bosom , was only conscious of a thankfulness too deep for words ; a repose that , since [his]_{3050-arthur!—my husband} departure , [she]_120-caroline had not known for a single day . Neither [she]_120-caroline nor [[her]_120-caroline husband]_{340-her husband} could believe that it was only six months since [they]_6313-they had been separated . It seemed , and to [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} especially , as if [she]_120-caroline must have lived through years in that time , it had been so fraught with sorrow . "_[3046-your] Not one word , [[my]_0-i own dearest]_{3051-my own dearest} ! and only these pallid cheeks and heavy eyes to greet [me]_0-i . Must [I]_0-i reproach [you]_{3051-my own dearest} directly [I]_0-i come [home]_563-home , for , as usual , not thinking enough of [yourself]_{3051-my own dearest} ; forgetting how precious is that self to so many , [[your]_{3051-my own dearest} husband]_{3454-your husband} above all ? " "_[3546-papa] Nay , [papa]_3546-papa , [you]_3546-papa shall not scold [mamma]_3420-mamma , " said [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , eagerly , as [[her]_78-emmeline mother]_{345-her mother} tried to smile and speak in answer . "_[3420-mamma] [She]_3420-mamma ought to scold [you]_{3051-my own dearest} , for not sending [us]_3056-us one line to prepare [us]_3056-us for [your]_{3051-my own dearest} unexpected presence , and frightening [us]_3056-us all by coming so suddenly upon [us]_3056-us , and making [mamma]_80-mamma faint , as [I]_0-i never saw [her]_80-mamma do before . Indeed [I]_0-i do not like it , [mother darling]_{3057-mother darling} ! " continued [the affectionate girl]_{6315-the affectionate girl} , kneeling down by [[her]_78-emmeline mother]_{345-her mother} , and clinging to [her]_{345-her mother} , adding , in a suppressed , terrified voice , "_[0-i] It was so like death . " [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} read in a moment that [Emmeline]_78-emmeline 's playfulness was only assumed to hide strong emotion ; that [she]_78-emmeline was trying very hard for complete control , but so trembling , that [she]_78-emmeline knelt down , literally because [she]_78-emmeline could not stand . It was such a proof of [her]_78-emmeline endeavor to profit by [[her]_78-emmeline mother]_{345-her mother} 's gentle lessons , that even at that moment it not only gave [her]_78-emmeline the sweetest gratification , but helped [her]_78-emmeline to rouse [herself]_78-emmeline . "_[0-i] Indeed , [I]_0-i think [you]_3058-you are perfectly right , [Emmy]_121-emmy , " [she]_0-i said , quite in [her]_0-i usual voice , as [she]_0-i pressed [[her]_0-i child]_{350-her child} a moment to [her]_0-i , and kissed [her]_121-emmy cheek , which was almost as pale as [her]_0-i own . "_[3058-you] [I]_0-i will not submit to any scolding , when [papa]_3546-papa [himself]_3546-papa is answerable for [my]_0-i unusual weakness ; but as [we]_3060-we wanted [him]_3546-papa so very much , why , [we]_3060-we will be lenient with [him]_3546-papa , and only keep [him]_3546-papa prisoner with [us]_3060-we for some time to come . But get [him]_3546-papa breakfast quickly , [Caroline]_120-caroline , [love]_1084-love ; [such an early visitor]_{3062-such an early visitor} must want it . When did [you]_3546-papa arrive , [dearest Arthur]_{84-arthur hamilton} ? " [she]_120-caroline added , looking earnestly in [his]_3546-papa face , and half wondering at the expression upon it , it seemed to speak so many things ; "_[3546-papa] surely not this morning ? [You]_3546-papa were not at [sea]_579-sea in yesterday 's awful storm ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i was indeed , [[my]_0-i Emmeline]_{1674-my emmeline} ; can [you]_3546-papa bear to hear it , or have [you]_3546-papa been agitated enough already ? [I]_0-i have been in danger , great danger , but [[our]_3060-we Father]_{1098-our father} 's infinite mercy has preserved [me]_0-i to [you]_3546-papa all , making the instrument of [my]_0-i preservation so young [a lad]_{3905-a lad} and slight a frame , [I]_0-i know not how sufficiently to bless [God]_85-god , or to thank [[my]_0-i preserver]_{3067-my preserver} . " [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's hand closed convulsively on [[her]_6319-her husband]_{340-her husband} 's ; [her]_6319-her eyes riveted on [his]_{340-her husband} countenance as if [she]_6319-her would grasp [his]_{340-her husband} whole meaning at once , but little did [she]_6319-her guess the whole . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i did not come alone , " [he]_{340-her husband} added , striving for composure , and even playfulness , "_[0-i] though it seems [I]_0-i was such [an important personage]_{885-an important personage} , as to be [the only one seen or thought about]_{3069-the only one seen or thought about} . " "_[0-i] By - the - by , [I]_0-i did see , or fancied [I]_0-i saw , [Edward]_76-edward , " rejoined [Caroline]_120-caroline , who , at the news of [[her]_120-caroline father]_{435-her father} having been in danger , had left the breakfast - table , unable to keep away from [him]_{340-her husband} , even that short distance , but neither [she]_120-caroline , nor either of [the others]_{4295-the others} , connecting [[her]_120-caroline cousin]_{4159-her cousin} with [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's words , and not quite understanding why [he]_{340-her husband} should have so interrupted the most interesting subject . "_[76-edward] [He]_76-edward has gone to see [Ellen]_113-ellen , [I]_0-i suppose , and so [we]_3070-we have missed [him]_76-edward . Was [he]_76-edward [[your]_0-i companion]_{3071-your companion} , [papa]_3546-papa ? How and where did [you]_0-i meet [him]_76-edward ? " "_[76-edward] Let [him]_76-edward answer for [himself]_76-edward ! " replied [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , still determinately hiding [his]_{340-her husband} feelings under a tone and manner of jest , and leaving [[his]_{340-her husband} wife]_{521-his wife} 's side for a moment , [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} drew [Edward]_76-edward from the recess of the window , where all this time [he]_76-edward had been standing quite unobserved , and led [him]_76-edward forward . "_[76-edward] Good heavens ! [Edward]_76-edward , what have [you]_76-edward been about ? " exclaimed [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} , and [her]_{112-miss harcourt} exclamation was echoed by [Caroline]_120-caroline and [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , while [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} gazed at [him]_76-edward in bewildered alarm . [He]_76-edward was deadly pale , with every appearance of exhaustion , and a most disfiguring patch on [his]_76-edward left brow , which [he]_76-edward had tried in vain to hide with [his]_76-edward hair . "_[76-edward] [You]_76-edward have been fighting . " "_[76-edward] Only with the elements , [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} , and [they]_3073-they have rather tired [me]_0-i , that is all ; [I]_0-i shall be well in a day or two . Do n't look so terrified , [dear aunt]_{3449-dear aunt} , " [he]_76-edward answered , with the same attempt at jest as [[his]_76-edward uncle]_{443-his uncle} , and throwing [himself]_76-edward lightly on an ottoman by [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , [he]_76-edward laid [his]_76-edward head very quietly on [her]_{3449-dear aunt} lap . "_{[3449-dear aunt]} Fighting — and with the elements ? [Arthur]_{84-arthur hamilton} , dearest [Arthur]_{84-arthur hamilton} , for pity 's sake tell [me]_0-i the whole truth at once ; it can not be — " "_{[84-arthur hamilton]} And why should it not , [[my]_0-i beloved]_{2073-my beloved} ? " ( there was no attempt at jest now ) . "_[3076-he] [He]_3076-he to whom [your]_76-edward care has preserved [a sister]_{3077-a sister} — whom [your]_76-edward indulgent love has given courage to resolve that error shall be conquered , and [he]_3076-he will become all [we]_3078-we can wish [him]_3076-he — whom [you]_76-edward took to [your]_76-edward heart and [home]_563-home when motherless — [God]_85-god has mercifully made the instrument of saving [[your]_76-edward husband]_{3454-your husband} from a watery grave , and giving back [[their]_3081-their father]_{965-their father} to [[your]_76-edward children]_{3504-your children} ! " "_[85-god] To be associated in [your]_76-edward heart with other thoughts than those of ingratitude , and cruelty , and sin ! Oh , [aunt Emmeline]_78-emmeline , [I]_0-i can not thank [God]_85-god enough for permitting [me]_0-i this great mercy , " were the only words poor [Edward]_76-edward could speak , when the first intensity of [[his]_76-edward aunt]_{365-his aunt} 's emotion was in some degree conquered , and [she]_{365-his aunt} could look in [his]_76-edward young face , though [her]_{365-his aunt} eyes were almost blinded with tears , and putting back the bright hair which the rain and spray had so uncurled , as to lay heavy and damp upon [his]_76-edward pale forehead , [she]_{365-his aunt} imprinted a long , silent kiss upon it , and looking alternately at [him]_76-edward and [[her]_{365-his aunt} husband]_{340-her husband} , seemed powerless to realize any other thought . [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} briefly , but most eloquently , narrated the events of the previous night , dwelling only sufficiently on [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} imminent peril , to evince the real importance of [Edward]_76-edward 's extraordinary exertions , not to harrow the feelings of [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} listeners]_{6328-his listeners} more than need be . That [the young officer]_{6329-the young officer} 's determined opposition to the almost angrily expressed opinions of [Captain Harvey]_{226-captain harvey} and [old Collins]_{227-old collins} as to [the better landing - place]_{6330-the better landing - place} , had saved [them]_6331-they from the effects of the huge wave , which had burst like a water - spout a minute after [they]_6331-they had all leaped in safety on [shore]_2851-shore , almost overwhelming the projecting sand to which [Collins]_{227-old collins} had wished to direct [the boat]_{6049-the boat} , and so proving at once [Edward]_76-edward 's far superior nautical knowledge , for had [they]_6331-they steered there , the frail bark must inevitably have been upset , and [its crew]_{6334-its crew} washed by the receding torrent back to [sea]_579-sea . [Harvey]_{226-captain harvey} and [Collins]_{227-old collins} acknowledged [their]_6331-they error at once , and looked eagerly for [Edward]_76-edward to say so to [him]_76-edward , but [he]_76-edward had vanished the moment [they]_6331-they had achieved [a safe landing]_{6336-a safe landing} , to [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's annoyance , for [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had not the least suspicion who [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} was , and only longed to express , if [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} could not otherwise evince [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} gratitude , [Collins]_{227-old collins} and [Grey]_{228-william grey} refusing the smallest credit , declaring that if it had not been for [this young stranger officer]_{6337-this young stranger officer} , of whom [they]_6331-they knew nothing , not even [his]_76-edward name , [not a man]_{6338-not a man} would have stirred ; that for [any fisherman]_{6339-any fisherman} or [mere ordinary sailor]_{6340-mere ordinary sailor} to have guided [the boat]_{6049-the boat} to and from [the sinking vessel]_{6342-the sinking vessel} , in such a sea , was so impossible , that [no one]_{3540-no one} would have attempted it ; [old Collins]_{227-old collins} ending , with the superstition of [[his]_76-edward class]_{6344-his class} , by a declaration , that [his]_76-edward disappearance convinced [his]_76-edward already more than suspicion , that it was [some good angel]_{6345-some good angel} in [a boy]_{3842-a boy} 's likeness ; for [Arthur Hamilton]_{84-arthur hamilton} would never have been permitted so to perish : an explanation , [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} added , laughingly , that might suit [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} Emmy , but was rather too fanciful for [him]_{81-mrs. hamilton} . However , [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} young preserver]_{6347-his young preserver} was nowhere to be found , but , to [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} extreme astonishment , and no little relief ( for now that [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} was so near [home]_563-home , [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} anxiety to hear of all , especially [Ellen]_113-ellen , whom [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} scarcely dared hope to find alive , became insupportable ) , [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} suddenly stood before [him]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , grasping both [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} hands , without the power , for a minute or two , to speak . [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} overwhelmed [him]_{81-mrs. hamilton} with questions , scarcely giving [him]_{81-mrs. hamilton} time to answer one before [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} asked another . [They]_3085-our had nearly reached [the hotel]_{6199-the hotel} , when [Captain Harvey]_{226-captain harvey} 's bluff voice was heard exclaiming — "_[0-i] Here [he]_3084-he is , [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} ; [he]_3084-he is too exhausted to escape [our]_3085-our thanks and blessings now . What could [the youngster]_{3086-the youngster} have tried to hide [himself]_3084-he for ? " But before [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} could make any rejoinder , save to grasp [the young man]_{757-the young man} 's hands strongly in [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} own , [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} said , eagerly — "_{[226-captain harvey]} Oblige [me]_0-i , [Captain Harvey]_{226-captain harvey} ; take [that boy]_{1315-that boy} into [[our]_3085-our hotel]_{3088-our hotel} , it is only just round the corner ; make [him]_{1315-that boy} take off [his]_{1315-that boy} dripping jacket , and give [him]_{1315-that boy} some of [[your]_{81-mrs. hamilton} sailor]_{3089-your sailor} 's stuff . [He]_{1315-that boy} is not quite strong enough for [his]_{1315-that boy} exertions to - night , and should rest at once . " [Captain Harvey]_{226-captain harvey} bore [him]_{1315-that boy} off , almost carrying [him]_{1315-that boy} , for exertion and a variety of emotions had rendered [him]_{1315-that boy} faint and powerless . "_[0-i] Do [you]_0-i know [him]_{1315-that boy} , [Howard]_{128-mr. howard} ? who and what is [he]_{1315-that boy} ? " But [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} did not , perhaps could not reply , but hurried [[his]_{128-mr. howard} friend]_{4617-his friend} on to [the hotel]_{6199-the hotel} ; and entered [the room]_{356-the room} , where , having called for lights , and all the ingredients of grog - punch , which [he]_{128-mr. howard} vowed [the boy]_{290-the boy} should have instead of the brandy and water [he]_{128-mr. howard} had called for , [they]_6355-they found [Edward]_76-edward trying to laugh , and protesting against all coddling ; [he]_{128-mr. howard} was perfectly well , and [he]_{128-mr. howard} would not go to bed , and could not imagine what right [Captain Harvey]_{226-captain harvey} had to be [a sailor]_{3421-a sailor} , if [he]_{226-captain harvey} thought so much of a storm , and a blow , and a wetting . "_{[1315-that boy]} Nor should [I]_0-i , if [you]_0-i were sailor - rigged ; but what business have [you]_0-i with this overgrown mast of a figure , and a face pale and delicate as [a woman]_{769-a woman} 's ? " And so like [[his]_{290-the boy} dying mother]_{6357-his dying mother} it was , that [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} stood for a moment on the threshold , completely stupefied . [We]_6355-they leave [[our]_6355-they readers]_{524-our readers} to imagine the rest ; and how [Captain Harvey]_{226-captain harvey} carried the seemingly marvelous news that [the brave young officer]_{6359-the brave young officer} was [[Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's own nephew]_{6360-mr. hamilton 's own nephew} , over [the town]_{4437-the town} , and in [[every fisherman]_{6362-every fisherman} 's hut]_{6363-every fisherman 's hut} , in a miraculously short space of time . [We]_6355-they may as well state here at once , to save farther retrospection , that [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , by the active and admirable assistance of [Morton]_{162-mr. morton} , had , after a three months ' residence at [Feroe]_54-feroe , perceived that [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} might return to [England]_10-england much sooner than [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had at first anticipated ; still [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} did not like to mention even the probability of such a thing to [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} family]_{4086-his family} , till perfectly certain [himself]_{81-mrs. hamilton} . [Morton]_{162-mr. morton} never ceased persuading [him]_{81-mrs. hamilton} to name a period for [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} return , knowing the comfort it would be to [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} home]_{4084-his home} ; but [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} could not bear the idea of leaving [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} friend]_{4617-his friend} in [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} voluntary banishment so many months sooner than [they]_6355-they had reckoned on . When , however , the letters came from [Oakwood]_12-oakwood , detailing [Edward]_76-edward 's return , and the discoveries thence proceeding , [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} anxiety and , let it be owned , [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} extreme displeasure against [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} nephew]_{6367-his nephew} , prompted [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} return at once . [Morton]_{162-mr. morton} not only conquered every objection to [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} immediate departure , but tried , and in some measure succeeded , to soften [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} anger , by bringing before [him]_{81-mrs. hamilton} many points in [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} 's letter , showing real , good , and true repentance in the offender , which a first perusal of a narrative of error had naturally overlooked . [The seas]_{6368-the seas} , however , were so fearfully tempestuous and the winds so adverse , that it was impossible either to leave [Feroe]_54-feroe , or get a letter conveyed to [Scotland]_60-scotland , for a full fortnight after [the Siren]_{221-the siren} 's last voyage . Nothing but the extreme urgency of the case , increased by the fact that the detention of the Siren at [Wick]_61-wick had given [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} a double packet of letters , but the second , though dated ten days later , gave the same hopeless account of [Ellen]_113-ellen , could have made [him]_{81-mrs. hamilton} attempt a voyage [home]_563-home in such weather ; yet [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} felt [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} could not rest , knowing intuitively the misery [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} wife]_{521-his wife} must be enduring , and scarcely able to bear even the thought of what seemed most probable , that [Ellen]_113-ellen would be taken from [her]_{521-his wife} , and the aggravated trial it would be . The voyage was a terrible one , for length and heavy gales . More than once [they]_6371-their wished to put into port , that [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} might continue [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} journey by [land]_3848-land , but [their]_6371-their only safety seemed keeping out at [sea]_579-sea , the storm threatening to dash [them]_6371-their on rock or shoal , whenever in sight of [land]_3848-land . By the time [they]_6371-their reached [the Land 's End]_{71-the land 's end} — [they]_6371-their had come westward of [England]_10-england , instead of eastward , as [they]_6371-their went — [the vessel]_{3847-the vessel} was in such a shattered and leaky condition , that [Captain Harvey]_{226-captain harvey} felt and acknowledged , [she]_{3847-the vessel} could not weather out another storm . The calm that had followed the heavy gales , gave hope to all ; even though the constant shiftings of the wind , which was now not more than what , in [sailor]_6376-sailor 's parlance , is called a cat's - paw , prevented [their]_6371-their making as much way as [they]_6371-their desired . At length [they]_6371-their were within twenty miles of [Dartmouth]_48-dartmouth , and not a doubt of [their]_6371-their safety disturbed [them]_6371-their , until the darkening atmosphere , the sullen rise and suppressed roar of the billows , the wind sobbing and wailing at first , and then bursting into that awful gale , which [we]_6377-we have before described , banished every human hope at once . The rudder snapped ; every half - hour the water gained upon the hold , though [every man]_{6268-every man} worked the pumps . There was not a shred of canvas , but the masts , and [yards]_6379-yards , and stays bent and snapped like reeds before the blast . To guide [her]_{3847-the vessel} was impossible ; [she]_{3847-the vessel} was driven on — on — till [she]_{3847-the vessel} struck on [a reef of rock]_{6380-a reef of rock} about a mile , or less , perhaps from [Dartmouth]_48-dartmouth . Then came [their]_6371-their signals of distress , as a last lone hope , for [the crew of the Siren]_{6381-the crew of the siren} were [all too good seamen]_{6382-all too good seamen} to dare believe [a boat]_{3020-a boat} could either be pushed off , or live in [such a sea]_{6242-such a sea} . [Their]_6371-their wonder , [their]_6371-their hope , [their]_6371-their intense thankfulness , when it was discovered , may be imagined . The rest is known . "_[0-i] And how did [you]_3091-you get this disfiguring blow , [[my]_0-i dear]_{3485-my dear} [Edward]_76-edward ? " inquired [[his]_3091-you aunt]_{365-his aunt} , whose eyes , it seemed , would turn upon [him]_3091-you , as if impossible to connect [that slight figure]_{6386-that slight figure} with such immense exertions — though some time had passed , and a social , happy breakfast , round which all still lingered , had enabled [them]_6371-their to subdue too painful emotion , and only to be conscious of the most deep and grateful joy . "_[3091-you] Pray do not call it disfiguring , [aunt]_1460-aunt ; [I]_0-i am quite proud of it . Last night [I]_0-i could have dispensed with such a striking mark of affection from [the poor Siren]_{221-the siren} , though [I]_0-i really hardly felt it , except that the blood would trickle in [my]_0-i eye , and almost blind [me]_0-i , when [I]_0-i wanted all [my]_0-i sight and senses too . But this morning [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} has made such a kind fuss about it , that [I]_0-i think it must be something grand . " "_{[128-mr. howard]} But what did [you]_3091-you hide [yourself]_3091-you for , [Ned]_76-edward ? " demanded [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , all [her]_78-emmeline high spirits recalled . [[Her]_78-emmeline cousin]_{4159-her cousin} hesitated and a flush mounted to [his]_{4159-her cousin} forehead . "_[76-edward] It was fear , [Emmeline]_78-emmeline ; absolute fear ! " "_{[78-emmeline]} Fear ! " [she]_78-emmeline repeated , laughing ; "_[3091-you] of what ? of all [the bogies and spirits of the winds and waves]_{3094-the bogies and spirits of the winds and waves} , whose wrath [you]_3091-you dared , by venturing to oppose [them]_{3094-the bogies and spirits of the winds and waves} ? Nonsense , [Edward]_76-edward ! [you]_3091-you will never make [me]_0-i believe that . " "_[3091-you] Because [you]_3091-you do not know [me]_0-i , " [he]_{3470-your father} answered , with startling earnestness . "_[3091-you] How can [your]_3091-you gentle nature understand the incongruities of [mine]_0-i ? or loving [[your]_3091-you father]_{3470-your father} as [you]_3091-you do , and as [he]_{3470-your father} deserves , comprehend the dread , belief in [his]_{3470-your father} unpitying sternness to youthful error , which from [my]_0-i childhood [he]_{3470-your father} held — [he]_{3470-your father} holds — [my]_0-i fate , forgiveness or exposure , and how could [I]_0-i meet [him]_{3470-your father} calmly ? [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , if [I]_0-i had been but as morally brave as [I]_0-i may be physically , [I]_0-i should have had nothing to dread , nothing to hide . As it is , [uncle Hamilton]_{3096-uncle hamilton} , [judge]_3097-judge , act , decide as [you]_3091-you would , if [I]_0-i had not been the undeserved means of saving [you]_3091-you — it will be the best for [me]_0-i ; " and , rising hurriedly , [he]_{3470-your father} left [the room]_{356-the room} before [any one]_{393-any one} could reply . "_[3091-you] But [you]_3091-you will forgive [him]_{3470-your father} , [papa]_3546-papa ; [you]_3091-you will try [him]_{3470-your father} again ; and [I]_0-i am sure [he]_{3470-your father} will be morally brave , too , " pleaded [Emmeline]_78-emmeline ; [[her]_78-emmeline sister]_{325-her sister} and [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} joining in the entreaty and belief , and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} looking in [his]_{3470-your father} face without uttering a word . [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's answer seemed to satisfy [all parties]_{6391-all parties} . [Ellen]_113-ellen meanwhile had awoke , quite refreshed , and all pain gone , been dressed and conveyed to [[her]_113-ellen daily quarters]_{2942-her daily quarters} , the events of the morning entirely unknown to [her]_113-ellen ; for though the joyful news , spreading like wildfire through [the house]_{3775-the house} , had reached [Mrs. Langford]_{204-mrs. langford} 's ears , and made [her]_113-ellen very happy , [she]_113-ellen had quite judgment enough , even without a message to the effect from [[her]_113-ellen mistress]_{733-her mistress} , to keep it from [Ellen]_113-ellen till carefully prepared . "_{[3470-your father]} What can [I]_0-i say to [[my]_0-i little [Ellen]_113-ellen]_{1122-my little ellen} for deserting [her]_113-ellen so long ? " inquired [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , playfully , as [she]_0-i entered [[her]_0-i room]_{4818-her room} , about twelve o'clock , after a long private conversation with [[her]_0-i husband]_{340-her husband} . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i wish [you]_0-i would tell [me]_0-i [you]_0-i had been lying down , [dear aunt]_{3449-dear aunt} ; it would satisfy [me]_0-i better than any other reason . " "_[0-i] Because [you]_0-i think it would do [me]_0-i the most good , dearest . But look at [me]_0-i , and tell [me]_0-i if [you]_0-i do not think [I]_0-i must have been trying some equally efficacious remedy . " [Ellen]_113-ellen did look , and so radiant was that kind face with happiness , that [she]_113-ellen was startled . "_[0-i] What has happened , [aunt Emmeline]_78-emmeline ? [You]_0-i have heard from [[my]_0-i uncle]_{1463-my uncle} , " [she]_0-i added , [her]_0-i voice trembling . "_[0-i] What does [he]_{1463-my uncle} say?—will [he]_{1463-my uncle} — " "_{[1463-my uncle]} [He]_{1463-my uncle} says , [you]_0-i must summon all [your]_0-i smiles to greet [him]_{1463-my uncle} , love ; for [he]_{1463-my uncle} hopes to be with [us]_3102-us very , very shortly , so [you]_0-i will not wonder at [my]_0-i joy ? " [Ellen]_113-ellen tried to sympathize in it ; but [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} soon saw that [her]_113-ellen perhaps near dread of what should be [[her]_113-ellen uncle]_{519-her uncle} 's judgment on [[her]_113-ellen brother]_{384-her brother} and [herself]_113-ellen , prevented all pleasurable anticipation of [his]_{1463-my uncle} arrival , and that the only effectual way of removing it was to let [them]_3102-us meet as soon as possible . Three days after [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's arrival , a cheerful party assembled in [[[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} wife]_{521-his wife} 's dressing - room]_{6400-his wife 's dressing - room} , which , in [its]_{6400-his wife 's dressing - room} elegant appurtenances — signs as they were , of a most refined and beautiful taste — certainly deserved a higher appellation ; but boudoir , [Percy]_99-percy had always declared , did not harmonize at all with the old English comforts of [Oakwood]_12-oakwood , and [he]_99-percy would not have a French word to designate [[[his]_99-percy mother]_{330-his mother} 's room]_{6402-his mother 's room} especially . [Ellen]_113-ellen was on [her]_113-ellen sofa working ; [Edward]_76-edward , who [she]_113-ellen thought had only returned that morning , at [her]_113-ellen side , reading ; [Caroline]_120-caroline and [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , drawing , [the one with some degree of perseverance]_{6403-the one with some degree of perseverance} , [the other with none at all]_{6404-the other with none at all} . It seemed as if [she]_78-emmeline could not sit still , and [her]_78-emmeline wild sallies , and snatches of old songs , repeatedly made [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} look up from [her]_{112-miss harcourt} book , and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} from [her]_78-emmeline work , surprised . "_{[78-emmeline]} [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , [I]_0-i can not draw , " exclaimed [Caroline]_120-caroline , at length ; "_{[78-emmeline]} [you]_78-emmeline are making the table as restless as [yourself]_78-emmeline . " "_{[78-emmeline]} Why can [you]_78-emmeline not say it was moved by an irresistible sympathy ? It is most extraordinary that [you]_78-emmeline will still speak plain matter - of - fact , when [I]_0-i am doing all [I]_0-i can to make [you]_78-emmeline poetical . " "_{[78-emmeline]} But what am [I]_0-i to poetize on now , [Emmeline?—the]_{229-emmeline?—the} table , or [yourself]_78-emmeline ? because , at present , they are the only subjects under consideration , and [I]_0-i really can not see any thing very poetical in either . " "_[108-lina] Not even in [me]_0-i , [Lina]_108-lina ? " archly replied [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , bending down so that [her]_78-emmeline face should come before [[her]_78-emmeline sister]_{325-her sister} , instead of [her]_78-emmeline copy , which was a very pretty , small marble figure . "_[108-lina] Now , if [you]_78-emmeline were not the most determined piece of prose in [the world]_{592-the world} , [you]_78-emmeline would find poetry even in [my]_0-i face . "For , [lo]_6406-lo ! [the artist]_{6407-the artist} no more gazedOn features still and cold;He stood , bewilder'd and amazed , As living charms unfold . "As_{[78-emmeline]} if touch'd by yon orient ray , The stone to life had warm'd;For round the lip such bright smiles play , As never sculptor form'd . There , [Caroline]_120-caroline , that is what [you]_78-emmeline ought to have felt . If [I]_0-i can make poetry on [my]_0-i own face — " "_[0-i] Poetry on [yourself]_78-emmeline ! Why , [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , [I]_0-i thought [you]_78-emmeline were repeating a verse of some old poet , with which [I]_0-i am unacquainted . [I]_0-i really beg [your]_78-emmeline pardon . [I]_0-i did not know [[your]_78-emmeline favorite [Muse]_230-muse]_{3104-your favorite muse} had dubbed [you]_78-emmeline follower as well as [worshipper]_{3105-worshipper} . " "_[230-muse] Nor did [I]_0-i till this moment . [She]_230-muse feared for [her]_230-muse reputation near such a love of prose as [you]_78-emmeline are , and so touched [me]_0-i with inspiration . [I]_0-i am exceedingly obliged to [her]_230-muse ; but even if [I]_0-i failed to make [you]_78-emmeline poetical , [Caroline]_120-caroline , [you]_78-emmeline might have emulated [Cowper]_231-cowper , and instead of singing the ' Sofa , ' sung the ' Table . ' Indeed [I]_0-i think a very pretty poem might be made of it . Look at the variety of tasteful and useful things laid on a table — and there it stands in the midst of them , immovable , cold , insensible just like one on whom [we]_3106-we heap favors upon favors , and who remains so wrapped in self , as to be utterly indifferent to all . Now , [Caroline]_120-caroline , put that into rhyme , or blank verse , if [you]_78-emmeline prefer it ; it is a new idea , at least . " "_{[78-emmeline]} So new , " replied [[her]_0-i sister]_{325-her sister} , laughing , "_{[78-emmeline]} that [I]_0-i think [I]_0-i will send it to [Percy]_99-percy , and request [him]_99-percy to turn it into a Greek or Latin ode ; it will be so much grander than [my]_0-i English version . [You]_78-emmeline have so astonished [mamma]_3420-mamma , [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , by [your]_78-emmeline mad mood , that [she]_3420-mamma has actually put down [her]_3420-mamma work . " "_[3420-mamma] [I]_0-i am so glad ! " replied [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , springing to [[her]_78-emmeline mother]_{345-her mother} 's side ; "_[3420-mamma] [I]_0-i like [other people]_{1085-other people} to be as idle as [myself]_0-i . " "_[3420-mamma] But there is a medium in all things , [young lady]_{3109-young lady} , " answered [[her]_78-emmeline mother]_{345-her mother} , half - gravely , half in [Emmeline]_78-emmeline 's own tone ; "_[0-i] and [I]_0-i rather think [your]_78-emmeline conscience is telling [you]_78-emmeline , that it is not quite right to desert [one Muse]_{3110-one muse} for another , as [you]_78-emmeline are doing now . " "_{[3110-one muse]} Oh , but [my]_0-i drawing must wait till [[her]_{3110-one muse} Muse]_{3111-her muse} inspires [me]_0-i again . Poetry does not always come , and [her]_{3110-one muse} visits are so delightful ! " "_{[3110-one muse]} Then [I]_0-i am afraid [you]_78-emmeline will think [me]_0-i very harsh , [Emmeline]_78-emmeline ; but delightful as they are , [I]_0-i must not have [them]_3112-them always encouraged . If [you]_78-emmeline encourage the idea of only working when the fit of inspiration comes upon [you]_78-emmeline — in plain words , only when [you]_78-emmeline feel inclined — [you]_78-emmeline will fritter life away without one solid thought or acquirement . [You]_78-emmeline think now , perhaps , habituated as [you]_78-emmeline are to employment , that this is impossible ; but [you]_78-emmeline are just of an age to demand very strict watchfulness over [yourself]_78-emmeline to prevent it . Now that [you]_78-emmeline are emerging from the routine of childhood 's lessons , and too old to be compelled to do that which is right , and — rendering [your]_78-emmeline task of control more difficult — more susceptible to poetry , and what [you]_78-emmeline term inspiration , than ever , [you]_78-emmeline must try and infuse a little of [Caroline]_120-caroline 's steady , matter - of - fact into [your]_78-emmeline poetry , instead of almost despising it , as so cold and disagreeable . Now , do not look so very sad , and so very serious , love , and jump at the conclusion that [I]_0-i am displeased , because [I]_0-i speak seriously . [I]_0-i love [your]_78-emmeline joyousness far too dearly to check it , or wish [you]_78-emmeline to do so , especially in [[your]_78-emmeline own family]_{3113-your own family} ; but just as [you]_78-emmeline have learned the necessity of , and evinced so well and so feelingly , control in emotions of sorrow , [[my]_0-i Emmeline]_{1674-my emmeline} , so [I]_0-i am quite sure [you]_78-emmeline will trust [my]_0-i experience , and practice control , even in the pleasant inspiration of poetry and joy . " [Emmeline]_78-emmeline sat very quiet for several minutes ; [she]_78-emmeline was just in that mood of extreme hilarity which renders control excessively difficult , and causes the least check upon it to be felt as harsh and unkind , and almost to bring tears . [She]_78-emmeline was not too perfect to escape from feeling all this , even though [the person who had caused it]_{6411-the person who had caused it} was [the mother [she]_78-emmeline so dearly loved]_{6412-the mother she so dearly loved} ; but [she]_78-emmeline did not give way to it . A few minutes ' hard struggle , and the momentary temper was so conquered , that , with an even more than usually warm kiss , [she]_78-emmeline promised to think quite seriously on all [[her]_78-emmeline mother]_{345-her mother} said ; and , an effort far more difficult , was just as joyous as before . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i have made so many mistakes in [my]_0-i drawing , [mamma]_3420-mamma , [I]_0-i really do not think [I]_0-i can go on with it to - day ; do let [me]_0-i help [you]_3420-mamma , [I]_0-i will take such pains with [my]_0-i work , it shall be almost as neat as [yours]_3420-mamma ; and then , though [my]_0-i fingers are employed , at least [I]_0-i may go on talking . " [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} assented , telling [her]_78-emmeline [she]_78-emmeline might talk as much as [she]_78-emmeline pleased , with one of those peculiar smiles of approval which ever made [Emmeline]_78-emmeline 's heart throb , for [they]_6414-they always told [her]_78-emmeline , that the thoughts and feelings , and secret struggle with temper , which [she]_78-emmeline imagined must be known only to [herself]_78-emmeline , [[her]_78-emmeline mother]_{345-her mother} by some mysterious power had discovered , and rewarded . "_[76-edward] [Edward]_76-edward what are [you]_76-edward so deep in?—'Fragments of Voyages and [Travels'—I]_{232-travels'—i} thought it was something much deeper than that by the deep attention [you]_76-edward are giving it . [You]_76-edward should dip in [oceans]_3116-oceans , not in fragments of water , [Ned]_76-edward . " "_[76-edward] [I]_0-i did not feel inclined for the exertion , " [he]_76-edward replied , smiling . "_[0-i] Do [you]_76-edward know , " [she]_0-i continued , "_[0-i] when [I]_0-i first read that book , which [I]_0-i did merely because [I]_0-i had a lurking sort of affection for [a handsome cousin of [mine]_0-i who was [a sailor]_{3421-a sailor}]_{3117-a handsome cousin of mine who was a sailor} , [I]_0-i was so charmed with the tricks [you]_76-edward all played in the cockpit , that [I]_0-i was seized with a violent desire to don [a middy]_{3119-a middy} 's dress , and come after [you]_76-edward ; it would have made such a pretty story , too ; but [I]_0-i did not think [mamma]_80-mamma and [papa]_3546-papa would quite approve of it , so [I]_0-i desisted . Should [I]_0-i not make [a very handsome boy]_{3121-a very handsome boy} , [Edward]_76-edward ? " "_[76-edward] So handsome , " [he]_76-edward replied , again smiling , "_[76-edward] that [I]_0-i fear [you]_76-edward would not have preserved [your]_76-edward incognita half an hour , especially with those flowing curls . " "_[0-i] [[My]_0-i dear]_{3485-my dear} [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , do tell [me]_0-i , what has made [you]_78-emmeline in this mood ? " asked [Ellen]_113-ellen ; "_[0-i] last week [you]_78-emmeline were so sad , and the last three days [you]_78-emmeline have been — " "_{[78-emmeline]} Wild enough to frighten [you]_0-i , [Ellen]_113-ellen ; ah , if [you]_0-i did but know the reason . " "_{[78-emmeline]} [You]_78-emmeline had better satisfy [her]_3123-her curiosity , [Emmy]_121-emmy , " said [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , so meaningly , that [Emmeline]_78-emmeline 's ready mind instantly understood [her]_3123-her . "_{[78-emmeline]} Tell [her]_3123-her all that did occur in that awful storm three days ago , as poetically and lengthily as [you]_78-emmeline like ; [no one]_{3540-no one} shall interrupt [you]_78-emmeline , if [you]_78-emmeline will only be very careful not to exaggerate or alarm . " [Edward]_76-edward gave up [his]_76-edward seat to [[his]_76-edward cousin]_{2154-his cousin} , and [Emmeline]_78-emmeline launched at once into a most animated description of the storm and the shipwreck , and the rescue ; cleverly contriving so to hide all names , as to elude the least suspicion of either the preserved or [the preserver]_{6417-the preserver} having any thing to do with [herself]_3123-her , [Ellen]_113-ellen becoming so exceedingly interested , as to lose sight of the question which at first had struck [her]_113-ellen , what this could have to do with [Emmeline]_78-emmeline 's wild spirits . "_{[78-emmeline]} [You]_78-emmeline do not mean to say it was [[his]_3125-his own father]_{3126-his own father} [he]_3125-his saved ? " [she]_113-ellen said , as [[her]_113-ellen cousin]_{4159-her cousin} paused a minute to take breath ; "_{[78-emmeline]} [your]_78-emmeline tale is becoming so like a romance , [Emmy]_121-emmy , [I]_0-i hardly know how to believe it . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i assure [you]_78-emmeline it is quite true ; only imagine what [[my]_0-i young hero]_{3127-my young hero} 's feelings must have been , and those of [the family]_{3915-the family} , to whom [he]_{3127-my young hero} gave back [a husband]_{3129-a husband} and [a father]_{755-a father} ! " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i should think them so intense , so sacred , as to be hardly joy at first , and scarcely possible to be imagined , even by [your]_78-emmeline vivid fancy , [Emmy]_121-emmy . " "_[121-emmy] [I]_0-i do n't know , [Ellen]_113-ellen , but [I]_0-i think [I]_0-i can imagine them ; [you]_78-emmeline may shake [your]_78-emmeline head , and look wise , but [I]_0-i will prove that [I]_0-i can by - and - by . But what do [you]_78-emmeline think of [[my]_0-i hero]_{3131-my hero} ? " "_{[78-emmeline]} That [I]_0-i should like to know [him]_{3131-my hero} , and admire [him]_{3131-my hero} quite as much as [you]_78-emmeline can desire — and who told [you]_78-emmeline all this ? " "_{[3132-the principal actors in the scene]} One of [the principal actors in the scene]_{3132-the principal actors in the scene} ? " "_{[3132-the principal actors in the scene]} What , has [your]_78-emmeline penchant for any thing out of the common way reached [Dartmouth]_48-dartmouth , and [old Collins]_{227-old collins} brought [you]_78-emmeline the tale ? " "_{[227-old collins]} No , " replied [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , laughing ; "_{[227-old collins]} guess again . " "_{[227-old collins]} [William Grey]_{228-william grey} ? " "_{[228-william grey]} No . " "_{[228-william grey]} [One of the rescued crew who may know [[my]_0-i aunt]_{3424-my aunt}]_{3133-one of the rescued crew who may know my aunt} ? " "_[113-ellen] Wrong again , [Ellen]_113-ellen . " "_[113-ellen] Then [I]_0-i can not guess , [Emmeline]_78-emmeline ; so pray tell [me]_0-i . " "_{[78-emmeline]} [You]_113-ellen are very silly , [Ellen]_113-ellen ; were not [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} and [Edward]_76-edward both at [Dartmouth]_48-dartmouth at the time ? why did [you]_78-emmeline not guess [them]_3135-them ? Not that [I]_0-i had it from either . " "_[76-edward] [Edward]_76-edward ! " repeated [Ellen]_113-ellen , "_[76-edward] did [he]_76-edward know any thing about it ? " "_[76-edward] More than [any one else dearest]_{3136-any one else dearest} , " answered [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , cautiously , but fondly ; "_[76-edward] put all [Emmeline]_78-emmeline 's strange tale together , and connect it with [my]_0-i happiness the other morning , and [I]_0-i think [your]_113-ellen own heart will explain the rest . " "_[0-i] More especially with [this speaking witness]_{3137-this speaking witness} , " continued [Emmeline]_78-emmeline playfully putting back [Edward]_76-edward 's hair , that [Ellen]_113-ellen might see the scar . [She]_113-ellen understood it in a moment , and clasping [her]_113-ellen arms round [[her]_113-ellen brother]_{384-her brother} 's neck , as [he]_{384-her brother} knelt by [her]_113-ellen , tried hard to prevent emotion , but could not , and burst into tears . "_{[3137-this speaking witness]} Tears , [[my]_0-i little [Ellen]_113-ellen]_{1122-my little ellen} ; [I]_0-i said [I]_0-i would only be greeted with smiles , " exclaimed a rich , deep voice close beside [her]_113-ellen , and before [she]_113-ellen had time to fear [his]_{384-her brother} presence , [she]_113-ellen felt [herself]_113-ellen clasped with all [a father]_{755-a father} 's fondness in [[her]_113-ellen uncle]_{519-her uncle} 's arms ; [her]_113-ellen head resting on [his]_{384-her brother} shoulder , and [his]_{384-her brother} warm kiss on [her]_113-ellen cheek . "_[0-i] [Edward]_76-edward ! " was the only word [she]_113-ellen could speak . "_[113-ellen] Do not fear for [him]_76-edward , [[my]_0-i dear]_{3485-my dear} [Ellen]_113-ellen ; true repentance and a firm resolution to amend are all [I]_0-i ask , and if [his]_76-edward future conduct really prove them , the errors of [his]_76-edward youth shall be forgotten , as if they had never been . " "_[0-i] And — and — " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i know all [you]_113-ellen would say , [[my]_0-i dear child]_{1285-my dear child} . [I]_0-i did think there could be no excuse , no palliation , for [your]_113-ellen sin ; but even if [I]_0-i still wish the temptation had been resisted , [you]_113-ellen have indeed suffered for it , more than the harshest judgment could desire ; let it be forgotten as entirely and as fully as it is forgiven . " In a very few minutes [Ellen]_113-ellen 's composure was so fully restored , and [her]_113-ellen heavy dread so subsided , that the relief seemed to [her]_113-ellen almost a dream . Could it be possible that it was the relative [she]_113-ellen had pictured as so harsh and stern , and pitiless to youthful error , who had drawn a chair close by [her]_113-ellen sofa , and caressingly holding [her]_113-ellen hand in [his]_76-edward , and looking so kindly , so earnestly , in [her]_113-ellen altered face , was trying to amuse [her]_113-ellen by telling [her]_113-ellen so many entertaining things about [Feroe]_54-feroe and [Mr. Morton]_{162-mr. morton} , and [his]_76-edward voyage [home]_563-home , and alluding to [[her]_113-ellen brother]_{384-her brother} 's courage , and prudence , and skill , in such terms as almost brought the tears again ? [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} was inexpressibly shocked at the change which mental and bodily suffering had wrought in [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} niece]_{6424-his niece} . There is always something peculiarly touching , and appealing to the best emotions , in youthful sorrow or suffering of any kind ; and [her]_113-ellen trial had been such an aggravated one — combining such agonized remorse , for an act , which the harshest judgment , knowing all points of the case , could scarcely pronounce as other than involuntary , with the most heroic , but perfectly unconscious self - sacrifice , and not only terror for [[her]_113-ellen brother]_{384-her brother} 's fate , but an almost crushing sense of misery for [his]_76-edward faults , that the pallid face , and frame so delicately fragile , had still deeper claims for sympathy and cherishing than even when caused by ordinary illness . The loss of [her]_113-ellen unusually luxuriant hair , except the soft bands which shaded [her]_113-ellen face , visible under the pretty little lace cap , made [her]_113-ellen look much younger than [she]_113-ellen really was , and so delicately transparent had become [her]_113-ellen complexion , that the blue veins were clearly traceable on [her]_113-ellen forehead , and throat , and hands ; the dark , soft lash seemed longer than before , as it swept the pale cheek , the brow more penciled , and the eye , whether in imagination , from [[her]_113-ellen friends]_{620-her friends} knowing all [she]_113-ellen had endured , or in reality , was so expressive of such deep , quiet feeling , that the whole countenance was so altered and so improved , that it seemed as if [the heavy , sallow child]_{6427-the heavy , sallow child} was rapidly changing into one of [those sweet , lovable , heart - attracting girls , who , without any actual beauty , can never be passed unnoticed]_{6428-those sweet , lovable , heart - attracting girls , who , without any actual beauty , can never be passed unnoticed} . At [Ellen]_113-ellen 's request , [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had , as soon as [she]_113-ellen was strong enough , read with [her]_113-ellen , morning and evening , the devotional exercises which were read below to [the assembled family]_{6429-the assembled family} . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} soon perceived , and with no little pain , that [Ellen]_113-ellen shrunk from the idea of being well enough to rejoin [them]_{6429-the assembled family} , in actual suffering . Here again was [an effect of that same vivid imagination , of whose existence , until the late events , in one so quiet , seemingly so cold]_{6430-an effect of that same vivid imagination , of whose existence , until the late events , in one so quiet , seemingly so cold} , [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had not the least idea of . [Ellen]_113-ellen had been so long accustomed to be silent as to [her]_113-ellen feelings , in fact , carefully to conceal them , that much as [she]_113-ellen might wish and intend to be unreserved , [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} feared it would cause [her]_113-ellen some difficulty to be so , and [she]_113-ellen could not hope to succeed in controlling imagination , unless [she]_113-ellen were . That night , however , [Ellen]_113-ellen 's unreserved confidence gave [her]_113-ellen hope . When the devotional exercises , in which [she]_113-ellen had joined with even more than usual earnestness and fervor , were concluded , [she]_113-ellen said , with almost [Emmeline]_78-emmeline 's confidence , as [she]_113-ellen laid [her]_113-ellen hand on [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} 's — "_[0-i] [I]_0-i am so very , very happy to - night , [dear aunt]_{3449-dear aunt} , that [I]_0-i am afraid [I]_0-i do not think enough of what is past . [I]_0-i did so dread [[my]_0-i uncle]_{1463-my uncle} 's return — so tremble at what [his]_{1463-my uncle} sentence would be on [Edward]_76-edward and [myself]_0-i , that even [your]_{3449-dear aunt} kindness would not remove the weight ; and now , that [I]_0-i have found it all so groundless , and [he]_{1463-my uncle} is so kind — so indulgent , [I]_0-i am so relieved , that [I]_0-i fear [I]_0-i must have thought more of [his]_{1463-my uncle} anger than the anger of [God]_85-god . [My]_0-i sin remains the same in [His]_{1463-my uncle} sight , though [you]_{3449-dear aunt} and [uncle]_3425-uncle [Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} have so fully forgiven it , and — and — [I]_0-i do not think [I]_0-i ought to feel so happy . " "_[0-i] Indeed , [[my]_0-i dear]_{3485-my dear} [Ellen]_113-ellen , [I]_0-i think [you]_113-ellen may . [[Our]_3145-our Heavenly Father]_{3146-our heavenly father} is still more merciful than [man]_1176-man , as [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} so clearly proved to [you]_113-ellen , in the long conversation [you]_113-ellen had with [him]_{128-mr. howard} . [We]_3145-our know , by [His]_{128-mr. howard} Holy Word , that all [he]_{128-mr. howard} asks is sincere repentance for sin , and a firm conviction that in [Him]_{128-mr. howard} only [we]_3145-our are made sufficiently righteous for [our]_3145-our penitence to be accepted . [I]_0-i believe , [Ellen]_113-ellen , that [His]_{128-mr. howard} forgiveness was [yours]_113-ellen , long before [I]_0-i could give [you]_113-ellen [mine]_0-i , for [He]_{128-mr. howard} could read [your]_113-ellen heart , and saw the reason of [your]_113-ellen silence , and all the remorse and suffering , which , from the appearances , against [you]_113-ellen , [I]_0-i might not even guess ; and that , in [His]_{128-mr. howard} compassionating love and pity , [He]_{128-mr. howard} permitted [your]_113-ellen increased trial ; ordaining even the failure of the relief to [Edward]_76-edward , to convince [you]_113-ellen , that , not even in such a fearful case as [yours]_113-ellen , might error , however involuntary , prosper . [I]_0-i can trace [His]_{128-mr. howard} loving providence even in the fact of [your]_113-ellen finding one more note than [you]_113-ellen wanted , that discovery might thence come , which , without such a seeming chance , was , humanly speaking , impossible . [He]_{128-mr. howard} has shown compassion and love for [you]_113-ellen and [Edward]_76-edward , in the very sufferings [He]_{128-mr. howard} ordained . So do not check [your]_113-ellen returning happiness , fearing it must be unacceptable to [Him]_{128-mr. howard} . Try to trace all things , either of joy or sorrow , to [Him]_{128-mr. howard} . Associate [Him]_{128-mr. howard} with [your]_113-ellen every thought , and believe [me]_0-i , [my]_0-i own [Ellen]_113-ellen , [your]_113-ellen very happiness will both draw [you]_113-ellen nearer to [Him]_{128-mr. howard} , and be an acceptable offering in [his]_{128-mr. howard} sight . " [Ellen]_113-ellen listened eagerly , gratefully ; [she]_113-ellen felt as if , with every word [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} said , the film of doubt and vague fancies was dissolving from [her]_113-ellen mind , and , after a short pause , [she]_0-i said — "_[113-ellen] Then [you]_113-ellen do not think , [aunt Emmeline]_78-emmeline , [my]_0-i inability to pray for so long a time , was a proof that [God]_85-god had utterly forsaken [me]_0-i ? It made [me]_0-i still more wretched , for [I]_0-i thought it was a sure sign that [I]_0-i was so irredeemably wicked , [He]_{128-mr. howard} had left [me]_0-i to the devices of [my]_0-i own heart , and would never love or have mercy on [me]_0-i again . Even after [you]_113-ellen had quite forgiven [me]_0-i , and proved to [me]_0-i [my]_0-i promise was a mistaken one and not binding , [I]_0-i still felt the difficulty to pray , and it was so painful . " "_[113-ellen] Such inability is very often so entirely physical , [my]_0-i dear [Ellen]_113-ellen , that [we]_3148-our must not think too much about it . [Our]_3148-our simple duty is to persevere , however little satisfactory [our]_3148-our devotions ; and put [our]_3148-our firm trust in [[our]_3148-our heavenly Father]_{3146-our heavenly father} , that [He]_{3146-our heavenly father} will heal [us]_3148-our , and permit [His]_{3146-our heavenly father} countenance so to shine upon [us]_3148-our again , as to derive comfort from [our]_3148-our prayers . [Your]_113-ellen inability before [your]_113-ellen illness was the natural consequence of [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} 's severe representations , which [he]_{128-mr. howard} has since assured [me]_0-i , [he]_{128-mr. howard} never would have used , if [he]_{128-mr. howard} could have had the least idea of the cause of [your]_113-ellen silence . [You]_113-ellen , [[my]_0-i poor child]_{866-my poor child} , were suffering too much , from a complete chaos of conflicting feelings and duties , to be able to realize this , and [I]_0-i am not at all astonished , that when [you]_113-ellen most yearned for the comfort of prayer and trust , the thought that by [your]_113-ellen silence [you]_113-ellen were failing in [your]_113-ellen duty to [me]_0-i and so disobeying [God]_85-god , should utterly have prevented it . Since [your]_113-ellen severe illness the inability has been entirely physical . As strength and peace return , [you]_113-ellen will regain the power , and realize all its comfort . Try , and under all feelings trust in and love [God]_85-god , and do not be too much elated , when [you]_113-ellen can think seriously and pray joyfully , nor too desponding when both fail [you]_113-ellen . In [our]_3151-we present state , physical causes alone , so often occasion these differences of feeling in hours of devotion , that if [we]_3151-we thought too much about them , [we]_3151-we should constantly think wrong , and be very miserable . Try and prove [your]_113-ellen desire to love and serve [God]_85-god , in [your]_113-ellen daily conduct and secret thoughts , [[my]_0-i Ellen]_{1128-my ellen} , and [you]_113-ellen will be able to judge of [your]_113-ellen spiritual improvement by action and feeling , far more truly and justly than by the mood in which [you]_113-ellen pray . " The earnestness of truth and feeling was always so impressed on [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's manner , whenever [she]_0-i addressed [her]_0-i youthful charge , that [her]_0-i simplest word had weight . Happy indeed is it when youth — that season of bewildering doubt and question , and vivid , often mistaken fancies , and too impetuous feeling — has the rich blessing of such affectionate counsels , such [a friend]_{1440-a friend} . Why will [not woman]_{6434-not woman} rise superior to the petty employments and feelings too often alone attributed to [her]_{6434-not woman} , and endeavor to fit [herself]_{6434-not woman} for such a thrice blessed mission ; and by sympathy with young enjoyments — young hopes — young feelings , so attract young affections , that similar counsels , similar experiences , may so help and guide , that the restless mind and eager heart quiesce into all the calm , deep , beautiful characteristics , which so shine forth in [the true English wife]_{6435-the true english wife} — [the true English mother]_{6436-the true english mother} ! A fortnight after [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's arrival , [Ellen]_113-ellen was well enough to go down [stairs]_3445-stairs for part of the day , and even to read and write a little . [She]_113-ellen was so very anxious to recommence [her]_113-ellen studies , which for many months had been so painfully neglected , that it was a great trial to [her]_113-ellen , to find [her]_113-ellen head was not yet strong enough for the necessary application . There were many , very many privations and trials , attendant on convalescence after so severe an illness , known only to [Ellen]_113-ellen 's own heart , and to [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} 's quick sympathy ; and [she]_113-ellen very quickly learned in [them]_6439-them the meaning of [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's words regarding religion in conduct and feeling , as well as in prayer . [She]_113-ellen tried never to murmur , or dwell on the wish for pleasures which were denied [her]_113-ellen , but to think only on the many blessings which surrounded [her]_113-ellen . It was not an easy task so to conquer natural feeling , especially as the trial and its conquest was often known only to [herself]_113-ellen ; but the earnest wish , indeed , to become holy in daily conduct , as well as in daily prayer , never left [her]_113-ellen mind , and so enabled [her]_113-ellen at length fully to obtain it . If [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had wanted evidence of [[her]_113-ellen husband]_{340-her husband} 's public as well as domestic worth , [she]_113-ellen would have had it fully now . [His]_{340-her husband} danger and [his]_{340-her husband} preservation once known , letters of regard and congratulation poured upon [him]_{340-her husband} , and [Montrose Grahame]_{139-montrose grahame} made a journey down to [Oakwood]_12-oakwood expressly to welcome back , and express [his]_{139-montrose grahame} individual gratitude for [[his]_{139-montrose grahame} friend]_{4617-his friend} 's safety to [[his]_{139-montrose grahame} youthful preserver]_{6442-his youthful preserver} . But [Edward]_76-edward so shrunk from praise or admiration , that [[his]_76-edward uncle]_{443-his uncle} , rejoicing at the feeling , would not press [him]_76-edward , as [he]_{443-his uncle} had first intended , to accompany [him]_76-edward to [Oxford]_36-oxford , where [he]_{443-his uncle} went to see [[his]_{443-his uncle} sons]_{4424-his sons} . [Percy]_99-percy rated [him]_76-edward soundly in a letter for not coming . [Herbert]_197-harding seemed , as if [he]_197-harding could only think of [[his]_197-harding father]_{406-his father} 's danger , and thank [God]_85-god for [his]_197-harding safety , and for permitting [Edward]_76-edward to be the means . So great was the desire of [Mr.]_6446-mr. and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} to re - assemble all [[their]_3153-their happy family]_{6447-their happy family} once more , before [Edward]_76-edward left [them]_3153-their , that [the young men]_{4058-the young men} made an exception to [their]_3153-their general rule , and promised to spend Easter week at [home]_563-home . It was early in March , and anticipated by [the home party]_{6450-the home party} with the greatest delight . "_[3153-their] [We]_3153-their have had such a delightful excursion , [mamma]_3420-mamma . [Ellen]_113-ellen , how [I]_0-i do wish [you]_113-ellen could have been with [us]_3153-their ! " joyously exclaimed [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , as [she]_78-emmeline ran into [the usual sitting room]_{6451-the usual sitting room} , one of those lovely afternoons , that the first days of March so often bring , promising spring long before [she]_78-emmeline really comes . "_[113-ellen] It is such [a picturesque cottage]_{3155-a picturesque cottage} , and [Dame Collins]_{233-dame collins} , and [Susan]_{234-old collins} , and [a host of little ones]_{3156-a host of little ones} , look so nice , and so clean , and so pretty , and happy ; it does [one]_1058-one 's heart good to look at [them]_3158-them . " "_[113-ellen] Are [you]_113-ellen sure [you]_113-ellen can not find another adjective to apply to [them]_3158-them , [Emmy]_121-emmy ? [You]_113-ellen have heaped so many together , that it is a pity [you]_113-ellen can not find a few more . " "_[113-ellen] But [they]_3158-them really do look so comfortable , and are so grateful for all [you]_113-ellen and [papa]_3546-papa have done for [them]_3158-them : [Emmeline]_78-emmeline 's description for once , is not too flowing , " rejoined [the quieter Caroline , who had followed [[her]_{6452-the quieter caroline , who had followed her sister into the room} sister]_{325-her sister} into [the room]_{356-the room}]_{6452-the quieter caroline , who had followed her sister into the room} . "_{[78-emmeline]} And were [they]_3158-them pleased with [your]_113-ellen visit ? " asked [Ellen]_113-ellen . "_[3158-them] Oh , delighted ! particularly at [our]_3160-our making [[their]_3158-them pretty little parlor]_{3161-their pretty little parlor} [[our]_3160-our dining - room]_{3162-our dining - room} , and remaining so long with [them]_3158-them , that [they]_3158-them could show [us]_3160-our all [their]_3158-them comforts and conveniences , without any bustle . " "_[3158-them] [Mrs. Collins]_{227-old collins} is really [a sensible woman]_{3163-a sensible woman} . Do [you]_113-ellen not think so , [mamma]_3420-mamma ? " inquired [Caroline]_120-caroline . "_[113-ellen] Yes , [[my]_0-i dear]_{3485-my dear} . [She]_{227-old collins} has brought up [[her]_{227-old collins} own large family]_{3166-her own large family} and [[her]_{227-old collins} poor orphan grandchildren]_{3167-her poor orphan grandchildren} so admirably , in the midst of [their]_3158-them extreme poverty , and bears such a name for kindness among [[her]_{227-old collins} still poorer neighbors]_{3168-her still poorer neighbors} , that [I]_0-i truly respect and admire [her]_{227-old collins} . [She]_{227-old collins} is quite one of those in whom [I]_0-i have often told [you]_{3485-my dear} some of the very loftiest virtues are to be found ; and yet to see [her]_{227-old collins} , as [she]_{227-old collins} trudges about in [her]_{227-old collins} homely , humble fashion , never dreaming [she]_{227-old collins} is doing or has done any thing remarkable in [her]_{227-old collins} hard - working life , who would suspect it ? " "_[113-ellen] Only look , [Ellen]_113-ellen , how beautifully [our]_3169-our collection will be increased , " continued [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , who just at that moment was only alive to pleasure , not to contemplation , even of goodness , in which [she]_78-emmeline much delighted , and pouring into [[her]_78-emmeline cousin]_{4159-her cousin} 's lap a basket of beautiful shells and other marine treasures . "_[113-ellen] [Papa]_160-papa has just given [us]_3169-our a new cabinet in time , though [he]_160-papa only thought of [it]_3170-it as a place for [his]_160-papa Feroe curiosities . To think of [his]_160-papa remembering [our]_3169-our tastes even there ! " "_[160-papa] But where did [you]_0-i get these from ? " "_[0-i] Why , [the children]_{411-the children} were playing with some , which were so perfect , [I]_0-i could not help admiring [them]_{411-the children} , and [Mrs. Collins]_{227-old collins} was in a bustle of pleasure that [I]_0-i liked any thing so trifling , because [she]_{227-old collins} could gratify [me]_0-i , and [she]_{227-old collins} made [me]_0-i take all these , adding , that [[her]_{227-old collins} good man]_{3172-her good man} would be sure to look out for some more for [us]_3169-our ; for when [I]_0-i told [her]_{227-old collins} [they]_{411-the children} not only pleased [me]_0-i , but [[my]_0-i poor invalid cousin , who was [[Edward]_76-edward 's sister]_{3174-edward 's sister}]_{3173-my poor invalid cousin , who was edward 's sister} , [you]_3175-you should have seen how [her]_{3173-my poor invalid cousin , who was edward 's sister} eyes sparkled . " "_[3175-you] Oh , [you]_3175-you have quite won [the dame]_{3176-the dame} 's heart , [Emmy]_121-emmy ! " said [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} . "_[121-emmy] What with talking to [her]_{227-old collins} , and to [Susan]_{234-old collins} , and playing with [every one of [the children]_{411-the children}]_{3177-every one of the children} , and making [them]_{411-the children} tell [you]_3175-you all [their]_{411-the children} plays and [their]_{411-the children} schooling , and then gathering [you]_3175-you a nosegay , telling [them]_{411-the children} it should adorn [[your]_3175-you room]_{1833-your room} at [home]_563-home ! " "_[0-i] And so it shall , " [gayly]_235-gayly interrupted [Emmeline]_78-emmeline ; "_[0-i] [I]_0-i desired [Robert]_197-harding to put them in water directly , for they were very pretty , and [I]_0-i like them better than the best bouquet from [[our]_3181-our greenhouse]_{3182-our greenhouse} . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i do not quite agree with [you]_0-i , [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , " said [Caroline]_120-caroline , smiling . "_[0-i] Not [you]_0-i , [Lina]_108-lina , who ever thought [you]_0-i would ? by - the - by , [I]_0-i never saw [you]_0-i so agreeable and natural in [[a poor man]_{3183-a poor man} 's cottage]_{3184-a poor man 's cottage} in [my]_0-i life . What were [you]_0-i saying to [Dame Collins]_{233-dame collins} ? actually holding [her]_{233-dame collins} hand , and something very bright shining in [your]_0-i eye . " "_[0-i] [Dear Emmy]_121-emmy , do not run on so , " whispered [Ellen]_113-ellen , as [she]_113-ellen noticed [Caroline]_120-caroline 's cheek crimson . [Emmeline]_78-emmeline was at [her]_120-caroline side in a moment , with an arm round [her]_78-emmeline neck . "_[121-emmy] [Caroline]_120-caroline , [dear]_3435-dear , forgive [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i did not mean to tease [you]_120-caroline ; only it was unusual , was it not ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i was trying to tell [Mrs. Collins]_{227-old collins} all [I]_0-i thought of [[her]_{227-old collins} husband]_{340-her husband} 's share in saving [[our]_3187-our dear father]_{3188-our dear father} , [Emmy]_121-emmy . [I]_0-i forgot all of folly and pride then . " "_[0-i] [You]_120-caroline are very seldom proud now , dearest [Lina]_108-lina , and [I]_0-i was the foolish one not to have guessed what [you]_120-caroline were saying , with out tormenting [you]_120-caroline . [Mamma]_80-mamma , do [you]_80-mamma know [I]_0-i have such an admirable plan in [my]_0-i head ? " "_[80-mamma] First tell [mamma]_3420-mamma , " interrupted [Caroline]_120-caroline , "_[3420-mamma] that [William Grey]_{228-william grey} has chosen to be [a partner with [Collins]_{227-old collins} in the more extended fishing and boating business]_{3190-a partner with collins in the more extended fishing and boating business} , which papa has secured [them]_3191-them , instead of entering into business by [himself]_{228-william grey} ; this has been settled since [you]_120-caroline were [there]_320-there , [I]_0-i think . " "_[0-i] Yes , [[my]_0-i dear]_{3485-my dear} , [I]_0-i did not know it ; but [Mrs. Collins]_{227-old collins} must like it , for [she]_{227-old collins} regretted very much that [[her]_{227-old collins} sons]_{4030-her sons} were all scattered in different trades , and [[her]_{227-old collins} little grandson]_{3195-her little grandson} , whose taste pointed to [the sea]_{1714-the sea} , was not old enough to go out with [[his]_{3195-her little grandson} grandfather]_{5748-his grandfather} . " "_[3420-mamma] But only listen to [my]_0-i plan , [mamma]_3420-mamma , [dear]_3435-dear ! [William Grey]_{228-william grey} and [Susan Collins]_{234-old collins} can not possibly see much of [each other]_{938-each other} , without falling in love ; and [they]_3201-they will make such [an industrious , pretty couple]_{3202-an industrious , pretty couple} , and [papa]_3546-papa will give [them]_3201-they [a cottage to [themselves]_3201-they]_{3204-a cottage to themselves} , and [I]_0-i will go to [their]_3201-they wedding ! " "_[121-emmy] Just such a plan as [I]_0-i should expect from [your]_3435-dear giddy brain , [Emmy]_121-emmy . But how do [you]_3435-dear know that [Grey]_{228-william grey} has any desire for [a wife]_{4097-a wife} ? " "_[3435-dear] Oh , because [Edward]_76-edward said [he]_76-edward could not help remarking , even in the midst of that awful scene , how mournfully [he]_76-edward said [he]_76-edward would bear a hand , for [he]_76-edward had neither [mother]_3430-mother , [sister]_486-sister , nor [wife]_1890-wife to pipe for [him]_76-edward ; now , if [he]_76-edward married [Susan]_{234-old collins} , [he]_76-edward would have [a very pretty wife]_{3209-a very pretty wife} to lament [him]_76-edward . " "_{[236-poor susan]} [Poor Susan]_{236-poor susan} , [I]_0-i fancy [she]_{236-poor susan} would rather not become [[his]_76-edward wife]_{521-his wife} , if it be only to mourn for [him]_76-edward , [Emmy]_121-emmy ; rather a novel reason for a marriage , certainly . " "_[3420-mamma] Oh , but [mamma]_3420-mamma , [dear]_3435-dear ! [you]_3420-mamma know that [I]_0-i do n't mean exactly and only that ; [somebody to be interested]_{3213-somebody to be interested} for , and love [him]_76-edward . [No one]_{3540-no one} can be happy without that . " "_{[236-poor susan]} [Susan]_{236-poor susan} was telling [me]_0-i , [mamma]_3420-mamma , how thankful [she]_{236-poor susan} is to [you]_3420-mamma , for finding [her]_{236-poor susan} and [[her]_{236-poor susan} sister]_{325-her sister} employment , that [they]_3217-they might be able to help [the family]_{3915-the family} , " rejoined [Caroline]_120-caroline . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i was quite pleased with [her]_{236-poor susan} manner of speaking , and [she]_{236-poor susan} blushed so prettily when [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} praised the extreme neatness of [her]_{236-poor susan} work . " "_{[112-miss harcourt]} Ah , [mamma]_3420-mamma , if [you]_3420-mamma could but hear all [they]_3217-they say of [you]_3420-mamma ! " again burst forth [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , who it seemed could not be quiet , going from [one subject to another with the same eager zest]_{6456-one subject to another with the same eager zest} ; "_[3217-they] if [you]_3420-mamma had but heard [the old dame]_{3220-the old dame} tell [her]_{3220-the old dame} astonishment and [her]_{3220-the old dame} pride , when [she]_{3220-the old dame} saw [you]_3420-mamma enter [[their]_3217-they former miserable hut]_{3221-their former miserable hut} , and sitting down on an old sea - chest , invite [her]_{3220-the old dame} to tell , and listened to all [her]_{3220-the old dame} troubles , just as if [you]_3420-mamma had been [her]_{3220-the old dame} equal , and left such comfort and such hope behind [you]_3420-mamma , as had not been [theirs]_3217-they for many a long day . [She]_{3220-the old dame} actually cried when [she]_{3220-the old dame} spoke , and so did [I]_0-i , because [she]_{3220-the old dame} spoke so of [[my]_0-i mother]_{890-my mother} . Oh , [mother]_3430-mother , [darling]_3431-darling , how proud [[your]_3430-mother children]_{3504-your children} ought to be , to belong to [one so beloved]_{2226-one so beloved} , so revered by [the poor]_{4139-the poor} and [the rich]_{2473-the rich} too , as [you]_3430-mother are ! " "_{[3430-mother]} Flatterer ! " playfully answered [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , laying [her]_0-i hand caressingly on [[her]_0-i child]_{350-her child} 's mouth , as [she]_0-i knelt in sport before [her]_0-i . "_{[3430-mother]} [I]_0-i will not bear such praise , even from [you]_3431-darling . Believe [me]_0-i , [darling]_3431-darling , to win love and respect is so easy , so delightful , that there is no merit in obtaining it . [We]_3230-we ought only to be thankful , when granted such a station and such influence as will permit extended usefulness and thought for [others]_756-others , without wronging [our]_3230-we own . " "_[3420-mamma] Yes ; but , [mamma]_3420-mamma , [many people]_{3233-many people} do a great deal of good , but somehow or other [they]_{3233-many people} are not beloved . " "_[3420-mamma] Because , perhaps , in [their]_{3233-many people} earnest desire to accomplish a great deal of good , [they]_{3233-many people} may not think quite enough of little things , and of the quick sympathy with [other persons]_{3234-other persons} ' feelings , which is the real secret of winning love , and without which , sometimes even the greatest benefit is not valued as it ought to be . But did [you]_3431-darling see [old Collins]_{234-old collins} [himself]_{234-old collins} ? " "_{[234-old collins]} [He]_{234-old collins} came in just before [we]_3230-we left , and was so delighted to see [papa]_160-papa sitting in [his]_{234-old collins} ingle - nook , and only wished [Edward]_76-edward had been [there]_320-there too . " "_[160-papa] And where is [[your]_3431-darling father]_{3470-your father} ? " asked [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} . "_[160-papa] Did [he]_{3470-your father} not return with [you]_3431-darling ? " "_{[3470-your father]} Yes , but [Edward]_76-edward wanted [him]_{3470-your father} , and [they]_3237-they are in [the library]_{3958-the library} . [I]_0-i am quite certain there is some conspiracy between [them]_3237-they ; these long private interviews bode no good . [I]_0-i shall scold [papa]_3546-papa for being so mysterious , " said [Emmeline]_78-emmeline . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i rather think [he]_3546-papa will return the benefit , by scolding [you]_3431-darling for being so curious , [Emmy]_121-emmy . But here is [Edward]_76-edward , so the interview to - day has not been very long . " "_[76-edward] Has [papa]_160-papa been telling [you]_3431-darling [old Collins]_{234-old collins} ' naval news , [Ned]_76-edward ? " And , without waiting for an answer , [she]_0-i continued , "_[160-papa] that there is a fine seventy - four , the Sea Queen , preparing at [Plymouth]_47-plymouth , to take the place of [[your]_76-edward old ship]_{3240-your old ship} , and send back [Sir Edward Manly]_76-edward and [the Prince William]_{1731-the prince william} . Now do not tell [me]_0-i [you]_76-edward know this , [Edward]_76-edward , and so disappoint [me]_0-i of the rare pleasure of telling news . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i am sorry , [Emmy]_121-emmy , but [I]_0-i have known it for some weeks . " "_[0-i] And why did [you]_0-i not tell [us]_3242-us ? " "_[0-i] Because [I]_0-i did not think it would particularly interest [you]_76-edward until [I]_0-i could add other intelligence to it . " [He]_76-edward stopped , and looked alternately at [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} and [Ellen]_113-ellen , as if asking [the former]_{313-the former} whether [he]_76-edward might proceed . "_[0-i] And can [you]_76-edward do so now , [[my]_0-i dear]_{3485-my dear} [Edward]_76-edward ? " [she]_0-i replied understanding [him]_76-edward at once . "_[76-edward] [Ellen]_113-ellen is too anxious for [your]_76-edward advancement to expect , or wish [you]_76-edward always to remain with [her]_113-ellen . Have [you]_76-edward [your]_76-edward appointment ? " "_[1460-aunt] Yes [aunt]_1460-aunt . [[My]_0-i uncle]_{1463-my uncle} 's letter to [the admiralty]_{3246-the admiralty} brought an answer at last . It came while [he]_{1463-my uncle} was out , and has been tantalizing [me]_0-i on the library - table for four hours . But it is all right . As [the Prince William]_{192-the prince william} is returning , and [I]_0-i am so anxious to be still in active service , [I]_0-i am permitted , though somewhat against rule , to have a berth in [the Sea Queen]_{3247-the sea queen} . [I]_0-i am sure it is all [uncle Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's representations , and [I]_0-i am so thankful , so glad ! " "_[0-i] To leave [us]_3248-us all , again , [[you]_76-edward unfeeling savage]_{3249-you unfeeling savage} ! " exclaimed [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , trying to laugh off the universal regret at this announcement . [Ellen]_113-ellen had looked earnestly at [[her]_113-ellen brother]_{384-her brother} all the time [he]_{384-her brother} spoke , and then turned [her]_113-ellen face away , and a few quiet tears trickled down [her]_113-ellen cheek . [Edward]_76-edward 's arm was very quickly round [her]_113-ellen , and [he]_76-edward whispered so many fond words and earnest assurances , united with [his]_76-edward conviction that it would still be a whole month , perhaps more , before [he]_76-edward should be summoned , as [he]_76-edward had leave to remain with [[his]_76-edward family]_{4086-his family} till [the Sea Queen]_{3247-the sea queen} was ready to sail , that [she]_113-ellen rallied [her]_113-ellen spirits , and , after remaining very quiet for an hour , which was always [her]_113-ellen custom when [she]_113-ellen had had any struggle with [herself]_113-ellen , for the frame felt it — though neither word nor sign betrayed it — [she]_113-ellen was enabled fully to enjoy the grand delight of the evening — [Percy]_99-percy 's and [Herbert]_197-harding 's arrival . Easter week was indeed one of family joy and thankfulness not only that [they]_{4086-his family} were all permitted once more to be together but that the heavy clouds of sin and suffering had rolled away from [their]_{4086-his family} roof , and pleasure of the sweetest and most enduring because most domestic kind , reigned triumphant . [Percy]_99-percy 's astonishment at [Edward]_76-edward 's growth , and the alteration from [the handsome , joyous , rosy boy]_{6462-the handsome , joyous , rosy boy} , to [the pale , almost care - worn looking youth]_{6463-the pale , almost care - worn looking youth} ( for as long as [Ellen]_113-ellen bore such vivid traces of all [she]_113-ellen had endured for [his]_76-edward sake , and was , as it were , the constant presence of [his]_76-edward errors , [Edward]_76-edward tried in vain to recover [his]_76-edward former spirits ) , was most amusing . "_[76-edward] [You]_3250-you are all deceived , " [he]_76-edward would declare ; "_[3250-you] one of these days [you]_3250-you will discover [you]_3250-you have been receiving a spurious [Edward Fortescue]_166-edward , and that [he]_166-edward is as much a pretender as [[his]_166-edward namesake]_{3251-his namesake} , [Charles Edward]_76-edward . " "_[166-edward] Then [he]_166-edward is [no pretender]_{3252-no pretender} , [Percy]_99-percy . [He]_166-edward is as truly [the son of [Colonel Fortescue]_{114-colonel fortescue}]_{3253-the son of colonel fortescue} , as [Prince Charles]_94-charles was [the grandson of [James]_238-james]_{3254-the grandson of james} . Now do n't begin a civil contest directly [you]_3250-you come [home]_563-home ; [you]_3250-you know [you]_3250-you and [I]_0-i never do agree on historical subjects , and [we]_3256-we never shall ; [you]_3250-you hate [[Mary]_143-mary the great , great , great grandmother of [Prince Charles]_94-charles]_{3257-mary the great , great , great grandmother of prince charles} , and [I]_0-i love [her]_{3257-mary the great , great , great grandmother of prince charles} , so [we]_3256-we must be always at war . " "_[239-stuart] [Stuart]_239-stuart - mad , as usual , [Tiny]_130-tiny ! but if that really be [Edward]_76-edward , [I]_0-i wish [he]_76-edward would just look [a boy]_{3842-a boy} again , [I]_0-i do n't like the change at all ; [poor fellow]_{1323-poor fellow} ! " [he]_239-stuart added , to [himself]_239-stuart , "_[130-tiny] it is not much wonder . " The days passed much too quickly . [Emmeline]_78-emmeline wished a dozen times that the days would be twenty - four , instead of twelve hours long . The weather was so genial that it added to enjoyment , and allowed [Ellen]_113-ellen the delight , known only to such prisoners to sickness as [she]_113-ellen had been , of driving out for an hour or two at a time , and taking gentle walks on [the terrace]_{2675-the terrace} , and in [the garden]_{3457-the garden} . [The young men]_{4058-the young men} were to return on the Monday , and of the Saturday previous , a little excursion had been planned , to which the only drawback was that [Ellen]_113-ellen was not quite strong enough to accompany [them]_{4058-the young men} : it was to visit [Alice Seaton]_195-alice , whom [we]_3256-we mentioned in a former chapter . [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had succeeded in finding [[her]_195-alice brother]_{384-her brother} a lucrative employment with [a lawyer in [one of [the neighboring towns]_{6470-the neighboring towns}]_{6469-one of the neighboring towns}]_{6468-a lawyer in one of the neighboring towns} , a few miles from where [she]_195-alice and [[her]_195-alice aunt]_{367-her aunt} now lived , enabling [young Seaton]_195-alice to spend every Sabbath with [them]_{4058-the young men} ; and [Alice]_195-alice now kept [[a girls]_{6472-a girls} ' school]_{6473-a girls ' school} on [her]_195-alice own account , and conducted [herself]_195-alice so well as never to want [scholars]_{6474-scholars} . It had been a long promise to go and see [her]_195-alice , the drive from [Oakwood]_12-oakwood being also most beautiful ; and as [she]_195-alice and [[her]_195-alice brother]_{384-her brother} were both at [home]_563-home and at leisure the last day in Easter , it had been fixed upon for the visit . [Percy]_99-percy was reveling in the idea of driving [[his]_99-percy mother]_{330-his mother} and [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} in [a new barouche]_{6478-a new barouche} , and [the rest of [the party]_{4232-the party}]_{6479-the rest of the party} were to go on horse back . But a dispute had arisen who should stay with [Ellen]_113-ellen and [Edward]_76-edward insisted upon it , it was [his]_76-edward right ; and , so [they]_{6479-the rest of the party} thought it was agreed . "_[130-tiny] [I]_0-i wish , dear [Percy]_99-percy [you]_99-percy would prevail on [Edward]_76-edward to accompany [you]_99-percy , " pleaded [Ellen]_113-ellen , fancying [herself]_113-ellen alone with [him]_99-percy , not seeing [Herbert]_197-harding , who was reading at a distant table . "_[99-percy] [I]_0-i wish , [dear Ellen]_113-ellen , [you]_113-ellen were going with [us]_3260-us , " [he]_99-percy answered , mimicking [her]_113-ellen tone . "_[113-ellen] But as [I]_0-i can not , make [him]_76-edward go . It always makes [him]_76-edward more unhappy when [I]_0-i am prevented any pleasure , than it does [myself]_0-i ; and [I]_0-i can not bear to keep [him]_76-edward by [me]_0-i four or five hours , when this lovely day , and the exercise of riding , and , above all , [your]_99-percy company , [Percy]_99-percy , would make [him]_76-edward , at least for the time , almost [his]_76-edward own merry self , again . " "_{[5043-cousin]} Thanks for the implied compliment , [cousin]_5043-cousin [mine]_5043-cousin , " replied [Percy]_99-percy , with a low bow . "_{[5043-cousin]} Reward [me]_0-i for it , and make [him]_76-edward go . " "_{[5043-cousin]} How can [I]_0-i be so ungallant , as to make [him]_76-edward leave [you]_0-i alone ? " "_[0-i] Oh , [I]_0-i do not mind it , [I]_0-i assure [you]_99-percy ! [I]_0-i am well enough to amuse [myself]_0-i now ; [I]_0-i can not bear [you]_99-percy all giving up so many pleasures as [you]_99-percy have done for [me]_0-i ; [I]_0-i am so afraid of getting selfish . " "_[0-i] [You]_0-i selfish , [Ellen]_113-ellen ? [I]_0-i wish [you]_0-i were a little more so ; [you]_0-i are [the most patient , devoted little creature that ever took [woman]_1915-woman 's form]_{3262-the most patient , devoted little creature that ever took woman 's form} . [You]_0-i have made [me]_0-i reproach [myself]_0-i enough , [I]_0-i can tell [you]_99-percy , and [I]_0-i owe [you]_99-percy a grudge for doing so . " "_[99-percy] [Dear Percy]_99-percy , what can [you]_99-percy mean ? If [you]_99-percy knew how hard [I]_0-i find it to be patient , sometimes , [you]_99-percy would not praise [me]_0-i . " "_[99-percy] [I]_0-i mean that the last time [I]_0-i was at [home]_563-home , [I]_0-i was blind and cruel , and added to [your]_99-percy sufferings by [my]_0-i uncalled - for harshness , and never had an opportunity till this moment , to say how grieved [I]_0-i was — when the truth was known . " "_[0-i] Pray do not say any thing about it , [dear Percy]_99-percy , " entreated [[his]_99-percy cousin]_{2154-his cousin} , the tears starting to [her]_{2154-his cousin} eyes , as [he]_99-percy kissed [her]_{2154-his cousin} warmly ; "_[99-percy] it was only just and natural that [you]_99-percy should have felt indignant with [me]_0-i , for causing [aunt Emmeline]_78-emmeline so much misery , and alloying all the enjoyment of [your]_99-percy holidays . [I]_0-i am sure [you]_99-percy need not reproach [yourself]_99-percy ; but will [you]_99-percy make [Edward]_76-edward go ? " "_[99-percy] If it really will oblige [you]_99-percy , [Ellen]_113-ellen ; but [I]_0-i do not half like it . " And [he]_99-percy was going very reluctantly , when [he]_99-percy met [Herbert]_197-harding . "_[99-percy] [You]_99-percy need not go , [Percy]_99-percy , " [he]_99-percy said , smiling ; "_[99-percy] [[my]_0-i ungracious cousin]_{3265-my ungracious cousin} would not depute [me]_0-i as [[her]_{3265-my ungracious cousin} messenger]_{2554-her messenger} , but [I]_0-i made [myself]_0-i such , and so successfully that [Edward]_76-edward will go , [Ellen]_113-ellen . " "_[113-ellen] [Dear Herbert]_102-herbert , how can [I]_0-i thank [you]_102-herbert enough ! [he]_76-edward will be so much happier with [you]_102-herbert all . " "_[76-edward] Not with [me]_0-i , " said [Herbert]_102-herbert , archly , "_[76-edward] for [I]_0-i remain in [[his]_76-edward place]_{3267-his place} . " "_{[102-herbert]} [You]_102-herbert ! " repeated [Ellen]_113-ellen , surprised ; "_{[102-herbert]} indeed , [dear Herbert]_102-herbert , it must not be . [I]_0-i shall do very well alone . " "_[113-ellen] Ungracious still , [Ellen]_113-ellen ! what if [I]_0-i have been looking all the morning for some excuse to stay at [home]_563-home , without owning to [[my]_0-i mother]_{890-my mother} the truth — that [I]_0-i do not feel to - day quite equal to riding ? If [your]_113-ellen looks were as ungracious as [your]_113-ellen words , [I]_0-i would run away from [you]_113-ellen into [[my]_0-i own room]_{3270-my own room} ; but as they are rather more gratifying to [my]_0-i self - love , [we]_3271-their will send [them]_3272-them all away , and enjoy [our]_3271-their own quiet pleasures and [your]_113-ellen little drive together , [Nell]_113-ellen . " Whatever [Ellen]_113-ellen might have said to convince [him]_6482-him [she]_113-ellen could be happy alone , the beaming look of pleasure on [her]_113-ellen countenance , satisfied all parties as to the excellence of this arrangement ; and happy , indeed , the day was . [Herbert]_102-herbert seemed to understand [her]_113-ellen unexpressed feelings so fully ; and that always makes the charm of conversation , whatever its subject . [We]_3271-their do not require the expression in words of sympathy — it is an indescribable something that betrays its existence . [Favorite authors]_{6483-favorite authors} — and [Herbert]_102-herbert was almost surprised at [Ellen]_113-ellen 's dawning taste and judgment in literature — the delights of nature after a long confinement , as if every flower were more sweet , every bit of landscape , or wood , or water more beautiful , and the many holy thoughts and pure joys springing from such feelings , were all discussed , either cosily in [[their]_3271-their sitting - room]_{6484-their sitting - room} , or in [their]_3271-their ramble in [the garden]_{3457-the garden} ; and after [Ellen]_113-ellen 's early dinner , which [Herbert]_102-herbert shared with [her]_113-ellen as lunch , [she]_113-ellen proposed , what [she]_113-ellen knew [he]_6482-him would like , that [her]_113-ellen drive should be to [Greville Manor]_{30-greville manor} , and [they]_3271-their might spend a full hour with [[their]_3271-their friends]_{4208-their friends} , and yet be back in time . [Herbert]_102-herbert assented gladly ; and the warm welcome [they]_3271-their received , [Mrs. Greville]_{140-mrs. greville} 's kind care of [Ellen]_113-ellen , and [Mary]_143-mary 's eager chat with [her]_143-mary and [Herbert]_102-herbert , and the number of things [they]_3271-their seemed to find to talk about , made the hour literally fly ; but [Herbert]_102-herbert , enjoyable as it was , did not forget [his]_102-herbert charge , and drove [her]_113-ellen back to [Oakwood]_12-oakwood while the sun still shone bright and warmly : and when [the party]_{4232-the party} returned , which [they]_3271-their did only just in time to dress for dinner , and in the wildest spirits , the balance of pleasure at [home]_563-home and abroad , would certainly have been found quite equal . [Ellen]_113-ellen still continued quietly to lie down in [[her]_113-ellen own room]_{4399-her own room} while [the family]_{3915-the family} were at dinner , for [she]_113-ellen was then sufficiently refreshed to join [them]_{3915-the family} for a few hours in the evening . [Percy]_99-percy and [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , at dinner that day , kept up such a fire of wit and mirth , that it was somewhat difficult for [any one else]_{383-any one else} to edge in a word , though [Edward]_76-edward and [Caroline]_120-caroline did sometimes contrive to bring a whole battery against [themselves]_3271-their . Just as the dessert was placed on the table , however , sounds of rural music in the distance , advancing nearer and nearer , caused [Percy]_99-percy to pause in [his]_99-percy wild sallies , and spring with [Edward]_76-edward to the window , and [their]_3271-their exclamations soon compelled [all the party]_{6492-all the party} to follow [their]_3271-their example , and send for [Ellen]_113-ellen to see the unexpected sight too . Banners and pennons floated in the sunshine , and [the greater part of [the nautical inhabitants of [Dartmouth]_48-dartmouth]_{6494-the nautical inhabitants of dartmouth}]_{6493-the greater part of the nautical inhabitants of dartmouth} were marshaled in goodly array beside [them]_3271-their , headed by [Captain Harvey]_{226-captain harvey} and [[his]_{226-captain harvey} crew]_{6495-his crew} , with [old Collins]_{234-old collins} in the midst of [them]_3271-their ; [they]_3271-their were all attired in the new clothing which [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had presented to [them]_3271-their ; and a fine picture [Percy]_99-percy declared [old Collins]_{234-old collins} 's head would make , with [his]_{234-old collins} weather - beaten , honest - speaking face , the very peculiar curls in which [his]_{234-old collins} really yellow hair was twisted , and the quid of tobacco , from which , even on this grand occasion , [he]_{234-old collins} could not relieve [his]_{234-old collins} mouth and cheek . [A band of [young men]_{2297-young men} and [girls]_3687-girls]_{6496-a band of young men and girls} surrounded the first banner , which , adorned with large bunches of primroses and violets up the staff , bore the words , "_[113-ellen] [Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} and benevolence ; " and among [them]_{6496-a band of young men and girls} [Emmeline]_78-emmeline speedily recognized [William Grey]_{228-william grey} and [Susan Collins]_{234-old collins} , walking side by side , [she]_78-emmeline looking down and smiling , and [he]_{234-old collins} so earnestly talking , that [she]_78-emmeline whispered to [[her]_78-emmeline mother]_{345-her mother} with the greatest glee , that [her]_78-emmeline plan would take place after all . Then came [a band of [sturdy fishermen]_{6501-sturdy fishermen} , [chums]_6502-chums and [messmates of [Collins]_{234-old collins}]_{6503-messmates of collins} , and then [a band of [boys]_3688-boys and [girls]_3687-girls]_{6504-a band of boys and girls} , from all [[Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's own village schools]_{6507-mr. hamilton 's own village schools}]_{6500-a band of sturdy fishermen , chums and messmates of collins , and then a band of boys and girls , from all mr. hamilton 's own village schools} , decked in [their]_{6504-a band of boys and girls} holiday attire , and holding in [their]_{6504-a band of boys and girls} hands tasteful garlands of all the spring flowers [they]_{6504-a band of boys and girls} could muster , and bearing two large banners , one with the words , "_{[81-mrs. hamilton]} Fortescue forever ! All hail to [British sailors]_{3273-british sailors} ! " and the other a representation of the scene on [the beach]_{6191-the beach} that eventful night , and [the sinking vessel]_{6342-the sinking vessel} in the distance . The workmanship was rude indeed , but the effect so strikingly descriptive , that [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} actually shuddered as [she]_{345-her mother} gazed , and grasped , almost unconsciously , the arm of [[her]_{345-her mother} nephew]_{696-her nephew} as [he]_{696-her nephew} stood by [her]_{345-her mother} , as if the magnitude of the danger , both to [him]_{696-her nephew} and [[her]_{345-her mother} husband]_{340-her husband} , had never seemed so vivid before . The windows of [the dining - room]_{6512-the dining - room} had been thrown widely open , and as the rustic procession came in sight of [those to whom [their]_{6504-a band of boys and girls} whole hearts]_{6513-those to whom their whole hearts} tendered homage , [they]_{6504-a band of boys and girls} halted ; the music ceased , and cheer on cheer resounded , till the very echoes of [the old park]_{6514-the old park} were startled out of [their]_{6504-a band of boys and girls} sleep , and sent the shout back again . [Percy]_99-percy was among [them]_{6504-a band of boys and girls} in a moment , singling out [old Collins]_{234-old collins} , whom [he]_99-percy had tried repeatedly to see since [his]_99-percy visit [home]_563-home , but never found [him]_{234-old collins} , and grasped and shook both [his]_99-percy hands with the full vehemence of [his]_99-percy character , pouring out the first words that chose to come , which better expressed [his]_99-percy grateful feelings to [the old man]_{3798-the old man} than the most studied speech . [William Grey]_{228-william grey} had already received substantial proofs of [his]_{228-william grey} gratitude , and so [he]_{228-william grey} had then only a kind nod , and a joke and look at [the pretty , blushing Susan]_{6517-the pretty , blushing susan} , which said a vast deal to both , and seemed as if [he]_{228-william grey} quite seconded [Emmeline]_78-emmeline 's plan . Mingling joyously with all , [he]_{228-william grey} had bluff words , after [their]_{6504-a band of boys and girls} own hearts , for [the men]_{6518-the men} , smiles for [the maidens]_{6519-the maidens} , and such wild jokes for [the children]_{411-the children} , as lost [them]_3274-them all decorum , and made [them]_3274-them shout aloud in [their]_3274-them glee . [Herbert]_102-herbert seconded [him]_{228-william grey} quite as well as [his]_{228-william grey} quieter nature would allow . [Edward]_76-edward had hung back , even when [his]_76-edward name was called out lustily , as if [he]_76-edward could not bear such homage . "_{[868-my boy]} Join [them]_3274-them , [[my]_0-i boy]_{868-my boy} ; [their]_3274-them humble pleasure will not be half complete without [you]_{868-my boy} , " whispered [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , earnestly , for [she]_0-i guessed [his]_{868-my boy} thoughts . "_{[868-my boy]} Remember only at this moment the large amount of happiness [you]_{868-my boy} have been permitted to call forth . Do not underrate a deed which [all]_4750-all must admire , because of some sad thoughts ; rather resolve — as [you]_{868-my boy} can and have resolved — that the alloy shall be burned away , and the true metal alone remain , for [my]_0-i sake , to whom [you]_{868-my boy} have given such happiness , dear [Edward]_76-edward . " The cloud dispersed from brow and heart in a moment ; and [he]_{868-my boy} was in the midst of [them]_3274-them , glad and buoyant almost as [Percy]_99-percy ; while the cheer which greeted [him]_{868-my boy} was almost overpowering to [[his]_{868-my boy} sister]_{561-his sister} , so much humble , yet earnest feeling did it speak . "_{[868-my boy]} [You]_{868-my boy} really should have given [us]_3277-we timely notice of [your]_{868-my boy} intentions , [[my]_0-i good friend]_{1650-my good friend} , " said [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , warmly grasping [Captain Harvey]_{226-captain harvey} 's hand . "_{[868-my boy]} At least [we]_3277-we might have provided some substantial refreshment after [your]_{868-my boy} long march , as [I]_0-i fear [we]_3277-we have but slender fare to offer [you]_{868-my boy} , though [Ellis]_135-ellis and [Morris]_134-morris are busy already , [I]_0-i am happy to see . " And urged on by [their]_3274-them own delight at this homage both to [[their]_3274-them master]_{2212-their master} and [[his]_{2212-their master} young preserver]_{6347-his young preserver} , who had become [a complete idol among [them]_3274-them]_{6524-a complete idol among them} , a long table was speedily laid in [the servants ' hall]_{4954-the servants ' hall} , covered with a variety of cold meats , and bread and cheese in abundance , and horns of cider sparkling brightly beside each trencher . Fruit and cakes eagerly sought for by [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , were by [her]_78-emmeline distributed largely to [the children]_{411-the children} , who remained variously grouped on [the lawn]_{6527-the lawn} , [their]_{411-the children} glee at the treat heightened by the sweet and gentle manner of its bestowal . [Captain Harvey]_{226-captain harvey} and [[his]_{226-captain harvey} mate]_{6528-his mate} , [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} entertained [himself]_{226-captain harvey} , introducing [them]_3274-them to [[his]_{226-captain harvey} family]_{4086-his family} , and especially [Ellen]_113-ellen , who , as [the sister of [Edward]_76-edward]_{6530-the sister of edward} , found [herself]_113-ellen regarded with an interest that surprised [her]_113-ellen . [Percy]_99-percy brought in [old Collins]_{234-old collins} and [Grey]_{228-william grey} , both of whom had expressed such a wish to see any one so nearly belonging to [the brave young sailor]_{6531-the brave young sailor} ; and [her]_113-ellen manner of receiving and returning [their]_3274-them greeting , thanking [them]_3274-them for the help [they]_3274-them had so efficiently given [[her]_113-ellen brother]_{384-her brother} , made [them]_3274-them still prouder and happier than before . After an hour and a half of thorough enjoyment — for [their]_3274-them humble homage to worth and goodness had been received in the same spirit as it had been tendered — the procession marshaled [itself]_6533-itself in the same order as it had come ; and rude as the music was , it sounded , as [Emmeline]_78-emmeline declared , really beautiful , becoming fainter and fainter in the distance , and quite picturesque the effect of the banners and pennons , as they gleamed in and out the woody windings of [the park]_{4069-the park} , both music and [procession]_{6535-procession} softened in the mild , lovely twilight of the season . "_{[120-caroline]} [Caroline]_120-caroline ! [Emmeline]_78-emmeline ! come to [the music - room]_{5016-the music - room} , for pity 's sake , and give [me]_0-i some delicious harmony , " exclaimed [Percy]_99-percy , as soon as lights came , and the excitement of the last two hours had a little subsided . "_{[78-emmeline]} Sit quiet — unless [I]_0-i have some amusement for [my]_0-i ears — [I]_0-i neither can nor will . [I]_0-i will have some music to lull [my]_0-i tired senses , and a waltz to excite [my]_0-i wearied frame . " "_[0-i] And rest [your]_0-i limbs , " said [Edward]_76-edward , dryly . "_[0-i] Do n't [you]_0-i know , [master sailor]_{3280-master sailor} , that when fatigued with one kind of exercise , the best rest is to take another ? Now [I]_0-i have been standing up , playing the agreeable , for two mortal hours , and [I]_0-i mean to have a waltz to bring back the stagnant circulation , and to be pleased for the fatigue of pleasing . [Caroline]_120-caroline and [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , away with [you]_0-i both . [Ellen]_113-ellen , love , [I]_0-i will only ask [you]_0-i to come with [us]_3281-us , and be pleased , too . Be off , [Edward]_76-edward , [no one]_{3540-no one} shall be [[my]_0-i cousin]_{1054-my cousin} 's cavalier but [myself]_0-i ; [Herbert]_102-herbert has had [her]_{1054-my cousin} all day . Take [[my]_0-i mother]_{890-my mother} , if [you]_76-edward like . [Father]_107-father , escort [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} . That 's all right , as it always is , when [I]_0-i have [my]_0-i own way ! " [His]_76-edward own way , this time , gave universal satisfaction . The talents of [[his]_76-edward sisters]_{4486-his sisters} has been so cultivated , as a means of enhancing [home]_563-home - happiness , and increasing [their]_{4486-his sisters} own resources , that [their]_{4486-his sisters} musical evenings were always perfect enjoyment . [Caroline]_120-caroline , indeed , improved as [she]_120-caroline was , still retained [her]_120-caroline love of admiration sufficiently , to find still greater enjoyment in playing and singing when there were more to listen to [her]_120-caroline , than merely [[her]_120-caroline own family]_{4144-her own family} , but the feeling , in the security and pure atmosphere of [Oakwood]_12-oakwood , was kept under control , and [she]_120-caroline could find real pleasure in gratifying [[her]_120-caroline brothers]_{4973-her brothers} , though not quite to the same extent as [Emmeline]_78-emmeline . [Percy]_99-percy after comfortably settling [Ellen]_113-ellen , threw [himself]_99-percy on the most luxurious chair that [he]_99-percy could find , stretched out [his]_99-percy legs , placed [his]_99-percy head in what [he]_99-percy called the best position for listening and enjoying , and then called for duets on the harp and piano , single pieces on both , and song after song with the most merciless rapidity . "_[3285-you] [[Your]_3285-you sisters]_{3286-your sisters} shall neither play nor sing to [you]_3285-you any more , " [[his]_3285-you mother]_{330-his mother} , at length , laughingly said , "_[3285-you] unless [you]_3285-you rouse [yourself]_3285-you from this disgracefully idle fit , and take [your]_3285-you flute , and join [them]_{3286-your sisters} . " "_{[3430-mother]} [Mother]_3430-mother , [you]_3285-you are lost to every sensation of mercy ! after all [my]_0-i exertions , where am [I]_0-i to find breath ? " "_[3285-you] [You]_3285-you have had plenty of time to rest , [[you]_3285-you lazy fellow]_{3288-you lazy fellow} ; letting [[your]_3285-you sisters]_{3286-your sisters} fatigue [themselves]_{3286-your sisters} without remorse , and refusing [your]_3285-you share , " expostulated [Edward]_76-edward . "_{[120-caroline]} [Caroline]_120-caroline , [Emmeline]_78-emmeline take [my]_0-i advice , and strike ! do n't play another note . " "_[3285-you] [[You]_3285-you young rebel]_{3290-you young rebel} ! teaching [[my]_0-i sisters]_{3291-my sisters} to revolt against the authority of [such an important person as [myself]_0-i]_{3292-such an important person as myself} . However , [I]_0-i will be condescending for once ; [Tiny]_130-tiny , there 's a love , fetch [me]_0-i [my]_0-i flute . " It was so very close to [him]_99-percy as [he]_99-percy approached the piano , that [[his]_99-percy sister]_{561-his sister} comically took [his]_99-percy hand , and placed it on it , and two or three very pretty trios were performed , [Percy]_99-percy declared with professional éclat . "_[130-tiny] Now do n't go , [Percy]_99-percy [we]_3293-we want [your]_99-percy voice in a song . [Emmy]_121-emmy , sing that pretty one to [your]_99-percy harp , that [we]_3293-we wish papa so much to hear ; [Percy]_99-percy and [I]_0-i will join when wanted . " "_{[120-caroline]} [Caroline]_120-caroline , [I]_0-i have not the genius to sing at sight . " "_[0-i] Oh , [you]_99-percy have often ! and the words will inspire [you]_99-percy . Come , [Herbert]_102-herbert , [we]_3293-we want [you]_102-herbert , too ; [Edward]_76-edward 's singing voice , has deserted [him]_76-edward , or [I]_0-i should enlist [him]_76-edward also . [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , what are [you]_78-emmeline waiting for ? " "_{[78-emmeline]} [I]_0-i can not sing it , [dear Caroline]_120-caroline ; do not ask [me]_0-i , " answered [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , with a confusion and timidity , which , at [home]_563-home , were perfectly incomprehensible . "_[0-i] Why , [[my]_0-i little [Emmy]_121-emmy]_{3294-my little emmy} , [I]_0-i am quite curious to hear this new song ; do not disappoint [me]_0-i ! " said [[her]_{1285-my dear child} father]_{435-her father} encouragingly . "_[121-emmy] But after [Caroline]_120-caroline [I]_0-i can not sing worth hearing , " still pleaded [Emmeline]_78-emmeline . "_[0-i] [[My]_0-i dear child]_{1285-my dear child} , [I]_0-i never heard [you]_{1285-my dear child} make such a foolish excuse before ; [[your]_{1285-my dear child} mother]_{3462-your mother} and [myself]_0-i never find any difference in the pleasure that listening to [your]_{1285-my dear child} music bestows , however [one performer]_{3297-one performer} may be more naturally gifted than [the other]_{3692-the other} . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i declare [I]_0-i must sing it if it be only for the mystery of [Tiny]_130-tiny 's refusing , " said [Percy]_99-percy , laughing . "_[130-tiny] Come , [Bertie]_102-herbert — [a MS]_{3299-a ms} . too — what a trial for [one]_1058-one 's nerves ! " The words , however , seemed sufficiently satisfactory for [them]_6544-them readily to join in it . [Emmeline]_78-emmeline still hesitated , almost painfully ; but then gathering courage , [she]_78-emmeline sat down to [her]_78-emmeline harp , and , without any notes before [her]_78-emmeline , played a few bars of one of those sweet , thrilling Irish melodies so suited to [her]_78-emmeline instrument , and then commenced [her]_78-emmeline song , the sweetness of [her]_78-emmeline voice , and clearness of articulation atoning well for [her]_78-emmeline deficiency in the power and brilliancy which characterized [[her]_78-emmeline sister]_{325-her sister} . The words were exceedingly simple , but sung with deep feeling , and heart - appealing as they were , from the subject , [we]_6546-we hope [[our]_6546-we readers]_{524-our readers} will judge [them]_6544-them as leniently as [[Emmeline]_78-emmeline 's hearers]_{6548-emmeline 's hearers} . [EMMELINE]_78-emmeline 'S SONG . [Emmeline]_78-emmeline 's voice had at first trembled audibly , but seeming to derive courage from [[her]_78-emmeline sister]_{325-her sister} and [brother]_391-brother 's accompaniment , which , from [their]_6551-their knowledge of music , was so beautifully modulated as to permit [her]_78-emmeline sweet voice to be heard above all , and every word clearly distinguished , it became firmer and more earnest as [she]_78-emmeline continued , till [she]_78-emmeline forgot every thing but the subject of [her]_78-emmeline song . For full a minute there was silence as [she]_78-emmeline ceased , but with an irresistible impulse [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} rose from [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} seat , and , as [Emmeline]_78-emmeline left [her]_78-emmeline harp , [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} clasped [her]_78-emmeline in [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} arms . "_{[3299-a ms]} How can [I]_0-i thank [you]_3301-you , [[my]_0-i [Emmeline]_78-emmeline]_{1674-my emmeline} , and all [[my]_0-i children]_{3511-my children} , for this fond greeting ? " [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} exclaimed , with more emotion than [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} generally permitted to be visible . "_[3301-you] Where could [you]_3301-you find such appropriate words ? What ! tears , [[my]_0-i little girl]_{3465-my little girl} , " [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} added , as , completely overcome by the excitement of [her]_3301-you song and [[her]_3301-you father]_{435-her father} 's praise , [Emmeline]_78-emmeline most unexpectedly burst into tears . "_{[3465-my little girl]} What business have [they]_3305-they to come when [you]_3301-you have given [[your]_3301-you parents]_{1520-your parents} nothing but pleasure ? Drive [them]_{1520-your parents} away , love ; what ! still no smile ? [We]_3307-we must appeal to [mamma]_3420-mamma 's influence , then , to explain and soothe [them]_{1520-your parents} . " "_[3420-mamma] Where did [you]_3301-you get [them]_3305-they , [Tiny]_130-tiny ? explain , for [I]_0-i am positively faint from curiosity , " comically demanded [Percy]_99-percy , as [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , breaking from [[her]_78-emmeline father]_{435-her father} , sat down on [her]_78-emmeline favorite stool at [[her]_78-emmeline mother]_{345-her mother} 's feet , and hid [her]_78-emmeline face in [her]_78-emmeline lap . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} laid [her]_78-emmeline hand caressingly on those soft curls , but , though [she]_78-emmeline smiled , [she]_78-emmeline did not speak . "_[3420-mamma] [She]_3420-mamma will not tell , and [you]_3301-you will none of [you]_3301-you guess , " said [Caroline]_120-caroline , laughing . "_[3420-mamma] [You]_3301-you are in the secret , so out with it , " said [Edward]_76-edward . "_[0-i] Not [I]_0-i ; [I]_0-i am pledged to silence . " "_[183-mother] [Mother]_183-mother , [dear]_3435-dear , tell [us]_3310-we for pity , " pleaded [Herbert]_102-herbert . "_[183-mother] [I]_0-i can only guess , for [I]_0-i am not in [her]_3420-mamma confidence , [I]_0-i assure [you]_3301-you , " [she]_0-i replied , in the same playful tone , and raising [Emmeline]_78-emmeline 's lowered head , [she]_0-i looked a moment in those conscious eyes . "_[0-i] Dictated by [my]_0-i [Emmeline]_78-emmeline 's affectionate little heart , they were found in this pretty shape , in the recesses of [her]_78-emmeline own fanciful brain — is not that it , [dearest]_861-dearest ? " "_[121-emmy] There , [Emmy]_121-emmy , [I]_0-i knew [mamma]_3420-mamma would find it out , however [we]_3310-we might be silent , " said [Caroline]_120-caroline , triumphantly , as [[her]_120-caroline sister]_{325-her sister} 's face was again concealed . "_[3420-mamma] [Emmeline]_78-emmeline turned [poet]_3313-poet ! [Angels]_241-angels and [ministers of grace]_{3314-ministers of grace} defend [me]_0-i ! [I]_0-i must hide [my]_0-i diminished head ! " spouted [Percy]_99-percy . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i thought at least [I]_0-i might retain [my]_0-i crown as [the poet of [the family]_{3915-the family}]_{3315-the poet of the family} , and to be rivaled by [you]_121-emmy — [a light - footed fawn — wild gazelle — airy sprite]_{3317-a light - footed fawn — wild gazelle — airy sprite} — [my]_0-i especial Tiny ! it is unbearable ! " "_[121-emmy] But [we]_3310-we must all thank [you]_121-emmy , notwithstanding , [Emmy]_121-emmy , " continued [Herbert]_102-herbert . "_[121-emmy] Ah , but [I]_0-i have very little to do with it ; the arrangement of the words to the air , and the accompaniment , are [Caroline]_120-caroline 's ; [I]_0-i could not have done that , " said [Emmeline]_78-emmeline ; [her]_0-i tears changed to [her]_0-i most joyous smiles . [Percy]_99-percy and [[his]_99-percy father]_{406-his father} turned directly to [Caroline]_120-caroline , the former with a Sir [Charles Grandison]_{242-charles grandison} 's bow , [the other]_{3692-the other} with a most affectionate kiss ; and [[her]_120-caroline mother]_{345-her mother} looked at [her]_120-caroline with such an expression of gratified pleasure , that [she]_{345-her mother} could not help acknowledging to [herself]_{345-her mother} , such pure enjoyment was not to be found in the praise and admiration of [strangers]_{3543-strangers} . "_[0-i] Now , [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , [you]_78-emmeline have still a mystery to explain , " said [Edward]_76-edward . "_{[78-emmeline]} Why did [you]_78-emmeline not own [[your]_78-emmeline offspring]_{3318-your offspring} , instead of , by silence , almost denying [them]_{3318-your offspring} ? " "_{[78-emmeline]} And here [I]_0-i really can not help [you]_78-emmeline , " answered [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} ; "_[0-i] [I]_0-i can not imagine why [my]_0-i Emmy should conceal a fact that could only give pleasure to [us]_3319-us all . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i think [I]_0-i know , " said [Ellen]_113-ellen , timidly ; "_[0-i] [Emmeline]_78-emmeline was thinking of all [you]_78-emmeline said about controlling an impulse , and not always encouraging that which [she]_78-emmeline termed inspiration , and perhaps [she]_78-emmeline thought [you]_78-emmeline did not quite approve of [her]_78-emmeline writing , and so wished to conceal it . " "_{[78-emmeline]} How could [you]_0-i guess so exactly , [Ellen]_113-ellen ? " hastily answered [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , forgetting , in [her]_78-emmeline surprise at [[her]_78-emmeline cousin]_{4159-her cousin} 's penetration , that [she]_78-emmeline betrayed [herself]_78-emmeline . "_[0-i] Because [I]_0-i should have felt the same , " said [Ellen]_113-ellen , simply . "_[0-i] Then [I]_0-i must have explained [myself]_0-i very badly , [[my]_0-i dear children]_{1486-my dear children} , or [you]_{1486-my dear children} must have both misunderstood [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i did not mean [you]_{1486-my dear children} to neglect such on enjoyment as poetry , but only to keep it in its proper sphere , and not allow it to take the place of resources , equally intellectual , but which have and may still cost [you]_{1486-my dear children} more patience and labor . Poetry is a dangerous gift , [[my]_0-i dear child]_{1285-my dear child} ; but as long as [you]_{1486-my dear children} bring it to [the common treasury of [Home]_563-home]_{3322-the common treasury of home} , and regard it merely as a recreation , only to be enjoyed when less attractive duties and studies are completed , [you]_{1486-my dear children} have [my]_0-i full permission to cultivate — and try , by the study of [[our]_3324-our best authors]_{3325-our best authors} , and whatever other help [I]_0-i can obtain for [you]_{1486-my dear children} , to improve [yourself]_{1486-my dear children} in it . No talent that is lent [us]_3324-our should be thrown aside , [[my]_0-i [Emmeline]_78-emmeline]_{1674-my emmeline} ; [our]_3324-our only care must be , not — by loving and pursuing it too intensely — to abuse it ; but [I]_0-i must not lecture [you]_{1486-my dear children} any longer , or [Percy]_99-percy 's patience will fail ; [I]_0-i see [he]_99-percy has placed [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} already at the piano , and [Edward]_76-edward and [Caroline]_120-caroline are ready for [their]_3327-their waltz . " "_{[120-caroline]} And so [I]_0-i transform [one Muse]_{3110-one muse} into another , " exclaimed [Percy]_99-percy , who , in [[his]_99-percy sister]_{561-his sister} 's absorbed attention , had neared [her]_{561-his sister} unobserved , and catching [her]_{561-his sister} round the waist , bore [her]_{561-his sister} to the upper end of [the room]_{356-the room} , and a minute afterward [she]_{561-his sister} was enjoying [her]_{561-his sister} waltz , with as much childish glee , as if neither poetry nor reflection could have any thing to do with [her]_{561-his sister} . "_[0-i] Why is poetry a dangerous gift , [dear aunt]_{3449-dear aunt} ? " inquired [Ellen]_113-ellen , who had listened earnestly to all [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had said . "_[0-i] Because , [my]_0-i love , it is very apt to excite and encourage an over - excess of feeling ; gives a habit of seeing things other than they really are , and engenders a species of romantic enthusiasm , most dangerous to [the young]_{2609-the young} , especially of [our]_3331-our sex , whose feelings generally require control and repression , even when not joined to poetry . To a well - regulated mind and temper , the danger is not of the same serious kind as to the irregulated , but merely consists in the powerful temptation it too often presents to neglect duties and employments of more consequence , for its indulgence . There is a species of fascination in the composition of even the most inferior poetry , which urges its pursuit , as giving so little trouble , compared to the perseverance necessary for music and drawing , and such a vast amount of pleasure , that it is difficult to withdraw from it . This is still more strongly the case when [the young]_{2609-the young} first become conscious of the gift , as [Emmeline]_78-emmeline is now . As [she]_78-emmeline gets older , and [her]_78-emmeline taste improves , [she]_78-emmeline will not be satisfied with [her]_78-emmeline efforts , unless they are very superior to the present , and the trouble [she]_78-emmeline will take in correcting and improving , will remove a great deal of the too dangerous fascination attending it now ; still [I]_0-i am not anxious , while [she]_78-emmeline retains [her]_78-emmeline confidence in [my]_0-i affection and experience , and will so control the enjoyment , as not to permit its interference with [her]_78-emmeline other more serious employments . " [Ellen]_113-ellen listened eagerly , and [they]_6563-they continued conversing on many similar topics of interest and improvement , till the prayer bell rang , and startled [her]_113-ellen into the recollection that [she]_113-ellen had always retired nearly an hour before , and so had avoided entering [the library]_{3958-the library} , which [she]_113-ellen still quite shrunk from . [Percy]_99-percy stopped [his]_99-percy dance , which [he]_99-percy had converted from a waltz into a most inspiring gallopade , the last importation , [he]_99-percy declared , from [Almack]_243-almack 's ; [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} closed the piano ; and [Herbert]_102-herbert paused in [his]_102-herbert conversation with [[his]_102-herbert father]_{406-his father} . Nothing like gloom ever marked the signal for the hour of devotion , but lighter pleasures always ceased a few minutes before , that [they]_6563-they might better realize the more serious thought and service . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had never ceased to regret the disgrace [she]_113-ellen had inflicted on [Ellen]_113-ellen , in not permitting [her]_113-ellen to retain [her]_113-ellen own place with [the family]_{3915-the family} , at least in the hours of devotion , for it seemed more difficult to remove that impression than any of [her]_113-ellen other trials . Returning [[her]_0-i niece]_{372-her niece} 's startled look with one of the sincerest affection , [she]_0-i said — "_[3333-her] [You]_3333-her will remain with [us]_3334-us to - night , [[my]_0-i dear]_{3485-my dear} [Ellen]_113-ellen , will [you]_3333-her not ? " "_[1460-aunt] If [you]_3333-her wish it , [aunt]_1460-aunt . " "_[1460-aunt] [I]_0-i do wish it , [dearest]_861-dearest , most earnestly . It is so long since [I]_0-i have had the happiness of seeing all [[my]_0-i children]_{3511-my children} round [me]_0-i in this solemn hour , and till [you]_3333-her join [us]_3334-us , [I]_0-i can not feel quite sure that [you]_3333-her have indeed forgiven an act of severity , which , could [I]_0-i but have suspected the truth , [I]_0-i should never have inflicted . " "_{[3339-forgiven!—you]} [Forgiven!—you]_{3339-forgiven!—you} ! " repeated [Ellen]_113-ellen , in utter astonishment , but rising instantly . "_{[78-emmeline]} [Aunt Emmeline]_78-emmeline , dear aunt [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , pray , do not speak so ; why did [you]_3333-her not tell [me]_0-i [your]_3333-her wish before ? [I]_0-i would have conquered [my]_0-i own disinclination to enter [the library]_{3958-the library} , weeks ago ; indeed , indeed , it only seemed associated with [my]_0-i own guilt and misery . " [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} drew [her]_3333-her arm fondly in [hers]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , refusing for [her]_3333-her the aid of [either of [the young men]_{4058-the young men} , who had all hastened toward [her]_3333-her , and led [her]_3333-her [herself]_3333-her to [the library]_{3958-the library} , and to [[her]_3333-her usual place beside [Emmeline]_78-emmeline]_{6571-her usual place beside emmeline}]_{6568-either of the young men , who had all hastened toward her , and led her herself to the library , and to her usual place beside emmeline} . Many an eager but respectful look of affectionate admiration was directed toward [her]_3333-her by [the assembled household]_{6572-the assembled household} , [the greater part of whom had not seen [her]_3333-her since the night of [Edward]_76-edward 's confession]_{6573-the greater part of whom had not seen her since the night of edward 's confession} ; and the alteration in [her]_3333-her appearance , the universal sympathy which [her]_3333-her dangerous illness and its cause had called forth , even in the humblest and most ignorant — for it is the heart , not the mind , which is required for the comprehension of self - devotion — [her]_3333-her very youth seeming to increase its magnitude , had inspired such a feeling of love , that could [she]_3333-her have known it , would have prevented that painful sensation of shyness . Many , many thoughts thronged [her]_3333-her mind , as [[her]_3333-her uncle]_{519-her uncle} 's impressive voice fell on [her]_3333-her ear ; thoughts which , though they prevented [her]_3333-her following the words of the prayers , and caused the tears , spite of every effort , to stream through [her]_3333-her slender fingers , yet turned into thankfulness and praise , ere the service ceased , that , fiery as the ordeal had been , [she]_3333-her could still recognize a hand of love , and bless [God]_85-god , not only for the detection of [her]_3333-her involuntary sin , but for every pang [she]_3333-her had endured . The next day was Sunday , bringing with it all sorts of quiet , sober pleasures of its own , only alloyed by the thought that it was the last day of [Percy]_99-percy 's and [Herbert]_102-herbert 's visit . The following morning [they]_{6572-the assembled household} started for [Oxford]_36-oxford , [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} and [Edward]_76-edward intending to accompany [them]_{6572-the assembled household} part of the way , and then to proceed to [Ashburton]_72-ashburton , where [the former]_{313-the former} had business , and then make a little tour through [[Plymouth]_47-plymouth home]_{6576-plymouth home} . The next day was so beautifully fine and genial , that [Emmeline]_78-emmeline declared it would do [Ellen]_113-ellen the greatest possible good to go with [her]_113-ellen a few miles out of [the park]_{4069-the park} , to see [a waterfall [she]_113-ellen had lately discovered , and which [she]_113-ellen had been longing for [Ellen]_113-ellen to see]_{6578-a waterfall she had lately discovered , and which she had been longing for ellen to see} , as [Caroline]_120-caroline would not admire it as much as it deserved . [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} accompanied [them]_6579-them , and on [their]_6579-them return , [its]_6580-its beauties were described to [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} in the most animating strain ; [Emmeline]_78-emmeline declaring the air was more deliciously fresh , the trees more green , the sky more brilliantly blue , than they had ever been before ; and that the very sound of the water , as it dashed down a black rock , and threw up spray , which the rays of the sun rendered so beautifully iridescent , as to seem like a succession of rainbows , was a whole volume of poetry in itself . "_[3341-you] And what extraordinary vision do [you]_3341-you think [that silly cousin of mine]_{3342-that silly cousin of mine} chose to fancy [she]_{3342-that silly cousin of mine} saw coming down [the Ashburton road]_{3343-the ashburton road} , [mamma]_3420-mamma ? Actually the apparitions of [papa]_3546-papa and [Edward]_76-edward . [She]_{3342-that silly cousin of mine} will persist in the fancy . [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} and [I]_0-i could only see [two men on horseback]_{3346-two men on horseback} , at too great a distance for any identity to be recognized — but it must be [their]_{3346-two men on horseback} wraiths , if it be , for [they]_{3346-two men on horseback} had no idea of coming [home]_563-home to - day . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i am sure [I]_0-i was not mistaken , [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , " said [Ellen]_113-ellen ( whom [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} now observed looked agitated and flushed ) ; "_[0-i] and [they]_{3346-two men on horseback} were riding so fast , something very pressing must have recalled [them]_{3346-two men on horseback} . " "_[0-i] And [you]_78-emmeline are frightening [yourself]_78-emmeline at shadows , [[my]_0-i dear]_{3485-my dear} ! but indeed [I]_0-i think [you]_78-emmeline must be mistaken , for [[your]_78-emmeline uncle]_{3427-your uncle} told [me]_0-i , [he]_{3427-your uncle} should be particularly engaged to - day , " said [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} . "_[3350-she] [She]_3350-she is not mistaken , though , " exclaimed [Caroline]_120-caroline , who was standing at one of the windows ; "_[3350-she] for here [they]_{3346-two men on horseback} both are , true enough , and riding quite fast down [the avenue]_{998-the avenue} . However , the mystery will soon be solved . " [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} and [Edward]_76-edward entered almost immediately afterward , [the latter]_{608-the latter} evidently very much agitated , the former so tranquil and cheerful that the momentary anxiety of [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} wife]_{521-his wife} was calmed directly . [He]_{81-mrs. hamilton} laughed at [their]_{3346-two men on horseback} bewilderment , and said that an important letter had reached [him]_{81-mrs. hamilton} at [Ashburton]_72-ashburton , summoning [him]_{81-mrs. hamilton} to [Plymouth]_47-plymouth , and so [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} thought [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} would just see how all was going on at [Oakwood]_12-oakwood first . This was not at all a satisfactory reason from [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} . [Edward]_76-edward evidently tried to answer [Ellen]_113-ellen 's inquiries quietly , but [he]_76-edward could not , and exclaiming , "_[3352-you] [You]_3352-you tell [her]_3353-her , [[my]_0-i dear uncle]_{1937-my dear uncle} ! [I]_0-i can not , " ran out of [the room]_{356-the room} . [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} instantly changed [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} jesting manner , so far as quietly and affectionately to seat [[his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} niece]_{6424-his niece} beside [him]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , and tell [her]_113-ellen , cautiously and kindly , the real cause of [their]_6586-their unexpected return . [Orders]_244-orders had been sent to [the Sea Queen]_{3247-the sea queen} , to sail much sooner than was expected , and therefore [he]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had deferred [his]_{81-mrs. hamilton} business , and returned with [Edward]_76-edward directly . "_[0-i] It is a trial , [[my]_0-i dear]_{3485-my dear} [Ellen]_113-ellen , a very hard one just now , under all circumstances ; but [I]_0-i am sure [you]_113-ellen will bear it with fortitude , for [Edward]_76-edward 's sake . The only drawback to [his]_76-edward happiness in being again permitted to follow [his]_76-edward profession , is the thought of the trial , it will be to [you]_113-ellen . " "_[113-ellen] But when must [we]_3356-we part ? When must [he]_76-edward leave [Oakwood]_12-oakwood ? " was all poor [Ellen]_113-ellen could ask ; but in such a tone of quiet sorrow , [[her]_113-ellen uncle]_{519-her uncle} could not for the moment reply . "_{[3247-the sea queen]} [The Sea Queen]_{3247-the sea queen} leaves [Plymouth]_47-plymouth , wind permitting , the end of the week , but — [Edward]_76-edward must be on board to - morrow . " A low cry escaped involuntarily from [Ellen]_113-ellen 's lips , as [she]_113-ellen buried [her]_113-ellen face on the cushion of the couch where [she]_113-ellen was sitting , and an exclamation of surprise and regret broke from all . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} felt it almost as much as [Ellen]_113-ellen , from not only [her]_0-i own unspoken anxiety , as to whether indeed [his]_76-edward home influence would save [him]_76-edward from temptation in future , but that [she]_0-i could enter into every thought and feeling which in [Ellen]_113-ellen must so aggravate the actual parting — always a sorrow in itself . After a few minutes [Ellen]_113-ellen raised [her]_113-ellen head , and , though [her]_113-ellen cheek was perfectly colorless , every tear was checked . "_[76-edward] Tell [Edward]_76-edward [he]_76-edward need not fear [my]_0-i weakness , [dear [Emmeline]_78-emmeline]_{3358-dear emmeline} , " [she]_0-i said , trying hard to speak quite calmly . "_{[78-emmeline]} Only beg [him]_76-edward to come to [me]_0-i , that [we]_3359-we may spend the little time [we]_3359-we have together ; [I]_0-i will be as cheerful as [himself]_76-edward . " And , effort as it was , [she]_113-ellen kept [her]_113-ellen word ; so controlling sorrow , to enter into [his]_76-edward naturally glad anticipations , that [[her]_113-ellen brother]_{384-her brother} felt as if [he]_76-edward could not love , nor venerate [her]_113-ellen enough . [He]_76-edward was obliged to leave [Oakwood]_12-oakwood ( accompanied by [[his]_76-edward uncle]_{443-his uncle} ) so early the next morning , that all [his]_76-edward preparations had to be completed by that night . [Ellis]_135-ellis 's activity , though [she]_113-ellen could not endure the idea of [his]_76-edward going , speedily and satisfactorily settled that matter . [Robert Langford]_209-robert , who had only regained [his]_209-robert natural light - heartedness since [Ellen]_113-ellen had taken [her]_113-ellen usual place in [the family]_{3915-the family} , always declaring [his]_209-robert carelessness had been the origin of all [her]_113-ellen misery , was another so active in [his]_209-robert service , that [Edward]_76-edward had only to give a hint of any thing [he]_76-edward wanted , even if it could only be procured at some distance , and it was instantly obtained . The hours wore on , the evening devotions were concluded , but still [the family]_{3915-the family} lingered in [the library]_{3958-the library} : so many things there seemed to say , for [Mr. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} and [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} would not let the conversation flag , and [Edward]_76-edward would talk and laugh , as if [he]_76-edward were only going from [home]_563-home for a few days . Midnight chimed , but still [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} felt as if [she]_0-i could not give the signal for separation : but when one struck , there was a general start , and an unanimous declaration it could not be so late . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i assure [you]_3360-you it is , " [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} cheerfully said ; "_[0-i] and poor [Edward]_76-edward will get no sleep , if [we]_3361-we do not separate at once . [He]_76-edward must certainly send [you]_3360-you a box of artificial roses , for this unusual dissipation will bear all the natural ones away . [Ellen]_113-ellen , love , [I]_0-i must be cruel enough to resist that pleading look ; remember , [your]_3360-you full strength has not yet returned . " [She]_0-i spoke kindly , but firmly , and there was a general move . [Edward]_76-edward laughingly promised to send [[his]_76-edward cousins]_{4672-his cousins} the very best box of rouge [he]_76-edward could procure at [Plymouth]_47-plymouth , and wished [them]_{4672-his cousins} good night as gayly as if [they]_{4672-his cousins} should meet as usual the next morning . Once only [his]_76-edward voice faltered—"Ellen_[113-ellen] , love , good night ! [[My]_0-i own sister]_{3526-my own sister} , [God]_85-god in Heaven bless [you]_3360-you ! " were all [he]_76-edward said , the last sentence escaping as if involuntarily , as if [he]_76-edward had merely meant to say good night ; and for more than a minute [the brother]_{6596-the brother} and [sister]_486-sister were clasped in [each other]_{938-each other} 's arms . There were tears in [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's eyes , and [[her]_0-i husband]_{340-her husband} 's were most unwontedly dim , for words were not needed to reveal to [them]_{4672-his cousins} the trial of that moment to [those two young hearts]_{6600-those two young hearts} . To [Ellen]_113-ellen 's especially , for [her]_113-ellen lot was [woman's]_6601-woman's — to endure until time should prove the reality of [Edward]_76-edward 's resolution , and mark [him]_76-edward indeed the noble character [his]_76-edward disposition so fondly promised . [His]_76-edward was active service , the banishment of thought by deed . Breaking from [[her]_113-ellen brother]_{384-her brother} , and not daring to address either [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} or [uncle]_3425-uncle , lest [her]_113-ellen control should fail [her]_113-ellen too soon , [Ellen]_113-ellen hastened from [the room]_{356-the room} . "_[85-god] Go to [her]_3363-her , [aunt Emmeline]_78-emmeline ; oh , tell [her]_3363-her [I]_0-i will never , never cause [her]_3363-her to suffer again ! " implored [Edward]_76-edward , as soon as [he]_76-edward could speak , and clasping [[his]_76-edward aunt]_{365-his aunt} 's hand . "_[0-i] [She]_3363-her has been struggling with [herself]_3363-her the whole evening for [my]_0-i sake , and [she]_3363-her will suffer for it to - morrow , unless [she]_3363-her give it vent , and [she]_3363-her will weep less painfully if [you]_0-i speak of comfort . " "_[3363-her] [She]_3363-her will be better alone a little while , [[my]_0-i dear boy]_{1168-my dear boy} ; young as [she]_3363-her is , [she]_3363-her knows where to seek and find comfort , and [her]_3363-her tears would flow more freely , conscious only of the presence and healing of [[her]_3363-her God]_{5369-her god} . [I]_0-i shall not part from [you]_{1168-my dear boy} now . [Ellis]_135-ellis wanted [me]_0-i for some directions about [your]_{1168-my dear boy} things , and [I]_0-i will come to [you]_{1168-my dear boy} in [[your]_{1168-my dear boy} room]_{1833-your room} afterward . " [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} knew the human heart well . When [she]_0-i went to [Ellen]_113-ellen , the paroxysm of natural sorrow had had vent , and [her]_3363-her sympathy , [her]_3363-her earnestly expressed conviction that the trial of beholding error and remorse in [one so beloved]_{2226-one so beloved} would not occur again , could bring comfort . The tears indeed might still have flowed the faster , perhaps , at the voice of kindness , but there was healing in them ; and when [[her]_0-i aunt]_{367-her aunt} left [her]_0-i to go to [Edward]_76-edward , [she]_0-i sent [him]_76-edward a fond message that [she]_0-i was better , and in a few days would be happy , quite happy , for [his]_76-edward sake . It was late before [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} quitted [[her]_0-i nephew]_{696-her nephew} . [We]_6610-we will not repeat all that passed between [them]_6610-we , all that [that fond watchful relative]_{6611-that fond watchful relative} so earnestly , so appealingly said . Not much in actual words of counsel had [she]_0-i ever before addressed to [him]_76-edward , feeling that that duty was better performed by [Mr. Howard]_{128-mr. howard} and [[his]_76-edward uncle]_{443-his uncle} . [She]_0-i had simply tried to influence [him]_76-edward by the power of love , of forbearance , of sympathy with [his]_76-edward remorse , and pity for [his]_76-edward errors . In the wretchedness , the fearful anxiety , [Ellen]_113-ellen 's danger and painful illness had occasioned [herself]_0-i individually , [she]_0-i had never spoken , or even let fall a sentence which could reproach [him]_76-edward as the cause of all ; and therefore , now that [she]_0-i did give [her]_0-i anxious affection words , they were so spoken , that [[her]_0-i nephew]_{696-her nephew} never forgot them . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i feel now , " [he]_76-edward had said , near the conclusion of [their]_6614-their interview , "_[0-i] as if nothing could tempt [me]_0-i to err again ; but oh , [aunt Emmeline]_78-emmeline , so [I]_0-i thought when [I]_0-i left [home]_563-home before ; and its influences all left [me]_0-i as if [they]_3368-they had never been . It may be so again and — and — are there not [such doomed wretches]_{3369-such doomed wretches} , making all [they]_{3369-such doomed wretches} love best most miserable ? " "_{[3369-such doomed wretches]} Not , indeed , if [they]_{3369-such doomed wretches} will take [[their]_{3369-such doomed wretches} home]_{4033-their home} influences with [them]_{3369-such doomed wretches} , [[my]_0-i beloved boy]_{3371-my beloved boy} . [They]_{3369-such doomed wretches} deserted [you]_{3371-my beloved boy} before because , by the insidious sentiments of [a most unhappy man]_{3372-a most unhappy man} , [your]_{3371-my beloved boy} religion was shaken , and [you]_{3371-my beloved boy} flung aside with scorn and misbelief the only safety for [the young]_{2609-the young} — [God]_85-god 's most Holy Word . The influences of [[your]_{3371-my beloved boy} home]_{1726-your home} are based on that alone , [[my]_0-i [Edward]_76-edward]_{3531-my edward} . [They]_3376-they appear perhaps to [the casual observer]_{3377-the casual observer} as only love , indulgence , peace , and the joy springing from innocent and happy hearts ; but these are mere flowers springing from one immortal root . In [God]_85-god 's Word alone is [our]_3378-our safety , there alone [our]_3378-our strength and [our]_3378-our joy ; and that may be [yours]_{3371-my beloved boy} still , [[my]_0-i boy]_{868-my boy} , though far away from [us]_3378-our , and in [a little world with interests and temptations of its own]_{3380-a little world with interests and temptations of its own} . Take this little Bible ; it has been [[my]_0-i constant companion]_{3381-my constant companion} for eighteen years , and to none but to [yourself]_{3371-my beloved boy} would [I]_0-i part with it . If [you]_{3371-my beloved boy} fear [your]_{3371-my beloved boy} better feelings failing , read it , be guided by it , if at first only for the sake of those [you]_{3371-my beloved boy} love ; [I]_0-i do not fear , but that very soon [you]_{3371-my beloved boy} will do so for [its]_3382-its own sake . It bears a name within it which [I]_0-i think will ever keep it sacred in [your]_{3371-my beloved boy} care , as it has been in [mine]_0-i . " [Edward]_76-edward opened it eagerly , "_{[245-charles manvers]} [Charles Manvers]_{245-charles manvers} ! " [he]_76-edward exclaimed ; "_{[245-charles manvers]} [[My]_0-i own sailor - uncle]_{3383-my own sailor - uncle} , whose memory [you]_{3371-my beloved boy} have so taught [me]_0-i to love . It is indeed a spell , [dear aunt]_{3449-dear aunt} , and [you]_{3371-my beloved boy} shall never regret a gift so precious . But how came it [yours]_{3371-my beloved boy} ? " "_{[3383-my own sailor - uncle]} [He]_{3383-my own sailor - uncle} came to [me]_0-i just before starting for [his]_{3383-my own sailor - uncle} last trip , entreating [me]_0-i to exchange Bibles with [him]_{3383-my own sailor - uncle} , that in [our]_3385-our most serious moments [we]_3385-our might think of [each other]_{938-each other} . It was such an unusually serious speech for [him]_{3383-my own sailor - uncle} , that it seemed to thrill [me]_0-i with a vague forboding , which was only too soon realized . [I]_0-i never saw [him]_{3383-my own sailor - uncle} again ; and that little book indeed increased in value . " [Her]_0-i voice faltered , for even yet the memory of [[her]_0-i brother]_{384-her brother} was so dear to [her]_0-i that [she]_0-i could never speak of [him]_{3383-my own sailor - uncle} without emotion . [Edward]_76-edward reiterated [his]_76-edward eager assurance that it should be equally valuable to [him]_76-edward , adding — "_[0-i] [I]_0-i have often had strange fancies about [uncle Charles]_76-edward , [aunt]_1460-aunt , and longed for the command of [a ship]_{3845-a ship} , to scour [the coast of [Algiers]_20-algiers]_{3389-the coast of algiers} , and learn something more about [the Leander]_{110-the leander} . Somehow or other , [I]_0-i never can believe [he]_{3383-my own sailor - uncle} was drowned , and yet to think of [him]_{3383-my own sailor - uncle} as [a slave]_{3477-a slave} is terrible . " "_[76-edward] And not likely , [[my]_0-i dear boy]_{1168-my dear boy} ; think of the lapse of years . But painful as it is , [we]_3392-we must separate , [Edward]_76-edward : [I]_0-i must not detain [you]_{1168-my dear boy} from rest and sleep any longer . Only give [me]_0-i one promise — if ever [you]_{1168-my dear boy} are led into temptation and error again , and it may be — for [our]_3392-we strongest resolutions sometimes fail [us]_3392-we — write to [me]_0-i without the smallest hesitation , openly , freely ; tell [me]_0-i all , and if [you]_{1168-my dear boy} need aid , ask it , and [I]_0-i will give it ; and , if it be possible , avert [[your]_{1168-my dear boy} uncle]_{3427-your uncle} 's displeasure . [I]_0-i have no fear that , in telling [you]_{1168-my dear boy} this , [I]_0-i am weakening [your]_{1168-my dear boy} resolution , but only to prevent one fault becoming many by concealment — from dread of anger , and therein the supposed impossibility of amendment . Remember , [[my]_0-i beloved boy]_{3371-my beloved boy} , [you]_{1168-my dear boy} have a claim on [me]_0-i which no error nor fault can remove ; as , under providence , [the preserver of [[my]_0-i husband]_{3521-my husband}]_{3395-the preserver of my husband} , [I]_0-i can never change the anxious love [I]_0-i bear [you]_{1168-my dear boy} . [You]_{1168-my dear boy} may indeed make [me]_0-i very miserable , but [I]_0-i know [you]_{1168-my dear boy} will not : [you]_{1168-my dear boy} will let [me]_0-i look on [your]_{1168-my dear boy} noble deed with all the love , the admiration , it deserves . Promise [me]_0-i that , under any difficulty or error , small or great , [you]_{1168-my dear boy} will write to [me]_0-i as [you]_{1168-my dear boy} would have done to [[your]_{1168-my dear boy} own beloved mother]_{3397-your own beloved mother} , and [I]_0-i shall have no fear remaining . " [Edward]_76-edward did promise , but [his]_76-edward heart was so full [he]_76-edward could not restrain [himself]_76-edward any longer , and as [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} folded [him]_76-edward to [her]_{3397-your own beloved mother} heart , in a silent but tearful embrace , [he]_76-edward wept on [her]_{3397-your own beloved mother} shoulder like [a child]_{265-a child} . Brightly and placidly , as the course of [[their]_6617-their own beautiful river]_{6618-their own beautiful river} , did the days now pass to [the inmates of [Oakwood]_12-oakwood]_{5342-the inmates of oakwood} . Letters came from [Edward]_76-edward so frequently , so happily , that hope would rest calmly , joyously , even on the thought of [him]_76-edward . [He]_76-edward never let an opportunity pass , writing always to [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} ( which [he]_76-edward had scarcely ever done before ) , and inclosing [his]_76-edward letters to [Ellen]_113-ellen open in [hers]_113-ellen . The tone , the frequency , were so changed from [his]_76-edward last , that [[his]_76-edward family]_{4086-his family} now wondered [they]_{4086-his family} had been so blind before in not perceiving that [his]_76-edward very seeming liveliness was unnatural and overstrained . With [Ellen]_113-ellen , too , [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} 's anxious care was bringing in fair promise of success — the mistaken influences of [her]_113-ellen childhood , and their increased effect from a morbid imagination , produced from constant suffering , appearing , indeed , about to be wholly eradicated . Anxious to remove all sad associations connected with [the library]_{3958-the library} , [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} having determined [herself]_{81-mrs. hamilton} to superintend [Ellen]_113-ellen 's studies , passed long mornings in [that ancient room]_{6622-that ancient room} with [her]_113-ellen , so delightfully , that it became associated only with [the noble authors whose works , or extracts from whom , [she]_113-ellen read and reveled in , and which filled [her]_113-ellen mind with such new thoughts , such expansive ideas , such calming and earnest truths , that [she]_113-ellen felt becoming to [herself]_113-ellen a new being]_{6623-the noble authors whose works , or extracts from whom , she read and reveled in , and which filled her mind with such new thoughts , such expansive ideas , such calming and earnest truths , that she felt becoming to herself a new being} . Lively and thoughtless as [Emmeline]_78-emmeline [she]_113-ellen could not now indeed become — alike as [their]_6624-their dispositions naturally were ; but [she]_113-ellen was more quietly , enduringly happy than [she]_113-ellen had ever remembered [her]_113-ellen self . There was only one alloy , one sad thought , that would intrude causing a resolution , which [none]_2189-none suspected ; for , open as [she]_113-ellen had become , [she]_113-ellen could breathe it to none but [Ellis]_135-ellis , for [she]_113-ellen alone could assist [her]_113-ellen , though it required many persuasions and many assurances , that [she]_113-ellen never could be quite happy , unless it was accomplished , which could prevail on [her]_113-ellen to grant it . [Ellen]_113-ellen knew , felt , more and more each week , that [she]_113-ellen could not rest till [she]_113-ellen had labored for and obtained , and returned into [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} 's hands the full sum [she]_113-ellen had so involuntarily appropriated . The only means [she]_113-ellen could adopt demanded such a seemingly interminable period of self - denial , patience , and perseverance , that at first as [Ellis]_135-ellis represented and magnified all connected with it , [she]_113-ellen felt as if , indeed , [she]_113-ellen could not nerve [herself]_113-ellen for the task , much as [she]_113-ellen desired to perform it ; but prayer enabled [her]_113-ellen to face the idea , till it lost its most painful aspect , and three months after [Edward]_76-edward 's departure [she]_113-ellen commenced the undertaking , resolved that neither time nor difficulty should deter [her]_113-ellen from its accomplishment . What [her]_113-ellen plan was , and whether it succeeded , [we]_6627-we may not here inform [[our]_6627-we readers]_{524-our readers} . Should [we]_6627-we be permitted to resume [our]_6627-we History of [the Hamilton Family]_{3959-the hamilton family} , both will be revealed . Greatly to [Caroline]_120-caroline 's delight , the following October was fixed for [them]_{3959-the hamilton family} to leave [Oakwood]_12-oakwood , and , after a pleasant tour , to make the long anticipated visit to [London]_13-london . There would then be three or four months ' quiet for [her]_120-caroline to have the benefit of [masters]_548-masters , before [she]_120-caroline was introduced , and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} fondly hoped , that the last year 's residence at [home]_563-home , fraught as it had been with so much of domestic trial , and displaying so many hopeful and admirable traits in [Caroline]_120-caroline 's disposition , would have lessened the danger of the ordeal of admiration and gayety which [she]_113-ellen so dreaded for [[her]_113-ellen child]_{350-her child} — whether it had or not , [a future page]_{6633-a future page} will disclose . To [Emmeline]_78-emmeline this arrangement was a source of extreme regret , individually , in which [Ellen]_113-ellen now quite sympathized . But [Emmeline]_78-emmeline had never forgotten [[her]_78-emmeline mother]_{345-her mother} 's gentle hint , that too great indulgence of regret or sorrow becomes selfishness , and [she]_78-emmeline tried very hard to create some anticipation of pleasure , even in [London]_13-london . [Ellen]_113-ellen would not look to pleasure , but merely tried to think about — and so , when called upon , cheerfully to resign that which was now so intensely enjoyable — [her]_113-ellen studies with [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} — and so benefit by [them]_6636-them as to give [Miss Harcourt]_{112-miss harcourt} no trouble when [she]_113-ellen was again under [her]_{345-her mother} care ; as [she]_113-ellen knew [she]_113-ellen and [Emmeline]_78-emmeline must be , more than [they]_6636-them had been yet , when [Caroline]_120-caroline 's introduction , and [their]_6636-them residence in [London]_13-london , would take [Mr.]_6637-mr. and [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} so much from domestic pursuits and pleasures , and , even when at [home]_563-home , compel [them]_6636-them to be so frequently engrossed with a large circle of [friends]_3577-friends , and all the variety of claims on [their]_6636-them attention and time , which a season in [London]_13-london includes . It was again the 7th of June , and [Ellen]_113-ellen 's birthday . Accustomed from the time [she]_113-ellen became [an inmate of [Oakwood]_12-oakwood]_{2816-an inmate of oakwood} to regard the anniversary of [her]_113-ellen birth in the same serious light as [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} had taught [[her]_113-ellen cousins]_{3955-her cousins} — as a day of quiet reflection , as well as of thankfulness and joy , as one that , closing and recommencing another year of [their]_6636-them individual lives , taught [them]_6636-them that [they]_6636-them were becoming [more and more responsible beings]_{6642-more and more responsible beings} — it was not much wonder that [Ellen]_113-ellen , the whole of that day , should seem somewhat less cheerful than usual . [She]_113-ellen had indeed had many sources of thankfulness and joy during the past year , but a heart and mind like [hers]_113-ellen could not recall its principal event without a return of sorrow . [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} would not notice [her]_113-ellen now unusual sadness until the evening , when perceiving [her]_113-ellen standing engrossed in thought beside one of the widely - opened windows , near which [Caroline]_120-caroline was watering some lovely flowers on [the terrace]_{2675-the terrace} , [she]_0-i gently approached [her]_113-ellen , and , putting [her]_0-i arm round [her]_113-ellen , said , fondly — "_[3398-you] [You]_3398-you have thought quite seriously and quite long enough for to - day , [[my]_0-i dear]_{3485-my dear} [Ellen]_113-ellen ; [I]_0-i must not have any more such very silent meditations . That there is something to regret in the retrospect of the last year , [I]_0-i acknowledge , but [you]_3398-you must not let it poison all the sources of thankfulness which it brings likewise . " "_[3398-you] It was not of [my]_0-i past conduct , [I]_0-i was thinking at this moment , [aunt Emmeline]_78-emmeline — it was — " "_{[78-emmeline]} What , love ? tell [me]_0-i without reserve . " "_{[78-emmeline]} That [I]_0-i never , never can return in the smallest degree all [I]_0-i owe to [you]_3398-you , " replied [Ellen]_113-ellen , with a sudden burst of emotion , most unusual to [her]_113-ellen controlled and gentle character ; "_[0-i] [I]_0-i never can do any thing to evince how gratefully , how intensely [I]_0-i feel all the kindness , the goodness [you]_3398-you have shown [me]_0-i from the first moment [you]_3398-you took [me]_0-i to [[your]_3398-you home]_{1726-your home} — [an unhappy , neglected , ailing child]_{3401-an unhappy , neglected , ailing child} , and this year more , more than ever . [[My]_0-i own poor mother]_{3402-my own poor mother} left [me]_0-i in [my]_0-i dangerous illness , and what have [you]_3398-you not done to give [me]_0-i back not merely physical , but mental health ? Day and night [you]_3398-you watched beside [me]_0-i , forgetting all the care , the misery , [my]_0-i conduct had caused [you]_3398-you , only thinking , only seeking , to give [me]_0-i back to health and happiness . Oh , [aunt Emmeline]_78-emmeline , [[your]_3398-you very household]_{3403-your very household} can evince gratitude and love , in the performance of [their]_{3403-your very household} respective duties — [I]_0-i can do nothing , never can . If [I]_0-i only could . " "_[3398-you] Do [you]_3398-you remember the fable of the lion and the mouse , [[my]_0-i dear]_{3485-my dear} [Ellen]_113-ellen , and [Miss Edgeworth]_{246-miss edgeworth} 's still prettier story on the same subject ? " replied [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , more affected than [she]_0-i chose to betray , though [she]_0-i drew [[her]_0-i niece]_{372-her niece} closer to [her]_0-i , and kissed [her]_{372-her niece} fondly . "_{[246-miss edgeworth]} [I]_0-i hope [I]_0-i shall never be caught in a net , nor exposed to such horrors and danger as poor [Madame de Fleury]_{247-madame de fleury} in the French Revolution ; but for all that , and unlikely as it seems now , [[my]_0-i dear child]_{1285-my dear child} , [you]_{1285-my dear child} may have many an opportunity to return all that [you]_{1285-my dear child} so gratefully feel [you]_{1285-my dear child} owe [me]_0-i . Do not let any such thought worry [you]_{1285-my dear child} ; but believe [me]_0-i , when [I]_0-i assure [you]_{1285-my dear child} that affection and confidence are the only return [I]_0-i require , united , as they are in [you]_{1285-my dear child} , with such an earnest desire , and such persevering efforts to become all [[your]_{1285-my dear child} best friends]_{3406-your best friends} can wish [you]_{1285-my dear child} . " [She]_3420-mamma was interrupted by the entrance of [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , with a small parcel in [her]_78-emmeline hand . "_[3420-mamma] [Mamma]_3420-mamma , this has just arrived from [Exeter]_25-exeter for [you]_{1285-my dear child} ; with an apologizing message from [Mr. Bennet]_{248-mr. bennet} , saying , it should have been here last night , as [he]_{248-mr. bennet} promised , but [he]_{248-mr. bennet} could not get the articles from [London]_13-london in time . [I]_0-i am so very curious as to what it possibly can be , that [I]_0-i would bring it to [you]_{1285-my dear child} [myself]_0-i . " "_[0-i] Any other time [I]_0-i would punish [your]_{1285-my dear child} constant curiosity , [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , by refusing to gratify it . [I]_0-i can not do so now , however , for [I]_0-i should punish [myself]_0-i as well . [I]_0-i did want it most particularly this morning ; but [I]_0-i am glad it was not delayed till the day was quite over . [[Your]_{1285-my dear child} uncle]_{3427-your uncle} and [I]_0-i did not forget [your]_{1285-my dear child} birthday , [[my]_0-i dear]_{3485-my dear} [Ellen]_113-ellen , though it seemed so . " And opening the parcel as [she]_0-i spoke , a very pretty jewel - case appeared , containing the watch , cross , and all the other trinkets [Ellen]_113-ellen had placed in [Mrs. Langford]_{204-mrs. langford} 's hand , and never had had the courage to inquire for , and the few [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} had kept for [her]_113-ellen , but so prettily arranged and beautifully burnished , that [she]_113-ellen would scarcely have known them again . "_[113-ellen] Did [you]_{1285-my dear child} never feel any curiosity as to the fate of [your]_{1285-my dear child} trinkets , [[my]_0-i love]_{3456-my love} , that [you]_{1285-my dear child} have never asked about them ? " "_{[1285-my dear child]} [I]_0-i knew they were in better hands than [my]_0-i own , " replied [Ellen]_113-ellen , with a quivering lip . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i felt [I]_0-i had no further right to them , after attempting to part with [them]_3411-them . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i know there are some very painful associations connected with these trinkets , [[my]_0-i dear]_{3485-my dear} [Ellen]_113-ellen , and , therefore , [I]_0-i would not return them to [your]_113-ellen own care , till [I]_0-i could add to [them]_3411-them a birthday - gift , " and , lifting the upper tray , [she]_0-i took out a gold chain , and a pair of bracelets of chaste and beautiful workmanship—"that_[113-ellen] the sad memories of the one may be forgotten in the pleasant thoughts of the other . [I]_0-i have only one condition to make , " [she]_0-i added , in an earnest lower tone , as [Ellen]_113-ellen tried to speak [her]_113-ellen thanks , but could only cling to [[her]_113-ellen aunt]_{367-her aunt} 's neck and weep . "_[0-i] If ever again [you]_113-ellen are tempted to dispose of them , [dearest]_861-dearest , promise [me]_0-i to bring them to [me]_0-i , for [my]_0-i valuation first . " "_[113-ellen] [You]_113-ellen shall be put into fetters at once , [Ellen]_113-ellen , " said [Emmeline]_78-emmeline joyously , as [[her]_78-emmeline cousin]_{4159-her cousin} gave the required promise , so eagerly , that it was evident , [she]_78-emmeline felt how much security dwelt in it . "_[80-mamma] [Mamma]_80-mamma , make [her]_113-ellen put them on ; [I]_0-i want to see if [she]_113-ellen looks as interesting as [Zenobia]_249-zenobia did in [her]_113-ellen golden chains . " "_{[249-zenobia]} [I]_0-i think [you]_0-i might find a prettier simile , [Emmeline]_78-emmeline , " replied [Mrs. Hamilton]_{81-mrs. hamilton} , smiling , as [she]_0-i granted [her]_0-i request , by throwing the chain round [Ellen]_113-ellen 's neck , and fastening the bracelets on [her]_113-ellen wrists . "_[0-i] So [I]_0-i can , and so [I]_0-i will , " replied [the lively girl]_{3414-the lively girl} , altering , without the smallest hesitation , the lines to suit [her]_0-i fancy —